If You Want To Be Taken Seriously, Don’t Call Your Game Warface
Kirk Hamilton

Crytek, the studio behind the Crysis series and its eye-bleeding Cryengine graphics tech, are getting ready to launch their newest game. It's a free-to-play shooter. It's already out in some parts of the world, and will be out in North America pretty soon. And it's called Warface.

Yes. That is the name. "Warface."

Crytek would very much like you to take this game seriously. They have created a gaggle of dramatic promotional images like the one above, mostly of frowning men with guns. These men have a Job To Do. That job is written all over their faces. The writing looks... like war.

Crytek is attempting to take Warface and free-to-play seriously, according to a new article over at Polygon. That isn't going to happen. When I see "taking seriously" in the same sentence as "Warface," I don't take it seriously at all.

This isn't to say that dumb names can't catch on. After all, we're already tossing around "Wii U" like it's a perfectly normal, not-at-all ridiculous name. But it's been ages since Crytek's game was announced, and Warface sounds just as clunky and silly as ever.

    "What are you going to do after school today, man?"

    "Oh, you know. Go home. Have a Hot Pocket. Play some Warface."

It sounds for all the world like a playground insult:

Billy: "You're a big stinky-pants!"

Bobby: "Yeah, well you're a WARFACE!" [Starts crying]

I like Crytek's games. Warface might even be fun, in a meat-and-potatoes shooter kind of way. But I swear, as long as it continues sporting that ridiculous name, a huge subset of people, including me, are never going to take it seriously.