(EqG) "Girl-Talk"

Just a little look at some "Girl-Talk" that the Humane Six have.

>“Are you ok, Twilight? You look awfully deep in thought.”
“Hwa--Whuh?”
>“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you…”
>Seems you must’ve drifted off in your thoughts again, Twi.
“Oh, uh, no, you’re alright Fluttershy. I was just thinking about stuff.”
>Rainbow Dash--always the first to lewd thoughts--quirks her eyebrow suggestively.
>“Oh yeah? What kind of thoughts are you havin’ then, huh Egghead?”
>You roll your eyes.
“I can promise that it’s none of the ones that I know you’re having, that much I can assure you,” you answer with a chuckle.
>Applejack sighs at the obnoxiousness of her blue-hued friend.
>“Honestly Rainbow, must ya always be so inappropriate?”
>Rainbow Dash shrugs at the question.
>“Oh lighten up, Aj. It’s so obvious that we’re all thinking about a specific someone here.”
>“WHO’S THINKING ABOUT ANONYMOUS? NOT ME. NOPE. TOOOTALLY NOT ME.”
>All eyes glare to a twitching Pinkie Pie.
>Her typically reassuring smile was too big than it should be.
>Even for her.
>For someone who sees smiles so often, you’d think she'd be able to make a decent fake one for herself...
>Rarity deflates as she admits defeat to the obvious discussion that all silently refuse to speak of.
>“Why it's true. I’m afraid that Rainbow Dash does indeed have a point...”
>Dash grins self-indulgently at Rarity’s compliment.
>“...well, for once, anyways.”
>Then she pouts instead.
>“The point I am trying to make is that it’s quite clear that we all have a certain "affection" for a certain Mister Anonymous.”
>You start to blush as does the entire table of girls.
>...Eh, why not.
>Not like no one knows.
“Ok, I’ll admit it. He looks super good and he is a very smart guy to match his looks.”
>Applejack decides to chime in too, making sure you're not the only one speaking the truth.
>“Don’t ya forget ‘bout them muscles. I love me a man with some meat on him.”
>Rarity fans herself, trying to hide the blush across her face with hopes of cooling off.
>Trying to hold the regal tone in her voice, she speaks carefully.
>“I have to agree, darling. He is quite the fetching one, no? It’s just so hard for a girl to come across someone with such looks and manners that comply each other these days!”
>Despite the fact all the girls’ faces were red now, it’d be no doubt (nor a surprise) that meek little Fluttershy’s face was the reddest of them all.
>Unfortunately for her, all eyes watched as she struggled to find her own thing to say.
>“Well he’s really, uh, kind, and he’s so caring. Whenever he’s helping me out on a question, he’ll sit down and say that it’s okay that I’m having trouble…a-and then help me more...and I say thanks...he's very nice.”
>Rainbow cackles.
>“Pfft, that’s nothing Shy,” boasted Dash.
>Of course she tries to make it a competition…
>Typical Rainbow Dash.
>You decide to defend Fluttershy from any more humiliation.
“It's nothing? Why’s that? I doubt you have any stories to tell.”
>Dash’s wicked smile only grows as everyone's eyes widen.
>The room is silent but the feeling of dread is well-shared.
“Oh no...”
>“More like, ‘Oh yeah’ if you ask me,” Dash says.
>The table's occupants continue to stare incredulously at Rainbow Dash.
>She of course bathes in the attention.
>Rarity decides it upon herself to ask the inevitable question.
>“Dashie dear...what on Earth did you do to the poor soul?”
>“Nothing,” she beams proudly at herself, “I didn’t do a thing.”
>Her answer merely intrigues you more.
>And scares you.
>Mostly the latter.
“What exactly happened, Rainbow?”
>The room goes silent as it waits for her answer…
>Rainbow Dash studies all your curious faces, loving the looks she’s being fed.
>With a small laugh, she grins very inappropriately.
>“The dude checked me out.”
>Everybody except for the athlete herself gasp.
“For real?!” questions a baffled Pinkie.
>Dash simply chuckles and kicks her feet up onto the edge of the foodless kitchen table.
>Your reaction was as followed...
“Firstly Rainbow, get your feet off the table. I eat there,” you scold Dash, “and secondly...Are you serious?”
>“Yep. Serious as ever. It was ‘bout after class and he was helping me out with a few things for our papers on Poe. Y’know, ‘cause I suck at writing.”
>You grimace.
“Yeah, your Daring Do fanfics prove it.”
>“Aaaanyways…! It was an hour after school, and he said he had to go home. So I’m all like, ‘Yeah, I understand, thanks for the help, Mr. Anonymous,’ right? So then I get my stuff from my desk, but then I drop it all--”
>“Riveting,” drones an unimpressed Rarity.
>“Hey! I’m getting there! So I,like, bend over to pick it all back up and stuff, but as I bend down, I saw his eyes go all wide.”
>The girl pauses for dramatic effect.
>“He’s totally checking out my ass and legs.”
>...Whoa.
>That's uh...
>Uh...
>You don't know what to think of that.
>Nor do the others either, because everyone at the table is taking a moment to think about Dash’s story.
>Suddenly, a voice rings out a question from among the six of you.
>“...Was this the day you wore those yoga pants?” asks Pinkie.
>“The very one,” Dash replies with a sick look of pride.
>Pinkie giggles.
>“Oh boy…isn’t that when you had a massive camel--”
>“Hey! No spoilers! Ok, so Anon didn’t notice that I saw him, but as I stood back up, the dude was totally beat-red.”
“Are you for real?” you ask.
>Dash just nods her head with an aura of accomplishment.
>“No doubt about it. Even if he didn’t mean to, he totally was staring at my awesome ass.”
>Her smile grows more lewd and her voice more sultry.
>“But here’s the thing, I realized why he was staring at my butt when I got home. I saw that I had the WORST camel-toe in history...Like, I might as well not of been wearing pants type of camel toe. One that he saw by the way.”
>“Now waita minute,” questions Applejack, “you tellin' me he practically saw your lady-parts?”
>Dash winks at her as a yes.
>“You know it.”
>Whewf...
>The air in the room just got more steamy and everyone knows why.
>Fluttershy tries her best not to faint as the others dab the sweat off their faces as Rarity tries to keep herself civilized.
>“He didn’t look there with clear and devote intention, did he? I always perceived him being more gentlemanly than that...”
>Dash nods her head a tiny ‘no’ to Rarity.
>“Nah, I think his eyes were on it ‘cause of how obvious it must’ve been. I mean, the only thing covering it was the jacket around my waste at school, and I put it in my locker before I stayed with Anon. He got the whole view. He didn’t say anything, but kept on looking. Did look kinda nervous though.”
>Applejack quirks her brow inquisitively.
>“Uh, I think that paper might’ve been due today, sugar.”
>“Don’t sweat it, I did it yesterday. Gave him the paper early this morning ‘cause I finished it up. Y’know, thanks to his help.”
>“Did you ask him for more super-student-study-time after school?” asks Pinkie with eager curiosity.
>Rainbow Dash shrugs.
>“Said he’s busy and usually doesn’t stay after school. Maybe next time though? I dunno.”
>A guy that young being that busy?
>Odd...
“What could he be busy with? The guy’s hardly in his late Twenties,” you say thinking aloud.
>Your brows raise up as an explanation found it’s way into your head.
>It was an explanation you did not like…
“What if he has a girlfriend?”
>The table is silent as all evaluate the notion.
>“Gee, that ain’t occurred to me at all…”
>The faces of your friends turn to worry.
>Thoughts ponder until Rarity speaks up.
>“...Actually Applejack, I highly doubt that he’s in a relationship, and I think I have an theory of my own design as to why.”
>Rarity’s rebuke at your theory is met with everyone looking at her.
>You hope she’s right.
>“You see, it is entirely possible that Mister Anonymous is trying to find a companion, yet I find the idea of him being “taken” far less likely. After all, he’s more often seen while alone during his time, off in his own little world of his cute little madness,” she says dreamily, sighing like a love-struck puppy.
>A small frown fades its way to your face.
“Yeah, makes sense. I know how hard it is to get a relationship when you’re the solitary and intellectual type…”
>Rarity nods in agreement with you, her purple friend.
>“Mister Anonymous seems to be rather solitary in his nature--yet we do not know why. If he did have a special someone, I believe he’d at least be seen on the phone talking to her--or him--at a certain point, or even have a picture of her--or him--on his desk.”
“Ok, true. Even BRAD had enough decency to talk on the phone with me.”
>Shudders emanate across the room at that mention.
“I just compared Mister Anon to Brad, didn’t I?”
>“Yep, now never do it again. Ever.”
>You all groan like sickened children.
>You’ve made plenty of mistakes in your life, Twilight.
>But Brad will always be the biggest.
>(He wishes that he was the biggest)
>“Righty then, so we got ourselves sum evidence that Mister Anon’s a single fella, that he checked out Rainbow Dash after he helped ‘er on a paper, and…” Aj tries to find a third piece of evidence, but realizes that’s all they’ve got so far, “...and I think that’s ‘bout it, ya’ll.”
>Dash ponders heavily, scouring her mind for any useful information.
>“Nah, there’s gotta be something else! Something like...like…”
>Pinkie Pie gasps as the sound of the oven timer goes off.
>“COOKIES!”
>“...cookies?” Dash repeats with confusion coating her voice.
>Meanwhile, Pinkie leaps from the table like a lioness jumps after it’s prey and runs to the oven in a full sprint.
>The girls watch their bubbly friend with confused and baffled looks on their faces as Pinkie gets out the oven mitts, and pulls out the cookie tray from the oven with them.
>The pink girl’s manic smile only widened with madness and glee as she set the cookies on a plate within a matter of seconds.
>Where the plate came from is something all know not of, but it can be assured that it certainly was not from this kitchen.
>Along with the illusive plate seems to be seven glasses, just as mysterious in origin as the aforementioned and enigmatic cookie plate.
>Pinkie heads towards the fridge at what appears to be lightspeed, gets out the milk, and proceeds to pour it into all of the glasses.
>She puts the milk jug away and spins like a cyclone as she somehow manages to carry all glasses of milk and the cookie plate to the kitchen table where you and your friends have been talking/waiting.
>The crazy thing is...
>...all this occurs within a literal blink of an eye.
>The six of you stare agape at the speed of your pink pal as she smiles happily at her own deed.
>Dash,though, decides to shrug it off and reaches her hand for a freshly baked cookie…
>...Until Pinkie slaps her hand away from the plate and screams.
>“WAAAIT!!!!!”
>Dash immediately retreats her hand as she winces.
>“They have to cool off, Dashie. Wouldn't wantcha burning your mouth from a plate of my gigantic cookies, would ya? They’re big, too!”
>The rainbow-haired girl holds her smacked hand and grumbles with a smeared pout on her face.
>“Doubt they’re as hot as Mister Anon.”
>You try your best not to laugh at Dash’s admittedly clever little joke, but a light chuckle somehow does manage to escape.
“Big words there Dash. Pinkie’s food is usually scolding hot, and not to mention huge in portions.”
>“Portions...I wonder how big his dick is?” thinks aloud a meek Fluttershy.
>Wait...FLUTTERSHY said that?
>All double-take at the quiet girl as she realizes her flib of the mouth.
>Seriously, where did that come from!?
>“O-oh no! I-I must’ve been thinking aloud again, wasn’t I? Oh my gosh, girls, I’m so so so sorry!”
>Fluttershy immediately snaps her hooves in front of her, cowering behind her friends and hidden by her hooves and mane.
>Applejack puts a reassuring hand on the yellow girl’s shoulder despite being a little stunned at Fluttershy’s vocabulary.
>“Hey,uh, we ain’t judgin’ ya. I mean, let’s be honest ya’ll...I betcha we're all thinkin’ ‘bout that too, ain’t we?”
>...No use lying now.
>You empty a breath you didn't you were holding.
“Okay, yeah, I think about his dick. A lot. Probably too much….WAY too much.”
>“L-likewise…” murmurs Rarity.
>Pinkie Pie giggles.
>“Yeah, I think about it a lot too! Like if he’s circumcised, how long he is, or what’d it be like if he stuck it up my--”
>“Yes, yes Pinkie, we get it!” says Rarity as she places her hand over Pinkie’s trap, “we’re all intrigued by his ‘equipment’.”
>“Yeah, well, I don’t think about it too much,” claims Dash.
>You all give Dash a deadpan look.
>It’s easier to see through her lies than it is to see through Applejack’s...
>The pressure forces the truth out of her.
>“Ok fine! B-but I only think about it just at night! Just at night and nothing else!”
>No one is fully convinced.
>Dash’s face goes red as she desperately switches to another topic.
“Ugh! Can we eat the cookies now? I really want those cookies.”
>The Pink chef laughs.
>“Ah-ha-ha!!! The Pinkie shall tell you if ye are worthy of such, Rainbow Dash!” yells Pinkie.
>Uncertain, Rainbow Dash takes the risk and reaches for the cookie plate while looking at her friend carefully.
>The Pinkie approves and allows Dash to grab a cookie.
>You and the other girls do so as well aaaaand....
>Oh.
>Oh dayum.
>Oh dayum, son that shit is fine as fuck, yo.
>Yisssss…..
>Imagine the ultimate chocolate chip cookie.
>Now imagine that perfected.
>It’s warm, not too doughy yet not too crumbly, but a delightful mixture of both with flavor so sweet that it reminds you of the literal essence of Hearth’s Warming. Or Christmas. Or both.
>Yeah. Both.
>THAT is what this cookie is.
>The Quintessence of all Cookies: Clogger of Arteries has never been so amazing.
“Wow...so good…” you manage to say without spitting crumbs out.
>As you all eat your cookies, Rarity ponders some more.
>“I wonder what Anon is doing right now?” she says.
 “Meh, he’s probably asleep.”

>Be Anon.
>You’re just here, in my Garage---er, you mean checking these grades.
>Raindrop’s paper was alright, nothing special but nothing wrong either. She does seem a bit confused by the idea of how diction and the writing match the tone of the plot, but she’s getting there.
>You nod in approval.
“Not bad.”
>You give it a B+.
>Okay, who’s next?
>Brad, F-.
>That one’s always easy.
>Next is...Twilight Sparkle!
>Oh, you’re in for a treat this time…
>Good grammar, excellent analysis, shows a thorough understanding of the symbolism and plot, very well-written…
>You find yourself nodding in approval.
>Yep, another A fuckin’ plus for Twilight.
>That girl’s got brains, man.
>Now for Rainbow...Dash…
>...
>You know what you must grade her...
>With your red pen, you write on the front of her paper.
>"A+: See me after class for your reward, RD!"
>...
>What?
>You really gonna turn down dat ass?

>END