Rainbow Dash, Anon and Taxes (NOT MINE)

>Day who gives a fuck anymore in Equestria
>Filling out tax forms at the kitchen table
>Even in horse-land, taxes are inevitable
>Dependents?  None, that's going to cost you
>Doesn't matter though, for two straight years now you've been in the best relationship of your life
>Rainbow Dash
>Even the thought of her brings a twinge to your heart
>Her beauty, her grace, her bravado, and her undying loyalty to you gives your old, cranky heart a case of the warm fuzzies
>And the sex, can't forget the sex...whew, she really knew how to make you feel like a man, a man who fucks beautiful little bird ponies
>As if your thoughts conjured her into existence, you hear a faint fluttering of wings come into the kitchen, followed by the light clickety-clack of her hooves touching down on the hardwood floor
>"Um, h-hey Anon?"
>You remove your spectacles and turn to look at your marefriend
"Yes, my little bird of paradise?"
>She loves that pet name, and her suddenly blushing face reaffirmed that thought
>"Uh...well, I...I wanted to try something.  Twilight tells me it's a human tradition, or something..."
>She trails off, more than a little nervous
"Human tradition?  Which one?"
>She gives you an annoyed look
>"I can't tell you, love monkey (your favorite of her pet names, it was certainly better than 'fuckmaster', creativity thy name is not Dash), you just have to, um, let's see..."
>She suddenly produces a set of notes and scans them quickly
>"Okay, looks like you just need to stand right...there"
>She points to a location next to your chair
>You decide to humor her and rise from your seat, moving to the place where she still points with an outstretched hoof
"Okay, I'm standing here, now what?"
>Satisfied with your cooperation, she consults her notes again
>"Alright, he stands there, and then I...what?  What the hay am I, a contortionist?"
>You raise a brow at her
"Maybe I can clear this up, being a human and all, let me see"
>You reach out for the notes but she suddenly snatches them away
>"NO!"
>You pull back, a little shocked at her outburst
>She reads your gaze and her face falls
>"I'm sorry Anon, but...I really want to get this right, and...you can't know what I'm going to say until I say it"
>Her expression is nervous and pleading, something you never see her display, this must be important
"Okay, Dashie, take your time, I'll just stand right here and let you do your thing"
>She smiles, god that smile, you once told her to be careful of that smile, lest its beauty and warmth melt the polar ice caps and flood the world
>She rolled her eyes at that but enjoyed the compliment as she did with most of your mushy sentiments
>She breaks you from your reverie with a simple "Thanks babe, it'll be worth it, I promise"
>She buries her face back in the notes and then tosses them aside
>She looks up at you and takes a deep breath
>"Okay, I'm ready"
>She begins to awkwardly try to place the "knee" of her back right leg on the ground while standing on the hoof of her back left leg
>You raise a brow and cock your head to the side while she fumbles with her own anatomy
"Baby, come on, don't hurt yourself"
>"I'm fine Anon" she growls, "just...let...me...do...this..."
>Her attempts fail and she falls back on her rump
>Rainbow sighs
>"Well, screw it"
>She clears her throat
>"Anon, you make it worthwhile for me to get up in the morning, you make all the tricks I can do have purpose if only to please you, you make me feel so strong and yet so weak, you..."
>She smirks a little
>"...YOU are the wind under my wings"
>She produces a small box from...somewhere and holds it up in her hooves
>Hmmm, that box, it kind of looks like...
>The realization suddenly hits you
>She was trying to get on one knee
>She's holding up a small, black box, is this?  Is she really?
>"Anon?"
"Y-yes, Dashie?"
>"Will you make me the happiest mare in the world..."
>She opens the box, it contains a beautiful diamond engagement ring
>"...and be my husband?"
>Oh my fuck
>You stand there, mouth agape, completely stunned at what she has just asked you
>You were definitely not prepared for this
>After all, you thought YOU were going to be the one asking this question, instead of the other way around
>"Ummmm, Anon?"
>Dash is noticeably sweating now
>"I think my notes said you were supposed to give me an answer right about now"
>Fucking say something damn it!!
>But you know, be cool about it
"YES!! YES!! YES!! A THOUSAND TIMES YES, DASHIE!!"
>Wow, real macho there
>She holds out the ring and slips it on your finger
>You look into her eyes, they're brimming with tears
>You grab her, pick her up, and give her the most passionate kiss you can muster
>She pulls back from the lip lock and hugs you tight, burying her face in your shoulder
>"I...I just, I just love you so much, Anon!"
"I love you too Dash, I really do!"
>You both happy-cry (is that a word?) into each others necks for a moment before you pull back to look at her face, again
>"So, I guess I got it right huh?  The tradition?" she states with confidence
"Uh, well...technically, the male is supposed to do what you just did to the female"
>Shock overcomes her face
>"What?  B-but...aw, man, I can't believe I missed that!"
>You chuckle
"I think you did great though, Dashie.  It was a lovely proposal"
>Her anxiety fades and she smiles at you
>"Well, I was never really one for tradition anyway"
>You both share a laugh and some more kisses before taking that shit to the bedroom
>Gotta reaffirm your macho-ness after all, taking your bride to be in a manly fashion should do the trick, and she's certainly not complaining
>One thing's for sure, next tax day, one of you will be writing the other down as a dependent
>Take that, Celestia

End