BORIS

The Rustboyz cheered as the gut buster's enormous projectile ripped through the Hellstorm Cannon of the puny humie Titan. The warm glow of the resulting explosion fell across the Scrapkrusha's huge ork Kaptin.

"Yuh, yuh! Looks like we got it, boyz! Now let's blast it with da soopagunz!" Kaptin Krumble shouted down his speaking tube. "You gits wanna dig through the scraps an' find some real flash, duncha!?"

Krumble grinned at the hoopin' and hollerin' of his krew and burst out laughing as he heard the thundering 'dakka' of the soopaguns. The boys had gotten a little excited and began firing before the guns were even locked on to the enemy. Half of the massive shells riddled the forest with craters, the other half ripped through the enemy Titan's torso.

The Scrapkrusha shook violently as the rival Titan unleashed a retaliatory volley from it's own dakka array. Screams of dismay and panic filtered up through the shouting tubes.

"Kaptin! We got 'is big killy blasta, but 'e's still got all that dread shooty dakka!", called first mate Deffgut, "'E's got a lot of it, too!"

The Kaptin took a deep drag of his cigar, and thought for a moment. He listened to the hundreds of screaming gretchin trying to make repairs and put out fires below, in the belly of the great Scrapkrusha. Finally exhaling the smoke, he walked up to his viewing window and peered across at the gigantic metal human. The rival machines were letting out a loose bullet or two in the lull, but without coordination the great payloads either missed entirely or only grazed their target.

"We can't let this great git win, Deffgut. What'll the boyz think if they see a great big humie beat a proppa orky Gargant? It might encourage a madboy or two to try it on his own." Kaptin Krumble squinted at the teeming mass of gretchin clambering to repair the hellstorm cannon. His eyes widened and he stepped back in shock.

"Deffgut, you see that? Is that a blue grot over there?" The Kaptin rubbed his eyes,  He squinted through the smokey glass again, but the blue grot was gone. "Nah, no way. Grots is proppa green."

Deffgut was about to question his Kaptin when the great whooping clarion alarms sounded. The belly gun was ready again, and the panicking orks were once again cheering. The Kaptin grinned as he picked up the tube.

"Alright boyz, this one's gotta count! Don't miss now! If they start shootin' us up again, a bunch of panzy gits is gonna be diggin' through my Gargant lookin' fer new scrap to nail onto their metal humie! Who wants that?" He waited for the resonating "WAAAGH!"s and "nobodies" and the odd madboy's cry of "grot-dakka" or some nonsense git phrase. He listened to the reverberating clicks of the gut buster lining up it's shot.

Across the forest, his great foe had begun walking forward, spraying flame from it's great maw. It's pace gradually picked up until it was at a full run (or, at least, the closest to a full run a Titan of it's size could get).

"Just makes it easier, boyz. FIRE!"

As the Gargant tilted backwards from the recoil of the great cannon, Boris raised it's great choppy arm as if to block the shot, huge chainsaws revving.

"What's 'e doin', Kaptin?" Deffgut shouted.

"Those gits! What's their pl-" the Kaptin began shouting, but trailed off as he looked out the window. Boris was close enough now that he could see into the many windows lining it's cathedrals. As he had scanned each window, he had come across an odd sight. A blue, noseless grot stinking her tongue out, directly at him.

He had noticed her exactly as the choppy arm had collided with the gut busters projectile, which was also the same moment a great blue flash nearly blinded him as void shields flickered into life, localized to only the Titan's hand. The projectile exploded harmlessly against the blue glow, and the choppy bits swung low in front of the Gargant. Kaptin Krumble and Deffgut pressed their faces up against the glass to look at it.

In one swift motion, the choppy arm dug into the belly gun of the Scrapkrusha, ruining it, and began climbing upward, ripping through floor after floor of thick scrap armor. Krumble pushed Deffgut out of the way and dove to the floor just as the chainsaw teeth came ripping through the floor slicing through the roof.

As Krumble clambered across the floor and looked down the smoking gash nearly cleaving his beautiful Gargant in two, a mighty voice boomed out from the enemy titan.

"Ya's got one more chance, gitz. Surrender, or I'll scrap ya fer me gubbinz!"

The mighty Kaptin Krumlble, the Rust Reaver, the Kaptin who made a dozen Gargants from the scrap of Imperial Titans, stood up, dusted himself off, and walked over to the window. He tossed his cigar out of the new hole in his bridge and took a deep breath before letting loose a mighty, but noble shout.

"I've considered your offer, an' have this to say."

He bent over, faced away, and dropped his trousers, revealing his green, warty buttocks to Boris and the entire watching crew. A swift kick of his foot pressed a button labeled "EMERGENSY" and the body of his Gargant exploded, propelling the head into the sky. Mechanical legs sprouted from the base of the neck to catch it on the landing, luckily out of range of Boris' dakka. It hastily scrambled off into the distance, smoking and clanking as pieces of the tiny, misshapen, and scarred head leapt and bounded over the horizon.

Inside Boris, a blue grot looked at her pet squig.

"Say, innit that Dok Gitstitchas gig?"