[FR] Various Oneshots To Be Updated Accordingly

Oneshot #1
>Day Click in Equestria
>Wake up to find Fluttershy had left juices all over your sheets last night
>Luckily non had got on your clothes, but you still need new linens
>You walk to the pony equivalent of Bed, Bath and Beyond
>As you browse the isles, you come upon a door marked 'Beyond'
>Curious, you step inside to find a long hallway
>At the end you find a darkened laboratory, and a single pony steps from the sahdows and hands
>He oddly resembles Christopher Walken
>"Anonymous, i will give you the power to skip anything in your life you which, but are you sure you really want that power"
>You probably should take a minute to think about this life-altering decision
YES YES YES
>"Very well Anonymous, that will be $7.99"
But Adam Sandler got his for free!
>"Who?"
>right
>You hand over the bits and walk out
>You get home, but realize you forgot the new sheets
>But then you have an idea
>Walking up to your bedroom, you press rewind
>You see yourself going back to bed, the sun sinking in the east, and fluttershy flying in reverse through the window
>Then, all the juices- you know what we'll leave that part out
>You press pause as Fluttershy is about to rewind out the window
>Then you press play and Fluttershy eeps in reaction to your sudden appearance
>"Anon, wh-whats going on? Oh! Is your fetish three ways with me and a copy of yourself?!"
No Fluttershy, I'm, uh,...... your Inner Frat Boy yeah, thats it! I've come to tell you that Anon will never love you if you go on with these stupid shennaigans
>"Really?"
Fluttershy, would your own Inner Frat Boy lie to you?
>"Well I suppose not. I guess I can wait for him to love me"
Good, now go back to your house and get some rest
>She leaves and, you're about to fast-forward, when Walken-pony appears next to you
>"You have abused your power Anonymous, by stopping Fluttershy, you have stopped yourself from getting the remote, yet here you are. You have created a paradox, and the only way to fix it is to fuck Fluttershy.
Well I guess thats what I'll ahve to do then
>"You set off towards Fluttershy's cottage, boner ready, and---------
Fluttershy, this is the worst movie idea i've ever heard or seen. And i saw Adam Sandler's Jack and Jill
>"But, we were just getting to my favorite part!"
I don't care, I'm going home
>"Please just hear this next part, then you can go"
Ugh...fine. on one condition
>"Anything"
It can't involve a musical number about me you using the remote on you for a sexual purpose
>She blushes and looks sad at the same time
>"Fine, you can go home"
>No doubt her story would have included the words
>Fucking Anon

Oneshot #2
>Day Re-railment in Equestria
>Wake up
>Shit, shower shave
>Go downstairs and get some Applebloom Crunch
>Hear knock at door
>Fluttershy for sure
>'Hey Anon, is derailment your fetish?'
What?
>'This is now a dubs get thread!'
What are you.....?
>'Did somep0ny say spidermare thread?'
Fluttershy stop
>'What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills-
Oh God please stop, I'll do anything!
>She gets a look in her eye
>the rape look
>'Anything?'
Not that
>'I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.'
>You shut the door and try to unrustle your jimmies
>All because of
>Fucking Fluttershy

Oneshot #3
>Day Binary Code Master Race in Equestria
>01010111 01100001 01101011 01100101 0100000 01110101 01110000
>01110011 01101000 01101001 01110100
>01110011 01101000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010
>01110011 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101
>01000111 01101111 0100000 01100100 01101111 01110111 01101110 01110011 01110100 01100001 01101001 01110010 01110011 0101100 0100000 01101000 01100101 01100001 01110010 0100000 01100001 0100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01100011 01101011 0100000 01100001 01110100 0100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 0100000 01100100 01101111 01101111 01110010
>01101001 01110100 01011100 0100111 01110011 0100000 01000110 01101100 01110101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 01110011 01101000 01111001
>01011100 0100010 01001000 01100101 01111001 0100000 01000001 01101110 01101111 01101110 0101100 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01110011 01110000 01100101 01100001 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 0100000 01101001 01101110 0100000 01000010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01100011 01101111 01100100 01100101 0100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 0100000 01100110 01100101 01110100 01101001 01110011 01101000 0111111 01011100 0100010
No Fluttershy, its not
>01011100 0100010 01000100 01100001 01101101 01101101 01101001 01110100 01011100 0100010
>01010011 01101000 01100101 0100000 01110111 01100001 01101100 01101011 01110011 0100000 01100001 01110111 01100001 01111001 0100000 01101101 01110101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 01101001 01101110 01100111 0100000 01011100 0100010 01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 0100000 01000001 01101110 01101111 01101110 01011100 0100010
>01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 0100000 01000110 01001100 01110101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 01110011 01101000 01111001

Oneshot #4
yad egareva na saw yadoT<
thgis fo tuo sdrawkcab sklaw dna ,dnuora snrut ehS<
srettum ehS<
>"Oh, ok....Fucking Anon"
emoh og ,yhsrettulF oN
>"Is backwards-ness your fetish?"
?gniod uoy era tahw yhsrettulF
ecaf ruoy ni ssa s'yhsrettulF dnif ot ti nepo ,rood eht ta kcnk a raeH<
skcansatoocS fo edis a htiw ,hcnurC moolbelppA barg ,sriatsnwod klaW<
evahs ,rewohs ,tihS<
pu ekaW<
airtseuqE ni sdrawkcaB yaD<

Oneshot #5 - Maury Pony
>You sit behind stage, munching on a donhut.
>You can't believe you said yes to this
>But the mane six had put up a convincing argument, and maybe you could get Fluttershy to finally leave you alone
>You wait for the Fluttershy to finish her tear-filled spheal on stage (which you are watching on a small television), and for the manager pony to wave you onstage
>You walk out to a crowd booing you, and take a seat next to Fluttershy
>A pony across from you two looks at you and says
>"Now Anon, first let me welcome you to the Maury show"
>You wait for the booing to simmer down, and Maury pony looks at you
>"Now Anon, is it true when Fluttershy says you abuse her on a daily basis"
What? No! I've never abused her!
>"Thats not what she says! She says everyday she tries to show you love, and you, quote 'cunt-punt' her off of your yard"
Well....uh.....I mean.....
Alright, yes, I might have kicked her out of my house a few times, but thats only because she's constantly being a stalker and trying to guess my fetish!
>The crowd boos some more
>Fluttershy talks and sobs at the same time
>"I just love you so much Anon, I don't know what to do anymore! You're always so mean to me and I just want you to love me!"
>The audience awws at her and boos you even more
FLuttershy, can't you understand I just don't want to be with a pony? I'm a human. I like other humans. Please understand, its not you personally.
>Complete horse-shit (lel), she was a stalker after all
>"I just can't except that Anon, I know we're meant to be together"
Well Fluttershy, I've tried to be reasonable
>You stand up to leave
I guess we'll go back to the way things were, beings as neither of us are changing our minds
>Maury Pony speaks up
>"Woah, where do you think you're going Anon. We still have to see the test results!"
>Test results?
What test results?
>A security pony comes up to Maury Pony with an envelope, and hands (hoofs?) it to him, while the crowd cheers
>"And the baby is........."
Baby!?
Fluttershy you aren't pregnant!
>"She is pregnant, and the baby is yours Anon!"
Shut up Maury Pony, we never had sex, and its not even possible for it to be mine!
>The audience boos at this statement
>"Well we disagree Anonymous"
>We?
>You look over and notice Luna staring at you
>wait, Luna out during the day?
>This must be a.............
----
>You jolt awake in your bed
>It was all a dream....
>Fucking Luna, making dreams about
>Fucking Fluttershy

Oneshot #6 - Equestrim
>Day Tirdas of Second Seed in Equestrim
>Press load file and find yourself in Windhoof
>More specifically, in your house
>You wake up, daedric armor still on
>So glad you spammed those iron daggers, only way to level up your smithing high enoguh
>You go into the weapon room, and admire all your swords and staffs you've collected
>But something was off
>It felt....empty
>You know what you need
>A wife
>You hear a knock at your door just then and answer
>Its Fluttershy NPC
>"H-Hey Anon, I was just wondering, do you want to be my special somep0ny?"
>She nods to her necklace of mara, and then yours
>You think about it
>She could give you $100 a day if she opened up a shop
>Nah
>You select the no option
>"Oh, well then I'll just have to show you my love"
>Oh fuck
>You see a guard p0ny pass by
Help! Shes trying to rape me
>The guard p0ny looks at you, and with no expression, says
>"Whats the matter, did somep0ny steal your sweetroll?"
What?! No, I'm being raped!
>"I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee."
>Okay, fuck this
>Console commad : Killall
>Fucking Fluttershy
>Fucking NPC Guard

Oneshot #7 - The Aids
>Day the morning after in Equestria
>Fluttershy raped you last night
>She finally got the balls, er, ovaries to do it
>You had told no one about it, you were embarrased
>But you did still go to the doctors to get checked
>If that bitch gave you crabs again......
The doctor pony walks in
Doctor Pony: I'm not sure how to tell you this... SO I'LL LET THESE GUYS DO IT!

(peter and a quartet start singing)

You have aids
Yes you have aids
I hate to tell you boy that you have aids
You've got the aids
You may have caught it when you stuck that filthy needle in here
Or maybe all that unprotected sex you adhere
It isn't clear
But what we're searching for is you have aids
Yes you have aids
Not H.I.V. but full blown aids...

Be sure that you see
That this is not H.I.V.
But really full blown aids...
Not H.I.V. but really
Full blown aids

I'm sorry I wish it was something less serious.......
FULL BLOWN AIDS..
You've got the aiiiiiiiiii----iiiids..
>Day after fucking Fluttershy

Oneshot #8 - Cave Johnson
>Day Lemons in Equestria
>Wake up
>Shit, shower, shave
>Walk downstairs, have some Aperture Science brand testing cereal, its what you gave the test subjects to eat in the labs
>Its Godawful
>You hear a knock at the door, and answer to who else, but Fluttershy
>"H-Hey Cave...Um, are dildos your fetish?"
Dildos? Dildos! I don't want your damn dildos, what am i supposed to do with these? I'm going to make you rue the day you thought you could give Cave Johnson dildos!
>"Eep! I-m sorry...I j-j-just thought-"
Do You know who I am?! I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the dildos!
>"I-I-I-I-"
I-I-I-I-I'm a stuttering horse who thinks dildos are an acceptable fetish for Cave Motherfucking Johnson! Get out of here Fluttershy!
>She flies away crying
>Today was an above average day

Oneshot #9- Not amused
>Day I am not amused
>Wake up
>Shower, shave
>No shitting, you're constipated
>Something in that muffin Fluttershy gave you yesterday didn't taste right
>Walk down the stairs, grab a bowl of your favorite cereal, and sit down to enjoy when you here a knock at the door
>"Everyday. She makes my wheat thicks soggy everyday"
>Open the door, and there stands Fluttershy with a long, trailing paper that is unfurled behind her, down the road and over the horizon
>"Hi Anon, I-
"No, whatever that list is, I don't have time for it"
>"I just thought-t maybe bad jokes were your fetish?"
"I guarantee no joke on that list will make me laugh, hell i won't even crack a smile"
>"Oh, well, um, why did the credit card go to jail?"
"Why?"
>She snickers
>"He was guilty as charged!"
>She bursts out into a fit of laughter and rolls around on the ground
>You just deadpan stare at her
"Are we done here?"
>She controls herself
>"No. Um, why did the golfer where two pairs of pants?"
"...."
>"He was afraid he'd get a hole in one!"
>Another fit of laughter
>It goes on like this for about two hours
>Finally the list ends and she says
>"Well, goddbye until tomor-*cough, cough*"
>"Oh my, sorry, I guess I'm just a little-
"NO! Don't. You. Dare. Not one more joke, especially not that one"
>She inches her face right in front of yours, stares into your eyes, and says
>"I guess i'm just a little horse"
>Thats it
>You wind up your foot and send it into Fluttershy's stomach, and she goes flying off into the distance
>Rainbowdash sees this as she walks up to your house
>"Wow, looks like you really SHOE-ed her who's boss"
>Goddamit, you hate it here