Soarin's Silver Lining, distant epilogue (complete)

>You are Soarin and you are excited for your little girl.
>Well, she's excited enough for the both of you, but you can't help but share the feeling.
>She's meeting a new friend today.
>That hasn't exactly been easy for her.
>"Are we there yet!?"
"Almost."
>"Awwwwwww..."
>You glance into your rearview mirror.
>Yep, she's pouting.
>Little cheeks puffed out and everything.
>But she's also kicking her legs out excitedly.
"Just a few more minutes, Lining."
>You're not just saying it to keep her quiet; it's true.
>You can see the park from here.
>Lining could too if she wasn't so short.
>For a six year old, she's tiny.
>Still your tiniest little princess.
>That's one thing she didn't inherit from you - yet.
>You've still got hope she'll catch up to her classmates and her friends.
>The few she has, anyway.
>You guide your car into the parking lot and... wow, it's busy today.
>Good.
>Maybe she'll meet some other kids, too.
>Then again...
>Maybe you should have brought along Auntie Di.
>She can be overprotective at times - all the times - but...
>It's not as if you and Sil can ever stop yourselves from worrying.
>You wouldn't mind an extra pair of eyes to watch over Lining.
>Too many people.
>Briefly you wonder if other parents go through this too, if they have the same fears you do.
>As intense as you?
>You hope not.
>That fear is why your poor daughter only has a few friends.
>You and Sil - and Diamond - trying to protect her all the time...
>Every parent has to know those kinds of people are out there, but that's... different.
>They don't know it first hand - you hope.
> There are too many people here.
>You should go.
>There's no parking.
>You've got his number... you could call... cancel...
>Maybe ask to meet up at the ice cream shop across the street.
>It's still there, after so many years.
>That wouldn't be...
>She needs a chance to make friends and there's a spot right here.
>You laugh silently - at yourself - and pull into the space.
>For not the first time, you wonder if this is what Silver's train of thought must be like on her bad days.
>A constant stream of worries and fears.
>Only... you and she both know too well these particular kinds of fears are justified.
>To an extent.
>You're not going to let it ruin your daughter's life, no matter how much you want to keep her locked up safe forever.
>Besides... she'll be with a friend.
>So will you. You trust him to help keep an eye on Lining.
>As well as you *can* trust a guy you barely knew back in high school.
"Ready to meet your new friend?"
>"Yeah!"
>You do *not* miss having to haul around a carseat; Lining doesn't need any help getting out of her booster, though...
>Maybe it's because you were taller, maybe it's because your mom never really loved you and always wanted a daughter, but you're pretty sure you never used one of these when you were a kid.
>You're looking forward to the day when she doesn't need it either.
>Also dreading that day, because it'll be harder to pick her up and spin her around like you do now as you help her out of the car.
"Okay, Lining! All ready?"
>"Mhm!"
>You set her down and -
"Wait, hold on."
>- have to grab for her hand before she can sprint off.
>"Buuuuuuuuut -" she whines and points to the playground just off the parking lot.
>It's covered with kids scurrying about like a kicked over anthill.
"You can't go running off without me, Lining, you know this."
>She puffs out her cheeks again - and nods.
"Okay, let's go."
>Thankfully, you aren't the only dad here. That always feels weird.
>But no, there are at least three other guys with their kids.
>You hope with their kids.
>No one gives you a weird look as you walk your daughter up to the playground, or even gives you so much as a second glance - except him.
>You wave and he waves back.
>So does the little girl at his side.
>For all her earlier eagerness, you have to give Lining a little nudge with your leg before he raises her hand.
>You let him take care of the introductions, give Lining a pat on the head, and let the two run off to the slides hand-in-hand.
"So..."
>"There's an empty bench over there," he suggests.
"Cool."
>Possibly the only one.
>Most parents seem content to stand, but there's a lot of them around and ever other bench you see is occupied.
>Understandable.
>This is the first sunny weekend in a while, and while Silver is content to keep Lining inside with her books 24/7 you disagree.
>The girl needs more friends and this is the first chance you've had to bring her out.
>You take a seat alongside him.
>This could - you hope - be a while.
"I was surprised when Silver told me she'd run into your wife at the mall last week and set up this play date. I thought you'd moved away."
>"I heard the same about you."
"Well, we had, for a bit, but just while we were at college. But *you* have your career and -"
>"Yeah," he nods, "but this place is home."
>You nod back.
"I get that. We thought about staying there while Sil went for her masters, but she didn't want to wait, you know?"
>He raises an eyebrow.
>Huh.
>Emotion you can read.
>Apparently he's grown.
"I guess, not... um... Sil wanted to be a mom more than didn't want to drive two hours every day and...
"Okay, that doesn't make any sense... um..."
>"I *think* I get it."
"I wanted our families to help out raising Lining, so we moved back."
>"I get it."
"Sure, Sil could have hired a nanny or something, but I don't trust my daughter with a stranger, you know?"
>"You seemed okay with her running off with mine," he laughs.
"That's different. They're both kids - and I'm watching them."
>It's her third trip down the slide - *ahead* of the other girl this time.
>You're glad you didn't let her wear her favorite skirt.
>He smirks and shakes his head.
>"Anyone ever tell you you're overprotective?"
"You haven't seen overprotective until you've seen Auntie Di."
>"Oh?" he chuckles, then sighs. "Oh, she really *is* her aunt, isn't she?"
"Everyone who went to school with them knows how close Diamond and Silver are. Even if she wasn't *legally* Lining's aunt, she still would be."
>You laugh and let your head fall, look away from your daughter for just a second.
"Di's one of the big reasons we moved back."
>"So she could be near?"
"No, she'd probably follow Sil and me wherever we went, but she made some good arguments."
>"What?"
"Sil and I like to think we're good parents -"
>The best you can be, anyway.
"- but there's no one better than Mom."
>That's exactly how Di says it too: Mom.
>Capital and everything.
>You can hear it when she says it, the difference between your mother and the generic use of the word.
>"Well, I don't know her..." he says politely, "but she did raise you, so..."
"Yeah, that's definitely a mark against her -"
>And he laughs politely.
"- but mom also helped Di. A lot. And she's been great with Lining, whenever Sil was busy with school and I had to work."
>He nods in understanding.
>"I get that. We've had to lean on our families too. Mostly hers. I didn't think things would be so busy..."
>He sighs and stares off into the distance.
>"So, what is it you do now?"
"Sil's finishing up her masters - last year - but... I mean, she wanted me to do the same and has been pushing me to go back, but..."
>"Not for you?"
>You shrug.
"Still a dumb jock. Got the bachelors, but after that, I was ready to go out and work."
>"Not professional soccer player, I'm guessing?"
"I was never that good. Good enough, I mean, but not *that* good. Not good enough to make a real career of it without giving something up and I wasn't going to do that.
"Figured I shouldn't even try. Besides, keep it fun, you know? Let it just be my hobby.
"Sil and I still play, local league stuff, but no, I work for a sporting goods manufacturer.
"Sil wanted me to work for one of her family's companies, but... I don't mind relying on family, but not like that.
"So her father had some contacts and was able to make some introductions and that all worked out.
"What about you? Still going with the singing?"
>"I think you might have the right idea," he answers noncommittaly. "Keep it fun."
>He shrugs.
>"Right now I'm trying to spend as much time at home as I can. We've got enough saved up, but... well, you're in the same situation, right?
>"I love my daughter to death, but sometimes you still need to get out."
>You nod.
"At one point, about three months into her pregnancy, Silver tried to talk me into being a stay at home dad, but I don't think she really meant it."
>She was scared. Terrified.
>Just like that little girl, begging you outside the school all over again.
"I couldn't."
>She didn't trust herself to be a good mother.
"I *want* to but I also know it'd drive me crazy."
>You had to let her prove herself wrong.
>She didn't smother Lining in her sleep.
>Didn't even have one of her bad days, not until Lining was two.
>Those two years were the happiest you'd ever seen her.
>But that wasn't her worry - it was yours.
>Hers was... more statistically based.
>What was done to Diamond, Diamond did to her. And what was done to her... statistically...
>... well...
>She hadn't let it bother her, hadn't even blamed Di.
>Not until then, not until she worried that... *statistically*...
>You were never worried about that.
>She shouldn't have been either.
"Sil put her masters on hold and stayed with Lining the first few years."
>She had to prove to herself she was a good mother.
>But eventually she needed a break, too.
"I think how we're doing it now is best. We drop Lining off at school every morning, either me on my way to work or Sil on the way to school, and my mom picks her up in the afternoons.
"She gets to spend a few hours every day with grandma until I get off work and then She spends the evenings with Sil and me.
"I mean, it's not the ideal situation..."
>"Close enough."
"... but... yeah. I can't think of anything more realistic."
>He nods.
>"Ever think about having another?"
>You chuckle.
"Maybe."
>"Your daughter seems pretty quiet and well behaved. She can't be too much of a handful on her own."
"True, but Sil wants to wait before we even have that conversation. Once she's out of school, we'll decide.
"And... you know... it's not just us. We've got to think about Lining and what that'd do to her.
"Neither of us really know what that's like. Sil and I are both only kids - kind of, I mean. Di - and I know this sounds bad - but Di doesn't really count, you know?"
>He laughs quietly and nods.
"What about you? Your wife has an older sister, so...?"
>You don't really know where you were going with that.
>Subtly asking for his opinion, maybe?
>"We're considering it."
>From what you heard, she was a little crazy.
>What if it runs in the family?
>What if his little girl put someone in the hospital over her younger sister?
>What if yours couldn't understand why you were suddenly splitting your attention?
>How would she react?
>You can imagine how Silver might have.
"Yeah... it's not an easy choice. Some of my coworkers are on their third al-"
>You stop suddenly and half-rise, but Lining jumps up from the ground and runs after her new friend, no worse for the tumble she just had.
>"She okay? Need to go chase her down?"
"Nah, she's a tough girl."
>Never complains, even when she should, but this time there's no sign she hurt herself.
>You'll check her over later.
>You sigh and... right.
"Yeah, so some of my coworkers are on their third kid already and they're younger than me, believe it or not! I don't know how they do it, just one right after the other."
>"That might make it easier, I guess," he suggests. "They still have the crib set up from the first kid and just..."
>He does this weird little hand gesture, but you get what he means.
"I guess, but... I wouldn't say I think they're bad parents, but I don't know if..."
>You shrug and smile and laugh and shake your head.
"I'm overthinking it. Habit I picked up from Silver."
>"Not necessarily a bad thing, though. Having kids is something that you *should* overthink."
"To a point, but I'm thinking my coworkers are crazy for having three kids in the space of three or four years and at the same time I'm scared that Silver and I have waited too long to have another.
"I'm worried there'll be too much of an age difference between Lining and a new child, but at the same time I think that's better because Lining is old enough now to have an opinion and it honestly will affect her more than either Silver or me.
"I think, anyway. I don't know. And anyway she's still too young to *really* understand. She might think it'd be great to be an older sister but once the baby comes she'll hate it."
>"Okay, maybe you are overthinking it a little," he smirks.
"Yeah, probably. I didn't use to do this, you know? I just... did things. I didn't *think* about them.
"Like I said, it's something I picked up from Silver."
>The inside of her head is a busy place.
>He nods along politely for a minute.
>The conversation falls into a casual lull; you're content enough to watch Lining play with her new friend.
>"So, what's Diamond up to these days?" he eventually asks.
>That's a good question.
"Not much."
>"Really? I thought she would become a children's rights advocate or something like that. You know, because..."
>He gives a half-hearted shrug, because it's obvious and it's just as obvious why he doesn't want to say it.
>You shake your head.
"I kind of thought so too. Mom as well. I kind of think she expected Di to work for the Social Welfare Agency if nothing else, but..."
>You give a half-assed shrug of your own.
"I don't mean she doesn't do anything - she donates a good deal to charities for that kind of stuff. Well, *she* doesn't - not *her* money - but she makes her father. But that's all she does."
>"That's surprising."
"Yeah, but when I stop and think about it... it kind of makes sense, you know?"
>He raises an eyebrow.
>Oh.
"Okay, that sounded bad. Not like that. I don't mean she doesn't *care* about anyone else or anything.
"What I mean is I think she tries not to let any of that stuff affect her. At all. She's not pretending it didn't happen, but she's not letting her mom control her life anymore."
>"I would have assumed that stopped when she was arrested."
>You shake your head.
"Remember right after? How the people at school treated her?"
>He grimaces and nods.
>"Yeah."
"Yeah. What happened - and the fact that it became so *public* - have followed her for years. It wasn't until she moved off to college that she was able to let go because she wasn't being reminded of it every day.
"Even people offering their condolences or trying to help were *another* reminder. If she went into that, if she started advocating or holding fundraisers...
"... it'd mean that was still letting it controlling her life. She wants to be her own person."
>"I guess I understand that," he concedes.
"And..."
>"What?"
>You shake your head.
>Diamond knows what happened to her, but she doesn't *really* know.
>She was too young to remember what Soothing did, too drugged to remember the rest.
>You're pretty sure she doesn't *want* to know - or what these kinds of people are doing to other kids.
>And you're also sure she wouldn't be happy if you were blabbing about it to others.
"Nothing important."
>He hesitates, but nods.
>"So basically she's doing the whole rich girl thing right now."
"Basically."
>He shrugs apologetically - you don't know why.
>"I guess some people just take longer to find themselves."
>There's a shriek from the playground and you look away from him - oh, it's only Lining screaming as she goes down the slide.
>Almost had a heart attack.
>"They're just having fun," he laughs.
"Yeah. Still -"
>"Are you sure Diamond is the overprotective one?"
"*Yes*."
>"Dang, that's..."
"Scary?"
>"I was going to say impressive, but scary works too. If you're like this and she's worse, I hate to imagine what she'd be like once she's had kids of her own."
"I don't know if she will. Not that she's totally sworn them off or anything, but it's not like she's involved with anyone right now. Or ever. I can count on one hand the number of people she's dated since she became part of the family."
>"Maybe she didn't want her scary big brother to know," he teases. "Besides, she could always adopt. That's another rich girl thing, isn't it?"
"Maybe."
>You can't really see her doing that, but it's not impossible.
>For someone so self-centered, she sure does spend a lot of time with Lining.
>Never alone, though, not if she can help it.
>You don't know why and you don't want to know because you're pretty sure you *do* know.
>She had to learn to trust others again before she could learn to trust herself. It takes time.
"I bet she'd be a pretty good mother. Well, she'd be *horrible* at it, but -"
>Honestly, she's taken Lining out of school so many times for shopping trips or fancy lunches!
>She's only six!
"- she'd love the kid, I know that, and she'd spoil them rotten."
>The first little tantrum Lining threw when you wouldn't let her have ice cream for breakfast caught you by surprise.
>The memory makes you smile.
>She *does* love her ice cream. Vanilla. And honestly so, not like her mother who only pretends she hates chocolate because she got used to a certain someone stealing hers away every time.
>Still.
>Last Friday, actually.
>You're still smiling at the memory when you hear your daughter yell.
>Your head jerks up as she comes screaming towards you yelling "DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!" over and over - and slams into your legs with enough force to wrap her arms around them.
>Her friend stops just short.
>"DADDY!"
>You laugh and brush her hair out of her face.
"Yes?"
>"WE WANT ICE CREAM!"
>You look to your companion - he smiles and nods.
>"Want to go or should I?"
>You unwrap Lining's arms from your legs and take her by the hand.
"It's right across the street. Let's all go."