Give Me the Bread
	The aisles of the local Trader Joe’s lay seemingly empty. A lonely cashier taps his fingers on the counter while waiting for a customer. He jolts up in surprise as the automatic doors slide apart, revealing an average height Chinese man sporting a rather rugged looking mustache. His wide grin makes him look rather anxious, while the fire in his eyes portrays his deeper emotions.  Everyone who works in the store knows this man. He takes being a regular to the furthest extreme possible. He spends countless hours a day, every day, in this store.  The cashier ponders to himself how one man would need so much food, but quickly banishes the thought and buries his head in a magazine while he waits for a customer to approach his register.
	The Asian man scans the shelves, row by row. He knows what he came for and exactly where those items hide amongst the thousands of other labels and boxes. His knowledge of the store is greater than that of the actual employees who stock the shelves, but he continuously studies the isles for new merchandise. His breath is heavy and his hands are shaking as he gently runs his fingers across the face of the delicacies that fall under his lustful gaze. His mind races as he imagines all of the uses for something as simple as a donut. A small moan escapes the man’s mouth that he quickly stifles with a hand.  Not here. He feels the growing pressure in his trousers and heat in his face.  His trip to the store is cut short by the inability to control his urges. The deviant hastily throws his required purchases into his basket and sprints to the registers while holding his breath.
	The cashier perks up as he notices the approaching man and readies his work-area. It is obvious that something distresses the customer, but he decides to leave the matter untouched and spouts off his general greeting of, “How are you today Mr. Cahoonas?”  Cahoonas snaps out of his trance at the mention of his name and releases a mumbled response that the employee did not catch.  His mind is too focused on his tasks ahead to even begin a normal conversation.
	With the groceries bagged and paid for, Cahoonas walks as fast as he can to his car without toppling over the stereotypical paper bag filled to the brim with goodies, with a large baguette sticking out of the top. He doesn’t even take the time to stow his prizes the trunk, and instead climbs into the driver’s seat with his them sitting on his lap. The feeling of the fruits and vegetables bouncing against his manhood sends shivers down his spine as he pulled out of the lot and onto the main street. He wants to savor the feeling a little longer, but his pleasure-filled drive ends quickly as he only lives a few minutes away.
	The young adult steps out of his car and nearly drops his purchases on account of his sweating palms. He fumbles with his keys on the way into his apartment. His hands are shaking too much from anticipation to perform any task calmly. He throws the front door open with his eyes set on his destination: the bedroom.  Upon entering the room and locking the door, he quickly threw the paper container on the bed, spilling the contents all over his blanket. His sexual desire peaks as he eyes the food covering his covers. Unable to hold on any longer, Cahoonas dives face first into his awaiting lovers.
	 He rips off his jeans as quickly as possible, exposing his erect member. He grabs widely with his anxious hands and begins thrusting into a head of lettuce, pulverizing it. The Chinese man frowns at the lack of strength of the vegetable, and begins his pelvic motions, softer this time, between two tomatoes. Their juices squeeze out of the fruit, covering his groin in a slimy paste. Searching for higher stimulation, he removes the lid from a pint of yogurt, and lathers it all over his nude body. The cold yogurt against his burning skin forces a loud gasp to release from his mouth. His mind goes blank as his pants fill the room. The long time food-lover knows that he cannot last much longer, and grabs the large baguette. Covering it in mayo, he slides it slowly against his puckered sphincter. After teasing himself, he takes the plunge and slams the loaf of bread deep into his intestines. His mouth flies open, but no sound comes out. He pulls the makeshift dildo back and forth until he flies over his peak. Cahoonas climaxed stronger than he thought humanly possible. The sticky white fluid covered his now-used lovers as he toppled over unconscious on the bed.
	The sitophile finally awakens later that night to find that he is still exhausted. Sex always seems to sap all of his energy, but he knows that he has to clean up his mess. He begrudgingly rolls out of bed and gazes at his work. “Nothing still edible? Damn.” He sighed, “I guess I will have to make another trip tomorrow.