(AiE) Human "Behavior" (B-) *Discontinued*

>Day 43 in Equestria
>Let's get this shit started
>You and Lyra are enjoying a smoothie at a random location in town
>Both of you have your own so don't start
>The location is also random because fuck you that's why
>"That was real fun Anon, I had no idea humans enjoyed bowling too." Lyra finally speaks up after an exceptionally loud slurp
>Not to be outdone you decide a belch would be a better response, upon which you quickly excuse yourself
>If ponies like Rarity heard you acting like that who knows what kind of earful you would get
>It was bad enough when you told your new source of clothes that you didn't want anything "fabulous"
"Well I had no clue you Ponies had it too, I had a real great time."
>"Of course -you- did, you forgot to take it easy on me." Lyra giggles before nudging your side with a foreleg
>You always thought it was a little weird at first how she would sit like you, but it quickly wore off
>Lyra has been a much welcomed dose of friendliness after what happened with Twilight
>Where would she even get the idea to wonder if a human could survive without a head?
>That might have come from you when you joked about Spike running around like a chicken with his head cut off after he nearly forgot an appointment with Rarity
>Matter of fact it was that very day, but enough reminiscing
"You didn't ask me too." You flatly state before taking another sip of your delicious smoothie
>Damn things were sooo delicious
1/5

>"Oh boo, you know you're supposed to let the girl win on the first date right?" Lyra flashes a grin
>Gods have mercy upon this poor mare, you just spit out some of the nectar of the gods
>She laughs a bit while you struggle to stop yourself from unleashing heaven's fury upon the she-devil next to you
>"Still though, it was fun and at least you treated me to the smoothie. Thanks" She smiles warmly up at you
"Yeah yeah, least I could do after mopping the floor with you" You stick your tongue out at her with that comment
>She's about to say something else when one of her ears twitch
>You know exactly what that means
>Think fast Anonymous, science is on the prowl and it's covered in purple and... bandages?
>That might explain the groaning noise you heard earlier when you swung open the doors to Sugarcube Corner earlier
>The door resisted you for a second, as if something was obstructing it at first
>The Cakes had also planted some nice bushes just outside the door recently too
>They looked pretty thorny
>She'll be fine, she's always fine
>Not letting on that you two know she's there you begin scheming once again
>Lyra recognizes the look on your face instantly and mentally prepares herself... you think?
>She likes to have fun, but it's almost to the point you'd think her original mane color was blonde or something
>Almost like that mail mare... only without the bad luck
>How one pony managed to bring down an entire building by knocking on the door you will never know
2/5

>You've got it, this should get her off your butt for the day
>You stand up, Lyra following almost immediately after, and begin walking towards the fountain
>Getting close to the fountain you stop, take a moment to check your surroundings, and sit on the ground
>You totally caught Twilight hiding around that corner nearby, her mane looked a little frazzled
>Crossing your legs Lyra takes a seat right in front of you
>She has gotten real keen on your cues lately, she knows each small movement you make during these little games are small messages telling her what to do
>They're not really, but you're also not gonna let her know you aren't that clever
>Wait... if you aren't sending signals how does she know what to do?
>Tossing that thought aside you hold your hands up open palmed
>Making your thumbs point out and touch you hold your hands together like you're making a football goal post, yet your other fingers aren't clenched
>Lyra puts her hooves to your palms and the two of you begin staring at each other intently
>You two sit there for a couple moments when a pony walks by
>RP:"Hmm? What exactly are the two of you doing?"
>The 64,000 bit question you were waiting for
"We're playing a human game... and I'm winning." You say not breaking eye contact with Lyra once
>L:"I wouldn't count on that, I've almost got you this time."
>In your peripheral vision you spot Twilight stopping mid scribble and don a certain look
3/5

>She's fighting herself on the inside just like you want her to
>Nop0ny could believe something so stupid could be a "game" and yet she's compelled to keep watching you
>She already made the mistake of letting the peace sign slip through her hooves, she can't afford another mistake like that
>That random pony is still watching the two of you completely clueless
>RP:"How do you know when one of you wins?"
>You don't need to answer that, you're just about to make your move anyway
>Still eying one another intently you move a small muscle in your hand that's touching Lyra's hoof
>She responds with an ear twitch letting you know she got the message
>You never said you weren't clever, just not -that- clever
>The two of you suddenly throw your hands/hooves into the air with a frustrated shout
>This startles the random pony for a moment while you and Lyra start arguing
>L:"That wasn't fair Anon, I call foul!"
"Horseapples, You weren't playing fair either. Don't think I didn't see what you did with your hoof a moment ago."
>You're both increasing the levels of anger in your voices
>RP:"Now hold on you two, I was watching the whole time, neither of you made ANY movements whatsoever."
>Luck was on your side this day, this guy couldn't be doing exactly what you wanted any more than if you strung him up like a puppet
>You and Lyra turn to him with glares that could probably rival Fluttershy's stare if the intensity was combined properly
>RP:"Okay okay, why don't you explain to me what happened." he says backing away slightly intimidated
4/5

>Once again you glimpse Twilight staring at you three with quill and parchment at the ready
>This is definitely not part of the plan
>You flash Lyra a quick frowning curl to your lips out of sight of Twilight and the random pony
>This was your "Mission failure, emergency evac, NOW" look
"Nah, it's okay. We can always have a rematch later, we need to get going anyway. We have a thing we need to get to. Right Lyra?"
>L:"Oh yeah, we promised to help Bon Bon at her place in about... 5 minutes!?" Lyra feigns shock as she looks towards the clock tower nearby
>The two of you make quick tracks as Twilight slams her quill and parchment down in a huff
>She wasted two perfectly good pieces of parchment on something she now knows couldn't have been a "human game"
>The random pony still hasn't moved, he's completely baffled at everything that just transpired before him
>Even worse that he saw Twilight walking away still covered in those bandages
>RP:"Was that really a game those two were playing?"
>He continues scratching his head
>Meanwhile the two of you are catching your breath a block away
"Of all passing ponies... we had to get... one that wanted to be helpful" You wheeze out clutching your chest
>"I.... told you... that ponies... are helpful folk" Lyra is lying on her side struggling just as much
>It wasn't just the run that took a lot out of you two, it was the panic too
>Once you both catch your breath you realize neither of you remembered your smoothies
>It's too late for them now, you and Lyra mope the rest of the way to Bon Bon's since you actually did need to see her
>Today was a disaster
5/5