Qemu detection, even the patch for this is a vulnerability

// ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
// THE BEER-WARE LICENSE (Revision 43):
// <aaronryool@gmail.com> wrote this file. As long as you retain this notice you
// can do whatever you want with this stuff. If we meet some day, and you think
// this stuff is worth it, you can buy me a beer in return
// ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#include <unistd.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <signal.h>
#include <sys/mman.h>

int main(unsigned a);

__sighandler_t handler(int sig)     // our signal handler function
{
    switch(sig)
    {
        case SIGSEGV:       // when segfaults happen
            main(0xC0DE);   // assume they have to be because of the bug and tell us we are in the matrix
        break;
    }
}
unsigned qemu(void)
{
    void *page =(void *) ((unsigned long) (&&assembly) &~(getpagesize() - 1)); // get the page the assembly is on
    mprotect(page, getpagesize(), PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE | PROT_EXEC);  // mark that shit as RWE for self modification
assembly: asm volatile(
".intel_syntax noprefix\n"
    "mov eax, 0x90\n"   // move a nop into eax for copying
    "mov ecx, 9\n"      // move 9 into ecx for the number of bytes the byte code is from the offset to the jmp
    "mov edi, offset $\n"   // mov the address of the start of this instruction into edi for rep
    "rep stosb\n"       // finally, repeat that byte over the memory region
    "jmp _qemu\n"       // this should be overwritten, if it isnt, some naughty child is running an old version of qemu lol, and they are in the matrix
    "jecxz noqemu\n"    // if ecx is 0, we are not in the matrix by definition lol, if it is not 0, then
"_qemu:\n"          // this is the matrix
    "mov eax, 1\n"      // follow cdecl calling convention and return 1 in eax
    "ret\n"
"noqemu:\n"         // this is not the matrix
    "xor eax, eax\n");  // return 0 according to cdecl calling convention
}


int main(unsigned a)
{
    if(a==0xC0DE) goto matrix;  // if this shit is from a segfault, we are matrix status
    signal(SIGSEGV, &handler);  // register the segfault signal to be caught by our handler

    if(qemu()) goto matrix;     // if this is an old version of qemu, and the standard vulnerability is present, MATRIX (upgrade yo shit foo)
    puts("Isn't real life boring?");    // if we get here, this is boring reality :( no cool ninja moves today bro lol
    exit(0);

matrix:
    puts("The Matrix haz you Neo...");  // this is where you would put ninja moves, jack in or jack off, your choice ;)
    exit(1);
}