Here's the story. I just got off work and was on my way to get a haircut. My wife called and told me that I needed to go pick up my son because she wasn't getting off until later. So I pick up my son and have to rush to the barbershop so I won't be late. I got there just in time and told my son to sit in the desk next to where I was sitting. Business was going as usual. Not 10 minutes later this lady cutting hair next to me gets a phone call.She starts screaming and yelling things like "what the fuck were you thinking!?!" "You fucking dumb little shit!?!" I'm concerned because my 6 year old son is right next to me. Her has this terrified look on his face. While all this is going on, my barber says "hey give 'em a break. Everyman needs a good blower" the lady didn't understand what he was implying. So he explains even further, completelythings like "what the fuck were you thinking!?!" "You fucking dumb little shit!?!" I'm concerned because my 6 year old son is right next to me. Her has this terrified look on his face. While all this is going on, my barber says "hey give 'em a break. Everyman needs a good blower" the lady didn't understand what he was implying. So he explains even further, completely oblivious that my SIX YEAR OLD is right there. He proceeds to say "he needs a good cock sucking" that was it. I grabbed my son and walked out. On the car ride home he was pretty quiet. We got home and he immediately goes " momma, are you a good cock sucker" my wife is speechless. I explained everything to her. We both are very concerned that he will bring this up at school. Until then we can only hope he doesn't. TL;DR: took my son with me to the barbershop, he learned some colorful language

Happened about an hour ago. Lunchtime, I'm walking the short distance from the separate building where I work to the main office where the cafeteria is. As I approach the doors from the side I spy a pretty girl I've never seen before approaching the same door from straight on.As I reach for the handle I turn my head to do the 'after you' smile. This is where I FU. By looking at the girl I miss the handle. But I’m already leaning back to counter the weight of the door and I fall over in the most uncool fashion imaginable.By brain fails to react and I literally go down backwards like a felled tree. I hit my shoulder hard on the post which supports the canopy over the door. Had it been my head that I hit I would've been out cold. I get up pretending to be fine, she seems concerned but is trying not to laugh. I'm trying not to cry. I am not cool.