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BlackCitySkyline

Skit 04: Variations On The Phrase 'Chiaki Chases Pinky'

BlackCitySkyline
Aug 19th, 2013
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  1. http://i.imgur.com/d3N6jpb.png
  2.  
  3. Bartender Guide: The drink known as "Chiaki Chases Pinky" is a detective's, both shamus and police dick, favorite. The name and dry, bitter taste both sum up the occupation's reality: There will always be a Pinky to chase after. These ingredients and type of glass are needed to make a Chiaki Chases Pinky...
  4.  
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  6.  
  7. A Book Report: "I read the book, 'Chiaki Chases Pinky' by Proto de Culture, and found it highly enjoyable. The cultural references, which the author picked only the timeless references to ensure the countless generations to come could understand and enjoy them, were aptly placed. Each character was unique and lived on after you put down the book. The Yuri undertones and Noir mortifs were in the right amount, leaving you wanting more. The plot was unpredictable, unique, and original. The ending will grab you by the heart and bring tears to your eyes. I will not spoil you on it, it would dishonor the book and you.
  8. I suggest you read this wonderful book. Thank you."
  9.  
  10. Billy took a bow. No one clapped. No one coughed. The classroom was silent. Even the teacher stared at Billy, a vague hunch settling into his gut that Billy should be in the principal's office right now answering for this.
  11.  
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  13.  
  14. Chicken Soup For The Puella Magi's Soul: Chiaki chases Pinky. Why? Why chase after Pinky? What point is there for Chiaki to do this? Because, having a goal leads to a fulfilled life, and the harder that goal is, the more fulfilled you will be in the end when you achieve it. Don't agonize over your speciality. Everyone has that one thing they're really good at. Take Murderface, Vindicare of the incubator Kyubey of QB Heavy Industries, for example. Her speciality is killing things until they die, but she doesn't let that get her down. She's a professional, she gets the job done with no complaints added. Imagine Murderface saying she doesn't want to blow some punk's head off with a S&W revolver up close and personal; it's unimaginable!
  15.  
  16. Mami-san is a great example of shining puella magidom...
  17.  
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  19.  
  20. Cyberpunk: Trillions of 1's and 0's, terrabytes of data, all of it infected. There was no evil in the databanks, but there was a virus-worm hybrid going by the name of Pinky.exe in it, and that was just as bad. She was ready mentally with the required knowledge and program to track and defeat Pinky.exe. Hooking her visor to the laptop, she slipped her gauntlets on, then her visor. The Netoverse bloomed before her in polygons and artifacts. The settings cleared, all became seeable.
  21.  
  22. She took a deep breath. It was time for SUPA-HACKA Chiaki Matsuda to chase down the Pinky.exe virus-worm.
  23.  
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  25.  
  26. Dystopic: "MY WORD IS LAW!" flashed in neon orange tubes. Chiaki looked past her grungy hood, past her cracked glasses and nagging despair to stare at the poster on the decomposing brick wall. A stern face looked down at her, her black eyes judging, as if alive. Pink hair tied into twintails with blood trails. A tear formed. She used to love that girl before she changed. Before she went insane with all that grief her wish gave her. Chiaki clenched her jaw.
  27.  
  28. Fucking QB, he'll got his soon enough. After him: Pinky. This evil system will be toppled, she declared, glaring at her former love, with her own hands, even if she were to be killed in the attempt.
  29.  
  30. "Criminal scum." Chiaki jumped at the hateful, gravel voice. She examined her surroundings. There, three Thought Ordinators neared her brandishing their ebony maces. She had to run. Now. Taking her hands out of her hoodie, she pumped her legs out of there. The three followed. Barrel fires stood unattended - there was only one reason to run, and the previous tenants wanted none of the attention.
  31.  
  32. Pinky's Thought Ordinators chased Criminal Scum Chiaki Matsuda down the dirty, deserted street.
  33.  
  34. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  35.  
  36. Medical Thriller: "I am sorry, Matsuda-san, but you have CPS." The doctor told her with his hands folded on the desk in front of him. Chiaki blinked.
  37.  
  38. "CPS?" The doctor nodded.
  39.  
  40. "Chase Pinky Syndrome. Now, Matsuda-san, you can still live a normal life with this rare disorder. Only nineteen others have it and they lead normal, healthy, satisfying lives."
  41.  
  42. Chiaki knitted her brows, bit her lower lip, and expressed her confusion and concern. "But, Doctor-sama, what are the symptoms? How am I impacted with CPS?" The doctor leaned back, holding a sheet of paper, his eyes reading it as he spoke the words.
  43.  
  44. "A hallucination of a pink haired girl with black eyes and pink teeth will appear before you and interact with you and offer you various golden weapons. She will become the focal point of your life; you will constantly think, worry, and interact with her. You can combat this with a prescription of painkillers." His eyes darted up from the paper to Chiaki. A pink haired girl with black eyes and pink teeth manifested in the air behind him. Like a cheshire cat, she held a gold deagle to his head and stroked the trigger like a cock about to blow. Chiaki's eyes widened.
  45.  
  46. "Uh, Doctor-sama, can I have the pills now...?"
  47.  
  48. "Do you see her?" She merely nodded, unable to find her voice, eyes glued to the apparition offering her the gun with the nodding of her head and a hand waving her on. The doctor connected two and two.
  49.  
  50. "Let me write up the prescription..."
  51.  
  52. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  53.  
  54. A Picture Book: [The cover image: Chiaki Matsuda chasing down Pinky, guns ablazing. The title is "Chiaki Chases Pinky"]
  55.  
  56. [First image: exactly like the cover but minus the title words.] Chiaki chases Pinky.
  57.  
  58. [Second image: Pinky running with speed lines behind her feet.] Run Pinky Run! Watch Pinky Run! See how she runs.
  59.  
  60. [Third image: Chiaki standing, question marks haloing her head.] Where is Pinky?
  61.  
  62. [Fourth to Seventh images: Many Chiaki's searching house, yard, and neighborhood.] Is she inside your house, on your couch? No. Is she in your yard, on the swing set? No. Is she prowling the neighborhood, visiting your friends? No.
  63.  
  64. [Eighth image: Chiaki standing, question marks haloing her head. This time a pair of white gloved hands hover behind her shoulders.] Where is Pinky?
  65.  
  66. [Final image: Pinky pops her head out from behind Chiaki, shoulders tightly gripped. Black eyes with a slasher smile of red teeth like a cut throat. Chiaki is horrified.] She is right behind you!
  67.  
  68. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  69.  
  70. Romance: Chiaki turned away from Faust. "We can't continue like this... it's wrong. Ever since Madoka..." Her gaze was on the floor below her.
  71.  
  72. "'Can't continue like this, it's wrong?' Is our love so wrong?" Faust's legs came into view after her voice bounded in the air. They... looked exactly like Madoka's legs, plaid skirt and white stockings with those brown clogs. Chiaki teared up.
  73.  
  74. "Y-yes, it is... Madoka's dead, and you look exactly like her... It's necrophilia on my part. We have to end this now..." Faust tilted Chiaki's head, her smiling face greeting her. "I'm dead, too, Homura-chan. I'm dead, I'm Madoka, and I love you. I'd also be happy if you were dead, too." Both smiled at the other, tears streaking down their cheeks as Faust's hand pierced Chiaki's chest, cold hand clutching her warm, still beating heart, and ripping it out. Blood exploded from Chiaki's nose, mouth, and eyes.
  75.  
  76. "I love you," Chiaki's eyes shone all the timelines she's been in, and they looked tired; dead tired. However, she still smiled.
  77. "I know," Faust's eyes twinkled gold. She was happy now that the two could spend an eternity together, til death do we part taking no place between them.
  78.  
  79. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  80.  
  81. Self-Help: Chiaki Chases Pinky, a pointless endeavor representing life and the fish bowl we all inhabit. However, I have learned of a way that can set us free. By cutting up all the fish and making a pizza with them, we all will enjoy the flesh of fallen fishes!
  82.  
  83. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  84.  
  85. Superhero Graphic Novel Synopsis: Chiaki Matsuda's secret identity is... Khronos Bardus! Wielding mythical control over Time itself, she continuously battles it out with her archnemesis, Pinky the Faustinator, dealer of rigged deals, seller of soiled souls, and sultan of swing.
  86.  
  87. Last issue Pinky managed to steal Khronos Bardus' Heart of Time Dilation, a device that allowed Khronos to travel back in time. Pinky goes back in time, to the past, to when Khronos Bardus was just starting out, with a cloying, clawing present-time Khronos Bardus on her.
  88.  
  89. Now, Khronos must protect her younger self without her finding out, and defeat Pinky before she erases her from history.
  90.  
  91. Read it all in glorious, gritty black & white in this issue, #3, of Shattered Timelines!
  92.  
  93. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  94.  
  95. Far Too Much Noir: Chiaki held a fist sized hole in her chest. Her heart was broken, ripped, sundered, schismed, taken by Pinky Punchinello, an infamous Italian mobster, and the two shared bad blood; her's. All that kept her on the chase, fate smacking her in the face like ice bullets, was a candle of vengeance, weak and flittering, burning bright to douse Pinky in the flames of Hindenburg.
  96.  
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  98.  
  99. A Weather Report: ... and on Thursday there will be a low Chiaki front coming in from the east, which should chase out the local Pinky pressure, but there is a chance the two will clash. If that happens, expect heavy downfall of rain and snow with the occasional thunder and lightning. On friday...
  100.  
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  102.  
  103. XXX: Pinky chased Chiaki to climax with her tongue, the pink muscle slicking the other's inner sanctum with her tainted siliva. Chiaki moaned lewd, her hands on top of Pinky's head, her fingers curled in her hair, gripping it in her motions. Her small breasts heaved and leveled out in sharp-inhale-moan. Her heart thundered inside its boney cage, her entire self vibrating just like Pinky's tongue. She was nearing, edging, Pinky knew.
  104. Withdrawing her tongue and backing off a little, with Chiaki throwing a confused glance her way, Pinky extended two fingers into the girl's sopping wet pot, retasking her tongue on the clitoris.
  105. Chiaki made lewd sounds and noises anew, her bucking motions needy against insanity's thrusting, working fingers and lapping tongue. Nearing. Nearing. Nearing. Over the edge. Chiaki tensed, her heart a humming bird, as an earth-shattering orgasm overwhelmed her, leaving her breathless.
  106.  
  107. Pinky drank her in, loving every bit of it.
  108.  
  109. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  110.  
  111. Young Adults: The werewolf known as Chiaki chased her sworn enemy, Vampyre Pinky. Using her smoldering eyes, she had seduced Chiaki and stolen her heart to create a forbidden race of Hybrids. The world will shake in fear at their sparkling power.
  112.  
  113. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  114.  
  115. Magical Girl Noir Quest: The Movie Trailer
  116.  
  117. Chikuwa Sign was just an ordinary schoolgirl -
  118.  
  119. "I don't know what's going on!"
  120.  
  121. But one day she's saved by two oddly dressed girls -
  122.  
  123. "Wh-who are you two?" "Yo, Murderface! Who's the doll?"
  124.  
  125. And learns an awful truth.
  126.  
  127. "We're Magical Girls! We're here to stop Thumbs from killing everything."
  128.  
  129. "Th-Thumbs?"
  130.  
  131. "She's my responsibility..."
  132.  
  133. In a world gone mad, Chikuwa Sign will learn that nothing is sacred -
  134.  
  135. "Let's hold hands, Midori!"
  136.  
  137. No one can be considered a friend -
  138.  
  139. "Kharn, you've betrayed us all!"
  140.  
  141. "Da, Comrade Murderface, da."
  142.  
  143. It's darkest before the dawn -
  144.  
  145. "Thumbs has given the Yellow Eagle to Murderface! She's gone insane!"
  146.  
  147. "HEHEHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!! Kill... Kill... Kill... Kill..."
  148.  
  149. "We're doomed."
  150.  
  151. And that she's the only one with the ability to stop the end before it's too late.
  152.  
  153. "Thumbs! It's time to end this, once and for all!"
  154.  
  155. "Go to Hell, Chikuwa Sign!"
  156.  
  157. "After you." [SFX: Shotgun cocking]
  158.  
  159. COMING TO THEATERS THIS WINTER, 2012.
  160.  
  161. "CHIIIKUWAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
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