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Jumpchain Compliant CYOA

Generic Parenting Jump

Welcome to...erm, where is this, actually? At first glance, it's an ordinary neighborhood, but the entirety of the scenery ripples around you like water. The usual fanfare and exposition your benefactor would give you seems to be late this time around. After a few moments of confusion and silence, your benefactor appears, and they have something with them.

Or rather, someone.

"So. Guess what you'll be doing this time around."

That's right, Jumper. This time your adventure is in the world of parenting. You will be spending however long it takes for your new ward to achieve adulthood and move onto the world on their own, and it will be your job to teach them how to do it. How long will that be? Well, that's up to you:

Infant [+200]: Your charge is a mere 1d8 months old. This will make your stay here the longest, but raising a child from the very beginning makes for a complete parenting experience, doesn't it? Hope you don't mind changing diapers.

Toddler [+100]: A step up from infant, your child is 1+1d4 years old. They're already starting to speak their first words and can walk on two legs long enough without losing their balance. This is also when it's time to start actually educating them, so be ready for that.

Child [+0, Default]: Your child is 5+1d6 years old and can already walk and talk like someone their age should be able to. They're able to read and write at a very basic level and are beginning to form an actual personality.

Teen [-200]: Your child is already 12+1d4 years old and are likely in the beginning or middle of pueberty. This means hormones, mood swings, and interest in the opposite (or not) sex. You'll not only have to deal with The Talk but keep up the parenting even through the inevitable rebellious phase. Still, they're well on their way to adulthood, and your stay here will be shortest in this mode.

As usual, you start with +1000 choice points, with the values above either adding or taking away from that total. Those won't count for your drawback limit, by the way.

Their gender is determined by a 1d4 roll, with 1-2 being male, or 3-4 being female. You can spend 100 points to determine this yourself, along with any age within the range of the choice you made above.

You will be within this jump until your ward turns 18 and is fully ready to face the world on their own as an adult, whichever comes last. The jump will be considered a failure if they die, are traumatized or damaged to the point of being nonfunctional, or utterly hate you by the time they are an adult. Any active force that would render your child incapable of hating you also counts as rending them traumatized into nonfunctionality. If you want to brainwash them, you'll have to do it by long term care, not druge, torture, or exotic powers. This isn't 'I hate you mum/dad and I'm going to listen to loud metal music and rebel whenever possible' hate, but 'I want to kill you in your sleep and forget I ever knew someone like you' levels of hate. So try not to reach that point, alright?

Hm? Are they your actual child, you ask? Well, take a look...

Adopted [Free] - Nope! It's not your child, just someone orphaned and in need of care. They're an ordinary child from this world (which might not be so ordinary depending on what you choose later).

Jumper Jr. [Free/200] - Congratulations, Jumper, you're a parent! This child is biologically yours, whether through my power, a cloning chamber or...well, you know. They will inherit all hereditary traits you have and your Bodymod traits for free....but as a consequence, the ‘Out of Control’ drawback will be taken unless you spend 200 points for it. See the drawback in question for details.

Backgrounds:

Drop-In:
You just appear in your new location without anything except your new ward, whatever you purchased, and whatever you had beforehand. I hope you have an idea of what you're doing, because you and your charge have no new memories to give you an idea of what to expect. Assume the benefactor looked after them until now, giving them an uneventful life to this point.
+No new memories clouding your judgment
-No helpful early parenting memories, either.
-Your ward, depending on their age, might not be immediately accepting of their sudden new parent. This goes double if they're Adopted.

Caring:
You remember holding your newborn child in your arms, and seeing them smile for the first time was the brightest memory you've had in such a long time. You've dedicated yourself to making sure they are raised with a lot of affection, and just enough sternness to prepare them for the world. You can be a little overbearing and clingy at time, but ultimately, you want what's best for them.
+You are more compassionate and empathatic, and have lived peacefully to this point.
+Your ward likely has happy memories of their early life or childhood.
-Your doting nature might have also spoiled them. How much and how badly will depend on this point on.
-Dealing with them as a teenager might be more difficult since they're used to you being so passive.

Disciplinarian:
You know full well by now it is a harsh and unforgiving world out there, and you've either brought or carried a child into it. You need to prepare them for what life will inevitably throw at them, one way or another. 'Tough love' is your method to get them there, and while you're strict and harsh about it, your ultimate goal is to make sure they're strong enough to survive on their own.
+You have your priorities in order and know how to teach your ward how to survive and thrive on their own.
+You know how to make your lessons for them memorable, and do so in a way that isn't unnecessarily cruel.
-They probably don't have very happy memories of you. If any.
-While they may ultimately appreciate what you teach them in the long run, it will be very difficult to make your ward enjoy being around you.

Teacher:
You don't really think of yourself as a full 'parent' per se. Rather, you see your new ward as someone to be taught and raised properly without all the dross and drama that comes with a 'real' family. You strike a middle ground between the Caring and Disciplinarian parent, being just strict enough to be fair, and being just kind enough that it means something when you raise your voice. You're dedicated to making sure your ward inherits the skills and mindset they need to make it in the world, and nothing will make you prouder than them taking all you teach them in stride.
+You strike a stable balance when it comes to raising a kid.
+/- They'll see you less as a parent and more of a friend or mentor. This can be a good and a bad thing.
- You may come off as distant or eccentric
- They're bound to complain about some of your lessons and training.

You can freely choose your own age and gender for this jump, though it’s reccomended you’re at least 10 years older than your ward.

You will be in a world similar to your homeworld, or at least 21st Century Earth, though it won’t be identical. Different people, different places, and so on. Roll 1d8 for your location. You can spend 100 points to choose where you end up.
1. A cozy suburban area.
2. A rural farmland, complete with a deed in your name.
3. A residential district in a big city.
4. A small fishing town.
5. An advanced and industrial city.
6. A quaint and distant little village.
7. The middle of some run-down slums.
8. Lucky you. Choose any location that can reasonably exist in 21st Century Earth, or an imported setting if you chose it. I don't reccomend choosing a dangerous location, like Armageddon in 40k or Gotham in DC, etc.

Perks and Abilities: (All perks that match the Jumper's chosen background receive a discount, and the 100 point perks for free.)

[Drop-In]
Okay, This Is New [100] - Suddenly being a parent can be a little overwhelming, particularly if this news caught you by surprise. Luckily, you've picked up a little knack for adapting to things quickly. You can now react calmly to surprise or news that would normally shock you. It won't give you super reflexes or planning skills you didn't already have, but now you have enough stoic resolve to take a crisis in stride. This will be helpful around the first few times you have to change a diaper or get your child to stop crying, or having to explain to the police how they punched a hole in the school.

Because I Said So [100] - Do you really need any other explanation? Whether it's an emergency or you just need something done FAST, you can invoke this reason on your child (or a subordinate) to get them to it. If you need them to do a chore or an unusual task, this will compel them to accomplish the task quickly. This won't let you compel them to hurt themselves or do things they normally would be against, and will be refused in annoyance if you use it too many times. It's good for 'act first, ask questions later' situations, at least.

Trust Me, I Know [200] - You've been to many places, seen many interesting things...or maybe you're just good at bullshitting from what little you know. Either way, you can find a way to use your previous abilities and experience to teach unorthodox but helpful lessons to your child, often with a surprisingly clever metaphor. In jumps past this, you can convince anyone younger or less experienced than you that you're an expert at a particular topic. This won't last for long unless it's true, of course.

I've Seen This Before! [200] - While we're talking about experience, you're also good at recognizing telltale signs of danger or impending teenage angst. Just by looking over a person or a scene, you can deduce a rough idea of what's bothering them or something that's dangerously wrong with a particular location. You won't know how to fix a problem, but you're incredibly good at deducing what the problem is in the first place. It's a start, right?

It’s Just Me [400] – Though it will be a little rough to start with, eventually, your child will be used to your Jumper shenanigans. To them, it’s not a strange, eldritch alien with superpowers that’s raising them. It’s just Mum or Dad. Your child will more easily understand and accept any weirdness or strange powers associated with you, and past this jump, so will future friends and allies. This only applies to people who think favorably of you.

Just Like You! [400] – Well, well. It seems like your new ward is already starting to look up to you, and is even starting to emulate you a little. That may or may not be a good thing, but as a consequence, you now know how to look inspiring to others and become a personal hero to others just by doing what you do normally. Your child will also start to pick up little talents and tics that you have almost immediately.

Thicker Than Water [600] – It’s a big multiverse out there, and you’re aware it has its highs and its lows. That’s why you will protect those you love (or at least care about) during your travels through it. You can now sense when anyone you value is in impending or immediate physical danger, and know where they are the second this activates. Any actions you take to defend these precious people will be increasingly potent in competence and execution. This perk’s effects are threefold if you are defending your ward or family.

[Caring]
Gentle Hands [100] – Sometimes, a gentle touch is better than a raised voice or a closed fist. You know how to be soft-spoken without sounding weak, reassuring and easing those who listen to you. This isn’t a mental compulsion or a form of control – people just instinctively recognize you as a kind and careful caretaker when you want them to. You’re also very good at singing soft and quiet songs now.

Because I Love You [100] – It’s not just gentle words that’s important: it’s the meaning behind them. Whenever you mean well or try to help someone in any way, they will instrinctively recognize your honest heart, and your actions will mean all the more for it. Any acts of kindness, charity, or aid you give to someone without any hostile intent is magnified by this recognition, and those you look after will be all the more grateful for it. It won’t make someone prideful or hateful of you accept you, but they will know that you had no ill will in their heart – perhaps that infuriates them more?

A Slice of Home [200] – You’re far from a culinary expert, but you now have a talent and a knack for making food that warms the heart as well as the belly. You gain basic cooking skills and a talent for it that lets anyone who eats the tasty meal you prepare feel relaxed and at home. Your cooking will be remembered fondly, and it’s likely you’ll be a favorite at parties. For some reason, this perk doesn’t work very well in a restaurant or a professional environment...it’s missing that little touch of home.

Rest Your Head [200] – Whether it’s sickness or injury, everyone has a moment of weakness they need to rest and recover from. That’s why you’re here. You gain an understanding of simple but helpful home remedies and first aid that will help someone recovery or overcome sickness, and they will feel relaxed and at ease in your presence if you’re looking after them. Purposefully worsening their condition immediately nullifies this perk, but why on earth would you do that?

I’m Just Disappointed [400] – People may be used to your gentle and kind nature, and perhaps mistake you for being a pushover. That is definitely not true! You know how to give someone a stern, disappointed look, folding your arms and looking at them...well, disapprovingly. A look that says ‘I know you can do better than that’. Anyone who is personally close to you who sees this expression will feel ashamed or guilty of any wrongdoing they’ve done, and sheepishly confess to things they may have been hiding from you. Actually raising your voice or being harsh won’t yield much effect, but teaching someone a lesson using just words and a stern tone will actually have a much better impact than if you did. They just don’t want to let you down.

You Be Good, Now [400] – A pat on the head and a gentle reminder you’re there for someone can make all the difference in the world. You now have a sense of when those you care about are in need of or wanting a moment of kindness, and have an idea of the right words to say to them. In addition, you can make any such kind or positive words memorable enough that they’ll remain as an important lesson to the one you spoke to. It doesn’t guarantee they’ll act on it, but they will definitely remember you and your smile when they needed it most.

You Made Them Cry! [600] – Hunters and other animals often make the fatal mistake of trying to separate a Mama Bear from their cubs, or a Papa Wolf from their pups. It is a primal instinct to protect one’s young or juniors, and you’ve learned how to tap into this VERY effectively. Any time those you love are put into danger, your combat prowess and destructive power is greatly increased against those responsible. An ordinary human with this perk could defeat an entire room of armed men with nothing but kitchen appliances. In addition, you gain a firm control of your own anger and emotions, able to channel it into short bursts of competence or strength that act as a boost to your adrenaline. This perk ONLY applies to danger you yourself are not directly or indirectly responsible for...if you’ve endangered your own loved ones for a moment of power, all you will gain is disappointent and shame instead of righteous fury.

[Disciplinarian]
A Firm Grip [100] – The world is not a gentle or a kind place, and neither are you. You’ve mastered a look of stoic and stern authority, and can speak with a booming voice and look intimidating with very little effort. This aura of intimidation only applies to those who are your subordinates or students, but they’ll find themselves discouraged to misbehave in your presence.

I’m Not Angry [100] – Well, you might be, but you need to use it the right way. You can channel tiny hints of anger or annoyance into your words and your actions, using it as fuel for a task you’re acting on. You’ll find yourself surprisingly lucid and focused at what you’re doing, able to continue work or teach lessons without letting rage compel you. This will also make you look intimidating to anyone who watches you do so, as you meancingly prepare tea or fix your gadgets. This competence boost only applies to one task at a time, and makes it hard to focus on anything else. It also won’t let you do anything you’re already incapable of, just make you slightly -better- and -scarier- at a single thing.

For Your Own Good [200] – The future will hurt your charge worse than you ever can. That’s why you need to prepare them and teach them they won’t get any special treatment, from you or anyone else. Anyone who does is selling them something. You can cut through falsehood, lies, or innuendo with a simple, harsh statement of reality. This will erode baseless idealism or corrupting influences from the one you speak to. Those who are too far gone or too strong-willed wil shake this off, however.

Tough Love [200] – Your harsh and unrelenting attitude, instead of warding others way, is appreciated as a breath of fresh air. Your ward may dislike how tough your approach is, but they will eventually see the wisdom in your words and actions. People can see through your actions and understand your intent for what it is when you’re seemingly cruel or cutthroat, particularly when you’re actually teaching vaulable life lessons to those who witness you. It also means your actions will be tolerated so long as what is taught actually benefits those who see it. However, there is a limit to this – anything that will leave a permanent scar, physical or otherwise, on the chosen receiver of the lesson will not teach them anything but a good reason to despise you.

Make Me Proud [400] – Of course, it’s not ALL discipline or a mean look on your face. Those rare moments of genuine happiness or pride are all the more special to your ward, and they’ll be determined to find ways to bring it out of you. Anyone who you’re stern or strict towards will be be twice as driven to fulfilling any task you give them and with a boost in competence as well. So long as you show genuine approval to when they succeed, whether with a smile or a pat on the head, this will remain in effect. This only works on individuals you’re actually in charge of, and is kept by a balance – too much approval too quickly makes you look soft, too little will just make them exasperated towards trying to please you until they give up entirely.

Bonding By Fire [400] – No, that’s not ‘bonding by a fire’, that’s ‘bonding by fire’. Whether it’s teaching your ward how to fight, work with tools, or even jogging, you become an expert at passing down knowledge via physical activity. You can pass down any sort of athletic or physical style or technique to your ward with incredible effectiveness. This includes any abilities they have the potential for, whether from the world’s logic or your own genes. The downside (for them) is that this speed happens in proportion to how much you make their training as hellish and difficult as possible. To the point of risking permanent damage, which is a loss condition. Try not to push them too hard.

Do It For Them [600] – You don’t do all of this to make your ward miserable. You’re doing it because you want them to be ready, and you don’t want the world to hurt or lie to them as it may have done to you. This perk’s ability is twofold – you will understand when you are being too harsh or unforgiving to those you scold or act cruel towards, allowing you to backpedal from doing something you cannot take back. You also gain an incredible boost of willpower in the face of adversity or hardship – especially so if you are doing it for the sake of someone else.

[Teacher]
A Steady Hand [100] – If there’s a word to describe how you present yourself to others, it would be ‘reliable’. Anyone who looks at you will see someone who carries themselves with confidence and professionalism...even if it turns out you have no idea what you’re doing. You also gain one hell of a poker face as a consequence. Anyone who knows you or your skills well enough can spot when you’re faking it, though.

Leave It To Me! [100] – You’re an inspiring figure to your ward, or at least you have the potential to be. You have just the right demeanor to convince them to believe in the you who believes in them, sunglasses optional. You will find individuals, especially those younger than you, will be more prone to turning to you for advice or leadership. This doesn’t work on anyone who doesn’t know you or has reason to dislike you. Incidentally, this perk works best when trying to look like a ‘big sibling’ type of figure to someone.

Wax On, Wax Off [200] – Let’s face it, you’ve probably learned a lot of unconventional or at least difficult-to-teach things from your past experiences. Passing those down can be a real challenge...at least, until now. You can now use unconventional training to teach your ward or any student you have things they have the potential for, like waxing a fence or constantly taking a jacket on or off. This won’t actually be any FASTER than if you taught them normally, but it can definitely be a lot safer than handing a magic wand to them and hoping they don’t set the house on fire. As before, you can only teach things that are already POSSIBLE for them to do in the first place: No handing down unique things by making them clean your car. This perk is also effective at tricking people into doing your chores for you. I wonder why?

You Have Much To Learn [200] – You look like a weirdo. Whether or not it’s actually true, you probably come off as strange or at least unusual to those who witness you in your natural environment. You’ve learned how to manipulate this to your advantage: You can now make any strange or eccentric behavior to make yourself seem wise to those who witness you. Others will be mystified and seek to emulate you, even as you fall down a flight of stairs only to harmlessly stand back up. This will make it easier to convince others you’re someone worth taking lessons from you, though doing anything harmful or convincing someone to seriously hurt themselves will make this perk’s effect dissolve in a hurry.

Relax A Little [400] – You can seem a little intimidating or standoffish if you handle a situation wrong, or if you’re just bad at talking to people after a while. Depending on how long you’ve been jumping, this can turn into a real problem. Luckily, this gives you the ability to always be able to empathize with others, and how to make others who are weaker or younger than you feel comfortable around you. How? By just acting like a mentor or a senior figure, of course. Anyone you want to be friendly around who would normally be intimidated by you won’t be if you don’t want them to be, as a result. This perk, again, only works on people you’re on neutral-to-friendly terms with, and is useless if you’re trying to get someone to drop their guard for the purpose of harming them somehow.

I’ve Got This [400] – When things are tough and an enemy is at the gates (or just a bully at the door), you need to look tough. Not for yourself, but for those you protect. Whenever you stand against a foe or just someone trying to harm those you care about, those who look at you will be inspired and become incredibly resistant to fear and despair, magical or mundane, so long as you stand tall. You can lead an army into the mouth of hell...or just inspire your ward to overcome their own fears of the monster in the closet. This only works so long as you yourself are staring down and facing the enemy – retreating will make this effect fade.

Live To Win [600] – You know what the best thing about being a teacher is? It’s knowing that your knowledge and experience will be passed down, entrusted to the next generation. When you teach someone an ability or technique of yours, you also have a unique way of doing so that will also pass down your own experience and control. All the little techniques, all the tricks and stunts you’ve learned will always be included in what you pass down. This only applies to knowledge that you yourself already have and mastered – any obscure ability or untapped potential you’ve never made use of is invalid for this perk. You can also only teach one person at a time using this perk. As stated before, this perk only works on things your student CAN actually learn in the first place, and will take the same amount of time it would take for them to master the basics. The leap in experience will only occur once they’ve FINISHED mastering the basics, coming as a sudden epiphany where it all finally clicks together. Trying to split your teachings to different students will make this perk’s eventual snowball effect stop before it had a chance to begin.

[Gear]

‘Multiverse’s Best Mom/Dad’ Mug [Free for All] – It’s a mug with that particular bit of text inscribed onto it. Magically makes any coffee you drink out of it delicious, and helps inform people you’re a proud (or not) parent.

Parenting for Dummies [100, Free for Drop-In] – Animal instincts aside, not many people have any idea how to parent properly, and there’s a non-zero chance you don’t either. That’s okay, this benefactor-sponsored guide on parenting from infancy to adolescence will be here to help you out! The information gets increasingly inaccurate the further up the age bracket it goes, though...I’m sure you’ll figure it out. This book mostly applies to humans, though the information will adapt slightly if your ward isn’t human themselves.

Child-Proof Spray [100, Free for Drop-In] – You might have picked up a few dangerous items on your travels, a few of which are dangerous when used in the wrong hands. Like a curious child, for instance. Luckily, this little spray can will make things less dangerous. Shelves won’t be climbable, blades will be be harmlessly dull, and self-destruct buttons will be inert. This only lasts for two hours, and any device or weapon sprayed will not function at all during this time. This has about a small room’s worth of spray, and you get a new can each week. This will only work on things you or your companions own. Obviously, this doesn’t work if the item or object in question is a danger to YOU at that moment.

The Adventures of Jumper! [200, Discount for Drop-In] – Well, it looks like someone has made a child-friendly version of your past adventures! This colorful and likely whitewashed take on your travels is made to be a suitable bedtime story for your ward, and will update constantly from this jump onwards. Just...try to avoid letting them know what REALLY happened around the more disturbing or risque parts until they’re old enough. If your adventures have been extensive, this automatically splits into a series of books light enough for a small child to hold. Any adventures that can’t be possibly be made child-friendly will be omitted entirely.

Mementos of the Past [200, Discount for Drop-In] – A little piece of all your adventures will follow you from this point on. Simple, mundane things like model spaceships from Mass Effect, toy versions of weapons you’ve used before in DnD, or just small little things from your past adventures in general will now follow you. They will be contained within a box that will change its contents each time you open it, but it will always have something you will recognize and have a story to tell for. Good for when you want to tell tales of your past adventures but don’t want to haul something out of the Warehouse. The items will never be magical or have any properties the original did – they’re mementos, not tools or weapons.

Nanny-Bot 4000 [400, Discount for Drop-In] – Maybe you’re not really on board with this whole ‘parenting’ thing. Maybe you just can’t be around for your ward all the time. Maybe you just REALLY need a full night’s sleep before you deal with a crying child again. Either way, your plea has been heard – this robot is not fully sapient, but knows how to care for your child’s basic needs like diaper changes and meals, and will do so par excellence. It’s no replacement for an actual parent, though, so mind how much you rely on this robotic helper. Neglecting them for too long in favor of letting the robot do everything will almost certainly damage their psyche over time. You may import an AI or robot companion to this role, at which point they’re a companion instead of gear.

The Strongest Teddy Bear [400, Discount for Drop-In] It’s a huge, human-sized teddy bear. It’s fluffy, it’s cuddly, and designed to be the perfect companion to your ward. Its mere presence will ward away nightmares and help your ward grow up to be brave. When they’re too old to keep stuffed animals, the bear will instead turn into a literal full-grown bear that is absolutely loyal to them, and will always work to protect them from danger. The bear will be tame, thankfully. Should you take your ward as a companion, the pet will come along for free. It will get moody, violent, and depressed if ever separated from them, and will be more loyal to them than you. At least they’re in good hands, right? This can alternatively be any ordinary land mammal of your choosing.
Parenting for Jumpers [600, Discount for Drop-In] – OKAY, FINE. You want an actual, in-depth book on what to expect when YOU have a kid? Here it is. This book has one-hundred percent accurate information on what you’ll be in for when raising a kid. Particularly, the effects your Jumper nature and normal mannerisms will and may have on them. If the ward is genetic, you will also get in-depth information on what effect your possible mishmash of genetics and powers will have on them, and how to handle all of it instead of it becoming an unpleasant surprise down the line. This book updates constantly based on any more genetic properties or children you pick up. This also gives you a rough understanding of how using or mixing your DNA with others will affect someone, though not how to make it better or worse.

A Pink Apron [100, Free for Caring] – It’s a cozy, pink apron that will clean itself whenever it gets dirty. Also, regardless of what you use it for, nobody will ever mock you for your choice of attire while you wear it. How nice.

Music Box [100, Free for Caring] – A little music box that will play lullaby and piano versions of songs from previous jumps you’ve been within, or just generic lullabies in general that will be soothing to listen to. If you have any musical or background music perks, those are included automatically and changed to be appropraite for the music box when it’s in use.

Home Recipes [200, Discount for Caring] – You receive an easy-to-carry cookbook that has pages upon pages of simple-to-make meals you can use to feed yourself or a table of nine. The recipes are always homely and delicious when followed correctly, and the cookbook changes to adapt to any world you’re within automatically, though it may not actually tell you where to FIND unique ingredients. If you have any access to ingredients or food in your Warehouse or gear, the cookbook will include recipes for meals using them.

A Cozy Blanket [200, Discount for Caring] – It’s a blanket, made just for the right size for your ward. It will be warm and comfortable no matter how cold the room might be. It will also ensure a good night’s rest for anyone who sleeps within it. You will gain 9 more specially made blankets with the same properties for yourself and your companions once the jump is over. What? No, you can’t use this to stave off hypothermia or survive flaming temperatures. That’s silly. The blankets will have any design or color on them that you want, but it will default to anything you use as heraldry or a particular symbol often, so long as it’s child-friendly.

Hundred Acre Woods [400, Discount for Caring] Your backyard is endless... or so your child and their friends may think. You can designate a section of grass, pool, or any living area in your current home as the 'children's area' with these little red flags, and those playing games or entertaining themselves within this zone will never run out of room, nor will the area become any more dangerous than it is originally. Outsiders will just see those involved 'playing pretend'. This zone can only be as large as a simple back yard, however. The effect can be dispelled at will by either you or those within it, and will be completely harmless in and out of use. You cannot use this space to store anything, and any attempt to will make everything you shoved in it crash together violently once the effect ends...which happens automatically when your child or those within leave it. I don’t think I have to tell you why this is a bad idea.

THE MIGHTY ROOMBA [400, Discount for Caring] – You have acquired the mightiest Roomba in all the multiverse, Jumper! This Roomba will move about the house, cleaning up any mess it finds and restoring it to normal condition before anything broke, became dusty, or disturbed. It can’t repair unique or magical items, but anything mundane is within its ability to clean or fix. It will also never bump into anyone or try to ‘clean’ a poor living person. It can also hold up to five times its weight, so if you or your child want to ride on the Roomba or use it to carry something, you can. If destroyed, a new one will appear in your Warehouse the following week.

Hand Puppet Theatre [600, Discount for Caring] – Storytelling is a favorite passtime and teaching method for children, so why not have something just for the occasion? You acquire a wooden hand puppet theatre the size of a small booth, and hand puppet versions of every individual you’ve met in your travels contained within it, and you will always get the puppet versions of the people you happen to want at that instance. Any stories you tell to children will see the adventures in front of them as if they were happening, albeit adjusted to be child-friendly (blood splatters and fanservice aren’t terribly appropriate, after all) in visuals. Your storytelling and entertainment ability is also slightly boosted while you’re using the booth.

Infinite Supply of Diapers and Baby Powder [100, Free for Disciplinarian] – What? Don’t give me that look, this is a great starting item for the strict sort of parent. When you need to teach...erm...things you don’t have time for...aw, sod it. Either way, this is a constantly restocking supply of diapers  and powder for your ward, along with baby powder. Once they’re too old for it, this will instead give you age-appropriate clothes for them until they turn 12. Either of these sets of items will spawn post-jump should you ever need them again.

Sawed-off Shotgun [100, Free for Disciplinarian] – Exactly what it says. This is a mundane double-barrel shotgun that has been partially sawed off. Doesn’t actually come with any ammunition, but it’s great for intimidating anyone your ward happens to be dating in their teens.

Power Tools [200, Discount for Disciplinarian] – An entire toolbox full ordinary of electric power tools. Good for mechanical work, or just physical labor in general. If any are broken or destroyed, they will be replaced in your Warehouse the following week.

Weights [200, Discount for Disciplinarian] – A set of age-appropriate weights for lifting and exercise. They will automatically adjust to the right size of their user when touched, and can then be adjusted normally like ordinary weights can. Good for exercise or training.

Go The Fuck To Sleep [400, Discount for Disciplinarian] – A recording of actor Samuel L. Jackson reading a bedtime story, in which the reader tells their child to please go the fuck to sleep. This particular recording is potent enough to make anyone young or insomniac to go right to sleep, especially if they’re easily intimidated. This won’t work in a combat or stressful environment for several reasons. This can be changed to the voice of any existing actor on planet Earth, or any individual you’ve met and heard speak (or made any sort of noise) in general. Have a bedtime story read by a Tyranid!

The Birds and Bees [400, Discount for Disciplinarian] – A book on how human reproduction works, told in the bluntest and most traumatizing terms possible. The book will adjust to the reproduction of a particular species you happen to be reading to, but it will always be in the most deadpan fashion possible. Good for when you want to tell, in no uncertain terms, what sex is and how it works. In fact, it’s good for teaching any sort of basic life lesson in the most blunt fashion possible, if you just flip to the right page. This book will contain other relevant lessons for the individual told in the same fashion, and will always be helpful if horrifying in some fashion to the one you’re reading it to.

A Piece of Home [600, Discount for Disciplinarian] – Of course, being a strict parent isn’t all backbreaking labor or extremely traumatizing bedtime stories. It’s also being there for your ward when you need them most. And while this keepsake isn’t a perfect replacement for your presence, it’s fairly close. This small, hand-sized item has something that represents you...a picture, a locket with your heraldry, something that will remind them of you. They will remember what you’ve taught you, and happy or fond memories of you will be particularly vivid in their hands. This will give them a considerable boost to willpower and resistance to any corruption or negative influences, whether magical or not. Post-jump, you will acquire a similar keepsake that has the same effect...except you’ll be reminded of your child, instead.

Training Clothes [100, Free for Teacher] – Stored within a gym bag will be age-appropriate clothing for whatever training you happen to be doing. Will change to a gi for martial arts, will change to breathable athletic clothes for jogging, etc. The clothing will never become real armor, technological or anything supernatural, but it sure is convenient, no? You receive 8 copies of these clothes in the bag, and will be an ordinary set of t-shirt and pants outside of training.

The Infinite Notepad [100, Free for Teacher] – A notepad that will never run out of pages. You will also always flip to any page you’re looking for at that moment when you make the first attempt to. Attempting to rapidly write onto it using super-speed, anything like an electronic printer, or trying to cheat on a test using it will make the notepad catch fire and turn to ash, to be replaced with a blank copy the following week. This is meant for your ward, but...

Lecture Desk [200, Discount for Teacher] – It’s a very imposing-looking desk that’s adjusted to be your size. Just sitting in the desk will make others in the room recognize you as a teacher, and they will react appropriately (assuming they’re students). It also boosts your ability to teach and lecture so long as you sit at it, and you’ll find knowledge you pass down while sitting at it is easier to understand. Can be folded into a suitcase when you need to carry it elsewhere.

Practice Weapons [200, Discount for Teacher] – You acquire harmless, plastic and ordinary ‘nerf’ versions of weapons you own, how much and how many being up to you and how much space you want to use in your Warehouse. All of these are just as aerodynamic as their originals, but will harmlessly bounce off of their target regardless of velocity. Good for training or just playing Nerf with the kid and the companions. Explosive or incredibly destructive weapons are invalid for this: it’s nerf or nothing.

Health Snacks [400, Discount for Teacher] – Training and education can be tiring, so why not have some brain food handy? You acquire a box that will create both delicious and surprisingly nutritious foods appropriate to whatever age or species you’re giving the food to. It won’t do anything special besides being a good source of health snacks, but you’ll find no matter how much or how little you eat, it will never impede either training or studying – it will always help and never hurt. You can freely apply this property to any sort of food just by adding a tasteless spice the box comes with. Restocks every day.

A Punching Bag [400, Discount for Teacher] – Sometimes you just want to punch something. But is it hard enough for you to punch? Or soft enough, for that matter? Now, you have such a thing. This punching bag will always be just durable enough to be a challenge for the person hitting it, regardless of how strong or weak they are, making it an exercise tool that always scales with its user. It will even absorb collateral damage from shockwaves or other funny things that can happen when a superpowered individual tries to hit it, letting someone train with relative harmlessness. This only applies if you’re actually using it to train, however – using it as a shield or trying to use it for something else will have it function as an ordinary punching bag for a human. So it’ll pop like a balloon against things well above that. Thankfully, you get a new one to replace the old in the following week.

Portable Dojo [600, Discount for Teacher] – You don’t always have a house or time to make complicated gear for getting some education or training done. That’s why this thing exists. This 12x12 (in feet) foldable carpet, when opened and spread, will immediately materialize training equipment relevant to what you’re trying to teach to someone. Need a classroom? Instant chalkboard and desks. Need a jogging center? Instant battery-powered treadmills. For up to four hours at a time, you can use this create gear that can train any skill or ability your student is capable of. Note that any of these items will vanish from existence if you take them away from the carpet, and will never create any unique items that the Jumper couldn’t otherwise make themselves. Using it for anything except training or practice will result in everything on the carpet breaking down in a harmless but hilarious fashion. The carpet will ‘recharge’ for use again one hour after the first time it was used – taking breaks is important!

Companions:
I Have Two Jumpers! [Free, Optional] – Okay, not really. Don’t get too excited there. But maybe you already had an idea of a partner you wanted to raise this kid with. A mother, a father, or just a long-term babysitter. Either way, you can import a companion into the role for free, and everything in the jump – background and heredity included – will adjust appropriately. This also means they inherit the win/loss conditions, however...so if they hate their kid or vice-versa, consider your jumping days over. So don’t pick this perk without some appropriate warnings or someone you’re okay with raising a kid with. Thankfully, this only applies to this particular jump.

Uncles, Aunties, and Nannies [Free/200] – Now the rest of your companions can be part of the upbringing experience, too! You may import all 8 of your companions for free if you them. You may choose their backgrounds freely. However, you can instead spend 200 points to give all 8 of them 400 points to spend on their own perks. They cannot buy gear or their own companions, of course.

The Babysitter [100] – Pick a single character you were on good terms with in a previous jump. That character will be plucked from their time-frozen state for the purpose of watching over your ward when you happen to be away for any reason. Any abilities or items they have will be limited to only self-defense and protection of the ward, and they’ll otherwise be an ordinary person. They also won’t be carrying any unique items that you might be hoping to ‘borrow’, before you ask. May lead to hilarity or accidental trauma, depending on your choices. You can’t take them as a companion after this jump, however. If you weren’t friendly with ANYONE (why?) in previous jumps, a generic teenager will fill this role.

Family Pet [100] – You will gain a young version of a ordinary house pet, like a puppy or a kitten. They will instantly bond with your ward and be a constant companion for them. They’ll even come along for free if you take your ward as a companion without taking a slot. This means they’ll miss out on imports, though, unless you put them into an open slot. As a plus, this pet will never die of old age and will come back to life the following week if killed. They lose this ability if they gain their own companion slot.

Drawbacks:

Parenthood on its own isn’t hard enough for you, Jumper? Alright, here’s some ways to make it even harder. You have a limt of 600 points to gain from these.

Out of Control (+0, Mandatory for Jumper Jr.) - There’s a good chance that by now, your biology is a little messed up. You probably have some or many hereditary traits in your DNA that would be passed down to your child. Normally, you don’t have to worry about this because you have an omnipotent benefactor making sure everything ties together neatly. Your child doesn’t have this benefit. Once they’re old enough, at the onset of pueberty, they will randomly and spontaneously develop their powers, often in an explosive and dangerous fashion, one by one. They don’t have any of your resistances (outside of what the powers came with) or training as a natural consequence. It will be up to you to teaching them ALL the powers they would inherit from your genes...or they’ll get themselves and many others hurt. As stated before, you can avoid this fate for 200 points, giving them the resistances and just enough natural talent to prevent a major disaster...but surely you can handle that, can’t you jumper?

That’s Not How it Happened! [+0] – Do you already have a kid? Would you rather not be a parent or caretaker at all? Do you have a different idea of how the circumstances of this jump should go? Well, here you go. This jump can unfold one of two ways: Either one or two of your companions had a kid with the same mechanics you would, or you just import a kid you already had into the role. All win/loss conditions transfer accordingly – your jumper days will end if this doesn’t result in a happy family. You can’t import any companions to be your ward unless they were your biological offspring already.

You’re Not My Real Dad/Mom! [+100] – Rebellious streaks are already bad, but your ward in particular is a bad one. They’ll throw tempter tantrums, be defiant, and particularly moody when they’re teenagers. They probably still love or at least care for you deep down, but teaching them anything resembling discipline will be a true challenge.

I’M AN ELDARKIN! [+100] – One week after another, your child joins strange and very eccentric...erm, ‘lifestyles’. This will intensify around their teen years, and will make them a laughingstock in a hurry if you don’t get them to realize how silly they’re being. It will also make for very embarassing stories after this jump.

Fish? [+100] – Oh, dear. Your ward is something of a late bloomer when it comes to the brain thingies. They’re dim and slow to learn, and while they will grasp the basics of speaking properly and walking in a straight line, they’ll grow into a real ditz until the jump is over. Keep them away from spiders.

Not Again! [+200] – Your ward seems to be a very unlucky individual. A telephone pole nearly fell on them on the way to school, their homework was eaten by the neighbor’s dog, and they fell down a flight of stairs on their shoelaces...upwards. Your ward is unlucky and injury-prone, and it’ll be up to you to heal them or protect them. Well, moreso than usual.

The Summers Treatment [+200] – That’s...that may not be good. Somehow, whether from shared DNA or the whims of yours truly, your ward is completely immune to ALL your powers and perks, save for what you purchased here. Especially the things that would actually help. I hope you haven’t forgotten how to care for someone like a human would, Jumper...

You Leave Them Alone, Or Else... [+200] – Oh dear. When your ward turns 16, they become VERY popular with the opposite (or same) sex. This normally wouldn’t mean anything except a stern talk and making sure they don’t do anything stupid (or not), but now it’s a loss condition: If anyone gets too ‘intimate’ with your ward before they turn 18, you lose the jump. And they’ll be VERY curious about it all of a sudden, too. Oh, and if you have any harem perks before entering this jump? They inherit those at that age, too. Have fun.

What’s Thing Thing Do? [+200] – Your child is not any dumber, but they are amazingly a lot more curious. To the point of ignoring simple self-preservation instincts. I shouldn’t have to tell you why this is a bad thing.

Warehouse Key Jr. [+300] – Soooo, your ward asked me REAL nicely, so I decided to give them their own key to your Warehouse. They’ll be able to access it at any time the same way you can, along with everything inside. Oh, and the key will always come back to them when you take it away, too. Don’t worry, I’ll take it back once the jump’s over. It’s not that big a deal, right?

Broken Pedestal [+300] – It’s easy to make a good first impression when you raise someone early on. Not anymore. As one long, vivid, lucid nightmare, your ward will see all your worst actions and sins over the course of a single week once they’re old enough to comprehend it. They won’t hate you if you did nothing unforgivable...but they will never look at you the same way again, and may never believe in you ever again. Is this worth the points, Jumper?

The Littlest Psychopath [+300] – Oooooh, dear. Your child might have had trouble developing the ‘conscience’ part of their brain. They will be amazingly violent and bloodthirsty, and if you gave them any sort of powers, they will learn to use them with terrifying effeciency. Expect students to ‘disappear’ from school, and no matter how crafty they (or you) are about it, the police will get involved...and somehow have their hands on Anti-Jumper tech. The same loss conditions apply, with the caveat you lose the jump if they end up in jail.
Well, you made it. Your ward has grown into an adult taking care of themselves, and you’ve left each other on good terms. The first question is, what happens to them...? Well, that’s up to them, not you.

A Chip Off the Old Block – Your ward doesn’t want to live a normal life just yet...they want to travel with you, the person who looked after tham all those years and had all those amazing adventures! They will join you as a companion and take up a companion slot, as normal. They keep all they gained from this jump and their heredity, though they won’t spontaenously gain any more abilities along with you without imports.

A Fond Farewell – Your ward has gone off into this world to live life to their fullest. You say your goodbyes, whether tearfully, casually, or with resignation. You will receive a framed picture of them in your Warehouse for free, along with a picture of your happiest moment in this jump.

As for you...

My Time Is Over – Parenthood does a lot of funny things to someone, like teaching them the value of the word ‘home’. You decide it’s time to end your jumping days and head home, taking all you’ve gained with you.

This Is My Home – It’s not EXACTLY like your home, but it’s close enough you’ve gotten comfortable. And you have so many memories here now, too. You decide to retire from jumping and remain in this world, free to pester your ward about getting grandkids or visiting more often.

Time to Carry On – Parenting was a fun experience, but it’s time to get back to the other adventures. You move along, taking all you’ve gained as normal.
Notes:

Most perks are based on the age of your targets. Jumpers naturally become very old over time as their chain continues, so use your own discretion on whether this means physical or mental age. It will be a lot more effective if you at least LOOK like an adult, however.

If your child is long-lived as a result of their genes, the jump minimum age is extended until they reach their equivalent of the human age of 18. If they would normally be ageless to begin with, they will age normally UNTIL they reach age 18.

Setting imports are a dicey issue right now, but I’m not against adding those later.