Twilight "Mayobutt" Sparkle

>twilight and anon fuck
>twilight forgets to wash up
>she goes to meet her friends for lunch with anon's spunk all over her backside
>awkward questions
>embarrassment ensues

SOMEONE MAKE IT HAPPEN
---

>"Um, Twilight. Darling. You, um, hm. How do I say this. Twilight. Darling. Uh..."
"Spit it out, Rarity."
>"Darling. Twilight. Darling."
"Darling. Rarity. Say something or stop."
>Rarity points to Twilight's backside
>"Did you and Anon, um, have a little 'fun' before coming here?"
"That stuff's personal, Rarity. Why would you ask me that?"
>Rarity looks utterly perplexed, struggling to find a way to tell you
>"Your backside is leaking semen, Twilight. Darling," she says, swathed in embarrassment
>Twilight freezes
>Princess H. Celestia
>She looked around, realizing a lot of ponies were looking at her with bugged-out eyes
"U-Uh..." she stammered
"Th-That's mayonnaise. I f-forgot h-how to eat it, I g-guess."

>Rainbow Dash chimes in
>"How'd you manage that? We're you eatin' sandwiches or something?"
>Twilight stammers, desperately trying to buy time to come up with another excuse
"U-Uh.. Oh!..R-Right! A-Anon and I were m-making sandwiches!"
>The ponies around her all cock an eyebrow
>Fluttershy squeaks from the background before RD speaks again
>"Then how did it end up.."
"O-Oh haha, A-Anon must of accidentally d-dropped some on my back and I d-didn't notice, haha!"
>[internal screaming intensifies]
>"Darling that doesn't look like mayonn--"
"It is."
>"Look, darling, it's alright to--"
>Suddenly, Pinkie out of nowhere
>"Why don't you eat it then, so we can get on with our day together?"
>She does a genuine, ignorant smile
>Everyone, including Twilight, just stares back at her wide eyed

>"Seriously though, Twi. Not to be crass, but were ya tryin' to shove sandwiches up yer cooter or somethin'? Cause it looks like Anon was dropping stuff IN you, and not on you."
>Fucking Applejack
>Fuck
>[sweats loudly]
>Pinkie bounces around, ending up with her face right in front of Twilight's
>"You do know that's not where sandwiches go, right?"
"You don't know that."
>spaghetti.mov
>Oh Celestia please help
>"Twilight, darling, please. Let's just admit what's happened and get past th-"
"What happened is that Anon and I had passionate sandwich making and some mayonnaise landed on my rear end."
>truestory.jpg
>"Darling..."
"I swear it. You all believe me right? I'll totally eat it, because, y'know, it's mayo. I love mayo. I write mayo fanfiction. It's mayonnaise"
>Oh Celestia everyone looks so uncomfrotable
>Save for Pinkie
>sweatingguy.jpg

>"Ooh, ooh, can I have some!"
>Pinkie gave Twilight her classic smile
>Fuuuuuuuuuuuck
"Uh, you know, I am so hungry, Pinkie, so hungry that I think I'll have all of it."
>Pinkie frowns heavily
>"But what about sharing and caring?! I wrote a whole song and dance routine about sharing! Don't you guys remember?"
>The whole group nods uncomfortably
>"How could we forget..." Applejack mutters
"P-P-Pinkie, I don't feel comfortable sharing Anon's m-mayo, with you."
>Rarity pulls Twilight aside
>"Twilight, just end this charade and-"
"There's no charade! Stop looking at me! Oh my Celestia everyone in this whole place is staring at me."
>"Maybe that's because you're being weird," Rainbow added. "I don't get why you guys are being all weird over mayonnaise"
>Fucking Rainbowdash
>Probably didn't even know boys and girls were different that fucking dyke
>Fervently, Twilight rubs her hay sandwich up along her back side, floating the sandwich in front of her + "mayo"
"S-See. I'm going to eat this n-"
>Pinkie took a big chomp out of the sandwich
>"Hm, Twilight, this tastes funny."
>doyoufeelitmrkrabs.jpg

>Fluttershy falls to the floor, out cold
>Rarity recoils, eyes bugged out of her head, somehow paler than an albino ginger
>Applejack puts her hat on her face
>"Ha, that was on her butt."
>Fucking Rainbow ducking Dash
>Seriously
"Uh, I-I-I, b-but..."
>Twilight's completely frozen, half a sandwich floating before her
>Pinkie just sits there with her oblivious smile
"P-Pinkie, uh, I- WAIT DON-"
>She took another bite
>Another fucking bite
>This time taking the rest of the sandwich down
>The other ponies in the restaurant gasp in shock
>fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
>The door at the front of the place opens up
>Princess fucking Celestia walks in
>"Ah, my favorite student! Oh, well, Princess now," she says with a doting smile
>She looks around, confused
>"May I ask what's going on?"
>Hands were sweaty
>mom's spaghetti
"M-Mayonnaise..."
>"Huh?"

>Rainbow floated up to the Princess, a shit eating grin on her face
>"Pinkie Pie totally ate mayonnaise that came off of Twilight's butt!"
>FUCK
>"Is that so?" Celestia replied with a chuckle
>by Celestia
>why
"Ha, yeah, that's us! Totally zany and wacky! That's what happened!"
>Celestia patted Twilight on the head, laughing
>"Yup!" Pinkie said. "Tasted a lot more like semen than Mayonnaise though!"
>Celestia's hoof went still
>Oh fuck that look in her eye
>Oh fuck that slow withdrawal of her hoof
>Oh fuck that uncomfortable as fuck smile
"H-Ha. H-How w-wacky! S-Silly stuff!"
>Applejack groans from behind her hat
>Twilight gave everyone a shaky smile
"M-Mayonnaise... Am I right?"
>The door to the restaurant swings open again
>It's Anon
>"Hey guys! What's up... Why are you all looking at me?"
"B-Because of all the mayonnaise we accidentally put in my butt when we were making sandwiches."
>"I don't remember put-"
>"Darling, enough. Enough. Please. It hurts."
"THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT. WHO EVEN KNOWS HOW TO EAT A SANDWICH?! HONEST MISTAKE."

>"Pretty sure you don't eat food with your butt"
"I swear to Celestia, Rainbow Das-"
>"I'm right here Twilight."
>Twilight stutters
>"It's okay. Embarrassing moments will come to pass. But seriously. Seriously. That shit's disgusting."
"Since when is putting a sandwich in your butt disgusting? When did this meeting declaring that 'disgusting' happen, and why wasn't I invited?"
>Celestia shakes her head
>"Twilight, I think we all know what's happened. No need to continue lying."
>Everyone was staring
>fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
"Fine, I've been lying..."
>Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, save for Pinkie and RD who looked as oblivious as ever
>"This is a learning mome-"
"It was on purpose. That's just how I eat sandiwches."
>"God fucking damn it, Twilight."

"Waiter, new sandwich, now!"
>A waiter nods nervously, coming out quickly with a new hay sandwich
>"Twilight, think about what you're doing! We're all here for you. We understand!" Rarity pleaded
>"Pfft, I don't get you guys. This is hilarious."
>Rainblow fookin Crash
"You can't stop me. True friends are authentic with each other. THIS IS THE REAL ME."
>Twilight's magical aura surrounds the sandwich, and immediately Applejack and Rarity grab for it, trying to stop Twilight
>She loses her grip, and it falls back onto the table
>"Twi, please, you're bein' unreasonable!"
"ANON, IF YOU LOVE ME YOU'RE GOING TO SHOVE THAT SANDWICH UP MY POOPER"
>"Ah b-b-b uh fff" he stutters
"DID YOU EVER REALLY LOVE ME"
>Anon grabbed for the sandwich
>The ponies try to stop him, but Twilight pushes them away with her magic
>He places it on Twilight's rear end
"DO IT. THIS IS HOW I EAT. THIS IS THE REAL ME"

>At that moment, the Tree of Harmony withered
>It were as if a million voices cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced
>Darkness fell over the land

>"Tw-Twilight," Celestia said, visibly shaken, tears running down her face as Twilight cackled maniaclly
>"Twilight, this is a thousand times worse than admitting the truth. You realize that, right?"

>Twilight's face was contorted in pain and mad zeal
"Worse? You imply there's been any subterfuge, Princess. Any lies. Any deceit. No, no, this is truth!"
>Rainbow Dash's head is cocked in curiosity
>"So, you're the egghead, is this, like, a better way to eat food or somethin'?"
>"Mah God, Rainbow. Don't you see what's goin' on?"
>Twilight laughs
"Of course, Rainbow. Food should be eaten through the butt. It's not like Anon and I would have been doing anything else with my butt."
>"So, do you like poop out your mouth then?"
>Everyone, save for RD, Twilight, and Pinkie, groans
"O-Obviously. Because that's what happens. When you eat. With your butt. Which I do do"
>Rainbow Dash chuckled
>Anon put his hand on Twilight's shoulder
>"T-Twilight, please-"
"IF YOU EVER WANT TO PUT MAYO IN MY BUTT AGAIN YOU'LL BACK ME UP."
>"Twi-"
"I SWEAR TO CELESTIA ANON!"
>She looked so angry she could pop a blood vessel
>But, she was angry enough to pop a toot
>A lettuce confetti pooted out into the air in relative silence
>Death could not come sooner
>She just wanted to splash her orange juice all over everypony
>"PARTY WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~" Pinkie shouted as she fired her party cannon

>"Twilight, darling, you need to let this go. It's embarrassing, sure, b-but we all understand. Maybe not the lengths you've gone to... but we're all here for you! We're your friends!"
>Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes
>"What are you guys talking about, seriously? Sheesh."
>"Jumpin' junipers, Rainbow! THEY HAD SEX. ANON AND TWILIGHT HAD SEX."
>Rainbow Dash looked completely puzzled
>"Well, wait, what's that got to do with mayonnai-"
>"BOYS AND GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT, RAINBOW"
>Defiant, Rainbow Dash crossed her arms
>"I'll believe it when I see it."
>Applejack grunted loudly, seething with rage that could be felt through your computer monitor
>Celestia approached Twilight, putting a hoof on her shoulder
>"Twilight, it's okay to be embarrassed, but when we lie to cover things up, you can get caught up things you never intended. Trust me, I know."
>Twilight sighed
"I'm sorry guys. It's true, Anon and I had sex, and I guess I was so excited to hang out with you all afterwards that I forgot to clean up. I guess the moral of the story is, if you're sticking things up your butt, better it be a penis than a sandwich."
>"I think you have something to write in your diary," Celestia said with a wink