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- >Be Anon
- >Lonely, got some spare cash from overtime you put in last week
- >Walking home from work, it's not that far
- >Walking by the pet shelter
- >Maybe a dog or something would help the dating situation, girls like dogs
- >Girls. You like girls
- >And going on dates
- >Shelter is dimly lit shithole, poster of cute puppy on the wall a more apt advertisement for preemptive euthanasia than adoption
- >4/10 blonde at the desk, looks like a voulenteeer
- >"Oh, Hello! Looking to adopt"
- >No, You are here to drink deep of the scent of dying animal
- "I am, what do you have?"
- >"Come on back!"
- >Back room smells like dogcat pissshit, might have cleaned it in the last couple of years
- >"Feel free to look around" Says volunteer femanon
- >A deeper pit of despair you have never seen
- >Dogs all shivering
- >Cats all hissing at you
- >Keep walking further back
- >See the most fucked up looking bright red dog on earth
- >Adopting Clifford would certainly be a conversation starter for all those parties you host
- >Dog looks at you
- >That shit is not a dog, looks more like a small brightly colored horse
- >It unsteadily gets to it's legs and walks the pace to the chainlink wall
- >Damn thing is about four feet tall at the shoulder, looking at you with fucking huge green eyes
- >He's a mess, his dusty yellow mane shaggy, tangled and looking stained with something
- >His red coat is tangled and matted
- >His hooves look brown with mud and you don't want to know what else.
- >"Oh, that poor thing" Femanon says "He was just dropped off here a month ago, between you and me it's almost time for E-U-T-H-E-N-A-S-S-I-A"
- >Bint is spelling like the damn thing can understand words anyway
- >The pony shivers, the motion making a large green apple shape clear on his hip
- >He's cute in a disgusting, dirty, pathetic sort of way
- >He might just do, looks like he could carry groceries for you or whatever, isn't growling, just starting at you
- "How much?"
- >Femanon prattles on about registration fees
- >Long story short, you buy the freakiest second hand dog in the city
- >Good going Anon, you are the best at shopping
- >Walk back into the storage area with femanon, she unlocks the cage
- >Pony-thing is sitting in the back corner, still shivering
- >"It's time to go home with your new daddy, cutie!"
- >You seriously can't stand that "pet daddy" shit
- >Femanon walking closer to the shivering pony and ties a some rope around its' neck
- >Damn, you'll need to buy it a collar and everything
- >Pony looks around for a moment, looking ready to run for it's life as femanon hands you the rope
- >You give it a soft tug and the pony stands, turning quickly and picking up a ragged, filthy looking you don't even know what. A teddy bear or something
- >"Oh, he doesn't go anywhere without that"
- >Gross, but whatever
- >You start leaving the area, ponything follows you easily enough, shaking but keeping pace with you.
- >Score, a pre-leash-trained pet.
- >The smog-stained air still smells better than the deathpit.
- >Ponything sways his short, tangled, gross tail in something like a wag, gross teddybeast in his jaws still
- "Well... uh, home's not far, and there's a petstore we can stop at"
- >Damn, now you're talking to it like it can understand words.
- >No, not it, it's a boy ponything, you think.
- >You start off down the street, the ponybeast keeps pace, even though this is the most he's walked in a month
- >Actually he's kind of a trooper in his own filthy, gross way
- >Trooper might be a good name
- >Get to "Smallest Pet Shop"
- >You have no idea why they call it that, damn thing is in an old Petsmart.
- >Go inside, get hate-glares from cash-slaves
- "Umm... do you have stuff for ponies?"
- >Cash-slave points you to the back corner and goes back to playing farmville
- >Find some pony food and salt licks, apperently having small colorful house-equines is a niche market
- >Even find a nice collar for Trooper, and a leash to go with it
- >Even manage to find a saddlebag the right size for him
- >What, you're not carrying everything when you have a miniature pack horse
- >Pick up some pony-wash and food bowls on your way out
- >Cash-slave rings everything up while begging her friends to water her virtual plants
- >Trooper is wearing his bag and carrying most of your purchases, still on the rope
- >Not going to put his collar on until he gets a bath or something
- >Walks home with you without leaving your side or falling behind
- >Return to shithole apartment building
- >Enter just barely not shithole apartment and take off Trooper's saddlebag with some difficulty, taking out the pony wash
- >Now that you're inside, you notice Trooper smells like dogcat pissshit
- >Use the rope to lead Trooper into your cramped bathroom and take the ponywash with you
- >Lock door and remove the rope, starting the shower on the hottest setting, lukewarm
- >Trooper looks suspiciously at the shower as you gently corral him in; setting down his ragbeast on the toilet cover, the pony startles under the water for a moment before relaxing, sitting on his haunches. The water coming off him is already a shit-brown.
- >Trooper seems to slowly relax as you pour the ponywash down his back and in his mane, avoiding his freaky-huge eyes
- >Work the ponywash into his tangled mane, the big thing twitching and making a soft whinny as you tug on the knots
- >You slow down, still trying to work out the tangles and deciding only a trimmer can fix this.
- >Work the soap into his coat, rubbing his belly and sides gently, the pony colder than you would expect of an animal and his ribs easy to feel
- >Trooper has earned his name, even in the face of malnutrition
- >Do Trooper's tail, finding it equally tangled and unruly
- >After half an hour, the ponybeast smells like soap instead of death.
- >Shut off the shower and towel him off
- >Trooper starts shivering as you dry off his chest and nearly visible ribs
- >Open bathroom door and get an old blanket from your room
- >Find Trooper in the bathroom, laying on his belly with his ragbeast between his forelegs
- >Drape the blanket over him and dig out your beard trimmer
- >Clip on the longest head and start it up
- >Trooper twitches and looks up at the source of the noise, holding his ragthing closer
- >It's cute in a gross way, you don't even want to know what that thing has soaked in over the past month, you'll throw it away tonight
- >You sit next to your tiny horse and start to trim his mane
- >Trooper looks ready to run, but stays still as you take out all the knots, leaving his mane a mostly uniform short-ish length
- >You do the same to his tail
- >Now he looks like a tiny warhorse or something
- >Girls will love a tiny brightly colored warhorse, it's feminine yet masculine. You'll be complex
- >Take out the scissors and take out the worst of the coat tangles
- >Trooper now looks patchy but dignified
- >You give him a little pet and leave, setting his bowls in the kitchen corner and filling them with food and water
- >You whistle
- >Okay, you can't whistle, you sort of blow air
- >Trooper gets the message and trots over to you, his newly-clean hooves a flat yellow
- >You have a sensibly colored technicolor tiny house-horse, score a second time
- >Trooper picks up the pace when he sees the food, eating everything in under a minute and lapping up the water in twice the time
- >You leave him and find his gross ragbeast
- >There it is, in the bathroom
- >You pick it up with two fingers and start toward the trash can
- >Trooper rams your hip with his head and starts whining, forehooves pawing at you gently, eyes locked on the ragthing
- "Trooper, this thing is disgusting, I'm throwing it away and getting you a new one"
- >There you are, talking to it again
- >Push past him and drop the offending cloth filth-sponge in the trashcan, Trooper pawing at your thighs and whining the whole time
- >He starts nuzzling at the trashcan afterwards, still whining
- >Go and get his collar while he's busy
- >Clip his collar on, making sure it's not going to fall off but loose enough not to choke your mighty tiny warhorse
- >It's a dark brown, kind of a nice color on Trooper you think
- >He's still trying to get the trash open
- "Trooper, you don't go into the trash"
- >You say this and tug on his collar, he whinnies again and whines, lowering his head and flattening his ears
- >You let him go, and he doesn't go back to digging in the trash
- "Good boy"
- >For his obedience, he gets an earrub
- >Walk over to your couch and flip on the television
- >Well, it's a few feet away, you sort of shuffle a yard and sit.
- >You pat the seat next to you.
- >Trooper jumps up and sits down next to you, curling up and looking tired
- >Watch television with your ponybeast, petting his side and ears
- >He seems to like it, you think. Or he could just be asleep
- >Yeah, he's asleep
- >Nothing to stay up for, you turn off the lights and walk into your bedroom
- >Still no gf. Want a gf. Definitely.
- >Fall asleep
- >Crash, bang, someone swearing loudly
- >Fuck, someone has broken into your shithole apartment building and is in your kitchen
- >Dynamicly exit your bed and grab the kendo stick you keep for just this purpose
- >Burst out into your kitchen-living-entry room
- >Find nothing, just Trooper looking sheepish with that damn filthsponge in his mouth surrounded by garbage, trash can tipped over
- >Check your front door
- >Still locked, must have hallucinated the yelling, or it could've been Mr. McYellsAtTheTV downstairs
- >You look around at the grabage and the pony now laying on his belly, looking like he's trying to hide under his forelegs
- "Trooper, what did I..."
- >You stop, talking to animals is a crazy cat lady thing to do.
- >At this point it might just be easier to wash Trooper's filthbeast tomorrow
- "Whatever"
- >You walk back into your bedroom, flipping off the lights as you go
- >Getting comfortable as you see Trooper in the doorway
- >You pat some of the open space on your bed
- >Trooper gets the message and climbs onto the bed, settling on top of the cover
- >You pull the cover out from under trooper and cover him
- >The ponybeast makes a gentle happy noise, drops the smelly rag-beast in the bed and snuggles close to you, licking your cheek softly
- >Trooper is really affectionate, it seems.
- >You pet is newly-clean coat, stroking through his mane and hugging him close
- >The pony falls asleep within moments
- >His soft breaths are actually kind of relaxing, his breath smelling a bit like hay, his side rising and falling under your arm
- >You fall asleep with this massive teddy bear of a pet in your arms
- >Morning of the second day
- >You wake up as you feel the pony stirring next to you, his hooves pressing into you as he stretches
- >It's freaking dawn.
- >Birds are chirping and everything
- >Trooper retrieves his stinkrag and hops out of bed
- >You grumble and growl at the world for having the audacity to be morning, and get out of bed
- >"Horsefeathers!"
- >You hear in your kitchen, accompanied by a heavy crash
- >Kendo stick, dynamic entry
- >Trooper is laying on the floor on his side, holding one foreleg to his chest and whining
- >And noone else is in the room, front door still locked
- >Sherlock mode engaged
- >Hear a voice in a room occupied only by your pony...
- >Wait, shit, Trooper is hurt
- >Kneel next to the pony, almost slipping on some of the trash still on the floor
- >He's still whimpering and holding his foreleg, looks like he's crying
- >You try to touch the leg to examine it with your doctorate from WebMD
- >"Don' touch that!" Trooper says
- >Wait, what.
- >Trooper slaps his one good foreleg over his mouth and looks terrifyed
- "Umm... Trooper, did you just talk?"
- >The pony looks at you, the away, going back to cradling his hurt foreleg
- "Trooper, you definately just spoke just now"
- >The pony remains mute and tries to nuzzle one of your palms
- >You stroke his mane and ears, then stand to start picking up the garbage
- "Well, I'll just throw this away then"
- >You say, getting closer to his ragmonster, leaning down to pick it up
- >"Wh-wait! Don' do that!"
- >Trooper lunges to you, hugging around your legs with his good leg
- >"Pleas' by the godesses is all ah have an'..." Trooper starts gibbering, tearing up and burying his face in your calves, half his words cut short by sobs
- >You awkwardly turn around and manage to sit on some dry floor, Trooper still gibbering something about " ah wanna be a g-good pet j-jus' lemme keep that..."
- >You reach down and stroke his ears, which just seems to make him whine more as he awkwardly pushes himself closer, head buried in your stomach
- "Uh... Trooper, slow down"
- >You say, free hand feeling for concussion marks, whatever those feel like
- >Trooper takes a shuddering breath and hugs his hurt leg to his chest, good leg around your back
- >"P-p-please mister ah wanna be a g-good pet d-don' send me b-back"
- "Hey, hey I'm... not going to send you anywhere, alright?"
- >Trooper just sobs in response, shoulders heaving
- >You pet down his ears and neck, trying to comfort the bizzare talking ponybeast
- "I won't throw away your... whatever it is"
- >"Sm-martah pants..." He manages, pressing into your petting
- "Smarty pants... alright, how'd you get that?"
- >Trooper snivels and whines softly as he puts a little weight on his foreleg, getting more of his weight in your lap
- >"G-gift from ah 'nother pony I kn-knew... b-back in the trainin' facility"
- >You start petting Trooper's neck now, the action seeming to calm him down
- >"Is all ah have t-ta remember mah friends and family..."
- "Oh, you... well, how long ago was that?"
- >Trooper sniffles, tears slowly stopping
- >"Ha-had ta be more than' ah year ago... I w-was b-baught by my firs' master..."
- >The pony moves in closer, hurt leg moving around your back with a slight wince
- >"Ah-ah triah'd to be good for 'em, I listen'd and didn' talk when they didn' want me ta..."
- >Trooper starts shuddering, sniffling and sobbing returning in fits and starts
- >"An' ah really trah'd! Ah d-did! B-but tha master I was bough' for didn't wan' me..."
- >You hug the pony close, careful of his hurt leg
- >"H-he c-called me freaky and stupid... ah' just wanted ta be ah good pet..."
- >You stroke Trooper's ears
- "You're not stupid, Trooper"
- >A true statement, considering he's the only talking pet you know
- >"Ah-ah... triah'd!" The pony sobs
- >You pick him up, belly-up in your arms.
- >He's heavy, but you set him on the couch on his side and start petting along his chest, leaving his head in your lap
- >He hasn't stopped talking the whole time
- >"An' ah I jus' wanted to help clean' up b-but I slipped and now yer gonna send me back to the shelter an' ah'm n-never gunna s-see mah family again an'"
- >You shush the pony gently, if only to stop the barrage
- "Trooper, nobody is going back to any shelters, okay?"
- >He hugs you with his forelegs, only answering by crying loudly
- >You stroke the ponies' ears and mane, the crying intensifying
- >"Na'body wan's me..."
- >You wrap the pony in your old blanket, touching his hurt leg only drawing a little wince, he must of only pulled it a little
- "I bought you, didn't I?"
- >"Y-yer gunna send me away like mah first family an'-an' nobody want'ed me in th' shelter an'"
- "Why would I do that?"
- >"Ah-ah'm a b-bad pet an' nobody wan's a bad pet..."
- >You wrap the blanket a little tighter, stroking his ears
- "I don't think you're a bad pet"
- >"B-b-but ah' am or ah'd still be with ma first master o-or frien's"
- "Trooper, it's okay..."
- >You wrap him in a tight hug, the pony awkwardly draping his forelegs around your neck as he rests his head on your shoulder
- >"Mah Gr-granny n-named me M-Mac, B-Big Mac"
- "Alright, it's okay Big Mac"
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