brad spangler confession

After many delays in launching the new podcast I have been hoping to start, the last few days have been solely the result of procrastination from depression and anxiety. Then, this morning, my new Asus N550-J notebook PC failed to boot. Asus tech support recommends exchanging it through Amazon.
I think what I'm going to do immediately after making this post, though, is see about peaceably turning myself in to the Kansas City Police Department, confirming this confession, refusing any potential bond and facing accountability in court.
While there are lots of impersonal topics I can rationally discuss, the truth is that I have not been emotionally well for a long time, if ever.
During a particularly bad period in 2004, I molested my young daughter. I did not do so forcibly, but the betrayal of trust and resulting potential emotional fallout for her has weighed heavily on my conscience ever since, to the point of doubting my sanity and refusing to believe I had, or even could have, done such a thing.
While I believe justice ought to be handled as a matter of restitution to the victim rather than punishment, my declining physical health, apparently from myotonic dystrophy, means I probably don't have many years left to live in which attempts could be made at restitution. With the laptop going in for warranty exchange, worries about discovery of which web sites I had visited and further questions that might raise convinced me that facing the currently dominant accountability process, regardless of what's right or wrong with it, is the best thing I can do for my daughter.
I want to confirm that I am neither suicidal nor intent on harming anyone and am determined to surrender peacefully.
The things I have said here about recognition of my own psychological problems are in no way an attempt to excuse myself. I certainly don't expect forgiveness. Setting out on the difficult road ahead of me is just, I believe now, the right thing to do.
With widespread ongoing concerns about civil liberties, and especially in the wake of the recent tragic death of filmmaker David Crowley and his family (which is suspected by many to have been a political assassination) I have additionally felt a responsibility to my fellow activists to clarify and emphasize that my legal troubles are my own and not some sort of government setup.
Anyway, I'm weak and my legs hurt. Rather than walking all the way to the nearest police station, I'm going to head to the McDonalds in the vicinity of Linwood and Main to peacefully await the first uniformed police officers I encounter there. I am unarmed and no danger to anyone.