Void Walker
+9 to Blood Claws damage = 15 unholy, 90% accuracy
Precision of the Assassin ignores soaks
First hit: Enervation + 15 unholy
Second hit: 16 unholy (Rend Flesh)
Third hit: 17 unholy (Rend Flesh)

------- THE SCENARIO IN WHICH AN OVERLY HELPFUL FRIEND IS AIDING YOU -------

1000 Alcohol Drunk: 1 AP to drink each bottle = 1000 AP

1000 Angels Killed:
If all the angels killed are shepherds,
Three hits + Enervation + 1 use of Hellfire = 3 AP, 15 MP
Assuming four hits after MP runs out,
(3 AP * 3 kills) = 9 AP; (71 AP - 9 AP)/4 hits = 15 (rounded down) kills
15 + 9 = 24 kills per 71 AP cycle
1000/24 kills = 42 (rounded up) AP cycles = 42*71 = 2982 AP
90% hit chance, so assume 10% are misses = 2982/0.9 = 3313 AP
Assuming 5% are critical hits, and therefore 1 fewer AP is needed to kill that target = 3313 AP - 0.05(3313) = 3148 AP

1000 Books Read: 1 AP to read each book = 1000 AP

1000 Deaths: 1 AP per respawn at level 1 = 1000 AP

1000 Demons Killed: See Angels Killed = 3148 AP

1000 Doors Destroyed/1000 Doors Repaired:
Assuming you destroy a door that's just one repair step away from destruction (15 hp):
1 hit to destroy a door = 1000 AP
5 AP to repair a door = 5000 AP
Assuming you miss the door when trying to destroy it 10% of the time,
1000/0.9 = 1112 AP
6112 AP

1000 Food Eaten: 1 AP to eat each food item = 1000 AP

100000 HP Healed: 1 AP to heal 15 HP (assuming FAKs + Surgery + Kind Person Giving You FAKs)
6667 AP

1000 Items Crafted: Crafting Carving Knives = 12 AP per Knife (destroyed) = 12000 AP

1000 Items Repaired:
ASSUMING a helpful bowyer friend is creating Short Bows for you to repair one step = 5 AP per bow = 5000 AP

1000 Kills:
0 AP; you've already gotten this badge from killing all those angels and demons, you monster.

1000 Locks Picked:
60% chance of success for having lockpicks and the Lockpicking skill
1000 AP/0.6 = 1667 AP

1000 Pets Killed:
Killing imps or aethersprites = 1 hit + 1 use of Hellfire = 1 AP, 10 MP
Assuming 2 hits after MP runs out,
(1 AP * 4 kills) = 4 AP; (71 AP - 4 AP)/2 hits = 33 (rounded down) kills
33 + 4 = 37 kills per 71 AP cycle
1000/37 = 28 (rounded up) AP cycles = 1988 AP
Assuming 10% are misses = 1988/0.9 = 2208 AP
Assuming 5% are crits, which means 1 fewer AP = 2208 - 0.05*2208 = 2098 AP

1000 Pills Taken: 1 AP per pill(s) = 1000 AP

1000 Power Removed/1000 Power Restored:
Assuming you're teaming up with a helpful person,
5 AP per building to remove power; 5 AP per building to restore power = 5000 + 5000 = 10000 AP

1000 Targets Shot:
(Using an SMG, and reloading every 12 shots, and assuming someone sets up targets for you, and assuming someone is handing you ammo,
1000 AP
Assuming you're missing 15% of the time,
1000/0.85 = 1177 AP/shots
Reload 1177/12 = 98 times => 1177+98 = 1275 AP)
BUT
Using a rifle, and reloading every 6 shots,
1000 AP
Assuming you're missing 5% of the time,
1000/0.95 = 1053 AP/shots
Reload 1053/6 = 176 times => 1053+176 = 1229 AP

100000 Damage Dealt:
Assuming each target has 50 to 60 HP,
2000 kills already (demons and angels) = all the damage dealt needed already, so 0 AP

100000 Damage Taken:
If you have 71 hp, then the deaths badge will already have given you
71000 damage taken
If someone is healing you before you die for the rest of the damage needed, then 0 AP.

+AP for movement
+AP for respawning from random kills beyond the kills/damage taken stats

SO IN THE SCENARIO WHERE YOU ARE BEING HELPED, total amount of AP needed is 55069 (NOT COUNTING MOVEMENT AP, etc.) Which is 574 days. Which is 1.57 years.