New Management: Kamen Rider Guard

Mike Schmidt stood there on the stage, frozen in shock. Hell opened up, monsters started attacking, his bosses show up, seemingly out of thin air, and offer him some creepy bargain to save his robot girlfriend, and now he was wearing some sort of super suit that had appeared LITERALLY out of thin air!

His breathing came in ragged, freaked out bursts. Suddenly a little warning appeared in the lower right hand corner of his vision, the lenses of his suit projecting information like in a video game.

[MENTAL STRESS - CRITICAL LEVELS - BREATHING ERRATIC]

Yeah, no shit magic suit, of course he was freaking out! His body felt electrified, like he had drunk a gallon’s worth of different energy drinks all mixed together. His fingers twitched.

“Kshht- Mister Schmidt.” Oh of COURSE they could talk to him through some radio in the suit. He was worried he might have a moment to himself during this impossible crisis!

“Mister Schmidt. You need to calm down and focus. In an optimal situation, you would have been trained extensively to make use of the G System, but for now we’re going to have to play it by ear. The suit is designed to work -with- you, so please don’t strain yourself resisting it.” Said Faulten.

“Resisting? Is this thing supposed to take control of my fucking body?!” Mike shouted.

“No,” She said, exasperatedly. “It’s designed to enhance your natural reflexes and combat instincts. The sooner you stop treating it like a shell and more like an extension of your body, the sooner you can-“

“I’m sorry but WHAT? Look, I’m not letting this thing get into my brain!”

“I SAID it doesn’t-“

“HELL!” Faulten’s explanation was interrupted when one of the hell soldiers finally took notice of Mike, and moved forward to strike him, swinging down his trident on his head. Mike screamed in fear, winding as he anticipated the blow, but stopped when he realized the blow never came.

His arm had shot forward, grasping the wrist of the attacker and holding tight. The demon man squirmed in agony as Mike’s hand squeezed with enough force to make him drop the weapon. Mike stared at his own unconscious act in utter shock.

“What. The. Fuck.”

“Reflexes and combat instinct, just as I said Mister Schmidt. Just remember your personal defense training, and focus on saving the hostages. Hopefully it should come naturally.

“HOPEFULLY?” Responded Mike.

“Like I said, this is a rather slapdash first implementation of the G System in live combat. If we had more time we could have a better projection of battle success. It’s all-“

By this point the Demon had regained its vigor, and reared back its free hand to punch Mike hard in the stomach. Mike tried to push away with the arm gripping the demon’s wrist, but it was too late.

It felt like someone threw a potato at his stomach, and not very hard at that. Once again by freaky super instinct, Mike followed up with a punch of his own strait for the monster’s jaw. He could see the spandex ripple around his fist as the strike hit, and feel the force of the punch shake up his wrist through his arm
That much force should have at least strained the fuck out of his hand… but he felt fine. Not even sore.

The beast flew through the air, landing to the ground with a sickening thud, smoke beginning to rise up from his body. That one wasn’t getting back up.

Mike stared at his gloved hand in terrified awe. “Holy -shit-.”

Suddenly, he snapped back to reality. The soldiers around him had noticed the scuffle and were circling around him. He noticed a lot of them had different weapons. Whips, swords, a few had fucking SYTHES.

A sort of pulsing, electric thrill went through Mike, and it wasn’t just the suit. For a lot longer than just his hell-week at Freddy’s, he’d dealt with feelings of powerlessness. Even when things were going good for him, he got his ass handed to him by a drunk deadbeat. But now, ohhhhh but NOW! HE was the one who’d be handing out ass to everyone! It was a goddamn fire-sale giveaway! Form an orderly line for free ass-handings, assholes! We’ve got warehouses full of ass and everything. Must. GO.

Plus, with him getting everyone’s attention, that bought more time for Bonnie and everyone else.

He tensed up, took a power stance, and looked around at the growing crowd of attackers. He held out his hand, palm-side up, and made a come-here gesture.

The first one to charge got a full-on Norris roundhouse to the ribs, and knocked over his buddies behind him like a bowling ball. This was their signal to attack en masse.

Mike’s arms and legs became a flurry of motion, blocking, punching, kicking, chopping. One of the scythe-wielding ones charged forward at him, but he just twisted the bastard’s arms around, took his weapon, then kicked him back into the crowd. Immediately, he began swinging the stolen scythe around like he’d used one for years, black-purple oil spurting through the air and he cut through them.

As the crowd began to thin, and rapidly deflated body-suits littered the stage, Mike noticed that not a lot more soldiers were joining in.

“What’s the mattered? Scared now that someone’s fighting back?!” Shouted mike, adrenaline rushing through his head.

Then a massive metal fist slammed down upon the stage inches in front of him. Mike yelped.

“SO…” Boomed the mass of drills and spikes that had spearheaded the assault, finally done overwatching the capture of every member of the press in the audience. “ITS TRUE THE HUMANS WERE DEVELOPING A WEAPON TO DEFY US!”

The behemoth drew back his hand and glared down at the human before him. “AND THEY GIVE IT TO A SNIVELING COWARD. I CAN SMELL IT ON YOU, HUMAN. YOUR BODY IS DRENCHED WITH FEAR. DO YOU THINK ONE MORTAL SOUL, FRAIL AND CORRUPT, CAN STAND AGAINST THE MIGHT OF US?”

He threw back his arms, showing off his body pridefully. “THE MIGHT OF CRIMSON HELL?!”

“SOLDIERS! EXTERMINATE THIS GERM! ENTERTAIN ME WITH HIS GRUESOME FATE!”

From the rafters, glowing red beams of light shot out, and the closer the got, Mike realized they were arrows. They sunk into the stage, but as he dodged, one hit his shoulder and his body seized in pain, sparks flying from his suit.

‘Okay, the suit doesn’t make you invincible. Good to know,’ he thought to himself.

More soldiers, these ones a little bigger and wearing huge armored pads on their shoulders, moved onto the stage. Mike shook out the pain in his shoulder and got back into a combat stance. He probably looked ridiculous mirroring the poses he saw from too many cheap kung fu flicks, but it seemed to work well enough for the suit to work with.

These boys were definitely tougher, taking more direct hits to take down. He kept hitting them but they kept coming back up.

“You need to take advantage of the suit’s capabilities better!” Shouted Faulten in his ear. “Tense your wrist, think about subduing them!”

Puzzled, Mike followed her instruction. As he flexed his wrists, two poles shot forth from the armored sections on his forearm, and the crackle of electricity filled the air. Mike chuckled to himself. What’s a guard without his trusty taser?

He jammed the poles straight into the gut of the big-fucker he was having trouble with. He twitched in agony as the voltage seared his suit. he fell to his knees, and Mike followed up with a strong kick to the forehead, knocking him cold.

He turned to check on where Bonnie and those kids were hunkered down. Good, he’d drawn away most of the heat on them. As he was about to turn away back to the fight… he saw her looking at him, straight into his eyes, or lenses in this case. He hesitated for a second, unconsciously grabbing the arm of a guy attacking from behind and judo-slamming him off to the side.

He shook his head clear, he’d check on her once the immediate threat was taken care of.

Shit, more arrows. LOTS more arrows. They were everywhere in the rafters. And it was a hailstorm of red falling down upon the stage. He ducked and doges as best he could, but every other few seconds an arrow would hit. DAMN those things hurt.

“You need to fight them at range. Left-hand side, on your belt.” Instructed Faulten.

Mike reached down, and felt something that definitely wasn’t attached to the belt when he first put it on. He inspected it, a walkie talkie.

“What, am I supposed to call them and ask them to stop?”

“Turn the antenna.”

He did, and made a quick “Ohhh” of realization. The thing was a gun! At least he hoped it was and he hadn’t just broken a normal walkie.

Experimentally, he pointed it at one of the archers above, and pulled the switch that had become its trigger.

With a satisfying PEW, it shot forth a burst of energy and struck the baddy square in the chest.

There came another pop-up in his vision. [Walk-Shooter Active - Engaging targeting system] And suddenly, targeting reticles danced across his vision, centering on three more archers.

Mike grinned and posed like a fancy trick-shooter. *PEW PEW PEW* Three more down.

He twirled the gun in his hand and prepared to blow out smoke from the barrel. As fucked up as this situation was, he couldn’t help but feel kinda badass.

His pride was harshly cut down by immediately being slammed to the ground by the big guy’s metal fist.

His face was unchanging, but Mike could -feel- the sneer the monster was making at him. “WORM! YOU THINK YOU ARE ANYTHING MORE THAN A PAPER TIGER IN FRONT OF A FURNACE?! I SHALL SHOW YOU TRUE MIGHT, WEAK FILTH!” He began to rev up his drills, the deafening mechanical noise filling the air.

“PRAY FOR MERCY HUMAN, FOR YOU SHALL BE SHOWN NONE BY I! OUTRIDER COMMANDER OF CRIMSON HELL, GENERAL SOULDOZER!”

Mike tensed up for a real fight, before shouting from above and behind caught his attention. “Shove yer medals in the face of someone else, ye scurvy coward!”

Suddenly, swinging from the rafters came… FOXY?! His suit was torn and tattered, and he was covered in flecks of black. In his jaws he held a stolen sword, and he was holding on to some kind of industrial cable, soaring through the air and landing on the Dozer thing’s shoulders.

“AHA! SCOUNDREL! ANY FOOL ON THESE SEAS SHOULD KNOW IF YOU BOARD A MAN’S SHIP, YE BEST BE READY TO FACE THE CAPTAIN!” Yelled Foxy, unhingedly.

He began swiping with his sword at the creature’s face, dodging its clumsy attempts to punch him off. Wasn’t designed to fight something on his own shoulders, Mike surmised.

Mike was about to open fire on the big thing, help Foxy out, when he heard a familiar shriek. Hell soldiers had started tearing down Bonnie’s shelter, and were getting dangerously close. One began jabbing their pitchfork through a widening crack in the wooden facade.

Mike was halfway to her before he even realized he was moving. With a flying kick, a taser pole extended from his boot and jabbed into the creature’s neck, frying him instantly. He picked the next one up by his shoulders and threw him into the third. A sudden strong pulse of instinct directed him to reach behind himself, detaching something from the back of his belt.

A baton, like riot police would have, with a handle sticking out at a right angle. Perfectly cylindrical, and made of some dense, heavy metal. In his hands it came to life, the parts of it extending out to reveal glowing blue light. He twirled it in his hand, and felt it move with a palpable kinetic WHOOMF.

He stared at the one still tearing at the wood, and narrowed his eyes. He could feel the thing’s skull crack under the strike of his truncheon, black smoke pouring around his weapon.

With the attackers downed, he pulled away the wood separating him and Bonnie. She panicked at first, scrambling backwards, but stopping when she realized he wasn’t one of them.

“Bonnie! It’s me!” He says, hurriedly, holding out his hand for her to take.

Instead, he feels the soft thud of her body colliding into his as she embraced him, nuzzling into his shoulder and gently keening. “Mike…” She mumbled, delirious with worry, and some small relief he was still alive. She bulled back and looked at him with her big watery eyes. “What’s going on? Who are these people? Why, why are you wearing that?”

“In the order of your questions, I don’t know, I REALLY don’t know, and -to keep you safe-. You need to move -now-. I’ll keep these guys distracted, you need to get yourself and those kids out of here, asap.”

Bonnie shook her head. “Mike, I’m not leaving you behind! I can’t just-“

Mike put his hand on her shoulder. “Bonnie. It has -always- been my job to protect you. This is just my time, to.. to rise to the task. Don’t worry about me. Please. For my sake, keep yourself alive.”

Mike stopped as one of the kids who had been hiding behind Bonnie started tugging on the pantsleg of his suit. He looked down to see the kid, brown hair in pigtails, freckles, clutching a Chica plushy.

“Mister power ranger? Are you gonna stop the badguys?” It asked in a twee little voice. He looked at all the kids. Their faces were streaked with snot and tears, telling him they’d only recently stopped crying their heads off.

“Er…” Mike replied, suddenly feeling very awkward. They were all -staring- at him so expectantly. s..

He turned to Bonnie, who gave hi a concerted look that said ‘Play along with it, please.’

Mike sighed. He couldn’t say no to that face. It wasn’t like he DIDN’T look like something out of a kid’s superhero show.

He looked down at the kid and gave her a thumb’s up. “Yeah kid. I’m here to save they day.” She brightened, but he probably needed to but more oomph in it to reassure the other kids.

He put on an overly heroic pose, arms swung out to his sides. “That’s right! Feel no fear kids! Because I! Uh… I am…” Shit, what was the name Kougami shouted earlier? Oh yeah- “I am Kamen Rider Guard! Protector of, uh, children!”

Bonnie gave him an encouraging push, urging him to keep it going. It did seem to cheer the kids up a bit more. It felt dumb as hell posturing while all this shit was going down but… Maybe there was something to why the crew loved performing for kids so much.

“Defender of justice! Keeping a watchful eye against the forces of evil!” Heh… He was starting to like this. Suddenly he whirled around, catching eye on a group of hell soldiers trying to encroach on the safe-zone.

“EVIL DOERS!” He shouted, pointing heroically. “You’re not getting anywhere near these kids! I’ll beat you down with my HAMMERS OF JUSTICE!” He felt a surge of energy, almost like the suit was feeding off of his bravado.

He ran forward, clocking one in the jaw with a righteous uppercut, and immediately ducking into a spinning kick, sweeping another off his legs. The third got a baton to the gut, and his suit burst, billowing black smoke.

Mike turned back to fave the kids, giving a dynamic Thumbs Up pose. The kids applauded, along with Bonnie, but just as he was about to wave them off to urge them to get moving, the stage floor behind Bonnie erupted.

“HELL!” Shouted the brawny soldier, as he grabbed Bonnie by the wrists. She screamed and tried to fight him off, but he was stronger than most other mooks.

 Mike saw her joints strain and creak, trying to hold him back. His vision went red, and time seemed to slow down.

“You get your damn dirty hands OFF OF HER!” Electricity moved through his leg muscles, and the floor splintered beneath every footfall as he dashed for the freak assaulting Bonnie.

As he ran, he reared back his fist to strike, and another HUD element piped up saying [Charging Special: RIDER PUNCH]. He felt the muscles in his arm tighten, tense as steel cables, then release, firing his fist like a bullet straight into the monster’s chest.

The collision was louder than a gunshot, and for a brief flash Mike saw the creature’s ripple before shooting through the hall and slamming into the wall, leaving a sizable impact crater.

Mike stood there, steam rising from his extended arm, his lenses glowing bright orange.

“None of you. Lay your hands. On her.” Mike said, breathing heavily between snippets of speach.

+++

Bonnie and the kids stared in wide-eyed disbelief, until one boy started cheering, and the other kids joined in. Bonnie just stared. Mike turned his head to face hers.

“Take the kids. And Go. Now.”

His voice breaking out of her stupor, she nodded, but then paused. A message appeared in Mike’s HUD.

[Detecting compatible G System Module - Initiating extraction]

Bonnies eyes flashed a rainbow of colors, then she shook her head in confusion, before coughing slightly. She coughed harder, and on the fourth, a single silver coin shot out from her mouth.

Mike caught it by reflex, and took turns staring at it and her in utter confusion. She was as confused as he was.

On the coin was an image of Bonnie herself, and on the back, a large stylized G. He turned it over in his hands, a little grossed out.

“Uh, do you normally eat… coins?” He asked her. She shook her head, hands over her mouth in fear of another one popping out.

Faulten’s voice came in over his headset. “You’re going to need that. Insert it into the belt module. There’s a slot on the side.”

“What? WHY?! What in the hell does a coin shooting out of my girlfriend’s head, have to do with this crazy suit?!”

“Explanations later. Coin now. You have hostiles incoming and more hostages to save.”

Damn her but she was right, he needed to act. He shook his head in disbelief and searched his belt for the coin slot, then dropped the coin in.

The belt came to life once more, blaring out “TOKEN. ACCEPTED. SECURE IT!”

Mike was once again surrounded by light, and when it cleared, his suit had changed. Looking down, he saw his legs were incased in weird spring-loaded supports that were suspiciously rabbit-foot-esque. The color of his armor pieces had turned a rich lavender, just like bonnie’s, and the “spandex” of the suit a darker purple. His chest-piece was now heart shaped, and as he felt along his helmets cap, he felt the outer bumps raise much longer, forming bunny ear shapes.

Mike bounced on the balls of his feet experimentally, there was a powerful tension in the supports behind his calves. It felt like his legs were rubber bands pulled to their max, and he had a feeling he could jump to the ceiling if he wanted.

“BONNIE FORM - JUMPING JACK FLASH!” announced his belt. Alright. Sure. Why not.

Bonnie looked at him, actually looking a little starstruck. Mike sighed and gestured to GET THE FUCK OUT of there. She nodded, and bid the children to follow her as they snuck around towards an exit.

Mike scanned the area, deciding to put this new “form” to the test. He saw more hell-soldiers dragging off a couple techs. Mike bent his legs, took a deep breath, and leapt.

He shot across the room like a bullet. With a sudden surge of panic he realized he would hit the wall past those soldiers head first, and flipped himself around mid air, landing legs-first. His springs absorbed the force of the impact, and he quickly aimed towards the soldier closest to him before launching off the wall, this time shooting out one of the legs to collide with his head.

That pretty much was the end of that guy, and Mike used the impact to stop himself, landing in front of the other. Quickly, he shot him with a flip kick, sending him skyrocketing, and kicking him hard and straight just as he fell back down to leg-hight. He helped the techies up and told them to find a way out, call for help, etc.

Satisfied they were fine, Mike scanned for his next target. There were still a lot of hell soldiers attacking the performers. Maybe Bonnie wasn’t the only one who could shoot out magical upgrade coins?

“God. My life is a fucked up video game now wasn’t it?’ He though to himself. ‘Nevermind, need to focus, need to focus.’

He saw a lot of commotion, then heard the roaring of a grizzly bear, punctuated by a pair of hell soldiers getting tossed through a booth.

“Freddy?” asked Mike aloud. He ran towards the source of the sound, made quicker by his leg enhancements.

+++


He skidded to a halt once he reached his destination, and sure enough there was Freddy, tearing his way through a crowd of the fuckers. He would lift up two, smash their skulls together and toss them like crumpled soda cans. Mike suddenly felt very grateful that there was no ill-will between he and Freddy any more.

Mike was about to jump in and help, when he saw Freddy get struck with five pitchforks at once, electrity sparking out of his jaws as he roared an fell to his hands.

Mike felt another surge of anger, and another message popped up. [FINAL STRIKE - BONNIE FORM ACTIVE]

He felt a pull towards his belt, and the little lever that was part of the coin-slot thing lit up. He pulled the lever, and felt energy run wild through his legs. He grit his teeth and leaped into the air above the horde.

His legs began to blaze with bright purple energy, and his legs acting out of control, began to bicycle kick through the crowd. As he knocked their skulls asunder, he left a trail of blazing fire, and once he landed on the other side of the mass of soldiers, the fire erupted into an explosion of energy, taking out the stragglers.

As he felt the suit cool down from that massive exertion, the additions from the Bonnie token dissipated into specks of light, leaving his “regular” outfit in its stead.

‘Seems those big finishers burn them out.’ he thought to himself. Rushing over, he helped Freddy to his feet. “You alright big guy?” He asked.

“Michael… is that you? I’m fine, rrgnh… I’m fine. The others are in danger. I saw Foxy go wild and I don’t know where Chica or Bonnie are.”

“Bonnie’s safe. I made sure of that.”

“Good man… heh… Quite the show eh?” Freddy said, coughing up smoke.

“Freddy, if you can move on your own, you need to try and find a way out, round up what robots you can and keep together. I need to try and.. I don’t know, -contain- this or whatever.”

“I should be fine in a minute, I need to let my circuits cool a bit. Can you explain what you’re doing in that getup?”

“Nope.” Shrugged Mike. “You’d probably have better chance of knowing anything, your closer to Faulten than I am.”

Fred looked at him with a deadpan expression. “I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.”

Mike chuckled to himself. “Alright, well for now I’m flying blind with no idea what I’m doing.”

“You seem to be proving yourself well so far Mister Schmidt. Don’t discredit yourself so HHRFKFK-“ Freddy shook, then deposited another token. Mike hadn’t even noticed the alert on his HUD.

Mike nabbed it before it hit the ground. Just like the last one, but with Fred’s face on it this time. He thought he ought to save it for later, knowing now that these things wore off eventually. He remembered the belt had some of those coin-dispenser things you’d see people working in arcades wearing. These coins were probably the reason for them. He futzed with a second, and managed to deposit the fred-token in one.

“What just happened?” Asked Freddy, totally bewildered.

“More of that ‘flying blind’ thing. Just, don’t worry about it for now. Gotta put on a strong face for the kids, right man?”

Freddy nodded, and got up slowly. “I’ll continue to help the robots. You rescue the press.”

Mike gave a quick salute and dashed off.

++++++

Alright, the press were all corralled over by the arcade booths. Annnnd there was some freaky glowing rune shit on the ground in a circle around them, a few guards every ten feet or so.

Mike ducked behind a booth advertising a bunch of new plush toys. Oh hey they have some of that carrot Bonnie likes. Cute.

 Alright. He had to think this through, doing this stupid and rushing in could get a lot of people hurt. Maybe now was a good time to use that fred token?

“PSSST. Robocop guy!” Whispered someone to his left.

Mike looked to see a mass of Foxy plushes move slightly. “I’ve been watching dese guys for a while now. They don’t change shifts or nuthin’. So I’m thinkin’, you distract him with all your crazy kung-fu stuff and I sneak up and take’em out all stealthy-like!” To emphasize that point, a pizza cutter popped out of the mass of plush toys.

“Wait… I know that accent. Chica?”

“Who wants to know?” Asked the mound suspiciously.

“Chica, It’s me, Mike!”

“Pfft, what? That was YOU on the stage?” Cica said, popping her head out of the plush-pile to get a better look.

“Yeah yeah, Its hilarious, now -keep your head down-.”

Chica emerged from the pile, crawling under the counter to keep from being seen. “Nah, don’t take it dat way Moikee! I’ve always liked the athletic type~” She said, batting her eyelashes at him.

“Please stop.”

“Pft, be that way. A Goil can’t crack a joke?”

“Chica this is a serious fucked up Demon-Hostage situation!” Mike said, in hushed but agitated tones. “Look. You stay here, I’ll take care of this. I’ll just, Idunno, shoot something in the distance that could explode and distract them.”

“A real ironclad battelplan ‘dere Moike.”

“Yeah yeah, let me THINK okay? Jeeze.”

But as they were talking, another figure jumped out from behind a booth two doors down from them, catching the attention of the guards.

“HEY YOU SORRY SUCKERS!” Shouted Goldy Fazbear. “You tacky assholes think you can crash MY show? Take this!”

Goldy then proceeded to shadow-box at the hell soldiers, kicking and chopping witha lot of exaggerated “HI-YAH”s.

One guard walked up and zapped him with a fork, sending Goldy tot he ground instantly. More of the guards walked over and started pummeling him while he was down.

“Well, dere’s your distraction.” Muttered Chica, who suddenly twitched, and acted like the previous bots and coughed up a token with her face on it with a confused “B’GOK?!”

“I’ll explain later,” Said Mike. “You stay here.”

Mike ran ahead, taking out his Baton. Thankfully, Goldy’s innate punchable-ness was playing in Mike’s favor, drawing out a lot of the guards to take turns and beat the crap out of him. Mike just needed to quickly whack the remaining guards into submission, then take the cluster attacking Goldy out, then deal with the weird glowey shit. He held his finger to his mouth in a ‘shhh’ gesture to the crowd of hostages, and thankfully they managed to not alert the guards to his presence.

After a few good thumps with the trusty truncheon, Mike turned his attention back to the Goldy beatdown. He drew his Walk-Shooter, and let it charge up before firing, producing a huge ball of energy that burst in a bright flash, knocking over several of them at once and dazing them. The rest were easy enough to mop up.

He gave Goldy a quick nod of thanks, who returned it with a thumbs up and a smile full of broken teeth.

Mike tried rubbing out the rune with his foot. That didn’t work. neither did shooting at it. Urging the folks near him to back up, he focused his mind on doing another one of those super punches, and the suit cooperated, letting him pound the ground with a super strong punch, breaking the chain of runes and dispelling whatever the hell they were going to do. Satisfied the coast was clear, he directed the people towards the nearest exit.

Or at least, that’s what he would have done, had he not nearly been struck a flying red blurr that crashed into the ground in front of him. The people scattered in fear, and Mike realized that it was Foxy.

Oh hell… the front of his face was completely torn away, his hook had been torn off.. and oh lord he was missing a leg.

Mike knelt down and lifted him up by the shoulders. “Foxy! Foxy! Can you hear me?”

Foxy’s eyes flashed like a dying lightbulb before flicking back to life. “A-ah-ah… Mister SCHMIDT! Good-see-see-seein’ you’re hale and hearty la-a-aaad.”

“Shit, Foxy you’e in a real bad shape. I-I don’t know how to help you!”

“A cap-captiain ought look out for ‘is crew lad. Tis only properr-rr… Like ye are lad. Finest first made I ever haa-aad…”

“GOING to STILL have Foxy.” Insisted Mike. “Don’t give out on me man, Just, hold on. I’ll get help, I’ll get one of the techies to hook you up to something I don’t know just-“

“I did good today, right lad?” he asked with sudden clarity in his voice. “I did good, right?”

Mike looked him square in the eye. “You did good, Foxy.”

He smiled with relief. “Ah… Thank ye lad… Ought to make up for past mistakes… Good for the… soul…” He twitched and coughed up a token, before suddenly freezing up. “UNIT POWER AT CRITICAL LOW - ENTERING SLEEP MODE TO CONSERVE BATTERY.” The light fading from his eyes.

Okay. He’s just in sleep mode. It sure FELT like he died, but he’s fine. he’s a robot, they can just… FIX him. He’s lying in your arms completely motionless but its fine. Everything’s fine.

Chica ran up, hands over her beak. “Moikee! What happened, is… is that?”

Mike nodded. “He’s fine. Just. Resting.” His voice coming out in tight, controlled bursts. “Get him outside. Get everyone outside.”

He stared at the massive machine monster back towards the stage. He seemed to be licking his wounds from Foxy’s attack.

‘I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.’ Thought Mike.

He got up, dusted himself, and walked back towards the stage, ignoring Chica’s worried questions.

He idly toyed with the Foxy token, shifting it from finger to finger.

+++++++

The Soul Dozer roared in frustration. Damnable humans and unruly toys were making a MOCKERY of his glorious assault! Spitefully, he took the leg he tore off of that mangy beast and fed it into his grinder, savoring the squeal of metal being crushed. “NOW. IF THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER INTERRUPTIONS…” Growled the Soul Dozer, “BRING ME THE HEAD OF THAT ACCURSED HUMAN!”

“Here it is, with the whole body attached, free of charge!” Shouted a cocky voice coming up from behind him. The Dozer whirled around on his wheels to see the human standing before him, hands on his hips.

“Hey, so. You and your buddies have been making a hell of a mess, and are completely ignoring safety procedures, so…” He raised his gun, levelling it at the Dozer’s head. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Hnnn hnn hnn-hnnnn…” Chuckled the Monster. “SO… THE HUMAN FINDS HIS BRAVADO?”

Mike fired at the Dozer’s head multiple times, saying nothing.

The shots had little effect. “HA! YOUR PATHETIC TOYS MAY HAVE WORKED ON THE RANK AND FILE, BUT I, GENERAL SOUL DOZER, A TRUE AGENT OF SIN ITSELF, IS MADE OF STERNER STUFF!”

The mad machine laughed as it raised its hand and brought it down upon the human. But not before he heard a tinny voice say “TOKEN ACCEPTED! SECURE IT!”

The fist hit true upon the human, but… There was no satisfying splat, nor crunch!

“WHAT?” Growled the beast in confusion.

The Rider beneath his fist’s armor had changed once again, now Bronze and Brown, badge altered to resemble the shape of a bear’s head, and massive paws with gleaming steel claws replaced his hands.

“FREDDY FORM: URSA MAJOR!”

Said paws where above his head, pushing back the Dozer’s arm with tremendous strength. Suddenly, The human tightened his grip and PULLED, actually managing to yank the massive collection of machinery forward, his rear wheels raising up in the air for a split second.

The Dozer snarled in pain as his arm joints were tested, but remained resolute, sweeping at the human with his free hand. The human warrior was knocked to the side, but picked himself up quickly afterwards. With a cry of fury he leaped forward, swiping with his claws, scoring the side of the Dozer’s forearm.

“GRAAAAAAH!” he yelled, revving up his drills and punching at the annoyance.

Like a wild animal, the warrior ran full tilt towards The Dozer’s flank, dodging the strike and tearing into his front left wheel. Sparks flew as he left gaping clawmarks in its side.

Making a disquieting sucking sound of pain, the Dozer revved his wheels, nearly hitting the warrior with his wheel-spikes. But the insect proved to quick, dodged out of the way. The Dozer punched again, and the human was forced to try and block the brunt of the attack, the wrist-mounted drill inches from his face.

Suddenly, the human’s strength surged, and they rested one arm free to press a lever at its belt, and suddenly its claws began to glow bright white. Knocking away the Dozer’s fist, the human swiped its claws in an X formation, and blades of light shot out from his claws, cutting into the Dozer’s arm. Small explosions racked the extremity, sparks and smoke pouring out in excess.

++++

Mike panted, that last one was a doozy. Still, he clearly was doing something right with how loudly the big bastard was screaming.

The Machine glowered at him, eyes glowing pure red.

“GRRRRRR…. HUMAAAAAAANNNN! YOU WILL WITNESS FROM HELL, AS I SLAUGHTER EVERY LAST THING YOU TREASURE! YOUR DEFIANCE HERE WILL ONLY ADD TO THEIR SUFFERING!”

Oh yeah Mike was shaking in his god-damned boots.

Suddenly, the Dozer placed his good hand on the ground, and a red glow emitted from it into the floor. As he rose his hand, another squad of hell soldiers arose from the ground.

Mike rolled his eyes. More of these goons? Fine… Maybe Chica had something good for dealing with crowds…

“TOKEN, ACCEPTED! SECURE IT!”

Another lightshow, and this time his armor had become Bright Yellow. The badge armor was now a circle with a slice missing at the top, and his crest was more more like a ballcap. He moved his arms, realizing he now had a pair of icarus-like metal wings. Furthermore, something jangled at his sides. He reached down to find…

Pizza cutters. Of course.

“CHICA FORM: FLYING SLICE”

Mike looked at the slicers in his hands and shrugged, taking aim and flinging them at the oncoming hellmonkeys.

The blades did their work, cutting into their suits, before exploding in a bust of orange. “Whoa shit.” Muttered Mike. “Okay…”

He grabbed more, and saw a faint glow before two more took their place on his belt. It seemed like the supply of cutters would keep replenishing ’til this form burnt out. Kickass.

He tossed a few more to keep the jerks at bay, before giving his wings an experimental flap. He had this innate sense that he couldn’t quite fly, but some extended gliding on the other hand…

He took a running leap and extended his arms, soaring through the air, buzzing the mooks. Thinking quickly, he turned to go back over them, but this time lowered himself to sail THROUGH the crowd, cutting through them with the edges of his wings. Showers of sparks and smokes implied his idea was on-point.

The Dozer slammed his fist down at him again, even squashing some of his own guys. “Not much of a team player, huh big guy?” Shouted Mike, who landed back on the stage with a flourish.

The Spiky machine narrowed his eyes. “HUMANNNNNN… WHAT ARE YOU?!”

Mike extended his finger, pointing dramatically. “I’m the thing standing between you and innocent people.”

He stepped forward, lungs filling with fire that he infused into every word. “I’m the watchful eye striking down monsters like you! I’m the protector of the innocent! I am Kamen Rider GUARD! You’ve terrorized the innocent, threatened the lives of children, and hurt people I love. As long as I live, I will NEVER let anyone feel so powerless again.”

Mike drew his hand to the token lever. “And I’m about to kick your fucking ass.”

The wings began to glow yellow, and Mike had to fight from losing his lunch as he suddenly launched into  the air at insane speed, leaving a streak of yellow light behind him.

The Dozer was suddenly criss-crossed with a dozen slices of light, Mike slicing into him from every angle. Mike Landed on the floor, wings dissipating as explosions of energy rocked the Dozer’s body. His badly damaged arm was on its last legs. ‘All according to plan…’

The Behemoth screamed, fury overtaking him. He whirled around, body wreathed in smoke and fire, eyes blazing. He slammed his fists over and over into the ground, taking turns between punching and swiping at him, trying to grab him and feed him into his crushers.

Mike deployed the last token, Foxy’s. “Let’s see what the captain’s got for me.”

“TOKEN, ACCEPTED. SECURE IT!”

“FOXY FORM: HOOK, LINE, SINKER!”

Bright red suit, bone-white armor segments in the shape of skulls. A proper captain’s hat affixed on his head. Claws on his left hand, some kind of cannon-winch system on his right, with a huge, deadly hook loaded to be fired.

Mike rolled his neck and worked out the stiffness in his shoulders, then pointed his clawed index finger straight at the Dozer. “You’re walking the plank, ASSHOLE!”

The beast roared, reared back his damaged hand, which was Mike’s signal. He was hoping for some way to do this, and Foxy’s token gave him exactly what he needed.

He brought his cannon to bear, and a black panel slid over his right eye, mimicking an eyepatch. THIS however was a targeting system, letting him pinpoint the perfect spot to fire upon. He found his mark, and fired, the boom from his cannon echoing across the halls.

The hook flew through the air, thick cable sailing behind it. It wrapped around Dozer’s arm, before hooking into an exposed gash. Mike grabbed hold of the line with his free hand and pulled, straining with all his might.

There was the sound of metal groaning before the loud screech of it tearing free from Dozer’s body, who roared in complete agony. He kept the line attached as he brought it back to him, reeling it in close enough to being spinning it around him like an old fashioned sling.

“Goliath, meed David!”

He released his line, and the arm followed through ont he momentum, sailing directly for the Dozer’s massive grinders.

“GGRRNNNNOOOOOOOOOOAAAAUGH!”
It was like a fireworks show as the grinders attempted to crush something that huge from his own body. The still-spinning drills on his wrist clashing with the grinders spectacularly, before the whole thing exploded in a spray of spikes and fire.

With a mental command the cannon reloaded, a fresh hook forming. Mike fired it straight up, latching onto the rafters. Taking inspiration from Foxy’s save earlier, he ran back, then launched himself into the air, reeling in the line to get more altitude.

He swung back and forth a few times to build up momentum, and then put -everything- into commanding his suit to charge up the next attack. He felt his right leg begin to fill with energy, near to bursting.

[CHARGING SPECIAL - RIDER KICK]

The dozer was looking pretty pathetic now. His chest was a blown out charred mess, one of his eyes was smashed open, and oil seeped from every wound. Still, he snarled in defiance at the sight of Mike.

“HUMANNNNNN! YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO STOP US! SIN WILL COVER THIS EARTH, BLOT OUT THE SUN, BRING ABOUT TH END!”

Mike swung back one last time, and launched himself through the air. “THE ONLY END COMING, IS YOUR OWN, SHIT-STAIN!! EEEEYYYAAAAAAAAAAAH!

He extended his leg in a flying kick, and a trail of fire followed it as he hit his mark, boot collidng with the Soul Dozer’s skull before passing through it like it was cardboard. Mike hit the ground leaving scorch marks.

He didn’t turn back as the beast shuddered. Instead, he stood and extended his arms in the hero pose he had made earlier, eyes glowing while the Soul Dozer exploded behind him. The ground became littered with metal, burning oil, and patches of black bile fading into smoke.

Mike lowered his arms, let out a deep sigh of relief, and fell to the ground, unconscious.

+++++

TBC