Katawa Quest (KSG Meets /tg/, from thread 1000)

Alright. You are Dick S. Lee, and you

really like jacking off. You've made it

into something of an art. Sadly, you've

recently been diagnosed with pretty

severe diabetes. Your public school

cafeteria isn't adequate, so you were

transferred to a special school.

Yamaku.

Arriving in the early Spring, you walk

onto the peaceful school grounds. Place

seems cool enough. You were supposed to

go meet up with someone inside.

What do you do?

>POCKET CHECK

Wallet with IDs and $25 cash.

Small bottle of hand lotion.

Small package of tissues.

3 condoms.

Folded up diet guide for diabetics.

>go meet up this someone.


Roll: 90

You find the central school building

fairly easily and walk inside. Upon

entering, you see a kind of haggard

looking man standing around. As you

approach he straightens up slightly and

introduces himself as Mutou, your home

room teacher. He welcomes you to the

school, mentioning off-hand that you're

his second new student this week.

He asks if you're ready to head to

class.

Response?

>Ask if you could go to the bathroom

real quick, to scout for anyone.

Roll: 94

You quickly make up some story about

forgetting to use the bathroom that

morning, and that you'd rather go now

than having to ask for directions

during class.

Mutou agrees, and notes your

responsibility with a small smile. He

leads you to the bathroom, but tells

you not to take too long; after all, he

has a class to get back to.

You are now in the first floor Yamaku

men's bathroom. It's cleaner than most

public bathrooms, and has a few strange

looking stalls, probably for people

with different disabilities.

What do you do?

>Quick Masturbation

Roll: 05

A new day, a new school, a new place to

masturbate. Exciting. You slink into a

stall and grab your dick, giving it a

few quick strokes.

To your dismay, nothing seems to

happen. That's odd. That's never

happened before. You try harder,

putting a bit more force into it.

As you grunt and chafe (fuck, forgot

the lotion), a voice from the adjacent

stall asks if you're okay, clearly

worried that you're having some kind of

attack.

What do you do?

>Make an excuse about rotary girders.

Roll: 1

You fumble with your pants as you spit

out an excuse about rotary girders.

Wait, rotary girders? What the fuck

does that even mean?

There's silence in the next stall for a

moment, before the occupant quickly

finishes up and rushes out of the

bathroom. You hear him talking to Mutou

in the hall.

What do you do?

>Stand on a toilet, close the stall

door, pretend the bathroom is empty.


Roll: 7

You hop onto the seat just as the door

opens. There's pin-drop silence as

Mutou slowly examines the bathroom.

"Mr. Lee?"

There is an obvious twinge of anger in

his voice.

"There's only one entrance to this

bathroom, and I've been standing in

front of it for the last 5 minutes.

Just what do you think you're doing

here?"

Response?

>Give up, quietly step down from the

toilet, flush to make it seems

realistic, apologize, go to class.

The fun will start in the classroom.

Roll: 5

You step out of the stall with a flush,

uttering a quick apology. He waits for

a moment, probably hoping for a better

explanation, but you can't meet his

eyes.

With a heavy sigh he leads you out of

the bathroom (past a guy with a fake

leg who is watching you with some

confusion) and towards your class.

He strides into the room and tells you

to sit down. The class stares at you,

looking shocked about their teacher's

obvious annoyance. However, a trio in

the front row doesn't seem to be paying

attention, with two girls making hand

signs, one of them talking loudly to a

guy trying his best to ignore them.

What do you do?

>Take a seat, drawing as little

attention as possible.

Roll: 5

You slide into a seat without further

comment, and the Mutou goes back to his

lesson.

However, where do you sit?

>Next to Hanako

Roll: 2

You find a seat in the back of the

class, next to a girl with long hair.

As you sit down, you throw your wait

too heavily into your chair, sliding

awkwardly close to the girl.

Her head whips around and she stares at

with a look of sheer terror, tears

beginning to well up in her eyes. She

immediately stands up and rushes out of

class. Mutou sees this, and shoots you

a terrifying look before resuming his

lecture. A few students are giving you

dirty looks.

What do you do?

>"Nice scars!"

Roll: 2

In an effort to lighten the mood, you

try yelling a compliment after her.

"Nice scars!" You yell, hearing a wail

from the hallway in response.

Now the entire class is looking at you

in horror. Even Mutou's former anger

has been replaced entirely with shock.

What do you do?

>Resume masturbation/

Roll: Who even cares anymore

As the class stares at you, you slowly,

slowly begin sliding your hand towards

your crotch.

As they watch, you open your fly with

an obviously practiced hand, before

reaching in and giving your dick a few

strokes. A girl begins to cry.

The boy in the front row who you say

earlier stands up and starts marching

towards you, rage in his eyes.

What do you do?

>Throw cum in his face

Roll: 9

Throw? You're mutherfucking Dick S.

Lee! With a practiced hand, you send a

shot of semen straight into the guys

left eye, causing him to scream and

trip into a few of your other

classmates.

The class goes crazy. People are

screaming and crying, throwing all

kinds of terrible insults at you. You

sit back and resume masturbation,

before noticing something out of the

corner of your eye.

Mutou, charging at you across the tops

of the desks. His eyes reveal only

hate. Only the urge to kill.

What do you do?

>Give him the dick.

Roll: 6

Answering the challenge, you leap onto

your desk, holding your penis like a

lance. You charge towards him, singing

a battle hymn you learned in church.

As you meet, he swings his surprisingly

long arm out and decks you in the jaw.

You tumble down onto the floor, but

manage to land on your feet. Mutou's

coming, but you also notice a girl with

drills for hair trying to flank you.

What do you do?

>Give her the chocolate

Roll: 6

Lacking any readily available

chocolate, you whip your pack of

tissues at her. It bounces harmlessly

off of her sturdy frame. Mutou hops

down from the desks and is almost

within arms reach of you. Drill girl

looks to be readying a shoulder charge.

What do you do?

>WINDOW OUT


Roll: AUTO CRIT

Weaving past Mutou, you leap over some

desks before catapulting yourself out a

window. You take the crash like an

expert, resulting in only a few small

scratches. You do some acrobatic

maneuvers through the branches of a

nearby tree, landing safely on the

ground.

Instinctively you reach behind your

head, grabbing a pencil case thrown

from the window.

You're on the grounds, around the side

of the main building.

What do you do?

>Run back into the building, into 3-2

Roll: 8

You dash back to the entrance of the

school, running up the same route Mutou

lead you just moments ago. He'll never

expect that. You err on the side of

caution, though, and duck into an

adjacent classroom.

The students and teacher look up at you

as you walk in, but you've managed to

cover up your scratches and none of

them seem to be aware of the nearby

commotion.

The teacher asks if she can help you.

What do you do?

>Jump out window

Roll: 7

Not having an immediate response to the

teacher's question, you decide to go

with what you know works.

Running through the class, you smash

through yet another window. You take

the crash as well as before, but

there's no nearby tree this time, so

the fall is a lot worse. You manage to

land on your feet, but feel a shock of

pain in your ankle.

You're back on the grounds.

What do you do?

>Go to the student council classroom.

Roll: 2

Alright, enough messing with the

commoners. Time to find out who's in

charge of this messed up school.

You head back inside, searching for

something to point you towards the

student council's base of operations.

Eventually you think you know where

you're going, and make your way

to...the art room?

Crap.

This isn't right. The only thing around

here is a girl sleeping on a desk near

the window.

What do you do?

>pull down her pants and suck her dick


Roll: 5

You pull down her pants and...hey, this

isn't a dick. That's right, girls don't

have dicks. The poor things.

The girl wakes up and sees you staring

at her naked crotch. Her eyes widen in

fear. You have only a second before she

does something.

What do you do?

>Tell her the dancing stones are

restless.

Roll: CRIT

You look her straight in the eye.

Somehow, your gaze holds her, and the

look lasts for a moment before you

deliver your message.

"The Dancing Stones are restless." You

say, barely above a whisper. Her fear

turns to shock, and then to wonder. She

sits up and stares at you a bit longer,

before finally saying:

"Right. We need to go then. Take me to

them."

A look of determination has filled her

face.

What do you do?

>Go back to Mutou's classroom.

Roll: 6

Pausing to help the girl with her pants

(you notice too late that she has no

arms), you lead her back to Mutou's

class. Back to where it all began. It's

time.

You stride in through the class, the

armless girl following closely behind

you. The class is still largely in

disarray, but both teacher and students

have left. The room stands empty.

What do you do?

>bury your face in her ass and wait for

her to fart

Roll: 9

You spin the girl around and attempt to

fulfill a fetish you read about on the

internet. Sadly, she lacks the meat

required for a proper burial, but it's

the thought that counts. She tries to

squirm away, but your strong fapping

arms hold her in place.

She begins to scream. Loudly.

What do you do?

>Cut her pussy open with your

switchblade.Then bolt down the hallway


Roll: 3

It takes you three "cuts" to realize

that your switchblade is actually a

bottle of hand lotion that's having

little effect.

You cut your losses and run for it, but

as soon as you're out the door you feel

the girl's foot slam into your spine,

sending you crashing into the wall and

then floor.

Dazed, you look up and see her

advancing on you with murder in her

eyes. You hear voices from further down

the hall and a torrent of footsteps

getting closer.

What do you do?

>BARREL ROLL

Roll: 3

You clumsily roll to the wall, and then

just keep rolling into it. This is your

special technique.

The armless girl stops advancing and

watches you, but you just keep rolling.

Mutou arrives with several other

faculty members and what appear to be

several security guards, but you just

keep rolling.

One of the teachers, a kind of fat

looking guy, rushes over to help the

armless girl.

A female teacher can't look at you, and

turns away sobbing.

The rest just stare.

What do you do?

>PRAISE DEAR READER KIM JUNG UN

Roll: 9

You suddenly bolt upright. Everyone

backs away a step, and Mutou starts to

calmly say something.

But you cut him off. All eyes are on

you. This is what you've been waiting

for.

You launch into an impassioned speech,

no, a sermon, on the many virtues of

Kim Jung Un. Your emphatic voice

resounds down the hall, a small crowd

of curious students gathers. By the end

of your 15 minute sermon, not a single

person in the crowd has dry eyes. You

were beautiful. They are wholly

convinced.

However, Mutou, choking his words

through the tears, says you'll need to

come with him and the security guards

for a moment.

What do you do?

>Resume masturbation.


Roll: 2

You look calmly at Mutou, before slowly

reaching into your pants and pulling

out your dick. As the crowd of about 40

watches in wonder, you start to

masturbate.

But it's no good. You're still filled

with your love for your glorious

leader. There is no lust there, just

pure, unbridled love. To masturbate

while thinking of him would be

perverse.

You remain flaccid.

Mutou grabs your arm, quietly saying,

"That's enough." and pulling you away.

>Fall into Diabetic Coma.

Roll: 4

You half-yell ,"Oh no, my diabetes is

acting up!" and go limp.

Mutou notes that you're obviously

lying, but you're pretty sure he's

bluffing because nobody could see

through this act. The security guards

pick you up and start carrying you down

the hallway.

The crowd looks on, amazed.

What do you do?

>Suck his dick

Roll: 3

Suddenly consumed by homolust, you

abandon your clever charade and lunge

headfirst into one of the guards'

dicks. Taken by surprise, he has little

time to dodge, and is soon on the floor

holding his crotch in pain.

You attempt to seductively crawl over

and unzip his fly, but the other guard

grabs you and pins your arms behind

your back. Mutou attempts to help the

first guard to his feet.

What do you do?

>Confess your love to mutou..

Roll: 3

As you are being hauled away, you start

screaming:

"Mutou! Mutouuuuuuuuuuuu!"

He looks over at you, visibly shaken by

this entire incident. Breathing heavily

and shaking, you begin to half sob,

half speak:

"Mutou. From the moment I laid eyes on

you, I knew you were the one. I knew

you were the girl for me. We were meant

for each other, you and I. I want

nothing more than to protect you, to

shield you from all the problems you

must face in life. Mutou." your voice

drops to a sultry whisper "become one

with me."

Mutou looks into your eyes a moment,

just a moment, before he buries his

face in his hands, turns, and runs down

the hall. In a few seconds he's gone.

Better to have loved and lost, you

suppose.

The security guard holding you

continues to push you down the hall.

What do you do?

>run to find Kenji. Ask him for

protection against the feminists armies

Roll: 1

You suddenly realize that you need to

get out of here. With a swing of your

mighty fapping arms, you break free

from the guard's hold and book it down

the hallway.

What you need is an ally. Someone

who'll understand you. The one sane man

in an insane world.

Better check the library.

You bust into and see a woman behind

the counter, who turns to you with a

gasp.

What do you do?

>Kiss her.

Roll: 2

Her. She's the one. Your one ally. You

need to show her. She has to

understand.

You make a running dive for her across

the desk, but she dodges out of your

way and you crash into a shelf. Books

tumble down everywhere.

The girl runs out of the library,

yelling, "Nooooooooooooooooo! Just like

my ex-boyfriend!"

She's gone before you can get back up.

You hear the security guards

approaching down the hall.

You also hear someone moving around

deeper in the library.

What do you do?

>burn the library to the ground.

Roll: 4

Damn, this day just hasn't been going

your way. Almost as bad as your first

day at your last school. Luckily,

you've always got an exit strategy.

It was so easy. Just one small change

on the police report, and instead of

the school for delinquents, you're

going to a school for cripples. You

almost couldn't believe when the idiots

bought your story about being diabetic.

Fools. But now you'll show them. You'll

show all of them.

You grab a nearby lamp and hurl it into

a nearby pile of books. Nothing. Damn.

Searching the library for something

better, you notice the scarred girl

from earlier. Heh. Burn scars. Almost

poetic.

She runs off, but you have bigger

plans. Plans that look like they're

about to succeed, as you've just found

a fireplace. But before you can finish

making a makeshift torch, and childish

voice calls out from behind you.

"Halt, evil-doer!"

In walks a small girl with no legs. The

last obstacle in your way.

BOSS BATTLE

Action?

>Squawk like an imbecile and shit

yourself

Attack Roll: 7

You open it up with a favoured

strategy, the Battle Squawk. You let

out a terrible screeching yell, causing

the legless girl to cover her ears in

pain. To add to the psychological

warfare, you release a load into your

pants. The small dexterity penalty

won't matter when compared to the

effects of the blinding stench.

Your opponent is distracted. An

opening!

Action?

>tell them you can die happy knowing

the thread reached 2000.>>24551719

Roll: 9

You grab up a fireplace poker and lunge

at the girl. This will end it. Death to

the cripple. You swing the poker like a

demon, straight at her tiny head.

But it stops. Not on adorable head, but

on a hand. A man stands beside the

girl, having effortlessly stopped your

ultimate attack with one hand.

"Who- who are you!?" you gasp out.

The man pulls the poker out of your

hand and hurls it across the room,

before dashing across the room and

slamming his fist into your face.

"I prefer to remain anonymous." he

states calmly, before delivering an

equally mighty blow to your left

kidney. As he speaks, he punctuates his

words with more and more hits.

"You come into my school. You wreck my

classrooms. You disrespect my teachers.

This, I could forgive."

He grabs your collar and pulls you up

to his eye level. You can't see

straight. You can tastes blood. He

pulls back his fist.

"But nobody harasses MY waifu."

And you go sailing back through the

air, your brain just conscious enough

to feel the landing in the fireplace,

you hear the man say one final thing.

"Die happy. We reached 2000."

GOOD END