Kant's Ego: Chapter 3 *Updates Irregularly*

Kant's Ego
Chapter 3
Mr. Oize


Dear,
		Esteemed Member of the Chapel

	I send this letter in the hopes that you will re-consider our military strategy toward “The Beast to the East”(and also our propaganda campaign. I don't care how well that phrase sells, we are not common street vendors.) You see, the monsters don't behave like a formal military unit: their actually quite weak compared to our main army. The worst we've dealt with is the occasional raiding parties attacking our satellite camps and even then there are no fatalities, they take captives surely, but we never find any bodies.

	I suggest that rather then liberating the surround towns, we head straight for their main base of operations rumored to be some distance to the east. If we can destroy that, we can break their influence here and possibly take the fight to the demon lord herself in the far-off castle.

	Also their have been difficulties with the changing monster populations as we move further into the territory. Were at a loss for what some of these creatures are and it would be wonderful if you could send a scholar to assist in these matters.

	Best,
		Regis
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	Dear,
		Regis

	Your concerns are noted and we will send a church scholar to begin investigation. However, your to stay your assault on their strong-hold until we have proper research on the local monster populace. We may need to crack open some old books if were going to win this war.

	For the Order,
			Grendel

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	This was the second time I’d woken up in some strange place with half-nude persons and I frankly hope there isn't a third, I still have a certain reputation to keep.

“Hey kiddo, you okay?”

	Besides me sat the pinnacle of masculinity, he was tall, muscular, and handsome as all hell. If I wasn't sexual exhausted I may have leaped into his arms. Some would frown on that, but the church had opened up to homosexuality long ago. Something about it being the lesser of two evils.

“The name's Alexis and I'm a prostitute.”

“Hi Alexis, I'm Leto and I have all the question’s you might expect from a sleeping man in little clothing waking up next to a prostitute in what appears to be a cart working on a slave transit.”

“Well you were um...dropped off.”

“Alexis? Such a simple explanation leaves to much unsaid.”

“Fancy with words are we? Fine, others can be just as well spoken. You mysteriously materialized roughly half a meter above the place you found yourself sitting, me and my brothers in shackles took notice of your nakedness and decided to wrap you in what we could spare from our own rags so that you would not be naked and distract our lovely escorts.”

“QUIET BACK THERE!”

	This cart was being pulled by two centaurs. I thought I seen most things, but a centaur doing the work of an ox was new to me. But, sure enough, two of them were pulling this cart that I,  Alexis, and three other men seemed to be occupying over this surprisingly lovely country-side.

“Allow me to introduce our fellows, this is Todd, Mike, and Will. Make marry my fellow prisoners! Misery loves company!”

	The men begin to make merry and sing drinking songs until the centaur once again silenced the fun. Alexis took the silence as an opportunity to complete his explanation.

“Were prisoners you see? Were the leftovers that weren't taken when our villages were raided, or targets of man hunts.”

	Todd took exception to this.

“Oi, I thought only Amazon’s carried out man-hunts, stop trying to make you whore ass seem profitable Alexander!”

“Now Todd I’d like you to direct your attention to the girly tattoo around Leto's neck, clearly the pink means he's very desirable.”

“I wonder what sow he had to woo to get that slapped on him.”

“That bitch...”

	So she really did brand me, but then why...No, No way...

“Are we being transported to the Mound?”

Mike spoke up this time.

“Yep, were off to be either be humped to death or married off to some instinctual cunt. Alexis, you've already been their, why don't you inform him?”

“Now Mike, we are valuable commodities. Do you really think someone would just let good meat spoil? Or Dump tea in a harbor? Perhaps you've seen some madman spread spices around a shit-hole.”

	more and more I was beginning to like Alexis, the man had a certain wit to him. He turned this five man prison transport into quite a lively affair.

“Now Leto, take a look at my arm.”

	Across Alexis's shoulder was a tattoo which seemed to be in the shape of a rising flame.

“This is a brand of the Mound, It's sort of like your social class, you'll get a full explanation once you get their by the instigator, she's much better at explaining the UN-romantic parts of this journey.”

“Yea, I bet that whore is gonna teach us real good.”

“THAT'S IT.”

	Mike had gone too far with that last comment, and one of our escorts was sure to let him know. Clipping off her harness the loud centaur made her way to the side of the cart and glared down on Mike.

“Stop this rude talk at once or I’ll have you disciplined.”

“Yea I’m sure you'd just love to slam me against a wall and use your horse-puss..”

	Mike didn't get a chance to finish his comment as his mouth was stuffed with whatever they used to pave these roads. He let out a painful moan and the centaur took notice. Her face immediately flushed red and a quivering smile took hold. Working nimbly with her hoofs, she moved Mike on his back and began playfully stomping on Mike's chest. Not enough to inflict any pain, but just enough to hurt his pride.

“I'm gonna make you used goods you...”

“CENTAUR, YOU HAVE AN OATH!”

	Her face drained of color and the centaur snapped out of it. With quick and gentle movements she moved Mike back on the car, re-harnessed, and we were once again on our way. Mike quietly thanked Alexis for his intervention and huddled a bit lower in the cart.

“What was that?”

“Were under contract Leto, but so are they. All the monsters serving in the Demon Queen's army are. One of the conditions of this contract is that her solders cannot hurt, kill, or violate us out of scheduled times.”

“Quite knowledgeable for a prostitute, Mr. Alexis.”

“Well Mr. Leto a contract is something that I can understand quite well.”


	The rest of the trip went smoothly now that both drivers and slaves had been humbled. We once again made merry and even the centaurs joined in on our songs before they remember that we were prisoners and they were our guards. All of this was over-shadowed by the Mound.

	What at first appeared to be a small hill in the distance turned into a full-fledged settlement. Human and monster laborers alike were working to construct fortifications and transport goods to various parts of the facility. It became quickly apparent that the Mound wasn't just a military base built on a hill, but inside it. Ants must have tunneled their way into this mountain and made a fortress out of it.

“Well this will my stop.”

	Alexis departed in the cart and waved us off. Apparently he'd only come along with us to make sure the centaurs didn't do anything out of bounds and now that we were at processing he no longer needed to stay. I wonder how high a male prostitute ranked among monsters...

“Please come inside the tent.”

	In order I, Todd, Mike, and Will reared our heads around to observe my wet-dream of a woman, Anubis. It may seem very far, but my goal was still in sight.

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	Dear,
		Diary

	He entered camp today, 'she' had dropped him off in a slave cart and they took him there. I'm so MAD though! He was ogling the one hunky guy! I wouldn't have minded if he took to one of the centaurs and they maybe had their way with him, but a guy is TOTALLY OFF LIMITS. Now that he's in the camp though... I don't think he'll be getting off to easily. I wonder how good he'll get before it's time for harvest?

	I can hardly wait!