car help

Need help from someone who knows cars - make, model, etc well. Planning to hit some dealership miles today or tomorrow.

Here's a basic overview of what I need help with, and what I've tried.


Size equivalences:

like, i know a civic is smaller than an accord
and that with sedans, there are sorta two size categories
but i cant seem to find a list of model equivalences between different manufacturers

Blue Book general ranges:

and i cant find a generic blue book range for each make, which would really help
my guess is that used car pricing falls somewhere volvo, honda, toyota, nissan, vw, mazda, kia, hyundai (NO AMERICAN!)....but that's a fairly wild guess
i'm trying to figure out a basic rubric
like, for example (these numbers are made up) --- toyota 2003 is 6k blue book, and doesn't hit 4k until around 250k miles. nissan 2003 is 4k blue book. hyundai 2005 is 4k blue book, 2003 is 2.5k
right, if i can get some sort of idea for basic depreciation, how miles effect it, and how age effects it.....then i can know what cars i am likely to be able to afford

Why I need help:

And I need to know, because I can't just tell a dealership that I'm looking for a car that has x, y, and z and is in such and such a range. I tried that...all that happens when I do that is that they hear that I'm flexible and instantly try and sell me and show me things that are exactly what I said no to. Friend who went with me yesterday told me that dealers are idiots and i have to come in and be super specific and not in a complicated way (anything between a and e), or they'll run around like circus monkeys. And I think she's right. It doesn't matter how loudly I say that I will under no conditions get anything that's not a four door....they'll instantly show me a two door anyway.

I could probably get away with coming in with a guidelines for what I'm looking for if I was a dude but it's like having breasts makes them think that if they just show me something pretty enough, I'll find a guy to pay for it or something. And it doesn't matter how much I tell them that I don't want a car that's newer and that I don't care how pretty that convertible is...they're not fucking listening to me.


#####Background to why I'm making the decisions I'm making:

Why I'm doing dealer, not private party:

i'd been going to buy private party, toyota honda or nissan (decent mpg but lowest cost of maintenance and repair and longest life) but it became untenable quickly. people have no idea what shape their car is in, which means even if every person i look at is honest....i need to do an inspection, find out they didn't know their car was in crap condition and then repeat....and i cant afford that time or money wise
so i thought i'd go to a dealer. if i cant get financing, great. if not....other lesser brands have cheaper blue books
the dealer will have inspected the car, and have service records
so when i insist on getting it inspected.....it'll either be confirming what they know or finding out it's a lie
in the latter case, they'll try and dissuade me from getting it inspected by an outside shop. so i know to walk away
any good dealership will have fixed the car up properly -- both safety stuff and superficial stuff like scratches and dings --- stuff that doesn't matter for driving the car, but uber and lyft wont let you drive with anything like that
but....i dont know car companies and stuff, not really

Financing:

getting financing would be my first choice...because then i could buy a car worth 6000, and even with nothing down, my payments would be only 100 a month
if i put 1000 or 2000 down, my payments would be even cheaper
and i'd still have money on me, which would mean that I'd have to spend less time living in my car, or if i was lucky, no time
but i just dont think i'll get financing that's feasible. most financing they wont do for older cars or cars with too many miles. lots of banks and stuff have restrictions -- nothing older than 2008 or nothing over 60k miles
which means i'd be forced to spend way more.
and....they likely wont give me that much financing (if they'd give me any at all) because while my credit is good, i dont have proof of employment or income
and proof that uber and lyft etc have accepted me on contingency, or anything else -- doesnt count
the only thing ive been approved for is new car financing....by a dealership that has a thing with uber where they consider an uber offer legit
but i cant afford that!

Lease takeovers:

i also looked at lease takeovers, but they take months to complete, and you must be qualified for financing from the dealerships -- even if there are only 6 months left on the lease and you're talking about a loan of a few thousand, not thirty thousand

#########What my requirements are:

Price range:

since I wont get financing, i'm working with the very limited cash i have on hand
including every penny i have....i have less than 5000 dollars
even if i leave no money to spend on renting a place, and just decide to live out of my car until i can make money (which is basically whats happening because I cant find anything for the amount i can spend anyways)....
i cant really spend more than 4000 on a car. there's tax, title, insurance, and having a hundred or so for an emergency
so...yeah
I need to find something cheap

Car requirements:

minimum age: 2003 (Uber and Lyft allow cars as old as 2000 in LA, but I wouldn't be able to use it for that very long. 2003 seems safe, though it's still 2 years too old to do Uber and Lyft anywhere other than LA)
must have 4 doors
not an american car
can't be an EV
must seat a minimum of 5 people
must be in good condition both driving wise and superficially (wont pass uber or lyft inspection otherwise)
automatic
basics like power windows and doors

My big concerns after that are a car that has a decent back seat and space and decent MPG. Leather is strongly preferred both because clients like it more, and because it's easier to clean, but it's just a preference. After that I care about how old the car is and mileage, which is to say, they really aren't my primary concerns at all. My primary concern is money.

But the point is, that while a sedan will work fine for what I need, so will a hatchback or a crossover or an SUV (the latter will have more mediocre MPG, but eh). So I'm trying to come up with a basic rubric of what I can or can't afford, so that if I see a crossover of a certain year and make, I know that it's doable or not, and so on.