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- >Don't particularly like or hate fluffy ponies
- >except for Cinnamon, your neighbor's brown pegasus with a white mane
- >it shits on your lawn and tries to talk to things outside its window all fucking night
- >You wish suffering upon this animal, and the gods oblige
- >your neighbors are moving to a gated community where no fluffies are allowed
- >you elect to take care of Cinnamon
- >BEGINNING OF THE FIRST DAY
- >You've set up a chicken wire pen for the little shit in your basement
- >the floor around it is covered very well. You know damn well these things do not understand the concept of shitting in the corner so rather than make a toilet for it you just let it shit wherever it desires.
- >It babbles to itself as you bring it to its new home
- >"Fwuffy ungy! Sketty! Sketttyyyyyyyy!"
- >You don't really feel like spending money on it, so you present it with a bowl filled with sawdust and used cooking oil
- >"Not Pasketch! Wan skapetti!"
- >You threaten to kick its ass if it doesn't eat, it seems to get the message
- >It takes a bite of the slop, makes a face, then says, "Fwuffy eat, shee? Good fwuffy get p'sgetti now!"
- >it is now repeating various mispronunciations of "spaghetti" in protest, ramming its little head against the chicken wire.
- >that little fucker
- >You grab some chili powder from your pantry and hurry back downstairs
- >"Not sagetti! Wan' sagetti!"
- >"Look at me, and open your mouth. You'll get it."
- >She follows your instructions, already drooling from the thought of spaghetti.
- >With a big puff, you send a handful of chili powder flying into its eyes, mouth, and snout
- >You grab a chair and watch your least favorite fluffy pony writhe and shriek in agony, covering itself in drool, tears and snot, for the next half hour or so
- >It's pretty gross, but you still think it's hilarious
- >You continually tell it that this is what bad fluffies get, and it can never have good food from now on
- >it seems to get the message, and willingly eats "ucky nummies" with limited protest
- >for some reason it takes offense to your lame insults, it looks completely disheartened whenever you call it dumb or ugly
- >but it's not enough
- >it still laughs and plays its dumb little games with itself, fluttering its wings and bouncing high in the air
- >Your buddy Dave does amputations down at the adoption center
- >You call him in as a favor
- >As he's explaining to you what you need to do (he's doing it for free, fuck you you can help), you ask him if he can leave out the shock therapy
- >"You sure? It's not gonna be happy."
- >You shrug.
- >He calls you a sick fuck and punches you lightly on the shoulder
- >The procedure is not nearly as gruesome as you imagined, unfortunately. The blood loss is kept to a minimum and its leg/wing stumps are dressed promptly.
- >You don't really have the money for anesthetics, but Cinnamon passes out from the pain after the third leg anyway.
- >You hand Dave a sixer and he's on his way somewhere else.
- >Cinnamon comes to a few minutes later, but she doesn't seem to realize she's a ball of fluff with a head yet.
- >"Owie game go 'way? No moah meanie hugs?"
- >Sure, whatever.
- >Your cruelty circuits kick in.
- >"Hey, c'mere."
- >It wiggles for a moment, then stops.
- >"Wah?"
- >It wiggles some more, this time more furiously.
- >"Weggies no wowk? Sokey, fwuffy fwy to daddy!"
- >Cinnamon's shoulders squirm, and its face contorts into a concentrated grimace
- >"Wingies go? Why? Bwing wingies!"
- >it doesn't really seem to comprehend the situation
- >The sun yet rises, so you prod Cinnamon a little more with a trip to the fluffy park
- >The park itself is pretty much nothing, there's no large plants or anything because the whole place is kept bone dry
- >A small horde of dead fluffies are piled under the single water fountain in the park
- >For the most part it's a drop n go type deal for people who don't feel like spending money on a babysitter for fluffy fucking ponies
- >As such most fluffies go unattended
- >There's a small area for amputee ponies set up with harnesses and such, but you've got bigger plans
- >You drop Cinnamon in the middle of a group of fluffies
- >"New fwien'! Yay!"
- >Before they can greet her with hugs, you suggest to them that they play tag
- >A blue fluffy bumps into a red one, saying "Yoow it!"
- >A cacophany of giggles and "Ouchies!" follows
- >Cinnamon tries to join in, but she can only manage to wiggle and flop
- >A hot pink fluffy bumps into Cinnamon, shouting "Yoo it! It!"
- >They all run away, and it can hardly catch up
- >it can only watch as its new "friends" run away, only stopping a few yards later, forgetting about tag completely
- >Suddenly, a billionaire supermodel runs up to you and tells you there's a bomb in her vagina that can only be turned off with a penis, and she'd reward you handsomely if you helped her
- >You tell that bitch to fuck off, you've got shit to do
- >Next, you bring Cinnamon up to a group of pegasii
- >This time the magic happens all by itself
- >"Go 'way! Wingie fwiens' onwy!"
- >"Fwuffy haff wingies! Wook! Fwuffy fwy!"
- >The fluff on its back starts to wiggle furiously, and it emits a few strained squeaks
- >"Wha? Wingies, why no wowk?"
- >The pegasii have ignored it, and are now enjoying gliding off of a large rock. "Wheeeeeeee! Hee hee, fwy high!"
- >Cinnamon bursts into treats, sobbing "Fwuffy wan' fwy... Wan' fwy 'gen..."
- >Its tears are delicious ambrosia to you, sustaining your soul
- >You and Cinnamon visit the park every day
- >Eventually you get bored of it, and you run out of spare shit to use as feed, so you toss it on your new neighbors' yard
- >They have a pitbull
- >Cinnamon survives as its chew toy for a full week
- >You really like pitbulls now
- Credit: Anon
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