Dear @realDonaldTrump #fuckyou #idiot

Here's you freedom of speech.
You, are a fucking waste of space, your life has equated to nothing more than repeated disappointment and giving you the wealth you've accumulated was gained off the hard work of others.
Did you ACTUALLY put the bolts into "Your" buildings?
Lay the wires?
Clean the windows?
No. All you did was put those giant faux gold letters up there with your tiny fingers like you were an easily disappointed ten year old art critic, which, when it comes to success, hey!
The irony is right there.

Speaking of disappointments, I think you should turn Trump University into a fast food joint, so that way you can mislead and and give people food poisoning all at the same time! Hell I bet the cows that "Steak" came from had mad cow disease and the tiny hand prints fingering their assholes to prove it too!

The very fact you think you can win the White House is stupid. I'm very tired, and I don't give a fuck. Than there's you vocabulary, only 200 words out of a possible ten thousand, hell, I've got ten thousand words, or maybe less. but I'm keeping it simple to make it easier to see how much you ACTUALLY mean to me. Because hey, while your banning Muslims, blocking the media, and taking away women's rights, you MIGHT actually give the U.S. to the British, therefor pissing off the zombified corpse of George MOTHERFUCKING Washington! Because that's a thing.

The thing about Freedom of speech is that it allows s to say what's on our minds, and while the only thing that'll happen is maybe a few angry Australians will tell me to piss off for mentioning the Captain Cook story, I can tell them to piss off when they sang that a hunchbacked, shaved, super tanned, abnormally large oompa loompa who looks like he got stuck in a drainage pipe won the white house, therefor proving to the rest of the world, that yes, this was an April Fools Day prank, and Fouseytube was at the center of it all.

Speaking of building a wall, draining the swamp, and putting Clinton in jail, how's that pipe dream coming along? Also, you're acting like more of a tyrant than a president, are you sure you weren't applying for a Kingdom in the Middle East next to the burning oil fields, so that way when people look your way they'll think that the sun is roaring towards them, and has a bad choice in wig makers?
No?
Really?
Are you sure?

Donald, no one fucking likes you. Your son Barron has a manga in which even he thinks this whole "Trumpresidency" is a bad idea. Let's talk a bit about Barron, the kid you're putting through all this hell, I mean, HOLY SHIT, you did NOT think about the kids with this failed plan of yours, did you?

I mean, just, FUCK, yeah, you won the hearts and minds of the uneducated with the first half of the election, where the people of these united States of america essentially had to choose between a server hiding and a shiny Pokemon, But now?
now's the electoral colleges turn, and HOLY FUCK! you have no chance in hell here, I mean, yeah, with the recounts going on and every new tweet spouting out of your mysteriously tiny penis hole, otherwise known as your ENTIRE twitter account, you're... just not surviving this shipwreck known only as your President-Electency, are ya?

Nope.
Look, everyone knows that Fousey is behind this, and he's going to run out in front of the camera and scream "It's just a prank bro!" then we'll all have a giant laugh, even those who supported your balls out crazy ideas, because sometimes, the no kid left behind simply drops a few along with way.

That being said, let's turn back to Barron.
Sweet kid, honestly, I wish no ill will on, at, towards, above, below, or around him. Seriously though, and I'm going to turn off "Asshole" mode here for a second, because mental health is kind of a big issue with you.

Barron does indeed either show signs of Autism, whichever end of the spectrum he's on. And i'm sure that should you request it, the teachers and hell, even the school board itself will be more than happy to transfer the teachers over to the White House so that Barron can get the help that he needs.

"Asshole" Mode, re-engaged.

Look, Don "Cornholio" Ald, no one needs you in office, nor do they need your bullshit level tiny hands molesting the very freedoms we so richly enjoy. You know we're the laughing stock of the world right now? I heard Kim Jong Un laughing his eighties fro'd head off while failing to launch a missile at you, because HOLY SHIT he can launch missiles not like his now deceased dad can launch boner pills and claim he's a happy unicorn. Because in your mind, all things are possible. All things.

Speaking of deceased, you have to wonder just what the fuck is going to happen on the falsely promised day, seriously! just like, holy fuck! how pissed are people going to be that you lied, backslid, and simply tried to make deals while NOT EVEN THE FUCKING POTUS? you're only the PEOTUS, which I'm pretty sure is a dirty sex act involving returning a dead parrot and screeching in high tones to achieve orgasm.

You're security better beef itself up, because someone more dedicated to holding their elects words up their ass than me is going to either grab their old timey civil war rifle and chuck it like a god damned spear at your fact check denying undulating multi-chin and they're going to either be reviled or celebrated as the man or woman who slew the raging oompa loompa. Because Willy wonks boat ride fucked all of us in our childhood innocence that day.