a diffrent childhood

It was a quiet day at the small church in Starks county Maine.
Despite the best efforts of the bright summer sun nothing could dispel the feeling of sorrow and sadness that coagulated around the gathered mass of people.

By this time the last rights had been given and every one had spoken, all that was left to do was to place the caskets into the soft cool soil.

As the casket was lowered the crying of a child could be heard followed by shouts of protest

"Stop it they aren't dead, they cant be dead."

The source of the sound was the couples son. He was no more then 7 years old. Tears ran down from his sky blue eyes, his face was red from crying.

A women who was appeared to be no more then 18 years old gently restrained the child.

She had walnut colored hair and striking green eyes, that contrasted against her formal black dress.

"Mike I know it is hard to understand but they aren't here anymore." She tried to say this as kindly as she could. Although this was not made any easier by the weight of her own sadness.

The anguish filed child managed to break free and attempted to run towards the caskets.

He was roughly stopped by a pair of well callused hands.

He tried to shake off the man holding him back but his attempts failed.

The child soon found him self held aloft in the air by a pair of strong arms that belonged to Richard.

The man had a well weathered but gentle face, his hair was greying and the thick glasses he wore betrayed his advancing age.

Richard spoke slowly

"Look I know it isn't easy losing your parents, I lost mine when I was twice your age and it wasn't any easier."

Michal was overwhelmed with emotions. The child couldn't do anything but cry.

Richard adjusted his grip and held him next to his shoulder.

He didn't say anything to the child he just let him cry.

There wasn't much he could say to the child, he wouldn't lie and tell him it would get any better or easier as time went on.

As the coffins were slowly lowered into the ground, mike started sobbing.

Richard turned towards the women who was originally holding the child.

He slowly walked over, to the women and said
"Sarah I think it might be easier if we took him somewhere else I think this might be too much."

Sarah slowly nodded her head in agreement.

They walked towards the parking lot and sat down on a bench.

Mike was hysterically crying, the only thing they could do was let the child cry himself out.

15 minuets had past since they first sat down on the bench, finally the child had cried himself out.

Richard looked over to Sarah and looked at mike who had cried himself to sleep.

"Look I will put him in the car, you can drive him back home alright."

She merely nodded her head in agreement.

Richard walked towards the old Jeep Cherokee, and waited for Sarah to unlock it.

When she did he opened the rear passenger door and put Mike in the child seat and strapped him in securely. After that he shut the door and walked around to Sarah and gave her a hug.

"I know this cant be easy on you, I mean you have know Ben for almost as long as I had. I- I- will be there if you need anything."

Richard stuttered with the last part of his sentence. The grief of losing his good friend finally caught up to him.

"Thanks for the offer, its going to be really hard on Mike I cant imagine how hard its going to be for him."

Richard looked back at the child in the back seat and said

"Yeah well I cant imagine how hard things are going to be. I mean sure Ben put you in as the god parent of their kid but the fact remains that you are a Geist. I really am not sure how things will work out legally with those god damn lawyers and public assholes."

Sarah readjusted her hair as it was caught by a slight gust of wind.

"Well financially we aren't too worried, sa apparently Jens parents left her all their money when they died." She paused and chuckled slightly remembering the past and said
" As for ben well you know him he would squirrel away coins like there was no tomorrow."

Richard had a sorrowful laugh

" Yeah I remember when we were teens he would pick up just about every damn penny he saw on the ground, and he was probably the only person in this damn town that actually used the store coupons, hell if I remember correctly the reason he got you was that he figured a rifle chambered in 25-06 would be cheaper to shoot then 30-06 because he could cast the bullet using less lead."

They both reminisced in memories long gone.

Sarah looked back at the cemetery and said

"Thanks for the help Richard, you are more then welcome over any time as a friend of Ben's. Any way I have to get going, Mike has school tomorrow , and I have a lot of cleaning to do."

Richard leaned against the right side passenger door and said
"Well I cant help you out today as I have work at the forestry, heck I'm not even supposed to be here right now some of my boys are covering for me so I actually have to get going."

They shared a quick goodbye hug and Richard walked towards his truck.

Sarah got in the old Jeep and started it up, she looked at the central console and saw the old cassette tapes that Ben had refused to get rid of despite their obsolescence.

Most of them were Metallica although there was some Pink Floyd and CCR tapes mixed in there.

As she drove out of the parking lot she looked at the trees and the nearby forest where ben had spent many a day shooting targets and hunting deer.

The memories were so close yet they felt so far.

Sarah quickly glanced in the rear view mirror to check if Mike was asleep, from his slow rate of breathing and his closed eyes she could confirm that he was indeed asleep.

With that now confirmed she finally let a few tears roll down from her eyes.

As she drove through the town all she could see were the memories of Ben and Jen.

She doubted she would ever be able to come to the town without thinking of either of those two.

As she drove out of the town and on the main road she tried to focus on driving.

She tried to focus on the feel of the road through the steering wheel but sadly the jeep was lacking in that regard its old hydraulic power assist system only gave back a muted reply.

It was a long 45 minute ride to their house.

Well it was now their house. Sarah thought to her self.

She pulled up in the dirt driveway and parked next to the garage.

She looked over her shoulder to see Mike fast asleep.

Sarah opened her driver door quietly and walked to the left side passenger door and gently opened it. Mike was still asleep in his car seat.

She unbuckled his seat belt and lifted him out of the car.

Mikes eyes opened and darted around confirming the fact that he was in the jeep and that the funeral had not been a dream.

"Sis are they really dead?" He asked somberly.

As she assisted him out of the car all she could say was "yes."

Mike looked up to her and said
"What will we do with out mommy and daddy?"

Sarah tried to stay calm and in charge of the situation

"Well I'll be doing a lot more around the house and I will try to get a job. Don't worry though I will still be here to play games and read stories to you."

She tried to say that in the most reassuring voice she could muster.

Mikes parents had figured it would be best to tell him that Sarah was an older sister and then explain what Geist were when he was older.

"Hey Mike would you like some macaroni and cheese? I will make it the way you like with little bits of bacon in it." Sarah said trying to get Mike's spirits up.

Mike looked to her, despite his emotional turmoil telling him not to eat he couldn't turn down that offer.

"Alright just a little though I'm not that hungry."

Sarah unlocked the door and let Mike in.

The house was a small affair with only two small bedrooms a bathroom and a combined living room and kitchen.

The workshop, garage and office were in a detached building only 75 feet from the house.

Still despite the houses small size there was a profound emptiness in its walls.

It was probably just her emotions but it even seemed as if the walls were sad and bleached of color.

She walked into the kitchen and went to open the fridge which was covered in pictures drawn by Mike.

One caught her eye it said my awesome family and had 4 stick figures each of them labeled with a name.

She thought for a few seconds about having the picture framed but then brushed the thought aside and opened the fridge to get the milk and bacon needed for the mac and chees.

She grabbed a pot and put it on the gas stove , then she grabbed the mac and cheese container from the pantry and poured the macaroni in the pot and added milk to it.

She then turned on the gas burner, which ignited with a slight whoosh of air and then settled down.

She set the timer for 4 minutes, then she grabbed a frying pan for the bacon and sprayed it with cooking oil.

At the very least cooking took her mind off of her own issues for a short bit.

As she fried the bacon she couldn't help but to look back at the picture on the wall of Ben and his helicopter.

You always dreamed big ben. She thought to herself, you enlisted in the high school to flight school program and made it as a warrant officer and flew helicopters up here for logging companies. But god damn why the hell did you see in flying planes and going to flight shows.

She remembered when the police arrived 3 days ago, informing her of what had happened.

"Mam I am sorry to inform you that both Ben and Jen were killed during a plane crash at the flight show we need some one to identify their bodies."

She found her self almost gaging at the memory of going to the morgue.

She found her self almost gagging at the memory of the morgue.

The smell of aviation fuel and burnt flesh permeated the air, as soon as the mortician opened up the freezer where they kept the bodies.

The mortician turned to Sarah and said

" It will be hard to look at them. There wasn't much I could do, I would recommend a closed casket funeral."

As the mortician pulled them out on the stainless steel sliding table the first thing that Sarah realized was that the bodies had no legs or rather there wasn't much left of the bodies.

Leg fragments were spaced out to where they should have been approximately located the torsos were burnt, but fragments of Ben's orange floral Hawaiian shirt were visible on his chest.

The worst part was the face. Sarah tried to block the image but the face kept coming back to her.

It started at the jaw, it looked as if some one had peeled back the layer of skin and then went on to peel back the muscle and until there was bone.

The horrific memory was interrupted by the monotonous beep of the kitchen timer.

"Thank god." Sarah exhaled thankful that the timer had interrupted her mental stagnation.

She inserted the contents of the cheese package into the macaroni and then took the bacon off the griddle and chopped it up before adding it to the mac and cheese.

As she added in bits of bacon while stirring the Mac and Cheese she heard mike crying in his room..

"At least I still have him." She thought too herself as she put down the wooden spoon she was using to mix the food.

As she left the kitchen and walked down the hall way she realized that the crying wasn't from Mikes room but his parents.

As she opened the door she could see him laying on their bed holding his stuffed teddy bear in a death grip.

As she walked into the room and sat down on the bed she tried to think of a way to comfort the grieving child.

"Hey Mike I made your favorite food. Extra special with bits of bacon."

He just squirmed and retreated under the covers.

She then heard in between his sobs "Why did they die they were good?"

She felt as if all the air had been kicked out of her. How could she tell a child that good people die all the time. That there was no certainty in life.

It was a concept that some if not most adults still hadn't fully adjusted to.

Instead she staid firm baiting him with the promise of food.

"Come on the Macaroni and Cheese is in the shape of Dinosaurs I know you like Dinosaurs."

The sobbing beneath the blankets slowed a little.

"Do they have T-Rex? I really like the T-Rex."

Honestly Sarah couldn't tell all the macaroni were roughly blob shaped but they were advertised as having 5 different types of dinosaurs and the T-Rex was one.

"Yes Mike they do have the T-Rex, they even have Stegosaurs."

She slowly pulled back the covers and revealed Mike all tear stained and red eyed.

"Come on Mike we don't want your food getting cold."

Sarah gently sat the boy up and led him by his right hand.

Despite her own feelings she knew she had to set a good example for Mike.

No matter how terrible she felt she would have to be there for him.
As a Rifle she had a duty to protect him from harm. Physical or mental, she wasn't going to let him suffer. She was sure of that she would provide the best care for him that she could even if it killed her.

As they walked through the kitchen she guided Mike to the chair and pulled it out.

Mike promptly jumped up on the chair and sat at the table.

Sarah quickly turned around and walked back to the stove where the Macaroni and cheese was and pulled a plate out from the cabinet and filled it half way with the bright yellow substance.

As she walked back Mike stared at her vacantly.
His eyes bore through her like a high pressure stream of coper through steel.

All she could do was to put the plate down in front of him and take the chair directly across from him.

She tried to think of something she could talk to him about that would distract him.

"So I heard there is a new show on T.V. something about turtles."

Mike shifted his gaze from his food to Sarah and replied
"I don't know I really don't watch T.V."

Sarah gently tapped the table with her pointer figure trying to drum up something she could talk about.

She suddenly remembered , that a day earlier Mike had been asking his parents if he could get a kite that was shaped like a dragon.

"Hey Mike remember when you were in the store and you saw that cool kite?"

Mike's eyes focused on her and a small smile formed on his face.

"Yes it was really cool.."
He responded accidentally spitting out some of the macaroni he was eating.

"Well Mike why don't we go get it tomorrow."

Mike excitedly nodded his head.

At least children are easily distracted Sarah thought too her self.

as mike finished his Mac and cheese Sarah picked up the bowl and put it in the dish washer and started cleaning the cooking utensils.

Mike scampered off to his room with out a prompt, his thoughts fixated temporarily on the dragon kite he would obtain tomorrow.

As Sarah washed the pots and pans she realized that she had no money on her.

"Dang it ." She muttered to herself as she dried off the pot and walked into Mike's parent's bedroom. Well her bedroom now, she mentally corrected herself.

She knew that Ben always kept some spare cash in the left hand draw of the bureau.

Inside the drawer were Ben's socks and underwear which were still bound together by a tag and plastic.

"Oh Ben you were always losing underwear and socks, where they went only god knows."

She chuckled to her self remembering how many times she and his wife had been accused of hiding his underwear.

As she moved the underwear she spotted four twenty dollar bills.

Which she picked up and put on top of the bureau.

As she looked up she saw her reflection in the mirror and realized she was still wearing her jet black dress from earlier.
Technically the dress wasn't hers but Jen's, luckily both Jen and Sarah shared roughly the same dimensions and tall athletic build.

While Sarah wouldn't describe her self as lanky she was definitely a bit on the thinner side, although her figure was well-defined by her strong musculature.
Such was to be expected of a 25-06 BAR.

She quickly removed the Dress and placed it on a hanger in the closet before throwing on some of Jen's blue jeans and a navy blue knitted sweater.

The wool shirt hung loosely around her waste but curved around her chest extenuating her breasts.

As she looked in the mirror she murmured to herself

"Jen if you can hear me I do have to say you were one hell of a dresser and always had good taste."

as she admired the woolen shirt she looked at the clock situated on the night stand and saw that it was 7:00pm.

" Okay I need to get mike washed up and to bed."

She walked out the door and walked to Mike's Room and knocked on the door.

Mike shouted "You can come in."

She slowly opened the door and scanned the floor for any lose hotwheels cars that might threaten to cripple her feet.

Seeing none she progressed into his room.
"Hey Mike you have to wash up and get to bed soon."

"Can you get this tie off, the knots really tight and I cant undo it."

Mike replied as he fumbled with the draconian sliver of fabric.

Sarah walked over and undid the tie and also undid his cuffs.
After that Mike quickly grabbed his pajamas and ran off to the bathroom.

Once more alone Sarah walked to her owners bed room and sat on the bed.

A few minutes passed before she realized there was a recent edition of Guns and ammo laying on the left hand nightstand.

She looked at the cover which exclaimed "5.56 vs 7.62 what's better we finally settle the debate."

Bellow that was " What Infrared and thermal scope is best the results are shocking."

She thumbed through some pages absent mindedly before settling on an article that exclaimed the merits of nanoscale propellants and how they would serve to increase velocity of bullets.

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"Hmm that sounds interesting I winder if my bolt could handle the increased pressure?"

As Sahara  wondered she heard Mike turn on the water and get in the tub.

She heard splashing noises that indicated he was probably playing with the small plastic tug boat in the water.
That was a good sound to hear. As long as mike had some semblance of happiness she could relax a little.