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  17. Full text of "Stranger, The Albert Camus"
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  19. ALBERT
  20.  
  21.  
  22.  
  23. CAMUS
  24.  
  25.  
  26.  
  27.  
  28. *
  29.  
  30.  
  31.  
  32. *
  33.  
  34.  
  35.  
  36.  
  37. INTERNATIONAL
  38.  
  39.  
  40.  
  41.  
  42. “Matthew Ward has done
  43. Camus and us a great service.
  44. The Stranger is now a dif-
  45. ferent and better novel for
  46. its American readers; it is
  47. now our classic as well as
  48. France’s.” —Chicago Sun -Times
  49.  
  50.  
  51.  
  52.  
  53. THE S
  54.  
  55.  
  56.  
  57. T R A N G
  58.  
  59.  
  60.  
  61. E R
  62.  
  63.  
  64.  
  65. FICTION/LITERATURE
  66.  
  67.  
  68.  
  69. G
  70.  
  71. ince it was first published
  72. in English, in 1946, Albert Camus’s first novel, THE STRAN
  73. GER ( L'etranger) , has had a profound impact on millions of
  74. American readers. Through this story of an ordinary man who
  75. unwittingly gets drawn into a senseless murder on a sun-
  76. drenched Algerian beach, Camus explored what he termed “the
  77. nakedness of man faced with the absurd.”
  78.  
  79. Now, in an illuminating new American translation, extraordi-
  80. nary for its exactitude and clarity, the original intent of THE
  81. STRANGER is made more immediate. This haunting novel has
  82. been given a new life for generations to come.
  83.  
  84.  
  85.  
  86. Translated from the French by Matthew Ward
  87.  
  88.  
  89.  
  90. $ 8.00
  91.  
  92.  
  93.  
  94. Cover design by Marc J. Cohen
  95.  
  96.  
  97.  
  98.  
  99. 9 780679 720201
  100.  
  101.  
  102.  
  103. ISBN D-b7 c 1-7EBaO-B
  104.  
  105.  
  106.  
  107. Photograph by Barnaby Hall
  108.  
  109.  
  110.  
  111.  
  112. THE STRANGER.
  113.  
  114.  
  115.  
  116.  
  117. ALSO BY ALBERT CAMUS
  118.  
  119.  
  120.  
  121. Awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1957
  122.  
  123. Notebooks 1942-1951 (Carnets,
  124. janvier 1942— mars 1951) 1965
  125.  
  126. Notebooks 1935-1942 (Carnets,
  127. mai 1935— fevrier 1942) 1963
  128.  
  129. Resistance, Rebellion, and Death (Actuelles
  130. — a selection) 1 96 1
  131.  
  132. The Possessed (Les Possedes) i960
  133.  
  134. Caligula and Three Other Plays (Caligula,
  135.  
  136. Le Malentendu, L'Etat de siege,
  137.  
  138. Les Justes) 1958
  139.  
  140. Exile and the Kingdom (L’Exil
  141. et le Royaume) 1958
  142.  
  143. The Fall (La Chute ) 1957
  144.  
  145. The Myth of Sisyphus (Le Mythe de Sisyphe)
  146. and Other Essays 1955
  147.  
  148. The Rebel (L' Homme Revolte) 1954
  149.  
  150. The Plague (La Peste) 1948
  151.  
  152. The Stranger (L'Etranger) 1946
  153.  
  154.  
  155.  
  156.  
  157. THE
  158.  
  159. STRANGER
  160.  
  161.  
  162.  
  163. ALBERT CAMUS
  164.  
  165.  
  166.  
  167. Translated from the French
  168. by Matthew Ward
  169.  
  170.  
  171.  
  172. VINTAGE INTERNATIONAL
  173. VINTAGE BOOKS
  174.  
  175. A DIVISION OF RANDOM HOUSE, INC.
  176. NEW YORK
  177.  
  178.  
  179.  
  180.  
  181.  
  182. First Vintage International Edition, March 1989
  183. Copyright © 1988 by Alfred A. Knopf, Inc,
  184.  
  185.  
  186.  
  187. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American
  188. Copyright Conventions. Published in the United States by
  189. Random House, Inc., New York. Originally published in
  190. French as LEtrangerby LibrairieGallimard, France, in 1942.
  191. Copyright 1942 by Librairie Gallimard. Copyright renewed
  192. 1969 by Mmc Veuve Albert Camus. This translation origi-
  193. nally published, in hardcover, by Alfred A. Knopf, Inc., in
  194. 1988.
  195.  
  196. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
  197. Camus, Albert, 1913-1960.
  198.  
  199. The Stranger.
  200.  
  201. (Vintage international)
  202.  
  203. Translation of: Litranger.
  204.  
  205. I. Ward, Matthew. II. Title.
  206.  
  207. PQ2605.A3734E813 1989 843'. 914 88-40378
  208.  
  209. ISBN 0-679-72020-0 (pbk.)
  210.  
  211. Manufactured in the United States of America
  212.  
  213.  
  214.  
  215.  
  216. TRANSLATOR’S NOTE
  217.  
  218.  
  219.  
  220. The Stranger demanded of Camus the creation of a style
  221. at once literary and profoundly popular, an artistic
  222. sleight of hand that would make the complexities of a
  223. man’s life appear simple. Despite appearances, though,
  224. neither Camus nor Meursault ever tried to make things
  225. simple for themselves. Indeed, in the mind of a moralist,
  226. simplification is tantamount to immorality, and Meursault
  227. and Camus are each moralists in their own way. What
  228. little Meursault says or feels or does resonates with all he
  229. does not say, all he does not feel, all he does not do. The
  230. “simplicity” of the text is merely apparent and every-
  231. where paradoxical.
  232.  
  233. Camus acknowledged employing an “American
  234. method” in writing The Stranger, in the first half of the
  235. book in particular: the short, precise sentences; the
  236. depiction of a character ostensibly without consciousness;
  237. and, in places, the “tough guy” tone. Hemingway, Dos
  238. Passos, Faulkner, Cain, and others had pointed the way.
  239. There is some irony then in the fact that for forty years
  240. the only translation available to American audiences
  241. should be Stuart Gilbert’s "Britannic” rendering. His
  242.  
  243.  
  244.  
  245.  
  246. 0 TRANSLATOR S NOTE 0
  247.  
  248.  
  249.  
  250. is the version we have all read, the version I read as a
  251. schoolboy in the boondocks some twenty years ago. As
  252. all translators do, Gilbert gave the novel a consistency
  253. and voice all his own. A certain paraphrastic earnestness
  254. might be a way of describing his effort to make the text
  255. intelligible, to help the English-speaking reader under-
  256. stand what Camus meant. In addition to giving the text
  257. a more “American” quality, I have also attempted to
  258. venture farther into the letter of Camus’s novel, to
  259. capture what he said and how he said it, not what he
  260. meant. In theory, the latter should take care of itself.
  261.  
  262. When Meursault meets old Salamano and his dog in
  263. the dark stairwell of their apartment house, Meursault
  264. observes, “II etait avec son chien.” With the reflex of a
  265. well-bred Englishman, Gilbert restores the conventional
  266. relation between man and beast and gives additional
  267. adverbial information: “As usual, he had his dog with
  268. him.” But I have taken Meursault at his word: “He was
  269. with his dog.” — in the way one is with a spouse or a
  270. friend. A sentence as straightforward as this gives us the
  271. world through Meursault’s eyes. As he says toward the
  272. end of his story, as he sees things, Salamano’s dog was
  273. worth just as much as Salamano’s wife. Such peculiarities
  274. of perception, such psychological increments of character
  275. are Meursault. It is by pursuing what is unconventional
  276. in Camus’s writing that one approaches a degree of its
  277. still startling originality.
  278.  
  279. In the second half of the novel Camus gives freer
  280. rein to a lyricism which is his alone as he takes Meursault,
  281. now stripped of his liberty, beyond sensation to enforced
  282.  
  283.  
  284.  
  285. vi
  286.  
  287.  
  288.  
  289.  
  290. 0 TRANSLATOR S NOTE 0
  291.  
  292.  
  293.  
  294. memory, unsatisfied desire and, finally, to a kind of
  295. understanding. In this stylistic difference between the
  296. two parts, as everywhere, an impossible fidelity has been
  297. my purpose.
  298.  
  299. No sentence in French literature in English trans-
  300. lation is better known than the opening sentence of The
  301. Stranger. It has become a sacred cow of sorts, and I have
  302. changed it. In his notebooks Camus recorded the obser-
  303. vation that “the curious feeling the son has for his mother
  304. constitutes all his sensibility.” And Sartre, in his “Ex-
  305. plication de L'Etranger," goes out of his way to point out
  306. Meursault’s use of the child’s word “Maman” when
  307. speaking of his mother. To use the more removed, adult
  308. "Mother” is, I believe, to change the nature of Meursault’s
  309. curious feeling for her. It is to change his very sensibility.
  310.  
  311. As Richard Howard pointed out in his classic state-
  312. ment on retranslation in his prefatory note to The lm-
  313. moralist, time reveals all translation to be paraphrase. All
  314. translations date; certain works do not. Knowing this,
  315. and with a certain nostalgia, I bow in Stuart Gilbert’s
  316. direction and ask, as Camus once did, for indulgence and
  317. understanding from the reader of this first American
  318. translation of The Stranger, which I affectionately dedi-
  319. cate to Karel Wahrsager.
  320.  
  321. The special circumstances under which this transla-
  322. tion was completed require that I thank my editor at
  323. Knopf, Judith Jones, for years of patience and faith.
  324. Nancy Festinger and Melissa Weissberg also deserve my
  325. gratitude.
  326.  
  327.  
  328.  
  329. vii
  330.  
  331.  
  332.  
  333.  
  334. PART ONE
  335.  
  336.  
  337.  
  338.  
  339. 1
  340.  
  341.  
  342.  
  343. Maman died today. Or yesterday maybe, I don’t know.
  344. I got a telegram from the home: “Mother deceased.
  345. Funeral tomorrow. Faithfully yours.” That doesn’t mean
  346. anything. Maybe it was yesterday.
  347.  
  348. The old people’s home is at Marengo, about eighty
  349. kilometers from Algiers, I’ll take the two o’clock bus and
  350. get there in the afternoon. That way I can be there for the
  351. vigil and come back tomorrow night. I asked my boss for
  352. two days off and there was no way he was going to re-
  353. fuse me with an excuse like that. But he wasn’t too
  354. happy about it. I even said, "It’s not my fault.” He didn’t
  355. say anything. Then I thought I shouldn’t have said that.
  356. After all, I didn’t have anything to apologize for. He’s
  357. the one who should have offered his condolences. But he
  358. probably will day after tomorrow, when he sees I’m in
  359. mourning. For now, it’s almost as if Maman weren’t dead.
  360. After the funeral, though, the case will be closed, and
  361. everything will have a more official feel to it.
  362.  
  363. I caught the two o’clock bus. It was very hot. I ate
  364. at the restaurant, at Celeste’s, as usual. Everybody felt
  365. very sorry for me, and Celeste said, "You only have one
  366.  
  367.  
  368.  
  369. 3
  370.  
  371.  
  372.  
  373.  
  374. 0 THE STRANGER O
  375.  
  376.  
  377.  
  378. mother.” When I left, they walked me to the door. I
  379. was a little distracted because I still had to go up to
  380. Emmanuel’s place to borrow a black tie and an arm band.
  381. He lost his uncle a few months back.
  382.  
  383. I ran so as not to miss the bus. It was probably be-
  384. cause of all the rushing around, and on top of that the
  385. bumpy ride, the smell of gasoline, and the glare of the
  386. sky and the road, that I dozed off. I slept almost
  387. the whole way. And when I woke up, I was slumped
  388. against a soldier who smiled at me and asked if I’d been
  389. traveling long. I said, “Yes,” just so I wouldn’t have to
  390. say anything else.
  391.  
  392. The home is two kilometers from the village. I walked
  393. them. I wanted to see Maman right away. But the care-
  394. taker told me I had to see the director first. He was busy,
  395. so I waited awhile. The caretaker talked the whole time
  396. and then I saw the director. I was shown into his office.
  397. He was a little old man with the ribbon of the Legion
  398. of Honor in his lapel. He looked at me with his clear
  399. eyes. Then he shook my hand and held it so long I
  400. didn’t know how to get it loose. He thumbed through
  401. a file and said, "Madame Meursault came to us three
  402. years ago. You were her sole support.” I thought he was
  403. criticizing me for something and I started to explain.
  404. But he cut me off. “You don’t have to justify yourself,
  405. my dear boy. I’ve read your mother’s file. You weren’t
  406. able to provide for her properly. She needed someone to
  407. look after her. You earn only a modest salary. And the
  408. truth of the matter is, she was happier here.” I said,
  409.  
  410.  
  411.  
  412. 4
  413.  
  414.  
  415.  
  416.  
  417. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  418.  
  419.  
  420.  
  421. “Yes, sir.” He added, “You see, she had friends here,
  422. people her own age. She was able to share things from
  423. the old days with them. You’re young, and it must have
  424. been hard for her with you.”
  425.  
  426. It was true. When she was at home with me, Maman
  427. used to spend her time following me with her eyes, not
  428. saying a thing. For the first few days she was at the home
  429. she cried a lot. But that was because she wasn’t used to
  430. it. A few months later and she would have cried if she’d
  431. been taken out. She was used to it. That’s partly why I
  432. didn’t go there much this past year. And also because it
  433. took up my Sunday — not to mention the trouble of
  434. getting to the bus, buying tickets, and spending two hours
  435. traveling.
  436.  
  437. The director spoke to me again. But I wasn’t really
  438. listening anymore. Then he said, “I suppose you’d like
  439. to see your mother.” I got up without saying anything
  440. and he led the way to the door. On the way downstairs, he
  441. explained, “We’ve moved her to our little mortuary. So
  442. as not to upset the others. Whenever one of the residents
  443. dies, the others are a bit on edge for the next two or
  444. three days. And that makes it difficult to care for them."
  445. We crossed a courtyard where there were lots of old
  446. people chatting in little groups. As we went by, the talk-
  447. ing would stop. And then the conversation would start
  448. up again behind us. The sound was like the muffled
  449. jabber of parakeets. The director stopped at the door of
  450. a small building. “I’ll leave you now, Monsieur Meur-
  451. sault. If you need me for anything, I’ll be in my office.
  452.  
  453.  
  454.  
  455. 5
  456.  
  457.  
  458.  
  459.  
  460. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  461.  
  462.  
  463.  
  464. As is usually the case, the funeral is set for ten o’clock in
  465. the morning. This way you’ll be able to keep vigil over
  466. the departed. One last thing: it seems your mother
  467. often expressed to her friends her desire for a religious
  468. burial. I’ve taken the liberty of making the necessary
  469. arrangements. But I wanted to let you know.” I thanked
  470. him. While not an atheist, Maman had never in her life
  471. given a thought to religion.
  472.  
  473. I went in. It was a very bright, whitewashed room
  474. with a skylight for a roof. The furniture consisted of
  475. some chairs and some cross-shaped sawhorses. Two of
  476. them, in the middle of the room, were supporting a
  477. closed casket. All you could see were some shiny screws,
  478. not screwed down all the way, standing out against the
  479. walnut-stained planks. Near the casket was an Arab
  480. nurse in a white smock, with a brightly colored scarf on
  481. her head.
  482.  
  483. Just then the caretaker came in behind me. He must
  484. have been running. He stuttered a little. “We put the
  485. cover on, but I’m supposed to unscrew the casket so you
  486. can see her.” He was moving toward the casket when I
  487. stopped him. He said, “You don’t want to?” I answered,
  488. “No.” He was quiet, and I was embarrassed because I
  489. felt I shouldn’t have said that. He looked at me and then
  490. asked, “Why not?” but without criticizing, as if he just
  491. wanted to know. I said, “I don’t know.” He started twirl-
  492. ing his moustache, and then without looking at me, again
  493. he said, “I understand.” He had nice pale blue eyes and
  494. a reddish complexion. He offered me a chair and then
  495.  
  496.  
  497.  
  498. 6
  499.  
  500.  
  501.  
  502.  
  503. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  504.  
  505.  
  506.  
  507. sat down right behind me. The nurse stood up and went
  508. toward the door. At that point the caretaker said to me,
  509. “She’s got an abscess.” I didn’t understand, so I looked
  510. over at the nurse and saw that she had a bandage
  511. wrapped around her head just below the eyes. Where
  512. her nose should have been, the bandage was flat. All
  513. you could see of her face was the whiteness of the ban-
  514. dage.
  515.  
  516. When she’d gone, the caretaker said, “I’ll leave you
  517. alone.” I don’t know what kind of gesture I made, but
  518. he stayed where he was, behind me. Having this presence
  519. breathing down my neck was starting to annoy me. The
  520. room was filled with beautiful late-afternoon sunlight.
  521. Two hornets were buzzing against the glass roof. I
  522. could feel myself getting sleepy. Without turning around,
  523. I said to the caretaker, “Have you been here long?”
  524. Right away he answered, “Five years” — as if he’d been
  525. waiting all along for me to ask.
  526.  
  527. After that he did a lot of talking. He would have been
  528. very surprised if anyone had told him he would end up
  529. caretaker at the Marengo home. He was sixty-four and
  530. came from Paris. At that point I interrupted him. “Oh,
  531. you’re not from around here?” Then I remembered that
  532. before taking me to the director’s office, he had talked
  533. to me about Maman. He’d told me that they had to
  534. bury her quickly, because it gets hot in the plains, espe-
  535. cially in this part of the country. That was when he told
  536. me he had lived in Paris and that he had found it hard
  537. to forget it. In Paris they keep vigil over the body for
  538.  
  539.  
  540.  
  541. 7
  542.  
  543.  
  544.  
  545.  
  546. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  547.  
  548.  
  549.  
  550. three, sometimes four days. But here you barely have
  551. time to get used to the idea before you have to start
  552. running after the hearse. Then his wife had said to him,
  553. "Hush now, that’s not the sort of thing to be telling the
  554. gentleman.” The old man had blushed and apologized.
  555. I’d stepped in and said, "No, not at all.” I thought what
  556. he’d been saying was interesting and made sense.
  557.  
  558. In the little mortuary he told me that he’d come to
  559. the home because he was destitute. He was in good
  560. health, so he’d offered to take on the job of caretaker. I
  561. pointed out that even so he was still a resident. He said
  562. no, he wasn’t. I’d already been struck by the way he
  563. had of saying “they” or “the others” and, less often, "the
  564. old people,” talking about the patients, when some of
  565. them weren’t any older than he was. But of course it
  566. wasn’t the same. He was the caretaker, and to a certain
  567. extent he had authority over them.
  568.  
  569. Just then the nurse came in. Night had fallen sud-
  570. denly. Darkness had gathered, quickly, above the sky-
  571. light. The caretaker turned the switch and I was blinded
  572. by the sudden flash of light. He suggested I go to the
  573. dining hall for dinner. But I wasn’t hungry. Then he
  574. offered to bring me a cup of coffee with milk. I like milk
  575. in my coffee, so I said yes, and he came back a few
  576. minutes later with a tray. I drank the coffee. Then I felt
  577. like having a smoke. But I hesitated, because I didn’t
  578. know if I could do it with Maman right there. I thought
  579. about it; it didn’t matter. I offered the caretaker a ciga-
  580. rette and we smoked.
  581.  
  582.  
  583.  
  584. 8
  585.  
  586.  
  587.  
  588.  
  589. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  590.  
  591.  
  592.  
  593. At one point he said, “You know, your mother’s
  594. friends will be coming to keep vigil too. It’s customary.
  595. I have to go get some chairs and some black coffee.” I
  596. asked him if he could turn off one of the lights. The
  597. glare on the white walls was making me drowsy. He said
  598. he couldn’t. That was how they’d been wired: it was all
  599. or nothing. I didn’t pay too much attention to him after
  600. that. He left, came back, set up some chairs. On one of
  601. them he stacked some cups around a coffee pot. Then
  602. he sat down across from me, on the other side of Maman.
  603. The nurse was on that side of the room too, but with
  604. her back to me. I couldn’t see what she was doing. But
  605. the way her arms were moving made me think she was
  606. knitting. It was pleasant; the coffee had warmed me
  607. up, and the smell of flowers on the night air was coming
  608. through the open door. I think I dozed off for a while.
  609.  
  610. It was a rustling sound that woke me up. Because
  611. I’d had my eyes closed, the whiteness of the room seemed
  612. even brighter than before. There wasn’t a shadow any-
  613. where in front of me, and every object, every angle and
  614. curve stood out so sharply it made my eyes hurt. That’s
  615. when Maman’s friends came in. There were about ten
  616. in all, and they floated into the blinding light without a
  617. sound. They sat down without a single chair creaking. I
  618. saw them more clearly than I had ever seen anyone, and
  619. not one detail of their faces or their clothes escaped me.
  620. But I couldn’t hear them, and it was hard for me to be-
  621. lieve they really existed. Almost all the women were
  622. wearing aprons, and the strings, which were tied tight
  623.  
  624.  
  625.  
  626. 9
  627.  
  628.  
  629.  
  630.  
  631. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  632.  
  633.  
  634.  
  635. around their waists, made their bulging stomachs stick
  636. out even more. I’d never noticed what huge stomachs
  637. old women can have. Almost all the men were skinny
  638. and carried canes. What struck me most about their
  639. faces was that I couldn’t see their eyes, just a faint
  640. glimmer in a nest of wrinkles. When they’d sat down,
  641. most of them looked at me and nodded awkwardly, their
  642. lips sucked in by their toothless mouths, so that I couldn’t
  643. tell if they were greeting me or if it was just a nervous
  644. tic. I think they were greeting me. It was then that I
  645. realized they were all sitting across from me, nodding
  646. their heads, grouped around the caretaker. For a second
  647. I had the ridiculous feeling that they were there to judge
  648. me.
  649.  
  650. Soon one of the women started crying. She was in
  651. the second row, hidden behind one of her companions,
  652. and I couldn’t see her very well. She was crying softly,
  653. steadily, in little sobs. I thought she’d never stop. The
  654. others seemed not to hear her. They sat there hunched
  655. up, gloomy and silent. They would look at the casket,
  656. or their canes, or whatever else, but that was all they
  657. would look at. The woman kept on crying. It surprised
  658. me, because I didn’t know who she was. I wished I
  659. didn’t have to listen to her anymore. But I didn’t dare
  660. say anything. The caretaker leaned over and said some-
  661. thing to her, but she shook her head, mumbled some-
  662. thing, and went on crying as much as before. Then the
  663. caretaker came around to my side. He sat down next to
  664. me. After a long pause he explained, without looking at
  665.  
  666.  
  667.  
  668. IO
  669.  
  670.  
  671.  
  672.  
  673. o THE STRANGER 0
  674.  
  675.  
  676.  
  677. me, “She was very close to your mother. She says your
  678.  
  679. mother was her only friend and now she hasn’t got any-
  680.  
  681. »
  682.  
  683. one.
  684.  
  685. We just sat there like that for quite a while. The
  686. woman’s sighs and sobs were quieting down. She sniffled
  687. a lot. Then finally she shut up. I didn’t feel drowsy
  688. anymore, but I was tired and my back was hurting me.
  689. Now it was all these people not making a sound that
  690. was getting on my nerves. Except that every now and
  691. then I’d hear a strange noise and I couldn’t figure out
  692. what it was. Finally I realized that some of the old
  693. people were sucking at the insides of their cheeks and
  694. making these weird smacking noises. They were so lost
  695. in their thoughts that they weren’t even aware of it. I
  696. even had the impression that the dead woman lying in
  697. front of them didn’t mean anything to them. But I think
  698. now that that was a false impression.
  699.  
  700. We all had some coffee, served by the caretaker.
  701. After that I don’t know any more. The night passed. I
  702. remember opening my eyes at one point and seeing that
  703. all the old people were slumped over asleep, except for one
  704. old man, with his chin resting on the back of his hands
  705. wrapped around his cane, who was staring at me as if he
  706. were just waiting for me to wake up. Then I dozed off
  707. again. I woke up because my back was hurting more
  708. and more. Dawn was creeping up over the skylight. Soon
  709. afterwards, one of the old men woke up and coughed a
  710. lot. He kept hacking into a large checkered handker-
  711. chief, and every cough was like a convulsion. He woke
  712.  
  713. i r
  714.  
  715.  
  716.  
  717.  
  718. 0 THE STRANGER O
  719.  
  720.  
  721.  
  722. the others up, and the caretaker told them that they
  723. ought to be going. They got up. The uncomfortable
  724. vigil had left their faces ashen looking. On their way
  725. out, and much to my surprise, they all shook my hand —
  726. as if that night during which we hadn’t exchanged as
  727. much as a single word had somehow brought us closer
  728. together.
  729.  
  730. I was tired. The caretaker took me to his room and
  731. I was able to clean up a little. I had some more coffee
  732. and milk, which was very good. When I went outside,
  733. the sun was up. Above the hills that separate Marengo
  734. from the sea, the sky was streaked with red. And the
  735. wind coming over the hills brought the smell of salt
  736. with it. It was going to be a beautiful day. It had been
  737. a long time since I’d been out in the country, and I
  738. could feel how much I’d enjoy going for a walk if it
  739. hadn’t been for Maman.
  740.  
  741. But I waited in the courtyard, under a plane tree. I
  742. breathed in the smell of fresh earth and I wasn’t sleepy
  743. anymore. I thought of the other guys at the office. They’d
  744. be getting up to go to work about this time : for me that
  745. was always the most difficult time of day. I thought about
  746. those things a little more, but I was distracted by the
  747. sound of a bell ringing inside the buildings. There was
  748. some commotion behind the windows, then everything
  749. quieted down again. The sun was now a little higher in
  750. the sky: it was starting to warm my feet. The caretaker
  751. came across the courtyard and told me that the director
  752. was asking for me. I went to his office. He had me sign
  753.  
  754.  
  755.  
  756. 12
  757.  
  758.  
  759.  
  760.  
  761. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  762.  
  763.  
  764.  
  765. a number of documents. I noticed that he was dressed
  766. in black with pin-striped trousers. He picked up the
  767. telephone and turned to me. "The undertaker’s men
  768. arrived a few minutes ago. I’m going to ask them to seal
  769. the casket. Before I do, would you like to see your
  770. mother one last time?” I said no. He gave the order into
  771. the telephone, lowering his voice: "Figeac, tell the men
  772. they can go ahead.”
  773.  
  774. After that he told me he would be attending the
  775. funeral and I thanked him. He sat down behind his desk
  776. and crossed his short legs. He informed me that he and
  777. I would be the only ones there, apart from the nurse on
  778. duty. The residents usually weren’t allowed to attend
  779. funerals. He only let them keep the vigil. "It’s more
  780. humane that way,” he remarked. But in this case he’d
  781. given one of mother’s old friends — Thomas Perez —
  782. permission to join the funeral procession. At that the
  783. director smiled. He said, “I’m sure you understand. It’s
  784. a rather childish sentiment. But he and your mother were
  785. almost inseparable. The others used to tease them and
  786. say, ‘Perez has a fiancee.’ He’d laugh. They enjoyed it.
  787. And the truth is he’s taking Madame Meursault’s death
  788. very hard. I didn’t think I could rightfully refuse him
  789. permission. But on the advice of our visiting physician,
  790. I did not allow him to keep the vigil last night.”
  791.  
  792. We didn’t say anything for quite a long time. The
  793. director stood up and looked out the window of his office.
  794. A moment later he said, “Here’s the priest from Marengo
  795. already. He’s early.” He warned me that it would take at
  796.  
  797.  
  798.  
  799. 13
  800.  
  801.  
  802.  
  803.  
  804. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  805.  
  806.  
  807.  
  808. least three-quarters of an hour to walk to the church,
  809. which is in the village itself. We went downstairs. Out
  810. in front of the building stood the priest and two altar
  811. boys. One of them was holding a censer, and the priest
  812. was leaning toward him, adjusting the length of its silver
  813. chain. As we approached, the priest straightened up. He
  814. called me “my son” and said a few words to me. He went
  815. inside; I followed.
  816.  
  817. I noticed right away that the screws on the casket
  818. had been tightened and that there were four men wear-
  819. ing black in the room. The director was telling me that the
  820. hearse was waiting out in the road and at the same time
  821. I could hear the priest beginning his prayers. From then
  822. on everything happened very quickly. The men moved
  823. toward the casket with a pall. The priest, his acolytes, the
  824. director and I all went outside. A woman I didn’t know
  825. was standing by the door. “Monsieur Meursault,” the
  826. director said. I didn’t catch the woman’s name; I just
  827. understood that she was the nurse assigned by the home.
  828. Without smiling she lowered her long, gaunt face. Then
  829. we stepped aside to make way for the body. We fol-
  830. lowed the pall bearers and left the home. Outside the
  831. gate stood the hearse. Varnished, glossy, and oblong, it
  832. reminded me of a pencil box. Next to it was the funeral
  833. director, a little man in a ridiculous getup, and an awk-
  834. ward, embarrassed-looking old man. I realized that it was
  835. Monsieur Perez. He was wearing a soft felt hat with a
  836. round crown and a wide brim (he took it off as the
  837. casket was coming through the gate), a suit with trousers
  838.  
  839.  
  840.  
  841. 14
  842.  
  843.  
  844.  
  845.  
  846. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  847.  
  848.  
  849.  
  850. that were corkscrewed down around his ankles, and a
  851. black tie with a knot that was too small for the big white
  852. collar of his shirt. His lips were trembling below a nose
  853. dotted with blackheads. Strange, floppy, thick-rimmed
  854. ears stuck out through his fine, white hair, and I was
  855. struck by their blood-red color next to the pallor of his
  856. face. The funeral director assigned us our places. First
  857. came the priest, then the hearse. Flanking it, the four
  858. men. Behind it, the director and myself and, bringing up
  859. the rear, the nurse and Monsieur Perez.
  860.  
  861. The sky was already filled with light. The sun was
  862. beginning to bear down on the earth and it was getting
  863. hotter by the minute. I don’t know why we waited so
  864. long before getting under way. I was hot in my dark
  865. clothes. The little old man, who had put his hat back on,
  866. took it off again. I turned a little in his direction and
  867. was looking at him when the director started talking to
  868. me about him. He told me that my mother and Monsieur
  869. Perez often used to walk down to the village together in
  870. the evenings, accompanied by a nurse. I was looking at
  871. the countryside around me. Seeing the rows of cypress
  872. trees leading up to the hills next to the sky, and the
  873. houses standing out here and there against that red
  874. and green earth, I was able to understand Maman better.
  875. Evenings in that part of the country must have been a
  876. kind of sad relief. But today, with the sun bearing down,
  877. making the whole landscape shimmer with heat, it was in-
  878. human and oppressive.
  879.  
  880. We got under way. It was then that I noticed that
  881.  
  882.  
  883.  
  884. l 5
  885.  
  886.  
  887.  
  888.  
  889. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  890.  
  891.  
  892.  
  893. Perez had a slight limp. Little by little, the hearse was
  894. picking up speed and the old man was losing ground.
  895. One of the men flanking the hearse had also dropped
  896. back and was now even with me. I was surprised at
  897. how fast the sun was climbing in the sky. I noticed that
  898. for quite some time the countryside had been buzzing
  899. with the sound of insects and the crackling of grass. The
  900. sweat was pouring down my face. I wasn’t wearing a
  901. hat, so I fanned myself with my handkerchief. The man
  902. from the undertaker’s said something to me then which
  903. I missed. He was lifting the edge of his cap with his
  904. right hand and wiping his head with a handkerchief
  905. with his left at the same time. I said, “What?” He pointed
  906. up at the sky and repeated, “Pretty hot.” I said, “Yes.”
  907. A minute later he asked, “Is that your mother in there?”
  908. Again I said, “Yes.” “Was she old?” I answered, "Fairly,”
  909. because I didn’t know the exact number. After that he
  910. was quiet. I turned around and saw old Perez about fifty
  911. meters behind us. He was going as fast as he could, swing-
  912. ing his felt hat at the end of his arm. I looked at the
  913. director, too. He was walking with great dignity, without
  914. a single wasted motion. A few beads of sweat were form-
  915. ing on his forehead, but he didn’t wipe them off.
  916.  
  917. The procession seemed to me to be moving a little
  918. faster. All around me there was still the same glowing
  919. countryside flooded with sunlight. The glare from the
  920. sky was unbearable. Atone point, we went over a section
  921. of the road that had just been repaved. The tar had
  922. burst open in the sun. Our feet sank into it, leaving its
  923.  
  924.  
  925.  
  926. 1 6
  927.  
  928.  
  929.  
  930.  
  931. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  932.  
  933.  
  934.  
  935. shiny pulp exposed. Sticking up above the top of the
  936. hearse, the coachman’s hard leather hat looked as if it
  937. had been molded out of the same black mud. I felt a
  938. little lost between the blue and white of the sky and the
  939. monotony of the colors around me — the sticky black of
  940. the tar, the dull black of all the clothes, and the shiny
  941. black of the hearse. All of it — the sun, the smell of leather
  942. and horse dung from the hearse, the smell of varnish and
  943. incense, and my fatigue after a night without sleep — was
  944. making it hard for me to see or think straight. I turned
  945. around again: Perez seemed to be way back there, fading
  946. in the shimmering heat. Then I lost sight of him alto-
  947. gether. I looked around and saw that he’d left the road
  948. and cut out across the fields. I also noticed there was a
  949. bend in the road up ahead. I realized that Perez, who
  950. knew the country, was taking a short cut in order to catch
  951. up with us. By the time we rounded the bend, he was
  952. back with us. Then we lost him again. He set off cross
  953. country once more, and so it went on. I could feel the
  954. blood pounding in my temples.
  955.  
  956. After that, everything seemed to happen so fast, so
  957. deliberately, so naturally that I don’t remember any of
  958. it anymore. Except for one thing: as we entered the
  959. village, the nurse spoke to me. She had a remarkable
  960. voice which didn’t go with her face at all, a melodious,
  961. quavering voice. She said, “If you go slowly, you risk
  962. getting sunstroke. But if you go too fast, you work up
  963. a sweat and then catch a chill inside the church.” She
  964. was right. There was no way out. Several other images
  965.  
  966.  
  967.  
  968. i7
  969.  
  970.  
  971.  
  972.  
  973. O THE STRANGER 0
  974.  
  975.  
  976.  
  977. from that day have stuck in my mind: for instance,
  978. Perez’s face when he caught up with us for the last time,
  979. just outside the village. Big tears of frustration and ex-
  980. haustion were streaming down his cheeks. But because
  981. of all the wrinkles, they weren’t dripping off. They
  982. spread out and ran together again, leaving a watery film
  983. over his ruined face. Then there was the church and
  984. the villagers on the sidewalks, the red geraniums on the
  985. graves in the cemetery, Perez fainting (he crumpled like
  986. a rag doll), the blood-red earth spilling over Maman’s
  987. casket, the white flesh of the roots mixed in with it, more
  988. people, voices, the village, waiting in front of a cafe, the
  989. incessant drone of the motor, and my joy when the bus
  990. entered the nest of lights that was Algiers and I knew I
  991. was going to go to bed and sleep for twelve hours.
  992.  
  993.  
  994.  
  995. 1 8
  996.  
  997.  
  998.  
  999.  
  1000. 2
  1001.  
  1002.  
  1003.  
  1004. As I was waking up, it came to me why my boss had
  1005. seemed annoyed when I asked him for two days off:
  1006. today is Saturday. I’d sort of forgotten, but as I was
  1007. getting up, it came to me. And, naturally, my boss
  1008. thought about the fact that I’d be getting four days’
  1009. vacation that way, including Sunday, and he couldn’t
  1010. have been happy about that. But, in the first place, it
  1011. isn’t my fault if they buried Maman yesterday instead
  1012. of today, and second, I would have had Saturday and
  1013. Sunday off anyway. Obviously, that still doesn’t keep me
  1014. from understanding my boss’s point of view.
  1015.  
  1016. I had a hard time getting up, because I was tired
  1017. from the day before. While I was shaving, I wondered
  1018. what I was going to do and I decided to go for a swim. I
  1019. caught the streetcar to go to the public beach down at
  1020. the harbor. Once there, I dove into the channel. There
  1021. were lots of young people. In the water I ran into Marie
  1022. Cardona, a former typist in our office whom I’d had a
  1023. thing for at the time. She did too, I think. But she’d left
  1024. soon afterwards and we didn’t have the time. I helped
  1025. her onto a float and as I did, I brushed against her breasts.
  1026.  
  1027.  
  1028.  
  1029.  
  1030.  
  1031.  
  1032.  
  1033. 0 THE STRANGER v
  1034.  
  1035.  
  1036.  
  1037. I was still in the water when she was already lying flat
  1038. on her stomach on the float. She turned toward me. Her
  1039. hair was in her eyes and she was laughing. I hoisted
  1040. myself up next to her. It was nice, and, sort of joking
  1041. around, I let my head fall back and rest on her stomach.
  1042. She didn’t say anything so I left it there. I had the whole
  1043. sky in my eyes and it was blue and gold. On the back
  1044. of my neck I could feel Marie’s heart beating softly. We
  1045. lay on the float for a long time, half asleep. When the
  1046. sun got too hot, she dove off and I followed. I caught
  1047. up with her, put my arm around her waist, and we
  1048. swam together. She laughed the whole time. On the
  1049. dock, while we were drying ourselves off, she said, “I’m
  1050. darker than you.” I asked her if she wanted to go to
  1051. the movies that evening. She laughed again and told me
  1052. there was a Fernandel movie she’d like to see. Once we
  1053. were dressed, she seemed very surprised to see I was
  1054. wearing a black tie and she asked me if I was in mourn-
  1055. ing. I told her Maman had died. She wanted to know
  1056. how long ago, so I said, “Yesterday.” She gave a little
  1057. start but didn’t say anything. I felt like telling her it
  1058. wasn’t my fault, but I stopped myself because I re-
  1059. membered that I’d already said that to my boss. It didn’t
  1060. mean anything. Besides, you always feel a little guilty.
  1061.  
  1062. By that evening Marie had forgotten all about it. The
  1063. movie was funny in parts, but otherwise it was just too
  1064. stupid. She had her leg pressed against mine. I was
  1065. fondling her breasts. Toward the end of the show, I gave
  1066. her a kiss, but not a good one. She came back to my place.
  1067.  
  1068.  
  1069.  
  1070. 20
  1071.  
  1072.  
  1073.  
  1074.  
  1075. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1076.  
  1077.  
  1078.  
  1079. When I woke up, Marie had gone. She’d explained
  1080. to me that she had to go to her aunt’s. I remembered that
  1081. it was Sunday, and that bothered me: I don’t like Sun-
  1082. days. So I rolled over, tried to find the salty smell Marie’s
  1083. hair had left on the pillow, and slept until ten. Then I
  1084. smoked a few cigarettes, still in bed, till noon. I didn’t
  1085. feel like having lunch at Celeste’s like I usually did be-
  1086. cause they’d be sure to ask questions and I don’t like
  1087. that. I fixed myself some eggs and ate them out of the
  1088. pan, without bread because I didn’t have any left and
  1089. I didn’t feel like going downstairs to buy some.
  1090.  
  1091. After lunch I was a little bored and I wandered
  1092. around the apartment. It was just the right size when
  1093. Maman was here. Now it’s too big for me, and I’ve had
  1094. to move the dining room table into my bedroom. I live in
  1095. just one room now, with some saggy straw chairs, a ward-
  1096. robe whose mirror has gone yellow, a dressing table, and
  1097. a brass bed. I’ve let the rest go. A little later, just for
  1098. something to do, I picked up an old newspaper and read
  1099. it. I cut out an advertisement for Kruschen Salts and
  1100. stuck it in an old notebook where I put things from the
  1101. papers that interest me. I also washed my hands, and
  1102. then I went out onto the balcony.
  1103.  
  1104. My room looks out over the main street in the neigh-
  1105. borhood. It was a beautiful afternoon. Yet the pavement
  1106. was wet and slippery, and what few people there were
  1107. were in a hurry. First, it was families out for a walk: two
  1108. little boys in sailor suits, with trousers below the knees,
  1109. looking a little cramped in their stiff clothes, and a little
  1110.  
  1111. 2 I
  1112.  
  1113.  
  1114.  
  1115.  
  1116. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1117.  
  1118.  
  1119.  
  1120. girl with a big pink bow and black patent-leather shoes.
  1121. Behind them, an enormous mother, in a brown silk
  1122. dress, and the father, a rather frail little man I know by
  1123. sight. He had on a straw hat and a bow tie and was
  1124. carrying a walking stick. Seeing him with his wife, I
  1125. understood why people in the neighborhood said he was
  1126. distinguished. A little later the local boys went by, hair
  1127. greased back, red ties, tight-fitting jackets, with em-
  1128. broidered pocket handkerchiefs and square-toed shoes. I
  1129. thought they must be heading to the movies in town.
  1130. That was why they were leaving so early and hurrying
  1131. toward the streetcar, laughing loudly.
  1132.  
  1133. After them, the street slowly emptied out. The
  1134. matinees had all started, I guess. The only ones left were
  1135. the shopkeepers and the cats. The sky was clear but dull
  1136. above the fig trees lining the street. On the sidewalk
  1137. across the way the tobacconist brought out a chair, set
  1138. it in front of his door, and straddled it, resting his arms
  1139. on the back. The streetcars, packed a few minutes before,
  1140. were almost empty. In the little cafe Chez Pierrot, next
  1141. door to the tobacconist’s, the waiter was sweeping up the
  1142. sawdust in the deserted restaurant inside. It was Sunday
  1143. all right.
  1144.  
  1145. I turned my chair around and set it down like the
  1146. tobacconist’s because I found that it was more comfortable
  1147. that way. I smoked a couple of cigarettes, went inside to
  1148. get a piece of chocolate, and went back to the window to
  1149. eat it. Soon after that, the sky grew dark and I thought
  1150. we were in for a summer storm. Gradually, though, it
  1151.  
  1152.  
  1153.  
  1154. 22
  1155.  
  1156.  
  1157.  
  1158.  
  1159. 0 THE STRANGER O
  1160.  
  1161.  
  1162.  
  1163. cleared up again. But the passing clouds had left a hint
  1164. of rain hanging over the street, which made it look
  1165. darker. I sat there for a long time and watched the sky.
  1166.  
  1167. At five o’clock some streetcars pulled up, clanging
  1168. away. They were bringing back gangs of fans from the
  1169. local soccer stadium. They were crowded onto the run-
  1170. ning boards and hanging from the handrails. The street-
  1171. cars that followed brought back the players, whom I
  1172. recognized by their little athletic bags. They were shout-
  1173. ing and singing at the tops of their lungs that their team
  1174. would never die. Several of them waved to me. One of
  1175. them even yelled up to me, “We beat ’em!” And I
  1176. nodded, as if to say “Yes.” From then on there was a
  1177. steady stream of cars.
  1178.  
  1179. The sky changed again. Above the rooftops the sky
  1180. had taken on a reddish glow, and with evening coming
  1181. on the streets came to life. People were straggling back
  1182. from their walks. I recognized the distinguished little
  1183. man among the others. Children were either crying or
  1184. lagging behind. Almost all at once moviegoers spilled
  1185. out of the neighborhood theaters into the street. The
  1186. young men among them were gesturing more excitedly
  1187. than usual and I thought they must have seen an ad-
  1188. venture film. The ones who had gone to the movies in
  1189. town came back a little later. They looked more serious.
  1190. They were still laughing, but only now and then, and
  1191. they seemed tired and dreamy. But they hung around
  1192. anyway, walking up and down the sidewalk across the
  1193. street. The local girls, bareheaded, were walking arm in
  1194.  
  1195.  
  1196.  
  1197. 23
  1198.  
  1199.  
  1200.  
  1201.  
  1202. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1203.  
  1204.  
  1205.  
  1206. arm. The young men had made sure they would have
  1207. to bump right into them and then they would make
  1208. cracks. The girls giggled and turned their heads away.
  1209. Several of the girls, whom I knew, waved to me.
  1210.  
  1211. Then the street lamps came on all of a sudden and
  1212. made the first stars appearing in the night sky grow dim.
  1213. I felt my eyes getting tired from watching the street
  1214. filled with so many people and lights. The street lamps
  1215. were making the pavement glisten, and the light from
  1216. the streetcars would glint off someone’s shiny hair, or off
  1217. a smile or a silver bracelet. Soon afterwards, with the
  1218. streetcars running less often and the sky already blue
  1219. above the trees and the lamps, the neighborhood emptied
  1220. out, almost imperceptibly, until the first cat slowly made
  1221. its way across the now deserted street. Then I thought
  1222. maybe I ought to have some dinner. My neck was a little
  1223. stiff from resting my chin on the back of the chair for
  1224. so long. I went downstairs to buy some bread and spa-
  1225. ghetti, did my cooking, and ate standing up. I wanted to
  1226. smoke a cigarette at the window, but the air was getting
  1227. colder and I felt a little chilled. I shut my windows, and
  1228. as I was coming back I glanced at the mirror and saw a
  1229. corner of my table with my alcohol lamp next to some
  1230. pieces of bread. It occurred to me that anyway one more
  1231. Sunday was over, that Maman was buried now, that I
  1232. was going back to work, and that, really, nothing had
  1233. changed.
  1234.  
  1235.  
  1236.  
  1237. 24
  1238.  
  1239.  
  1240.  
  1241.  
  1242. 3
  1243.  
  1244.  
  1245.  
  1246. I worked hard at the office today. The boss was nice. He
  1247. asked me if I wasn’t too tired and he also wanted to
  1248. know Maman’s age. I said, "About sixty,” so as not to
  1249. make a mistake; and I don’t know why, but he seemed
  1250. to be relieved somehow and to consider the matter
  1251. closed.
  1252.  
  1253. There was a stack of freight invoices that had piled
  1254. up on my desk, and I had to go through them all. Before
  1255. leaving the office to go to lunch, I washed my hands. I
  1256. really like doing this at lunchtime. I don’t enjoy it so
  1257. much in the evening, because the roller towel you use
  1258. is soaked through: one towel has to last all day. I men-
  1259. tioned it once to my boss. He told me he was sorry but
  1260. it was really a minor detail. I left a little late, at half past
  1261. twelve, with Emmanuel, who works as a dispatcher. The
  1262. office overlooks the sea, and we took a minute to watch
  1263. the freighters in the harbor, which was ablaze with sun-
  1264. light. Then a truck came toward us with its chains
  1265. rattling and its engine backfiring. Emmanuel said, "How
  1266. ’bout it?” and I started running. The truck passed us and
  1267. we ran after it. I was engulfed by the noise and the dust.
  1268.  
  1269.  
  1270.  
  1271. 25
  1272.  
  1273.  
  1274.  
  1275.  
  1276. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1277.  
  1278.  
  1279.  
  1280. I couldn’t see anything, and all I was conscious of was
  1281. the sensation of hurtling forward in a mad dash through
  1282. cranes and winches, masts bobbing on the horizon and
  1283. the hulls of ships alongside us as we ran. I was first to
  1284. grab hold and take a flying leap. Then I reached out
  1285. and helped Emmanuel scramble up. We were out of
  1286. breath; the truck was bumping around on the uneven
  1287. cobblestones of the quay in a cloud of dust and sun.
  1288. Emmanuel was laughing so hard he could hardly breathe.
  1289.  
  1290. We arrived at Celeste’s dripping with sweat. Celeste
  1291. was there, as always, with his big belly, his apron, and his
  1292. white moustache. He asked me if things were "all right
  1293. now.” I told him yes they were and said I was hungry. I
  1294. ate fast and had some coffee. Then I went home and
  1295. slept for a while because I’d drunk too much wine, and
  1296. when I woke up I felt like having a smoke. It was late
  1297. and I ran to catch a streetcar. I worked all afternoon. It
  1298. got very hot in the office, and that evening, when I
  1299. left, I was glad to walk back slowly along the docks. The
  1300. sky was green; I felt good. But I went straight home
  1301. because I wanted to boil myself some potatoes.
  1302.  
  1303. On my way upstairs, in the dark, I ran into old
  1304. Salamano, my neighbor across the landing. He was with
  1305. his dog. The two of them have been inseparable for
  1306. eight years. The spaniel has a skin disease — mange, I
  1307. think — which makes almost all its hair fall out and
  1308. leaves it covered with brown sores and scabs. After
  1309. living together for so long, the two of them alone in one
  1310. tiny room, they’ve ended up looking like each other. Old
  1311.  
  1312. 2 6
  1313.  
  1314.  
  1315.  
  1316.  
  1317. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1318.  
  1319.  
  1320.  
  1321. Salamano has reddish scabs on his face and wispy yellow
  1322. hair. As for the dog, he’s sort of taken on his master’s
  1323. stooped look, muzzle down, neck straining. They look as
  1324. if they belong to the same species, and yet they hate each
  1325. other. Twice a day, at eleven and six, the old man takes
  1326. the dog out for a walk. They haven’t changed their route
  1327. in eight years. You can see them in the rue de Lyon, the
  1328. dog pulling the man along until old Salamano stumbles.
  1329. Then he beats the dog and swears at it. The dog cowers
  1330. and trails behind. Then it’s the old man who pulls the
  1331. dog. Once the dog has forgotten, it starts dragging its
  1332. master along again, and again gets beaten and sworn at.
  1333. Then they both stand there on the sidewalk and stare at
  1334. each other, the dog in terror, the man in hatred. It’s the
  1335. same thing every day. When the dog wants to urinate,
  1336. the old man won’t give him enough time and yanks at
  1337. him, so that the spaniel leaves behind a trail of little
  1338. drops. If the dog has an accident in the room, it gets
  1339. beaten again. This has been going on for eight years.
  1340. Celeste is always saying, "It’s pitiful,” but really, who’s
  1341. to say? When I ran into him on the stairs, Salamano was
  1342. swearing away at the dog. He was saying, “Filthy, stink-
  1343. ing bastard!” and the dog was whimpering. I said “Good
  1344. evening,” but the old man just went on cursing. So I
  1345. asked him what the dog had done. He didn’t answer.
  1346. All he said was “Filthy, stinking bastard!” I could barely
  1347. see him leaning over his dog, trying to fix something on
  1348. its collar. I spoke louder. Then, without turning around,
  1349. he answered with a kind of suppressed rage, “He’s always
  1350.  
  1351.  
  1352.  
  1353. 27
  1354.  
  1355.  
  1356.  
  1357.  
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  1359.  
  1360.  
  1361.  
  1362. there.” Then he left, yanking at the animal, which was
  1363. letting itself be dragged along, whimpering.
  1364.  
  1365. Just then my other neighbor came in. The word
  1366. around the neighborhood is that he lives off women. But
  1367. when you ask him what he does, he’s a "warehouse
  1368. guard.” Generally speaking, he’s not very popular. But
  1369. he often talks to me and sometimes stops by my place for
  1370. a minute, because I listen to him. I find what he, has to
  1371. say interesting. Besides, I don’t have any reason not to
  1372. talk to him. His name is Raymond Sintes. He’s a little
  1373. on the short side, with broad shoulders and a nose like
  1374. a boxer’s. He always dresses very sharp. And once he
  1375. said to me, talking about Salamano, “If that isn’t pitiful!”
  1376. He asked me didn’t I think it was disgusting and I said
  1377. no.
  1378.  
  1379. We went upstairs and I was about to leave him when
  1380. he said, "I’ve got some blood sausage and some wine at
  1381. my place. How about joining me?” I figured it would save
  1382. me the trouble of having to cook for myself, so I ac-
  1383. cepted. He has only one room too, and a little kitchen
  1384. with no window. Over his bed he has a pink-and-white
  1385. plaster angel, some pictures of famous athletes, and
  1386. two or three photographs of naked women. The room
  1387. was dirty and the bed was unmade. First he lit his
  1388. paraffin lamp, then he took a pretty dubious-looking
  1389. bandage out of his pocket and wrapped it around his
  1390. right hand. I asked him what he’d done to it. He said
  1391. he’d been in a fight with some guy who was trying to
  1392. start trouble.
  1393.  
  1394.  
  1395.  
  1396. 28
  1397.  
  1398.  
  1399.  
  1400.  
  1401. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1402.  
  1403.  
  1404.  
  1405. “You see, Monsieur Meursault,” he said, "it’s not that
  1406. I’m a bad guy, but I have a short fuse. This guy says to
  1407. me, ‘If you’re man enough you’ll get down off that
  1408. streetcar.’ I said, ‘C’mon, take it easy.’ Then he said,
  1409. ‘You’re yellow.’ So I got off and I said to him, ‘I think
  1410. you better stop right there or I’m gonna have to teach
  1411. you a lesson.’ And he said, ‘You and who else?’ So I
  1412. let him have it. He went down. I was about to help him
  1413. up but he started kicking me from there on the ground.
  1414. So I kneed him one and slugged him a couple of times.
  1415. His face was all bloody. I asked him if he’d had enough.
  1416. He said, ‘Yes.’ ” All this time, Sintes was fiddling with
  1417. his bandage. I was sitting on the bed. He said, "So you
  1418. see, I wasn’t the one who started it. He was asking for
  1419. it.” It was true and I agreed. Then he told me that as a
  1420. matter of fact he wanted to ask my advice about the
  1421. whole business, because I was a man, I knew about
  1422. things, I could help him out, and then we’d be pals. I
  1423. didn’t say anything, and he asked me again if I wanted
  1424. to be pals. I said it was fine with me: he seemed pleased.
  1425. He got out the blood sausage, fried it up, and set out
  1426. glasses, plates, knives and forks, and two bottles of wine.
  1427. All this in silence. Then we sat down. As we ate, he
  1428. started telling me his story. He was a little hesitant at
  1429. first. "I knew this lady ... as a matter of fact, well, she
  1430. was my mistress.” The man he’d had the fight with was
  1431. this woman’s brother. He told me he’d been keeping
  1432. her. I didn’t say anything, and yet right away he added
  1433. that he knew what people around the neighborhood
  1434.  
  1435.  
  1436.  
  1437. 29
  1438.  
  1439.  
  1440.  
  1441.  
  1442. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1443.  
  1444.  
  1445.  
  1446. were saying, but that his conscience was clear and that
  1447. he was a warehouse guard.
  1448.  
  1449. “To get back to what I was saying,” he continued,
  1450. “I realized that she was cheating on me.” He’d been
  1451. giving her just enough to live on. He paid the rent on
  1452. her room and gave her twenty francs a day for food.
  1453. “Three hundred francs for the room, six hundred for
  1454. food, a pair of stockings every now and then — that made
  1455. it a thousand francs. And Her Highness refused to work.
  1456. But she was always telling me that things were too tight,
  1457. that she couldn’t get by on what I was giving her. And
  1458. I’d say to her, ‘Why not work half-days? You’d be helping
  1459. me out on all the little extras. I bought you a new outfit
  1460. just this month, I give you twenty francs a day, I pay
  1461. your rent, and what do you do? . . . You have coffee in
  1462. the afternoons with your friends. You even provide the
  1463. coffee and sugar. And me, I provide the money. I’ve been
  1464. good to you, and this is how you repay me.’ But she
  1465. wouldn’t work; she just kept on telling me she couldn’t
  1466. make ends meet — and that’s what made me realize she
  1467. was cheating on me.”
  1468.  
  1469. Then he told me that he’d found a lottery ticket in
  1470. her purse and she hadn’t been able to explain how she
  1471. paid for it. A short time later he’d found a ticket from the
  1472. shop in Mont-de-Piete in her room which proved that
  1473. she’d pawned two bracelets. Until then he hadn’t even
  1474. known the bracelets existed. “It was clear that she was
  1475. cheating on me. So I left her. But first I smacked her
  1476. around. And then I told her exactly what I thought of
  1477.  
  1478.  
  1479.  
  1480. 3 °
  1481.  
  1482.  
  1483.  
  1484.  
  1485. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1486.  
  1487.  
  1488.  
  1489. her. I told her that all she was interested in was getting
  1490. into the sack. You see, Monsieur Meursault, it’s like' I
  1491. told her: ’You don’t realize that everybody’s jealous of
  1492. how good you have it with me. Someday you’ll know just
  1493. how good it was.’ ”
  1494.  
  1495. He’d beaten her till she bled. He’d never beaten her
  1496. before. "I’d smack her around a little, but nice-like, you
  1497. might say. She’d scream a little. I’d close the shutters
  1498. and it always ended the same way. But this time it’s
  1499. for real. And if you ask me, she still hasn’t gotten what
  1500. she has coming.”
  1501.  
  1502. Then he explained that that was what he needed
  1503. advice about. He stopped to adjust the lamp’s wick,
  1504. which was smoking. I just listened. I’d drunk close to a
  1505. liter of wine and my temples were burning. I was
  1506. smoking Raymond’s cigarettes because I’d run out. The
  1507. last streetcars were going by, taking the now distant
  1508. sounds of the neighborhood with them. Raymond went
  1509. on. What bothered him was that he “still had sexual
  1510. feelings for her.” But he wanted to punish her. First
  1511. he’d thought of taking her to a hotel and calling the
  1512. vice squad to cause a scandal and have her listed as a
  1513. common prostitute. After that he’d looked up some of his
  1514. underworld friends. But they didn’t come up with any-
  1515. thing. As Raymond pointed out to me, a lot of good it
  1516. does being in the underworld. He’d said the same thing
  1517. to them, and then they’d suggested "marking” her. But
  1518. that wasn’t what he wanted. He was going to think
  1519. about it. But first he wanted to ask me something. Be-
  1520.  
  1521.  
  1522.  
  1523. 3i
  1524.  
  1525.  
  1526.  
  1527.  
  1528. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1529.  
  1530.  
  1531.  
  1532. fore he did, though, he wanted to know what I thought
  1533. of the whole thing. I said I didn’t think anything but
  1534. that it was interesting. He asked if I thought she was
  1535. cheating on him, and it seemed to me she was; if I
  1536. thought she should be punished and what I would do
  1537. in his place, and I said you can’t ever be sure, but I
  1538. understood his wanting to punish her. I drank a little
  1539. more wine. He lit a cigarette and let me in on what he
  1540. was thinking about doing. He wanted to write her a
  1541. letter, "one with a punch and also some things in it to
  1542. make her sorry for what she’s done.” Then, when she
  1543. came running back, he’d go to bed with her and "right
  1544. at the last minute” he’d spit in her face and throw her
  1545. out. Yes, that would punish her, I thought. But Ray-
  1546. mond told me he didn’t think he could write the kind
  1547. of letter it would take and that he’d thought of asking
  1548. me to write it for him. Since I didn’t say anything, he
  1549. asked if I’d mind doing it right then and I said no.
  1550.  
  1551. He downed a glass of wine and then stood up. He
  1552. pushed aside the plates and the little bit of cold sausage
  1553. we’d left. He carefully wiped the oilcloth covering the
  1554. table. Then from a drawer in his night table he took out
  1555. a sheet of paper, a yellow envelope, a small red pen box,
  1556. and a square bottle with purple ink in it. When he told
  1557. me the woman’s name I realized she was Moorish. I
  1558. wrote the letter. I did it just as it came to me, but I
  1559. tried my best to please Raymond because I didn’t have
  1560. any reason not to please him. Then I read it out loud. He
  1561. listened, smoking and nodding his head; then he asked
  1562.  
  1563.  
  1564.  
  1565. 32
  1566.  
  1567.  
  1568.  
  1569.  
  1570. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1571.  
  1572.  
  1573.  
  1574. me to read it again. He was very pleased. He said, "I
  1575. could tell you knew about these things.” I didn’t notice
  1576. at first, but he had stopped calling me “monsieur.” It
  1577. was only when he announced “Now you’re a pal,
  1578. Meursault” and said it again that it struck me. He re-
  1579. peated his remark and I said, “Yes.” I didn’t mind being
  1580. his pal, and he seemed set on it. He sealed the letter
  1581. and we finished off the wine. Then we sat and smoked
  1582. for a while without saying anything. Outside, every-
  1583. thing was quiet; we heard the sound of a car passing. I
  1584. said, "It’s late.” Raymond thought so too. He remarked
  1585. how quickly the time passed, and in a way it was true.
  1586. I felt sleepy, but it was hard for me to get up. I must
  1587. have looked tired, because Raymond told me not to let
  1588. things get to me. At first I didn’t understand. Then he
  1589. explained that he’d heard about Maman’s death but
  1590. that it was one of those things that was bound to happen
  1591. sooner or later. I thought so too.
  1592.  
  1593. I got up. Raymond gave me a very firm handshake
  1594. and said that men always understand each other. I left
  1595. his room, closing the door behind me, and paused for a
  1596. minute in the dark, on the landing. The house was
  1597. quiet, and a breath of dark, dank air wafted up from
  1598. deep in the stairwell. All I could hear was the blood
  1599. pounding in my ears. I stood there, motionless. And in
  1600. old Salamano’s room, the dog whimpered softly.
  1601.  
  1602.  
  1603.  
  1604. 33
  1605.  
  1606.  
  1607.  
  1608.  
  1609. 4
  1610.  
  1611.  
  1612.  
  1613. I worked hard all week. Raymond stopped by and told
  1614. me he’d sent the letter. I went to the movies twice with
  1615. Emmanuel, who doesn’t always understand what’s going
  1616. on on the screen. So you have to explain things to him.
  1617. Yesterday was Saturday, and Marie came over as we’d
  1618. planned. I wanted her so bad when I saw her in that
  1619. pretty red-and-white striped dress and leather sandals.
  1620. You could make out the shape of her firm breasts, and
  1621. her tan made her face look like a flower. We caught a
  1622. bus and went a few kilometers outside Algiers, to a
  1623. beach with rocks at either end, bordered by shore grass
  1624. on the land side. The four o’clock sun wasn’t too hot,
  1625. but the water was warm, with slow, gently lapping waves.
  1626. Marie taught me a game. As you swam, you had to
  1627. skim off the foam from the crest of the waves with your
  1628. mouth, hold it there, then roll over on your back and
  1629. spout it out toward the sky. This made a delicate froth
  1630. which disappeared into the air or fell back in a warm
  1631. spray over my face. But after a while my mouth was
  1632. stinging with the salty bitterness. Then Marie swam
  1633. over to me and pressed herself against me in the water.
  1634.  
  1635.  
  1636.  
  1637. 34
  1638.  
  1639.  
  1640.  
  1641.  
  1642. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1643.  
  1644.  
  1645.  
  1646. She put her lips on mine. Her tongue cooled my lips
  1647. and we tumbled in the waves for a moment.
  1648.  
  1649. When we’d gotten dressed again on the beach, Marie
  1650. looked at me with her eyes sparkling. I kissed her. We
  1651. didn’t say anything more from that point on. I held her
  1652. to me and we hurried to catch a bus, get back, go to my
  1653. place, and throw ourselves onto my bed. I’d left my
  1654. window open, and the summer night air flowing over
  1655. our brown bodies felt good.
  1656.  
  1657. That morning Marie stayed and I told her that we
  1658. would have lunch together. I went downstairs to buy
  1659. some meat. On my way back upstairs I heard a woman’s
  1660. voice in Raymond’s room. A little later old Salamano
  1661. growled at his dog; we heard the sound of footsteps and
  1662. claws on the wooden stairs and then “Lousy, stinking
  1663. bastard” and they went down into the street. I told
  1664. Marie all about the old man and she laughed. She was
  1665. wearing a pair of my pajamas with the sleeves rolled up.
  1666. When she laughed I wanted her again. A minute later
  1667. she asked me if I loved her. I told her it didn’t mean any-
  1668. thing but that I didn’t think so. She looked sad. But
  1669. as we were fixing lunch, and for no apparent reason, she
  1670. laughed in such a way that I kissed her. It was then
  1671. that we heard what sounded like a fight break out in
  1672. Raymond’s room.
  1673.  
  1674. First we heard a woman’s shrill voice and then
  1675. Raymond saying, "You used me, you used me. I’ll teach
  1676. you to use me.” There were some thuds and the woman
  1677. screamed, but in such a terrifying way that the landing
  1678.  
  1679.  
  1680.  
  1681. 35
  1682.  
  1683.  
  1684.  
  1685.  
  1686. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1687.  
  1688.  
  1689.  
  1690. immediately filled with people. Marie and I went to see,
  1691. too. The woman was still shrieking and Raymond was
  1692. still hitting her. Marie said it was terrible and I didn’t
  1693. say anything. She asked me to go find a policeman, but
  1694. I told her I didn’t like cops. One showed up anyway with
  1695. the tenant from the third floor, who’s a plumber. The
  1696. cop knocked on the door and we couldn’t hear anything
  1697. anymore. He knocked harder and after a minute the
  1698. woman started crying and Raymond opened the door.
  1699. He had a cigarette in his mouth and an innocent look on
  1700. his face. The girl rushed to the door and told the police-
  1701. man that Raymond had hit her. “What’s your name?”
  1702. the cop said. Raymond told him. “Take that cigarette
  1703. out of your mouth when you’re talking to me,” the cop
  1704. said. Raymond hesitated, looked at me, and took a drag
  1705. on his cigarette. Right then the cop slapped him — a
  1706. thick, heavy smack right across the face. The cigarette
  1707. went flying across the landing. The look on Raymond’s
  1708. face changed, but he didn’t say anything for a minute,
  1709. and then he asked, in a meek voice, if he could pick up
  1710. his cigarette. The cop said to go ahead and added,
  1711. “Next time you’ll know better than to clown around
  1712. with a policeman.” Meanwhile the girl was crying and
  1713. she repeated, “He beat me up! He’s a pimp!” “Officer,”
  1714. Raymond asked, “is that legal, calling a man a pimp like
  1715. that?” But the cop ordered him to shut his trap. Then
  1716. Raymond turned to the girl and said, “You just wait,
  1717. sweetheart — we’re not through yet.” The cop told him
  1718. to knock it off and said that the girl was to go and he was
  1719. to stay in his room and wait to be summoned to the
  1720.  
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  1722.  
  1723.  
  1724.  
  1725.  
  1726. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1727.  
  1728.  
  1729.  
  1730. police station. He also said that Raymond ought to be
  1731. ashamed to be so drunk that he’d have the shakes like
  1732. that. Then Raymond explained, “I’m not drunk, officer.
  1733. It’s just that I’m here, and you’re there, and I’m shaking,
  1734. I can’t help it.” He shut his door and everybody went
  1735. away. Marie and I finished fixing lunch. But she wasn’t
  1736. hungry; I ate almost everything. She left at one o’clock
  1737. and I slept awhile.
  1738.  
  1739. Around three o’clock there was a knock on my door
  1740. and Raymond came in. I didn’t get up. He sat down on
  1741. the edge of my bed. He didn’t say anything for a minute
  1742. and I asked him how it had all gone. He told me that
  1743. he’d done what he wanted to do but that she’d slapped
  1744. him and so he’d beaten her up. I’d seen the rest. I told
  1745. him it seemed to me that she’d gotten her punishment
  1746. now and he ought to be happy. He thought so too, and
  1747. he pointed out that the cop could do anything he wanted,
  1748. it wouldn’t change the fact that she’d gotten her beat-
  1749. ing. He added that he knew all about cops and how to
  1750. handle them. Then he asked me if I’d expected him to
  1751. hit the cop back. I said I wasn’t expecting anything, and
  1752. besides I didn’t like cops. Raymond seemed pretty happy.
  1753. He asked me if I wanted to go for a walk with him. I
  1754. got up and started combing my hair. He told me that
  1755. I’d have to act as a witness for him. It didn’t matter to
  1756. me, but I didn’t know what I was supposed to say.
  1757. According to Raymond, all I had to do was to state that
  1758. the girl had cheated on him. I agreed to act as a wit-
  1759. ness for him.
  1760.  
  1761. We went out and Raymond bought me a brandy.
  1762.  
  1763.  
  1764.  
  1765. 37
  1766.  
  1767.  
  1768.  
  1769.  
  1770. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1771.  
  1772.  
  1773.  
  1774. Then he wanted to shoot a game of pool, and I just
  1775. barely lost. Afterwards he wanted to go to a whorehouse,
  1776. but I said no, because I don’t like that. So we took our
  1777. time getting back, him telling me how glad he was that
  1778. he’d been able to give the woman what she deserved. I
  1779. found him very friendly with me and I thought it was a
  1780. nice moment.
  1781.  
  1782. From a distance I noticed old Salamano standing on
  1783. the doorstep. He looked flustered. When we got closer,
  1784. I saw that he didn’t have his dog. He was looking all
  1785. over the place, turning around, peering into the darkness
  1786. of the entryway, muttering incoherently, and then he
  1787. started searching the street again with his little red eyes.
  1788. When Raymond asked him what was wrong, _ he didn’t
  1789. answer right away. I barely heard him mumble “Stink-
  1790. ing bastard,” and he went on fidgeting around. I asked
  1791. him where his dog was. He snapped at me and said he
  1792. was gone. And then all of a sudden the words came
  1793. pouring out: “I took him to the Parade Ground, like
  1794. always. There were lots of people around the booths
  1795. at the fair. I stopped to watch ‘The King of the Escape
  1796. Artists.’ And when I was ready to go, he wasn’t there.
  1797. Sure, I’ve been meaning to get him a smaller collar for
  1798. a long time. But I never thought the bastard would take
  1799. off like that.”
  1800.  
  1801. Then Raymond pointed out to him that the dog
  1802. might have gotten lost and that he would come back.
  1803. He gave examples of dogs that had walked dozens of
  1804. kilometers to get back to their masters. Nevertheless, the
  1805.  
  1806.  
  1807.  
  1808. 38
  1809.  
  1810.  
  1811.  
  1812.  
  1813. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1814.  
  1815.  
  1816.  
  1817. old man looked even more flustered. “But they’ll take
  1818. him away from me, don’t you see? If only somebody
  1819. would take him in. But that’s impossible — everybody’s
  1820. disgusted by his scabs. The police’ll get him for sure.”
  1821. So I told him he should go to the pound and they’d give
  1822. the dog back to him after he paid a fee. He asked me if
  1823. it was a big fee. I didn’t know. Then he got mad: “Pay
  1824. money for that bastard — ha! He can damn well die!”
  1825. And he started cursing the dog. Raymond laughed and
  1826. went inside. I followed him and we parted upstairs on
  1827. the landing. A minute later I heard the old man’s foot-
  1828. steps and he knocked on my door. When I opened it, he
  1829. stood in the doorway for a minute and said, “Excuse me,
  1830. excuse me.” I asked him to come in, but he refused. He
  1831. was looking down at the tips of his shoes and his scabby
  1832. hands were trembling. Without looking up at me he
  1833. asked, “They’re not going to take him away from me,
  1834. are they, Monsieur Meursault? They’ll give him back
  1835. to me. Otherwise, what’s going to happen to me?” I
  1836. told him that the pound kept dogs for three days so that
  1837. their owners could come and claim them and that after
  1838. that they did with them as they saw fit. He looked at
  1839. me in silence. Then he said, “Good night.” He shut his
  1840. door and I heard him pacing back and forth. His bed
  1841. creaked. And from the peculiar little noise coming
  1842. through the partition, I realized he was crying. For
  1843. some reason I thought of Maman. But I had to get up
  1844. early the next morning. I wasn’t hungry, and I went
  1845. to bed without any dinner.
  1846.  
  1847.  
  1848.  
  1849. 39
  1850.  
  1851.  
  1852.  
  1853.  
  1854. 5
  1855.  
  1856.  
  1857.  
  1858. Raymond called me at the office. He told me that a
  1859. friend of his (he’d spoken to him about me) had invited
  1860. me to spend the day Sunday at his little beach house,
  1861. near Algiers. I said I’d really like to, but I’d promised to
  1862. spend the day with a girlfriend. Raymond immediately
  1863. told me that she was invited too. His friend’s wife would
  1864. be very glad not to be alone with a bunch of men.
  1865.  
  1866. I wanted to hang up right away because I know the
  1867. boss doesn’t like people calling us from town. But Ray-
  1868. mond asked me to hang on and told me he could have
  1869. passed on the invitation that evening, but he had some-
  1870. thing else to tell me. He’d been followed all day by a
  1871. group of Arabs, one of whom was the brother of his
  1872. former mistress. "If you see him hanging around the
  1873. building when you get home this evening, let me know.”
  1874. I said I would.
  1875.  
  1876. A little later my boss sent for me, and for a second I
  1877. was annoyed, because I thought he was going to tell me
  1878. to do less talking on the phone and more work. But that
  1879. wasn’t it at all. He told me he wanted to talk to me about
  1880. a plan of his that was still pretty vague. He just wanted
  1881.  
  1882.  
  1883.  
  1884. 40
  1885.  
  1886.  
  1887.  
  1888.  
  1889. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1890.  
  1891.  
  1892.  
  1893. to have my opinion on the matter. He was planning to
  1894. open an office in Paris which would handle his business
  1895. directly with the big companies, on the spot, and he
  1896. wanted to know how I felt about going there. I’d be
  1897. able to live in Paris and to travel around for part of the
  1898. year as well. “You’re young, and it seems to me it’s the
  1899. kind of life that would appeal to you.” I said yes but
  1900. that really it was all the same to me. Then he asked me
  1901. if I wasn’t interested in a change of life. I said that peo-
  1902. ple never change their lives, that in any case one life was
  1903. as good as another and that I wasn’t dissatisfied with
  1904. mine here at all. He looked upset and told me that I
  1905. never gave him a straight answer, that I had no ambition,
  1906. and that that was disastrous in business. So I went back
  1907. to work. I would rather not have upset him, but I
  1908. couldn’t see any reason to change my life. Looking back
  1909. on it, I wasn’t unhappy. When I was a student, I had
  1910. lots of ambitions like that. But when I had to give up my
  1911. studies I learned very quickly that none of it really
  1912. mattered.
  1913.  
  1914. That evening Marie came by to see me and asked me
  1915. if I wanted to marry her. I said it didn’t make any differ-
  1916. ence to me and that we could if she wanted to. Then she
  1917. wanted to know if I loved her. I answered the same way
  1918. I had the last time, that it didn't mean anything but that
  1919. I probably didn’t love her. “So why marry me, then?”
  1920. she said. I explained to her that it didn’t really matter
  1921. and that if she wanted to, we could get married. Besides,
  1922. she was the one who was doing the asking and all I was
  1923.  
  1924.  
  1925.  
  1926. 4 r
  1927.  
  1928.  
  1929.  
  1930.  
  1931. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1932.  
  1933.  
  1934.  
  1935. saying was yes. Then she pointed out that marriage was
  1936. a serious thing. I said, “No.” She stopped talking for a
  1937. minute and looked at me without saying anything. Then
  1938. she spoke. She just wanted to know if I would have
  1939. accepted the same proposal from another woman, with
  1940. whom I was involved in the same way. I said, “Sure.”
  1941. Then she said she wondered if she loved me, and there
  1942. was no way I could know about that. After another
  1943. moment’s silence, she mumbled that I was peculiar, that
  1944. that was probably why she loved me but that one day I
  1945. might hate her for the same reason. I didn’t say anything,
  1946. because I didn’t have anything to add, so she took my arm
  1947. with a smile and said she wanted to marry me. I said
  1948. we could do it whenever she wanted. Then I told her
  1949. about my boss’s proposition and she said she’d love to see
  1950. Paris. I told her that I’d lived there once and she asked
  1951. me what it was like. I said, “It’s dirty. Lots of pigeons and
  1952. dark courtyards. Everybody’s pale.”
  1953.  
  1954. Then we went for a walk through the main streets to
  1955. the other end of town. The women were beautiful and I
  1956. asked Marie if she’d noticed. She said yes and that she
  1957. understood what I meant. For a while neither of us said
  1958. anything. But I wanted her to stay with me, and I told
  1959. her we could have dinner together at Celeste’s. She
  1960. would have liked to but she had something to do. We
  1961. were near my place and I said goodbye to her. She
  1962. looked at me. “Don’t you want to know what I have to
  1963. do?” I did, but I hadn’t thought to ask, and she seemed to
  1964. be scolding me. Then, seeing me so confused, she
  1965.  
  1966.  
  1967.  
  1968. 42
  1969.  
  1970.  
  1971.  
  1972.  
  1973. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  1974.  
  1975.  
  1976.  
  1977. laughed again and she moved toward me with her whole
  1978. body to offer me her lips.
  1979.  
  1980. I had dinner at Celeste’s. I’d already started eating
  1981. when a strange little woman came in and asked me if
  1982. she could sit at my table. Of course she could. Her
  1983. gestures were jerky and she had bright eyes in a little
  1984. face like an apple. She took off her jacket, sat down, and
  1985. studied the menu feverishly. She called Celeste over and
  1986. ordered her whole meal all at once, in a voice that was
  1987. clear and very fast at the same time. While she was
  1988. waiting for her first course, she opened her bag, took
  1989. out a slip of paper and a pencil, added up the bill in
  1990. advance, then took the exact amount, plus tip, out of a
  1991. vest pocket and set it down on the table in front of her.
  1992. At that point the waiter brought her first course and she
  1993. gulped it down. While waiting for the next course, she
  1994. again took out of her bag a blue pencil and a magazine
  1995. that listed the radio programs for the week. One by one,
  1996. and with great care, she checked off almost every pro-
  1997. gram. Since the magazine was about a dozen pages long,
  1998. she meticulously continued this task throughout the
  1999. meal. I had already finished and she was still checking
  2000. away with the same zeal. Then she stood up, put her
  2001. jacket back on with the same robotlike movements, and
  2002. left. I didn’t have anything to do, so I left too and fol-
  2003. lowed her for a while. She had positioned herself right
  2004. next to the curb and was making her way with in-
  2005. credible speed and assurance, never once swerving or
  2006. looking around. I eventually lost sight of her and turned
  2007.  
  2008.  
  2009.  
  2010. 43
  2011.  
  2012.  
  2013.  
  2014.  
  2015. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2016.  
  2017.  
  2018.  
  2019. back. I thought about how peculiar she was but forgot
  2020. about her a few minutes later.
  2021.  
  2022. I found old Salamano waiting outside my door. I
  2023. asked him in and he told me that his dog was lost, be-
  2024. cause it wasn’t at the pound. The people who worked
  2025. there had told him that maybe it had been run over. He
  2026. asked if he could find out at the police station. They
  2027. told him that they didn’t keep track of things like that
  2028. because they happened every day. I told old Salamano
  2029. that he could get another dog, but he was right to point
  2030. out to me that he was used to this one.
  2031.  
  2032. I was sitting cross-legged on my bed and Salamano
  2033. had sat down on a chair in front of the table. He was
  2034. facing me and he had both hands on his knees. He had
  2035. kept his old felt hat on. He was mumbling bits and pieces
  2036. of sentences through his yellowing moustache. He was
  2037. getting on my nerves a little, but I didn’t have anything
  2038. to do and I didn’t feel sleepy. Just for something to say, I
  2039. asked him about his dog. He told me he’d gotten it after
  2040. his wife died. He had married fairly late. When he was
  2041. young he’d wanted to go into the theater: in the army he
  2042. used to act in military vaudevilles. But he had ended
  2043. up working on the railroads, and he didn’t regret it,
  2044. because now he had a small pension. He hadn’t been
  2045. happy with his wife, but he’d pretty much gotten used
  2046. to her. When she died he had been very lonely. So he
  2047. asked a shop buddy for a dog and he’d gotten this one
  2048. very young. He’d had to feed it from a bottle. But since
  2049. a dog doesn’t live as long as a man, they’d ended up
  2050.  
  2051.  
  2052.  
  2053. 44
  2054.  
  2055.  
  2056.  
  2057.  
  2058. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2059.  
  2060.  
  2061.  
  2062. being old together. “He was bad-tempered,” Salamano
  2063. said. “We’d have a run-in every now and then. But he
  2064. was a good dog just the same.” I said he was well bred
  2065. and Salamano looked pleased. “And,” he added, “you
  2066. didn’t know him before he got sick. His coat was the
  2067. best thing about him.” Every night and every morning
  2068. after the dog had gotten that skin disease, Salamano
  2069. rubbed him with ointment. But according to him, the
  2070. dog’s real sickness was old age, and there’s no cure for
  2071. old age.
  2072.  
  2073. At that point I yawned, and the old man said he’d be
  2074. going. I told him that he could stay and that I was sorry
  2075. about what had happened to his dog. He thanked me.
  2076. He told me that Maman was very fond of his dog. He
  2077. called her “your poor mother.” He said he supposed I
  2078. must be very sad since Maman died, and I didn’t say
  2079. anything. Then he said, very quickly and with an em-
  2080. barrassed look, that he realized that some people in the
  2081. neighborhood thought badly of me for having sent
  2082. Maman to the home, but he knew me and he knew I
  2083. loved her very much. I still don’t know why, but I said
  2084. that until then I hadn’t realized that people thought
  2085. badly of me for doing it, but that the home had seemed
  2086. like the natural thing since I didn’t have enough money
  2087. to have Maman cared for. “Anyway,” I added, "it had
  2088. been a long time since she’d had anything to say to me,
  2089. and she was bored all by herself.” “Yes,” he said, “and at
  2090. least in a home you can make a few friends.” Then he
  2091. said good night. He wanted to sleep. His life had changed
  2092.  
  2093.  
  2094.  
  2095. 45
  2096.  
  2097.  
  2098.  
  2099.  
  2100. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2101.  
  2102.  
  2103.  
  2104. now and he wasn’t too sure what he was going to do.
  2105. For the first time since I’d known him, and with a furtive
  2106. gesture, he offered me his hand, and I felt the scales on
  2107. his skin. He gave a little smile, and before he left he
  2108. said, "I hope the dogs don’t bark tonight. I always think
  2109. it’s mine.”
  2110.  
  2111.  
  2112.  
  2113. 46
  2114.  
  2115.  
  2116.  
  2117.  
  2118. 6
  2119.  
  2120.  
  2121.  
  2122. I had a hard dme waking up on Sunday, and Marie had
  2123. to call me and shake me. We didn’t eat anything, be-
  2124. cause we wanted to get to the beach early. I felt com-
  2125. pletely drained and I had a slight headache. My cigarette
  2126. tasted bitter. Marie made fun of me because, she said,
  2127. I had on a "funeral face.” She had put on a white
  2128. linen dress and let her hair down. I told her she was
  2129. beautiful and she laughed with delight.
  2130.  
  2131. On our way downstairs we knocked on Raymond’s
  2132. door. He told us he’d be right down. Once out in the
  2133. street, because I was so tired and also because we hadn’t
  2134. opened the blinds, the day, already bright with sun, hit
  2135. me like a slap in the face. Marie was jumping with joy
  2136. and kept on saying what a beautiful day it was. I felt a
  2137. little better and I noticed that I was hungry. I told Marie,
  2138. who pointed to her oilcloth bag where she’d put our bath-
  2139. ing suits and a towel. I just had to wait and then we
  2140. heard Raymond shutting his door. He had on blue
  2141. trousers and a white short-sleeved shirt. But he’d put on
  2142. a straw hat, which made Marie laugh, and his forearms
  2143. were all white under the black hairs. I found it a little
  2144.  
  2145.  
  2146.  
  2147. 47
  2148.  
  2149.  
  2150.  
  2151.  
  2152. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2153.  
  2154.  
  2155.  
  2156. repulsive. He was whistling as he came down the stairs
  2157. and he seemed very cheerful. He said “Good morning,
  2158. old man” to me and called Marie “mademoiselle.”
  2159.  
  2160. The day before, we’d gone to the police station
  2161. and I’d testified that the girl had cheated on Raymond.
  2162. He’d gotten off with a warning. They didn’t check out
  2163. my statement. Outside the front door we talked about
  2164. it with Raymond, and then we decided to take the bus.
  2165. The beach wasn’t very far, but we’d get there sooner
  2166. that way. Raymond thought his friend would be glad
  2167. to see us get there early. We were just about to leave
  2168. when all of a sudden Raymond motioned to me to look
  2169. across the street. I saw a group of Arabs leaning against
  2170. the front of the tobacconist’s shop. They were staring at
  2171. us in silence, but in that way of theirs, as if we were
  2172. nothing but stones or dead trees. Raymond told me that
  2173. the second one from the left was his man, and he seemed
  2174. worried. But, he added, it was all settled now. Marie
  2175. didn’t really understand and asked us what was wrong.
  2176. I told her that they were Arabs who had it in for Ray-
  2177. mond. She wanted to get going right away. Raymond
  2178. drew himself up and laughed, saying we’d better step
  2179. on it.
  2180.  
  2181. We headed toward the bus stop, which wasn’t far,
  2182. and Raymond said that the Arabs weren’t following us.
  2183. I turned around. They were still in the same place and
  2184. they were looking with the same indifference at the spot
  2185. where we’d just been standing. We caught the bus.
  2186. Raymond, who seemed very relieved, kept on cracking
  2187.  
  2188.  
  2189.  
  2190. 48
  2191.  
  2192.  
  2193.  
  2194.  
  2195. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2196.  
  2197.  
  2198.  
  2199. jokes for Marie. I could tell he liked her, but she hardly
  2200. said anything to him. Every once in a while she’d look at
  2201. him and laugh.
  2202.  
  2203. We got off in the outskirts of Algiers. The beach
  2204. wasn’t far from the bus stop. But we had to cross a small
  2205. plateau which overlooks the sea and then drops steeply
  2206. down to the beach. It was covered with yellowish rocks
  2207. and the whitest asphodels set against the already hard
  2208. blue of the sky. Marie was having fun scattering the
  2209. petals, taking big swipes at them with her oilcloth bag.
  2210. We walked between rows of small houses behind green
  2211. or white fences, some with their verandas hidden be-
  2212. hind the tamarisks, others standing naked among the
  2213. rocks. Before we reached the edge of the plateau, we
  2214. could already see the motionless sea and, farther out, a
  2215. massive, drowsy-looking promontory in the clear water.
  2216. The faint hum of a motor rose up to us in the still air.
  2217. And way off, we saw a tiny trawler moving, almost im-
  2218. perceptibly, across the dazzling sea. Marie gathered
  2219. some rock irises. From the slope leading down to the
  2220. beach, we could see that there were already some people
  2221. swimming.
  2222.  
  2223. Raymond’s friend lived in a little wooden bungalow
  2224. at the far end of the beach. The back of the house
  2225. rested up against the rocks, and the pilings that held it
  2226. up in front went straight down into the water. Raymond
  2227. introduced us. His friend’s name was Masson. He was a
  2228. big guy, very tall and broad-shouldered, with a plump,
  2229. sweet little wife with a Parisian accent. Right off he told
  2230.  
  2231.  
  2232.  
  2233. 49
  2234.  
  2235.  
  2236.  
  2237.  
  2238. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2239.  
  2240.  
  2241.  
  2242. us to make ourselves at home and said that his wife had
  2243. just fried up some fish he’d caught that morning. I told
  2244. him how nice I thought his house was. He told me that
  2245. he spent Saturdays and Sundays and all his days off
  2246. there. “With my wife, of course,” he added. Just then
  2247. his wife was laughing with Marie. For the first time
  2248. maybe, I really thought I was going to get married.
  2249.  
  2250. Masson wanted to go for a swim, but his wife and
  2251. Raymond didn’t want to come. The three of us went
  2252. down to the beach and Marie jumped right in. Masson
  2253. and I waited a little. He spoke slowly, and I noticed
  2254. that he had a habit of finishing everything he said with
  2255. “and I’d even say,” when really it didn’t add anything to
  2256. the meaning of his sentence. Referring to Marie, he
  2257. said, “She’s stunning, and I’d even say charming.” After
  2258. that I didn’t pay any more attention to this mannerism
  2259. of his, because I was absorbed by the feeling that the
  2260. sun was doing me a lot of good. The sand was starting
  2261. to get hot underfoot. I held back the urge to get into the
  2262. water a minute longer, but finally I said to Masson,
  2263. “Shall we?” I dove in. He waded in slowly and started
  2264. swimming only when he couldn’t touch bottom anymore.
  2265. He did the breast stroke, and not too well, either, so I
  2266. left him and joined Marie. The water was cold and I was
  2267. glad to be swimming. Together again, Marie and I
  2268. swam out a ways, and we felt a closeness as we moved
  2269. in unison and were happy.
  2270.  
  2271. Out in deeper water we floated on our backs and
  2272. the sun on my upturned face was drying the last of the
  2273.  
  2274.  
  2275.  
  2276. 5 °
  2277.  
  2278.  
  2279.  
  2280.  
  2281. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2282.  
  2283.  
  2284.  
  2285. water trickling into my mouth. We saw Masson making
  2286. his way back to the beach to stretch out in the sun.
  2287. From far away he looked huge. Marie wanted us to
  2288. swim together. I got behind her to hold her around
  2289. the waist. She used her arms to move us forward and
  2290. I did the kicking. The little splashing sound followed
  2291. us through the morning air until I got tired. I left
  2292. Marie and headed back, swimming smoothly and breath-
  2293. ing easily. On the beach I stretched out on my stomach
  2294. alongside Masson and put my face on the sand. I said
  2295. it was nice and he agreed. Soon afterwards Marie came
  2296. back. I rolled over to watch her coming. She was
  2297. glistening all over with salty water and holding her hair
  2298. back. She lay down right next to me and the combined
  2299. warmth from her body and from the sun made me doze
  2300. off.
  2301.  
  2302. Marie shook me and told me that Masson had gone
  2303. back up to the house, that it was time for lunch. I got
  2304. up right away because I was hungry, but Marie told me
  2305. I hadn’t kissed her since that morning. It was true,
  2306. and yet I had wanted to. “Come into the water,” she said.
  2307. We ran and threw ourselves into the first little waves.
  2308. We swam a few strokes and she reached out and held
  2309. on to me. I felt her legs wrapped around mine and I
  2310. wanted her.
  2311.  
  2312. When we got back, Masson was already calling us.
  2313. I said I was starving and then out of the blue he an-
  2314. nounced to his wife that he liked me. The bread was
  2315. good; I devoured my share of the fish. After that there
  2316.  
  2317.  
  2318.  
  2319. 5i
  2320.  
  2321.  
  2322.  
  2323.  
  2324. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2325.  
  2326.  
  2327.  
  2328. was some meat and fried potatoes. We all ate without
  2329. talking. Masson drank a lot of wine and kept filling my
  2330. glass. By the time the coffee came, my head felt heavy
  2331. and I smoked a lot. Masson, Raymond, and I talked
  2332. about spending August together at the beach, sharing
  2333. expenses. Suddenly Marie said, “Do you know what
  2334. time it is? It’s only eleven-thirty!” We were all sur-
  2335. prised, but Masson said that we’d eaten very early and
  2336. that it was only natural because lunchtime was when-
  2337. ever you were hungry. For some reason that made Marie
  2338. laugh. I think she’d had a little too much to drink.
  2339. Then Masson asked me if I wanted to go for a walk on
  2340. the beach with him. “My wife always takes a nap after
  2341. lunch. Me, I don’t like naps. I need to walk. I tell her all
  2342. the time it’s better for her health. But it's her business.”
  2343. Marie said she’d stay and help Madame Masson with
  2344. the dishes. The little Parisienne said that first they’d have
  2345. to get rid of the men. The three of us went down to the
  2346. beach.
  2347.  
  2348. The sun was shining almost directly overhead onto
  2349. the sand, and the glare on the water was unbearable.
  2350. There was no one left on the beach. From inside the
  2351. bungalows bordering the plateau and jutting out over
  2352. the water, we could hear the rattling of plates and
  2353. silverware. It was hard to breathe in the rocky heat
  2354. rising from the ground. At first Raymond and Masson
  2355. discussed people and things I didn’t know about. I
  2356. gathered they’d known each other for a long time and
  2357. had even lived together at one point. We headed down
  2358.  
  2359.  
  2360.  
  2361. 52
  2362.  
  2363.  
  2364.  
  2365.  
  2366. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2367.  
  2368.  
  2369.  
  2370. to the sea and walked along the water’s edge. Now and
  2371. then a little wave would come up higher than the
  2372. others and wet our canvas shoes. I wasn’t thinking
  2373. about anything, because I was half asleep from the sun
  2374. beating down on my bare head.
  2375.  
  2376. At that point Raymond said something to Masson
  2377. which I didn’t quite catch. But at the same time I
  2378. noticed, at the far end of the beach and a long way from
  2379. us, two Arabs in blue overalls coming in our direction.
  2380. I looked at Raymond and he said, "It’s him.” We kept
  2381. walking. Masson asked how they’d managed to follow
  2382. us all this way. I thought they must have seen us get on
  2383. the bus with a beach bag, but I didn’t say anything.
  2384.  
  2385. The Arabs were walking slowly, but they were
  2386. already much closer. We didn’t change our pace, but
  2387. Raymond said, "If there’s any trouble, Masson, you
  2388. take the other one. I’ll take care of my man. Meursault,
  2389. if another one shows up, he’s yours.” I said, “Yes,” and
  2390. Masson put his hands in his pockets. The blazing sand
  2391. looked red to me now. We moved steadily toward the
  2392. Arabs. The distance between us was getting shorter and
  2393. shorter. When we were just a few steps away from each
  2394. other, the Arabs stopped. Masson and I slowed down.
  2395. Raymond went right up to his man. I couldn’t hear
  2396. what he said to him, but the other guy made a move as
  2397. though he were going to butt him. Then Raymond struck
  2398. the first blow and called Masson right away. Masson went
  2399. for the one that had been pointed out as his and hit him
  2400. twice, as hard as he could. The Arab fell flat in the water,
  2401.  
  2402.  
  2403.  
  2404. 53
  2405.  
  2406.  
  2407.  
  2408.  
  2409. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2410.  
  2411.  
  2412.  
  2413. facedown, and lay there for several seconds with bubbles
  2414. bursting on the surface around his head. Meanwhile
  2415. Raymond had landed one too, and the other Arab’s face
  2416. was bleeding. Raymond turned to me and said, “Watch
  2417. this. I’m gonna let him have it now.” I shouted, “Look
  2418. out, he’s got a knife!” But Raymond’s arm had already
  2419. been cut open and his mouth slashed. Masson lunged
  2420. forward. But the other Arab had gotten back up and gone
  2421. around behind the one with the knife. We didn’t dare
  2422. move. They started backing off slowly, without taking
  2423. their eyes off us, keeping us at bay with the knife. When
  2424. they thought they were far enough away, they took off
  2425. running as fast as they could while we stood there
  2426. motionless in the sun and Raymond clutched at his arm
  2427. dripping with blood.
  2428.  
  2429. Masson immediately said there was a doctor who
  2430. spent his Sundays up on the plateau. Raymond wanted
  2431. to go see him right away. But every time he tried to talk
  2432. the blood bubbled in his mouth. We steadied him and
  2433. made our way back to the bungalow as quickly as we
  2434. could. Once there, Raymond said that they were only
  2435. flesh wounds and that he could make it to the doctor’s.
  2436. He left with Masson and I stayed to explain to the
  2437. women what had happened. Madame Masson was cry-
  2438. ing and Marie was very pale. I didn’t like having to ex-
  2439. plain to them, so I just shut up, smoked a cigarette, and
  2440. looked at the sea.
  2441.  
  2442. Raymond came back with Masson around one-thirty.
  2443. His arm was bandaged up and he had an adhesive
  2444.  
  2445.  
  2446.  
  2447. 54
  2448.  
  2449.  
  2450.  
  2451.  
  2452. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2453.  
  2454.  
  2455.  
  2456. plaster on the comer of his mouth. The doctor had told
  2457. him that it was nothing, but Raymond looked pretty
  2458. grim. Masson tried to make him laugh. But he still
  2459. wouldn’t say anything. When he said he was going
  2460. down to the beach, I asked him where he was going.
  2461. He said he wanted to get some air. Masson and I said
  2462. we’d go with him. But that made him angry and he swore
  2463. at us. Masson said not to argue with him. I followed
  2464. him anyway.
  2465.  
  2466. We walked on the beach for a long time. By now
  2467. the sun was overpowering. It shattered into little pieces
  2468. on the sand and water. I had the impression that Ray-
  2469. mond knew where he was going, but I was probably
  2470. wrong. At the far end of the beach we finally came to a
  2471. little spring running down through the sand behind a
  2472. large rock. There we found our two Arabs. They were
  2473. lying down, in their greasy overalls. They seemed per-
  2474. fectly calm and almost content. Our coming changed
  2475. nothing. The one who had attacked Raymond was
  2476. looking at him without saying anything. The other one
  2477. was blowing through a little reed over and over again,
  2478. watching us out of the comer of his eye. He kept repeat-
  2479. ing the only three notes he could get out of his in-
  2480. strument.
  2481.  
  2482. The whole time there was nothing but the sun and
  2483. the silence, with the low gurgling from the spring and
  2484. the three notes. Then Raymond put his hand in his
  2485. hip pocket, but the others didn’t move, they just kept
  2486. looking at each other. I noticed that the toes on the one
  2487.  
  2488.  
  2489.  
  2490. 55
  2491.  
  2492.  
  2493.  
  2494.  
  2495. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2496.  
  2497.  
  2498.  
  2499. playing the flute were tensed. But without taking his
  2500. eyes off his adversary, Raymond asked me, “Should I
  2501. let him have it?” I thought that if I said no he’d get
  2502. himself all worked up and shoot for sure. All I said was,
  2503. “He hasn’t said anything yet. It’d be pretty lousy to
  2504. shoot him like that.” You could still hear the sound of
  2505. the water and the flute deep within the silence and the
  2506. heat. Then Raymond said, “So I’ll call him something
  2507. and when he answers back, I’ll let him have it.” I
  2508. answered, “Right. But if he doesn’t draw his knife, you
  2509. can’t shoot.” Raymond started getting worked up. The
  2510. other Arab went on playing, and both of them were
  2511. watching every move Raymond made. “No,” I said
  2512. to Raymond, “take him on man to man and give me your
  2513. gun. If the other one moves in, or if he draws his knife,
  2514. I’ll let him have it.”
  2515.  
  2516. The sun glinted off Raymond’s gun as he handed it
  2517. to me. But we just stood there motionless, as if every-
  2518. thing had closed in around us. We stared at each other
  2519. without blinking, and everything came to a stop there
  2520. between the sea, the sand, and the sun, and the double
  2521. silence of the flute and the water. It was then that I
  2522. realized that you could either shoot or not shoot. But
  2523. all of a sudden, the Arabs, backing away, slipped be-
  2524. hind the rock. So Raymond and I turned and headed
  2525. back the way we’d come. He seemed better and talked
  2526. about the bus back.
  2527.  
  2528. I went with him as far as the bungalow, and as he
  2529. climbed the wooden steps, I just stood there at the
  2530.  
  2531.  
  2532.  
  2533. 56
  2534.  
  2535.  
  2536.  
  2537.  
  2538. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2539.  
  2540.  
  2541.  
  2542. bottom, my head ringing from the sun, unable to face
  2543. the effort it would take to climb the wooden staircase
  2544. and face the women again. But the heat was so intense
  2545. that it was just as bad standing still in the blinding
  2546. stream falling from the sky. To stay or to go, it amounted
  2547. to the same thing. A minute later I turned back toward
  2548. the beach and started walking.
  2549.  
  2550. There was the same dazzling red glare. The sea
  2551. gasped for air with each shallow, stifled little wave that
  2552. broke on the sand. I was walking slowly toward the
  2553. rocks and I could feel my forehead swelling under the
  2554. sun. All that heat was pressing down on me and making
  2555. it hard for me to go on. And every time I felt a blast of
  2556. its hot breath strike my face, I gritted my teeth, clenched
  2557. my fists in my trouser pockets, and strained every nerve
  2558. in order to overcome the sun and the thick drunkenness
  2559. it was spilling over me. With every blade of light that
  2560. flashed off the sand, from a bleached shell or a piece of
  2561. broken glass, my jaws tightened. I walked for a long
  2562. time.
  2563.  
  2564. From a distance I could see the small, dark mass of
  2565. rock surrounded by a blinding halo of light and sea
  2566. spray. I was thinking of the cool spring behind the rock.
  2567. I wanted to hear the murmur of its water again, to escape
  2568. the sun and the strain and the women’s tears, and to
  2569. find shade and rest again at last. But as I got closer, I
  2570. saw that Raymond’s man had come back.
  2571.  
  2572. He was alone. He was lying on his back, with his
  2573. hands behind his head, his forehead in the shade of the
  2574.  
  2575.  
  2576.  
  2577. 57
  2578.  
  2579.  
  2580.  
  2581.  
  2582. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2583.  
  2584.  
  2585.  
  2586. rock, the rest of his body in the sun. His blue overalls
  2587. seemed to be steaming in the heat. I was a little sur-
  2588. prised. As far as I was concerned, the whole thing was
  2589. over, and I’d gone there without even thinking about it.
  2590.  
  2591. As soon as he saw me, he sat up a little and put his
  2592. hand in his pocket. Naturally, I gripped Raymond’s
  2593. gun inside my jacket. Then he lay back again, but with-
  2594. out taking his hand out of his pocket. I was pretty far
  2595. away from him, about ten meters or so. I could tell he was
  2596. glancing at me now and then through half-closed eyes.
  2597. But most of the time, he was just a form shimmering
  2598. before my eyes in the fiery air. The sound of the waves
  2599. was even lazier, more drawn out than at noon. It was
  2600. the same sun, the same light still shining on the same
  2601. sand as before. For two hours the day had stood still;
  2602. for two hours it had been anchored in a sea of molten
  2603. lead. On the horizon, a tiny steamer went by, and I
  2604. made out the black dot from the corner of my eye be-
  2605. cause I hadn’t stopped watching the Arab.
  2606.  
  2607. It occurred to me that all I had to do was turn
  2608. around and that would be the end of it. But the whole
  2609. beach, throbbing in the sun, was pressing on my back. I
  2610. took a few steps toward the spring. The Arab didn’t
  2611. move. Besides, he was still pretty far away. Maybe it
  2612. was the shadows on his face, but it looked like he was
  2613. laughing. I waited. The sun was starting to burn my
  2614. cheeks, and I could feel drops of sweat gathering in my
  2615. eyebrows. The sun was the same as it had been the
  2616. day I’d buried Maman, and like then, my forehead
  2617.  
  2618.  
  2619.  
  2620. 58
  2621.  
  2622.  
  2623.  
  2624.  
  2625. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2626.  
  2627.  
  2628.  
  2629. especially was hurting me, all the veins in it throbbing
  2630. under the skin. It was this burning, which I couldn’t
  2631. stand anymore, that made me move forward. I knew
  2632. that it was stupid, that I wouldn’t get the sun off me
  2633. by stepping forward. But I took a step, one step, forward.
  2634. And this time, without getting up, the Arab drew his
  2635. knife and held it up to me in the sun. The light shot off
  2636. the steel and it was like a long flashing blade cutting at
  2637. my forehead. At the same instant the sweat in my eye-
  2638. brows dripped down over my eyelids all at once and
  2639. covered them with a warm, thick film. My eyes were
  2640. blinded behind the curtain of tears and salt. All I could
  2641. feel were the cymbals of sunlight crashing on my fore-
  2642. head and, indistinctly, the dazzling spear flying up from
  2643. the knife in front of me. The scorching blade slashed at
  2644. my eyelashes and stabbed at my stinging eyes. That’s
  2645. when everything began to reel. The sea carried up a
  2646. thick, fiery breath. It seemed to me as if the sky split open
  2647. from one end to the other to rain down fire. My whole
  2648. being tensed and I squeezed my hand around the
  2649. revolver. The trigger gave; I felt the smooth underside
  2650. of the butt; and there, in that noise, sharp and deafen-
  2651. ing at the same time, is where it all started. I shook off
  2652. the sweat and sun. I knew that I had shattered the
  2653. harmony of the day, the exceptional silence of a beach
  2654. where I’d been happy. Then I fired four more times at
  2655. the motionless body where the bullets lodged without
  2656. leaving a trace. And it was like knocking four quick times
  2657. on the door of unhappiness.
  2658.  
  2659.  
  2660.  
  2661. 59
  2662.  
  2663.  
  2664.  
  2665.  
  2666. PART TWO
  2667.  
  2668.  
  2669.  
  2670.  
  2671. 1
  2672.  
  2673.  
  2674.  
  2675. Right after my arrest I was questioned several times, but
  2676. it was just so they could find out who I was, which didn’t
  2677. take long. The first time, at the police station, nobody
  2678. seemed very interested in my case. A week later, how-
  2679. ever, the examining magistrate looked me over with
  2680. curiosity. But to get things started he simply asked my
  2681. name and address, my occupation, the date and place of
  2682. my birth. Then he wanted to know if I had hired an
  2683. attorney. I admitted I hadn’t and inquired whether it
  2684. was really necessary to have one. “Why do you ask?”
  2685. he said. I said I thought my case was pretty simple. He
  2686. smiled and said, “That’s your opinion. But the law is
  2687. the law. If you don’t hire an attorney yourself, the court
  2688. will appoint one.” I thought it was very convenient that
  2689. the court should take care of those details. I told him
  2690. so. He agreed with me and concluded that it was a
  2691. good law.
  2692.  
  2693. At first, I didn’t take him seriously. I was led into a
  2694. curtained room; there was a single lamp on his desk
  2695. which was shining on a chair where he had me sit while
  2696. he remained standing in the shadows. I had read
  2697.  
  2698.  
  2699.  
  2700. 6 3
  2701.  
  2702.  
  2703.  
  2704.  
  2705. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2706.  
  2707.  
  2708.  
  2709. descriptions of scenes like this in books and it all
  2710. seemed like a game to me. After our conversation,
  2711. though, I looked at him and saw a tall, fine-featured
  2712. man with deep-set blue eyes, a long gray moustache, and
  2713. lots of thick, almost white hair. He struck me as being
  2714. very reasonable and, overall, quite pleasant, despite a
  2715. nervous tic which made his mouth twitch now and then.
  2716. On my way out I was even going to shake his hand, but
  2717. just in time, I remembered that I had killed a man.
  2718.  
  2719. The next day a lawyer came to see me at the prison.
  2720. He was short and chubby, quite young, his hair care-
  2721. fully slicked back. Despite the heat (I was in my shirt
  2722. sleeves), he had on a dark suit, a wing collar, and an
  2723. odd-looking tie with broad black and white stripes. He
  2724. put the briefcase he was carrying down on my bed, in-
  2725. troduced himself, and said he had gone over my file.
  2726. My case was a tricky one, but he had no doubts we’d
  2727. win, if I trusted him. I thanked him and he said, “Let’s
  2728. get down to business.”
  2729.  
  2730. He sat down on the bed and explained to me that
  2731. there had been some investigations into my private life.
  2732. It had been learned that my mother had died recently at
  2733. the home. Inquiries had then been made in Marengo.
  2734. The investigators had learned that I had “shown in-
  2735. sensitivity” the day of Maman’s funeral. “You under-
  2736. stand,” my lawyer said, "it’s a little embarrassing for me
  2737. to have to ask you this. But it’s very important. And it
  2738. will be a strong argument for the prosecution if I can’t
  2739. come up with some answers.” He wanted me to help him.
  2740.  
  2741.  
  2742.  
  2743. 64
  2744.  
  2745.  
  2746.  
  2747.  
  2748. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2749.  
  2750.  
  2751.  
  2752. He asked if I had felt any sadness that day. The ques-
  2753. tion caught me by surprise and it seemed to me that I
  2754. would have been very embarrassed if I’d had to ask it.
  2755. Nevertheless I answered that I had pretty much lost the
  2756. habit of analyzing myself and that it was hard for me to
  2757. tell him what he wanted to know. I probably did love
  2758. Maman, but that didn’t mean anything. At one time or
  2759. another all normal people have wished their loved ones
  2760. were dead. Here the lawyer interrupted me and he
  2761. seemed very upset. He made me promise I wouldn’t say
  2762. that at my hearing or in front of the examining magis-
  2763. trate. I explained to him, however, that my nature was
  2764. such that my physical needs often got in the way of my
  2765. feelings. The day I buried Maman, I was very tired and
  2766. sleepy, so much so that I wasn’t really aware of what
  2767. was going on. What I can say for certain is that I would
  2768. rather Maman hadn’t died. But my lawyer didn’t seem
  2769. satisfied. He said, “That’s not enough.”
  2770.  
  2771. He thought for a minute. He asked me if he could
  2772. say that that day I had held back my natural feelings. I
  2773. said, “No, because it’s not true.” He gave me a strange
  2774. look, as if he found me slightly disgusting. He told me
  2775. in an almost snide way that in any case the director
  2776. and the staff of the home would be called as witnesses
  2777. and that “things could get very nasty” for me. I pointed
  2778. out to him that none of this had anything to do with my
  2779. case, but all he said was that it was obvious I had never
  2780. had any dealings with the law.
  2781.  
  2782. He left, looking angry. I wished I could have made
  2783.  
  2784.  
  2785.  
  2786. 65
  2787.  
  2788.  
  2789.  
  2790.  
  2791. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2792.  
  2793.  
  2794.  
  2795. him stay, to explain that I wanted things between us to
  2796. be good, not so that he’d defend me better but, if I can
  2797. put it this way, good in a natural way. Mostly, I could
  2798. tell, I made him feel uncomfortable. He didn’t under-
  2799. stand me, and he was sort of holding it against me. I
  2800. felt the urge to reassure him that I was like everybody
  2801. else, just like everybody else. But really there wasn’t
  2802. much point, and I gave up the idea out of laziness.
  2803.  
  2804. Shortly after that, I was taken before the examining
  2805. magistrate again. It was two o’clock in the afternoon,
  2806. and this time his office was filled with sunlight barely
  2807. softened by a flimsy curtain. It was very hot. He had me
  2808. sit down and very politely informed me that, “due to
  2809. unforeseen circumstances,” my lawyer had been unable
  2810. to come. But I had the right to remain silent and to wait
  2811. for my lawyer’s counsel. I said that I could answer for
  2812. myself. He pressed a button on the table. A young clerk
  2813. came in and sat down right behind me.
  2814.  
  2815. The two of us leaned back in our chairs. The
  2816. examination began. He started out by saying that peo-
  2817. ple were describing me as a taciturn and withdrawn
  2818. person and he wanted to know what I thought. I an-
  2819. swered, "It’s just that I don’t have much to say. So I
  2820. keep quiet.” He smiled the way he had the first time,
  2821. agreed that that was the best reason of all, and added,
  2822. “Besides, it’s not important.” Then he looked at me
  2823. without saying anything, leaned forward rather abruptly,
  2824. and said very quickly, “What interests me is you.” I
  2825. didn’t really understand what he meant by that, so I
  2826.  
  2827.  
  2828.  
  2829. 66
  2830.  
  2831.  
  2832.  
  2833.  
  2834. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  2835.  
  2836.  
  2837.  
  2838. didn’t respond. “There are one or two things,” he
  2839. added, “that I don’t quite understand. I’m sure you’ll
  2840. help me clear them up.” I said it was all pretty simple.
  2841. He pressed me to go back over that day. I went back
  2842. over what I had already told him : Raymond, the beach,
  2843. the swim, the quarrel, then back to the beach, the little
  2844. spring, the sun, and the five shots from the revolver.
  2845. After each sentence he would say, “Fine, fine.” When I
  2846. got to the body lying there, he nodded and said, “Good.”
  2847. But I was tired of repeating the same story over and
  2848. over. It seemed as if I had never talked so much in my
  2849. life.
  2850.  
  2851. After a short silence, he stood up and told me that he
  2852. wanted to help me, that I interested him, and that, with
  2853. God’s help, he would do something for me. But first
  2854. he wanted to ask me a few more questions. Without
  2855. working up to it, he asked if I loved Maman. I said,
  2856. “Yes, the same as anyone,” and the clerk, who up to then
  2857. had been typing steadily, must have hit the wrong key,
  2858. because he lost his place and had to go back. Again
  2859. without any apparent logic, the magistrate then asked if
  2860. I had fired all five shots at once. I thought for a minute
  2861. and explained that at first I had fired a single shot and
  2862. then, a few seconds later, the other four. Then he said,
  2863. “Why did you pause between the first and second shot?”
  2864. Once again I could see the red sand and feel the burning
  2865. of the sun on my forehead. But this time I didn’t answer.
  2866. In the silence that followed, the magistrate seemed to be
  2867. getting fidgety. He sat down, ran his fingers through his
  2868.  
  2869.  
  2870.  
  2871. 67
  2872.  
  2873.  
  2874.  
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  2877.  
  2878.  
  2879.  
  2880. hair, put his elbows on his desk, and leaned toward me
  2881. slightly with a strange look on his face. “Why, why did
  2882. you shoot at a body that was on the ground?’’ Once again
  2883. I didn’t know how to answer. The magistrate ran his
  2884. hands across his forehead and repeated his question with
  2885. a slightly different tone in his voice. “Why? You must
  2886. tell me. Why?” Still I didn’t say anything.
  2887.  
  2888. Suddenly he stood up, strode over to a far corner
  2889. of his office, and pulled out a drawer in a file cabinet.
  2890. He took out a silver crucifix which he brandished as he
  2891. came toward me. And in a completely different, almost
  2892. cracked voice, he shouted, “Do you know what this is?”
  2893. I said, "Yes, of course.” Speaking very quickly and pas-
  2894. sionately, he told me that he believed in God, that it
  2895. was his conviction that no man was so guilty that God
  2896. would not forgive him, but in order for that to happen
  2897. a man must repent and in so doing become like a child
  2898. whose heart is open and ready to embrace all. He was
  2899. leaning all the way over the table. He was waving his
  2900. crucifix almost directly over my head. To tell the truth,
  2901. I had found it very hard to follow his reasoning, first
  2902. because I was hot and there were big flies in his office
  2903. that kept landing on my face, and also because he was
  2904. scaring me a little. At the same time I knew that that
  2905. was ridiculous because, after all, I was the criminal. He
  2906. went on anyway. I vaguely understood that to his mind
  2907. there was just one thing that wasn’t clear in my con-
  2908. fession, the fact that I had hesitated before I fired my
  2909. second shot. The rest was fine, but that part he couldn’t
  2910. understand.
  2911.  
  2912.  
  2913.  
  2914. 68
  2915.  
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  2920.  
  2921.  
  2922.  
  2923. I was about to tell him he was wrong to dwell on it,
  2924. because it really didn’t matter. But he cut me off and
  2925. urged me one last time, drawing himself up to his full
  2926. height and asking me if I believed in God. I said no. He
  2927. sat down indignantly. He said it was impossible; all men
  2928. believed in God, even those who turn their backs on him.
  2929. That was his belief, and if he were ever to doubt it, his
  2930. life would become meaningless. “Do you want my life to
  2931. be meaningless?” he shouted. As far as I could see, it
  2932. didn’t have anything to do with me, and I told him so.
  2933. But from across the table he had already thrust the
  2934. crucifix in my face and was screaming irrationally, “I
  2935. am a Christian. I ask Him to forgive you your sins. How
  2936. can you not believe that He suffered for you?” I was
  2937. struck by how sincere he seemed, but I had had enough.
  2938. It was getting hotter and hotter. As always, whenever I
  2939. want to get rid of someone I’m not really listening to,
  2940. I made it appear as if I agreed. To my surprise, he acted
  2941. triumphant. “You see, you see!” he said. “You do believe,
  2942. don’t you, and you’re going to place your trust in Him,
  2943. aren’t you?” Obviously, I again said no. He fell back
  2944. in his chair.
  2945.  
  2946. He seemed to be very tired. He didn’t say anything
  2947. for a minute while the typewriter, which hadn’t let up
  2948. the whole time, was still tapping out the last few sen-
  2949. tences. Then he looked at me closely and with a little
  2950. sadness in his face. In a low voice he said, “I have never
  2951. seen a soul as hardened as yours. The criminals who have
  2952. come before me have always wept at the sight of this
  2953. image of suffering.” I was about to say that that was
  2954.  
  2955. 69
  2956.  
  2957.  
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  2960. 0 THE STRANGER O
  2961.  
  2962.  
  2963.  
  2964. precisely because they were criminals. But then I
  2965. realized that I was one too. It was an idea I couldn’t get
  2966. used to. Then the judge stood up, as if to give me the
  2967. signal that the examination was over. He simply asked,
  2968. in the same weary tone, if I was sorry for what I had
  2969. done. I thought about it for a minute and said that
  2970. more than sorry I felt kind of annoyed. I got the im-
  2971. pression he didn’t understand. But that was as far as
  2972. things went that day.
  2973.  
  2974. After that, I saw a lot of the magistrate, except that
  2975. my lawyer was with me each time. But it was just a
  2976. matter of clarifying certain things in my previous state-
  2977. ments. Or else the magistrate would discuss the charges
  2978. with my lawyer. But on those occasions they never really
  2979. paid much attention to me. Anyway, the tone of the ques-
  2980. tioning gradually changed. The magistrate seemed to
  2981. have lost interest in me and to have come to some sort
  2982. of decision about my case. He didn’t talk to me about
  2983. God anymore, and I never saw him as worked up as he
  2984. was that first day. The result was that our discussions
  2985. became more cordial. A few questions, a brief conversa-
  2986. tion with my lawyer, and the examinations were over.
  2987. As the magistrate put it, my case was taking its course.
  2988. And then sometimes, when the conversation was of a
  2989. more general nature, I would be included. I started to
  2990. breathe more freely. No one, in any of these meetings,
  2991. was rough with me. Everything was so natural, so well
  2992. handled, and so calmly acted out that I had the ridicu-
  2993. lous impression of being “one of the family.” And I can
  2994.  
  2995.  
  2996.  
  2997. 70
  2998.  
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  3002. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3003.  
  3004.  
  3005.  
  3006. say that at the end of the eleven months that this in-
  3007. vestigation lasted, I was almost surprised that I had ever
  3008. enjoyed anything other than those rare moments when
  3009. the judge would lead me to the door of his office, slap me
  3010. on the shoulder, and say to me cordially, “That’s all for
  3011. today, Monsieur Antichrist.” I would then be handed
  3012. back over to the police.
  3013.  
  3014.  
  3015.  
  3016. 7 l
  3017.  
  3018.  
  3019.  
  3020.  
  3021. 2
  3022.  
  3023.  
  3024.  
  3025. There are some things I’ve never liked talking about. A
  3026. few days after I entered prison, I realized that I wouldn’t
  3027. like talking about this part of my life.
  3028.  
  3029. Later on, though, I no longer saw any point to my
  3030. reluctance. In fact, I wasn’t really in prison those first
  3031. few days: I was sort of waiting for something to happen.
  3032. It was only after Marie’s first and last visit that it all
  3033. started. From the day I got her letter (she told me she
  3034. would no longer be allowed to come, because she wasn’t
  3035. my wife), from that day on I felt that I was at home in
  3036. my cell and that my life was coming to a standstill
  3037. there. The day of my arrest I was first put in a room
  3038. where there were already several other prisoners, most of
  3039. them Arabs. They laughed when they saw me. Then they
  3040. asked me what I was in for. I said I’d killed an Arab
  3041. and they were all silent. A few minutes later, it got dark.
  3042. They showed me how to fix the mat I was supposed to
  3043. sleep on. One end could be rolled up to make a pillow.
  3044. All night I felt bugs crawling over my face. A few days
  3045. later I was put in a cell by myself, where I slept on
  3046. wooden boards suspended from the wall. I had a bucket
  3047.  
  3048.  
  3049.  
  3050. 7 2
  3051.  
  3052.  
  3053.  
  3054.  
  3055. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3056.  
  3057.  
  3058.  
  3059. for a toilet and a tin washbasin. The prison was on
  3060. the heights above the town, and through a small window
  3061. I could see the sea. One day as I was gripping the bars,
  3062. my face straining toward the light, a guard came in and
  3063. told me I had a visitor. I thought it must be Marie. It
  3064. was.
  3065.  
  3066. To get to the visiting room I went down a long cor-
  3067. ridor, then down some stairs and, finally, another cor-
  3068. ridor. I walked into a very large room brightened by a
  3069. huge bay window. The room was divided, into three
  3070. sections by two large grates that ran the length of the
  3071. room. Between the two grates was a space of eight to
  3072. ten meters which separated the visitors from the prisoners.
  3073. I spotted Marie standing at the opposite end of the room
  3074. with her striped dress and her sun-tanned face. On my
  3075. side of the room there were about ten prisoners, most
  3076. of them Arabs. Marie was surrounded by Moorish women
  3077. and found herself between two visitors: a little, thin-
  3078. lipped old woman dressed in black and a fat, bareheaded
  3079. woman who was talking at the top of her voice and
  3080. making lots of gestures. Because of the distance between
  3081. the grates, the visitors and the prisoners were forced to
  3082. speak very loud. When I walked in, the sound of the
  3083. voices echoing off the room’s high, bare walls and the
  3084. harsh light pouring out of the sky onto the windows and
  3085. spilling into the room brought on a kind of dizziness.
  3086. My cell was quieter and darker. It took me a few seconds
  3087. to adjust. But eventually I could see each face clearly,
  3088. distinctly in the bright light. I noticed there was a
  3089.  
  3090.  
  3091.  
  3092. 73
  3093.  
  3094.  
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  3097. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3098.  
  3099.  
  3100.  
  3101. guard sitting at the far end of the passage between the
  3102. two grates. Most of the Arab prisoners and their families
  3103. had squatted down facing each other. They weren’t
  3104. shouting. Despite the commotion, they were managing to
  3105. make themselves heard by talking in very low voices.
  3106. Their subdued murmuring, coming from lower down,
  3107. formed a kind of bass accompaniment to the conversa-
  3108. tions crossing above their heads. I took all this in very
  3109. quickly as I made my way toward Marie. Already pressed
  3110. up against the grate, she was smiling her best smile for
  3111. me. I thought she looked very beautiful, but I didn’t
  3112. know how to tell her.
  3113.  
  3114. “Well?” she called across to me. “Well, here I am.”
  3115. “Are you all right? Do you have everything you want?”
  3116. “Yes, everything.”
  3117.  
  3118. We stopped talking and Marie went on smiling. The
  3119. fat woman yelled to the man next to me, her husband
  3120. probably, a tall blond guy with an honest face. It was the
  3121. continuation of a conversation already under way.
  3122.  
  3123. “Jeanne wouldn’t take him,” she shouted as loudly as
  3124. she could. “Uh-huh,” said the man. "I told her you’d
  3125. take him back when you get out, but she wouldn’t take
  3126. him.”
  3127.  
  3128. Then it was Marie’s turn to shout, that Raymond
  3129. sent his regards, and I said, “Thanks.” But my voice was
  3130. drowned out by the man next to me, who asked, “Is he
  3131. all right?” His wife laughed and said, “He’s never been
  3132. better.” The man on my left, a small young man with
  3133. delicate hands, wasn’t saying anything. I noticed that
  3134.  
  3135.  
  3136.  
  3137. 74
  3138.  
  3139.  
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  3141.  
  3142. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3143.  
  3144.  
  3145.  
  3146. he was across from the little old lady and that they were
  3147. staring intently at each other. But I didn’t have time to
  3148. watch them any longer, because Marie shouted to me
  3149. that I had to have hope. I said, “Yes.” I was looking at
  3150. her as she said it and I wanted to squeeze her shoulders
  3151. through her dress. I wanted to feel the thin material and
  3152. I didn’t really know what else I had to hope for other
  3153. than that. But that was probably what Marie meant,
  3154. because she was still smiling. All I could see was the
  3155. sparkle of her teeth and the little folds of her eyes. She
  3156. shouted again, “You’ll get out and we’ll get married!” I
  3157. answered, “You think so?” but it was mainly just to say
  3158. something. Then very quickly and still in a very loud
  3159. voice she said yes, that I would be acquitted and that we
  3160. would go swimming again. But the other woman took
  3161. her turn to shout and said that she had left a basket at
  3162. the clerk’s office. She was listing all the things she had
  3163. put in it, to make sure they were all there, because they
  3164. cost a lot of money. The young man and his mother
  3165. were still staring at each other. The murmuring of the
  3166. Arabs continued below us. Outside, the light seemed to
  3167. surge up over the bay window.
  3168.  
  3169. I was feeling a little sick and I’d have liked to leave.
  3170. The noise was getting painful. But on the other hand, I
  3171. wanted to make the most of Marie’s being there. I don’t
  3172. know how much time went by. Marie told me about her
  3173. job and she never stopped smiling. The murmuring, the
  3174. shouting, and the conversations were crossing back and
  3175. forth. The only oasis of silence was next to me where
  3176.  
  3177.  
  3178.  
  3179. 75
  3180.  
  3181.  
  3182.  
  3183.  
  3184. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3185.  
  3186.  
  3187.  
  3188. the small young man and the old woman were gazing at
  3189. each other. One by one the Arabs were taken away.
  3190. Almost everyone stopped talking as soon as the first one
  3191. left. The little old woman moved closer to the bars,
  3192. and at the same moment a guard motioned to her son.
  3193. He said “Goodbye, Maman,” and she reached between
  3194. two bars to give him a long, slow little wave.
  3195.  
  3196. She left just as another man came in, hat in hand,
  3197. and took her place. Another prisoner was brought in and
  3198. they talked excitedly, but softly, because the room had
  3199. once again grown quiet. They came for the man on my
  3200. right, and his wife said to him without lowering her
  3201. voice, as if she hadn’t noticed there was no need to
  3202. shout anymore, “Take care of yourself and be careful.”
  3203. Then it was my turn. Marie threw me a kiss. I looked
  3204. back before disappearing. She hadn’t moved and her face
  3205. was still pressed against the bars with the same sad, forced
  3206. smile on it.
  3207.  
  3208. Shortly after that was when she wrote to me. And
  3209. the things I’ve never liked talking about began. Anyway,
  3210. I shouldn’t exaggerate, and it was easier for me than
  3211. for others. When I was first imprisoned, the hardest
  3212. thing was that my thoughts were still those of a free man.
  3213. For example, I would suddenly have the urge to be on a
  3214. beach and to walk down to the water. As I imagined the
  3215. sound of the first waves under my feet, my body enter-
  3216. ing the water and the sense of relief it would give me,
  3217. all of a sudden I would feel just how closed in I was by
  3218. the walls of my cell. But that only lasted a few months.
  3219.  
  3220.  
  3221.  
  3222. 76
  3223.  
  3224.  
  3225.  
  3226.  
  3227. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3228.  
  3229.  
  3230.  
  3231. Afterwards my only thoughts were those of a prisoner.
  3232. I waited for the daily walk, which I took in the courtyard,
  3233. or for a visit from my lawyer. The rest of the time I
  3234. managed pretty well. At the time, I often thought that
  3235. if I had had to live in the trunk of a dead tree, with
  3236. nothing to do but look up at the sky flowering overhead,
  3237. little by little I would have gotten used to it. I would
  3238. have waited for birds to fly by or clouds to mingle,
  3239. just as here I waited to see my lawyer’s ties and just as,
  3240. in another world, I used to wait patiently until Saturday
  3241. to hold Marie’s body in my arms. Now, as I think back
  3242. on it, I wasn’t in a hollow tree trunk. There were others
  3243. worse off than me. Anyway, it was one of Maman’s ideas,
  3244. and she often repeated it, that after a while you could
  3245. get used to anything.
  3246.  
  3247. Besides, I usually didn’t take things so far. The first
  3248. months were hard. But in fact the effort I had to make
  3249. helped pass the time. For example, I was tormented by
  3250. my desire for a woman. It was only natural; I was young.
  3251. I never thought specifically of Marie. But I thought so
  3252. much about a woman, about women, about all the ones
  3253. I had known, about all the circumstances in which I had
  3254. enjoyed them, that my cell would be filled with their
  3255. faces and crowded with my desires. In one sense, it
  3256. threw me off balance. But in another, it killed time. I
  3257. had ended up making friends with the head guard, who
  3258. used to make the rounds with the kitchen hands at meal-
  3259. time. He’s the one who first talked to me about women.
  3260. He told me it was the first thing the others complained
  3261.  
  3262.  
  3263.  
  3264. 77
  3265.  
  3266.  
  3267.  
  3268.  
  3269. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3270.  
  3271.  
  3272.  
  3273. about. I told him it was the same for me and that I
  3274. thought it was unfair treatment. “But,” he said, "that’s
  3275. exactly why you’re in prison.” “What do you mean that’s
  3276. why?” “Well, yes — freedom, that’s why. They’ve taken
  3277. away your freedom.” I’d never thought about that. I
  3278. agreed. “It’s true,” I said. “Otherwise, what would be
  3279. the punishment?” “Right. You see, you understand
  3280. these things. The rest of them don’t. But they just end
  3281. up doing it by themselves.” The guard left after that.
  3282.  
  3283. There were the cigarettes, too. When I entered
  3284. prison, they took away my belt, my shoelaces, my tie, and
  3285. everything I had in my pockets, my cigarettes in par-
  3286. ticular. Once I was in my cell, I asked to have them back.
  3287. But I was told I wasn’t allowed. The first few days were
  3288. really rough. That may be the thing that was hardest
  3289. for me. I would suck on chips of wood that I broke off
  3290. my bed planks. I walked around nauseated all day long.
  3291. I couldn’t understand why they had taken them away
  3292. when they didn’t hurt anybody. Later on I realized that
  3293. that too was part of the punishment. But by then I had
  3294. gotten used to not smoking and it wasn’t a punishment
  3295. anymore.
  3296.  
  3297. Apart from these annoyances, I wasn’t too unhappy.
  3298. Once again the main problem was killing time. Eventu-
  3299. ally, once I learned how to remember things, I wasn’t
  3300. bored at all. Sometimes I would get to thinking about
  3301. my room, and in my imagination I would start at one
  3302. corner and circle the room, mentally noting everything
  3303. there was on the way. At first it didn’t take long. But
  3304.  
  3305.  
  3306.  
  3307. 78
  3308.  
  3309.  
  3310.  
  3311.  
  3312. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3313.  
  3314.  
  3315.  
  3316. every time I started over, it took a little longer. I would
  3317. remember every piece of furniture; and on every piece of
  3318. furniture, every object; and of every object, all the de-
  3319. tails; and of the details themselves — a flake, a crack, or
  3320. a chipped edge — the color and the texture. At the same
  3321. time I would try not to lose the thread of my inventory,
  3322. to make a complete list, so that after a few weeks I
  3323. could spend hours just enumerating the things that
  3324. were in my room. And the more I thought about it, the
  3325. more I dug out of my memory things I had overlooked
  3326. or forgotten. I realized then that a man who had lived
  3327. only one day could easily live for a hundred years in
  3328. prison. He would have enough memories to keep him
  3329. from being bored. In a way, it was an advantage.
  3330.  
  3331. Then there was sleep. At first, I didn’t sleep well at
  3332. night and not at all during the day. Little by little, my
  3333. nights got better and I was able to sleep during the day,
  3334. too. In fact, during the last few months I’ve been sleep-
  3335. ing sixteen to eighteen hours a day. That would leave
  3336. me six hours to kill with meals, nature’s call, my
  3337. memories, and the story about the Czechoslovakian.
  3338.  
  3339. Between my straw mattress and the bed planks, I
  3340. had actually found an old scrap of newspaper, yellow
  3341. and transparent, half-stuck to the canvas. On it was a
  3342. news story, the first part of which was missing, but
  3343. which must have taken place in Czechoslovakia. A
  3344. man had left a Czech village to seek his fortune. Twenty-
  3345. five years later, and now rich, he had returned with a
  3346. wife and a child. His mother was running a hotel with
  3347.  
  3348.  
  3349.  
  3350. 79
  3351.  
  3352.  
  3353.  
  3354.  
  3355. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3356.  
  3357.  
  3358.  
  3359. his sister in the village where he’d been born. In order
  3360. to surprise them, he had left his wife and child at another
  3361. hotel and gone to see his mother, who didn’t recognize
  3362. him when he walked in. As a joke he’d had the idea of
  3363. taking a room. He had shown off his money. During the
  3364. night his mother and his sister had beaten him to death
  3365. with a hammer in order to rob him and had thrown his
  3366. body in the river. The next morning the wife had come
  3367. to the hotel and, without knowing it, gave away the
  3368. traveler’s identity. The mother hanged herself. The
  3369. sister threw herself down a well. I must have read that
  3370. story a thousand times. On the one hand it wasn’t very
  3371. likely. On the other, it was perfectly natural. Anyway,
  3372. I thought the traveler pretty much deserved what he
  3373. got and that you should never play games.
  3374.  
  3375. So, with all the sleep, my memories, reading my
  3376. crime story, and the alternation of light and darkness,
  3377. time passed. Of course I had read that eventually you
  3378. wind up losing track of time in prison. But it hadn’t
  3379. meant much to me when I’d read it. I hadn’t understood
  3380. how days could be both long and short at the same time :
  3381. long to live through, maybe, but so drawn out that they
  3382. ended up flowing into one another. They lost their
  3383. names. Only the words “yesterday” and “tomorrow” still
  3384. had any meaning for me.
  3385.  
  3386. One day when the guard told me that I’d been in for
  3387. five months, I believed it, but I didn’t understand it.
  3388. For me it was one and the same unending day that was
  3389. unfolding in my cell and the same thing I was trying to
  3390.  
  3391.  
  3392.  
  3393. 80
  3394.  
  3395.  
  3396.  
  3397.  
  3398. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3399.  
  3400.  
  3401.  
  3402. do. That day, after the guard had left, I looked at my-
  3403. self in my tin plate. My reflection seemed to remain
  3404. serious even though I was trying to smile at it. I moved
  3405. the plate around in front of me. I smiled and it still had
  3406. the same sad, stern expression. It was near the end of the
  3407. day, the time of day I don’t like talking about, that
  3408. nameless hour when the sounds of evening would rise up
  3409. from every floor of the prison in a cortege of silence. I
  3410. moved closer to the window, and in the last light of day
  3411. I gazed at my reflection one more time. It was still
  3412. serious — and what was surprising about that, since at
  3413. that moment I was too? But at the same time, and for
  3414. the first time in months, I distinctly heard the sound
  3415. of my own voice. I recognized it as the same one that
  3416. had been ringing in my ears for many long days, and I
  3417. realized that all that time I had been talking to myself.
  3418. Then I remembered what the nurse at Maman’s funeral
  3419. said. No, there was no way out, and no one can imagine
  3420. what nights in prison are like.
  3421.  
  3422.  
  3423.  
  3424. 8 1
  3425.  
  3426.  
  3427.  
  3428.  
  3429. 3
  3430.  
  3431.  
  3432.  
  3433. But I can honestly say that the time from summer to
  3434. summer went very quickly. And I knew as soon as the
  3435. weather turned hot that something new was in store for
  3436. me. My case was set down for the last session of the
  3437. Court of Assizes, and that session was due to end some
  3438. time in June. The trial opened with the sun glaring out-
  3439. side. My lawyer had assured me that it wouldn’t last more
  3440. than two or three days. “Besides,” he had added, “the
  3441. court will be pressed for time. Yours isn’t the most im-
  3442. portant case of the session. Right after you, there’s a
  3443. parricide coming up.”
  3444.  
  3445. They came for me at seven-thirty in the morning and
  3446. I was driven to the courthouse in the prison van. The
  3447. two policemen took me into a small room that smelled
  3448. of darkness. We waited, seated near a door through
  3449. which we could hear voices, shouts, chairs being dragged
  3450. across the floor, and a lot of commotion which made me
  3451. think of those neighborhood fetes when the hall is
  3452. cleared for dancing after the concert. The policemen
  3453. told me we had to wait for the judges and one of them
  3454. offered me a cigarette, which I turned down. Shortly
  3455.  
  3456.  
  3457.  
  3458. 82
  3459.  
  3460.  
  3461.  
  3462.  
  3463. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3464.  
  3465.  
  3466.  
  3467. after that he asked me if I had the "jitters.” I said no —
  3468. and that, in a way, I was even interested in seeing a trial.
  3469. I’d never had the chance before. "Yeah,” said the other
  3470. policeman, "but it gets a little boring after a while.”
  3471.  
  3472. A short time later a small bell rang in the room.
  3473. Then they took my handcuffs off. They opened the door
  3474. and led me into the dock. The room was packed.
  3475. Despite the blinds, the sun filtered through in places
  3476. and the air was already stifling. They hadn’t opened the
  3477. windows. I sat down with the policemen standing on
  3478. either side of me. It was then that I noticed a row of
  3479. faces in front of me. They were all looking at me: I
  3480. realized that they were the jury. But I can’t say what
  3481. distinguished one from another. I had just one im-
  3482. pression: I was sitting across from a row of seats on a
  3483. streetcar and all these anonymous passengers were look-
  3484. ing over the new arrival to see if they could find some-
  3485. thing funny about him. I knew it was a silly idea since it
  3486. wasn’t anything funny they were after but a crime.
  3487. There isn’t much difference, though — in any case that
  3488. was the idea that came to me.
  3489.  
  3490. I was feeling a little dizzy too, with all those people
  3491. in that stuffy room. I looked around the courtroom again
  3492. but I couldn’t make out a single face. I think that at
  3493. first I hadn’t realized that all those people were crowding
  3494. in to see me. Usually people didn’t pay much attention
  3495. to me. It took some doing on my part to understand that
  3496. I was the cause of all the excitement. I said to the police-
  3497. man, “Some crowd!” He told me it was because of the
  3498.  
  3499.  
  3500.  
  3501. 83
  3502.  
  3503.  
  3504.  
  3505.  
  3506. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3507.  
  3508.  
  3509.  
  3510. press and he pointed to a group of men at a table just
  3511. below the jury box. He said, “That’s them.” I asked,
  3512. “Who?” and he repeated, “The press.” He knew one of
  3513. the reporters, who just then spotted him and was making
  3514. his way toward us. He was an older, friendly man with
  3515. a twisted little grin on his face. He gave the policeman a
  3516. warm handshake. I noticed then that everyone was
  3517. waving and exchanging greetings and talking, as if they
  3518. were in a club where people are glad to find themselves
  3519. among others from the same world. That is how I ex-
  3520. plained to myself the strange impression I had of being
  3521. odd man out, a kind of intruder. Yet the reporter turned
  3522. and spoke to me with a smile. He told me that he hoped
  3523. everything would go well for me. I thanked him and
  3524. he added, “You know, we’ve blown your case up a little.
  3525. Summer is the slow season for the news. And your story
  3526. and the parricide were the only ones worth bothering
  3527. about.” Then he pointed in the direction of the group
  3528. he had just left, at a little man who looked like a
  3529. fattened-up weasel. He told me that the man was a
  3530. special correspondent for a Paris paper. “Actually, he
  3531. didn’t come because of you. But since they assigned him
  3532. to cover the parricide trial, they asked him to send a dis-
  3533. patch about your case at the same time.” And again I
  3534. almost thanked him. But I thought that that would be
  3535. ridiculous. He waved cordially, shyly, and left us. We
  3536. waited a few more minutes.
  3537.  
  3538. My lawyer arrived, in his gown, surrounded by lots
  3539. of colleagues. He walked over to the reporters and shook
  3540.  
  3541.  
  3542.  
  3543. 84
  3544.  
  3545.  
  3546.  
  3547.  
  3548. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3549.  
  3550.  
  3551.  
  3552. some hands. They joked and laughed and looked com-
  3553. pletely at ease, until the moment when the bell in the
  3554. court rang. Everyone went back to his place. My lawyer
  3555. walked over to me, shook my hand, and advised me to
  3556. respond briefly to the questions that would be put to me,
  3557. not to volunteer anything, and to leave the rest to him.
  3558.  
  3559. To my left I heard the sound of a chair being pulled
  3560. out and I saw a tall, thin man dressed in red and wear-
  3561. ing a pince-nez who was carefully folding his robe as he
  3562. sat down. That was the prosecutor. A bailiff said, “All
  3563. rise.” At the same time two large fans started to whir.
  3564. Three judges, two in black, the third in red, entered with
  3565. files in hand and walked briskly to the rostrum which
  3566. dominated the room. The man in the red gown sat on
  3567. the chair in the middle, set his cap down in front of him,
  3568. wiped his bald little head with a handkerchief, and an-
  3569. nounced that the court was now in session.
  3570.  
  3571. The reporters already had their pens in hand. They
  3572. all had the same indifferent and somewhat snide look on
  3573. their faces. One of them, however, much younger than
  3574. the others, wearing gray flannels and a blue tie, had left
  3575. his pen lying in front of him and was looking at me. All
  3576. I could see in his slightly lopsided face were his two
  3577. very bright eyes, which were examining me closely
  3578. without betraying any definable emotion. And I had the
  3579. odd impression of being watched by myself. Maybe it
  3580. was for that reason, and also because I wasn’t familiar
  3581. with all the procedures, that I didn’t quite understand
  3582. everything that happened next: the drawing of lots for
  3583.  
  3584.  
  3585.  
  3586. 85
  3587.  
  3588.  
  3589.  
  3590.  
  3591. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3592.  
  3593.  
  3594.  
  3595. the jury; the questions put by the presiding judge to my
  3596. lawyer, the prosecutor, and the jury (each time, the
  3597. jurors’ heads would all turn toward the bench at the
  3598. same time); the quick reading of the indictment, in
  3599. which I recognized names of people and places; and
  3600. some more questions to my lawyer.
  3601.  
  3602. Anyway, the presiding judge said he was going to
  3603. proceed with the calling of witnesses. The bailiff read off
  3604. some names that caught my attention. In the middle of
  3605. what until then had been a shapeless mass of spectators,
  3606. I saw them stand up one by one, only to disappear
  3607. again through a side door : the director and the caretaker
  3608. from the home, old Thomas Perez, Raymond, Masson,
  3609. Salamano, and Marie. She waved to me, anxiously. I
  3610. was still feeling surprised that I hadn’t seen them before
  3611. when Celeste, the last to be called, stood up. I recog-
  3612. nized next to him the little woman from the restaurant,
  3613. with her jacket and her stiff and determined manner.
  3614. She was staring right at me. But I didn’t have time to
  3615. think about them, because the presiding judge started
  3616. speaking. He said that the formal proceedings were
  3617. about to begin and that he didn’t think he needed to
  3618. remind the public to remain silent. According to him,
  3619. he was there to conduct in an impartial manner the pro-
  3620. ceedings of a case which he would consider objectively.
  3621. The verdict returned by the jury would be taken in a
  3622. spirit of justice, and, in any event, he would have the
  3623. courtroom cleared at the slightest disturbance.
  3624.  
  3625. It was getting hotter, and I could see the people in
  3626.  
  3627.  
  3628.  
  3629. 86
  3630.  
  3631.  
  3632.  
  3633.  
  3634. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3635.  
  3636.  
  3637.  
  3638. the courtroom fanning themselves with newspapers,
  3639. which made a continuous low rustling sound. The
  3640. presiding judge gave a signal and the bailiff brought
  3641. over three fans made of woven straw which the three
  3642. judges started waving immediately.
  3643.  
  3644. My examination began right away. The presiding
  3645. judge questioned me calmly and even, it seemed to me,
  3646. with a hint of cordiality. Once again he had me state
  3647. my name, age, date and place of birth, and although it
  3648. irritated me, I realized it was only natural, because it
  3649. would be a very serious thing to try the wrong man. Then
  3650. he reread the narrative of what I’d done, turning to me
  3651. every few sentences to ask “Is that correct?” Each time
  3652. I answered “Yes, Your Honor,” as my lawyer had in-
  3653. structed me to do. It took a long time because the
  3654. judge went into minute detail in his narrative. The
  3655. reporters were writing the whole time. I was conscious
  3656. of being watched by the youngest of them and by
  3657. the little robot woman. Everyone on the row of streetcar
  3658. seats was turned directly toward the judge, who coughed,
  3659. leafed through his file, and turned toward me, fanning
  3660. himself.
  3661.  
  3662. He told me that he now had to turn to some ques-
  3663. tions that might seem irrelevant to my case but might in
  3664. fact have a significant bearing on it. I knew right away
  3665. he was going to talk about Maman again, and at the
  3666. same time I could feel how much it irritated me. He
  3667. asked me wh) I had put Maman in the home. I answered
  3668. that it was because I didn’t have the money to have her
  3669.  
  3670.  
  3671.  
  3672. §7
  3673.  
  3674.  
  3675.  
  3676.  
  3677. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3678.  
  3679.  
  3680.  
  3681. looked after and cared for. He asked me if it had been
  3682. hard on me, and I answered that Maman and I didn’t
  3683. expect anything from each other anymore, or from any-
  3684. one else either, and that we had both gotten used to our
  3685. new lives. The judge then said that he didn’t want to
  3686. dwell on this point, and he asked the prosecutor if he had
  3687. any further questions.
  3688.  
  3689. The prosecutor had his back half-turned to me, and
  3690. without looking at me he stated that, with the court’s
  3691. permission, he would like to know whether I had gone
  3692. back to the spring by myself intending to kill the Arab.
  3693. “No,” I said. Well, then, why was I armed and why
  3694. did I return to precisely that spot? I said it just happened
  3695. that way. And the prosecutor noted in a nasty voice,
  3696. “That will be all for now.” After that things got a little
  3697. confused, at least for me. But after some conferring, the
  3698. judge announced that the hearing was adjourned until
  3699. the afternoon, at which time the witnesses would be
  3700. heard.
  3701.  
  3702. I didn’t even have time to think. I was taken out,
  3703. put into the van, and driven to the prison, where I had
  3704. something to eat. After a very short time, just long
  3705. enough for me to realize I was tired, they came back
  3706. for me; the whole thing started again, and I found
  3707. myself in the same courtroom, in front of the same
  3708. faces. Only it was much hotter, and as if by some
  3709. miracle each member of the jury, the prosecutor, my
  3710. lawyer, and some of the reporters, too, had been pro-
  3711. vided with straw fans. The young reporter and the little
  3712.  
  3713.  
  3714.  
  3715. 88
  3716.  
  3717.  
  3718.  
  3719.  
  3720. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3721.  
  3722.  
  3723.  
  3724. robot woman were still there. They weren’t fanning
  3725. themselves, but they were still watching me without
  3726. saying a word.
  3727.  
  3728. I wiped away the sweat covering my face, and I had
  3729. barely become aware of where I was and what I was
  3730. doing when I heard the director of the home being
  3731. called. He was asked whether Maman ever complained
  3732. about me, and he said yes but that some of it was just a
  3733. way the residents all had of complaining about their
  3734. relatives. The judge had him clarify whether she used
  3735. to reproach me for having put her in the home, and the
  3736. director again said yes. But this time he didn’t add any-
  3737. thing else. To another question he replied that he had
  3738. been surprised by my calm the day of the funeral. He
  3739. was asked what he meant by “calm.” The director then
  3740. looked down at the tips of his shoes and said that I
  3741. hadn’t wanted to see Maman, that I hadn’t cried once,
  3742. and that I had left right after the funeral without pay-
  3743. ing my last respects at her grave. And one other thing
  3744. had surprised him: one of the men who worked for the
  3745. undertaker had told him I didn’t know how old Maman
  3746. was. There was a brief silence, and then the judge
  3747. asked him if he was sure I was the man he had just been
  3748. speaking of. The director didn’t understand the question,
  3749. so the judge told him, “It’s a formality.” He then asked
  3750. the prosecutor if he had any questions to put to the
  3751. witness, and the prosecutor exclaimed, “Oh no, that is
  3752. quite sufficient!” with such glee and with such a tri-
  3753. umphant look in my direction that for the first time in
  3754.  
  3755.  
  3756.  
  3757. 89
  3758.  
  3759.  
  3760.  
  3761.  
  3762. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3763.  
  3764.  
  3765.  
  3766. years I had this stupid urge to cry, because I could feel
  3767. how much all these people hated me.
  3768.  
  3769. After asking the jury and my lawyer if they had any
  3770. questions, the judge called the caretaker. The same
  3771. ritual was repeated for him as for all the others. As he
  3772. took the stand the caretaker glanced at me and then
  3773. looked away. He answered the questions put to him. He
  3774. said I hadn’t wanted to see Maman, that I had smoked
  3775. and slept some, and that I had had some coffee. It was
  3776. then I felt a stirring go through the room and for the
  3777. first time I realized that I was guilty. The caretaker was
  3778. asked to repeat the part about the coffee and the cigarette.
  3779. The prosecutor looked at me with an ironic gleam in his
  3780. eye. At that point my lawyer asked the caretaker if it
  3781. wasn’t true that he had smoked a cigarette with me. But
  3782. the prosecutor objected vehemently to this question.
  3783. “Who is on trial here and what kind of tactics are these,
  3784. trying to taint the witnesses for the prosecution in an
  3785. effort to detract from testimony that remains nonethe-
  3786. less overwhelming!” In spite of all that, the judge directed
  3787. the caretaker to answer the question. The old man
  3788. looked embarrassed and said, “I know I was wrong to do
  3789. it. But I couldn’t refuse the cigarette when monsieur
  3790. offered it to me.” Lastly, I was asked if I had anything to
  3791. add. “Nothing,” I said, “except that the witness is right.
  3792. It’s true, I did offer him a cigarette.” The caretaker gave
  3793. me a surprised and somehow grateful look. He hesitated
  3794. and then he said that he was the one who offered me
  3795. the coffee. My lawyer was exultant and stated loudly that
  3796.  
  3797.  
  3798.  
  3799. 90
  3800.  
  3801.  
  3802.  
  3803.  
  3804. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3805.  
  3806.  
  3807.  
  3808. the jury would take note of the fact. But the prosecutor
  3809. shouted over our heads and said, “Indeed, the gentlemen
  3810. of the jury will take note of the fact. And they will
  3811. conclude that a stranger may offer a cup of coffee, but
  3812. that beside the body of the one who brought him into the
  3813. world, a son should have refused it.” The caretaker went
  3814. back to his bench.
  3815.  
  3816. When Thomas Perez’s turn came, a bailiff had to
  3817. hold him up and help him get to the witness stand.
  3818. Perez said it was really my mother he had known and
  3819. that he had seen me only once, on the day of the funeral.
  3820. He was asked how I had acted that day and he replied,
  3821. “You understand, I was too sad. So I didn’t see anything.
  3822. My sadness made it impossible to see anything. Be-
  3823. cause for me it was a very great sadness. And I even
  3824. fainted. So I wasn’t able to see monsieur.” The prosecu-
  3825. tor asked him if he had at least seen me cry. Perez
  3826. answered no. The prosecutor in turn said, “The gentle-
  3827. men of the jury will take note.” But my lawyer got
  3828. angry. He asked Perez in what seemed to be an exag-
  3829. gerated tone of voice if he had seen me not cry. Perez
  3830. said, “No.” The spectators laughed. And my lawyer,
  3831. rolling up one of his sleeves, said with finality, “Here
  3832. we have a perfect reflection of this entire trial : everything
  3833. is true and nothing is true!” The prosecutor had a blank
  3834. expression on his face, and with a pencil he was poking
  3835. holes in the title page of his case file.
  3836.  
  3837. After a five-minute recess, during which my lawyer
  3838. told me that everything was working out for the best, we
  3839.  
  3840.  
  3841.  
  3842. 9 '
  3843.  
  3844.  
  3845.  
  3846.  
  3847. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3848.  
  3849.  
  3850.  
  3851. heard the testimony of Celeste, who was called by the
  3852. defense. “The defense” meant me. Every now and then
  3853. Celeste would glance over in my direction and rotate
  3854. his panama hat in his hands. He was wearing the new
  3855. suit he used to put on to go with me to the races some-
  3856. times on Sundays. But I think he must not have been
  3857. able to get his collar on, because he only had a brass
  3858. stud keeping his shirt fastened. He was asked if I was
  3859. a customer of his and he said, “Yes, but he was also a
  3860. friend”; what he thought of me, and he answered that I
  3861. was a man; what he meant by that, and he stated that
  3862. everybody knew what that meant; if he had noticed that
  3863. I was ever withdrawn, and all he would admit was that
  3864. I didn’t speak unless I had something to say. The prosecu-
  3865. tor asked him if I kept up with my bill. Celeste laughed
  3866. and said, “Between us those were just details.” He was
  3867. again asked what he thought about my crime. He put his
  3868. hands on the edge of the box, and you could tell he had
  3869. something prepared. He said, “The way I see it, it’s bad
  3870. luck. Everybody knows what bad luck is. It leaves you
  3871. defenseless. And there it is! The way I see it, it’s bad
  3872. luck.” He was about to go on, but the judge told him
  3873. that that would be all and thanked him. Celeste was a
  3874. little taken aback. But he stated that he had more to say.
  3875. He was asked to be brief. He again repeated that it was
  3876. bad luck. And the judge said, “Yes, fine. But we are here
  3877. to judge just this sort of bad luck. Thank you.” And
  3878. as if he had reached the end of both his knowledge and
  3879. his goodwill, Celeste then turned toward me. It looked
  3880.  
  3881.  
  3882.  
  3883. 92
  3884.  
  3885.  
  3886.  
  3887.  
  3888. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3889.  
  3890.  
  3891.  
  3892. to me as if his eyes were glistening and his lips were
  3893. trembling. He seemed to be asking me what else he
  3894. could do. I said nothing; I made no gesture of any kind,
  3895. but it was the first time in my life I ever wanted to kiss
  3896. a man. The judge again instructed him to step down.
  3897. Celeste went and sat among the spectators. He sat there
  3898. throughout the entire trial, leaning forward, his elbows on
  3899. his knees, the panama hat in his hands, listening to
  3900. everything that was said.
  3901.  
  3902. Marie entered. She had put on a hat and she was still
  3903. beautiful. But I liked her better with her hair loose.
  3904. From where I was sitting, I could just make out the
  3905. slight fullness of her breasts, and I recognized the little
  3906. pout of her lower lip. She seemed very nervous. Right
  3907. away she was asked how long she had known me. She
  3908. said since the time she worked in our office. The judge
  3909. wanted to know what her relation to me was. She said
  3910. she was my friend. To another question she answered
  3911. yes, it was true that she was supposed to marry me. Flip-
  3912. ping through a file, the prosecutor asked her bluntly
  3913. when our “liaison” had begun. She indicated the date.
  3914. The prosecutor remarked indifferently that if he was
  3915. not mistaken, that was the day after Maman died. Then
  3916. in a slightly ironic tone he said that he didn’t mean to
  3917. dwell on such a delicate matter, and that he fully ap-
  3918. preciated Marie’s misgivings, but (and here his tone
  3919. grew firmer) that he was duty bound to go beyond
  3920. propriety. So he asked Marie to describe briefly that day
  3921. when I had first known her. Marie didn’t want to, but
  3922.  
  3923.  
  3924.  
  3925. 93
  3926.  
  3927.  
  3928.  
  3929.  
  3930. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3931.  
  3932.  
  3933.  
  3934. at the prosecutor’s insistence, she went over our swim,
  3935. the movies, and going back to my place. The prosecutor
  3936. said that after Marie had given her statements to the
  3937. examining magistrate, he had consulted the movie list-
  3938. ings for that day. He added that Marie herself would tell
  3939. the court what film was showing. In an almost expression-
  3940. less voice she did in fact tell the court that it was a
  3941. Fernandel film. By the time she had finished there was
  3942. complete silence in the courtroom. The prosecutor then
  3943. rose and, very gravely and with what struck me as real
  3944. emotion in his voice, his finger pointing at me, said
  3945. slowly and distinctly, “Gentlemen of the jury, the day
  3946. after his mother’s death, this man was out swimming,
  3947. starting up a dubious liaison, and going to the movies, a
  3948. comedy, for laughs. I have nothing further to say.” He
  3949. sat down in the still-silent courtroom. But all of a
  3950. sudden Marie began to sob, saying it wasn’t like that,
  3951. there was more to it, and that she was being made to say
  3952. the opposite of what she was thinking, that she knew me
  3953. and I hadn’t done anything wrong. But at a signal from
  3954. the judge, the bailiff ushered her out and the trial pro-
  3955. ceeded.
  3956.  
  3957. Hardly anyone listened after that when Masson testi-
  3958. fied that I was an honest man “and I’d even say a
  3959. decent one.” Hardly anyone listened to Salamano either,
  3960. when he recalled how I had been good to his dog and
  3961. when he answered a question about my mother and me
  3962. by saying that I had run out of things to say to Maman
  3963. and that was why I’d put her in the home. “You must
  3964.  
  3965.  
  3966.  
  3967. 94
  3968.  
  3969.  
  3970.  
  3971.  
  3972. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  3973.  
  3974.  
  3975.  
  3976. understand,” Salamano kept saying, ‘‘you must under-
  3977. stand.” But no one seemed to understand. He was
  3978. ushered out.
  3979.  
  3980. Next came Raymond, who was the last witness. He
  3981. waved to me and all of a sudden, he blurted out that I was
  3982. innocent. But the judge advised him that he was being
  3983. asked not for judgments but for facts. He was instructed
  3984. to wait for the questions before responding. He was
  3985. directed to state precisely what his relations with the
  3986. victim were. Raymond took this opportunity to say that
  3987. he was the one the victim hated ever since he had hit
  3988. the guy’s sister. Nevertheless, the judge asked him
  3989. whether the victim hadn’t also had reason to hate me.
  3990. Raymond said that my being at the beach was just
  3991. chance. The prosecutor then asked him how it was that
  3992. the letter that set the whole drama in motion had been
  3993. written by me. Raymond responded that it was just
  3994. chance. The prosecutor retorted that chance already had
  3995. a lot of misdeeds on its conscience in this case. He
  3996. wanted to know if it was just by chance that I hadn’t
  3997. intervened when Raymond had beaten up his girlfriend,
  3998. just by chance that I had acted as a witness at the police
  3999. station, and again just by chance that my statements on
  4000. that occasion had proved to be so convenient. Finishing
  4001. up, he asked Raymond how he made his living, and
  4002. when Raymond replied “warehouse guard,” the prosecu-
  4003. tor informed the jury that it was common knowledge that
  4004. the witness practiced the profession of procurer. I was
  4005. his friend and accomplice. They had before them the
  4006.  
  4007.  
  4008.  
  4009. 95
  4010.  
  4011.  
  4012.  
  4013.  
  4014. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4015.  
  4016.  
  4017.  
  4018. basest of crimes, a crime made worse than sordid by the
  4019. fact that they were dealing with a monster, a man with-
  4020. out morals. Raymond wanted to defend himself and my
  4021. lawyer objected, but they were instructed that they must
  4022. let the prosecutor finish. "I have little to add,” the prose-
  4023. cutor said. “Was he your friend?” he asked Raymond.
  4024. “Yes,” Raymond said. “We were pals.” The prosecutor
  4025. then put the same question to me, and I looked at Ray-
  4026. mond, who returned my gaze. I answered, “Yes.” The
  4027. prosecutor then turned to the jury and declared, “The
  4028. same man who the day after his mother died was in-
  4029. dulging in the most shameful debauchery killed a man
  4030. for the most trivial of reasons and did so in order to
  4031. settle an affair of unspeakable vice.”
  4032.  
  4033. He then sat down. But my lawyer had lost his
  4034. patience, and, raising his hands so high that his sleeves
  4035. fell, revealing the creases of a starched shirt, he shouted,
  4036. “Come now, is my client on trial for burying his mother
  4037. or for killing a man?” The spectators laughed. But the
  4038. prosecutor rose to his feet again, adjusted his robe, and
  4039. declared that only someone with the naivete of his
  4040. esteemed colleague could fail to appreciate that between
  4041. these two sets of facts there existed a profound, funda-
  4042. mental, and tragic relationship. “Indeed,” he loudly
  4043. exclaimed, “I accuse this man of burying his mother
  4044. with crime in his heart!” This pronouncement seemed
  4045. to have a strong effect on the people in the courtroom.
  4046. My lawyer shrugged his shoulders and wiped the sweat
  4047. from his brow. But he looked shaken himself, and I
  4048. realized that things weren’t going well for me.
  4049.  
  4050. 96
  4051.  
  4052.  
  4053.  
  4054.  
  4055. 0 THE STRANGER O
  4056.  
  4057.  
  4058.  
  4059. The trial was adjourned. As I was leaving the court-
  4060. house on my way back to the van, I recognized for a
  4061. brief moment the smell and color of the summer eve-
  4062. ning. In the darkness of my mobile prison I could make
  4063. out one by one, as if from the depths of my exhaustion,
  4064. all the familiar sounds of a town I loved and of a cer-
  4065. tain time of day when I used to feel happy. The cries
  4066. of the newspaper vendors in the already languid air, the
  4067. last few birds in the square, the shouts of the sandwich
  4068. sellers, the screech of the streetcars turning sharply
  4069. through the upper town, and that hum in the sky before
  4070. night engulfs the port: all this mapped out for me a
  4071. route I knew so well before going to prison and which
  4072. now I traveled blind. Yes, it was the hour when, a long
  4073. time ago, I was perfectly content. What awaited me
  4074. back then was always a night of easy, dreamless sleep.
  4075. And yet something had changed, since it was back to
  4076. my cell that I went to wait for the next day ... as if
  4077. familiar paths traced in summer skies could lead as
  4078. easily to prison as to the sleep of the innocent.
  4079.  
  4080.  
  4081.  
  4082. 97
  4083.  
  4084.  
  4085.  
  4086.  
  4087. 4
  4088.  
  4089.  
  4090.  
  4091. Even in the prisoner’s dock it’s always interesting to hear
  4092. people talk about you. And during the summations by
  4093. the prosecutor and my lawyer, there was a lot said about
  4094. me, maybe more about me than about my crime. But
  4095. were their two speeches so different after all? My lawyer
  4096. raised his arms and pleaded guilty, but with an explana-
  4097. tion. The prosecutor waved his hands and proclaimed my
  4098. guilt, but without an explanation. One thing bothered me
  4099. a little, though. Despite everything that was on my mind,
  4100. I felt like intervening every now and then, but my lawyer
  4101. kept telling me, “Just keep quiet — it won’t do your case
  4102. any good.” In a way, they seemed to be arguing the
  4103. case as if it had nothing to do with me. Everything was
  4104. happening without my participation. My fate was being
  4105. decided without anyone so much as asking my opinion.
  4106. There were times when I felt like breaking in on all of
  4107. them and saying, “Wait a minute! Who’s the accused
  4108. here? Being the accused counts for something. And I
  4109. have something to say!” But on second thought, I didn’t
  4110. have anything to say. Besides, I have to admit that what-
  4111. ever interest you can get people to take in you doesn’t
  4112.  
  4113.  
  4114.  
  4115. 98
  4116.  
  4117.  
  4118.  
  4119.  
  4120. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4121.  
  4122.  
  4123.  
  4124. last very long. For example, I got bored very quickly
  4125. with the prosecutor’s speech. Only bits and pieces — a
  4126. gesture or a long but isolated tirade — caught my atten-
  4127. tion or aroused my interest.
  4128.  
  4129. The gist of what he was saying, if I understood him
  4130. correctly, was that my crime was premeditated. At least
  4131. that is what he tried to show. As he himself said, “I will
  4132. prove it to you, gentlemen, and I will prove it in two
  4133. ways. First, in the blinding clarity of the facts, and
  4134. second, in the dim light cast by the mind of this
  4135. criminal soul.” He reminded the court of my insensi-
  4136. tivity; of my ignorance when asked Maman’s age; of my
  4137. swim the next day — with a woman; of the Fernandel
  4138. movie; and finally of my taking Marie home with me. It
  4139. took me a few minutes to understand the last part be-
  4140. cause he kept saying “his mistress” and to me she was
  4141. Marie. Then he came to the business with Raymond. I
  4142. thought his way of viewing the events had a certain
  4143. consistency. What he was saying was plausible. I had
  4144. agreed with Raymond to write the letter in order to lure
  4145. his mistress and submit her to mistreatment by a man
  4146. “of doubtful morality.” I had provoked Raymond’s ad-
  4147. versaries at the beach. Raymond had been wounded. I
  4148. had asked him to give me his gun. I had gone back
  4149. alone intending to use it. I had shot the Arab as I
  4150. planned. I had waited. And to make sure I had done the
  4151. job right, I fired four more shots, calmly, point-blank —
  4152. thoughtfully, as it were.
  4153.  
  4154. “And there you have it, gentlemen,” said the prosecu-
  4155.  
  4156.  
  4157.  
  4158. 99
  4159.  
  4160.  
  4161.  
  4162.  
  4163. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4164.  
  4165.  
  4166.  
  4167. tor. “I have retraced for you the course of events which
  4168. led this man to kill with full knowledge of his actions.
  4169. I stress this point," he said, "for this is no ordinary
  4170. murder, no thoughtless act for which you might find
  4171. mitigating circumstances. This man, gentlemen, this
  4172. man is intelligent. You heard him, didn’t you? He knows
  4173. how to answer. He knows the value of words. And no
  4174. one can say that he acted without realizing what he
  4175. was doing.”
  4176.  
  4177. I was listening, and I could hear that I was being
  4178. judged intelligent. But I couldn’t quite understand how
  4179. an ordinary man’s good qualities could become crushing
  4180. accusations against a guilty man. At least that was what
  4181. struck me, and I stopped listening to the prosecutor until
  4182. I heard him say, "Has he so much as expressed any re-
  4183. morse? Never, gentlemen. Not once during the pre-
  4184. liminary hearings did this man show emotion over his
  4185. heinous offense.” At that point, he turned in my direc-
  4186. tion, pointed his finger at me, and went on attacking me
  4187. without my ever really understanding why. Of course, I
  4188. couldn’t help admitting that he was right. I didn’t feel
  4189. much remorse for what I’d done. But I was surprised by
  4190. how relentless he was. I would have liked to have tried
  4191. explaining to him cordially, almost affectionately, that I
  4192. had never been able to truly feel remorse for anything.
  4193. My mind was always on what was coming next, today
  4194. or tomorrow. But naturally, given the position I’d been
  4195. put in, I couldn’t talk to anyone in that way. I didn’t
  4196. have the right to show any feeling or goodwill. And I
  4197.  
  4198.  
  4199.  
  4200. IOO
  4201.  
  4202.  
  4203.  
  4204.  
  4205. 0 THE STRANGER ©
  4206.  
  4207.  
  4208.  
  4209. tried to listen again, because the prosecutor started talk-
  4210. ing about my soul.
  4211.  
  4212. He said that he had peered into it and that he had
  4213. found nothing, gentlemen of the jury. He said the truth
  4214. was that I didn’t have a soul and that nothing human,
  4215. not one of the moral principles that govern men’s hearts,
  4216. was within my reach. “Of course,” he added, “we cannot
  4217. blame him for this. We cannot complain that he lacks
  4218. what it was not in his power to acquire. But here in this
  4219. court the wholly negative virtue of tolerance must give
  4220. way to the sterner but loftier virtue of justice. Espe-
  4221. cially when the emptiness of a man’s heart becomes, as
  4222. we find it has in this man, an abyss threatening to
  4223. swallow up society.” It was then that he talked about
  4224. my attitude toward Maman. He repeated what he had
  4225. said earlier in the proceedings. But it went on much
  4226. longer than when he was talking about my crime — so
  4227. long, in fact, that finally all I was aware of was how hot a
  4228. morning it was. At least until the prosecutor stopped and
  4229. after a short silence continued in a very low voice filled
  4230. with conviction: “Tomorrow, gentlemen, this same court
  4231. is to sit in judgment of the most monstrous of crimes : the
  4232. murder of a father.” According to him, the imagination re-
  4233. coiled before such an odious offense. He went so far
  4234. as to hope that human justice would mete out punish-
  4235. ment unflinchingly. But he wasn’t afraid to say it: my
  4236. callousness inspired in him a horror nearly greater than
  4237. that which he felt at the crime of parricide. And also
  4238. according to him, a man who is morally guilty of killing
  4239.  
  4240.  
  4241.  
  4242. ioi
  4243.  
  4244.  
  4245.  
  4246.  
  4247. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4248.  
  4249.  
  4250.  
  4251. his mother severs himself from society in the same way
  4252. as the man who raises a murderous hand against the
  4253. father who begat him. In any case, the one man paved
  4254. the way for the deeds of the other, in a sense fore-
  4255. shadowed and even legitimized them. "I am convinced,
  4256. gentlemen,” he added, raising his voice, “that you will
  4257. not think it too bold of me if I suggest to you that the
  4258. man who is seated in the dock is also guilty of the murder
  4259. to be tried in this court tomorrow. He must be punished
  4260. accordingly.” Here the prosecutor wiped his face, which
  4261. was glistening with sweat. He concluded by saying that
  4262. his duty was a painful one but that he would carry it
  4263. out resolutely. He stated that I had no place in a society
  4264. whose most fundamental rules I ignored and that I could
  4265. not appeal to the same human heart whose elementary
  4266. response I knew nothing of. “I ask you for this man’s
  4267. head,” he said, “and I do so with a heart at ease. For
  4268. if in the course of what has been a long career I have
  4269. had occasion to call for the death penalty, never as
  4270. strongly as today have I felt this painful duty made
  4271. easier, lighter, clearer by the certain knowledge of a
  4272. sacred imperative and by the horror I feel when I look
  4273. into a man’s face and all I see is a monster.”
  4274.  
  4275. When the prosecutor returned to his seat, there was a
  4276. rather long silence. My head was spinning with heat and
  4277. astonishment. The presiding judge cleared his throat and
  4278. in a very low voice asked me if I had anything to add. I
  4279. stood up, and since I did wish to speak, I said, almost at
  4280. random, in fact, that I never intended to kill the Arab.
  4281.  
  4282.  
  4283.  
  4284. 102
  4285.  
  4286.  
  4287.  
  4288.  
  4289. 0 THE STRANGER O
  4290.  
  4291.  
  4292.  
  4293. The judge replied by saying that at least that was an
  4294. assertion, that until then he hadn’t quite grasped the
  4295. nature of my defense, and that before hearing from my
  4296. lawyer he would be happy to have me state precisely the
  4297. motives for my act. Fumbling a little with my words and
  4298. realizing how ridiculous I sounded, I blurted out that
  4299. it was because of the sun. People laughed. My lawyer
  4300. threw up his hands, and immediately after that he was
  4301. given the floor. But he stated that it was late and that he
  4302. would need several hours. He requested that the trial be
  4303. reconvened in the afternoon. The court granted his
  4304. motion.
  4305.  
  4306. That afternoon the big fans were still churning
  4307. the thick air in the courtroom and the jurors’ brightly
  4308. colored fans were all moving in unison. It seemed to me
  4309. as if my lawyer’s summation would never end. At one
  4310. point, though, I listened, because he was saying, “It is
  4311. true I killed a man.” He went on like that, saying “I”
  4312. whenever he was speaking about me. I was completely
  4313. taken aback. I leaned over to one of the guards and
  4314. asked him why he was doing that. He told me to keep
  4315. quiet, and a few seconds later he added, “All lawyers
  4316. do it.” I thought it was a way to exclude me even further
  4317. from the case, reduce me to nothing, and, in a sense, sub-
  4318. stitute himself for me. But I think I was already very
  4319. far removed from that courtroom. Besides, my lawyer
  4320. seemed ridiculous to me. He rushed through a plea of
  4321. provocation, and then he too talked about my soul. But
  4322. to me he seemed to be a lot less talented than the
  4323.  
  4324.  
  4325.  
  4326.  
  4327. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4328.  
  4329.  
  4330.  
  4331. prosecutor. “I, too,” he said, "have peered into this man’s
  4332. soul, but unlike the esteemed representative of the
  4333. government prosecutor’s office, I did see something there,
  4334. and I can assure you that I read it like an open book.”
  4335. What he read was that I was an honest man, a steadily
  4336. employed, tireless worker, loyal to the firm that employed
  4337. him, well liked, and sympathetic to the misfortunes of
  4338. others. To him, I was a model son who had supported
  4339. his mother as long as he could. In the end I had hoped
  4340. that a home for the aged would give the old woman the
  4341. comfort that with my limited means I could not provide
  4342. for her. “Gentlemen,” he added, "I am amazed that so
  4343. much has been made of this home. For after all, if it
  4344. were necessary to prove the usefulness and importance
  4345. of such institutions, all one would have to say is that
  4346. it is the state itself which subsidizes them.” The only
  4347. thing is, he didn’t say anything about the funeral, and I
  4348. thought that that was a glaring omission in his sum-
  4349. mation. But all the long speeches, all the interminable
  4350. days and hours that people had spent talking about my
  4351. soul, had left me with the impression of a colorless swirl-
  4352. ing river that was making me dizzy.
  4353.  
  4354. In the end, all I remember is that while my lawyer
  4355. went on talking, I could hear through the expanse of
  4356. chambers and courtrooms an ice cream vendor blowing
  4357. his tin trumpet out in the street. I was assailed by
  4358. memories of a life that wasn’t mine anymore, but one
  4359. in which I’d found the simplest and most lasting joys:
  4360. the smells of summer, the part of town I loved, a certain
  4361. evening sky, Marie’s dresses and the way she laughed.
  4362.  
  4363. 104
  4364.  
  4365.  
  4366.  
  4367.  
  4368. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4369.  
  4370.  
  4371.  
  4372. The utter pointlessness of whatever I was doing there
  4373. seized me by the throat, and all I wanted was to get it
  4374. over with and get back to my cell and sleep. I barely
  4375. even heard when my lawyer, wrapping up, exclaimed
  4376. that the jury surely would not send an honest, hard-
  4377. working man to his death because he had lost control of
  4378. himself for one moment, and then he asked them to find
  4379. extenuating circumstances for a crime for which I was
  4380. already suffering the most agonizing of punishments —
  4381. eternal remorse. Court was adjourned and my lawyer
  4382. sat back down. He looked exhausted. But his colleagues
  4383. came over to shake his hand. I heard: “That was
  4384. brilliant!” One of them even appealed to me as a wit-
  4385. ness. “Wasn’t it?” he said. I agreed, but my congratula-
  4386. tions weren’t sincere, because I was too tired.
  4387.  
  4388. Meanwhile, the sun was getting low outside and it
  4389. wasn’t as hot anymore. From what street noises I could
  4390. hear, I sensed the sweetness of evening coming on.
  4391. There we all were, waiting. And what we were all wait-
  4392. ing for really concerned only me. I looked around the
  4393. room again. Everything was the same as it had been the
  4394. first day. My eyes met those of the little robot woman
  4395. and the reporter in the gray jacket. That reminded me
  4396. that I hadn’t tried to catch Marie’s eye once during the
  4397. whole trial. I hadn’t forgotten about her; I’d just had too
  4398. much to do. I saw her sitting between Celeste and Ray-
  4399. mond. She made a little gesture as if to say “At last.”
  4400. There was a worried little smile on her face. But my
  4401. heart felt nothing, and I couldn’t even return her smile.
  4402.  
  4403. The judges came back in. Very quickly a series of
  4404. 105
  4405.  
  4406.  
  4407.  
  4408.  
  4409. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4410.  
  4411.  
  4412.  
  4413. questions was read to the jury. I heard “guilty of
  4414. murder” . . . "premeditated” . . . “extenuating cir-
  4415. cumstances.” The jurors filed out, and I was taken to
  4416. the little room where I had waited before. My lawyer
  4417. joined me. He was very talkative and spoke to me more
  4418. confidently and cordially than he ever had before. He
  4419. thought that everything would go well and that I would
  4420. get off with a few years in prison or at hard labor. I
  4421. asked him whether he thought there was any chance of
  4422. overturning the verdict if it was unfavorable. He said
  4423. no. His tactic had been not to file any motions so as not
  4424. to antagonize the jury. He explained to me that verdicts
  4425. weren’t set aside just like that, for nothing. That seemed
  4426. obvious and I accepted his logic. Looking at it objectively,
  4427. it made perfect sense. Otherwise there would be too
  4428. much pointless paperwork. "Anyway,” he said, “we can
  4429. always appeal. But I’m convinced that the outcome will
  4430. be favorable.”
  4431.  
  4432. We waited a long time — almost three-quarters of an
  4433. hour, I think. Then a bell rang. My lawyer left me, say-
  4434. ing, “The foreman of the jury is going to announce the
  4435. verdict. You’ll only be brought in for the passing of
  4436. sentence.” Doors slammed. People were running on stairs
  4437. somewhere, but I couldn’t tell if they were nearby or far
  4438. away. Then I heard a muffled voice reading something in
  4439. the courtroom. When the bell rang again, when the
  4440. door to the dock opened, what rose to meet me was the
  4441. silence in the courtroom, silence and the strange feeling
  4442. I had when I noticed that the young reporter had turned
  4443.  
  4444.  
  4445.  
  4446. 106
  4447.  
  4448.  
  4449.  
  4450.  
  4451. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4452.  
  4453.  
  4454.  
  4455. his eyes away. I didn’t look in Marie’s direction. I didn’t
  4456. have time to, because the presiding judge told me in
  4457. bizarre language that I was to have my head cut off in a
  4458. public square in the name of the French people. Then
  4459. it seemed to me that I suddenly knew what was on
  4460. everybody’s face. It was a look of consideration, I’m sure.
  4461. The policemen were very gentle with me. The lawyer
  4462. put his hand on my wrist. I wasn’t thinking about any-
  4463. thing anymore. But the presiding judge asked me if I
  4464. had anything to say. I thought about it. I said, “No.”
  4465. That’s when they took me away.
  4466.  
  4467.  
  4468.  
  4469. 107
  4470.  
  4471.  
  4472.  
  4473.  
  4474. 5
  4475.  
  4476.  
  4477.  
  4478. For the third time I’ve refused to see the chaplain. I
  4479. don’t have anything to say to him; I don’t feel like
  4480. talking, and I’ll be seeing him soon enough as it is. All
  4481. I care about right now is escaping the machinery of
  4482. justice, seeing if there’s any way out of the inevitable.
  4483. They’ve put me in a different cell. From this one, when
  4484. I’m stretched out on my bunk, I see the sky and that’s
  4485. all I see. I spend my days watching how the dwindling
  4486. of color turns day into night. Lying here, I put my
  4487. hands behind my head and wait. I can’t count the times
  4488. I’ve wondered if there have ever been any instances of
  4489. condemned men escaping the relentless machinery, dis-
  4490. appearing before the execution or breaking through the
  4491. cordon of police. Then I blame myself every time for
  4492. not having paid enough attention to accounts of execu-
  4493. tions. A man should always take an interest in those
  4494. things. You never know what might happen. I’d read
  4495. stories in the papers like everybody else. But there must
  4496. have been books devoted to the subject that I’d never
  4497. been curious enough to look into. Maybe I would have
  4498. found some accounts of escapes in them. I might have
  4499.  
  4500.  
  4501.  
  4502. 108
  4503.  
  4504.  
  4505.  
  4506.  
  4507. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4508.  
  4509.  
  4510.  
  4511. discovered that in at least one instance the wheel had
  4512. stopped, that in spite of all the unrelenting calculation,
  4513. chance and luck had, at least once, changed something.
  4514. Just once! In a way, I think that would have been
  4515. enough. My heart would have taken over from there.
  4516. The papers were always talking about the debt owed to
  4517. society. According to them, it had to be paid. But that
  4518. doesn’t speak to the imagination. What really counted
  4519. was the possibility of escape, a leap to freedom, out of
  4520. the implacable ritual, a wild run for it that would give
  4521. whatever chance for hope there was. Of course, hope
  4522. meant being cut down on some street comer, as you ran
  4523. like mad, by a random bullet. But when I really thought
  4524. it through, nothing was going to allow me such a luxury.
  4525. Everything was against it; I would just be caught up in
  4526. the machinery again.
  4527.  
  4528. Despite my willingness to understand, I just couldn’t
  4529. accept such arrogant certainty. Because, after all, there
  4530. really was something ridiculously out of proportion be-
  4531. tween the verdict such certainty was based on and the
  4532. imperturbable march of events from the moment the
  4533. verdict was announced. The fact that the sentence had
  4534. been read at eight o’clock at night and not at five o’clock,
  4535. the fact that it could have been an entirely different
  4536. one, the fact that it had been decided by men who change
  4537. their underwear, the fact that it had been handed down
  4538. in the name of some vague notion called the French (or
  4539. German, or Chinese) people — all of it seemed to de-
  4540. tract from the seriousness of the decision. I was forced
  4541.  
  4542.  
  4543.  
  4544. jog
  4545.  
  4546.  
  4547.  
  4548.  
  4549. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4550.  
  4551.  
  4552.  
  4553. to admit, however, that from the moment it had been
  4554. passed its consequences became as real and as serious
  4555. as the wall against which I pressed the length of my
  4556. body.
  4557.  
  4558. At times like this I remembered a story Maman used
  4559. to tell me about my father. I never knew him. Maybe
  4560. the only thing I did know about the man was the story
  4561. Maman would tell me back then : he’d gone to watch a
  4562. murderer be executed. Just the thought of going had
  4563. made him sick to his stomach. But he went anyway,
  4564. and when he came back he spent half the morning
  4565. throwing up. I remember feeling a little disgusted by
  4566. him at the time. But now I understood, it was perfectly
  4567. normal. How had I not seen that there was nothing
  4568. more important than an execution, and that when you
  4569. come right down to it, it was the only thing a man
  4570. could truly be interested in? If I ever got out of this
  4571. prison I would go and watch every execution there was.
  4572. But I think it was a mistake even to consider the pos-
  4573. sibility. Because at the thought that one fine morning I
  4574. would find myself a free man standing behind a cordon
  4575. of police — on the outside, as it were — at the thought
  4576. of being the spectator who comes to watch and then can
  4577. go and throw up afterwards, a wave of poisoned joy rose
  4578. in my throat. But I wasn’t being reasonable. It was a
  4579. mistake to let myself get carried away by such imaginings,
  4580. because the next minute I would get so cold that I would
  4581. curl up into a ball under my blanket and my teeth would
  4582. be chattering and I couldn’t make them stop.
  4583.  
  4584.  
  4585.  
  4586. i io
  4587.  
  4588.  
  4589.  
  4590.  
  4591. 0 THE STRANGER O
  4592.  
  4593.  
  4594.  
  4595. But naturally, you can’t always be reasonable. At
  4596. other times, for instance, I would make up new laws. I
  4597. would reform the penal code. I’d realized that the most
  4598. important thing was to give the condemned man a
  4599. chance. Even one in a thousand was good enough to
  4600. set things right. So it seemed to me that you could come
  4601. up with a mixture of chemicals that if ingested by the
  4602. patient (that’s the word I’d use: "patient”) would kill
  4603. him nine times out of ten. But he would know this —
  4604. that would be the one condition. For by giving it some
  4605. hard thought, by considering the whole thing calmly, I
  4606. could see that the trouble with the guillotine was that
  4607. you had no chance at all, absolutely none. The fact was
  4608. that it had been decided once and for all that the patient
  4609. was to die. It was an open-and-shut case, a fixed arrange-
  4610. ment, a tacit agreement that there was no question of
  4611. going back on. If by some extraordinary chance the
  4612. blade failed, they would just start over. So the thing
  4613. that bothered me most was that the condemned man
  4614. had to hope the machine would work the first time. And
  4615. I say that’s wrong. And in a way I was right. But in
  4616. another way I was forced to admit that that was the
  4617. whole secret of good organization. In other words, the
  4618. condemned man was forced into a kind of moral col-
  4619. laboration. It was in his interest that everything go off
  4620. without a hitch.
  4621.  
  4622. I was also made to see that until that moment I’d had
  4623. mistaken ideas about these things. For a long time I
  4624. believed — and I don’t know why — that to get to the
  4625.  
  4626.  
  4627.  
  4628. 1 1 1
  4629.  
  4630.  
  4631.  
  4632.  
  4633. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4634.  
  4635.  
  4636.  
  4637. guillotine you had to climb stairs onto a scaffold. I think
  4638. it was because of the French Revolution — I mean, be-
  4639. cause of everything I’d been taught or shown about it.
  4640. But one morning I remembered seeing a photograph that
  4641. appeared in the papers at the time of a much-talked-about
  4642. execution. In reality, the machine was set up right on
  4643. the ground, as simple as you please. It was much
  4644. narrower than I’d thought. It was funny I’d never
  4645. noticed that before. I’d been struck by this picture be-
  4646. cause the guillotine looked like such a precision in-
  4647. strument, perfect and gleaming. You always get exag-
  4648. gerated notions of things you don’t know anything about.
  4649. I was made to see that contrary to what I thought,
  4650. everything was very simple: the guillotine is on the
  4651. same level as the man approaching it. He walks up to
  4652. it the way you walk up to another person. That bothered
  4653. me too. Mounting the scaffold, going right up into the
  4654. sky, was something the imagination could hold on to.
  4655. Whereas, once again, the machine destroyed everything:
  4656. you were killed discreetly, with a little shame and with
  4657. great precision.
  4658.  
  4659. There were two other things I was always thinking
  4660. about: the dawn and my appeal. I would reason with
  4661. myself, though, and try not to think about them any-
  4662. more. I would stretch out, look at the sky, and force
  4663. myself to find something interesting about it. It would
  4664. turn green: that was evening. I would make another
  4665. effort to divert my thoughts. I would listen to my heart-
  4666. beat. I couldn’t imagine that this sound which had been
  4667. with me for so long could ever stop. I’ve never really
  4668.  
  4669.  
  4670.  
  4671. 1 12
  4672.  
  4673.  
  4674.  
  4675.  
  4676. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4677.  
  4678.  
  4679.  
  4680. had much of an imagination. But still I would try to
  4681. picture the exact moment when the beating of my
  4682. heart would no longer be going on inside my head. But
  4683. it was no use. The dawn or my appeal would still be
  4684. there. I would end up telling myself that the most
  4685. rational thing was not to hold myself back.
  4686.  
  4687. They always came at dawn, I knew that. And so I
  4688. spent my nights waiting for that dawn. I’ve never liked
  4689. being surprised. If something is going to happen to me,
  4690. I want to be there. That’s why I ended up sleeping only
  4691. a little bit during the day and then, all night long, waited
  4692. patiently for the first light to show on the pane of sky.
  4693. The hardest time was that uncertain hour when I knew
  4694. they usually set to work. After midnight, I would wait
  4695. and watch. . My ears had never heard so many noises or
  4696. picked up such small sounds. One thing I can say,
  4697. though, is that in a certain way I was lucky that whole
  4698. time, since I never heard footsteps. Maman used to say
  4699. that you can always find something to be happy about.
  4700. In my prison, when the sky turned red and a new day
  4701. slipped into my cell, I found out that she was right.
  4702. Because I might just as easily have heard footsteps and
  4703. my heart could have burst. Even though I would rush
  4704. to the door at the slightest shuffle, even though, with
  4705. my ear pressed to the wood, I would wait frantically
  4706. until I heard the sound of my own breathing, terrified
  4707. to find it so hoarse, like a dog’s panting, my heart would
  4708. not burst after all, and I would have gained another
  4709. twenty-four hours.
  4710.  
  4711. All day long there was the thought of my appeal. I
  4712.  
  4713. 113
  4714.  
  4715.  
  4716.  
  4717.  
  4718. 0 THE STRANGER ©
  4719.  
  4720.  
  4721.  
  4722. think I got everything out of it that I could. I would
  4723. assess my holdings and get the maximum return on my
  4724. thoughts. I would always begin by assuming the worst:
  4725. my appeal was denied. “Well, so I’m going to die.”
  4726. Sooner than other people will, obviously. But everybody
  4727. knows life isn’t worth living. Deep down I knew per-
  4728. fectly well that it doesn’t much matter whether you
  4729. die at thirty or at seventy, since in either case other
  4730. men and women will naturally go on living — and for
  4731. thousands of years. In fact, nothing could be clearer.
  4732. Whether it was now or twenty years from now, I would
  4733. still be the one dying. At that point, what would disturb
  4734. my train of thought was the terrifying leap I would feel
  4735. my heart take at the idea of having twenty more years of
  4736. life ahead of me. But I simply had to stifle it by im-
  4737. agining what I’d be thinking in twenty years when it
  4738. would all come down to the same thing anyway. Since
  4739. we’re all going to die, it’s obvious that when and
  4740. how don’t matter. Therefore (and the difficult thing
  4741. was not to lose sight of all the reasoning that went into
  4742. this “therefore”), I had to accept the rejection of my
  4743. appeal.
  4744.  
  4745. Then and only then would I have the right, so to
  4746. speak — would I give myself permission, as it were — to
  4747. consider the alternative hypothesis : I was pardoned. The
  4748. trouble was that I would somehow have to cool the hot
  4749. blood that would suddenly surge through my body and
  4750. sting my eyes with a delirious joy. It would take all my
  4751. strength to quiet my heart, to be rational. In order to
  4752.  
  4753. n 4
  4754.  
  4755.  
  4756.  
  4757.  
  4758. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4759.  
  4760.  
  4761.  
  4762. make my resignation to the first hypothesis more plau-
  4763. sible, I had to be level-headed about this one as well.
  4764. If I succeeded, I gained an hour of calm. That was
  4765. something anyway.
  4766.  
  4767. It was at one such moment that I once again refused
  4768. to see the chaplain. I was lying down, and I could tell
  4769. from the golden glow in the sky that evening was
  4770. coming on. I had just denied my appeal and I could
  4771. feel the steady pulse of my blood circulating inside me.
  4772. I didn’t need to see the chaplain. For the first time in
  4773. a long time I thought about Marie. The days had been
  4774. long since she’d stopped writing. That evening I thought
  4775. about it and told myself that maybe she had gotten
  4776. tired of being the girlfriend of a condemned man. It also
  4777. occurred to me that maybe she was sick, or dead. These
  4778. things happen. How was I to know, since apart from our
  4779. two bodies, now separated, there wasn’t anything to
  4780. keep us together or even to remind us of each other?
  4781. Anyway, after that, remembering Marie meant nothing
  4782. to me. I wasn’t interested in her dead. That seemed
  4783. perfectly normal to me, since I understood very well
  4784. that people would forget me when I was dead. They
  4785. wouldn’t have anything more to do with me. I wasn’t
  4786. even able to tell myself that it was hard to think those
  4787. things.
  4788.  
  4789. It was at that exact moment that the chaplain came
  4790. in. When I saw him I felt a little shudder go through me.
  4791. He noticed it and told me not to be afraid. I told him
  4792. that it wasn’t his usual time. He replied that it was just
  4793.  
  4794. JI 5
  4795.  
  4796.  
  4797.  
  4798.  
  4799. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4800.  
  4801.  
  4802.  
  4803. a friendly visit and had nothing to do with my appeal,
  4804. which he knew nothing about. He sat down on my bunk
  4805. and invited me to sit next to him. I refused. All the
  4806. same, there was something very gentle about him.
  4807.  
  4808. He sat there for a few seconds, leaning forward,
  4809. with his elbows on his knees, looking at his hands. They
  4810. were slender and sinewy and they reminded me of two
  4811. nimble animals. He slowly rubbed one against the other.
  4812. Then he sat there, leaning forward like that, for so long
  4813. that for an instant I seemed to forget he was there.
  4814.  
  4815. But suddenly he raised his head and looked straight
  4816. at me. “Why have you refused to see me?” he asked. I
  4817. said that I didn’t believe in God. He wanted to know if
  4818. I was sure and I said that I didn’t see any reason to ask
  4819. myself that question: it seemed unimportant. He then
  4820. leaned back against the wall, hands flat on his thighs.
  4821. Almost as if it wasn’t me he was talking to, he remarked
  4822. that sometimes we think we’re sure when in fact we’re
  4823. not. I didn’t say anything. He looked at me and asked,
  4824. “What do you think?” I said it was possible. In any
  4825. case, I may not have been sure about what really did
  4826. interest me, but I was absolutely sure about what didn’t.
  4827. And it just so happened that what he was talking about
  4828. didn’t interest me.
  4829.  
  4830. He looked away and without moving asked me if I
  4831. wasn’t talking that way out of extreme despair. I ex-
  4832. plained to him that I wasn’t desperate. I was just afraid,
  4833. which was only natural. “Then God can help you,” he
  4834. said. “Every man I have known in your position has
  4835.  
  4836.  
  4837.  
  4838. 1 1 6
  4839.  
  4840.  
  4841.  
  4842.  
  4843. 0 THE STRANGER O
  4844.  
  4845.  
  4846.  
  4847. turned to Him.” I acknowledged that that was their right.
  4848. It also meant that they must have had the time for it. As
  4849. for me, I didn’t want anybody’s help, and I just didn’t
  4850. have the time to interest myself in what didn’t interest
  4851. me.
  4852.  
  4853. At that point he threw up his hands in annoyance
  4854. but then sat forward and smoothed out the folds of his
  4855. cassock. When he had finished he started in again, ad-
  4856. dressing me as ‘‘my friend.” If he was talking to me this
  4857. way, it wasn’t because I was condemned to die; the way
  4858. he saw it, we were all condemned to die. But I interrupted
  4859. him by saying that it wasn’t the same thing and that be-
  4860. sides, it wouldn’t be a consolation anyway. ‘‘Certainly,”
  4861. he agreed. “But if you don’t die today, you’ll die to-
  4862. morrow, or the next day. And then the same question
  4863. will arise. How will you face that terrifying ordeal?” I
  4864. said I would face it exactly as I was facing it now.
  4865.  
  4866. At that he stood up and looked me straight in the
  4867. eye. It was a game I knew well. I played it a lot with
  4868. Emmanuel and Celeste and usually they were the ones
  4869. who looked away. The chaplain knew the game well
  4870. too, I could tell right away: his gaze never faltered.
  4871. And his voice didn’t falter, either, when he said, “Have
  4872. you no hope at all? And do you really live with the
  4873. thought that when you die, you die, and nothing re-
  4874. mains?” “Yes,” I said.
  4875.  
  4876. Then he lowered his head and sat back down. He
  4877. told me that he pitied me. He thought it was more than
  4878. a man could bear. I didn’t feel anything except that he
  4879.  
  4880.  
  4881.  
  4882. ii 7
  4883.  
  4884.  
  4885.  
  4886.  
  4887. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4888.  
  4889.  
  4890.  
  4891. was beginning to annoy me. Then I turned away and
  4892. went and stood under the skylight. I leaned my shoulder
  4893. against the wall. Without really following what he
  4894. was saying, I heard him start asking me questions
  4895. again. He was talking in an agitated, urgent voice. I
  4896. could see that he was genuinely upset, so I listened
  4897. more closely.
  4898.  
  4899. He was expressing his certainty that my appeal would
  4900. be granted, but I was carrying the burden of a sin from
  4901. which I had to free myself. According to him, human
  4902. justice was nothing and divine justice was everything. I
  4903. pointed out that it was the former that had condemned
  4904. me. His response was that it hadn’t washed away my sin
  4905. for all that. I told him I didn’t know what a sin was.
  4906. All they had told me was that I was guilty. I was
  4907. guilty, I was paying for it, and nothing more could be
  4908. asked of me. At that point he stood up again, and the
  4909. thought occurred to me that in such a narrow cell, if
  4910. he wanted to move around he didn’t have many options.
  4911. He could either sit down or stand up.
  4912.  
  4913. I was staring at the ground. He took a step toward me
  4914. and stopped, as if he didn’t dare come any closer. He
  4915. looked at the sky through the bars. “You’re wrong, my
  4916. son,” he said. “More could be asked of you. And it may
  4917. be asked.” “And what’s that?” “You could be asked to
  4918. see.” “See what?’
  4919.  
  4920. The priest gazed around my cell and answered in a
  4921. voice that sounded very weary to me. “Every stone here
  4922. sweats with suffering, I know that. I have never looked
  4923.  
  4924. r 1 8
  4925.  
  4926.  
  4927.  
  4928.  
  4929. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4930.  
  4931.  
  4932.  
  4933. at them without a feeling of anguish. But deep in my
  4934. heart I know that the most wretched among you have
  4935. seen a divine face emerge from their darkness. That is
  4936. the face you are asked to see.”
  4937.  
  4938. This perked me up a little. I said I had been looking
  4939. at the stones in these walls for months. There wasn’t
  4940. anything or anyone in the world I knew better. Maybe
  4941. at one time, way back, I had searched for a face in them.
  4942. But the face I was looking for was as bright as the sun
  4943. and the flame of desire — and it belonged to Marie. I had
  4944. searched for it in vain. Now it was all over. And in any
  4945. case, I’d never seen anything emerge from any sweat-
  4946. ing stones.
  4947.  
  4948. The chaplain looked at me with a kind of sadness. I
  4949. now had my back flat against the wall, and light was
  4950. streaming over my forehead. He muttered a few words
  4951. I didn’t catch and abruptly asked if he could embrace
  4952. me. “No,” I said. He turned and walked over to the wall
  4953. and slowly ran his hand over it. “Do you really love this
  4954. earth as much as all that?” he murmured. I didn’t
  4955. answer.
  4956.  
  4957. He stood there with his back to me for quite a long
  4958. time. His presence was grating and oppressive. I was
  4959. just about to tell him to go, to leave me alone, when all
  4960. of a sudden, turning toward me, he burst out, “No, I
  4961. refuse to believe you! I know that at one time or another
  4962. you’ve wished for another life.” I said of course I had,
  4963. but it didn’t mean any more than wishing to be rich,
  4964. to be able to swim faster, or to have a more nicely shaped
  4965.  
  4966.  
  4967.  
  4968. 119
  4969.  
  4970.  
  4971.  
  4972.  
  4973. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  4974.  
  4975.  
  4976.  
  4977. mouth. It was all the same. But he stopped me and
  4978. wanted to know how I pictured this other life. Then I
  4979. shouted at him, “One where I could remember this
  4980. life!” and that’s when I told him I’d had enough. He
  4981. wanted to talk to me about God again, but I went up
  4982. to him and made one last attempt to explain to him that
  4983. I had only a little time left and I didn’t want to waste
  4984. it on God. He tried to change the subject by asking
  4985. me why I was calling him “monsieur” and not “father.”
  4986. That got me mad, and I told him he wasn’t my father;
  4987. he wasn’t even on my side.
  4988.  
  4989. “Yes, my son,” he said, putting his hand on my
  4990. shoulder, “I am on your side. But you have no way of
  4991.  
  4992. knowing it, because your heart is blind. I shall pray for
  4993.  
  4994. >>
  4995.  
  4996. you.
  4997.  
  4998. Then, I don’t know why, but something inside me
  4999. snapped. I started yelling at the top of my lungs, and I
  5000. insulted him and told him not to waste his prayers on me.
  5001. I grabbed him by the collar of his cassock. I was pour-
  5002. ing out on him everything that was in my heart, cries of
  5003. anger and cries of joy. He seemed so certain about every-
  5004. thing, didn’t he? And yet none of his certainties was
  5005. worth one hair of a woman’s head. He wasn’t even sure
  5006. he was alive, because he was living like a dead man.
  5007. Whereas it looked as if I was the one who’d come
  5008. up emptyhanded. But I was sure about me, about
  5009. everything, surer than he could ever be, sure of my life
  5010. and sure of the death I had waiting for me. Yes, that
  5011. was all I had. But at least I had as much of a hold on
  5012.  
  5013.  
  5014.  
  5015. 120
  5016.  
  5017.  
  5018.  
  5019.  
  5020. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  5021.  
  5022.  
  5023.  
  5024. it as it had on me. I had been right, I was still right, I was
  5025. always right. I had lived my life one way and I could
  5026. just as well have lived it another. I had done this and I
  5027. hadn’t done that. I hadn’t done this thing but I had done
  5028. another. And so? It was as if I had waited all this time
  5029. for this moment and for the first light of this dawn to
  5030. be vindicated. Nothing, nothing mattered, and I knew
  5031. why. So did he. Throughout the whole absurd life I’d
  5032. lived, a dark wind had been rising toward me from
  5033. somewhere deep in my future, across years that were
  5034. still to come, and as it passed, this wind leveled whatever
  5035. was offered to me at the time, in years no more real than
  5036. the ones I was living. What did other people’s deaths
  5037. or a mother’s love matter to me; what did his God or the
  5038. lives people choose or the fate they think they elect
  5039. matter to me when we’re all elected by the same fate,
  5040. me and billions of privileged people like him who also
  5041. called themselves my brothers? Couldn’t he see, couldn’t
  5042. he see that? Everybody was privileged. There were only
  5043. privileged people. The others would all be condemned
  5044. one day. And he would be condemned, too. What would
  5045. it matter if he were accused of murder and then executed
  5046. because he didn’t cry at his mother’s funeral? Sala-
  5047. mano’s dog was worth just as much as his wife. The
  5048. little robot woman was just as guilty as the Parisian
  5049. woman Masson married, or as Marie, who had wanted
  5050. me to marry her. What did it matter that Raymond was
  5051. as much my friend as Celeste, who was worth a lot more
  5052. than him? What did it matter that Marie now offered
  5053.  
  5054.  
  5055.  
  5056. 121
  5057.  
  5058.  
  5059.  
  5060.  
  5061. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  5062.  
  5063.  
  5064.  
  5065. her lips to a new Meursault? Couldn’t he, couldn’t this
  5066. condemned man see . . . And that from somewhere deep
  5067. in my future . . . All the shouting had me gasping for
  5068. air. But they were already tearing the chaplain from my
  5069. grip and the guards were threatening me. He calmed
  5070. them, though, and looked at me for a moment without
  5071. saying anything. His eyes were full of tears. Then he
  5072. turned and disappeared.
  5073.  
  5074. With him gone, I was able to calm down again. I
  5075. was exhausted and threw myself on my bunk. I must
  5076. have fallen asleep, because I woke up with the stars in
  5077. my face. Sounds of the countryside were drifting in.
  5078. Smells of night, earth, and salt air were cooling my
  5079. temples. The wondrous peace of that sleeping summer
  5080. flowed through me like a tide. Then, in the dark hour
  5081. before dawn, sirens blasted. They were announcing
  5082. departures for a world that now and forever meant noth-
  5083. ing to me. For the first time in a long time I thought
  5084. about Maman. I felt as if I understood why at the end
  5085. of her life she had taken a “fiance,” why she had
  5086. played at beginning again. Even there, in that home
  5087. where lives were fading out, evening was a kind of wist-
  5088. ful respite. So close to death, Maman must have felt
  5089. free then and ready to live it all again. Nobody, nobody
  5090. had the right to cry over her. And I felt ready to live it
  5091. all again too. As if that blind rage had washed me clean,
  5092. rid me of hope; for the first time, in that night alive with
  5093. signs and stars, I opened myself to the gentle indifference
  5094. of the world. Finding it so much like myself — so like a
  5095.  
  5096.  
  5097.  
  5098. 122
  5099.  
  5100.  
  5101.  
  5102.  
  5103. 0 THE STRANGER 0
  5104.  
  5105.  
  5106.  
  5107. brother, really — I felt that I had been happy and that I
  5108. was happy again. For everything to be consummated, for
  5109. me to feel less alone, I had only to wish that there be a
  5110. large crowd of spectators the day of my execution and
  5111. that they greet me with cries of hate.
  5112.  
  5113.  
  5114.  
  5115. 123
  5116.  
  5117.  
  5118.  
  5119.  
  5120. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  5121.  
  5122.  
  5123.  
  5124. Albert Camus, son of a working-class family, was born
  5125. in Algeria in 1913. He spent the early years of his life
  5126. in North Africa, where he worked at various jobs — in
  5127. the weather bureau, in an automobile-accessory firm, in
  5128. a shipping company — to help pay for his courses at the
  5129. University of Algiers. He then turned to journalism as
  5130. a career. His report on the unhappy state of the
  5131. Muslims of the Kabylie region aroused the Algerian
  5132. government to action and brought him public notice.
  5133. From 1935 to 1938 he ran the Theatre de l’Equipe,
  5134. a theatrical company that produced plays by Malraux,
  5135. Gide, Synge, Dostoevski, and others. During World
  5136. War II he was one of the leading writers of the French
  5137. Resistance and editor of Combat, then an important
  5138. underground newspaper. Camus was always very ac-
  5139. tive in the theater, and several of his plays have
  5140. been published and produced. His fiction, including
  5141. The Stranger, The Plague, The Fall, and Exile and
  5142. the Kingdom-, his philosophical essays, The Myth of
  5143. Sisyphus and The Rebel; and his plays have assured
  5144. his preeminent position in modem French letters. In
  5145. 1957 Camus was awarded the Nobel Prize for Litera-
  5146. ture. His sudden death on January 4, 1 960, cut short
  5147. the career of one of the most important literary figures
  5148. of the Western world when he was at the very summit
  5149. of his powers.
  5150.  
  5151.  
  5152.  
  5153.  
  5154. ABOUT THE TRANSLATOR
  5155.  
  5156.  
  5157.  
  5158. Matthew Ward is a poet, critic, and translator. His
  5159. translations include works by Colette, Barthes, Picasso,
  5160. Sartre, and others. He was educated at Stanford, Uni-
  5161. versity College in Dublin (where he was a Fulbright
  5162. Scholar), and Columbia. He taught for several years at
  5163. the Fieldston School in Riverdale, New York. Matthew
  5164. Ward was born in Colorado and now lives in Man-
  5165. hattan.
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