ok
so, here's how it went down
in like 2012 or 2013 or so
i made an okcupid
i think i realized i was incel aroudn this time too fwiw
like, before then, i didnt even know
that ppl were like having sex and other stuff
i sorta assumed everyone was like me
i know
i legit thouht most ppl were in like maybe
1-2 LTRs max
and had sex after waiting for like 6ish months
to make sure they really like each other
it seems laughable to write this out right now
anyways, u know how i found out i was incel
so i decided to do somethign about it
i made an okcupid accnt
yeah so i made an okcupid accnt
so contrary to popular belief
i actually got responses to my messages
like, even with my ugly ass profile picture
that i shot in my cube at work lol
i suppose it makes sense tbh
im decent looking
and sorta funny
so i could see women liking that
yeah we do have a bad rep lol
but ok, i didnt get any dates off of this though
mainly i think bcz i have no idea how to make it a date
i would say like some funny thing
then she'd laugh and say 'thats hilarious!'
then id say another funny thing
and theyd say tha too
then id be like 'ok.. now what'
so id just msg somebody else
lol
i dont know man!
i still dont know, fwiw
so, anyways, one person who had
no picture and no profile
asked me 'wehre do you live? do you want to hang out?'
at like 3am
i got really excited
oh boy, a date!
and thus begins the story of my firs and only date, ever
so, turns out after some back and forth she lived about 60 mi away from me
in a super ghetto area
but, i was like, ok, w/e thats fine. i can deal with it. lets get breakfast tomorrow!
and she said ok
lets go
so i wake up like 4 hrs later at 7 to make the hourish drive to the slums to go see this person
somehere about 30 mins in it occurred to me that u know this is probably a bad idea
like, she is probably gonna stab me
and rip out my kidney
or, im gona get jumped for drug money
or something
also, it was raining
like fucking pouring
so noting was going right
so i get to where we're supposed to meet and turns out its like in front of a tatoo parlor
and i think 'fuck, okay, get ready for a fight clsoe'
against all expectations
she was actually pretty qt
think abotu that folks
she looked sorta like
mousey
a little taller than me (i'm 5'8'')
yup
so, i said, lets go get bfast
so we went to dennys
lol
it was right there
yeah so far so good
but then it gets bad
right from the get go, she starts running her mouth
it seems as if this woman hasnt spoken to anybody in months
and thats because she hasnt
apparently she was a NEET
like a real life one
she hadnt left her room in 2 months
so i was trying to make conversation
'do you like movies'
(no)
'video games?'
(no)
'books?'
(no)
'uhhh... music?'
(i dont listen to anything)
'wow, so how abot politics'
(i dont follow the news)
so im thinking 'wtf does this woman do all day'
turns out she mostly watched the history channel
she was telling me in detail
about like weird autistic documentaries
about aliens
u know that guy
witht eh hair
that guy she was mostly talking about
yeah it gets worst
if u can believe that
so, she was talking with great enthusiasm
about the history channel
but i guess there was this family behind us
holy cow
she got fucking mad
cuz their kid was being a kid aka laughing and talking
'fucking BREEDERS'
'i HATE their little hellspawn'
'the WORLD is ending bcz of this shit'
yeah
so i thought i would lightne the mood
like
'so i like your cape'
she was wearing like a girl cape
'where did u get it from'
turns out, she goes dumpster diving
for clothes
like i didnt know that was a thing
but i gues sit is
lol
then she started tearing into me about what a bad person i am
like
'you know, i can see it in your face'
'you have a mask of happiness on'
'but there is a depe inner sadness'
'how do u project yourself to the world'
'how do u manage in life'
and i'm thinking 'the fuck is this'
lol
so she started goin off about this and that about me, btu we had almost finished up
so i was thinking 'jeez man this is such a depressing convo'
'i have to do something about this'
'lighten the mood'
we were near the ocean, so it occurred to me we should go to the pier
there was a pier nearby
and at the end theres like a gate
with like graffiti and 'street art' on it
its a cool place
so i was like
'hey! lets go to the pier! it'd be a nice walk'
and she agreed
SMOOTH right
not bad
i applaud myself tbh
even in retrospect
sooo
we hop into my car and drive over to the pier to take a walk
so this entire time
she starts telling me about her life
like, how she doesnt leave her room
her dad beats her mom
and also beats her
how all the kids used to bully her and beat her too
at the time
no this is 100% true
this is a real story
like, i was 25ish at the time
or 26?
she was around 23/24
so she starts takling about her life and stuff like that
and we're walking down the pier and im thinking lke 'man.... this woman has had a rough life'
'this is really depressing'
'this is the worst date ever'
'i must be so bad at htis'
stuff like that basically
so we get to the end where hte gate is
and i think 'okay close, this is ur moment. say something to cheer her up'
so i go
sigh
hold your horses folks
this is a lot of cringe
let me prepare myself cuz i cringe irl just thinking about it
ugh
'you know, theres a lot of pain in you. you need to let go of your anger, or else you'll continue to hurt in your heart'
sigh
so i say that
then she looks at me
and her face controts into this expression of combined grief, rage and anger
then she fucking SCREAMS
like a banshee
like arooooooowoowowowowowowo
and lunges at me with extreme force
so im like
'holy fuck'
and i side step
and she literally SLAMMS against the gate
like i swear she mustve broken something
banging on the gate as hard as he can
like just BANG BANG BAGN
while scream crying
like an animal
like AROWOOWOROWOWOWOWOW
i cant even make the noise
so im like 'holy fuck what is going on'
so i pull her off the gate and im like
'calm down calm down'
'its ok'
and she just like
latches around me like a spider
vice grip
and sorta like collapses on me
and starts crying and craying
so she must've weeped for like, 12 minutes?
over 10 minutes
it was long enough that i actually started getting bored
lol
like 'i wonder when will this be over'
'so i an go home'
i am a shity person
:frowning:
so after she calms down i say something like
'i think its time we head back'
so she goes
'okay'
and we scurry into my car
and i drive her back to her apt
anwyas, while wer'e driving back
she goes
'close.. i have something i gotta tell you'
and im thinking
'holy fuck'
'after all that'
yes
thats actually what happened
'so, im actually pretherapy'
'and ive been taking testosterone'
'im sorry for any trouble'
'im still on HRT'
'and its just been so hard for me'
tbh my first thought was
'wow no wonder she was so strong'
cuz she had a VICE grip
lol
so we get to her house after she drops that bombshell on me and i walk her to her gate
and so she turns around
and looks at me and goes
'well?'
'you want to come in?'
and i think 'uh oh...'
so i did something like
i patted her on the head
like a dog
and said something like
'there there'
lol
and gunned it to my car
and spent the next hour thinking about my outrageous life