Spoonlicker Anon Pt. 16

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Summary: Anonymous is a child that no one can understand, not even Flutters. However, Twilight has been steadily making steps to develop a new system of language based on gestures and mannerisms. The creature she once discredited and then feared has become something of a special interest now that she understands a little more on what, or rather who, Anonymous is.

Last Chapter: Twilight dreams a duet of dreams concerning Anon’s future, before being abruptly awakened by Anonymous, who leads her to the house. After finding the place empty, she searches for something to entertain Anon with, and settles on a drawing book and crayons. She takes an interest in crossword puzzles before catching a glimpse of today’s news. A report on “The Ponyville Creature” has her giddy about taking Anon into town.

Twilight and Granny prepare dinner and discuss the impromptu farmhands, the situation in town, and a bit of Anonymous’ future. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy arrive just before dinner is done, and Rainbow gets herself in trouble with Rarity about cleanliness. Twilight tries to feed Anon dog food by adding sugar. The results, expectable.

During dinner, Twilight informs everyone present of Anon's mannerisms and habits, as well as 'speech'. Small talk about flying lessons, firehoses, and Rainbow's weight take up the night until Granny lets out that she offered the living room to Twilight and Anon. Applejack and Big Mac are concerned about this sudden information, but eventually Granny Smith calms them down before Applebloom blurts out her own agenda. Granny settles the second surprise too, and silence returns until Pinkie takes a jab at Anon's hygiene and suggest they receive Rarity's help. The other's cannot help but join in.

Posted in Thread 959
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>The laughter winds down across the table and you settle further into your chair. With a full belly, good cheer, and hope for the future the day couldn’t have been better.
>An azure blue wraps around your plate and removes it from the spot. You catch the ufo land on the growing tower in front of Rarity.
“Ay’ll get it.”
>”I insist.”
>Another pile rises at the other end of the table; an elastic pink hoof collecting the dues. Equally weak objections come from Fluttershy and are similarly dismissed.
>Food still remains on Anon’s plate, yet the poking and prodding seems to indicate that it has had its fill. Rarity glances over before heading to the sink, leaving it within Pinkie’s domain.

>”Are you done?”
>The sugary voice draws Anonymous’ attention. Pinkie imitates shoveling food into her mouth, followed by covering her face with a hoof and turning her head away. She then pushes the imaginary tray away.
>Anonymous pursues the path of the outstretched hoof beyond its conclusion and ends on Fluttershy. Turning back to Pinkie, it waits.
>She could probably take the food away and see if Anon becomes upset. You go to offer the suggestion, but another flurry begins.
>After pointing at Anon she mimes eating again, and then points to the food. This time Anon bangs its arms together in cross.
>Clever girl.
“That means no.”

>The plate disappears towards the sink with the rest of the pink pony. Applejack and Fluttershy join Big Mac at the counter and get to work cleaning.
>Granny Smith rests against her seat with closed eyes and a modest smirk. Rainbow pops her joints with a stretch of hooves and wings. She too crashes into nap mode.
>Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo remain watching Anon. When it notices their stares more gestures direct themselves at the bunch.
>Your notions of wanting to assist cleaning disappear in the requirements of your study.


>Anonymous singles out Scootaloo, makes the chopping motion, points to Fluttershy, and then does both the banging of fists and arms.
>[Scootaloo]; (related); [Fluttershy]; [Yes/ Same] [No/ Different].
>Sweetie Belle and Applebloom look to Scootaloo without a word. Scootaloo’s face contorts in numerous ways.
“Anun is ashking if yuu and Fluttershy are related.”
>”What? No!”
>Scootaloo fiercely clangs her forelimbs repeatedly while the other two giggle.
>”It knows yer birds of a feather. One yella, the other yella bellied.”
>”Am not!”
>”Are too!”
>”Am not!”
>”Ya tried ta sell me out.”
>”It’s your fault we got caught in the first place.”
>”Not again. Applebloom was just a…victim of circumstance. Scootaloo, you should tell Anonymous that you’re not Dash’s sisters.”

>That may be a good idea. You call to Scootaloo, interrupting her back and forth with Applebloom, and carefully walk her through how to convey the message.
>[Me]; (related); [Rainbow Dash]; [No/ Different].
>Anonymous’ sits up straight and looks to the rest of the ponies. It then waves another set.
>[Scootaloo]; (related); [Twilight Sparkle]; [Yes/ Same] [No/ Different].
>[No]; [No]; [No].
>She doesn’t have to be so enthusiastic about it.

>Turning to you, Anon asks the reverse. You prepare to confirm that you are not, but stop. Scootaloo tries to answer for you and you hold up a hoof.
“Wait.”
>Related, Family, Like.
>If your original hunch is correct Anon means direct family or someone very important. However, you also used the symbol in the barn yesterday to convey species and similar body parts.
>There are too many definitions; the sign could end up completely useless. You have to fix this.
>Which to use? Going with Anonymous’ version sounds obvious, but then how will you explain the rest. On top of that Scootaloo and Dash’s relationship makes everything more complicated.
>Why couldn’t she have been born as Rainbow’s sister?


>Breath in, and out.
>In.
>And out.
>Alright.
>You told everypony that the gesture means family and those that are important. Applebloom used it to show that Big Mac and Granny Smith were her family too. Besides Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash, Anon’s definition fits. That is the easiest version to keep.
>So now onto how to explain species or likeness. If you knew what that high swinging motion meant you might be able to use that somehow, but this is not the time for coulds and shoulds.
>Not immediate family, but beyond family. Maybe…
>Knocking on the table you take the spotlight.
[Me]; (family); [Scootaloo]; [No/ Different]…ummm, [Me];  (family)  (family); [Scootaloo]; [Yes/ Same].

>You immediately extend one of your wings and press on.
[Me]; [Wing]; [Scootaloo]; [Wing]; (family) (family); [Yes/ Same].
>And the counterpoint.
[Me]; (family) (family); [Sweetie Belle]; [Yes/ Same].
[Me]; [Wing]; [Sweetie Belle]; [Wing]; (family) (family); [No/ Different].
>Watching Anonymous for any reaction at all, your stomach forgets the comforting feeling of being full. The biped’s arms rise up; marking you then placing a closed hand with a single extended finger against its forehead. That emptiness inside you turns into butterflies.

>[Twilight Sparkle]; [Horn]; [Sweetie Belle]; [Horn]; (family) (family); [Yes/ Same] [No/ Different].
>The buzzing of your thoughts is near deafening and your every tendon goes lax. A sliver of glee slinks over your wide open mouth.
>You weren’t too complex at all! Not only did it understand, but it actually understood well enough to form a question!
>Catching yourself, you frantically search the room to see if anyone else caught that. Although the crusaders watch in wonder, the rest are pre-occupied.
>Anon innocently sits there, asking for little else than an answer. Your clopped reply is as loud as your internal joy.
[Yes/ Same].


>[Scootaloo]; (family); [Rainbow Dash]; [Yes/Same] [No/Different].
>The hole in your gut was gone, but the coming results of your next answer bite at your thoughts. You were hoping to enjoy your victory a little longer, but you have to commit here. You can no longer question if the sign is for family or someone special. Your actions here may determine the meaning forever.
[No/ Different].
>The subject falters slightly, and does not try another question. It appears to still be slightly confused; your objective not yet met.
>Defining importance will be the next challenge. How can you explain that? Maybe friendship would do?
>Anon likes to be in groups and relies on cooperation so it must have some sort of equivalent. However, you’ve exhausted your known gestures already.
>Let’s call in an expert.

“Fluttershy, can yuu khome here?”
>Rarity takes over for Fluttershy as she returns to the table.
>”What is it, Twilight?”
“How do yuu tell animuls you’re their friend?”
>”Very carefully. I approach them with a smile, and when they let me get close I say something nice about them. I try to nuzzle with them too, if they’ll let me.”
“How do yuu tell tell them; like when using words?”
>”Oh, sorry. I, uh, just say it.”
>She still doesn’t seem to grasp your intentions. Let’s be plain about it.
“Ay want to tell Anunymus that Scootaloo and I are friends. How whould yuu do that?”
>”Ummm...”
>Fluttershy stands there for a spell; hoof on her chin.

>”I never really had trouble with that, e-except that one time at the gala. They still won’t talk to me. And then there was Philo…Sorry, Twilight, I’m not much help.”
“Don’t worry about it, Fluttershy.”
>”Oh, oh, pick me! Pick me!”
>Unrestrained excitement rockets over to you with the biggest grin. Coming to a dead stop mere inches from you, she twangs in place before becoming as stiff as a board.
>You wait for her to continue. And wait…and wait.


Ugh “Peenkey.”
>”Yes, Twilight? Do you need something?”
>Sometimes…
“Ay want to explain friendship to Anun. How can we do that with the signs we have?”
>Hmmm “That is tricky, but I have an idea.”
>Your heavy lids grow heavier.

>”Just make something up.”
>And those heavy lids fly open.
“Wut?! That’s your idea?!”
>”Mmhmm. We don’t have a symbol for friend so let’s make one.”
“We can’t just make something up!”
>”Of course we can.”
>Your zeal enflames the sting of your throat but Pinkie’s abuse of logic will not pass this time.
“No, we can’t. We need to use established meanings or we might confuse it.”
>”Nony knows their name, they can learn this too.”
“It doesn’t work that way. Ay knew what it calls itself. That’s why Ay could teach it.”
>”But—“
“No buts.”
>”Okay, you win.”
>Her signature grin never leaves, and her peppy tone clashes with the admission of defeat. The triggered warning runs from your mane to your tail; joints locking up in preparation. A Pinkie-Pinkie sense if you will.

>”Twilight, could you stand up for a minute?”
“Wut are yuu up to?”
>”Just a test~”
>Despite your mistrust of those words you know there is only one way to find out what she is planning. You’ll have to play along.
>Standing from your chair you await your next instruction.
>”Now tell Anonymous about me and you.”
>Balancing on three legs you point to yourself.
>”And you can’t use your wings or horn.”
>You weren’t going to; not for general relation anyway. Resuming the message, you make two separate hacking motions, and point to Pinkie.
[Me]; (family) (family); [Pinkie Pie]; [Y--], [Ye-], [Ye-]
>In order to use your front hooves to clap you have to prop yourself into the air long enough to make the gesture. What was once so simple becomes more of a balancing act than a conversation; the clacking of your hooves against the floor ringing out with each failed attempt.


>Finally you manage to hold your bruised body up long enough for two successful bangs.
[Yes].
>Snickering comes from across the way, and you notice that the collection of nearby stares have landed on you. Spotting your blue friend’s mischievous gaze you simply roll your eyes. Pinkie’s wide brimmed smile is par for the course, but she’s thankfully quiet about it. At the other end, Granny Smith is also observing, though in a more muted manner.
>Sweetie Belle and Applebloom share a mix of Pinkie’s eagerness and Granny’s self-control. Scootaloo was the same until she caught Rainbow’s reaction and joined her. Birds of a feather alright.
>At least Fluttershy is more understanding, her form a neutral witness. Big Mac, Applejack, and Rarity ignore the commotion and stick to their duties.

>So that’s why Pinkie said no wings or horn. Well it’s no big deal; you can sit on your hind legs when you need to ‘talk’ with Anon.
>Actually, if you were trying to take Anonymous somewhere, such as into town, that would be highly impractical.
“Okay, I see your point. And wut ehxactuly are yuu suggesting we do?”
>”I already told you silly. Do what you did before.”
“But—“
>”Give Nony some credit, Twilight.”

>She…what?! You were the one who was telling them how smart it was!
>The nerve of that poofy maned, irrational, oblivious, inattentive mare!
“Now lhisten here, Pinkie. It’s nhot about wut Anun knows; it’s about wut whe know concerning it.”
>Your slightly defensive argument breaks the attention of those still cleaning, but it totally wasn’t an outburst no matter how much your throat has started hurting.
>The clatter of porcelain abandons the sink, and Rarity enters the budding circle. Clearing her throat, she quite literally pushes herself into the conversation.
>”I believe what Pinkie is suggesting, in her own special way, is to let Anonymous share some of the work. Isn’t that right?”


>”I’m saying Nony would know more if Twi—“
>A white hoof swiftly seals the sputtering pink lips. Fluttershy tentatively moves to provide some additional cover.
>”I-I wouldn’t go that far, bbut it would be nice if we could talk to Anon easier. I-I mean that wouldn’t be so bad, right?”

>Were they even listening? Don’t they realize the weight of each change? Every action has an opposite and equal reaction! Fluttershy, of all ponies, should understand the problems you face.
>A strange yet familiar warmth travels down your spine.
>”One sec Big Mac.”
>Applejack quickly jogs over and parks next to you.
>”Easy there, sugarcube. No one’s doubtin’ ya or sayin’ it’d be easy. Let’s start simple and see how it goes.”
>”Aww, I wanted to see if she’d burst into flames again.”
>You cast a glare at Dash.
>”I’m just rustling your feathers.”
>Hmph! You weren’t really about to blow up, figuratively and literally speaking. Those embers were some little hot spots.
>Alright, you are a little mad, and rightly so. Pinkie needs to think before she speaks!

>Mentally reorganizing Pinkie’s words in a less offensive manner, you let the bad feelings flow out with a heavy puff of air. The idea is worth a shot. Celestia always told you it was good to at least try.
“Fine.”
>Start simple. You were able to teach Anonymous its name in equestrian with one word. The problem signs are only yes and no, and there is already a pony equivalent perfect for them.
>Resting your flank on the floor you calmly begin.
[Me]; (family) (family); [Pinkie Pie],
>Single-minded in your approach, you decisively nod your head,
[Yes].
>Everypony studies your motions and then turns to watch Anon. Its sight has never left you, and the lack of an immediate response stirs your pessimism.
>Again.


[Me]; (family) (family); [Pinkie Pie],
>Nodding your head, you also go to make the Yes/ Same signal. As you raise your front hooves Anon’s head and arms move in tandem with yours. Still focused solely on the process, your body practically finishes the action on its own. An echoing bang matching yours tingles inside your ears.
[Yes].
>[Yes].

>Your brain logs the data, but shuts down all emotion. There may very well be progress, but you cannot celebrate yet. There is still much to do, and the results need to be verified.
>Another try at the same sentence with only nodding and Anonymous does both forms of yes. Whether it uses both does not matter; the important thing is that it recognizes the nod. From here on out you will not use any other yes answer.
>A new and previously undefined sentence.
[Table]; (family) (family); [Chair]; [Yes].
>And to verify.
[Table]; (family) (family); [Chair]; [Yes] [No].
>Although you have to use the crossing of forelimbs for ‘No/ Different’ Anonymous chooses yes despite the more familiar sign. This clinches it!

>Pressing onwards, you repeat the process to establish shaking your head as ‘no’.  It takes an extra repeat of the sentence for Anonymous to grasp the translation and it continues to do both versions. Things have just been made a bit easier for everybody.
>For being filies, the smiles on the crusaders faces show that even they are aware of what is happening. Rarity wears a small smirk and her eyes wave away. Rainbow maintains her semi-aloof ploy, but you can see the niggling interest in her stare. Applejack’s expression gently flickers.
>”Well Ah’ll be.”
>Your left ear twitches and catches a jolly grunt from Granny. Big Mac turns his head around for a short peek.
>Fluttershy rubs against Anon while the smuggest of grins worms its way on Pinkie’s face.
>”That’s very good.”
>”Go on, Twilight. You can do it.”


>That wasn’t too bad, but next you need to tackle conveying friends. What body language do ponies already use that Anonymous may be familiar with? What have you used previously?
>As you watch Fluttershy brush against Anon a spark of an idea emerges. Recalling your own previous experiments provides fuel, and soon you have a glowing light bulb.
>Before the two of you first developed an understanding your soft nudges to steer it along were playfully countered. In order to try and make up for your mistake you used your snout to push the cinnamon bun to Anonymous in a show of affection. Shortly thereafter you guided its hand along your mane with the tip of your nose, and then had Fluttershy and Pinkie do the same.
>You’ve already been trying to express the message.
“Pinkie, are yuu thinking wut Ay’m thinking?”
>”I think so, but balancing a family and a career ... oooh, it's all too much for me.”
>This mare.

>Ignoring her oddities, you march right up to her. Being sure to have Anon’s attention, you raise a hoof and boop Pinkie on the nose.
“Peenkey.”
>She stands there as happy as can be, unflinching from your touch. Removing your hoof, you boop your own nose.
“My.”
>You smile back at her goofy face. She may lack tact, but she is the best cheerleader you’ve ever had.
>Nuzzling against her, you rest your head as your necks cross.
“Fhriend.”
>You can no longer see Anonymous, but you feel Pinkie nod.

>After the short lull, you break away and look to Anon. It has a hand planted on Fluttershy’s mane, though keeps its focus towards you.
“Did it wurk?”
>There is a mumble here or there, but no pony speaks up. Expecting a definitive result from a single example may be a touch unrealistic.
>That’s okay; you have found a tool to work with. Time to establish a definition!


>You first aim at Pinkie, and then yourself. Next, you mimic nuzzling by rolling your head in the air. Finally, you give a nod.
[Pinkie]; [Me]; (friend/ important pony); [Yes].
>Drumming up from your deep well of knowledge, you pick out the three ponies you think would best express the concept to Anon.
[Applebloom]; [Sweetie Belle]; [Scootaloo]; (friend/ important pony); [Yes].

>Anonymous bites its lip and it removes its hand from Fluttershy in order to physically follow along.
>You’re not done yet. You can clear up those earlier misconceptions.
[Applebloom]; (family); [Applejack]; [Yes].
[Applebloom]; [Applejack]; (friend/ important pony); [Yes].
[Scootaloo]; (family); [Rainbow Dash]; [No].
[Scootaloo]; [RainbowDash]; (friend/ important pony); [Yes].
[Me]; [Anonymous]; (friend/ important pony); [Yes] [No].
>You dare, oh how you dare.

>Anonymous is right behind you for the whole of the explanatory path. Its comprehension is questionable, but you have mixed old with new and provided a hopefully steady pattern.
>You hold out for an imaginary buzzer, anxiously waiting to be judged. Will you be the winner or loser of this round?
>A solution forms on Anon’s face; its contemplative features leaving to make way for a grin, and most importantly a nod.
>Thud, thud.
>[Yes].

>The mental blockage of your emotions relents, and absolutely pours happiness. It’s like there’s a sonic rainboom firing off in your head.
>You cling to the nearest pony and squeeze, who happens to be the initial instigator.
>The top half of Pinkie inflates like a balloon as you give the hug everything your bandaged body can. A lone festive note squeaks out of her along with the rest of the air in her body.
>You’re in the clear, Anon’s not upset with you! You have to reply immediately!
>Relenting in your grip, the bulbous end of Pinkie drops and switches places with the other until evening out.
[Anonymous]; [Me]; (friend/ important pony); [Yes].


>Overwhelmed by the flood of your triumph, you then giggle into your hoof.
“It really is like ah ghame of…noh…”
>With that same smug smirk the blue eyes framed by poof nods.
“Now?”
>”You pROMised~”

>Rainbow Dash starts laughing while Rarity whispers to Applejack.
>”Aw, horseapples. We did, didn’t we?”
>Fluttershy becomes a statue of realization. You’d feel more sympathetic if you weren’t stuck in as well.
>Scootaloo pokes Rainbow Dash.
>”What’s so funny?”
>”Just a game of charades.”
>Applebloom and Sweetie combine adorable pleading powers.
>“Can we play?”
>The manipulative mastermind keeps her harmless disguise.
>”Of course, games are always fun with more ponies. Big Mac and Granny can play too.”
>”That’s quite awright, you youngin’s have your fun. Ol’ Granny will finish with the dishes then watch from her rocker. Big Mac’ll join.”
>The red stallion missteps and the current plate plunks back into the water.
>”Are you going to play Big Mac?”
>”Eee—“
>Applebloom jumps down from her seat and zips to her brother.
>“Please, please, please? It’s been ayges.”
>”—yup.”
>The party leader stands on her hind legs and waves a forelimb through the air towards the door.
>”To the living room!”

“Hold it.”
>She may be sneaky, but you always pay attention to the details.
“Anunymuus nhever prhomised.”
>”Hehe, you’re right. How silly of me. Hey Nony, do you wanna—“
“Pinkie.”
>Your voice was firm and resolute; stern and authoritative. Your tone cuts her shenanigans down to size, and makes it clear you are the one to make that call.
>You visually circle the room, examining the collected weary and eager faces. Anonymous appears too caught up in Pinkie’s bounciness to be falling asleep soon. With a long breath, you come to your decision.
>Oh, she’ll get her game alright, but she’s not getting it for free.


“Anunymuus can play,”
>Several squees strikes your ears
“IF yuu help around the farm for the wheek.”
>Pinkie mulls over the idea with many different ‘hmmms.’ She sits down to think to the point you almost swear she is purposefully drawing it out. She then blindly snaps out of it.
>“Okay.”
>To the living room it is then.

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Posted in Thread 967
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>Offering Anon a smile, you try to pick them up with your magic. In response they go limp and become nothing but dead weight.
 ‘Come on you, we’re just going to the other room.’
>Your strained efforts are futile; Anonymous is as heavy as a sack of potatoes. A wild cackle comes from Granny Smith.
>”That there’s a ‘no’ if I’ve ever seen one. Big Mac, why don’t ya lend her a hoof?”
>Big Mac’s head shoots up to its full height and stares at Granny.
>”Git along now, ya gotta get up early tomorra.”

>After a few cautious steps Mac picks up his regular stride and advances upon the chair. He rounds the back and Anonymous swings around to face the newcomer; its watchful eyes almost daring the dutiful stallion.
>From your angle the wooden bars of the chair encase Anon like a cage or cell. Warden and prisoner square off; silently peering into the other.
>Big Mac breaks the standoff and looms over the top support. Pressing his mouth to the rim, he bites down and pulls.
>The chair tips backwards and Anonymous clings to the railings. The sound of wood scrapping along the floor follows the duo, but there is also another sound.
>A rough and tumble murmur churns out all the way to the living room. The noise echoing the time Pinkie and Anonymous shared the spoon.
>With your own smile, you follow everyone into the living room.


>When Big Mac lets go Anon gets down from its seat and drags the chair back into the kitchen; the sound never stopping. Big Mac follows, and when he starts to pull again the laughter intensify.
>Their play continues while everyone else settles in. Pinkie stands with her easel at the ready; where she was hiding it you may never know. Since she said you would be on her team you sit nearby.
>Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy have apparently broken off into a team already. Rarity and Applejack make up another while the crusaders stick together.
>The presence of the foreign laughter is carried into the room again. When Anon steps down this time you tug with your magic and bring them to you.
‘That’s enough of that.’

>With you handling Anon, Big Mac looks over the teams from the edge of the room.
>”You can join us, dear.”
>”Two apples are better than one.”
>Rarity and Applejack wave him over, bumping the team to three. Rainbow elbows her partner.
>”They’ll need the help. Team Pegasus gots this.”
>Scootaloo moans to her friends.
>”I should be on that team.”
>”Bein’ a crusader outranks type-a-pony”
>”We’re sure to win since we have one of each, and we might even get our cutie marks.”
>”In what?”
>”Uh, miming?”
>”Pass.”

>Grabbing her marker with her mouth, Pinkie creates a sloppy grid for a scoreboard. She then turns to face the group.
>”Now we all need team names.”
>Two of the three on the far end zealously shout while the third mutters in unison.
>”Team Cutie Mark Crusaders!”
>Rainbow also answers without pause, leaving her partner quiet.
>”Team Pegasus.”
>Rarity, Applejack and Big Mac are less prepared.
>”What should our team name be?”
>”Team Appl—“
>Rarity’s features tighten.
>”No, I guess not.”
>”It needs to be something with class, pizzazz, style and oomph. Something that shouts ‘vvVictory’.”
>A juvenile voice chimes in from the sidelines.
>”You can be Team Horse.”


>Rarity and Applejack fix Rainbow a dirty look and Big Mac lets out a disgruntled huff. Pinkie simply starts writing.
>”That is NOT going to be our team name.”
>”Ya got some nerve.”
>”Hmph”
>Stepping out of the way, Pinkie shows her handiwork.
>”Pinkie, I demand you remove that from the board.”
>”If you can gimme a name in 5 seconds I’ll change it.”
>The group stumbles and huddles up.
>”1”
>Big Mac opens his mouth but so does Applejack.
>”2”
>Both back off to let the other go, keeping them distracted and the silence strong.
>”3”
>Rarity whispers and complains through numerous ideas for soon to be team horse.
>”4”
>Rainbow’s going to surely be paying for this one in the near future. If only she thought more than two seconds ahead.
>”4 and a scoo”
>Scoo?
>”BZZZT!”
>The buzzer jolts the three, who then stare daggers at the neighboring team. Setting their sights back on their comrades, they narrow their eyes and nod.

>”Don’t worry, Twi. I already got a name settled for us.”
>Joy. What did she put?
>‘Top Fun’?
>Smug, smug doesn’t even begin to describe the expression she’s wearing. Her apparent level of self-satisfaction is off the charts.
>”Okie dokie, here are the rules. Just like regular charades, one pony acts out a word and the guessers try to SURPRISE guess. Every team will be going at the same time, and whichever team guesses right first wins the round. Make sure you’re super loud when you win. Then we switch and go again. I’m going to be helping Twilight and Nony so I won’t be playing playing.”
“Helping how?”
>”I’ll worry about what Nony is trying to guess, and will let you know if you’re right when you guess. Just consider me your official interpreter.”
>Well, that solves part of the problem for this little exercise.
>Your pony teammate produces a stack of flashcards out from beneath the sofa and sets them nearby.


>”You can’t use magic, and each team’s cards are different so there won’t be any Cheaty Cheatersons.”
>She grabs another deck from the knitting basket, loveseat cushions, and inside the horn of the phonograph.
>”I need to borrow Non-non for a min-min. We’ll be right back. No peeking~.”
“Where are yuu goin?”
>”To explain the rules, silly.”
>Pulling on one of Anon’s hands, she is able to coax it into Applebloom’s room. The door shuts behind her, leaving you guessing.
>How is she going to accomplish that, and why won’t she let you see? If whatever it is works there is going to be a pink interrogation. You may even dust off some of your old equipment.
>The other teams get busy discussing strategy with the down time. Given your disadvantage that doesn’t exactly seem sporting. Perhaps you can level the playing field a little.

“This es for fun right?”
>”Oh, yeah, fun. Clean, honest, humblin’ fun.”
>”Quite humbling.”
>”No doubt about it; and you know what’s synonymous with fun? Winning. See, I can use big words too.”
 >”Fun and cutiemarks!”
>So much for that idea.

>After a few minutes the door to Applebloom’s room swings open and out emerges Anonymous alone. Before you can call out for Pinkie, she pops up on the sofa standing on her hind legs and wearing a striped shirt.
>”Is everypony ready for the first annual no holds bars charades cage match extraordinaire of the century?!”
“Doesn’t annual imply—“
>”It does!”
>She’s already latched onto the idea, and the rest are filled with competitive stares. No use wasting your breath.
>”First round is about to begin, actors to the front!”
>Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Applebloom stand by the fireplace. Pinkie leans in and whispers while giving Anonymous a marker and some paper.
>”That’s you, Twilight.”
>Oh.

>Taking your position, you read your card. Butterfly.
>”Round One. Fight!”


>Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly. Wings!
>You lazily flap and indicate your wings. Next you push your front hooves together as if compressing a small box. Anonymous starts drawing and Pinkie stays focused on the paper while shouting.
>”Dot, bigger dot, fly, housefly, bird, fly, small fly, small fry, funny sandwich.”
>Funny sandwich? Um, butter, butter…
>You point at Fluttershy.

>”Lady bug, circle, pegasus, horsefly, chicken wing?”
>That didn’t help, and the opposition is getting louder.
>Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo’s guesses are as consistent as Pinkie’s. You can barely hear Fluttershy over the commotion while Big Mac hasn’t said a thing yet.
>You can still win this round. What else are butterflies known for?
>Butterfly: Rhopalocera. Butterflies are winged insecta that feed on nectar and pollen. This makes them important to plants as pollinators. Nectar is a sugar rich—
>”Birthday cake!”
>”Yes!”
>The crusaders cheer signaling their win. Status of first word: unfair.

>The guesses come to a stop and Pinkie merrily adds a tally to the scoreboard. Meanwhile, team Horse and Pegasus reconvene.
>”Applejack, I have no idea what you were trying to do.”
>”It was wagon. Ah was pullin’ a wagon. How’d neither of ya get that? Twas plain as day.”
>”Thought it was a plow.”
>”We’ll get the next one. More importantly you-know-who didn’t win either.”
>You-know-who is giving her own pep talk.
>”Alright, so they got this round. That’s okay; we’re just giving ourselves a handicap. Gotta let the kids have their fun, right Fluttershy?”
>”I-if you say so.”

>”What was our word, Twilight?”
“Butterfly.”
>”Oooooh.”
>Pinkie draws on Anon’s paper before hopping back onto the couch.
>”In a tasty upset team Cutie Mark Crusaders take the first round. Time for round two; players switch positions!”


>Returning to your spot you look at the paper. A lot of the drawings are small specks with wings, some being circled or crossed out. Most are pretty standard except for one in particular; a single long tube with what seems like pectoral fins and a dorsal fin on the tail.
>Is this the sandwich? Is it some sort of bird?

>Rarity and Sweetie Belle head on up without hassle, but Fluttershy needs some convincing. Pinkie grabs the next card and takes Anon into Applebloom’s room again.
>”Un memento.”
>Appears this is going to be a reoccurring thing; best get comfy. You would make small talk while you wait, but everyone is sticking to their group. After another few minutes the pair joins the three actors. Abandoning the black and white outfit for her pure pink self, Pinkie stands beside Anonymous and raises a hoof.
>”Readyyyy, steadyyyyy, Go!”
>Her hoof slices through the air. Anon springs its arms out in front and starts walking with large lumbering steps; exaggerated well beyond your previous calculations.
>Stiff, rigid, slow…drawing a blank here.
“Animated statue, golem, hydra.”
>Your interpreter endlessly shakes her head.

>Something bipedal with pillar-like limbs?
“Dragon, possessed armor, z-zombie?”
>As you continue rattling off ideas Pinkie’s “no’s” sway and bob to an invisible rhythm. Think quickly, it’s only a matter of time until—
>”Hollow.”
>”Correct.”
>Big Mac gives a satisfied nod as Rarity pips with slight energy. Applejack fiddles with her hat.
>”How’d ya get that from…whatever that was?”
>”Six letter word fer empty.”
>”Plain as day.”

> Rainbow echoes the groan.
>”Fluttershy, you have to actually move for me to guess.”
>”I did, really. It was just, um, subtle.”
>”Charades isn’t about subtle; it’s about being intense and wild. You need to emphasize.”
>”Emphasize. Okay.”
>”Watch me closely this round. We’re far from beat.”


>Sweetie reunites with her friends.
>”If we could use magic this would be easier.”
>”Then Twilight would win every round.”
>”And no magic is fairer for everypony.”
>”But Scootaloo gets to use her wings.”
>”You can flap your hooves. I can’t make sparks fly out of my butt.”
>Crude. You’ll need to talk with her role model.

>Anonymous keeps going with the charade until Pinkie signs no and wipes a hoof across her neck. It then makes a deep hum.
“What was the word, Pinkie?”
>”Mummy.”
>Status of second word: unfairer.

>Your turn again along with Big Mac, Rainbow Dash, and Scootaloo.
>For your next performance you will be…a tree. Lovely.
>”Round three sounds good to me. Everypony ready? Go, fo, sho.”
>Despite the buzzer you do not make a move as you contemplate your options, the irony of your inaction in regards to the task lost on you.  The nearest contestant is a relative mirror of yourself, contradicted by the two at the far end madly flailing about.
>A tree huh? Your house is a tree. Wait, Anonymous wouldn’t know where you live.
>Birds make their homes in trees; maybe you can use your wings again? Slim pickings; trees don’t do much beyond standing around being tall unless you want to try and act out photosynthesis.
>”Rock, dirt, mountain, hill, boulder.”
>Better begin.

>Stretching out your wings you examine the canopy of feathers flanking your sides. With a gentle flap the tips rustle from the makeshift breeze.
>Snagging the thought, you walk to the abandoned chair. No magic.
>Chomping down on the end similar to Big Mac, you bring it to the front. Spinning away from Anonymous, you put one front hoof onto the base and then the other. Propping yourself as high as possible, you slowly spread your wings and bow your head; the solid purple leaves rocking at your command.
>”Statue, wall, cape, line, double line, pillar, cloud, candy stick, tree.”
“That’s it!”


>Dropping to all fours, you spin around to face your teammates and share your bright expression.
“You got it. It was tree.”
>You nod to Anonymous, and buck up on your hind legs to represent the tree again. Without the aid of the chair, you do not last more than a second or two.
>Anon lets out elated grumbles in a low key. It also bangs a hand against its chest and makes a pair of new gestures. You nod again, ears pressed, with Pinkie following your lead. Your team aced this test.
>The rest of your friends do not appear to hear the sound over their own conferences.
>“Woohoo! Round three goes to Top Fun! The night is still young, and it’s anypony’s game.”

>Throughout the night the scores rise along with the moon and stars. Reading the chaotic scoreboard is not easy, but you make due.
Top Fun: 1
Team Horse: 4
Team Pegasus: 3
Cutie Mark Crusaders: 6
>Not the closest, but you have already exceeded your expectations. You and Anon have a point, and the fun was seeping into you. However, it is getting kind of late; Granny has already fallen asleep in her chair. Considering when everyone has to wake up they’ll need as many hours as possible.
“We should probably wrap up here.”
>In a change of events you are the one shocking Pinkie. Applejack lets out a bear sized yawn, and the rest of the ponies check the windows.
>”So soon?”
“YOU have a big day tomorrow.”
>”Ay reckon your right, let’s call it a night.”
>The scale tips in your favor, but Rainbow counters.
>”After this last round.”
>Despite her love of sleep she doesn’t seem willing to give up yet. Rarity’s own concern swings the advantage.
>”We really do need to get home.”
>Pinke slides in next to Dash, then hooks the crusader and pulls them in presenting a horde of begging faces. You look to Rarity and she does the same. After a short pause she shrugs with a smirk.
“One more round.”


>Rainbow does a hoof pump then nudges Fluttershy.
>”You heard her, we have one more shot.”
>The teams prepare for the grand finale, and you take your spot by the sofa since you’ll be guessing.
>”Okay everypony, time for the final round of the First Annual No Holds Bars Charades Cage Match Extraordinaire of the Century! This one is for all the marbles! ”
>You got this.
>”GO!”

>Anonymous throws an arm over its shoulder and then casts it forwards. The fist is held in place while their free hand joins the fist and starts to spin clockwise.
>Hmm. If you imagine the arm as an essence of magic it is sort of similar to how unicorns in the guard would sling javelins. However, the circular motions don’t mix with that.
>Anonymous repeats the lunge and resumes spinning.
>What would an earth or pegasus pony be doing in this situation? If they threw something, what would they need to achieve without magic?
>Another fling.
>They would have to bring it back; to reel it in.
“Fishing po—“
>”Grilled cheese.”
>”That’s it! We win, we win!”
>Drats.
>”Awww come on!”
>And there’s the not-so-rare sonic complainboom down the way.

>Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo dance around in celebration and Pinkie tallies the scores. Rainbow hovers by Fluttershy without a peep. Two of the three members on Team Horse are right there waiting for her.
>”Tough luck, ya might have got us if given an extra few days.”
>“It certainly was close, who knew randomly shouting could work.”
>”Pfft, you had one more player and you guys only came in second.”
>”Beat ya.”
>Fluttershy joins the battle, but stays on the sidelines.
>”We each did our best, and everyone had fun. Maybe next ti—“
>Rainbow grabs Fluttershy and brings her to the frontline.
>”Fluttershy’s right, we’ll win the rematch for sure.”
>”Yer on.”
>”T-that’s not exactly what I was…“
>Fluttershy’s voice drifts to nothingness between the rivalries.


>Ignoring the rest of the bickering, you meet up with Anonymous while Pinkie deciphers her own chicken scratch.
>Watching your approach, Anonymous speaks in a quiet grunt and performs the cast once more.  You levitate paper and marker to you and draw a fishing rod complete with hook and sinker. You also circle the image so that it stands out.
>Presenting the paper to Anonymous, it locks onto your doodle.
>[Yes]
>So close.

>”Carry the one, plus the stick figure, subtract the smile, wait you never subtract the smile silly me… Ah-HA! It is my pleasure to announce that team Cutie Mark Crusaders win the FANHBCCMEotC!”
>Each crusader raises a hind leg to check their flank. Sorry girls, still blank.
>”I think I’m fine without this cutie mark.”
>”Yeah.”
>Applebloom and Sweetie reply to Scootaloo together. Rarity cuts in on their trained yet apathetic ceremony.
>”Well done, you three are rather good at this. I wonder why that is?”
>Insinuation is laced within her tone, and her teasing eyes accompany a devilish grin. Sweetie Belle flings herself in front of the non-verbal spear; her defense a wide and naïve smile.
>”Just a gift I suppose.”
>”Yes, that must be it. Anyway, we must be going; we need to be well rested for tomorrow.”

>”I can help too…if you want.”
>”That’s alright, you don’t have ta if you don’t want to. We got more than enough help to get by.”
>”Now Applejack, you shouldn’t turn down a friend’s gracious offer. We’ll see you bright and early, dear.”
>”O-okay. I’ll have Mr. Owl wake me.”
>Well that was nice of her. If you could you would offer too, but you have princess duties to attend to; not to mention the fuss at least two of them would make over your condition.
>There will be another chance. No worries.


>”Bright and early. Fun.”
>The mix of sarcasm and tiredness is already causing Rainbow to sound dead on her hooves. Rarity chimes in with her unique form of therapy.
>”You did want the extra round. Be sure not to stay up too much longer; I’ll be expecting you same as this morning. And if you don’t show...”
>”Yeah, yeah. I’m leaving same as you.”
>Rarity herds Sweetie and Scootaloo to the door.
>”We will see you all in the morning. Come along Scootaloo, I’ll walk you home.”
>Rainbow and Fluttershy join Rarity while Pinkie rushes to get her easel.
>”Wait for me.”
>With the item precariously balanced on her back Pinkie torpedo’s to the group. After exchanging goodbyes the six head home. For a little while you can still hear their chitchat.
>”Wanna play a bonus round on the way?”
>”Don’t you think we’ve played enough for one day?”
>”Nope. I’ve been practicing, but only Nony got to see my acting. It’s reeeeally good~”
>”And whose fault is that?”
>”Yours.”
>”What?”
>”Leave everything to me, you just have to guess.”

>Well at least one pony still has some energy left.
>With the company finally gone, your hosts also get ready to turn in. Big Mac finds a nearly finished quilt in one of the sewing baskets and drapes it over Granny Smith’s lap. Applejack strategically blocks Applebloom from Anonymous.
>”Time fer bed Applebloom, and no midnight crusadin’ ya hear.”
>”Apple-promise.”
>”Ya need anything, Twi?”
“Ay left the blankets Anon was using in the barn. If it is not too much trouble could you get those?”
>”Sure.”
>Applejack tags out with Big Mac and heads out the door while Big Mac steers Applebloom to her room.
>”Night.”
>”Goodnight Twilight, Anonymous.”
“Gudnight.”


>Which leaves Anonymous and yourself. Given that Anon is a tiny bit taller you’ll set them on the sofa and take the loveseat. You tap the floor twice for their attention.
>After pointing to Anonymous you lay down and pretend to sleep, then point at the sofa. You do the same for you and the loveseat.
>[No]
[Yes]
>[No]
[Yes]
>[Candy]
[No]
>[Yes]
[No]
>[No]
[Ye-] ‘Oh no you don’t.’
>You stomp a hoof and puff yourself up.
[No]; [Candy]; [Yes]; [Sleep]
>Anonymous sticks out its tongue, but drops the subject. As soon as the front door opens the tongue retreats.

>”Got the blankets. Ya’ll alright with just these?”
“Thnks, this is enuff.”
>”If ya say so. Don’t worry ‘bout Granny, she’ll wake up at some odd hour. Night Twi.”
“Gudnight Ahppuljack.”
>You divide the blankets, taking one for yourself and placing the rest on the sofa. Applejack gives a final peek then moseys to her room.
>”Night critt-Anonymous.”
>Darkness claims the room as the last of the lights goes out. You watch the sofa, trying to stay awake until Anon falls asleep. However, you close your eyes for a tad too long and can’t say who fell first.