From: "Tom Wilson" <tom@iwm.pw>
To: <oamission@btinternet.com>
Subject: In regards to your pathetic attempts at conversion
Date: Tue, Sep 9, 2014 14:28

Dear religious morons,

During a leisurely stroll in Middlesbrough Town Centre (that place near Newcastle, you might have heard of us from our awful football team), I came across one of your obtrusive little minions attempting (poorly) to shove your crackpot theories of religion down gullible peoples throats.

Whilst taking a walk to the local McDonalds (because I'm a fat fuck, and come on, who doesn't love shitty cheeseburgers) with a bunch of morons of whom I'm associated with, your little bald fucker handed me a shitstorm of bullshit within a small flimsy leaflet.

I've got to say, it's brave for a retard to stand in public and repeat the same stream of constant bullshit for hours straight, only stopping to restock the leaflets and I give commendations to your gullible fuck who gets paid to do that; a jobs a job, right?

I'm emailing you today to inform you that you and everything you stand for is based on a fiction book written by a half drunk fuckwit with no idea how society works. We're in the 21st century now, come on, get with the times. As a matter of fact, whenever I visit a bookstore (it's a very rare occasion when I do that and it's usually only to buy overpriced nonsense to get through education), I take great pleasure in casually moving Bibles from the non fiction section to the fiction section.

If you've made it this far through my verbal assault on your morals, I'd now like to direct you to the attachments on this email. Attached you will find some pictures of me that I'm sure you'll enjoy wholeheartedly. As you can see, I am Satan. Yes, really. I live in Middlesbrough, also known as 'Hell' amongst many.

Whilst I'd like to point out the flaws in your leaflets, it'd be a waste of my time without knowing it'd be read, so if you take time to respond to me, I'll divulge my thoughts.

Love you babes <333,
Tom

Xoxo

Sent from my HTC