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- Comedy with Pinkie, femanon
- >You are Anneonimous, and after days of planning and some discrete purchases, you are finally ready to unleash your master prank on Pinkie Pie.
- >Despite claims of her being the master of pranking, all you've seen her do is little things that anyone could manage.
- >So you began plotting.
- >The neccessary clothing had been the trickiest part, luckily Rarity had pinkie promised to not tell anyone what you were planning.
- >Once you'd explained what you needed and why, she'd given you a strange look, but agreed to make it.
- >That was two days ago, and today a package arrived from the Carousel boutique.
- >She'd included a note, "I hope you know what you're getting into, Anne. -R"
- >Tossing the note aside, you opened the package and extracted the final piece of your plot.
- >A maternity dress.
- >With this dress, some pillows, and the fact that you haven't shared any details regarding human reproduction, you were going to have some fun.
- >And to top the whole thing off, you got a pink pony doll to plop out at the end of your little show.
- >It's a bit out there, but you've tested the waters with a few 'facts' about human biology, and ponies seem to readily accept what you tell them.
- >As you began changing, you went over your plan.
- >Pinkie was nearly entirely unpredictable, but you had a few tracks to follow depending on the general reaction she takes to hearing you're pregnant with her foal.
- >The pillows in place, you practice with the doll, finding a position that will hold it secure while allowing for an easy release when it's time to give birth.
- >Finally, everything was ready, and you set out for sugarcube corner.
- >Luckily there's no humans, you don't have to stagger around like a beached whale to maintain your act.
- >You get some stares along the way, but that's to be expected considering how you look.
- >Pinkie is nowhere in sight when you enter the gingerbread sweetshop, so you take a seat and wait.
- >It was pretty strange for Pinkie to not be around, hopefully the girls haven't gone off on another crazy adv-"ANNIE!"
- >Your world was briefly replaced with poofy pink as you receive a surprise hug, your face buried in Pinkie's mane.
- >"You seem different today Annie, did you get your mane styled?"
- "No."
- >"Went to one of Iron Will's seminars?"
- "Nope."
- >As Pinkie continues to rattle off more and more possibilities, you decide to nudge her in the right direction by holding your pillow-stuffed belly with a significant look.
- >When she notices, the barrage of wrong guesses finally ends.
- >"OOOOOOOH. I wasn't gonna say anything about that, last time I mentioned when somep0ny looked like they were gaining weight, Rarity went into one of her depressive fits and wouldn't leave her boutique for a week."
- "Pinkie, I-"
- >"And even then, she'd only come out because she'd run out of ice cream to drown her tears in. Of course, by then she really was packing a few extra pounds. It took us the whole next week to snap her out of it, then rainbow ran her through some exercise to work the weight back off."
- "Pin-"
- >"Then I accidentally undid all that work when I sent her a 'sorry I called you fat' gift basket."
- "PINKIE. This isn't about Rarity, it's about us."
- >"Us?"
- "Humans don't reproduce the same way ponies do. When we find someone we care about..."
- >You grab one of her hooves and pull it over, resting it on your belly.
- >It takes her a few seconds to connect the dots in her head, but once she gets there, the result is immediate.
- >"Oh my gosh this is wonderful, Annie! I never said anything because I didn't want to accidentally offend you or anything, but I care about you too."
- >Well shit.
- >Out of all the things you planned out in your head, you completely missed the possibility that Pinkie might be into you.
- >"So when are you due, Annie?"
- "Well, uh, normally it takes a, uh, few days, but thats with other humans, ponies are smaller, so it, uh, may not take as long. Or something."
- >"This is so exciting! Come on, let's go upstairs, we need to find room for the foal's things."
- >As Pinkie yanks you out of your seat to drag you upstairs, you feel the doll wiggle its way loose.
- >Having no way to discretely reposition it, you are helpless to stop it from slipping free, landing on the floor with a thud and a cry.
- >...A cry? You had very specifically NOT gotten one of those creepy dolls that pretends to be real by having crying sounds and the like.
- >You try and look to see what exactly it was that fell out of your dress, but can't see anything over your pillow-stuffed belly.
- >Pinkie, on the other hand, is getting a good look at whatever it is, and she does not look pleased at all.
- >"Annie..."
- >Her mane deflates, going from an impossibly tangled curly mess to perfectly straight.
- >"Why does our foal look like Twilight?"
- >This situation has gotten entirely out of your control, and you really don't like the look in Pinkie's eyes right now.
- >Taking a few steps back, you put some distance between you are her, and also get a good look at this foal.
- >You have no clue where or how it came from, but there is indeed a purple unicorn foal sitting on the floor, looking almost as confused as you are.
- >Pinkie begins to advance on you, slowly, her murderous gaze never leaving your eyes.
- >"Do I mean that little to you that you come here and try and pass someone else's foal as mine?!"
- >Your mind races as you keep backpedaling away from Pinkie, and latches on to the first idea that pops up.
- "I... I don't know you anymore. Pinkie Pie, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow."
- >"Because of Twilight?"
- "Because of what you've done. What you plan to do."
- >The jingle of the doorbell announces a new arrival, but you don't dare turn your head to see who your sav--
- >"Nonono, Twilight, you weren't supposed to come in yet, she didn't finish her line yet! Now we have to start all over!"
- >"Pinkie, Anne looks about ready to have a heart attack, I'm not letting you terrorize the poor girl like that."
- >"But how am I supposed to prove I'm the prankmaster if you go and ruin the perfect counterprank?"
- >"I'm pretty sure she got the idea about the time you swapped her doll for Pumpkin Cake. You remembered to use something that washes out easy to change her color, right?"
- >"Of cooourse, I know better than to make the same mistake twice. Anyway, can we still have that epic duel across Ponyville?"
- >Twilight gives a long sigh. "I suppose."
- >"Awesome! Okay, here's your lightsaber, and don't forget, the ground is hot laaaaavaaaaaaaa!"
- >As the two ponies race across the rooftops taking swipes at each other, you can only gaze in bewilderment.
- >Today was a terrible dialogue day.
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