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Derpyous

Pat general stories

Jun 7th, 2013
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  1. >You are Pat and you are in Equestria
  2. >After a long day of eating fried chicken from the local popeyes you decided to go for a brisk walk
  3. >Somehow you ended up in Equestria
  4. >You are not a clever Pat
  5. >Though you are still smarter than the average pat, especially when it comes to picnic baskets
  6. >After a long time in magical lands, you decided that your favorite Pony was the one that reminded you most of home
  7. >She was a classy pony, her mane was well kept and she always had time for your incoherent ramblings
  8. >Most of all though, she was black
  9. >As black as the darkest night, you could only make out her teeth and eyes in the dark
  10. >She had a serious ghetto booty, her taste in music was strange but she could lay down some killer beats
  11. >Too bad she didn't enjoy stealing, but you couldn't have everything
  12. "Yo Octavia! Where all dem white ponies at?!"
  13. >Octavia just looks at you with a clouded look, one that betrayed the hidden knowledge that she was going to be NTR'd by the younger and more attractive white ghetto pony, Vinyl Scratch, "She's in the garden."
  14. "Bitch is gonna get layed right, like a railway sleeper!"
  15. >Today was a good day to be Pat
  16.  
  17. ****
  18.  
  19. >As Pat, you have a keen concern towards working out and keeping in good shape
  20. >You enjoy working out so you could flex you Adonis like body
  21. >Nothing like the feeling of your rippling muscles against the soft, supple flesh of the inhabitants of this magical land
  22. >Also, with your new found strength you could easily overpower anything that would stand against you
  23. >Today was a day just like any other, you were stood shirtless in the center of town flexing your perfectly formed body for all ponies to see
  24. >And their jealous gazes were more than enough to empower you like Emancipation
  25. >Your keen steely gaze catches sight of Scootaloo walking through town, her eyes cast down in obvious embarassment at your sexual form
  26. >You glide across the intervienting ground as though it did not even exist, ever graceful
  27. >You catch Scootaloo by the chin gently shifting her gaze to meet yours, her blush as easily self evident as her extended wings
  28. "Hello, Scootaloo"
  29. "Look at your wings."
  30. "Now back to me."
  31. "Now back at your wings."
  32. "Now back to me."
  33. "Sadly, your wings aren't prefectly formed examples of perfection."
  34. >You state with confidence, gently sliding a ghostly caress across her tense wings
  35.  
  36. "But if you stopped not having the big weiners they could belike this."
  37. "Look down, back up, where are you?"
  38. "You’re on a boat with the man your muscles could be like."
  39. >And indeed by some dark magic you two were on a beautiful yacht in the middle of a crystal blue ocean, the sea breeze casting romantic hopes through all those who could smell it.
  40. "What's in your hoof? Back at me. It’s a two tickets to the annual Royal Wonderbolts Air Show.
  41. >Yet again, in the hand that was not gently stroking those supple, dexterous fingers sensuously through Scootaloos feathers held two tickets to the Wonderbolts.
  42. "Look again. The tickets are now diamonds."
  43. >The tickets themselves melted away into an endless cascade of sparkling diamonds, each one more perfect than anything that would be possible without Pat
  44. "Anything is possible when you forget about not being able to fly!"
  45. >As you state this the diamonds give way to a riding crop, slowly rising almost impossibly out of the flowing diamond stream
  46. "I’m in a Scootaloo."
  47. >The reality of the world shifts as the words are uttered from lips of Pat
  48. >Scootaloo never had a better day in her life
  49.  
  50. ****
  51.  
  52. >"Come on Pat! You were the one that told me about this game!"
  53. >You, being Pat, and local athelete Rainbow Dash were down in the local fields on a makeshift B-ball court
  54. >It was your peoples native sport, jumping was in your blood
  55. >Your ancestry did claim to be directly decended from Charles Barkley himself
  56. "I-I don't know Dash, bad things happened the last time I did this."
  57. >Rainbow Dash just looks at you with distain, "Just dunk the ball already, Pat!"
  58. >Your mentor and savior LeBrons had said never to dunk, but you were a sucker for peer pressure
  59. >Leaping through the air, you bring the ball in a large arc overhead before smashing the ball down into the hoop
  60. >A dunk of truly immense power, just like the one that sent you to this place
  61. >Once the dust settled, the remenants of what was once the great Pony civilization could be seen to be burning for as far as you could see
  62. >Today was a Chaos Dunk day
  63.  
  64. ****
  65.  
  66. >As Princess of the Sun, you tended to live a busy and hectic schedule forever running from one task to the other, never being able to take any real time for yourself
  67. >However with all the new additions to the ruling ranks of your Rule, with the return of Luna and the recent addition of your faithful student Twilight Sparkle you had more time to yourself than you ever had in the last 1000 years
  68. >You had decided to try baking some bread, the servants in the palace never seemed to have any trouble and perhaps you could share some with your sister once it was done
  69. >It had been a fun experience mixing the dough, you did make a few 'fixes' here and there with your magic when you made a mistake
  70. >And now after an hour of pacing in front of the oven it is finally time to cast your royal gaze on the fruits of your labors
  71. >Reaching into the oven you draw forth your home made loaf, though as soon as you lay your eyes upon it you can see that something has gone terribly wrong
  72. >Your loaf, while it looks like a plain loaf of bread evenly browned all over, it had a horrific face carved into its side and worse it wore a hat
  73. >A black capped hat, with the large words upon its front in white letters saying "Top Pat"
  74. >The abominations swivels its eyes, affixing you in its nightmarish stare
  75. >As it focuses upon you, it vissage twists as words begin to tumble forth from its horrific lips, "Beneath the skin, we are already one."
  76. >You can only recoil in horror at the multiple tones held within its voice, speaking as if a chorus from the depths we saying these words
  77. >"Was it not your sins that mixed the bread? Even now the evil seed of what you've done, germinates within you."
  78. >It's all too much, summoning up all your magics, all your powers you strike out at this unholy loaf as to eradicate it from all existence
  79. >You can only watch as the loaf, engulfed in the blinding surge of power, smiles back at you leaving its twisted visage burned forever in your memory
  80. >Forever more, you will be haunted by the monsterous form of "Top Pat"
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