Regrets - MGNQ, Canon

The blonde girl shot up out of bed, kicking blankets off her body, sending a pillow flying. She panted heavily, bringing one hand up to pat the sweat off her brow. Her glorious curls damp, laying heavily against her forehead. She had that dream again... where she first met Matsuda. Her last major mission, before Kyubei-san had asked to to let the younger girls handle front line duty.

She had been fine with it, at the time. She was able to take a step back, relax, enjoy herself a little.

That was until a week ago, though.

When her world came crashing down.

When her two best friends finally had their... last fight.

Kirika and Matsuda's relationship never had been a good one. Somehow, they always got on each others nerves, and Matsuda's... spotty memory didn't help, either. Mami still kicked herself for that one; if only she had been faster, or if she had been the one to heal her, instead of Sayaka, maybe... maybe...

But none of that mattered anymore.

She kept thinking back to that day, thinking back to every move she made, every shot she fired. Sometimes, sitting here in the dark like this, she wished... maybe... she had just let the girl go. Just left her there, focused on the witch, been the professional and done her job.

Maybe... maybe Kirika would still be alive.

Recoiling from the thought, the blonde sobbed, unable to stop the flow of tears. Who was she?! Thinking of trading one of her best friends for another? At least... at least Kirika had Oriko. Kirika had lived her life, knew friendship, love, and passion.

Matsuda had no one.

But...

Matsuda spent her life drinking her worries away, trying to kill her emotions with painkillers, tried to chase away another that got too close. SHE certantly didn't want to live her life; she seemed to try to run from it, to immerse herself in her work, to push away any pain for the bloodlust filled moments in between.

It's not fair! Why did the one who loved life to it's fullest... have to be... to the one who didn't care.

On the roof, she had been filled with such despair. Two golden weapons, pointed at each other, and Mami knew, just knew, that only one ending would be the true one. A weapon would be without it's master by the end of the night.

But, she too had a golden rifle; beautiful ivory, filigree in gold. She too had felt it's siren's call, it's overwhelming strength, it's prefect fit in her hand.

She had never told them. Not even Kirika, when her eyes opened wide in shock and terror the first night the girl had shown the blonde the beautiful golden katana.

Even at the end, with a deadly shootout between the two impossible to avoid, they thought it their destiny, to destroy the only other person with one. Little did either know, that they weren't alone, that a third had been in their midst.

If they destiny as gold weapon users was to fight, to kill each other... Mami had done a marvelous job playing the other two, getting them to off one of their collective number for her.

Sobbing into the darkness, she clawed at her pillowed gripped between her long fingers.

It was her fault. She was suppose to have stopped them. Not lead them into a battle to the death.

Maybe... it should have been me...