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Your Eldritch Wife's Cult

TLA
May 21st, 2016
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  1. >You are Anon.
  2. >And you feel that today is going to be a great day.
  3. >Rising up into a setting position, you take a moment to stretch.
  4. >When you finished, you look next to you, and see your slumbering wife.
  5. >Iggy, Cosmic Destroyer of Minds!
  6. >Is snoring gently as an adorable blue earth pony.
  7. >Seriously sometimes you have problems remembering that your wife is a horror of unimaginable proportions.
  8. >Not taking too much time admiring her as she sleeps.
  9. >You lean over, and kiss her softly on the neck.
  10. >She stirs slightly as your lips leave her neck.
  11. >Getting up from the bed, you knock out a quick stretch, before making up your side of the bed.
  12. >Moving towards your coat hanger.
  13. >You don your robe, and slippers.
  14. >Heading down stairs, you go into the kitchen, and start making a pot of coffee.
  15. >While the coffee is being made, you leave it to get the morning paper.
  16. >You open the front door the first thing you see is.
  17. >A bunch of weird ass ponies, wearing black robes, and bowing in front of your house.
  18. >The fuck?
  19. >The group of ponies responds to the sudden noise.
  20. >All of them looking up before doing anything.
  21. >”Aw, it’s just the star child’s pet human.” Says the pony in front, with an effeminate voice.
  22. >A resounding aw sweeps through your lawn.
  23. “Pet?!” “Well you all can go suck a dick!”
  24. >Slamming the door behind you, you sigh angrily.
  25. >Guess you better tell Iggy she has a cult now.
  26.  
  27. >Briskly go up the stairs.
  28. >This annoyance need to be fix now.
  29. >And since it’s just the right time in the morning for ponies to go to work.
  30. >Who know how many have seen those freaks bowing in your front lawn.
  31. >Kinda surprising that none have called the guard yet.
  32. >Opening the door to your bedroom, you can see that Iggy is up, stretching and letting out a yawn.
  33. >”Good morning best human.” she says after she finishes her yawn.
  34. “Good morning.”
  35. >You tried your best to keep the irritation out of your voice.
  36. >But it seems Iggy to pick up on it anyways.
  37. >”Okay Anon, what’s eating you so early in the morning?”
  38. “Hmm well, this might come to a surprise to you, but you have a lot of weird ponies ready to worship the ground you walk on, right outside our door step.”
  39. >She blinks for a bit at this new information.
  40. >”The hell are you talking about?” she says, as she rips a hole through reality, and stares through it.
  41. >You have just gained two points of insight.
  42. >”Umm how long have they been out there?”
  43. “Beats me, all I know is that they want to meet their prophet from the stars.”
  44. >Iggy sighs, before closing the rift.
  45. >”And you didn’t kick them off our property because?”
  46. “I wanted to see you drive them insane?”
  47.  
  48. >Iggy just shakes her head, before getting out of the bed.
  49. >Which then proceeds to fix itself.
  50. >She makes her way to the bathroom, but stop just before the door.
  51. >”Okay one last question.” She says, turning her head towards you.
  52. >”What did they do to you that got you so riled up?”
  53. “They called me your pet.”
  54. >Apparently Iggy found this funny, as she tries to contain a giggle.
  55. “Hey, what’s so funny huh?”
  56. >She manages to get a hold of herself before answering you.
  57. >”Oh it’s nothing Anon.”
  58. >All of a sudden, you feel something caress your check, overloading your senses with an indescribable sensation.
  59. >”Give me a bit, and we’ll go deal with the big bad name callers.”
  60. >Just couldn’t help it could you?
  61. >You hear a nope echo through your mind, as Iggy disappears into the bathroom.
  62.  
  63. >You know, for an unidentifiable cosmic being.
  64. >Iggy still takes forever in the bathroom.
  65. >Don’t know why the bathroom hold such power over every single female in existence.
  66. >But it does.
  67. >After some time, Iggy emerges from the bathroom.
  68. >The form she decided on was a Pegasus.
  69. >Her coat, and mane is black, with her underbelly, inner legs, neck, around her mouth, nose and around her eyes is red.
  70. >Her mane is braided, and hangs off her shoulder.
  71. >It’s a wonderful thing that this is a marriage of jokester.
  72. “Woah Iggy calm down there.”
  73. >She stares at you, in hopes that you would explain yourself.
  74. “Just because you have a cult that is willing to sacrifice a baby goat in your name, doesn’t mean you can get all edgy on me.”
  75. >It takes her a second before she gets it.
  76. >And her response is to stomp her hoof, puff out her chest, and pout.
  77. >”Really Anon?!”
  78. “Why yes, just be sure to warn me when I’m about cut myself on an invisible razor blade.”
  79. >Something hits the back of your head.
  80. >You were about to say something, but Iggy cuts you off.
  81. >”You said warn you if you were about to cut yourself, I didn’t cut you, so no warning.”
  82. >Smug Eldritch horror.
  83. >C’mon lets deal with these cultist, before someone calls the guard.” She says, as she stars walking towards the door.
  84. >She thinks she can have the last laugh.
  85. >Ha.
  86. >You pull out your phone, and activate its voice command.
  87. “Play “Waking the Demon.”
  88. >The song starts blaring through your phone’s speakers.
  89. >Iggy stop when she hears the song, but couldn’t help herself from smiling.
  90. >”You know I’m just going to get you back for this.”
  91.  
  92. >The two of you head downstairs, but before you exit the front door, you stop.
  93. >”Alright, so how wild, and crazy is this going to get?”
  94. >Iggy stops, before she turn towards you.
  95. >”I’m not driving them all insane Anon.”
  96. “Huh, why not?”
  97. >”Well first off driving them insane in the front lawn would cause one hell of a scene.
  98. >”One that would require the involvement of this town’s local heroes and the guard, because ponies are screaming about madness incarnate.”
  99. >”And second, all they did was call you my pet, and that smaller than anything I’ve done to you as a joke.”
  100. >”So suck it up, and try not to pout too much okay.”
  101. >She turns around and resumes heading to the door.
  102. >Reluctantly you follow behind.
  103. >Iggy opens the front door, and steps outside.
  104. >It take a few second before the crowd has any sort of reaction.
  105. >But when they get one.
  106. >”Praise be, it’s her!”
  107. >”Our prophet has come to deliver onto a higher plane!”
  108. >”Oh blessed star child, could you please kiss my soon to be born baby?!”
  109. >Iggy recoils from their sudden outburst.
  110. ‘What have you never had a cult before?’ you raise the question in your mind, so she can read it.
  111. >’No, there was only two people who even know I existed on Earth.’
  112. ‘And what happened to the second person?’
  113. >’He’s still in Ohio, quarantine with the rest of them.’
  114. ‘The hell did you do to Ohio?’
  115. >’Something that you’ll never find out about.’
  116.  
  117. >”Please my kindred, can’t you see that you startled her?”
  118. >The cult leader manages to calm the crowd down.
  119. >”Um, well yes this is kinda new to me.”
  120. >Wow never saw Iggy this nervous before.
  121. >Iggy clears her throat, before she continues.
  122. >”Yes, I guess proper introductions are in order.”
  123. >The leader rises from her kneeling position.
  124. >”There is no need Ignal’oth, for we already know yours, and our names is insignificant compared to you.
  125. >There is a shocked expression on Iggy’s face.
  126. “Hold on a sec, how you even know that.”
  127. >The leader turns her head towards you.
  128. >”I know it because it is ingrained into my very mind.”
  129. >She turns back towards Iggy.
  130. >”Strange that your pet doesn’t know your name, Great One.”
  131. >Oh this bitch is looking for an ass kicking.
  132. >”I’m going to correct you on that, Anon is my husband, not my pet.”
  133. >The leader is silent for a moment.
  134. >”I see.”
  135. >Excuse me? Is that all this fucker has to say?
  136. >”Calm down Anon.” Iggy’s voice pierce your thoughts.
  137. >”Now that that has been settled, would you kindly show us our face?”
  138. >”It would be nice to see who we’re talking to.”
  139. >The hooded figure nods.
  140. >”Ah, yes forgive me.”
  141. >Can’t forgive you for being such a bitch.
  142. >The leader removes the hood from he-.
  143. >Now hold up.
  144. >That’s a very manly looking stallion.
  145. >…What?
  146.  
  147. >The leader coat is a bright yellow, with a streak of white running from his nose to presumable down his back.
  148. >Emerald eyes stare intently forward.
  149. >He either shaved his head bald, or he is bald, one of the two
  150. >And there is a weird black squiggly line on his cheek.
  151. >But all that is not important.
  152. “So how did the voice happen, are you FtM, or something?”
  153. >”Anon, that isn’t a question you ask to someone you just met!”
  154. >”No, its fine, I’m used to the confusion by now.”
  155. >”And no, it’s much more complex matter than just changing my hormones.”
  156. “Oh please do tell this riveting tale of yours.”
  157. >”I have a better idea.” Iggy rudely interjects.
  158. >”How about we all have this nice conversation indoors, because we’re starting make a crowd.”
  159. >All eyes turn towards the street, and she’s right.
  160. >A growing crowd of ponies was starting to amass in the street, with whispers, and hybrid looks of concern and interest.
  161. >”Hmm I suppose you’re right, the outcry from non-believers would be problematic.”
  162. >”Alright then it’s settled, everyone follow me.”
  163. >Iggy turns around, and steps into the house.
  164. >You were about to follow, when you noticed the ponies in the street acting odd.
  165. >Some of them found themselves off balance, struggling desperately to stand up.
  166. >Others are clenching their heads between their hooves.
  167. >One unlucky sod didn’t take to kindly to Iggy’s mind intrusion, and passed out.
  168.  
  169. >Turning away from the scene of confusion.
  170. >You noticed that you’re the last one left outside your house.
  171. >You walk into your house, and the first thing you notice is that living room is bigger.
  172. >Like physically impossible to fit in your house bigger.
  173. >The all the cultist sat around Iggy, who is sitting in front of the fire place, and next to her is an empty chair.
  174. >”Geez Anon, didn’t anyone tell you it’s impolite to stare.”
  175. >She had this shit eating grin on her face.
  176. “Yeah well, seeing a group of ponies having a mental breakdown in the middle of the street is such an attention grabber.”
  177. >Iggy just waves her hoof at your statement.
  178. >”Oh please, this isn’t the first time I’ve messed with mortal minds, how else do you think I kept myself entertained back in Ohio.”
  179. >”Besides some of them were whispering about telling the guard after our friendly cult’s outburst, and it’s not like they’re just going to all day.”
  180. >”I’ve already got them moving to where they’re supposed to be, and they won’t be none the wiser when they get there.”
  181. >Shrugging in defeat, you make your way pass all the cultist, and take a seat next to your wife.
  182. >”So, um, you know what I’m just going to call you CL, since you won’t give us a name okay?”
  183. >He nods his head in agreement.
  184. >”Alright then CL, do you mind telling us how you started this cult?”
  185. “Nah that can, you should start by telling us how you became a cuntboy.”
  186. >CL stares at you puzzling.
  187. >”A cuntboy?”
  188. >”Ignore him, he’s just looking for attention.”
  189. “No I’m not, hearing how he got this way is very important.”
  190. >”If I may interject, then I can appease both of your curiosity, because how I got this way is the reason why I started this flock in the first place.”
  191. >Score one for Anon!
  192. >Iggy sighs
  193. >”Alright then, how did this all start?”
  194.  
  195. >”It started three months ago.”
  196. >”I was once a mare, and was diagnosed with cancer.”
  197. >”The cell contaminated every part of my body, the doctors only gave me three months to live.”
  198. >”I spent weeks wallowing in depression, dreams of a pure, clean body, I didn’t care what it was, but such was wishful thinking of a dying mare.”
  199. >”Then one night, I fell asleep, and awoke in a world so unknown to me.”
  200. >”All around me wear shape indescribable to me.”
  201. >”Sensations that overload my sense that can never be emulated again.”
  202. >”And in my delirium is when I saw it.”
  203. >”The great chasm that held my salvation.”
  204. >”Ignal’oth’s mighty tentacle stood out among the noise, casting itself into a faraway land.”
  205. >”The sight completely mesmerized me.”
  206. >”Ignal’oth’s great appendage moved towards me, and knock me aside, like an insignificant insect.”
  207. >”And then it happened.”
  208. >”I could feel my body changing.”
  209. >”It felt as if my skin was on fire, as bones started to rearrange.”
  210. >”It was a horrendous agony, but in the end it was worth it.”
  211. >”For when I awoke from my slumber, I felt different.”
  212. >”And when I conformed it by looking at my reflection.”
  213. >”I was beyond joyous of my transformation.”
  214. >”But it isn’t complete, as I still have my old voice, and genital, but such impurities pale in comparison if it allows me to devote myself to you for saving my life.”
  215. >”And then I thought, I couldn’t be the only one affected by your presence, so in the past months, I was looking others, who’s lives was forever changed by you.”
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