1:18 AM - Sam Maxis: Foo I know what you've said. I know what your arguments are. I know you want to try to keep the values, but through my own conscious I am struggling. I feel sick. Like I've decieved people. That their feelings may very well be exploited for the sake of profit. Some of these people are extremely vulnerable. I know you may say I'm dramatizing, but dammit man my guilt is going crazy. I seriously cannot handle this.
1:46 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): You are dramatizing.
1:47 AM - Sam Maxis: I seriously cannot pretend and place it out of mind man. I'm sorry. It's not working. You can say I'm dramatizing, but I really do not feel okay with it
1:50 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): I really hope one day you'll realize how jaded you are being right now.
1:51 AM - Sam Maxis: Tell me....
1:57 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): So I thought I made a good effort trying to quell your doubts and concerns.
1:57 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): Clearly I didn't.
1:57 AM - Sam Maxis: I tried to accept what you had
1:57 AM - Sam Maxis: and move on, but I failed
1:57 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): Honestly, you have a problem with taking on specifics over a broad idea.
1:57 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): I'm not sure what experience you think you have with 'monetizing servers' from when you made that MC server.
1:58 AM - Sam Maxis: Can I go first....? before I feel like everything is stacked against me
1:58 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): Sure
2:01 AM - Sam Maxis: I understand why you want to do what you do and everything. I turly understand what you're trying to do. Only the flaw here is me. I don't believe I can convince my conscious that I will not be hurting people and that becoming a business advances the great coummunity I'm a part of not hinders it. I feel sick when I've done something wrong. I get intense headaches, and I know this will be true if I try to just continuet he way I have. I'll feel like I'm setting up people to give money and... well I guess you know what I"m trying to say. it's my fault here Foo. I feel this way and I don't think I'll be able to participate knowing what can be
2:02 AM - Sam Maxis: People will support you and will even moreso if you became big enough to try the business thing
2:02 AM - Sam Maxis: I dont' think I can do it though. I'm what's wrong
2:03 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): setting up people to give money
2:03 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): Again, you're taking such a broad approach to this.
2:03 AM - Sam Maxis: ok I'll listen
2:03 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): And it makes me feel like you've been looking for a reason to leave.
2:04 AM - Sam Maxis: No Foo really. I love it and I don't want to go... but holy shit man I have the worst headachre right now because I feel guilty as sin
2:04 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): I said it multiple times before and I can't stress it enough that we will never PUSH anything on members.
2:04 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): People have, and always will, be given the OPTION to donate.
2:05 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): I've touched on so many bases before and ran them through my head and I don't understand your concern at all because it seems so baseless.
2:06 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): I get that you're going off of a feeling of guilt? Distrust?
2:06 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): Like you're going to be leading people into something?
2:07 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): What's there to lead them into? If people don't see a reason to donate to help me and whoever is actively trying to work on the community, the admins included, then I don't see why they should have to.
2:08 AM - Sam Maxis: Dear God I really hate to go this route, but I'm wondering if my medicine is fucking with me
2:08 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): Just following the natural way communities expand if they are good: servers get full, open new servers, costs more money, need more donations, make a donation system to reward people who help out. On the off-chance we make profit or get that far then why shouldn't admins, developers, managers be given a little bit of cash for putting so much effort into the community?
2:09 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): Tell me specific things that worry you Sam and I'll give you the honest truth if I've already thought of it or not and why I don't think you should feel grief-stricken.
2:09 AM - Sam Maxis: Yeah..... alright... I just... I'll try to think about it and express concerns to you wher I'm not freeking out
2:09 AM - Sam Maxis: but I feel...
2:09 AM - Sam Maxis: I felt or feel guilty because I work hard with people personally and how they feel
2:10 AM - Sam Maxis: and I don't want them to think it's all for some money
2:10 AM - Sam Maxis: and I just worry that could easily take priority over what we have now... but I think maybe I'm experiencing anxiety as a side effect
2:10 AM - Sam Maxis: of some medicine
2:11 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): People shouldn't think it's all for money, because it's not
2:11 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): I'm going over the same points here over and over again.
2:12 AM - Sam Maxis: I think before it just seemed more about the money..... and I didn't get it
2:12 AM - Sam Maxis: I thought it was more aobut the money because it was kept mentioning of business
2:12 AM - Sam Maxis: and how business this and that, but I let that on with my quesioning
2:13 AM - Sam Maxis: Something is wrong though..... like legitimately with anxiety
2:14 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): Just cool off and breathe :/
2:14 AM - Sam Maxis: I think I should keep to myself until I figure out what
2:14 AM - Sam Maxis: I'll get back to you....
2:14 AM - [eG] foo (dont starve pls): Have you talked to anyone about this? You're pretty stirred up.
2:15 AM - Sam Maxis: Nope. I don't normally have a... well an episode, but I'm on some really heavy medicine for an infection, congestion, and shortness of breath temporarily
2:16 AM - Sam Maxis: and that didn't feel right so I'm gonna work on this myself
2:17 AM - Sam Maxis: I um... I'm sorry about losing control like that. I typically become strong in debates, but I actually.... I'll get to the bottom of it