Yesterday was weird. We went to an indoor play area with the kids and everything was lovely. Then she said she wanted to come stay at mine, so she did.

When we got back and put the kids to bed she started talking about how she has to leave me and how she's going to leave the country and not tell anyone where she's going. Apologising to me because I'd probably get investigated by the police if she went missing. We spoke about this for hours, crying and holding each other lying outside in the rain. I wanted that moment of seeing stars and rain dripping on my face to last forever.

She eventually told me the real reason why she feels she has to leave me and honestly it is too fucked up and there are possible legal issues there so I can't post it. The most I can say is that she is being stalked and harassed by this insane man from an online dating site and he is handing out some pretty serious and fucked up threats to try and break us up.

We went to sleep and she wouldn't let me hold her. Then about 3am she woke me up and we had an amazing almost two hour fucking session, honestly I don't think you're supposed to go that deep into someone's ass. She told me this guy hasn't won and she won't let him tear us apart. We spoke about children and the future we want together.

Waking up with her in my bed and hearing the children play together in the bedroom felt so perfect, exactly what I want. She left about 30 minutes ago and I feel good if a little messed up from all the emotions that are spinning around inside of me.

I know now I can't be without her, the pain I felt when she was leaving hurt more than I thought was possible. I take back everything I said about being scared of her, she loves me so much and I need that love.