Candy-Stoner Anon

>Day 420
>No wait, you don`t do that 420 shit
>But fuck me if you ain`t high anyways
>Is this your house? At least you think it is
>When Twilight said the Joke Poison is not to be taken as a joke, she wasn`t kidding
>That shit hits hard man, just two little hits of that laughing smoke and you are already fucking flying
>"HEHE-HEHE-HEH Daaaaamn right my friend"
>Hell, you might me flying but at least you ain`t laughing like a maniac and talking as that smoke coming out of your nose is
>Shit`s creepy
>*tsk tsk tsk tsk* "Why is such a handsome man like you just walking alone in this place?"
>What the...
>Either you are too fucked up mentally, or you are really hearing voices
>"You are not hearing voices, my dear. I`m right behind you"
>Turn around... but slowly
>They say that if a nigga gets scared, things fuck up real fast
>Wait a moment, you are not a black man, those are not black pigmentations on your skin
>It`s just smoke covering your hands!
>Silly Anon, that`s not how you become black
>"Why are you staring at your hands, oh handsome rogue?"
>Raise your head to find the most beatiful thing ever
>A huge breasted, wide ass, naked lady
>But not a common huge breasted, wide ass, naked lady
>A huge breasted, wide ass, naked CANDY-LADY
>There is nothing you can do, but stare in awe
>"I hope I don`t have to get jealous of your hands for taking all the attention"
>Damn this candy-lady wants it
My hands only give me self-pleasure, but I want you to GIVE ME DIABETES!
>Droll starts to fall from your mouth as you get closer to her
>"Oh make me YOURS. RIGHT. NOW!"
>The following scene is worthy of a mexican soap-opera
>You and the Candy lady embrace yourselves and fall to the floor in a rain of passionate kisses and gropes


>*Meanwhile*
Girls, I tell you, Anon has a problem
>"Fluttershy, what kind of big problem must Anon have for you to call us all?"
>"Twilight, I tell you, this is something serious"
>Rarity goes faster and she reaches Anon`s door and starts opening while speaking
>"I hope this is important, my dear. It is a bad thing to interrupt a lady during her massa-"
>"HOLY BALD APPLE!" "HAHAHAHAHA, LOOK AT HIM!" "SPIKE COVER YOUR EYES!" "What is Anon d- Ouch! Twilight I can`t see!" "Oooh, that looks yummy![spoiler] [/spoiler] "Oh...my *pmmff*"
>Everyp0ny looks at Pinkie with a disgusted face and then back to Anon
>You just try to hide your erected wings without taking your face away from this scene
>Anon is on the floor, surrounded by petals of  naked with a full erection and kissing and licking a candy cane
>"Heyyyyy girls! How are you!"
>Rarity isn`t moving, she just stands there with her eyes wide open
>She looks like a statue
>Slowly Anon gets up and goes to the kitchen
>"Girls, be my guests! Let me prepare you a te-"
>Twilight trots behind him
>"ANON, DON`T!"
>He just does not listen and grabs a kettle with his bare hands
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"

>*The next day*
>Day 4-
Oh shut up you! My head is-AAAGH! What the hell!?
>"What?"
Why are my hands hurting and with bandages?
>"Let me continue with my story and you`ll know damn it!"
Okay okay! Goddamn my head hurts...
>"Where was I? Ah yes..."
>There is a knock at the door and then Fluttershy enters
>"Anon, sweetie, are you feeling better?"
Don`t call me that, and no, I am not! I just woke up, my head is hurting, my hands are hurting, even my mouth is hurting!
>She looks at your hands
>"But your hands look much better now!"
>You look at them, they hurt so much but something tells you they are doing better
What happened anyway?
>You ask while looking at her
>"Well Anon, when me and the girls found you, you were on the floor, nakedasiwantyoutobealways, licking a candy cane and surrounded by Poison Joke petals"
>Wow, that must have been a good night
>A good, fun and fucked up night
>At least there were some candy involucrated
>"Sweetie, why did you have Poison Joke here? I told you it does bad things to you"
>Heh, bad things
I told you already, stop calling me "Sweetie". And Fluttershy listen...[spoiler] [/spoiler]>Her ears perk up and she looks at you[spoiler] [/spoiler] I don`t know what this "Poison Joke" does to you ponies, but we humans can grab a simple herb, and make it do wonders for us when you roll it in a paper, burn it and blow it...
>Damn right
>Humanity at it`s finest
>"You blew an herb?"
>You quickly notice her odd face, a mixture of disgust and [spoiler]disgust[/spoiler]
Nononononono! Not in THAT way, more like the fill your lungs with it`s smoke way
>"Oh..."
>Silly rapist pony...
>You tell Fluttershy to wait downstairs
>Probably not a good idea
>Who knows what kind of things the she-demon will do when you are not near
>Anyways, better get the routine done
>Shit, shower with a little difficulty due to the bandages, and same with the dressing
>No need to shave, everyone loves a nice 9 am beard
>Go downstairs to check on Fuckyhush and make have breakfast
>She fast-forwarded the situation and is already having some breakfast
>The nerve of this pony
>Anyway, sit down with her and reach behind you for a candy
>She drops the spoon and just stares at you with a surprised face
What? Did you just see yourself on a mirror or what?
>"Anon... where did you get that candy?"
>So that`s it then? She wants to know about your secret?
>Well she´ll have noone of it
Not your damn business Fluttershy. And now that I remember, why aren`t you doing that fetish guessing of yours? Ran out of ideas already?
>It might be not a good idea to provoke the demon itself...
>"Oh sweetie, eager aren´t we? But I´m already doing it!"
>U wot m8?
What do you mean?
>"I am a vigilan honey, are close vigilants your fetish?"
>A... vigilant?
What, like, someone who looks personally for information?
>"That´s right Anon, so?"
Nope. And now thatt I remember, you just called me sweetie for the third time today. Third strike, you are OUT, Fluttershy.
>You get up on your feet, leave the candy on the table, grab her by her mane and take her to the door
>"Oh Anon, you hurt me! Is rough-play your fetish Anon?"
You already asked once, and NO, IT IS NOT!
>Cunt punt her
>"Remember Anon! I Remainvigilaaaant!"
>And there she goes, flying away at inimaginable speeds
Vigilate your nose, would ya? It sticks itself where it does not belong!
>Close the door and go back to the kitchen to find... Pinkie Pie?
>"Hi Nonnie!"
Pinkie... What are you doing here?
>She just giggles and grabs your candy
Hey! That´s mine!
>She comes closer
>"So, I herd u liek cands?"
Pinkie drop the candy before speaking....
>She giggles again and drops it on the floor
Such a waste...
>"Sorry Nonny! So, I heard you like candies?"
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do like candies [spoiler] [/spoiler]>You say while grabbing another  candy cane and licking it. [spoiler] [/spoiler] Why do you ask?
>"Where did that candy cane come out?"
>Figured she would want to know about your secret too
Silly Pinkie... You have your ways, and I have min-Uaaf!
>Pinkie uses Tackle! It`s super effective!
>You fall and she stands on top of you, staring right at your soul...through your eyes
>"Here is the thing, SILLY. I like candies, you have candies. You know the rest. SPEAK.NOW. or I will party...[spoiler]  in your dead corpse[/spoiler] Anon...
>You quickly get another candy cane andd raise it with your hand
Hey girl herehere girl, want the candy?!
>Pinkie starts panting and shaking her tail like a bitch
>What? She is female, already checked it!
[spoiler]Heh[/spoiler]
Go for it!
>Proceed to throw the candy through the window
>Pinkie follows it at the same speed, giving you enough time to at least close the window and the door
Uff. Now that was a close call. Damn, two wasted candies in one day, ooooh it is sad day... Anyway, still have my tricks to get more
>Before grabbing a new one you look at the floor and notice some Poison Joke petals
>Grab them and put them in your pocket
This ones are for tonight... and you...[spoiler] [/spoiler]>Stare at the newborn candy cane[spoiler] [/spoiler] You are my precious...my delicacy... my...my...[spoiler]fetish[/spoiler]

>*Later that night*
Say Smoke, you are not so bad buddy, I mean I created you out of my lungs and all, and you ended up being a good lad!
>"You too Anon, you cool man, you cool... *cough* *cough*
>He, a coughing Smoke. What`s next? A coughing Smoke?
Man, I wish I remember how to get candy canes, I KNOW how to get them, I just forgot how!
>Well, at least anything is better than
>"Fluttershy Fucking"
Damn it Smoke, don`t interrupt this shit! It`s more than enough that I am talking with a smoke curtain thanks to this petals!
>"My bad, My bad"
>At least you are not
>Fucking Fluttershy
>*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
Who the hell is it?
>You open something that looks like your door
>Meh, any door works
>"Did you miss me, handsome?"
>Holy Jesus in a pogo stick
I missed every inch of your body miss Candy-Lady...
>"And I missed yours.... COME TO MOMMA!"
>At least you ended up
>Fucking Candy-Lady

[spoiler]>Five minutes before...[/spoiler]
[spoiler]I told you I`ll remain vigilant Anon...[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>You keep walking in your costume to where Anon lives[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>It was a pain in the flank to convince Rarity to make this costume for you, but she is "Generosity"[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>Knock on the door not one, neither 2, but 3 times[/spoiler]
[spoiler]He won`t notice anything different, I have the Poison Joke to thank for that[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>You see the door open but Anon is not looking[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>Time to get his attention[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Did you miss me, handsome?[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>His face becomes pale when he sees you but a smile creeps out of it[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>"I missed every inch of your body miss Candy-Lady[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>Got him where you wanted...[/spoiler]
[spoiler]And I missed yours... COME TO MOMMA![/spoiler]
[spoiler]>Tonight is gonna be a good night[/spoiler]