A Liberal-Crime-Squad themed Pinkemena story

>It sucks to be isolated due to your asocial-ism when you need help.
>Like now.
>You were kidnapped while on a date about three days ago.
>When you were about to get laid for the first time[spoiler], he pulled a desert eagle on you.[/spoiler]
>Then he didn't even >rape you[spoiler] though you can't >rape the willing[/spoiler], he just escorted you to a business, then took you through three different "Do Not Enter" doors.
>Since then, you've been kept in a small room.
>It smelled vaguely of cleaning products.
>You really wish you could talk to someone.
>The closest things to human contact you've had since then was warm meals every time you fell asleep.
>You are Pinkemena.
>And you are lonely.
>You just realized that you have been kidnapped by Satan.
>This is the fourth day.
>Today, your meal was delivered by your captor.
>You immediately set into the meal, and, once done, sat in the corner and stared at the ground.
>But while you were counting the mistakes that you made in your lifetime, you realized that a golden light was radiating from where He had been standing.
>You had looked to Him, and realized that He had turned into an Angel of Light.
>He had smiled, and spoken a greeting.
>You don't remember what it was, but it made you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
>And then.
>He talked.
>He talked well.
>He talked of the Righteousness of Free Speech.
>Of the Great Task of Tolerance.
>And the blasphemy of Religion.
>You were astonished that a holy Angel like He was would say such things.
>But He was an Angel, so who were you to argue?
>You were ceding to His arguments when you began to smell something aside from the cleaning products that you become used to.
>Sulfur.
>At the same time, you realized that the golden illumination He was emitting was actually hellish, fiery, red light.
>And as you had watched in horror, instead of words, what spewed from His mouth was a vile liquid, the mere existence of which seemed to stain the fabric of reality.
>Backing away, you had screamed as He turned into a writhing mass of wrongness, vermin dropping from His mockery of holy garb, and the very air around Him seeming to grow corrupt and tainted.
>You turned to the corner, then, and began to weep, and pray, and sing.
>Anything that drew your mind from the evil behind you.
>Unable to corrupt an aware being, He turned, then, and left.
>So, wet from your own tears, you slept, and dreamed of death, where He could not touch you.
>You are Pinkemena.
>In your fifth day of captivity.
>And you don't know what happened last night.
>You must have been drugged.
>It was probably in the food.
>Your captor was just a normal human.
>Well, he probably was messed up in the head, but he wasn't Satan, at least.
>He-
>"Feeling better?"
>Snuck into the room without your notice.
>After the initial shock, you look him over.
>Human.
>Speaks words.
>No light coming from him at all.
>Wearing a classy black suit.
>Very clean.
>"I just wanted to talk to you about politics, but you freaked out."
>wut
>He sits down in front of you, seiza position.
>"I'm Anonymous, you may have heard of me."
>So you talk.
>Him about crazy liberalism.
>You about its fallacies.
>When you are done, you somehow feel that he came out the better.
>He is oddly kind, and accepting.
>It confuses you.
>And you go to bed on his comforting lies.
>You are Anonymous.
>Today is the sixth day of your attempt to convert Pinkemena.
>Your old sweetheart.
>When you first tracked her down for Liberalization, she didn't even recognize you.
>It hurt.
>But you managed to secure a date despite the bitterness.
>And when you took her to the Lover's Point gathering place, you Liberally acquired her.
>After isolation for three days, she was quite willing to talk.
>About any subject.
>The drugs were a mistake, though.
>So next session, you just talked.
>It worked well enough, she seemed to have a lot on her mind by the end of it.
>And today, you talk again.
>When you enter the room, she seems quite happy.
>She even shoots you a quick smile as you place a chair for her, then sit in your own.
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>You speak of the brutality of the police.
>The redundant army.
>And the other, numerous failings of Conservatism.
>After a time, you see that her eyes begin to harden, and so, end your chat for the day.
>You leave the furniture, along with some Liberal documentaries and a chocolate cupcake.
>You feel she would enjoy them.
>You are Pinkemena.
>You anxiously wait for Anonymous to come.
>It sounds really pathetic to your mind, but you were enjoying the time he would dedicate to you daily.
>B-Besides! He was the only human interaction you had.
>And you were hungry.
>That was it! You were hungry, and he always brought food.
>That must be it.
>You didn't enjoy his presence at all.
>But you were still so impatient...
>And then the door opened, and he entered the room.
>You greeted him with a beaming smile, and began to question him in earnest.
>You are Pinkemena.
>And you are Enlightened.