SCROUNGING BASTARDS
This family deserve to DIE

Meet the Dougan family, husband Bill and wife Doreen are Britain's biggest scroungers. They pocket an amazing £120 a week in handouts and live a life of luxury in a three bedroom house paid for by the council.

Bill hasn't done a single days work in the two years since he was blinded and partially paralysed in a car accident. He claims he's not fit for employment. But he still manages to get to his front door mat once a week where he picks up a whopping £85 state benefits cheque for so-called 'invalidity'. Unable to walk he sits at home on his arse all day counting his cash.

Dole family Dougan claim to be hard up - yet they still have TWO children, and soon there'll be more. They breed like RABBITS, and yo-yo knickered slut Doreen, 28, is hoping for ANOTHER sprog later this year, leaving tax payers like YOU to fork out another £12 a week in child benefit.

Perhaps next time she should spend some of it on contraceptives.

Free school milk for their ugly brood costs YOU the taxpayer another £2 a week. Yet bone idle Bill, 33 still wants MORE "It's difficult getting by on benefits and I'd like to be able to provide better for my children" the grasping git told our reporter.

Kids Michael, 9, and Angela, 5, have already jumped on the gravy train. Like their work-shy parents they expect something for nothing and collect a thumping 50p a week EACH in pocket money

Their house is crammed with tell tale signs of their cushy lifestyle. In the kitchen Mrs Dougan offered us a cup of "tea or coffee". Oh yes the big spending Dougans have BOTH. Their fancy swan kettle probably set them back £20 and a swish pedal bin in the corner must have cost thirty or forty quid.

But then that's hardly surprising. Because wife Doreen isn't short of a few bob. she works nights as a cleaner picking, up a hefty £42 a week as well as cleaning up on state hand outs. Nice work if you can get it.

But she still MOANS "What I'd really like is to take the family on holiday." she told us. "We've never been away at all since before we were married.". But wait a minute that's not all.

"With Bill unable to work I'd like to go out and pursue a career of my own. But it's difficult finding people to look after the kids." said the money grabbing bitch as she sat there sipping her expensive Nescafé coffee and offering fancy chocolate biscuits like there was no tomorrow.

Doreen's weekly shopping bill comes to £60 and she claims it's hard to make ends meet, despite raking in POUNDS in discount vouchers at the supermarket check-out. And the whining sow isn't even happy with her FREE council home. "One day I'd like to own a house of our own, with a garden for the kids to play in", groaned the grasping trollop.

Last night a senile Tory MP stopped wanking for five minutes to BLAST the Dougans before we'd even told him anything about them: "These people are a disease on our society", he ranted drunkenly "Why should the taxpayer fund their disgusting, depraved lifestyles? They should send them back where they came from and beyond."

A spokesman for the Labour party failed to say anything we could use out of context, despite several cleverly weighted questions.

What do YOU Think?

WE'VE whipped up our ignorant readers into a bigoted frenzy of hatred. Here's the kind of hand outs THEY'D like to see doled out to the money grabbing Dougans

"I think it's disgusting" said Dawn Shitehouse, bulldog faced moron mother of six.
"Their house is better than mine. People like that don't deserve to die, never mind live." she added.

"They should tattoo the words FILTHY SCUM BASTARDS on their foreheads and put their children in a mental home". said neighbour Edna Pigshit who gets 20p an hour LESS than Mrs Dougan at her cleaning job, "They're just vermin that's what they are. Hanging's too good for 'em they should string them up and throw away the key."

"Cut off his cock and make him eat it" said disabled war veteran Joe Mengler, 82, of Leeds. Plucky Joe who lost all his teeth biting a U Boat gets by on a paltry 2p a week army pension and is regularly mugged in his home by glue sniffers. "And I'd pull the lever myself", he added.

"They should cook him in his own blood and make him eat himself, then stone him to death with his own knackers", said taxi driver Ron Bigot, who works a 60 hour week and comes home with less than £200 since all the foreigners came over here an took all the jobs and the women. "If he has any more babies the doctors should pop their heads with their fingers like baby rats", he added.

Ring our HATE LINE

Have YOUR neighbours got a nicer house than you?
Do they appear better off than you are?
Or perhaps their garden is a mess or their kids have got snotty noses.
Ring us today on 0171 922 7386 and tell us about your nightmare neighbours. Perhaps we can arrange for a lynching. Rind us today. There's dozens of jumped up little cunt reporters fresh out of college and with no morals whatsoever waiting to take your call.