how /not/ to make a fan troll

How /NOT/ to make a fan-troll (or fantroll, fan troll, or however you prefer your spelling)

I will warn you now that this is not a short read.

Alright, so to be honest, I have a horrible, /horrible/ dislike of fan trolls. (I can only think of two off the top of my head that I actually like.) Most of this is due to OMG MY TROLL IS SO SPESHSHUL!1!1!!! Trolls or MAH LIEF ES SOH HAAAAAAAAAAAA’D trolls. I want to make it clear that I’m /not/ trying to act like I’m better at creating characters than everyone, I’m just listing things that I, personally, find wrong that happens way too often.



Let’s begin.



1.)    BLOOD COLOR.

OMG MY BLOOD COLOR IS SO RARE!!11!!

Okay no. Stop it. The only troll who should ever have a ‘unique’ or ‘mutant’ blood color is Karkat Vantas. As he’s said, this would have normally gotten him culled. It’s a caste system, and you’re not supposed to go too far out of it.





BUT I DON’T WANT ONE OF THE CANON COLORS!1!!!!

That’s fine. It doesn’t have to be identical, but it needs to be at least somewhat on the system. Shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet are okay. RAINBOW, White, Black, and others like them are /not/.

(Also blood doesn’t grant abilities, with the exception of lower classes being more prone to psychic abilities.)

SUPAH ROYAL BLOOD!!!!!!!

I haven’t seen this myself, but one of my friends who rp's a Fef claims to have seen fan trolls with blood ‘higher on the spectrum than Feferi’s’. Yeaaaah no. It has been established that Feferi’s blood is the highest, even higher than the current Empress.

2.)    POWAAAAAAAAAHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

This will be split into two different sections.



A. PHYSICAL POWAHS

SUPAH STRENGTH!!!!!

No. Equius is stronger than (almost) any troll. I’m not saying that your troll can’t be strong, but it does not have to be able to bench press Alternia or anything. (This is an exaggeration, I haven’t seen any that strong yet.)



B. MENTAL/ELEMENTAL POWAHS



NEAR OMNIPOTENCE!



I’ve only seen one or two trolls with this gimmick, but it makes my blood boil each time I see it. “Character X gets near omnipotence/ultimate power when condition y is met” (condition usually being something along the lines of anger or being upset). I’m sorry, what? You’re telling me that your troll gets to God-mod every time he gets pissed? No, never. That, my friends, is annoying as Hell to rp with. I start fighting you, you get mad, and hand me my ass without me even being able to defend myself. Fuck that shit, you do that and I’m going to find someone else to rp with. Come back when you can avoid being a cheap bastard.

…That was more hostile than I intended.



ELEMENTAL CONTROLOLOLOLOLOL!

Yeah okay, not as bad as the above one, but still horrible. We’ve never seen evidence of trolls being able to control elements, (aside from Tavros holding fireballs, but that was a ghost him.) Regardless of whether it is water to shadows, trolls shouldn’t be able to do it. Now, if you really want to, say, control fire, have them use a flamethrower or something. Not as SUPAH SPESHSHUL, but also less annoying.

If you /really/ can’t resist giving them magic, make sure it’s not heavily reliable. Rose is the only person to have been shown with magic (Eridan uses SCIENCE!), and that wasn’t even her own power. It was the horror terrors supplying it. An alternate to UBER MAGICKS!!!! Would be perhaps having a small amount of magic (at most) and have a weapon either amplifying it or supplying the magic.

Under /no/ circumstances should you ever even consider being able to bring back the dead through magic or anything extreme like that.



C. SUPAH POWER UUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPS (/DBZ yelling)

3.) GOD TIERS, RAINBOW DRINKERS, AND KICKING PUPPIES

You’d think I wouldn’t even have to mention God Tiers, but…Look people, in the troll’s session, there are two trolls that reached God Tier. That’s 2/12, or 1/6. For those of you who don’t understand where I’m going with this, God Tier characters are supposed to rarely happen, if ever. They were just made in the /chance/ that a player gained ALL OF THE LEVELS, ALL OF THEM. (I couldn’t resist.) You do not have to be a God Tier to make your character interesting. (Also, more math if you’re not convinced. Counting John, three characters reached God Tier, so 3/16. That’s an 18.75% of your character reaching God Tier status.)

As for the Rainbow Drinkers, they don’t bother me as much as God Tiers do, but they’re far too overused. Rainbow Drinkers are supposed to be a /myth/ on Alternia. Kanaya’s the first confirmed one in all of ever. I’m not saying ZOMG NO RAINBOW DRINKERS EVER!!!!! However, I’ve seen far too many fan trolls who happen to be Rainbow Drinkers. There should only be a few, if only. Also, just because they are a Rainbow Drinker doesn’t mean they have to have an over the top personality. It’s entirely possible for them to have a normal personality.

Kicking puppies…I really just wanted to have a third topic. But seriously, don’t kick puppies. It’s not chill. :o(



4.)    RELASHUNSHIPS WITH CANONS!!!!111!!!!!!

DEAR LORD. IF YOU READ NONE OF THE REST, READ THIS ONE. PLEASE. HERE, FROM ALL TWELVE TROLLS.



Please

pLEASE

plea2e

PLEASE FUCKASS.

:33 < purrease!

Please

PL34S3

Please!!!!!!!!

D -- > Please

PlEaSe BrO?

oh my cod please



PL--------EAS—E!

(Apologies on any messed up ones, I’m tired.)



Alright.

Regardless of what kind, from siblings to cousins, to offspring

Never, /EVER/ have your fan troll be related to a troll, or have a relationship with a troll. (With the exception of friends, but even then, not moirail level friends.)

Trolls do /NOT/ have siblings, cousins, etc. Also, just because you ship a pair of canon trolls, doesn’t mean you get to rp as their child. They should also never be in a relationship with a fan troll, as they would in all likelihood never have met. This annoys me more than just about anything. Now, if your character has heard of a canon troll and has an opinion of them, or are distant friends with one of them, that’s fine. They can even become close friends. However, this should happen through rp, it shouldn’t start that way. It should also all be with the same player. (example: Do not get close to –my- Gamzee and then go off to another Gamzee you’ve never spoken to and be all “OH WE’RE TTLY FRIENDS!”) Believe it or not, canon rp-ers aren’t going to bite your head off if your character lacks an intimate relationship with their trolls. Also, even with rping with the same character, and the same player, your fan troll should not fill one of the canon troll’s quadrants. Now, if it’s an unrequited quadrant, that’s fine, after a while of rping.

5.)    PERSONALITEHS!

Guys, I cannot stress this /enough/. TROLLS ARE VIOLENT, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOUR TROLL HAS TO BE A HOMICIDAL MANIAC. Seriously, this gets old fast. I’ve seen too many fan trolls where the trolls are so blood thirsty that other trolls are afraid to even be around them. I’ve also seen some trolls that are pretty much copy and pasted personalities from canon trolls, with only a bit of change, if any. Please, please, at least /try/ to be original with your personalities.

Those are the main points, the rest don’t irritate me as much, but are good things to think about.

6.)    LUSUS NATURAE, QUIRKS, AND HIVES…THREE TOPICS!

Alright, with the lusus, it’s not too bad, but there are some that are generally overused. Try to be creative. Wolves, dragons, snakes and the like are pretty common, so I’d stay away from them. Also remember that while Alternia has creatures that aren’t like Earth’s, combining two animals (ex: a phoenix and a cat, I’ve seen it) does not make for a good idea.

As for the quirks, look at the canon ones. They’re pretty simple; just switch a few letters, maybe mess with some punctuation, etc. Try to keep yours simple, too. Remember that the other person you’re rping with has to be able to read it, and that people read things differently. Some things to stay away from would probably be things like 1337, as not everyone can read it, and there are different styles of 1337 that can make reading it confusing if someone only knows one style. Also, don’t just copy a canon’s quirk and reword it to sound different. I’ve seen a troll with Karkat’s quirk, and all the changed was the way it was described. Come on guys.

Hives, I don’t have much to say, most people are pretty good about this. However, there are some trolls who don’t seem to understand how these work. Trolls live in /hives/ not in the sky (I’m not even joking I’ve seen this), or in the arctic (does Alternia even have an arctic region?) Most of the trolls have their hives in lawnrings, with lower bloods having rather simple hives, and the higher blood getting more fancy ones. Now, I’m not saying that they can’t be in different places, just remember that it should be practical. Also, you should /not/ have a troll live somewhere because they have a power. (Example, an arctic hive because they have ice powers. Again I’m not even joking.)

7.)    MODUS

Again, this isn’t a big deal, but there are people who treat their troll’s modus as SRS BSNS, which it should never be. The modi were and are a gag, and are meant to be an impractical inventory system. It should /not/ do something like drop a meteor onto the ground where you picked something up and captcha’d it. (I’ve seen this.) What it could do instead is captcha the item, and ejects another one, or else does something more impractical.

8.)    NAMES

This should /really/ not need explaining. In case it wasn’t obvious, all of the canon trolls have six (6) letters in both their first and last name. It has since become fan-canon that all trolls have names like that, (with the exception of the ancestors, who have eight letters.) Now, it isn’t required for names to have six letters, but it is what is generally accepted, and personally it irritates me when I see otherwise.



That’s all for now, I may think of more later, but it will probably be in a different note. If you read all of this, go get yourself a cookie, and I thank you for your time. Again, I’m not trying to sound better; I’m just saying my opinions.)