az/anon fembustyjohn/fatrose msparp boobcuddles/fluff

JOAN: -a significantly less masculine john is wandering around the house.-
ROSE: :Rose had gone back to just. Lounging on the couch, really. Head on one armrest, bare feet half-dangling off the couch, reading her book.:
JOAN: -Using her trademark ability to be silent as a breeze, Joan notices a prime pranking opportunity on an old friend. Or a variant there of. Floating up, she lifts herself into the air and manuevers to keep herself just out of Rose's view until the perfect moment. She rises, keeping herself turned away at just the right angle to hide her significant bust from you, too. And then she strikes. All at once, she moves forward into Rose's view, floating upside down with the most shit eating grin she can manage.-
JOAN: BOO!
ROSE: :Okay, yeah, she didn't honestly expect it. As Joan's head came into view, Rose immediately startled, jerking and giving a sharp exhale as she was snapped out of her silent reading, fingers tightening on her book. And yet, to one as accustomed to the antics of Egberts, the shock faded a bit quicker than most, the portly seer exhaling softly before glancing up at her company and blowing her bangs out of the way of meeting those cobalt eyes and lowering her book a little.:
ROSE: You know, Halloween was several days ago, now.
JOAN: it is always a good time for spooks! and scares. and the occasional ooga booga.
JOAN: hehehe, it's good to "seer" you.
ROSE: Ughh. A jump scare and a terrible pun in the span of twenty seconds. It's like I'm having our collective friendship reiterated before my eyes in fast foward.
ROSE: :Groaning, she sat up, though it was obvious she wasn't nearly as bothered as she was making herself sound, and she casually yawned a little as she made room for Joan on the couch.:
JOAN: -With all the finesse of an experienced astronaut, Joan controlled her weightlessness toward the couch, planting herself next to Rose before allowing gravity to reassert it's desperate rule.-
JOAN: twenty seconds? i must be getting rusty.
JOAN: i should be able to fit at least two puns into that kind of time span.
JOAN: do you think i could fit something about getting lucky in their without it sounding dirty?
ROSE: To be fair, I probably need to get reaccustomed to having to cringe every few moments without pause. And it depends entirely on how devoted you are to referencing the song over the act.
ROSE: :Shrugging, she let herself smile at the bluer of the two, leaning back a little on the couch.:
ROSE: So how has life been in the cruel and unrelenting world of reality?
JOAN: boring! it's why i decided i should come give you a visit.
JOAN: if i don't keep things interesting for you, then who will?
JOAN: dave? terezi? kanaya!? they'd all just let you be a couch potato without prodding you at all.
ROSE: You'd be surprised at the sorts of thrills plaguing my life recently.
JOAN: -Joan gives her an emphatic poke as if to emphasis the prodding.-
ROSE: Hmph. If anything, two thirds of those have been encouraging it, and I haven't met a Terezi as of late.
ROSE: :She smushes a little under the prod, giving her a quick glance.:
JOAN: -Joan leans against Rose's side, tilting her head to look at Rose's book.-
JOAN: what are you reading, anyway?
JOAN: is it another karkat-recommended work of art?
ROSE: No. If anything, its the sort of thing Karkat would probably try to light on fire and stamp out if forced to partake in it. Alternian mythology and legends.
ROSE: :She showed Joan the book, the font remarkably tiny and filling every inch of both pages.:
JOAN: congrats on not falling asleep while reading it.
JOAN: -There's the congratulatory clap.-
ROSE: It started out as a cursory glance to see if there were many parallels between human and troll mythology. I wanted to know if there was indeed a Troll Zeus, ruining countless lives and countries by inopportune copulation. I didn't find anything particularly exciting on that front, but did you know that, somewhere in Alternia's history, they felt it necessary to not only write individual legends of each of their forty-eight constellations, but also find ways to subtly weave squid-related subtext into each and every one of them in various ways? At this point, it's basically mindless reading material, combined with an analysis-based Where's Waldo, except waldo is invariably some sort of stellar cephalopod.
ROSE: :She just sort of sits there and proudly accepts the clap.:
JOAN: some sort of nebulous octopus?
ROSE: :That probably sounded terrible out of context.:
JOAN: -on this episode of it's always sunny in dream bubbledelphia: rose gets the clap-
ROSE: :Never before had sapient life witnessed such mildly distraught Ben & Jerry's demolishment.:
ROSE: It's subtle, but more often than not it's merely looking for instances of unnecessary eights. For example, the story of one troll warrior who was finally killed by a spear through the blood push-er, the heart, and bled to death on a large, rocky outcropping, eight rivulets of blood spreading out like glistening tentacles.
JOAN: you really analyze that stuff in it?
ROSE: Joan, I've counted sixteen unironic uses of the term "squiddlyish" used as a descriptor for people, objects and scenery.
ROSE: The degree to which these squids are interwoven into these mythos would make underground Japanese mangakas shiver a little.
ROSE: We are, as some would so eloquently put it, up to our tits in squids, and I don't mean that as an unintentional jab at my height nor your physicalities.
JOAN: hahah, wow. have you found any other weird tentacle-y terms.
JOAN: like nautilistic?
JOAN: or squidalandish?
JOAN: or octopusy?
JOAN: ....scratch that last one.
ROSE: No nautilistic or octopusy, thankfully, but at least two tentaculars and one squidalandish, though the characters saying it were thoroughly inebriated, and it was played off as some sort of awkward dialect error.
JOAN: they have drunken gods, too?
JOAN: nevermind what i said earlier, this is actually kind of interesting.
JOAN: i mean.
ROSE: I find it hard to believe any mythology would involve gods and not have a single tale of them being utterly inebriated.
JOAN: oh, good. i was worried you were going to think i meant you were a drunken god.
JOAN: you were! but not now. though maybe sometimes.
ROSE: I cannot confirm nor deny what I may or may not attempt to sample infrequently as a matter of course and experimentation.
ROSE: I will say, though, that it turns out there's a reason Mother never brought home beer.
JOAN: blegh.
JOAN: oh man, i tried that not long ago.
JOAN: it's so gross!
ROSE: Precisely, Joan. Blegh to the utmost degree.
JOAN: uber blegh.
JOAN: we need a scale here.
JOAN: there's "this soup taste a little off" blegh.
JOAN: then, "i'm pretty sure this milk is going to go sour" blegh.
ROSE: On one end of the scale, a succulent cupcake made with discount sprinkles. On the other end of the spectrum, brownies made by someone with no concept of chocolate.
JOAN: like the taste version of looking at steve buscemi's weird messed up face.
ROSE: Sure, we'll go with that.
JOAN: there's our comparison for beer.
JOAN: like drinking steve buscemi's face.
JOAN: signed and sealed.
ROSE: I'm not sure if you'd want to drink that sort of thing. In the right circles, it might be worth something.
JOAN: -Joan finishes this statement with a flourish of her hand, leaving behind a trail of her own windy essence in the shape of her signature.-
ROSE: :Rose cocked a brow at the flourish, leaning back against the couch a little.:
JOAN: hehehe, neat huh?
JOAN: i figured out i could turn parts of myself into the windy thing without actually disspating completely.
JOAN: it's really cool and makes for excellent use when i need to scratch a hard to reach place on my back.
ROSE: Interesting. I'd voice envy, but I don't think turning into light is a particularly useful ability, unless one needs instantaneous travel in unpredictable directions.
ROSE: It's probably for the best that I'm not as dissolvable as you are in such regards.
JOAN: hey, whatever helps you get over the fact that you're tooooootally jealous.
JOAN: -Pulling her hand back together, Joan turns on the couch and lays back against Rose's thigh to use it as a pillow as she looks up at the pudgier girl.-
JOAN: hey, let me see your hand.
JOAN: whichever one you're not going to read with.
JOAN: -Joan lifts her hands, making a grabby motion to encourage Rose.-
ROSE: Yes, Joan. I'm clearly jealous, sitting in the corner with my innately monumental luck as well as almost omniscient ability to predict universally favorable outcomes.
JOAN: bluh, bluh, bluh! my name is rose and all my future vision and smarts couldn't stop joan from sneaking up on me.
ROSE: :She dutifully leaned back a little as the windier girl laid down, popping her book back into her sylladex as it became apparent reading was on hold, and shrugging, offering one pale hand. Her tummy squished ever-so-slightly against the other girl's head.:
JOAN: hehehehe. now come on, hand up.
ROSE: Hmph. It isn't my fault some people are occasionally intangible.
JOAN: -joan takes rose's hand and inspects it a little. after a second or two of eyeing it, she starts pressing her thumbs into the palm, rotating them against rose's hand in a circular motion.-
JOAN: don't jerk back, i'm just giving you a hand massage.
ROSE: When did you become an ameture massaure? Outside of slipping people joy buzzers, I mean. That clearly doesn't count.
JOAN: i play piano, dummy.
ROSE: Ah.
JOAN: you have to be pretty dextrous for that and take care of your hands.
ROSE: :She doesn't say much more, just sort of appreciating the rubbing. Mmn.:
JOAN: -Joan smiles, slowly working her fingers over the more taut and stressed parts of Rose's hand and wrist.-
JOAN: sorry i haven't been around lately.
ROSE: It's not a problem. Not that I don't appreciate your company greatly, but I know I'm hardly the best at staying in touch, and even if I weren't, I wouldn't hold it against you.
ROSE: :The heavyset girl slumped a little more, relaxing beneath Joan's head and hands, her free hand idly resting on the armrest of the couch.:
JOAN: that's good to hear. here i was thinking you were going to hate me for eternity for not sending you postcards or something. just think of how sad i would be because i, joan egbert, totally forgot to give you pretty cardboard to remind you of what good friends we are.
JOAN: heheh.
JOAN: -Joan slides her hands up further, kneading the meaty forearm leading up from Rose's hand.-
ROSE: Of course not. It's the thought that counts, and knowing you intended to send only the prettiest cardboard is reassuring, even if you never quite got around to it.
ROSE: :She smirked, though it was really more of a genuine smile as his hands slid up her arm, and she leaned over a bit to facilitate his wandering, eyes closing a little as she simply relaxed amidst their lazy conversation.:
JOAN: only the prettiest cardboard! harvested from the shoujo trees of the pageant queen forest and uh...processed by um...
JOAN: okay, that sort of got away from me.
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ROSE: Like I said, it's the thought that counts.
JOAN: hm.
JOAN: -Joan finishes up Rose's arm by patting it, making the squishy flab of the heavier girl's arm jiggle with each slight whap. Joan doesn't technically let go, though.-
JOAN: i could always sleep with you to make up for lost time.
JOAN: ...
JOAN: not like that.
JOAN: as in sleep together.
ROSE: :She just raises her brows at him.:
JOAN: there is no non-dirty way to say that, is there?
ROSE: Apparently not. But if you're looking for a sleepover, I can confirm my schedule is open.
JOAN: yes, that!
JOAN: not that i'd be opposed to the other thing, because you are pretty, but you know what i'm just going to stop talking about that before i bury myself in an attempt to undig my ditch.
JOAN: sleepover, yes.
ROSE: It's alright. If you end up too deep, I'll fashion a shovel from all the pretty cardboard and dig out back up, purely because I value your commitments.
ROSE: :Rose belatedly responded to the arm patting by gently fluffing Joan's hair with one hand, before stretching her shoulders a bit and shifting beneath the taller girl, slowly pushing herself into a sideways position on the couch, stretching her wide thighs out and getting comfortable.:
JOAN: hey, come on. i work hard to get my hair to look just the right amount of messy.
ROSE: I thought we were having a sleepover, Miss Chronic, Incurable Bedhead.
JOAN: it is important to always be ready to give people the best impression, miss i-always-wear-a-headband
ROSE: Now that's just a low blow.
ROSE: :She limply smapped Joan a bit with one arm, giving her a slighted glance as she rested her head on the armrest of the couch.:
JOAN: agh, i'm hit!
JOAN: hehehe. oh hey, what's this?
JOAN: -Joan sits up momentarily, noticing an odd lever sticking out of the couch on the armrest on the other side. Curiosity getting the better of her, she tugged on it and was rewarded for her fiddling with things with the backrest of the couch abruptly falling back, effectively morphing the couch into a bed on the spot.-
JOAN: ...
JOAN: well, we were aiming for a sleep over.
ROSE: :Needless to say, Rose abruptly fwumped onto her back, the armrest her head was on flipping down and leaving her sprawled out on the now-bed, pausing momentarily before she propped herself up on her elbows and glanced over her splayed belly at Joan.:
ROSE: ...well, I guess that's a thing now. I'm not sure why nobody ever documents these things.
JOAN: -joan just gives a sheepish smile and a shrug.-
JOAN: it's not exactly something we can gripe about. anyway, come here. you were a nice enough pillow earlier and it's the least i can do to return the favor.
JOAN: -Joan lies down next to Rose, lying back and allowing for her bosom to be used as the comfortable headrest it was made to be.-
ROSE: :Her brow raised a bit, and she sat up, before shrugging and scooting closer, velvet eyes meeting Joan's.:
JOAN: what?
ROSE: I'm plenty accustomed to being the designated cushion at the point, but I can see generous offer when I see one.
ROSE: :Shrugging, she slowly eased down, trying not to smush Joan's lower half too much as her head gently rested on that lavish chest and she casually nuzzled her face into Joan's top, between her breasts.:
JOAN: that has to be the most roundabout way of complimenting my boobs i've ever heard.
ROSE: Mmn. Perhaps someday I'll understand the proper way to say "yes, your breasts are suitably enormous to be used as personal cushions" without sounding either partially sarcastic or partially skeevy.
JOAN: -Joan smiles, Rose's weight actually a comfort of it's own as she lies against the busty heir's bosom. One arm comes up to lay itself gently on Rose's back as Joan closes her eyes, the other arm reaching up to take her glasses off and pocket them in her sylladex.-
JOAN: heh. i missed you, too.
ROSE: But speaking of awkward confessions, I'm not quite sure if I'm doing this right. Forgive me for my inexperience, but as I said, I'm usually the one being laid upon. Just let me know if you're uncomfortable.
JOAN: rose, i literally can't suffocate.
JOAN: if anyone is suited to giving you the chance to lie down on them, it's me.
ROSE: :She tilted her head up, peering at Joan through the canyon of her cleavage, responding to her arm by shifting more of her weight onto the thinner girl and gently wrapping her own arms around her friend.:
JOAN: there you go.
ROSE: I meant more having my head half-wedged in your bosom, but it's good to know that part isn't an issue either.
JOAN: -joan tilts her head down to look at rose with a smile, lifting her hand to fluff her hair.-
JOAN: as long as you're comfortable, you're not really doing anything wrong.
ROSE: :A tiny smirk crossed her face, hidden from Joan's view by Rose's chin being squished into her chest, and at the hair fluffing she closed her eyes and snuggled a bit closer.:
ROSE: I'll keep that in mind.
ROSE: And yes, I missed you too.
JOAN: just try not to drool, okay? this bra takes forever to wash.
JOAN: actually, hold on.
ROSE: Mhm?
JOAN: -With a flick of her wrist, Joan causes the restraining garment to vanish into her sylladex, upping the squishiness of her boobs.-
JOAN: much better!
JOAN: maximum relaxation is go.
ROSE: :Rose just gave a casual murmur into cleavage, thighs casually wrapped around one of Joan's legs a bit as her head palpably sank further into the busty girl's chest, and the extra splay offered by the lack of bra allowed her to rest her head on its side, nestled deeper between the plush mounds.:
ROSE: Much better. Not that you weren't already exquisite, as far as cushions go.
JOAN: shhhh. only sleep now.
JOAN: good night, rose.
ROSE: :She tossed Joan one last upwards glance as best she could with her head on the other girl's chest, before fluttering her eyes closed again and relaxing atop the heir.:
ROSE: Mhhnnight.