tf2 catfacts

    bind "PGDN" "+bind"

    // Wait-checking script (just leave this stuff alone)
    alias waitcheck_fail "echo >> WAIT DISABLED ON SERVER"
    alias waitcheck_pass "echo >> WAIT ENABLED ON SERVER"
    alias waitcheck_test2 "wait 10;alias waitcheck_result waitcheck_pass"
    alias waitcheck_test "waitcheck_test2;alias waitcheck_result waitcheck_fail;wait 15;waitcheck_result"

    // Change what's in the quotes to whatever you want your binds to say
    alias bind1 "say Every year, nearly four million cats are eaten in Asia."
    alias bind2 "say On average, cats spend 2/3 of every day sleeping."
    alias bind3 "say Unlike dogs, cats do not have a sweet tooth."
    alias bind4 "say When a cat chases its prey, it keeps its head level."
    alias bind5 "say The technical term for a cat's hairball is a 'bezoar.'"
    alias bind6 "say A group of cats is called a 'clowder.'"
    alias bind7 "say Female cats tend to be right pawed, while male cats are more often left pawed."
    alias bind8 "say A cat can't climb head first down a tree because every claw on a cat's paw points the same way."
    alias bind9 "say Cats make about 100 different sounds. Dogs make only about 10."
    alias bind10 "say A cat's brain is biologically more similar to a human brain than it is to a dog's."
    alias bind11 "say There are more than 500 million domestic cats in the world, with approximately 40 recognized breeds."
    alias bind12 "say Approximately 24 cat skins can make a coat."
    alias bind13 "say The record for the longest non-fatal fall by a cat was from the 16th floor of an apartment building."
    alias bind14 "say The tiniest cat on record is Mr. Pebbles, a 2-year-old cat that weighed 3 lbs and was 6.1 inches high."
    alias bind15 "say The richest cat is Blackie who was left 15 million Euros by his owner, Ben Rea."
    alias bind16 "say During the Middle Ages, cats were associated with withcraft."
    alias bind17 "say Cats are North America's most popular pets: there are 73 million cats compared to 63 million dogs."
    alias bind18 "say The first cat in space was a French cat named Felicette (a.k.a. "Astrocat") In 1963, France blasted the cat into outer space."
    alias bind19 "say The group of words associated with cat (catt, cath, chat, katze) stem from the Latin catus, meaning domestic cat."
    alias bind20 "say A commemorative tower was built in Scotland for a cat named Towser, who caught nearly 30,000 mice in her lifetime."
    alias bind21 "say Approximately 40,000 people are bitten by cats in the U.S. annually."
    alias bind22 "say In Hebrew legend, Noah prayed for help protecting the food on the ark from being eaten by rats. God made the lion sneeze a cat."
    alias bind23 "say A cat's hearing is better than a dog's, and a cat can hear high-frequency sounds up to two octaves higher than a human."
    alias bind24 "say A cat can travel at a top speed of approximately 31 mph (49 km) over a short distance."
    alias bind25 "say A cat can jump up to five times its own height in a single bound."
    alias bind26 "say Some cats have survived falls of over 65 feet, due largely to their 'righting reflex.'"
    alias bind27 "say A cat rubs against people not only to be affectionate but also to mark out its territory with scent glands around its face."
    alias bind28 "say Researchers are unsure exactly how a cat purrs. Most veterinarians believe that a cat purrs by vibrating vocal folds."
    alias bind29 "say There are up to 60 million feral cats in the United States alone."
    alias bind30 "say In 1888, more than 300,000 mummified cats were found an Egyptian cemetery."
    alias bind31 "say Most cats give birth to a litter of between one and nine kittens."
    alias bind32 "say The largest known litter ever produced was 19 kittens, of which 15 survived."
    alias bind33 "say The earliest ancestor of the modern cat lived about 30mil yrs ago. Scientists called it the Proailurus, which means 'first cat.'"
    alias bind34 "say The biggest wildcat today is the Siberian Tiger. It can be more than 12 ft long and weigh up to 700 lbs."
    alias bind35 "say The smallest wildcat today is the Black-footed cat. The females are less than 20in long and can weigh as little as 2.5 lbs."
    alias bind36 "say Many Egyptians worshipped the goddess Bast, who had a woman's body and a cat's head."
    alias bind37 "say Mohammed loved cats and reportedly his favorite cat, Muezza, was a tabby. Legend says that tabby cats have an 'M' for Mohammed."
    alias bind38 "say While many parts of EU and USA consider the black cat a sign of bad luck, in the UK and AUS, black cats are considered lucky."
    alias bind39 "say The most popular pedigreed cat is the Persian cat, followed by the Main Coon cat and the Siamese cat."
    alias bind40 "say The smallest pedigreed cat is a Singapura, which can weigh just 4 lbs, or about five large cans of cat food."
    alias bind41 "say The claws on the cat's back paws aren't as sharp as the claws on the front paws because the claws in the back don't retract."
    alias bind42 "say Researchers believe the word 'tabby' comes from Attabiyah, a neighborhood in Baghdad, Iraq."
    alias bind43 "say Cats hate the water because their fur does not insulate well when it's wet."
    alias bind44 "say The Egyptian Mau is probably the oldest breed of cat. The breed is so ancient that its name is the Egyptian word for 'cat.'"
    alias bind45 "say The costliest cat ever is named Little Nicky, who cost his owner $50,000. He is a clone of an older cat."
    alias bind46 "say A cat usually has about 12 whiskers on each side of its face."
    alias bind47 "say In the 1750s, Europeans introduced cats into the Americas to control pests."
    alias bind48 "say Jewish folklore recounts that Adam's first wife, Lilith, became a black vampire cat, sucking the blood of sleeping babies."
    alias bind49 "say A cat's jaw can't move sideways, so a cat can't chew large chunks of food."
    alias bind50 "say In the original Italian version of Cinderella, the benevolent fairy godmother figure was a cat."
    alias bind51 "say In contrast to dogs, cats have not undergone major changes during their domestication process."
    alias bind52 "say A female cat is called a queen or a molly."
    alias bind53 "say Hamlet, the most traveled cat who escaped from his carrier while on a flight, had traveled nearly 373,000 miles."
    alias bind54 "say Both humans and cats have identical regions in the brain responsible for emotion."
    alias bind55 "say A cat's brain is more similar to a man's brain than that of a dog."
    alias bind56 "say A cat has more bones than a human; humans have 206, but the cat has 230 (some cites list 245 bones)."
    alias bind57 "say Cats have 30 vertebrae (humans have 33 vertebrae during early development; 26 after the sacral and coccygeal regions fuse)."
    alias bind58 "say The cat's collarbone does not connect with other bones which allows them to fit through any opening the size of their head."
    alias bind59 "say The cat has 500 skeletal muscles (humans have 650)."
    alias bind60 "say Cats have 32 muscles that control the outer ear (compared to human's 6 muscles each)."
    alias bind61 "say Cats' hearing is much more sensitive than humans and dogs."
    alias bind62 "say Cats' hearing stops at 65 khz (kilohertz); humans' hearing stops at 20 khz."
    alias bind63 "say A cat sees about 6 times better than a human at night, and needs 1/6 the amount of of light that a human does."
    alias bind64 "say Recent studies have shown that cats can see blue and green. There is disagreement as to whether they can see red."
    alias bind65 "say A cat's field of vision is about 200 degrees."
    alias bind66 "say Unlike humans, cats do not need to blink their eyes on a regular basis to keep their eyes lubricated."
    alias bind67 "say Blue-eyed, pure white cats are frequently deaf."
    alias bind68 "say It may take as long as 2 weeks for a kitten to be able to hear well.  Their eyes usually open between 7 and 10 days."
    alias bind69 "say Cats can judge within 3 inches the precise location of a sound being made 1 yard away."
    alias bind70 "say Cats can be right-pawed or left-pawed."
    alias bind71 "say A cat cannot see directly under its nose."
    alias bind72 "say Almost 10% of a cat's bones are in its tail, and the tail is used to maintain balance."
    alias bind73 "say The domestic cat is the only species able to hold its tail vertically while walking."
    alias bind74 "say A cat has two vocal chords, and can make over 100 sounds. "
    alias bind75 "say A cat's normal pulse is 140-240 beats per minute, with an average of 195."
    alias bind76 "say A kitten will typically weigh about 3 ounces at birth."
    alias bind77 "say Cats take between 20-40 breaths per minute."
    alias bind78 "say The cat's front paw has 5 toes, but the back paws have 4. Some cats are born with as many as 7 toes."
    alias bind79 "say Cats lap liquid from the underside of their tongue, not from the top."
    alias bind80 "say Cats purr at the same frequency as an idling diesel engine, about 26 cycles per second."

    // Don't change these, but if you want to add more binds if 20 isn't enough, you can probaby see the pattern.
    alias shittalk_waiton "alias diceroll bind_next; bind_next"
    alias shittalk_nowait "bind_cycle"
    alias bind_diceroll_1 "alias bind_result bind1;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_2"
    alias bind_diceroll_2 "alias bind_result bind2;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_3"
    alias bind_diceroll_3 "alias bind_result bind3;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_4"
    alias bind_diceroll_4 "alias bind_result bind4;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_5"
    alias bind_diceroll_5 "alias bind_result bind5;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_6"
    alias bind_diceroll_6 "alias bind_result bind6;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_7"
    alias bind_diceroll_7 "alias bind_result bind7;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_8"
    alias bind_diceroll_8 "alias bind_result bind8;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_9"
    alias bind_diceroll_9 "alias bind_result bind9;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_10"
    alias bind_diceroll_10 "alias bind_result bind10;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_11"
    alias bind_diceroll_11 "alias bind_result bind11;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_12"
    alias bind_diceroll_12 "alias bind_result bind12;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_13"
    alias bind_diceroll_13 "alias bind_result bind13;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_14"
    alias bind_diceroll_14 "alias bind_result bind14;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_15"
    alias bind_diceroll_15 "alias bind_result bind15;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_16"
    alias bind_diceroll_16 "alias bind_result bind16;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_17"
    alias bind_diceroll_17 "alias bind_result bind17;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_18"
    alias bind_diceroll_18 "alias bind_result bind18;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_19"
    alias bind_diceroll_19 "alias bind_result bind19;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_20"
    alias bind_diceroll_20 "alias bind_result bind20;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_21"
    alias bind_diceroll_21 "alias bind_result bind21;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_22"
    alias bind_diceroll_22 "alias bind_result bind22;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_23"
    alias bind_diceroll_23 "alias bind_result bind23;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_24"
    alias bind_diceroll_24 "alias bind_result bind24;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_25"
    alias bind_diceroll_25 "alias bind_result bind25;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_26"
    alias bind_diceroll_26 "alias bind_result bind26;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_27"
    alias bind_diceroll_27 "alias bind_result bind27;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_28"
    alias bind_diceroll_28 "alias bind_result bind28;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_29"
    alias bind_diceroll_29 "alias bind_result bind29;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_30"
    alias bind_diceroll_30 "alias bind_result bind30;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_31"
    alias bind_diceroll_31 "alias bind_result bind31;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_32"
    alias bind_diceroll_32 "alias bind_result bind32;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_33"
    alias bind_diceroll_33 "alias bind_result bind33;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_34"
    alias bind_diceroll_34 "alias bind_result bind34;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_35"
    alias bind_diceroll_35 "alias bind_result bind35;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_36"
    alias bind_diceroll_36 "alias bind_result bind36;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_37"
    alias bind_diceroll_37 "alias bind_result bind37;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_38"
    alias bind_diceroll_38 "alias bind_result bind38;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_39"
    alias bind_diceroll_39 "alias bind_result bind39;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_40"
    alias bind_diceroll_40 "alias bind_result bind40;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_41"
    alias bind_diceroll_41 "alias bind_result bind41;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_42"
    alias bind_diceroll_42 "alias bind_result bind42;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_43"
    alias bind_diceroll_43 "alias bind_result bind43;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_44"
    alias bind_diceroll_44 "alias bind_result bind44;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_45"
    alias bind_diceroll_45 "alias bind_result bind45;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_46"
    alias bind_diceroll_46 "alias bind_result bind46;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_47"
    alias bind_diceroll_47 "alias bind_result bind47;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_48"
    alias bind_diceroll_48 "alias bind_result bind48;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_49"
    alias bind_diceroll_49 "alias bind_result bind49;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_50"
    alias bind_diceroll_50 "alias bind_result bind50;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_51"
    alias bind_diceroll_51 "alias bind_result bind51;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_52"
    alias bind_diceroll_52 "alias bind_result bind52;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_53"
    alias bind_diceroll_53 "alias bind_result bind53;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_54"
    alias bind_diceroll_54 "alias bind_result bind54;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_55"
    alias bind_diceroll_55 "alias bind_result bind55;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_56"
    alias bind_diceroll_56 "alias bind_result bind56;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_57"
    alias bind_diceroll_57 "alias bind_result bind57;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_58"
    alias bind_diceroll_58 "alias bind_result bind58;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_59"
    alias bind_diceroll_59 "alias bind_result bind59;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_60"
    alias bind_diceroll_60 "alias bind_result bind60;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_61"
    alias bind_diceroll_61 "alias bind_result bind61;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_62"
    alias bind_diceroll_62 "alias bind_result bind62;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_63"
    alias bind_diceroll_63 "alias bind_result bind63;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_64"
    alias bind_diceroll_64 "alias bind_result bind64;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_65"
    alias bind_diceroll_65 "alias bind_result bind65;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_66"
    alias bind_diceroll_66 "alias bind_result bind66;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_67"
    alias bind_diceroll_67 "alias bind_result bind67;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_68"
    alias bind_diceroll_68 "alias bind_result bind68;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_69"
    alias bind_diceroll_69 "alias bind_result bind69;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_70"
    alias bind_diceroll_70 "alias bind_result bind70;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_71"
    alias bind_diceroll_71 "alias bind_result bind71;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_72"
    alias bind_diceroll_72 "alias bind_result bind72;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_73"
    alias bind_diceroll_73 "alias bind_result bind73;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_74"
    alias bind_diceroll_74 "alias bind_result bind74;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_75"
    alias bind_diceroll_75 "alias bind_result bind75;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_76"
    alias bind_diceroll_76 "alias bind_result bind76;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_77"
    alias bind_diceroll_77 "alias bind_result bind77;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_78"
    alias bind_diceroll_78 "alias bind_result bind78;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_79"
    alias bind_diceroll_79 "alias bind_result bind79;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_80"
    alias bind_diceroll_80 "alias bind_result bind80;alias bind_cycle bind_diceroll_1"

    // Leave all this stuff alone
    alias +bind "alias waitcheck_pass shittalk_waiton;alias waitcheck_fail;shittalk_nowait;waitcheck_test"
    alias -bind "bind_result;alias diceroll"
    alias bind_next "bind_cycle;wait 5;diceroll"
    alias bind_cycle "bind_diceroll_1"