Case Log - 20XX (about three years ago) - Rabbit-Face

“Do it.”

We stood there together, the magical girl and me, and we stared each other down. I’d set a passcode – a sign, a secret signal – with QB Heavy when I set this job up, but…

“It’s degrading…ma’am.” But Sparkles wouldn’t do it. She gave me a look like she’d just stepped in something from under her baseball cap. “I’m sorry, but I’m not here to amuse you or something. You needed me to do a job, and I’ll do it.”

I slumped. She just wasn’t getting it.

“Listen,” I said, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice. “I set up a passcode so I could be totally sure you were one of Mister QB’s girls and not some like, super terrorist or something that wants my butt in a blender. So do it, or I’ll just go alone, and I’ll probably die, and you’ll have to live with it.”

“…” She opened her mouth, then shut it again with a sigh before starting to move. Thinking lightning-fast, I whipped out my phone to take a picture as she assumed the position, and she glared at me with a venom usually reserved for the biggest and jerkiest bees. Do bees have venom? I feel like I should know this.

“…Nyaaa,” she grumbled – which I didn’t even think you could do, going ‘nyaaa’ – as she took on a lucky cat-ish pose. …Even if she hated me for it, I still took a picture. She was really cute, for a battle-hardened killing machine.

…Subarashii desu nya.

“…Are you done?” the magical girl huffed, while I set my new phone wallpaper. “Is that good enough?”

I really sort of expected there’d be more cat ears, but I decided that just this once, I’d give her a break. There was violence in those cobalt blue eyes, and it’d be a shame to waste it on me. Both of us had bigger fish to fry tonight. …And maybe some fried fish after.

---

We went over the mission details on the way there (and it sounded so cool to talk about it like a real spy thing) – a splinter cell (so awesome) of magical girls had broken away from the Ninth and joined up with some of the local yakuza, and they were making a real mess of the Officio’s reputation. The Ninth wanted a good, clean opportunity to deal with them and set an example. I wanted some low-key security while I dug for a scoop about some rogue magical girls. It worked out for everyone! Maybe not the scumbags we were about to bust, but who cares about them?

…It was about the only way I could afford a bodyguard, actually. Things were way easier when Kaneda was still around. We just backed each other up when we could. She didn’t scowl as much as the girl the Ninth sent, either.

Her name was Miki Sayaka, and I found out later she’d already started drumming up a reputation in the Ninth as kind of a goody-goody. Well, I mean, like half the magical girls you ever hear about ever start out like that, but for Miki, it’d lasted a lot longer than just a couple of months, and as she lectured me over and over about staying behind her and hiding if things got messy and something something I wasn’t really listening I almost started to think she might have been really worried about me.

Once I was done looking over my equipment (everything but the mic hidden on my person, which would’ve been a pain in the butt to take off and mess with), I interrupted her.

“Are you buying?” It seemed to take her completely off-guard, and she stopped mid-sentence like a deer in headlights.

“…What?”

“I mean, you seem really worried about me. I figured you were gonna buy dinner. Ooh, we could catch a movie!” Well, maybe I was a little bit serious, too. She looked like she could afford to lighten up a little bit, and the stony look she gave me only proved my point.

“Please, ma’am, if you don’t take this seriously you’re just risking both our lives.” We locked eyes for a second, then I let mine slip away toward the ground and messed with my camera again, mostly to look busy. And like I wasn’t a little mad. I don’t think it worked.

She was seriously no fun at all.

---

Miki glanced at me uneasily about every five seconds as we were unceremoniously led into a dingy hotel room in a crappy part of the city. Somewhere private. No cops. No yaks. Just four magical girls, me, and my assistant (slash bodyguard, but they didn’t know that). She clutched a cheapie video camera that I didn’t actually expect would make it out alive; I showed her how to use it on the way, or at least, how to look like she was using it.

We were all candid here (well, you know, allegedly). Everything was out in the open, because this was a small bid for legitimacy. A mission statement for these magical girls, a chance for them to clear up some misconceptions about what they were doing. I didn’t know how they were going to spin robbing a bank and shaking down old ladies for cash as misconceptions, but that was part of the fun I guess.

It wasn’t really why I was here – I was hoping to squeeze them for office politics in the Ninth, and maybe get a little information on the local Families – but if this went well I was looking to get some great info for basically nothing, and if it went south…

Well, if it went south, then I’d get to see an Eversor NOT trying to break my legs for once. If this didn’t kill me, it could be pretty worth it just for that. And live footage always went over well with my readers…

The whole room took on a heavy air as we settled in. Two magical girls guarding the door, one sticking to Miki like glue as she started up her camera, and their leader, a tall, skeezy-looking girl in orange, leering down at me. More than anything, though, I was worried Miki was going to snap – her knuckles were pure white as she gripped the poor camcorder.

Me, I wasn’t nearly so nervous. I could rattle off these questions in my sleep. To start with, it was just smiling and feeding them what they wanted to hear – making sure Orange got to talk about what we’d arranged before, go on about organizational differences and red tape and hypocrisy and every other teenage excuse for doing stupid, selfish dumb crap, only with sparkly superpowers.

It was really hard not to yawn after only a couple of minutes of shallow justifications, and I could almost hear Miki’s teeth grinding from where I was sitting. …I was kind of impressed she was waiting for a signal or something. I mean, I had no idea what to tell her, but-

“Hey, reporter girl.” I felt a hand clamp down on one of my boobs and squeeze WAY too hard. “You getting this?” I pulled away from Orange – something or other Misuzu – and onto my feet.

“I’m pretty sure we’re good, actually? I can’t think of anything else I need from you guys.” I shot Misuzu my winningest smile as I started to tuck my phone away, but in a split-second she was on me, backing me up toward the wall with her hand squeezing my wrist uncomfortably tight.

“I don’t think so. I think I’ll fucking tell you when we’re ‘good’, and then we’re gonna-“

CRASH. The sound of a video camera being shattered to pieces filled the room, and Misuzu whipped her head back toward Miki. I had a feeling I knew what’d happened, but standing there gawping would have been stupid – instead, I tensed one leg, then yanked on the magical girl’s wrist as I leapt, planting my knee firmly in her gut.

She let me go and staggered back, but magical girls are never out of it for long, not without a lot more than that. But that wasn’t news or anything – I’d done this like a thousand times, probably. First, a gut shot…then, I slipped my stun gun out of my pocket and shoved it in her face.

Maybe it was cruel to go for the face, but you don’t really have the luxury of going easy on sparkles. Her whole body twitched violently as 6.8 million volts of electric truth pulsed through her body. As I held it on her – guided her to the ground with it, almost - I glanced to the side, where Miki had been before, only to see her unlucky guard sort of slumping, trying to dizzily maneuver her head out of the wall. Along with pieces of my camera, everywhere.

That’s why I didn’t give her any real equipment. I didn’t even tell her it was basically crap! I was so going to yell at her after this. I’d probably even dock her pay. Having lackeys – even temporary ones – was kinda fun, actually.

The magical girl at my feet groaned, reminding me that she’d probably need a little more than a lengthy taser shot to stay out. So I kicked her in the head. Like, as hard as I could. A boot, the kind you’d probably really worry would kill somebody.

She’d probably be fine.

Miki was already dealing with the other two girls in a flurry of white and silver, but it didn’t seem like it was going that well. One of them kept catching her sword with a nasty razor-lined chain whenever she’d try to swing, and the other had a short spear that didn’t seem to fit well in the room at all, but was more than enough to hold off Miki’s blows as she crept around to get behind-

There was a thump as Miss Hole-in-the-wall hit the ground, then began to dazedly pull herself up. With a dash and a twist, though, I was in the air, and my knee connected hard with the side of her head, continuing smoothly into a pin as I, er, kinda landed on her neck. I rolled right to my feet and turned to give her a jolt for good measure.

…This was fast. It was tight, it wasn’t really where I worked well. I wasn’t a bad fighter if I had to do it, but there was no room to move here, and…well, it was four magical girls. I heard Spear moving, but I wasn’t quick enough. The world moved in slow motion as I whipped my head around again and the heavy spear flew toward my face.

…I heard a pop, as it jerked violently, slowing just enough for me to scramble away in time. A dive from Miki, I figured out a second later, as she grabbed for the spear’s shaft and nearly tore her arm out of her socket slowing it down. Flawlessly she followed up, the flat of her sword connecting with Spear’s nose as a bladed chain came down on her back and ripped at her cape. The chain came down on her again and again, but she struck at Spear over and over instead, blood smearing onto her polished sword as she struck over and over.

…It was pretty exciting. I kind of wished I had popcorn – it wasn’t like I had any business in a brawl like that, so…I mean, that’s not totally cold, right?

The moment she struck her final blow, the chain looped around her neck instead, and blood poured as it cut into her, her eyes bulging as the last magical girl standing tried to choke her out. Or cut her head off. I wasn’t totally sure. My head raced as I tried to think of what to do. The taser? The spear? The…the nightstand? By the time I’d even come up with a plan, though, Miki had already acted, driving her sword back into her attacker and…

…and twisting, the moment of panic replaced with a cold fury, even as her throat bled. The girl behind her screamed In pain, her face blanching as Miki’s sword started to open up an even bigger hole in her abdomen.

…I covered my mouth and turned away.

---

The two of us sat awkwardly on the bed. Her neck had already healed in the few minutes since the fight, and she’d laid out all four of the other magical girls neatly, using her cape to dress the gaping stomach wound she’d left. Backup was on its way, supposedly. Or at least, a cleanup crew.

“So…”

“QB Heavy Industries is going to review your recordings of tonight.” She answered my question before I could ask it. “If possible, we don’t want to lose these girls. They…they aren’t bad people. I’m sure they’re not.. If there’s something we can do on our end so they don’t feel like they have to do this…” The stony professional seemed to have melted away, just a little bit, and so did the little bitty hints of scared newbie. …She looked sad.

Just…sad.

“…Just take ‘em, I don’t even care anymore.” I flopped back on the bed to stare at the ceiling instead. It wasn’t exactly a lie or anything – they’d really had nothing interesting to tell me after all. And the smell of blood in here was…ugh. It was hard to keep myself from shaking. I didn’t actually do a very good job, I think.

I just wanted to get out and get this stupid night over with.

“…Thanks, NECO-san.”

“You’re paying for the camera you wrecked. But you did a good job, Sayapyon.”

The air grew tense again in an instant, and I wondered if maybe she’d seen one of the other girls waking up.

“...Sayapyon?” she asked me, quietly. I could barely hear her over the hum of the crappy lights.

“’Cause you have a face like a rabbit.” Old words, parroted because…Because they felt right, I guess. She kind of did have that look. It felt like something she’d pick up on.

Neither of us talked much for the rest of the evening. We didn’t even go out for dinner and a movie, after all. But I’d sort of made a friend. Kind of. And friends like Sayapyon…like Sayaka, those are friends you have for life.