Gaming with Button's Mum's Son

>Be Button's mum
>You started dating this tall, handsome guy, Anon
>You've had a few dates with him after you met at work
>He's not like the other stallions, and he's always treated you well
>You really think you've got a chance together
>Today's a big day. You've invited him round for dinner and to meet your son, Button Mash
>Although he's promised you to be on his best behaviour, you're still a little worried
>Both of them are important to you, and you hope they can get along
>You've got a nice meal planned, one of Button Mash's favourites
>As you rush around the house, Button sits in the front room, playing his favourite game...

>A few hours later, there's a knock at the door
>You take a moment to make sure you look presentable in front of the mirror, before opening the door and welcoming Anon
>He's looking dapper as always in his suit
>He pulls out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back, and you eagerly accept the with a kiss
>You invite him and show him into the living room, where Button's still playing
>You introduce the two of them to one another, and though Anon seems friendly, you're not sure Button likes him
>He was embarrassed you were dating a non-pony, but you hope that tonight he'll see what a wonderful person Anon is
>After a few moments of making sure Anon's settled, you excuse yourself to the kitchen
>You hope giving them some time to bond will be a good thing...

>Be Button
>You can't believe your mum invited this Anon guy into your house
>You've always hated it when she tries to date again, the ponies she picks are always really boring, or nasty to you
>They never have time for you, and you're scared they're going to steal your mum away from you
>She's the only family you have, and don't want to lose her
>Especially not to some loser alien thing
>You continue playing your game, almost ignoring the man outright as he sits and watches you in silence for a while
>Eventually, once you've almost forgotten he's there, he speaks
So, what you playing there, Button?
>You give an exasperated sigh
>Great, another adult pretending to be interested in your hobby just to make you like them
>"It's 'Call of Pony: Modern Ponyfare 6: Attack on Pony: Chapter Four- Rise of the Pony'"
>"I'm playing online"
>Anon gives a confused noise
Why the hell is called that? That makes no sense. What does Ponyfare even mean? And why is that name so crazy long?
>You knew he wouldn't understand.
>"It's really fun, there are two teams, diamond dogs and ponies, and you have to fight"
>Out the corner of your eye you see Anon give a slight shrug
Looks pretty cool. Reminds of me of an FPS I played a while ago
>Oh great, he's looked up some gaming terms to try to seem cool to you
>You've seen this before. Any second now...
Mind if I have a go? Promise I won't mess up your K:D
>...yep. There it is. You know your mum will be upset if you don't let him have a go, so with an exaggerated sigh, you hand over the controller
>You'll let him embarrass himself, then take over and try to repair the damage
>Anon goes to the class setup screen.
>He runs through your preset classes, and gives a hum
Hey, mind if I change one of these?
>Eugh, he wants to mess with your classes. You gesture to the top one with a hoof
>"You can change that one, I guess"
>Anon opens it up, and goes to the primary weapon slot
>He scrolls down the weapons, and selects the "Bolt Action Crossbow", muttering slightly under his breath
>You can tell he has no idea what he's doing. The BAC is a long range weapon, and this game is primarily close quarters. It's got an insanely low rate of fire
>The only people who use it are campers, or n00bs who see the big looking crossbow and assume it's powerful because of how it looks
>You almost groan as you see him select the perks
>Sleight of hoof. Steady Aim. Stopping Power. It's like he doesn't understand how to line the perks up with his weapon
>"You do realise that's an awful class. Everypony else will be using one of the light combat cross bows or assault crossbows. They'll porcupine you before you even get a chance to shoot"
Porcupine me?
>You give a snort
>"Uh, yeah. When they fill you full of crossbow bolts because they're just shooting so many at you"
>This time it's Anon's turn to give a snort of disbelief
Only amateurs need more than one shot to kill.
>With that, he changes out the mana grenade for the incredibly weak throwing horseshoe option, and you'd swear you hear him chuckling as he does so, shaking his head slightly
>"Why are you using the horseshoe? They put it in there as a joke!"
Does it kill in one hit?
>"Yeah, but it's ridiculously hard to aim! And it can only kill one enemy, with a grenade you can clear a whole room"
If it's one hit kill, it's fine for me. If I can pick it up after using it, even better
>You groan as finalises the class
>Your K:D is gonna suffer from this.
>He joins a lobby just as the round is finishing. The pony team is full with 12 players, and the diamond dogs have a measly 5 players.
>The best players always go as ponies. Who would want to play as a dog?
>You wait for Anon to join the DD team. The sooner he gets his flank kicked, the sooner you can get back to playing
Hey, Button? Do you have a headset?
>You blink in surprise. You're not sure why he would want to use it if he's just playing with strangers, but you just go ahead and pull it out for him
>He puts it on, and it boots up
Can the other team hear me?
>Eugh. He's probably going to try to talk the other team into not killing him or something lame like that
>That's what the last guy your mum dated tried
>You just nod, a resigned look on your face
>"They will once you join a team"
Ok, good. Listen up Button, this is really important.
The most powerful weapon isn't the crossbow.
>Well duh, it's the double ended staff of infinity
It's not the longbow, the magic grenade. It's not even the weird staff thing that guy just got a triple kill with
>He gestured to the screen, showing scenes of the battle since he's still in spectator mode
The most powerful weapon, Button, is in here
>He points to his head
>You sigh and roll your eyes
>"Oh, sure. It's your intelligence, is it? Or your reflexes? Or is it just talking out your differences?"
>You bet it's that last one. Adults love to try to talk out their problems rather than 1v1'ing on Rust
>Anon just solemnly shakes his head
It's not any of those things Button. The battle is all in the player's head. If you really want to win, you need to throw them off their game.
The most powerful weapon in your arsenal, Button, is trashtalk.
>You raise your eyebrows in surprise. That actually sounds kinda cool
>With that, Anon joins the diamond dogs and spawns in
Look out scrubs... MVP inbound.
>The first thing Anon does is sprint out from the spawn
>He's playing on Caves, a map based in a diamond dog town underground. There are loads of twisting tunnels everywhere, and a few rooms carved out of the rock
>As Anon joins, the last wave of diamond dogs are spawning
>"On no... our pack will go hungry tonight!"
>Anon laughs at the cheesy line, but you already know the diamond dogs don't stand a chance of winning. It's a Push game. They have to capture 3 consecutive points then destroy the ponies' mana hub.
Don't worry kids, global elite here, reporting for duty
>You're not sure what global elite is, but it sounds cool. It elicits a few laughs from the other team
>This map is hard for the diamond dogs. Once the ponies start camping at the first capture point, it's almost impossible to push through
>You watch as Anon runs with the rest of the dogs, then slows down slightly so they all slowly move round a corner
>A single burst of fire from a couple of magical miniguns shred them, and a single line of text is overlaid onto the screen
>"Last dog standing"
>Anon pauses the game quickly
>He goes into settings and opens up the sensitivity option
>He moves the slider all the way up to 10. You normally play on sensitivity 4, and you know how uncontrollable higher ones can be
>Closing the menu, he speaks again
Hey, other team, can you hear me? You're all about to be famous.
>There's a pause, then one of the other team responds
>"Oh yeah, why's that?"
>Anon begins to sprint towards the corner all his team-mates just died at
You're all going to be in my montage video
>With that he jumps around the corner, moving at full speed. He's not even taking it cautiously like a sane player would
>As he's jumping he spins to his left.
>The only problem is that the fire was coming from the RIGHT.
>You groan. He's so, so screwed
>He spins round further and further
>As he's looking back the way he came, he begins to sight down his scope
>The first minigun fire begins, but they're aiming at the corner he came from, and now Anon's in the middle of the tunnel
>As he finally faces the right direction, the scope's just finished zooming in
>It's lined up perfectly with the head of one of the ponies camping this direction
>He fires a single shot, and almost instantly releases the scope
>A little icon pops up in the top corner, indicating Anon just got a headshot kill
>As he pulls back from the scope, there are two more visible enemies
Aw, this party is getting started!
>They're just begin to react to his attack, but he's already scoping down to the second enemy, another huge earth pony with a minigun
>He does the same things as before, sighting down his scope but releasing it almost straight away
>There's another icon as he scores another perfect headshot
>Your mouth is hanging open as Anon yells into the mic
BOOM HEADSHOT. TWO FOR TWO, TWO FOR TWO!
>You expect him to do the same thing to the remaining pony, a pegasus equipped with a light assault crossbow, but instead he starts to stand up
Can he top his 270 from earlier? Time to find out!
>He begins to sprint toward the enemy, straight into oncoming fire, but the pegasus' reactions are too slow, Anon staying just ahead of the stream of fire
>He jumps into the air, and begins spinning
>The pegasus finally starts shooting in the right place, and two of his low calibre shots hit Anon, whose screen reddens around the edges
>You hold your breath as Anon continues his acrobatics
>This time, he does a complete turn in the air before firing
>He doesn't even aim down the sight, but the crossbow bolt hits the pegasus in the chest, downing it instantly
OHHH! THE REPORTS ALL CONFIRM IT: A 360 NOSCOPE!
>Your mouth drops
>He's just used one of the worst weapons in the game to kill camping enemies, and he spent most of his time spinning around
>He reloads as he sprints towards the capture point
>While he's reloading, a unicorn steps out from a stone doorway
>You're about to shout to let Anon know, but he's already seen him
>This has to be it, Anon's in the middle of reloading, he can't shoot
>Anon's had an awesome run, you've got to give him that- you mean, he wasn't bad. Like, he was OK you guess...
>Your line of thought is interrupted as Anon throws out his throwing horseshoe at the unicorn
>You sit up straight as it spins through the air toward the enemy, who's just spotted Anon and is charging up a spell
>"No!"
>You involuntarily shout out as the horseshoe flies over the unicorn's head, missing it
>Anon hasn't stopped running, and doesn't seem to realise that the unicorn is about to blow him away with a powerful magical blast
>But before the unicorn can cast its spell, the horseshoe has rebounded off the door frame behind it, and connects perfectly with the back of the unicorn's head
>Another kill icon pops up
>There's no... Anon couldn't have done that on purpose, could he?!
Aw, c'mon kids. Is this the real game or am I stuck on the tutorial?
>You giggle at his trashtalk
>The other team aren't taking it quite as well
>"You're... you're just lucky, you noob"
>"Yeah, only losers use the bolt action crossbow"
Now, now children. It's just a game, we're all here to have fun!
>He winks at you as the other team goes crazy and start calling him names
>Normally you hate being called names online, but Anon doesn't seem to care
>In fact he's laughing at their angry responses
>In spite of yourself, you laugh along with him. He's... he's doing better than you'd expected
>He collects his horseshoe and continues to sprint for the building housing the capture point
>He ignores the main door, opting to run around the side and climb in through a window
>Running into the main room, he melee kills an enemy that pops out
Oh, sit down, SIT DOWN!
>A tooltip shows you that he's capturing the control point
>He moves into the corner of the room, keeping his gun trained on one of the doors
>Your heart is pounding. If he captures this point, his whole team will respawn and they'll get five more waves.
>There's a door behind Anon, he must have missed it
>"Behind you Anon!"
>He spins around at your words, just in time to see a pegasus rush into the room through the door he overlooked
>Lunging forward, he scores another kill with his combat knife
OH! C'MON KIDS! I CAN DANCE ALL DAY, I CAN DANCE ALL DAY! TRY HITTIN' ME!
>You smile at his words, too tense to actually laugh
>The capture point is almost fully under diamond dog control
>You can feel an adrenaline rush coming on. You've never felt this tense playing the game yourself
>Anon leans away from the mic
Thanks Button, you saved my bacon back there
>You grin at the strange saying
>"Hey, no sweat. Just win!"
>Another pair of enemies try to rush through a different door, but Anon lines up another perfect headshot
>The bolt passes straight through the first enemy and hits the second, killing him too
Oh man, I wish I had some BBQ sauce to go with that tasty collateral!
>The capture point finally turns blue. Anon's done it!
>You give a little cheer
>"That was so awesome Anon! This is intense!"
>He just grins
It's not over yet dude.
>With that, he sprints out of the door, onward toward the next capture point as his team mates respawn behind him
>The enemy team are losing it over their mics, and Anon just shoots you a sly grin and mouths "watch this"
The bots on the enemy team are rubbish. There's no way I would have managed to kill a real player in my first game.
>There's a moment of silence, and then an incoherent scream from one of the opposite team
>Anon continues his massive push, sprinting straight toward the second capture point
>You guess he's trying to get there before the other team has a chance to arrive and get comfortable
Whoa, look out. I'm moving toward B almost as fast as you kids should be moving away!
>The second capture point is in a sort of marketplace, with a load of buildings overlooking it
>As Anon arrives, he crouches in the middle of the stands, and once more the capturing tooltip pops up
>You bite your lip nervously
>Sitting in such an open position is risky
>There are a dozen spots his opponents could pop up from, and there's no way he can cover them all
What's wrong children, not trying to defend B?
>At his words, a unicorn suddenly pops up in one of the windows
>Before the unicorn can even spot Anon amongst the stalls, the expert player's lining up yet another 'quickscope'
>Scoring another perfect headshot, he gives a shout of triumph
>"Sweet shot Anon!"
>You cheer him on, impressed with his skill
>He shoots you a smile, and speaks into his mic:
Come on! At least SOMEONE on your team must be trying!
>There are one or two laughs from his team, but for a moment, the opposition is silent
>Then, with a sudden great cry, all 11 surviving enemies rush out from the surrounding buildings
>Your mum's date pulls his mouth into a frown of concentration, and narrows his eyes
>You doubt he can take on the entire team at once, no matter how good he may be
>It doesn't matter though, you fidget excitedly in anticipation of an impressive firefight
>No matter what happens, you'll be cheering him on!
>Anon hops around the stalls, spinning around and firing shot after shot
My heart's beating, my heart's beating!
>They're falling left and right, the enemies' arcs of fire always a moment too late as Anon skilfully hops all over the market, ducking under stalls and sliding over stands as he mows down the enemy team
My hands are shakin', my hands are shakin'!
>He knifes an enemy, and then gets a horseshoe kill on another as it pops out from around a corner
But I'm STILL SHOOTIN'
>He gets a 360 noscope headshot while jumping off the top off a statue in the centre of the market
AND I'M STILL GETTING THE HEADSHOTS!
>He pops up behind an unsuspecting enemy and shoots them in the back of the head
IT'S LIKE BOOM, HEADSHOT!
>An earth pony's head turns to mush from the high velocity bolt
BOOM, HEADSHOT!
>A pegasus collapses as a bolt hits him between the eyes
BOOM, HEADSHOT~!
>A unicorn shoots over a stall from the force of the heavy shot hitting him in the side of the head
>Anon looks around for another target, but the entire enemy team is lying dead around the market
>He grins at you, taking a moment to catch his breath
>You give a little jump into the air in triumph
>"That was so cool Anon!"
Looks like they need to send more beginners for me to shoot next time, eh kiddo?
>You nod eagerly
>With a ding, the markeplace is finally under diamond dog control
Wow, I need to take care to lift with my legs. Especially since I'm carrying my whole team!
>You're surprise to hear a cheer from the diamond dog team as they spawn in and prepare to push for the final control point...

>Be Button's mum
>You're hustling about in the kitchen, preparing a meal for Anon and your cute little Button
>You were worried when you first heard them shouting, but were happy to see them bonding over a game
>Whatever Anon was shouting, your son was laughing at it
>With a happy smile, you hum a tune as you keep cooking
>You've had a good feeling about Anon when you met him, and now that it sounds like Button likes him, well
>The future's looking that little bit brighter

>Be Button again
>Anon is preparing for the final push
>The last capture point, C, lies down a heavily fortified street
>A single step out into the open would put you straight into the sights of half a dozen waiting enemies
>You doubt even Anon is good enough to pull that off
>A player on the other team, 'PoniPunt420' is yelling into his mic, berating his team and demanding they hold C because
>"... I'm damned if I'm letting this... NOOB ruin my 23 win streak!"
>Anon's just grinning, but you're surprised that he's not saying anything back
>"He's not even using a good crossbow! The BAC sucks!"
Yeah, big weapons are intimidating to people who aren't used to handling them.
>PoniPunt gives a sarcastic laugh
>"Yeah, very good. Someone, ANYONE! KILL HIM!"
>Anon crouches, and begins to skirt around the outside of the map, flanking their fortifications
>The rest of the game, he's just been sprinting straight into combat. You're not sure why he's suddenly changed his tactics, but you watch, completely wrapped up in what's going on
Why don't you 1v1 me Rust?
>Anon sneaks into the back entrance of a building about half way up the street. He moves past the front door, and goes up the stairs to the second floor
>"Yeah? You want to fight me properly? Knives only?"
>He crouches in a corner, watching the stairs from underneath
>If someone came up the stairs, they wouldn't see him at all
>A slight smile on his face, Anon replies
Yeah. Go to the market square. Knife fight me
>There's a moment pause
>"Yeah. Go to the square, and I'll meet you in the middle"
Alright kiddo. Gotta warn you though, you've just signed your own death warrant.
>"Oh, we'll see 69ButtonMash69, we'll see..."
>Anon snorts, and looks at you
Your online name is 69ButtonMash69?
>You blush slightly
>"Uh... yeah, they're just... uh, I just picked random numbers!"
>He gives another chuckle
Sure you did kiddo
>You're about to say something, but stop when you see an enemy move up the stairs, and head over to one of the back windows of the room, aiming a longbow out of it, overlooking the market square
>Anon slowly moves behind the unsuspecting enemy
>"I'm at the square. Where are you?"
>Anon stops right behind his prey
>"I don't see you!"
Oh, that's weird. I see you!
>And with that, he stabs PoniPunt420 in the back
>The player gives yet another yell
>"DAMMIT! YOU'RE RUINING MY K:D!"
It's a game kid, have fun.
>"HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS THERE! YOU'RE CHEATING!"
We agreed knives only, I crushed you at 1v1
>"IT DOESN'T COUNT!"
GG no re
>With that, Anon turns around and sprints for a window at the front of the house, one overlooking the fortified enemy positions
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
>With that, he dives out of the window, right into the middle of a sandbagged pit containing three enemies
>Two are dead by the time he hits the ground, the last one turning just in time to take a horseshoe to the throat
FRAGS FOR THE FRAG THRONE!
>He dashes across the street, moving into cover as he scores another quickscope headshot
>Pushing up the street, he moves from cover to cover, skilfully dispatching enemies before they even get a chance to register that he's there
>This is so awesome! This may be the coolest thing you've seen in your entire life!
>Pretty soon, he's sprinting into the building containing the final capture point
Heeeeeeere's Anonny!
>One of the other players gives a yelp at his call, and tries to flee the building
>Showing no mercy, Anon hits him square in the back with a horseshoe, laughing manically as he then guns down anyone else foolish enough to get in his path
>As the capture tooltip pops up, Anon is joined by several of his team mates who seem to have been inspired by him
Nice of you gentlemen to join me.
>There's little resistance to the capture this time, most of the enemy having fallen back, hunkering down in buildings in anticipation of what comes after Anon caps C
Uh. Button? Does the game end when we capture C?
>You shake your head
>"It goes into last stand mode. They all respawn, and have one more life. Your team have infinite waves, and it's like, to see how long they can survive"
>Anon grins
I wouldn't mind being on their team. Infinite enemies to kill sounds good.
>There are laughs from your team mates, and the enemy team grumble
>"Watch out though Anon, none of them are good like you, they'll just find a building to hide in and and camp the door"
>Anon gives a nod, and there's a ding as the final capture point is under diamond dog control
>The game plays a soundbite: "Aroooo! We have dem ponies on da run! GET 'EM!"
>You and Anon laugh at the silly voice
>He looks around the room, and picks up his throwing shoe
>The rest of his team are standing watching him, waiting for him to take the lead
RANGERS LEAD THE WAY!
>He sprints out from the back of the building, and your team begins mopping up the survivors
>The ones outside are gunned down within the first 15 seconds or so, leaving your team stalking the streets, looking for your prey
Cam-pers~
>Anon stands in the middle of the street
Cam-pers~... Come out to plaaaay~
>There's silence for a moment, and then an enemy sprints at him from a ruined building, the player giving a warcry
>You jump slightly at the sudden noise, and Anon spins around to get yet another kill
>In another minute, there's only one enemy left
>It's the PoniPunt guy from earlier.
>Anon begins heading into the middle of the map, where there's a huge tower attached to a building
>He climbs the tower, and stands at the edge of a balcony on the top, surveying the scene below him
>There are flashes of magic from a building not far away
>The last remaining enemy is just camping in a building, his weapon pointed at the only entrance
>Your team can't get a clear shot since they're getting gunned down the second they poke their head around the door
>Worse still, he's hiding around a corner and the mana grenades can't bounce far enough to get him
>The only window on the building he's in opens onto a courtyard that your team can't get into
>Thought the window is visible from where Anon's standing, the last pony is just out of sight
>Anon takes a deep breath and closes his eyes
>"HAHAH! COME ON NOOBS! LAST MAN STANDING AND I'M KILLING YOU ALL!"
>"WHERE'S YOUR STAR PLAYER NOW? NOT SO TOUGH NOW, EH?"
>Anon takes off his headset
>He looks at you solemnly
Button. I'm going to try an epic manoeuvre. So epic, that it needs some epic trashtalk to go with it.
But I can't manage both alone.
>He holds out the headset to you
It's up to you, Button.
>You take it from him nervously
>"I dunno Anon, I've never trashtalked before! What do I do? What should I say?!"
>Anon silences you with a wave of his hand
All trashtalk comes from within. I believe in you, Button. You'll know what to say when the time is right.
>Anon believes in you?!
>You narrow your eyes and pull a determined grin
>"Let's do this!"
>With that, Anon takes a moment to calm himself, his eyes closed
>PoniPunt420 is still yelling defiantly through the TV
>After a few seconds of stillness, Anon's eyes burst open, and he begins to move...
>Anon takes a step forward, and jumps into the air, beginning to spin
>A lightning bolt of inspiration hits you. You know PoniPunt is about to die...
>You should let him know too
>"rip PoniPunt"
>As you speak, Anon spins at break-neck speeds
>Once
>Twice
>He's reached his peak and is starting to fall now, pulling back his arm and readying the throwing shoe
>Thee times, and he's still going
>You hold your breath
>He's going to die falling from this height, but can he make it worth it?
>As he comes around for his fourth full turn, he releases the horseshoe, which arcs off gracefully over the buildings
>Your eyes widen
>He's thrown it at too low an angle! It's spinning straight towards a flat roof in front of the building
>A split second later it's out of sight as the ground rushes up to meet you
>Anon drops the controller, and spreads his arms, his eyes closed
I am ready!
>You start to giggle at his antics, but you can't help but feel a little disappointed
>Your mind goes blank when Anon's character suddenly stops falling, moments away from hitting the ground as the screen fades to greyscale and the victory noise plays
>In the top corner, a single icon indicated Anon made the shot
>PoniPunt lets out a roar of disbelief, but soon joins the rest of the server in mute silence as the round winning killcam plays...
>You watch, lost in the replay as Anon repeats his jump, then the quadrouple spin
>This time, as the horseshoe arcs over the buildings, the camera follows it, giving you the chance to see what actually happened
>As the shoe arcs gently toward the roof, something clicks inside you
>It's like your entire life has been leading up to this purpose
>"R"
>The shoe skims off the roof and keeps going, its trajectory taking it straight toward the window
>"E"
>It bounces off the window frame, and continues onwards
>"K"
>It spins through a doorway, heading straight toward the back of PoniPunt's head
>"T"
>The weapon connects with the back of his skull, just as his horn is lighting up
>The entire server watches in shocked silence as his horn dims and the last enemy crumples to the ground, dead
>"Rekt."
>The server erupts into chaos
>There are shouts of disbelief, cheers of joy, and you'd swear you hear one player shouting for his mom to get a camera
>There's a notification as PoniPunt420 leaves the lobby
>Anon looks over to you, a smug grin on his face
Not bad, kid. Not bad at all
>"You weren't too bad yourself... for an adult, I mean"
>He holds out his fist to you, and you eagerly bump it with your hoof
>That was so cool. A 1440 double rebound horseshoe headshot
>The players on the sever begin chanting
>"Button-Mash! Button-Mash! Button-Mash!"
>You grin, swelling with pride, and Anon triumphantly leaves the lobby. He puts down the controller, and you begin to recover
>That was pretty intense, you feel like you spent most of that game on an adrenaline high!
>You grin at Anon. Time to see if he can take it as well as he dishes it out
>"Hey, Anon? Actually, your trashtalking wasn't that great. It probably made the enemy fight BETTER from how bad it was!"
Oh, kiddo! You've done done it now. You ready to enter a world of pain?
>"I dunno... it YOUR MUM ready to enter a world of pain?"
My momma? Yo mama's so fat, she...
>There's the sound of someone clearing their throat from the other side of the room
>Anon blinks. The two of you turn around to see your mum stood in the doorway
>"Go ahead Anon, finish what you were saying"
>She's got a playful grin on her face an Anon desperately back pedals
I, uh, Button, yo mama so FAST, you know, just. She's really FAST. That's what I, uh... said...
>Your mum laughs and walks over to Anon, cutting him off with a kiss
>Eugh, gross!
>"I came to tell you two dinner's ready. I saw your winning kill Anon, not too bad."
>She looks him in the eye, a slight blush to her face
>"How about you 1v1 me later?"
>Anon grins
I think it'd be a long, hard match.
>She hits him playfully and turns around, heading to the dining room
>You know your mum's pretty good at games, but you can't imagine she's a match for Anon
>Getting up with Anon, you follow her through
>"Hey, can I watch you two play later? I want to try and pick up some of Anon's techniques"
>You don't know why, but your mum freezes, and goes a little red
>Anon just bursts out laughing
>Man...
>Adults are weird.


>"... and then Anon was like, "I see you!", and then he like, stabbed this guy in the back..."
>You listen to your son with a smile on your face as he breathlessly tells you all about the match he just played with Anon
>"... and then he jumped out the window and he shot two more guys, and he was like "BLOOD FOR ME!" or something like, I don't really remember, but then he said it and killed another guy and then..."
>He pauses to quickly swallow a mouthful of food before continuing
>"And then he captured C! But wait, no, before that he got another really awesome kill where he like, span around one way, then span the other and shot! No, wait that was a different one. I'll tell you about that later. Anyway..."
>You tune out the stream of sound, and look over to Anon
>Things couldn't have gone better. It seems like Button really likes Anon, and you get the feeling that Anon is enjoying being idolised.
>He's got a bemused grin on his face, but notices you looking at him
>You give a little roll of your eyes at Button's ongoing story
>Anon's grin just widens
Hey, Button? Why don't you tell your mum about the winning kill again?
>Button's eyes light up, and you sigh inwardly
>Before he can begin telling it, you cut him off
>"Sorry Hun, but why don't we talk about something else for a bit?
>You've already heard this story over dinner tonight. Three times. AND you saw it in person anyway
>He looks a little put out
>Aw, he's so cute when he's grumpy.
>You know just the thing to take his mind off it
>"Button, have you asked Anon where he works?"
>Button gives a slightly blank look and shakes his head before turning to Anon, who continues eating in silence, pretending he didn't hear.
>After a few seconds of Anon not responding, Button asks him directly
>"Anon, where do you work?"
>Anon slowly finishes chewing his mouthful and swallows
Well. It's not really very exciting. Just office work really.
>Button looks disappointed
>You wait for Anon to elaborate, but he's teasing Button
>"Anon, tell Button what your company actually does"
Oh, we just produce software really.
>Button perks up
>"Oh, so you're like... a computer programmer?"
>Anon grins
Yeah, kind of. I'm more involved in the design side of things though.
>You roll your eyes and give Anon a playful shove on the shoulder
>"Tell him what it is you actually make!"
>Anon grins at you.
>You get the feeling you're playing a game here, him trying to avoid saying it and you trying to get it out from him
Well. We make...
>He thinks for a moment before continuing
... our products use interaction with a user interface to generates some kind of resulting audiovisual output.
>Button just looks confused
>"...ok? Uh, that sounds pretty complicated..."
>You sigh
>"He's a game designer, hun."
>You grin as Anon winces, obviously expecting an excited outburst
>You're as surprised as Anon is when no shout of disbelief comes
>Button is staring at him slack jawed, his eyes unfocused
>"You're... you're Anonymous Yassine Mouse."
>His speech is slow, his voice filled with awe
>Anon just gives a cautious nod, still expecting to get pelted with questions
>"You're the lead game designer at Fargo Studios."
>Again, Anon gives a nod
>Button opens his mouth to speak again, but pauses for a second before collapsing face first into his dinner
JESUS!
>Anon stumbles to his feet in surprise
>You give a sigh and stand up
>"Oh, I thought we were past this."
Is... is he alright?
>You move round and gently lift his face out of his plate, wiping it over with a napkin
>"Yeah. Poor little thing just gets a little overexcited sometimes."
>You move his meal aside and gently lay his head on the table with a folded napkin underneath
>"A minute or so and he'll be right as rain"
>Anon hesitates slightly
Is there anything I should do?
>You smile at how concerned he is about Button
>"No, no, just enjoy your meal."
>He nods and sits down
Alright boss. But if you do need anything...
>You wave your hoof
>"There are more pressing matters Anon."
>His eyebrows raise slightly in concern
What's wrong Elaina?
>"You never told me your middle name was Yassine"
>Anon gives a groan
Look, it was a clerical error. When I first arrived, they asked me what I wanted to be called on official records, and I said Anon Y. Mouse.
>You stifle a giggle
>"'Anonymous'. Cute. But why Yassine?"
When I said I wanted to be called that, the clerk asked me what the Y stood for...
>He waves his arms
I couldn't think of any other name beginning with Y!
>You're laughing out loud now
>"And... and your first name is 'Anonymous'. So really... really it would be 'Anonymousymous'"
>He waves his arms around even more
It was... he asked how I wanted 'Anon' spelled, and I said "Oh, it's just short for Anonymous, so spell it that way". I didn't think he'd just write down Anonymous!
>You're still laughing at Anon's story, but you're interrupted by a groan from beside you
>Button groggily lifts his head from the table
>"Euuugh."
>You rub his back
>"How you feeling, Hun?"
>You notice that you missed some pasta sauce when you wiped his face earlier
>"Oh, you got a little something on your face... hold still"
>Spitting onto the napkin to dampen it, you lean in to wash the spot off
>He recoils, flailing at you with his hooves
>"MUUUUUUM. STOP!"
>You quickly dart in and wipe him clean. He makes a disgusted face
>"Stop! You're embarrassing me in front of Anon! Wait, Anon..."
>He gives a squeak as he remember's Anon's there, and spins to face him wearing an expression of absolute worship
>Anon quickly speaks, making calming gestures with his -skilful- hands
Hey Button, don't get too excited, it's just a job. I'm sure it's a lot less interesting than you...
>Anon trails off as he realises that Button has zoned out
>You hold out your hooves to the side of the chair, and a moment later your son collapses again, this time straight into your waiting hooves
>"Ok. I think it's time someone went to bed before he takes permanent brain damage"
>With that, you hoist your son onto your back and, after excusing youself for a moment, carry him upstairs
>You brush his teeth for him and slip him into his pajamas
>He had a busy day at school, and meeting Anon was probably just a bit too much for him
>As you're tucking him into bed, he stirs
>"Mum..."
>"Yes sweetie?"
>He seems quite sleepy, like he's coming down off a sugar rush that's finally ended
>Maybe the game earlier was a little too exciting for him.
>Sitting up in bed nervously, he taps his hooves together a little as he speaks
>"Do you think... do you think you could ask Anon if he would read me a bedtime story?"
>"Sure thing Hun. Why don't you pick out a book and he'll be up soon"
>You give your cute little Button a kiss on the forehead, and he hugs you you
>"Goodnight Mum."
>"Goodnight Button. Sweet dreams"

>You head back downstairs
>As you enter the kitchen, you're surprised to see that Anon is washing the dishes in the sink
>You approve of a man who's willing to chip in with his share of the work
>He turns as he hears you entering
So Button's ok?
>You nod
>"Yeah, he's good. Though he did request a bedtime story from you"
>Anon nods
Sure. Let me just finish up here...
>You shake your head
>"I'll finish this Anon, thanks for helping though"
>You give him a hug, and the two of you hold each other close for a few moments
>Reluctantly, Anon pulls away
Ok. I'll head on up then
>"First door on the left"
>You watch Anon leave the room
>Damn, he has a mighty fine ass
>Once he and his delicious rump are out of sight, you turn your attention to the washing up, and get stuck in...

>Anon is still reading to Button when you've finished the dishes
>You creep up the stairs and listen at the door to your son's room
>Anon's voice drifts out and you listen to the story
...and on Friday, he got 6 MVPs, but he was still hungry for more...
>You blink. You're pretty sure that's not how the story goes
...on Saturday, he did a quickscope, a noscope, got three throwing knife kills, made 2 montages, got MVP again and even got a 5 vs 1 clutch on dust with just his knife.
>Yeah, you're 100% sure that's not right
The next day was Sunday again, and he wasn't hungry any more- but he wasn't a little noob any more.
Now he was a massive, fedora-tipping neckbeard
He moved back in with his parents and spent two whole weeks eating nothing but dew and doritos.
>"What happened then Anon?"
>Button sounds sleepy, like he's barely even awake at all
Well, when he left his parents basement, he wasn't a noob any more He was MLG. He moved to Korea and played comp. professionally
>You hear a yawn, and then silence for a while
Goodnight kiddo, sleep well
>With that, Anon leaves
>Backing out of Button's room, Anon gently closes the door behind himself
>He turns, and gives a slight yelp as he sees you standing by the door
>Noticing your smirk, he rubs at the back of his neck
Uh... how much of that did you hear?
>Your grin widens
>"Oh, I heard enough. Though I don't think we own a book called 'The Hungry Hungry n00b'"
>He shrugs
Maybe it was a gift?
>You giggle at him
Like, you know, someone got you it, and you like, forgot or something...
>"Oh, c'mon"
>You head back downstairs, Anon following
>Feeling his eyes on your rear, you make sure to add a little extra sway to your flanks
>Arriving in the kitchen, you take a bottle of wine out of the fridge and pour some into a pair of wine glasses
>Anon takes one and thanks you
>"No, thank /you/ Anon."
>"It really means a lot to me that you're getting on with Button"
>"After what happened with his father, well..."
>"You're the first person I've seen since that he's liked"
>Anon shakes his head
Don't be silly Elaina. He's a cool kid.
>You take a long sip from your glass
>Starting from the ground, you move your eyes up him, taking in his physique
>When you finally meet his eyes, yours are half-lidded
>He holds your gaze, and you smile coyly
>You set your glass down and saunter up to him, putting a seductive sway into your hips
>"Well, Button's in bed now..."
>You gently trail a hoof along his chest, and lower your voice as you continue speaking
>"... we've got some time to ourselves..."
>Anon takes a big drink from his glass and sets it down
>He runs his fingers through your mane, and leans in close to you, his mouth level with your ear
>You can feel his breath, hot and humid on your neck as he whispers
1v1 me rust
>You sign inwardly, and open your mouth to groan
>Before you can even get a sound out, Anon has clamped his lips around yours
>You're surprised by the sudden action, but surrender your mouth to him as his tongue moves against yours
>He starts off kissing you gently, teasing your tongue and making low, satisfied moans
>You match his pace, intimately sharing a passionate kiss
>It doesn't take long before he wants more
>He becomes more dominant, pushing into your mouth and wrapping his arms around you, pinning you against the kitchen counter
>You writhe under him, his strong body holding you steady
>His tongue dances into your mouth, giving you no choice but to welcome him
>As the kiss intensifies, his hands begin roaming your body, and you move your front hooves up against his chest
>One of his hands runs through your hair, his long fingers arriving at your ears
>Rubbing your sensitive ears, you give an involuntary moan as you feel his other hand begin to massage your flank
>Without even realising it, you're rubbing at his hardening member through his trousers needily
>All the while, he continues his assault on your mouth
>Anon's hand kneads your hot flanks, sending flashes of desire through your marehood
>You can feel your own wetness on your legs, a desperate urge for something to fill you up beginning to take hold
>Your lover abruptly cuts off the kiss, and you gasp in cool air
>He leans in, close to your ear and whispers, his voice low and husky
Elaina, I need you right now
>You're too overcome to say anything, and just pant as Anon beings to kiss your neck
>You melt under his attentions, the caressing of your flanks sending lightning running up and down your rear legs
>Anon's oral attentions on your neck become more intense, more aggressive
>A sharp nip with his teeth elicits a hoarse moan, and he draws out more as he continues to nibble and suck on your neck
I've been waiting to do this all day...