Overabundance of Katherines Chapter Three

Chapter Three:

	“Katherine!” I yelled out in front of the school grounds, right before school was to start. I quickly had to press my hand up to my face and push it further and further until the embarrassment truly sank in. Every. Single. Person. Looked. In. My. Direction. Why would I forget something so simple? This is the very reason why we're all in trouble and yet I would forgot such a simple thing.
	“Um. No. Guys. You're mistaken...um...I didn't mean to get everyone's attention, really! Sorry, my mouth kinda says words sometimes! It's a symptom of my illness.” Was my desperate plea in my desperate attempt to not embarrass myself further. Oh. Yeah. That worked out so well. Proceed to plant hand to face.
	It didn't matter. The other Katherines walked up the stairs to the school and went inside to gather to their classes. I'm pretty, but not 100% sure, that some of the Katherines called me a weirdo. Maybe even thought I was one. Me? A weirdo? Can you believe that? Can you?
	I sighed. I was about to slowly walk up the stairs as well when I saw exactly the person I was looking for. The female Katherine.
	“Oh my grease! It's Bucket! Come on, let's walk to lunch together!” She was, of course, referring to me when she said 'Bucket'. Which was not my name. She was also referring to lunch class when she said 'let's walk to lunch together'.
	“I've got a different idea,” I softly told her, shifting my eyes. “Let's ditch school. Go somewhere more discreet.”
	“Ooh, Bucket, you're such a rebel!” She cooed, making a seemingly sarcastic swooning motion.

	This female Katherine and I walked off away from the school, her yapping away as I tried to think about where we would go.
	“You know, it's so good that we're going out somewhere! And here I thought that you were going to be awkward forever! Now look! You're nearly a full fledged greaser!” She was ecstatic, jumping up and down while talking. There was so much wrong with her statement, no, her excitement, but I was not in position to correct her. Actually, in all truth, I was in full position to correct her, but I didn't feel like exhausting my breath.
	 “By the way, I told my parents about you! They totally know everything about you! Well, not really! I don't know anything about you! That's okay, though, because you don't know anything about me!” She was actually mostly correct this time. Except I knew a few things about her. Even a few things about her that she did not know about her.
	“Actually...I bet I know your name,” I told her slyly.
	She gasped. She really was easily excitable. That, or everything she says and does is sarcastic. Which, really, in a weird sense, she could be completely sincere as well as completely sarcastic. It was hard to tell with someone like that. Someone who throws paper balls.
	“I don't want you to guess,” She growled. “My name is Kat.” She stuck out her tongue and grinned.
	“Let me guess, it's short for Katherine?”
	“How did you know?” She said as she gasped again. Okay, this time I could tell she was being sarcastic.
	“Are you, like, psychic or something?” She gasped for what would have been the third time. I wondered if she had breathing problems or if she just liked gasping.
	I shook my head. Of course I'm not psychic. I just have extensive knowledge which I hope to use to the benefit of the human race and SAVE YOU FOOLS from extinction. Unfortunately, I don't know whose eyes are watching and whose ears are listening so I can't say everything unless I know the place is a little more safe. This girl has no idea what I am about to get her into. Bless her, I hope she can handle it. I hope the revelation doesn't cause her to lose her mind. To lapse into psychosis. I hope I don't induce insanity in a Katherine. Please, give me more time.
	“Kidding, kidding! It's a given that 99.999999999% of everyone is a Katherine!”  She chuckled. “You're really gullible, you know that? I can't believe you thought I was that shocked.”
	“I'm not a Katherine,” I blurted out. Wait. That was a bad idea. “Um...never mind I said that!”
	Her face looked blank. As if she had just heard a dirty joke. Or if she was the subject of a dirty joke. Then she opened her mouth and...
	“Dude. That's not shocking either. 99.999999999% is not 100%. Everyone knows that! There's always going to be a few people running around who's not a Katherine. More power to ya, man!” Well, that was more well received than I had anticipated. There was hope yet for this world. Of course there was hope. This world has me, Mat. And as long as I, Mat, is around, I shall protect this world with my knowledge and cunning ability to bring the truth to light. Or else...
	“So...” my voice trailed off. I completely forgot that we were supposed to be going somewhere. In fact, I completely forgot about any places to go in mind.
	“Oh, come on, Bucket, don't go back to awkward! Be cool, yo! Get with it, dawg!” She lightly slapped my elbow and laughed maniacally.
	“No, it's not that. And hey! I'm NOT awkward! People just don't understand me. That does NOT make me awkward. You got that? It is you KATHERINES who are awkward, not I!” I declared in a louder fashion than I probably needed to declare in.
	“Okay, okay. So, you gonna get on with it or continue to awkwardly declare that you are, in fact, not awkward?”
	I muttered under my breath, “still not awkward”. Kat looked over at me with a stern expression, then said, “What was that?”
	I cleared my throat. “Ahem. I said 'we still need some place to talk rather than continue to walk around aimlessly''”. Yes. And who else but Kat could help me find such a place? I may have just found the perfect ally to have ever existed.
	“Oh! That's easy! There's this really awesome diner! All my greaser friends hang out there! Plus I'm good friends with the cook!”
	I sighed and grumbled and growled and my stomach joined in and growled as well. I didn't like that idea, but my stomach seemed to have a high approval rating for that idea. In other words, I was really hungry. I could use some food. Hell, if Kat and I are going to be skipping school to discuss serious matters, we may as well do it where there's food. That only makes...You know what? That makes no sense! But you know what else? I am hungry and I don't care. We're getting food.
	“Alright. Fine. Where is this 'diner' in which you speak of?” I questioned and demanded, trying my hardest to sound serious.
	“Oh, that's easy, it's right over there!” She pointed with her thumb over yonder. I am not good with describing how to get places in text, so let's just say that it was over yonder. I grabbed her hand and ran over yonder to where this so called 'diner' was.

	She didn't tell me beforehand that restaurants cost money to eat there. I was flabbergasted. Completely in shock. It was a complete outrage. A travesty, I tell you! I tell you what, when I reveal the truth to the world, they will want to give me free food for life! Why must I pay to eat food?
	Anyway, I had money. So I sighed and ordered some burgers and pancakes. Kat, being a growing girl, ordered some waffles and ice cream with gravy on top. The food was in the process of being cooked. Now was my chance.
	“Alright, listen up Katherine, what I am about to tell you is very important. I need your FULL attention. You got that?” I asked her in a very demanding tone just as we were sitting down and sipping on root beer floats.
	“It can't be that important, can it? I mean, we are only freshmen in high school, aren't we?”
	I quietly slammed my head into the table. That fool. Yes. We are freshmen in high school. We are somewhere in the age range of 14 and 16 years old. But that did not matter. No, it did not. Because we were going to make a difference in the lives of everyone on earth. We were going to shatter the foundation of this ill wrought society. Bring an end to oppression. We could do it and we would do it. She just had to think bigger, think of the bigger picture. And maybe, just maybe, she would rise up as well, and together, we would...
	...Hold that thought. My burgers and pancakes just arrived and they look delicious.
	“Teenagers can do great things when we put our minds to it!” I told her while munching on my burger.
	“Alright, do go o..hold up. I think those are my waffles!” I looked over and indeed, the waiter had brought over Kat's waffles. “Those ARE my waffles!” She cheered.
	“Alright. So what made you change your mind and become a greaser after all?” She asked while munching on her ice cream, waffles, and gravy.
	“I don't want to be a greaser. If you would just let me finish, I might tell you what I want and need to tell you.”
	She blushed.
	“No! Do not get any ideas! Look, the fate of modern civilization rests in our hands! You need to learn the truth! Many people need to learn the truth! Something sinister is going on, I tell you! You cannot trust the government or its scientists or anyone else for that matter! Foul things are afoot!”
	She burst into laughter.
	“What's so funny? Is this a joke?” I furled my brow and was very disappointed in her laughter.
	“You said 'foot'!” She cried out and laughed again.
	I didn't get what was so funny about the word foot, but it must have been quite funny. She was laughing while eating her waffles. Laughing while eating her ice cream with gravy on top. Laughing and laughing as if it was the only thing she could do anymore. My confusion was undermined by the very fact that when it came down to it, I was more annoyed. I needed to get this out of the way, but she just was not taking me seriously. I was getting angered, feeling irritated, annoyed. I was growing in temperament and I did not like to grow in that.
	“DAMN IT, KATHERINE! LISTEN TO ME!” I yelled out in such an audio that it could have shattered the glass of the diner windows had I been just a few decibels louder. The whole bar turned to look at me, including the cook, whose name on his name tag just happened to be 'Katherine'.
	I slammed my hand deep into my face. Of course. I forgot. Everyone in here but me was named Katherine.
	“Um..did you want all of our attentions?” One male Katherine with a bowler mustache asked in a timid voice.
	“Sorry, I was actually just talking to my friend here, and I didn't mean to yell, really. So sorry.”
	“Young love,” someone muttered. I heard that. But what could I do? Tell them that we weren't in love. Or at least, I wasn't. Well, yes. I could. But I had already exhausted my breath causing a scene in Kat's favorite diner. I wasn't going to correct anyone at this time.
	I leaned in and whispered to Kat. “You know, dear, er, I mean, Kat, the food here's really good, but I think we ought to talk about this somewhere more private. If you know what I mean.”
	She blushed. Goddammit. Please. I don't need this.
	“Same time tomorrow?” She asked.
	“Yes, but at my place. The Mat cave.”
	“I'll just call it the 'land of Caves and Buckets' if that's okay with you.” She giggled.
	“Okay. Whatever.” I groaned.