SCP-XXX(The Smartass N64)

Item #: SCP-XXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is to be stored in a standard storage unit at facility █████ inside an ordinary cardboard box.  Any personnel wishing to conduct an experiment with SCP-XXX should gain clearance with Dr. █████ █████.

Description:  SCP-XXX is a standard, unremarkable Nintendo 64 gaming console.  It has only one difference from a standard issue Nintendo 64 - Instead of the normal slot for game cartridges, SCP-XXX has a square hole where the slot should be.  When SCP-XXX is wired properly to a television and powered, the television it is connected to will turn on and will not turn off again til SCP-XXX is also turned off.


When any form of gaming media is inserted into the hole on SCP-XXX, it will run the game in question without any issues, regardless of what system the game was designed for.  SCP-XXX is sentient, and will talk to whoever is using it, either by form of a deep male voice with a New-York accent projected from the speakers.  SCP-XXX speaks using slang common to stereotypical 60s gangsters.  SCP-XXX has an extremely rude and obnoxious personality, often making remarks to the user that irritate or anger them.  If damaged by the user, SCP-XXX will loudly swear at anyone in the vicinity and reduce them to tears, a state which will last til they are comforted with gentle caressing and soft murmurs.


If a DVD is inserted into SCP-XXX, SCP-XXX will reprimand whoever inserted it, jettison the DVD out at high velocities towards the offender's head, and turn off.  Dr. ██████ decided to insert a DVD a second time, to "see what it would do."  SCP-XXX functioned as normal, until Dr. ███ attempted to use it, at which point SCP-XXX said "What are you, a moron?"  before [EXPUNGED], resulting in █ injuries.  SCP-XXX did not function again for the rest of the day.


For a full log of experiments ran on SCP-XXX, see XXX-Experimentation Log A.