Dragon Dildo

>You hear a knock at the door as you're reading up on the latest issue of Horsefuckers Anonymous.
>No really, that's what it's called. Rarity is on the cover this month.
>It's surprising that this exists here, considering the pones distaste for being called horses.
>Getting up from your couch, you walk on over to see who is visiting.
>Probably Rarity.
>She can't get enough of the monkey D.
>Opening the door however, you're greeted with a cheerful wave from one Spike the dragon.
>"Hey Anon!"
>He's a chill little dude.
>Just a kid, still impressionable enough to mess with.
What's up, brah?
>"Twilight sent me over to pick up that book you borrowed, "50 Spells, Tricks, and Ideas To Stimulate Your Prostate".  Hey, Anon? What's a prostate?"
>Wanna find out? Stop it, you sick fuck.
...It's... Something that gets sore in older guys now and again, have to stimulate it to keep it in working order.
>Nice save.
>"Oh really? Big Mac asked me if I would help him with his, since his hooves are too big, I guess I wouldn't mind giving him a claw!"
>That massive red faggot.
>Why didn't he ask you?
Yeah, I would just forget that if I were you. Anyways, the book is in my room, go ahead and grab it.
>"Alright, thanks Anon!"

>Running by the couch, his head turns as he slows down to a stop.
>Seems he saw your magazine.
>"...Anon-?"
Yes, it's Rarity.
>"And is that-?"
Yes, it's me.
>"..."
Yes, it was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
>With a trembling lower lip, he runs off to collect Twilights book.
>As you sit back down to enjoy the articles, and only the articles in your magazine, Spike comes scampering back holding the book. And...
>"Hey Anon, look what I found! You didn't tell me you had a sword!"
...
>Ooooh fuck.
>In his small claws, he's holding your long red dragon dildo.
>Because you're a faggot who owns a dragon dildo, apparently.
>Swinging it around, he makes sounds of metal clanging and scraping together.
>"This is so cool! can I play with it for a while? Please?"
>How can you say no to that?
Ya know what? Knock yourself out.
>He gives a cheer as you look on with your best pokerface.

>As he continues to swing it around like some lightsaber turned tower of power, you hear another knock at the door.
>Being the reasonable Anon that you are, you proceed to open it. What could possibly be misconstrued about this situation?
>"Howdy, Anon! I was just droppin' by tah see i-"
>She stops mid-sentence as she looks past you into your home.
>"Uh... Anon?"
Hey Spike, AJ's here, why not show her your sword?
>Applejack looks at you like you just shat on her grandmothers dinner spread.
>"Hey AJ, Isn't this the coolest!?"
>Spike proceeds to wave the dildo uncomfortably close to Applejacks face, I bet she can smell the anus.
>Lowering the brim of her hat to cover her eyes, she walks out without another word to you, mumbling about another poofter in town and how happy her brother would be.
>"Huh... Guess she didn't think it was cool."
Why don't you go show the Crusaders your sword? Maybe they can get their Cutie Marks in being Knights?
>"Great Idea! Thanks Anon, I'll bring it back later."
No, no.... You keep it.
>"WOW THANKS!"
>Giving you a hug, he runs off into the town.
>Chuckling softly, you close the door and walk back over to your couch, soaking in the screams and outraged cry's coming from the town.
>Now then, where were you. Ah, "The Proper Procedure For Bathtub Abortions".
>Huh.
>Now you know why Rarity has all those extra coat hangers laying around.