I didn't really want to talk to you about this but it seems like you are still going ahead and adding Dan back. Please don't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you, I've only told two people. Basically I have quite bad anxiety, which could explain my behaviour at some points. It's part of the reason I find it hard to talk to people on teamspeak. I used to talk occasionaly but I was making myself do it, hoping that I would gain confidence by doing so. That did work for a while until I started getting greeted with remarks about my nationality and imitations of my accent and it was Dan who did these things. He shattered the little confidence I had and also made my anxiety worse. Please don't think any different of me now or think that I'm not fit for staff. I can still do my job as a staff member no problem. I've been staff for over a year and I haven't had a lot of panic attacks in that time, although there has been the occasional one or two. It was Dan who caused me to have panic attacks for the reasons i mentioned in my first message, specifically when he told me to shut the fuck up and get my head out your arse, and when he came back and said how I never did my job and should get off my arse and do something for once. I'm scared something like that will happen again and I'll end up having a major panic attack. They have been getting worse and more frequent since John left but I think I've got it under control for now. I play minecraft because it lets me get away from the things in my life that cause me to feel anxious. I enjoy having responsibility on the server because it takes my mind off stuff and lets me do things I enjoy, so I'm not any less of a person or a staff member because I have anxiety and I hope you realise that. I was hesitant to tell you this because it's not really easy to talk about and I knew you would probably think I was just looking for attention. Please don't think that, this was very hard for me to talk to you about. You probably won't change your mind over this because it's just me and I don't really expect you to. I just wanted to let you know the main reason I don't want him back.