Story 06: Loveless

It was the night before the operation. An operation that would hopefully cure you of your golden weapon problem. Hopefully the influence of them will be gone, completely, or, somehow you she could use their corruption to help yourself in fights; like be more aggressive. Like Kharn, whose aggression was stuff of legends.

You placed the hand mirror back on the nightstand beside your bed. With a sigh your glasses come off and your hand scratched your eyes. Normal eyelids that covered up black and red eyes, it was as if you turned into a mini-Kharn sans the robo limbs. Maybe with the operation, you'll fully become her. You let out a wisp of a chuckle. To be Kharn, now that would be something; however, the world would implode from two Kharns streaking through blood-and-guts soaked battlefields, screaming like banshees and proclaiming skulls for the skull throne. Truly, two skull thrones would replace the ice caps if that happened.

A series of timid knocks interrupted your reverie. You continued scratching as you answered.

"Ah- Sempai, may... may I come in?" Of course she could, the door was unlocked after all, and she was your kouhai.

The door opened, closed, and then silence. You stopped scratching, opened the lids that were tattooed with all sorts of eldritch horrors, and stared at your kouhai with stop lights against the black night eyes. There stood Midori Hanegawa in her usual outfit, the one that made you think she was about to lounge around the house. Dressed for comfort, that's Midori.

"Matsuda-sempai, aren't you worried about the operation tomorrow? She stared at you with clear concern on her face. She was genuinely worried over you, as if the thought of losing you would shatter her entire world.

You told her, bluntly but with some measure of softness, that no, you aren't worried over the operation. Either that basement dweller knows what he's doing or you'll finally be free from this cursed existence. Either way, you're fine with it. Midori's face scrunched up in irritation.

"Don't talk like that, Sempai. You have a lot of good things going for you! You've seen things I could never comprehend but you're still a good person when it counts, still care for others' states of well being, and you don't interrogate like what I've heard you to do." She stepped closer to you, all sorts of clashing and strong emotions crossing her face. You barely snorted, seeing your subordinate make a case for your humanity. The one you lost five amnesia layers back. Professional courtesy was all you had going for you. So her saying you still cared, and that you're a good person when it counts, like an Incubator you just didn't see it.

"In-in any case... can I... lay down with you...?" That last bit was like a dry rustle of leaves, quiet, soft, only something you could hear if you were attuned to the environment. You weren't. You asked her to repeat herself. She did, and you actually cracked a tiny, insignificent smile. You didn't see any trouble in that, and made room on your bed for another body, moving the sheets so she could slide in. On top of that, you could die during the operation, and Midori probably wouldn't want to cuddle your corpse.

Midori, clearly embarrassed but relieved to be with her sempai, makes her way to your bed. The sounds of rustling, then warm hands, arms, and body clinging to your own under the sheets. You were fulfilling her much needed hugging pillow, and you were fine with that. She held onto you firm. It was alright she doing this. Perfectly alright.

"I don't want to lose you, Sempai.." Midori whispered into your shoulder, a tiny squeak. "If I lost you in that operation, I wouldn't know what I'd do with myself. You're the only one I know in QB Heavy Industries." You raised your arm and patted her head. She would do fine without you, she could count on Mami, Kyoko, and maybe even Sayaka. A long shot if there were any, the possibility of Midori being hated because you as her superior was, well... you wouldn't be surprised if Sayaka distrusted her.

Then Midori did something that took you by surprise. She raised herself up and kissed you on the lips. A soft, needy kiss, one that spoke volumes of desire. She wanted to pack a lifetime's worth into a single night. You did not reciprocate. You knew she loved you, adored you like an otaku adored an idol, but you didn't know how to reciprocate that pure feeling. Everything you touched was viled and distorted, like a certain pink-haired horror. You couldn't bring yourself to taint this wonderful girl. She deserved better, you felt.

She went in for another kiss, again you didn't reciprocate. She backed off, looking into your eyes for an answer. An unspoken reason passed, one that transcended past words, only could be felt in emotions. Midori's eyes drained tears, burying her face into your chest, sobbing an entire lifetime's worth with her arms hugigng you tighter.

You just continued patting her head, adverting your gaze to some corner in the spartan room, uncomfortable in what you should do. Oddly enough, you felt like crying yourself, just a little.