The First Fight, Chapter One

<8:00 pm, Tuesday>

The perfume of sweet sugar and flowers met Takashi Wakui as he entered the little café in Synth Central. The Lovely Eight Café had been designed with homeliness in mind, and it was incredibly successful. Soft classical music filled the background, only barely noticeable. Colorful flowers were arranged on the tables and windowsills, a welcoming dash of color in the drab gray landscape of Akumachi City. Maids – and a butler or two – buzzed around the café, smiling and laughing as they bore plates of warm food to their customers.

Hatsue was in the front, casually leaning against a wall as she checked her phone disinterestedly. At the sound of the bell, she looked up, as if it was taking everything she had to stay awake. “Welcome back, ma ” She paused as recognition hit, and dropped character to give Takashi a half-grin. “Back again, Takashi-san?”

“You know me, can’t stay away,” Takashi said, shrugging. “Is she here?”

Hatsue rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Remember to keep the PDA to a minimum, alright?” She turned to the café proper, and cupped a hand around her mouth. “Hey, Celecchi! Your favorite customer is here!”

Celeste Tachibana, in the middle of writing down a customer’s order, looked up and caught sight of Takashi. He gave her a little wave, and she responded with a roll of her eyes and a tiny, hidden smile. She finished writing, bowed to her customer, and moved over to her boyfriend and coworker. “Let me guess. You were passing by and thought you’d drop in to ‘see how I was doing’,” she said, bracketing her words with invisible punctuation marks.

“I was bored, so I came by ‘to see my girlfriend in cosplay’,” Takashi said.

“Drop the act,” Hatsue grumbled. “We all know Celecchi tells you to come by so she can rub you in our faces.”

Takashi and Celeste gasped in mock offense. “Hatsue-chan, you insult my honor,” Celeste said.

“And on top of that, you’re completely right,” Takashi said with a similar tone of voice. Celeste gave him a little shove.

“Blech,” Hatsue said, sticking out her tongue. “You want me to take over table eight so you two can flirt?”

“That’d be great,” Celeste said, passing her order slip to Hatsue. “I think eight came to see you, anyway.”

“Brilliant,” Hatsue sighed. “I’m off, then. Pray for me.” All the emotion dropped from her face as she slipped into character, embodying the stereotypical kuudere. Warmth hidden beneath a chilly exterior, like the glow of a lantern behind a pane of frosted glass. Celeste put a reassuring, strengthening hand on her shoulder as she passed, as if they were soldiers going off to war.

Perhaps a bit dramatic, Takashi thought.

“Right this way,” Celeste said, and at an expectant look from Takashi, rolled her eyes and added, “Master.”

Takashi smiled and followed her, moving around the tables and other customers to a small table in the corner, settled in the middle of a simulated sunbeam. Takashi couldn’t help but admire how Celeste’s skirts swished; they weren’t criminally short or prudishly long, but in the perfect area between the two that was deliciously tantalizing.

Takashi wondered if this was the same uniform that Celeste had worn for him a few weeks ago, but decided not to ask. He took his seat, feeling like the king of the world. “Coffee and cake, right?” Celeste asked, not even writing it down.

“That’d be great, thanks,” Takashi said. Celeste gave him a little curtsy and swept off towards the kitchen. It wasn’t long before she returned, carrying two plates of cake, one of which she placed in front of Takashi.

“The coffee’ll be ready in a minute,” she said. “Need anything else?”

Takashi pouted. “I swear you’re forgetting something…”

Celeste giggled, warily looking around to see if anyone was watching. Once she was sure they were in the clear, she darted forward and gave Takashi a peck on the cheek. “You’re lucky you’re cute, you know that?”

“I’ve been told,” Takashi grinned. “Thanks, hon.”

Celeste smiled, and moved on to another table. Takashi lifted his fork and took a bite of the sweet cake. Truthfully, seeing Celeste in cosplay had been only half the reason he came to the café. The pâtissier here was some sort of divine being. The cake was dense and moist on the fork, but as soon as it touched his tongue it turned into a fine, sweet mist. Fucking amazing.

“Hey, so is what you gave that guy over there a special service or something?”

Takashi froze with another bite halfway to his mouth. He slowly turned his head like an automated sentry gun tracking a Shadow. There was Celeste, and there was another customer, a college student with more product in his hair than a hair salon that was terrible even by Takashi’s standards but he didn’t care had he REALLY heard that motherfucker right was he FLIRTING WITH TAKASHI’S GIRLFRIEND?

In response, Celeste didn’t get mad. She giggled. “I’m very sorry, master, but that is reserved for our preferred customers,” she said, smiling happily.

“Aw,” the customer said with a grin. “I might have to come by more often, then.”

Celeste giggled again and left, smile stuck on her face.

The college student watched her go with rapt attention. “God damn,” Takashi heard him mutter reverentially under his breath.

Then, something happened. Takashi wasn’t sure exactly what, because everything whited out for a second, but he had a definite sense of time passing. When the world returned, his fork was missing.

Takashi looked at his hands, confused. What had happened…?

Celeste returned with a steaming mug of coffee. “Two sugars, one milk, and a dash of honey, just the way you like it,” she said, setting it in front of him. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, fine,” Takashi said tersely, forgetting about the mystery of the vanished fork for a moment. “What was the deal with that guy you were talking to?”

Celeste grimaced, but hid it well. “That was nothing. Happens all the time,” she said in a low voice. “Don’t worry about it.”

Takashi clenched his teeth. He was worrying about it. “Fine,” he said. “Can I get another fork? I think I lost mine.”

Celeste clearly wanted to ask how he had lost it, but she simply said, “Alright, sure.”

She moved back to the kitchen – being a server involved a lot of walking – but paused at the table occupied by the customer codenamed ‘Mister Hairspray’, the one who had just attempted to flirt with her. He was gone, leaving behind only a barely-touched slice of cake, a handful of macca, and a fork lodged in the table like it was waiting for the true King of England to pull it free. Celeste looked out the window in time to see Mister Hairspray run past with a look of abject terror on his face.

Celeste glanced back at Takashi, who was angrily staring out the fake window.


<10:30pm, Tuesday>

When Takashi opened his front door at the sound of insistent knocking, he quickly figured that Celeste wasn’t very happy with him. She stood in the threshold, arms crossed and brows set firmly. “Can we talk?” she asked.

“Uh, sure,” Takashi said, stepping aside to let her in. She kicked off her shoes, and Takashi followed her into the living room. He tried to think about anything that he might have done to tick her off, but drew a blank.

Oh god, was it an anniversary? Had they been dating for two months and Celeste expected something to celebrate that? Worse, was it her birthday? Praying for a quick death, he asked, “Is something wrong?”

“It sure looks like it,” Celeste said, leaning against the back of the sofa. “It’s about what happened at the café today.”

“What?” Takashi asked, tilting his head. “I came in, got my usual order-” ‘Saw you flirting with a college student,’ he thought, but didn’t say, “-and left. Did I do something wrong?”

Celeste glared at him. “Besides stabbing another customer’s table with a fork? No, nothing.”

“I did what?”

“Hatsue-chan saw you do it,” Celeste said. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you going to go around scaring off every customer that talks to me?”

“Talking? Are you kidding me? That guy was flirting with you! And I saw him checking you out as you walked away!”

“YOU do that!”

“Yeah, but I’m the one dating you! Not mister…” Takashi sneered, thinking about the college student. “Tall and smart and mature and coiffed and probably has a good job lined up after graduation!”

“Are you listening to yourself?!” Celeste yelled. “He was flirting – badly, might I add – with a high school student at a maid café! That’s like three different kinds of sleazy!”

“You sure didn’t seem to mind!”

“That’s because it’s my JOB! I have to be friendly and accommodating!”

“Hatsue doesn’t! She actively doesn’t give a crap what her customers say!”

“That’s her character! She’s the token kuudere, just like I’m the token semi-foreign girl!”

“Oh, of course, silly me. I forgot that you have to completely drown your personality to work at the Lovely Eight. Wow, what a great workplace, huh?”

“Do you understand how hard it is to find part-time work on a student visa? The Lovely Eight is literally the ONLY place that would hire me! You think I can stop doing my job because you don’t like it?”

“I’m not saying that! But can’t you, I don’t know, tone it down a bit?”

“You think I LIKE dealing with those creeps?!”

“It sure LOOKED like it!”

Celeste opened her mouth to respond, but paused as a realization struck her. “Takashi-kun, is this… is this our first fight?”

Takashi’s eyes widened. “You know, I think it is,” he said. “Wow.”

Celeste smiled. “Great! I was wondering when we’d hit that milestone.”

Takashi blinked, a bit taken aback. “What, really?”

“Yeah! Arguments are a natural part of any relationship. We have to clear the air somehow,” Celeste said. “It’s like, what’s it called, that Japanese thing where you repair broken pottery with gold. Kintama?”

“Kintsugi,” Takashi corrected her. “Kintama basically means testicles.”

“I thought so,” Celeste nodded. “Anyway, the point is that arguments are good for relationships in the long run. Like how forest fires promote new growth.”

“That’s true,” Takashi said, wondering why this was making so much sense. “So, when we fight, we can both let out any grievances we have?”

“Of course!” Celeste said sunnily. “I’m already absolutely furious at you, after all!”

“Great. Here goes.” Takashi took a deep breath, and exploded. “Why won’t you even TRY to look at this from my point of view? Every time I try to disagree with you about something, you avoid every point I make!”

“That’s because I AM right! We agreed!”

“Oh, silly me, I forgot I wasn't allowed to have a say in our relationship!”

“You ‘don’t have a say’?! You never let me choose what movie to rent-”

“You always want those horrible romcoms. It’s all the exact same plot-”

“Or where we go out for dinner-”

“That's because you always make me pay!”

“I have to pay bills and rent, Takashi-kun! You think that's cheap?!”

“And you always steal my dessert!”

“You always choose the tastiest-looking desserts! Sometimes a girl wants more than one!”

The next few minutes were some of the most enlightening in Takashi’s life. He learned things about himself that he had never realized: his tiny, annoying little quirks, his unknowing gaffes, his ugly side that he had never acknowledged. He slurped his soup too loudly. He was impossible to pin down with all of his other commitments. He slept like a corpse.

It was also his chance to tell Celeste everything he’d ever wanted to tell her but hadn’t to avoid pissing her off. She ate more sugar than could feasibly be called ‘healthy’. It was really rude that she wore her headphones when talking to people. She – and this was the one that he’d REALLY wanted to say – snored.

That one was the last straw. Her face as red as her hair, Celeste pointed at the door, her teeth bared. “Get out! Just – get out! I am so tired of your stupid face!”

Takashi blinked, looking at his surroundings. “But we’re in my apartment,” he pointed out.

“I know, but I always wanted to say that.”

“That’s fair. So, are you…?”

“Yeah, I’m leaving. If I stay any longer, I’ll probably start wanting to strangle your stupid neck.” She stomped towards the door like a thunderstorm with legs, fuming so badly that Takashi could see smoke.

“You can slam the door if you want,” Takashi told her.

“I was going to anyway.” She turned around in the portal, and took a very deep breath. “DROP DEAD, ASSHOLE! I HATE YOU!”

She slammed the door hard enough that the windows rattled.

A few seconds later, there was a timid knocking. Takashi opened the door. Sure enough, it was Celeste, looking very angry, embarrassed, and not meeting his eyes. “I forgot my shoes,” she said, her ears red with shame.

Takashi collected them from the floor and handed them over. “Thank you,” Celeste said.

“You’re welcome.” Takashi closed the door in her face.


A few minutes later, Takashi’s phone buzzed. He checked the notification - <chocolat_orange has messaged you> - and scowled. He had never thought that he would be angry to get a message from her. Usually, when she sent him messages at this time of night, it was either a math question, or an invitation to come upstairs and snuggle. At the moment, the odds of the latter were the same as those of Fumika inviting him to hang out and play video games.

Takashi opened the message.

<chocolat_orange> do i really snore, btw?
<THE_FIRST> Oh my god yes
<THE_FIRST> Please see a doctor, not even joking
<THE_FIRST> I looked it up and really bad snoring is a sign of a possible breathing problem
<THE_FIRST> It worries me
<chocolat_orange> alright, i will.
<chocolat_orange> see, this fight is already paying off. we’re both pointing out each other’s flaws, and acting to fix them. i’ll see a doctor about my snoring, and you’ll stop being a whining jealous baby about my job. :)
<THE_FIRST> Not on your life
<chocolat_orange> fuck you. >:(