[Hemera] Queen of the Castle: Part 3

--oO(Queen of the Castle: Part 3)Oo--

>You are Gray Scutum
>You roll your shoulders to shift
>the heavy saddle bags strapped
>across every inch of your back
>to a relatively more comfortable position
>"So now I'm a glorified servant..."
>Hemera had scribbled a list down at least
>fourteen feet of scroll, snapped it
>closed and sent you out to shop
"Just take the money out of my war chest"
>and she tossed you your own coin purse
>Most of this stuff seemed harmless enough
>but you know Hemera well enough to be
>at least a little worried
>Thank Night she had taken Princess Luna's
>advice to stop using experimental
>spells as prank fodder and switched
>back to more conventional materials
>You think back over the list you
>finished purchasing (mostly at Stable Depot)
>Hooks, pulleys, rope, wheels, various plumbing
>and cleaning supplies, adhesives, a pack
>of playing cards, a huge assortment of
>fireworks from Taffy Daffodil's Explodisseum...
>(Even Taffy's eyes bugged out at the list)
>Now that you consider it all together like
>that, this might be scarier than you'd thought
>You try to imagine what monster mechanation
>Hemera has planned for all of this junk
>but imagination was never your strong suit
>You sigh again as you trudge up another staircase
>You know that if you didn't humor the
>insane little filly at least on the surface
>that she'd just do it all behind your back
>and that would make it that much harder
>to protect her, and to protect others from her
>She had told you to meet her in
>the Castle's never used 'War Room' with the mats
>You'd never actually gone in there before
>but you suppose it appeals to
>the madfilly's sense of drama
>You arrive at the heavy, iron bound double doors
>You take a deep breath and push one open
>"By the Longest Night...."
>You stare around the cavernous room in awe
>There is a massive round stone table
>in the dead center of the room
>surrounded by high backed chairs
>and headed by a large throne
>The room is lit with high contrast spots
>illuminating large maps on the walls
>which showcase various sections of Equestria
>...but not just Equestria
>The Crystal Empire, Saddle Arabia, YakYakistan
>Tenochtitlan, even the Badlands and Gryphonstone
>All around the outside walls are dusty
>communication arrays, their crystals
>sparkling dimly, waiting patiently for War
*CREEEAAAAAAAK*
>The throne slowly swivels around to face you
>Hemera leans forward out of the throne
>illiciting another painful squeal
>and places her elbows on the table
>peering at you over her folded hooves
"So, you finally deign to join us, Corporal Scutum"
>She just keeps demoting you...
"Gentlecolts...."
>You lock your face into an expressionless mask
"We have gathered you here today for one purpose"
>She lowers her hooves to the table, levering
>herself up out of the throne
"How do we KILL the Bird?"
>You drop the overpacked saddlebags and
>slide into the chair directly across the
>table from her throne, and mimick her
>previous tone and pose exactly
>"Our forces are prepared, my Queen"
>"We would follow you to Tartarus and back,
>but is it prudent at this juncture to declare
>all out war on all of Equestria?"
>You savor her eyes widening and then quickly
>narrowing in thought, Are you playing along or not?
"Explain yourself, Lieutenant"
>Hah, promotion achieved!
>You're slightly surprised at how much
>that actually makes you happy
>You're getting more used to playing
>along with her over the top games
>"Princess Celestia will not take it kindly
>when we assassinate her favorite pet, your Madnificence"
>You're even picking up her flair for
>smashing words into new and interesting forms
"...erm...what?"
>"Philomena, my Queen. Princess Celestia's pet Phoenix"
"YOU COMPLETE ASS! YOU KNEW THIS ALL ALONG?"
>She leaps up onto the table and charges up to you
>She's right, you realize. Timing is Everything
"EXPLAIN YOURSELF PRIVATE SCUTUM!"
>Ouch
>"Princess Celestia is very fond of magical
>creatures, my Liege. Philomena is her favorite
>and often accompanies her as she travels Equestria"
>Her gaze drills into your eye
>It's surprisingly hard not to look away
"AND?"
>"She...may have a reputation for......hijinks..."
"AHAAAA!"
>She jams her hoof out inches from your face
"AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO SHARE THIS INTELLIGENCE BEFORE, CADET SCUTUM?"
>Aw shit
>"Erm, I had my suspicions before, my Empress..."
>flattery couldn't hurt...
>"...but I couldn't be sure until you so
>skillfully cornered the dread fowl and exposed
>her devious charade!"
>She lowers her hoof, still glaring daggers at you
>"I couldn't risk reporting incomplete intel,
>if I was wrong it could have sabotaged your
>entire operation!"
>You watch her eyebrow raise, expecting something more?
>"U-um...you have my deepest apologies, my..."
>(What the hell is higher than an Empress?)
>"...god-king Hemera!"
>Son of a whorse. That was lame.
"Alright, alright, stop grovelling you enormous baby"
>Thank the Night
>You relax a bit as she walks back across
>the table and collapses across the armrests
>of the throne, her arm slung over her eyes
"Uugh! What am I gonna do now? I had it all planned out!"
>You stand up and trot around to
>take the seat on the throne's right hand instead
>"Hmm...I think it might not be as bad as you think."
>She peeks an eye out from under her arm
"Stay in character, GS"
>You reassume your cringing servility
>"Most glorious Queen, I believe that Princess Celestia
>is aware of her pet's....indiscretions. At least she
>knows that sometimes Philomena gets what she deserves"
"Go on"
>"If we were to employ your unique skills in such a
>manner as to humble the flapping menace without
>anypony else being the wiser, it is likely that any
>complaints from her pet would fall upon deaf ears"
>By the MOON this is exhausting...
"You mean like a stealth mission?"
>Oh thank Luna!
>"Yaaasssss, my Queen. Nopony need be the wiser"
>When do you get to be her bodyguard again?
"Excellent. I know now what we must do"
"Captain Scutum!"
>You leap to attention
>"YES MY QUEEN"
"I have a job only you can accomplish!"
>"I live to serve!"
"The road may be hard..."
>"I shall soften it with the bones of your enemies!"
"Good, then go and buy me a large cardboard box!"
>You barely catch yourself from falling over sideways
>"Um....what...?"
"I assure you that it is absolutely vital"
>Okaaaaaay
"Take the funds out of my War Chest. Buy the very best you can find"
>You mutely catch a very familiar sack of bits
"Now begone. There is much to plan"
>You exit back the way you came
>tying your coinpurse to your light armor
>as securely as you can
>How the hell does she do that?

To Be Continued