Re-writing police-kun and manticore

let's re-write police-kun and manticore to be realistic.

>wake up drowsily form your dreamless sleep
>Actually something woke you up
>it’s the most peculiar sound, like metal scraping against metal
>almost sort of a snipping sound
>you rub one eye open and investigate the source of the sound
>you see a huge figure loom over you, and for some reason it was holding a giant pair of hedge cutters in its paws
>It had a sadistic smile, its eyes wild with cruelty as it hovered the massive clippers just above your exposed dick
>let out the most grisliest scream mankind has ever known and catapult yourself off from the couch, pulling your pants up and scrambling backwards, partially out of disbelief and partially out of shock.
>The manticore scoffs at you, standing up as it rested the hedge cutters on its shoulder
>”Well at least you didnt wet yourself” she said laughing to herself as she tossed the cutters into the air, the bladed end landing some few inches away from your precious family jewels
>”So they sent another one of you spineless cowards then. That makes it the third this week?” she said pacing around the room, her tail stroking beneath her chin as if she was deep in thought.
>That tail almost seemed to have a mind of its own as it writhed
>”I don’t expect you to last the day, but while you’re here, there are some rules.” Her tail quickly darts forth, picks you up by the shirt collar and hoisting you up to eye level before her
>”Number one, I am the master of this house and you will learn your place here as such. Two, anything I command is law and you will obey it. Three, I’m hungry and lunch was to be made twenty minutes ago.”
>You suddenly feel yourself be thrown several feet, sliding across the floor until your find yourself staring up at a stove.
>Its only now do you recognize the GPS ankle bracelet she’s forced to wear
>"I like my steaks rare, cook it any further and I'll gut yooo-" is about as far as she gets before a solid punch lands in her smug face.
>apparently she had forgotten you were a police officer.
>she staggers back from the first blow, her nose bleeding oceans
>she looks up in shock as another lands in her gut, knocking the wind from her
> she collapses to the floor, sucking air and writing on the ground, her eyes are just about popped out of their sockets.
>you roll her over and hand cuff her legs, hands, wings and tail while she's still writing around in pain
>"you are under arrest for the attempted mutilation of a police officer and acting above the law. Anything you say can and will be used against you in court. you have the right to have an attorney present before and during the questioning and if you lack the funds to appoint an attorney you will have one appointed to you".
>you add, venom dripping from your words "And if you attempt to avoid arrest further, I have a handgun and taser at ready."
>you shoot her an evil look as she continues to twitch and bleed.
>she is arrested and temporarily jailed.
>some time later she is convicted of assault in the first degree, theft, assaulting an officer and breaking the house arrest agreement and jailed again, this time for over a decade, and issued a felony charge.
>fucking shitty manticores, why did we let them into this country?