Melancholic Quest part 2

You consider knocking, but what if it's an intruder? That would just send them running off...if you there's a chance to be helpful then you would be more then glad to accept it. If it's just one of the guys, you'll apologize for the situation and a bit awkward but none the worst off. If it is an intruder or...or a pack of dogs or something...then you'll run off to get help.

In slow and calculating movements, you turn the door knob. Unlike before it turns easily...too easily. It seems like the lock had been roughened up rather then unlocked.

The door pushes out with ease, a major surprise to you. You dare to open it just a crack, keeping an ear open for any sudden noises. Greeted with nothing unusual, you push the door open a bit more. You make sure your knife is in reach, ready to pull out in a moment's notice...

The room is bigger then you thought it would be, much darker too. You see that the windows had been painted over years earlier. Stacks of desks and chairs are pushed in, creating a dusty maze. With silent steps you creep in, kneeling behind the desks for coverage. You're ready to stand up, you feel ridiculous. Whoever was in here must have left...

Just as you are about to stand up you hear the flipping of pages behind a tall stack of desks, by the wall.
Do you try to be sneaky and investigate further or leave? You figure it's not anyone from outside the group.
Okay...you will carefully sneak over and take a peek at who it is.

As you approach your mind races with the different possibilities. Maybe it'll be something like an old teacher, locked away at school harboring and honing their knowledge, awaiting a new student to teach.

Or...or maybe it's the Jersey Devil...waiting for you to approach on him and make you his long awaited next victim. You remember the older brother of your friends scaring you with stories of it...you couldn't sleep for a week after that.

Just a quick look, and then you'll run off when you see for sure what it is. You prepare yourself, heart beating like crazy. Peaking your head around the corner, you see...

...

Nobody?...

There is, however, an open trapdoor.

Walking carefully up, you can feel a freezing draft from the ground. The sound of papers flipping come up again, and you search for the source.

There's a sketchbook laying flat down, the blank white papers flipping back and forth with the draft. You pick up the large book and flip through it, it seems like no one has done anything in it ye-

PLOP

Flopping to the ground, you have discovered where your 'lonely housewives' magazine has went...

You rearrange everything back the way it's supposed to before looking at the trapdoor. It's dark inside, but there is a ladder leading down.
What do you do?
First you'll see if anyone is down there, then go tell someone what you found. It might be worth exploring, or at least making sure there's nothing hiding out inside.

"Anyone down there?" You call out, not too loudly, but your voice travels easily, echoing in the depth below.

See, nothing down there...no need to be scared. Now to find someone bigger and braver then you to explore it and it'll be fine.

A loud crashing noise from below makes your heart skip a beat.

Okay, no. Nope. Nope nope nope nope.

Slamming down the door, you can hear someone climbing up the ladder. You consider standing on top of the door to keep it closed, but then you would be stuck holding in whoever is there...

Instead, you push a stack of two desks over top the door. Standing back, you await to see how well it holds...

You can hear the door wiggling, and then banging against it.

Looks like, at least for now, it will hold. It still scares the hell out of you though.

Running back to the main room, you look around for someone to tell, someone that could help...you can't focus. Your heart is beating too much.

"What's up missy? You've looked like you seen a ghost." John walks by, carrying a box.

"I found a d-d-door...a door in the ground! I think there's s-s-somebody inside...!" You try to get your words out in a coherent structure.

"And how would you know that?"
"I trapped them inside!"

A minute later you and John are standing in front of the trap door, flash light in his hands. There's silence as you two stand there...

"If someone's there you better say something before I get in there."

As soon as John speaks the banging on the door starts anew, the desks violent shaking. You see his hand reach for his pocket, and you notice a knife much larger then yours stored inside.

"Alright...I'm gonna see what this is...if something grabs me go run for help, okay?" You nod and watch him approach the desks. Slowly he slides them away...

When the door swings open you jump back, hand on your own knife.

"Jesus Christ!" You see John kick at whoever is coming out, and there's the sound of them falling back down the ladder. John shines his light down the hole, and starts apologizing.

"Oh...oh man...I am so sorry..."

Your heart can't stop its rapid beating as you await to see the person climbing back up the ladder.
.... ...

Lawrence hangs over the edge of the opening, covered in dust, cobwebs, and holding on to his now bloodied nose.

A few minutes later you're standing above the opening, looking in. Dim lights are shinning inside, but soon enough they come back up. John and Sam emerge out, dusting themselves off.

"Well...it's pretty dirty down there but it's well built. Definitely a bunker of some sort." Sam says this as he brushes himself off.

"So is it safe to go down there?" You look back down the hellish looking hole.

"Well...so long as no one traps you in there with desks, then sure it it." John smirks over at Lawrence sitting back on a desk, bright red tissues surrounding him and one against his nose.

"There was some boxes down there, didn't take a look inside. Might be some supplies though, if you would like to look for us at some point." Sam picks his crutch up. You're honestly not sure how he managed to climb the ladder...

Do you offer to explore the bunker now or later?
"Yeah, I'll go down now." John passes the flashlight on to you.
"Thanks missy. Just keep an eye out, nothing's gonna cave in on you but the floor isn't completely flat either." John looks over at Lawrence.

"I've told you man, we really need to get ya a bell or something." Lawrence responds with a glare as he changes his soaked tissue for a new one. "Hey at least I didn't break it! Look, I owe you a nice dinner or something, alright? Drinks on me, that kinda thing."

You thank John and Sam for their help and peer down the hole again.

"Kinda scary...but I guess the monster is already out..." You glance up at him as you say this, a side grin on your face. A balled up tissue is thrown at you.

"Sorry about...you know...trapping you in there. I got scared." You start to climb down the ladder. "I heard noises coming from inside and I thought maybe someone had broken in..." You jump down the last few rungs, landing to your feet easily.

"But now I'm gonna have to ask...why were you alone in here?" You wait for Lawrence to come down the ladder, twisted up tissue plugging his nose. You hold the flashlight for him as he writes.

I just wanted to take some time to get some sketches done. I'm really camera shy about that stuff...I can't focus with people watching. And when you draw, suddenly everyone wants to watch.

Well...that explains the sketchbook. But what about the magazine...

You look around the cavern. The ceiling is pretty low, but the room makes up for it in length. It could easily hold a group ten times your size. Well...that may be a bit much...but it is rather big. There are a few stacks of boxes along the edge of the wall. A few of them have fallen over...probably from when you scared Lawrence.

"Here, you can just hold the flashlight for me." You pass it over and start on the first box.

"Why would this be in a classroom...do you know?"

You open the box, pulling out folded and musky blankets.

Sam mentioned that this may have been an add on after the school was built. This might have been one of the few places they could have put it in after construction was finished.

You shake out the blankets, they smell a bit funny but it looks like they will be fine to use.

What do you want to talk about as you go through the boxes?
"Oh alright, that makes sense..." You set the box of blankets by Lawrence, in a to-take-up pile, and move on to the next one.

"So...how does the magazine help with that?"

You take a glance at him as you open the box. From what little light there is you can see that his face has turned a deep shade of red and there's a long pause before he begins writing.

The box in front of you seems to be full of canned food. Dusty canned food. You read the label.

Sardines

No...nooooooooo. You pull out can after can of this. Sardines, it's all sardines. You shove the box away in disgust. You start on the next box when you are given an answer.

Once again, crossed out words and sentences litter the page.

That was just -crossed out words- I picked it up and decided to -crossed out words- keep it for -crossed out words- studying later.

"You mean for like...your drawing stuff right?"

Something like that.

It feels like he weaseled his way out of the answer. You decide to focus on the boxes instead. Maybe you should ask someone else what those magazines are for later, maybe Jessica will know.

"Um...what do you think about this place? Do you think it could be useful?" As you move the box closer to the light, and see what appears to be a penny underneath the box. Picking it up, you notice that it's a little...strange.

It's a bit bigger then a usual penny, and there's a side portrait of a young girl. Flipping it over, you see the raised up words;

To my dearest Amy

You would feel bad leaving it there, so you slip it into your pocket.

It could be useful for storage. But what I'm thinking is that if we get unexpected visitors again then this can either be used as a hiding place or a way to trap them inside till we can figure out what to do with them.

You read this part and are given another note.

That last part sounded more ominous then I intended, but you know what I mean.

The box in front of you is filled with nonperishable medical supplies; bandages, gauze, that sort of thing. Moving it to the take-up pile, you're ready to open another box but enter into a violent sneezing fit.

It's probably too dusty in here for you, take a breather for a bit and then you can keep exploring later.

You agree, rubbing your nose. With Lawrence's help you get the three boxes up the ladder. He lets you carry the one with the blankets and they are brought to the main room.
===========================DIVIDER===========================
As you set down the box, Jessica comes up to you.

"Hey, I was going to take Lisa with me and Mable and Aria, we were going to go and try and get to some showers a few blocks away, do you want to come along?"
"That sounds great actually."
"Good, cause you and Lawrence look like you need one badly." Jessica pulls off a web from your hair. "He'll have to go with the guys though."

You thank Lawrence for the help and grab clean clothes to change in to. Soon you rush to the other girls, ready to head out. Everyone is dressed in their warmest clothes.

"Alright John, we're headin' out." Mabel calls out and John waves her off. She leads the way and the group walks into the unforgiving cold. In a single file line you all walk, Mabel leading the way and Aria bringing up the rear. The wind is freezing and you can't be more thankful when you guys arrive at the community center. You just follow as Mabel leads you in. There aren't many people here, as expected. You're surprised the place is even open with the weather being so bad. She motions for you all to follow her, and you sneak past the check in desk.

"Showers and locker room should be right about...here we go!" Mabel opens the door and you all file in. There are benches and lockers, two showers with cheap curtains open and awaiting.

"Looks like we'll need to take turns." Mabel sits down on the bench, removing her shoes and socks. "You go first Aria."

"Lisa needs help, so I'll go in with her, will you help dry her off when she's done so I can shower?" Jessica asks as she helps the little girl remove her many layers of clothing.

"Yeah, sure." You say this and Aria throws a towel at you.

"I didn't see one on you, I hope you don't mind using one of mine."

"Oh, no thank you!"

You're immediately flustered as you see Aria and Jessica start to undress in front of you. They're talking with Mable like it's no big deal. You can't help but compare their bodies.

Jessica doesn't really have curves to her body, she's more straight...till her breast. You couldn't tell as well with clothes, but you feel like they are rather big, light freckles going down her body.

Aria on the other hand is more petite, her thin waist giving her slight hour glass figure, though she seems less...endowed.

How...how is your body going to end up?

The girls step into their showers and you hear the water running.

"So, what's up chick?" Mabel asks.
"Ah it's n-nothing!" Was she calling you out for staring at everyone? You just...you never really seen naked bodies in person aside from your own.

"Aw c'mon, don't be shy. You look like you got something to say." Mabel takes out some nail polish remover, taking off her chipped paint.

"Um alright well...why do guys like those magazines...with the naked girls in them?" You await an answer, hearing Mable stifle in her giggles.

"Pfft...you mean like what the boys found earlier?...God I laughed my ass off." She can't help but let it out now, speaking her words between laughter. "They probably just thought it would be neat to look at some tits, I don't think they were actually gonna to rub one out right there."

"So uh...could you use one for studying?"

What the hell does rub-one-out mean?

"Who told you that?"

"Well uh...L-Lawrence...I think I found one of those magazines with ladies laying around n-naked...hidden in his sketchbook. He told me it was for study..." You feel bad throwing him under the bus, but you just need to understand.

Mabel's body shakes...she's trying her best to not burst out in further laughter.

"You know-....he was lying-...when he said that-...right?" She's trying to keep her voice steady. This is extremely entertaining for her.

"T-then what are they used for?..."

You see a grin spread on her face.

It feels like you're about to be bullied.

"Donchu masturbate?"

"E-excuse me...?" You've heard that word before, but you can't really connect it to a meaning, but the word feels rather crude.

"Ya know, touch yourself when no one is around? Don't you do it?"
The shade of your face resembles that of a cherry and Aria pokes her head out.

"MA-BLE! Don't bully her!" Aria looks concerned for your well being.

"Hey relax! It's not bullying-"

It is

"At her age, you need to know this stuff. If you don't then you either end up all fucked up and confused or people end up taking advantage of you!"

Mable and Aria go back and forth for a bit before Mabel reminds her that there is still soap in her hair. Her focus is now all on you.

"So?"

"I...I well um..." You feel like you know where she means, and you're scared to give an answer. What if it's weird? Is she going to judge you? What...what if its weirder if you don't? What should you say?

A snap and a finger pointing at you brings back your attention.

"Trick question! Everyone does!" Mable is still grinning as she says this, and you just let her speak.

"It's natural! Everyone enjoys a little personal massage from handy once in a while! It's how ya know that you're like...normal! You touch yourself, then you get feelings of wanting to touch other people, and then you discover you have sex drive! T-O-T-A-L-L-Y normal!"

You feel a mixture of relief and overwhelm wash over you.

"Some people can just go in and get it done, but that get's boring, sometimes you need some...'stimulation', to help get the motor goin', ya know? If he had a Playboy or whatever, you can bet he wasn't reading it for the articles. Not that it's weird that he would have something like that. It'd be weirder if he had absolutely no interest in that kinda stuff, especially for a guy his age that's still carrying around his v-card."

"A uh...v-card?..."

Mabel holds up her fingers in a v-shape.

"Virginity, he's never done 'it'. Now don't go tellin' no one, maybe he wants to keep a cool reputation around, but I got him to spill the beans once when we had a drinking night. It takes a whole lot, but once he's drunk that guy is all loose-lipped...well...you know what I mean."

So...that means that you aren't a virgin...right? You've heard that word before...in books and movies.

A virgin bride. Something everyone wants to marry.

That will never be you now.

Before you can dwell too much in your own misery, Aria comes out of the shower.

Do you shower now or let Mabel go first?
"Y-you can go first..." You need to...think about stuff for a moment.

"Thanks kid." Mabel gets up and undresses as Aria gets her own clothes.

You can see that Mabel is more...stocky. She obviously has a body of a lady, but there's that feeling of 'masculine' there, a more square shape to her physique. She exits into the shower soon enough and in a moment you see Lisa running out, laughing. Jessica pops out for a moment.

"Ah...alright you know what, she's clean enough. Just get her dried and dressed for me if you would!" She goes back in, and Aria sits next to you, a towel in hand.

"Get over here Miss Cheeks~" She calls for Lisa, who runs over to her.

"Sorry about Mabel, that was a bit of a brash talk there..." Lisa giggles as Aria dries her off. "But she is right, you don't want anyone taking advantage of you, and you shouldn't feel ashamed about anything."

Too late...

"If you don't mind, I feel like I should add in that when you do decide to do...uh...'it'..., make sure it's with someone you like enough. You don't have to stay with them forever, but just try and make your first time special. You'll appreciate at that later."

...

Aria begins getting Lisa's clothes on.

"How...how do people take advantage of you...for 'it'?"

"Well..." Aria thinks about it as she pulls up Lisa's pants.

"They might try and say they love you, but then hold that love hostage till you give in. Like, it's important to have 'it' in a relationship, but no one should force or pressure you into it. Uh lets see..."

"What if they like...physically force you to? Against your will?"

Toweling her hair, Aria covers Lisa's ears and looks at you in the eyes.

"Then, it's not sex and it's definitely not love. It's rape."

Is there anything you want to ask her before you shower?
"If its rape..." The word sounds ugly and harsh as it rolls off your tongue.
"Does that mean that someone will still love me?..."

Your eyes are focused to the front...did you really mean to say it out loud? But now...now you have a word for it.

If you see those people again...when you see those people again...

You'll make sure they know that word. How such an ugly word has hurt you.

In a moment you are pulled into a close embrace.

"O-h Bunny..." It sounds like she's in tears. Why is she crying?

"I...I can't imagine something so awful...happening to such a sweet girl like you?" She squeezes you tighter.

"Of course someone will love you like they should. You already have good friends now...if someone judges you for something like that then they're no good, you understand? You find someone that will make you forget all that...all that pain you went through...No matter what anyone says you are not disgusting or worthless and never, ever let them tell you its your fault."

You hear the water in Jessica's shower stop, but all you can really focus on is the affection being given to you.
"You can still get through life...despite all this...it may be dark and scary now but just keep looking for the sunshine..."

You can help but squeeze her back. Jessica is standing in front of you two, a towel wrapped around her body.

"Um...you can have it now Bunny..." She offers the empty stall. You know everyone in here heard this, but for some reason it doesn't bother you.

"T-thanks..." You pull away, unsure if that was for Aria or Jessica. Aria smiles sadly as you. Just like everyone else you undress out there and go into the shower. A bottle of shampoo has been left for you by Jessica.
What are some goals you wish to accomplish? Either soon or in the future?
You turn the knob, warm water hitting your body. Instead of cleaning, you find yourself thinking.

What is it...what is it that you want right now? Different voices in your head chime in all at once, creating a muddled and mixed answer.

You want vengeance.

You want answers.

You want to happiness.

You want to ask why.

You want your family to know how much you have suffered.

You want love.

The water rushes down your body and into the drain. You focus on your body now.

Your thankful that your 'bleeding' has stopped, but you fear for when it will happen again. Hands come up to cup your chest. It seems like they're growing, but for now they fill your palm...you're kinda scared to have big ones. Your hands trail down to your stomach, fingers brushing over your bite. It seems like the two bumps will always be there...

You notice that your hips are wider then they were last year. Have you gained weight or something? You're a bit embarrassed...it feels like it only goes to your sides and thighs. But...maybe this is your body? How you will look when you get older? Is...is this attractive? You also take notice of your 'tuff'...it's a darker shade then your hair but not as dark as your eyebrows. When it first started to grow in you thought it was weird but now...well now you see it's normal. Your height...you're shorter then Jessica but will you always be this way? Will you one day shoot taller then her?

Just what will your future self be like?

You quickly finish washing yourself, hearing Mabel leave a bit before you. Dressed up, you let Aria dry your hair.

"If you go out with it soaked then you'll freeze!" Everyone is talking like normal before, despite the conversation just minutes ago. Once everyone is ready to leave, you all stand outside the locker room, waiting for the front desk lady to look away so you can sneak out again.

As you're waiting, you see a police officer come up and start talking to her.
You don't recognize him, but you remember the missing ad from the papers.
what do you do?
"Jessica..." You whisper to her, ducking behind the taller girls.

"What is it?"

"I...we need to leave...now..."

"What's that? What's up?" You attract Mabel and Aria's attention, and Jessica takes over.

"We can't let Bunny get caught, her mom put a missing persons report. If that officer recognizes her then she might have to go back..."

Mabel looks back at the two having a conversation and huddles you all together.

"Alright, listen kid, that's the beanie you wore from home, right? Switch me." Mabel removes her hat, a newsboy style cap, and switches you for the beanie. Aria comes up from behind, pulling up your hair into a bun, while Mabel buttons your coat up and pops the collar.

"You're lucky he's letting you use this, Lawrence loves this coat. Alright...there." They look back and observe their work.

"How's that? Way different from the missing poster?"

"Yeah...yeah I think so."'

"Alright, stay in the middle. We're just going to rush outta here."

Soon Lisa is running for the front door, squealing and giggling. The other girls run 'after' her, you in the middle.

"H-hey, you girls need to sign out!" The woman at the desk stands up, the cop looking over. Jessica and Aria push you out the door as Mabel does damage control.

"Sorry ma'am! Gotta get our little sis first, then we'll sign out!" Before the woman can object any further she joins your group again.

"Alright run like hell!" Your group runs back towards the school the best you can, stopping only when you are a few blocks away in safety.

You girls stop to catch your breath, and Aria points at your hair.

"If you like...we can try to do something about this...back at the school..." She pants between breaths.
If you do want to change your hair, how do you want it?
The prospect of cutting your hair doesn't sound appealing to you, but you know that if doing so helps you hide then it will be for the better.

"C-...can you just do a bit of a trim? M-maybe just...cut it in a bit of a different style?"

Aria smiles wide.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

Once everyone has caught their breath, you make your way back to the school. Aria sits you down in a chair, wrapping one of the blankets you found around your body.

"Okay...now trust me. I will do a great job...probably."

"P-probably?"

"W~ell..." You hear her snip the scissors in her hands. "I didn't get to this part in my class. Mabel and Jessica are sitting front of you, watching the process happen.

"The picture in the paper, your hair was way longer then..." Jessica says as you feel clumps of your locks fall to the ground. "Why'd ya cut it short?"
"I grew it long when I was younger...well...more like my mother made me grow it long. She never wanted a son, and I guess she wanted to make sure I was going to be as girly as possible..."

SNIP SNIP

"But it was always so hot in the summer, and a pain to take care of. Even now it sucks getting all the tangles out...but mom wouldn't let me cut it. So I thought it would be a good idea to do it myself. She was so mad."

"Oh man, I could never cut mine." Jessica runs her fingers through hers.

"Short ain't so bad, less to worry about." Mabel adds in before looking back at you. "If this don't work, maybe you should consider dying it? Maybe black, like your eyebrows. "

You nod and feels Aria brush the stray hairs from your neck.

"There...just like you said. Not too much, but now you won't be as easy to recognize. " Aria sets her tools down to grab a mirror. You feel a new breeze at the nape of your neck. The time it takes to get the mirror is nerve-wracking. You nearly pull it out of her hands just to get a look.

...

Well...

For now, you can live with it.

…
==============DIVIDER===========================================

Jessica goes back to see what the boys are doing while Mabel and Aria go to help out with the washing the new blankets.

As far as you can tell, everyone is here and just moving around, and the pain in your head is still there but nothing terrible.
What do you want to do?
While lamenting the loss of so many of your golden locks, you see John pass by and you remember seeing the knife he had.

Maybe...just maybe...he would be willing to teach you how to properly use one? You trail behind him, trying to figure out how to ask when he spins around, nearly making you run into him.

"What you need, missy?" John is older then Lawrence, but it doesn't look like he's the same age as Sam, if anything he would probably be the same age as your dad.

"I know this might be a bit...weird...but I was hoping to ask if uh..." You pull out your own knife, holding it up in your palm.

"Would...you teach me how to use this?..." The knife is snatched out of your palm as John begins inspecting it, flipping out the blade and inspecting it closely.

"You call this a knife? This ain't a knife, it's an accident waiting to happen."

"What?"

"This thing looks like the blade's gonna fall off any time you swing it open. Plus the damn thing wiggles like crazy when you do have it out, the blade is dull, the plastic handle is cracked...nah I ain't teaching you this."

"B-but I need to learn how to use it!" You're shocked when John tosses it to the ground, kicking it away. "Wait I need that!"

John motions for you to follow him, leading you over to his area. You watch as he kneels down, rummaging through his items.

"I assume you'll want this for self-defense, yeah? This might be a bit easier for ya." In your Palm John sets down a folded pocket-knife, but this one is much different then your previous one. The handle is shiny, a golden bezel around the red wood. You pull it open, finding it opens smoother then your previous one.

"There, now I can teach you. Let's see...there's a room waithout much in there, I think the window lets in enough light too." You follow John, and he begins by showing you the proper way to open the knife and the importance of cleaning it.

"Now, before we begin the big stuff, lemme tell you. If you're ever in a situation like this, your best option is always to run, not fight, you got it? This is a last minute defense sorta thing." You acknowledge this and John begins. You learn how to properly hold the knife and keep your grip on it.

"Now...if you need to attack someone, chances are they're going to be taller then you. Aiming your thrust up is the best option then, make sense? Doesn't really matter where, but try to get him in the torso. If you're really scared for your life, and they give you a chance, then try the neck or eyes." You grimace at this thought but take it in. John lets you practice against him with the knife closed.

"Alright, just take that in for today, I gotta get started on dinner, don't go stabbing anyone, okay?" You thank John for his time and he returns to his duty.

Maybe it's from the stress of earlier or all the practicing...but your head hurts more.

You have a new knife now and have learned some self defense. It's about 5 PM, what do you want to do?
Your cravings...you need to figure them out. How are you going to live life, knowing that you'll always be needing to find your next...'victim'. It's not like you can really go outhunting or anything right now either...
What an awful way to describe it.

As far as you know, Lawrence is the only one who completely knows. And Jessica...she only knows that there is something wrong with you. What if she lets you feed from her somehow, and you do end up with her sickness? What about other people, what if you feed from them and don't realize they have some awful disease too? Your body would be in even worse shape then...

Could you maybe try animal blood? It seems like a long shot, but it would be surely be much easier to acquire...

Tomorrow, it may be worth trying to get some when shops are open. But for now...

Maybe Lawrence would let you do it again.

You search for him, Marilyn lets you know that he's in one of the close by class rooms.

You're little worried about barging in after your talk with Mabel...but you open the door to find him sitting as a desk, sketchbook and pencil at hand. You close the door and he gives you a greeting.

"I'm sorry to have to ask this again...but can...can I um..."

You need to 'eat'?

You nod shamefully and he closes his sketchbook. What was he drawing...

Okay but I've been wondering.

"What about?"

You probably shouldn't do it from my stomach again, but how do you plan to actually get the blood out? Do you use your teeth or what?

How are you going to do it?
You've never really thought about this before. It probably wouldn't be easy to sink your teeth into someone's flesh, it would probably hurt like crazy.

"Well uh...there was that box of medical supplies in the basement, right? Maybe there's another one down there will like, needles. That would make it a lot easier and less...weird..." You say that, but you're not really convinced that last part is true.

I hate needles but that would probably work.

Soon you find yourselves opening the bunker again. You can't help but remember him hiding the magazine...which means he still has it...
You focus your attention on heading down instead.

"Thanks for letting me do this...I'm kinda surprised you said yes so easily..." You get to the bottom and catch the flashlight, illuminating the way for Lawrence.

I don't think anyone else would be too willing. Don't worry, you owe me a favor for it later.

"Wait...a favor? " Lawrence pushes past to the boxes before you can find out anything more. Quickly you skim through the contents of the boxes. There's only one more with medical supplies. A box of syringes catches your eye, but to your dismay they don't seem to have the needles with them. You dig through the box, but there doesn't seem to be the matching needles...were they in the other box?

"I...I can't find any...I think I'll have to use..." You pull out your knife.

This means you'll have to make a cut...

Lawrence takes the knife from you, pulling out his lighter. You watch him heat up the end of it, before putting away the light.

Would you rather do this part, or me?
"W-wait...no wait, I'm sure I can get a needle from Sam, I'll just tell him it's for Jessica or something!" As you are about to go to the ladder, Lawrence draws the knife over his forearm.
A thin red line of blood bubbles up and drips over, and he offers it to you.

That sweet smell fills the air again.

...

You decide to have him sit against the wall and you kneel in front of him. Carefully you place your mouth over the cut. It's so great...the rush hits your head instantly...

Your head and body starts to tingle...aha...

As you get your 'meal', you notice once again that Lawrence isn't watching you...which is probably for the best...

The flow isn't too great, but it's more then enough. You feel a hand trying to push back your shoulder but you press in deeper. More...the feeling of wanting more...

Your hands tighten around his arm as you drink harder, fresh blood pouring down your mouth and down your throat. You can't help but feel yourself biting...wanting to make it bigger...allow even more to flow out...

You fall back on your ass. You were pushed back this time, why? You weren't done, there's more you want, more of the sweet taste. Your head...nah...your mind feels amazing...like you're floating. You can't even really see straight. You are angry though...angry that you were stopped...you crawl back over. You will have more, you will get your fill. You will end up on cloud 9 and never float back down, this amazing feeling will last, you want it to.

Your mouth latches on to his arm again and you can feel blood flowing out once more, but your pulled back.

"Stop doing th-" As you speak you can feel an excess of blood drip from your mouth...Lawrence looks pale and he's breathing pretty hard...

You want more but part of you feels wrong.
What do you do?
You should stop this, you really need to. This...this could kill him. Literally draining the life out of him, you feel out of control. You need to snap out of this.

The lingering sweetness in your mouth begs otherwise.

For once, you feel good, and now someone wants to stop it. That's not fair, don't you deserve to feel good for once? Shouldn't you get the chance to indulge at another person's expense?

No...deep breaths. You count down as you do it, timing your inhales and exhales with each one. Your tongue licks at your lips.

That was a mistake.

The lingering blood brings back that instinct from deep down inside once again, like a wonderful shocking feeling. Your sights are set on the cut bleeding out to the floor.

Stop it

Your mouth latches on to his arm once more.

No

You can feel the man underneath you shaking. It doesn't matter, you have that wonderful taste coming again. Your grip tightens, your whole body weighing down to keep in place. You take your mouth off just to catch your breath, and he takes the chance.

In an instant you are on your back, hands pressed above your head by one of his. You don't even register this, the movement from being pushed back causes a kaleidoscope of motion that delight you.

More. You try to sit up, but the man keeps you held down.

No...you don't want to stay down...forced down...

Ah...forced...you're being forced down...

A man is forcing you down...this isn't right...you should be up...you want to get up...

You struggle more but you are held in place. Your knee is brought up, you try to kick yourself away. That only tightens the grip on your hands and the tightness in your chest.

Too much...there's too much going on...

You're suffocating...

You don't want to be here...

No words can push out, only a sound that is a mix of a scream and a sob. Your struggling increases more...you can tell the man is weak...just keep hitting him till he lets you go...

You're too out of it...your limbs, body, and mind are too tingly. You feel your vision starting to become unfocused, your mind disconnected too much from your body. Only instinct keeps you moving, but your mind begins to fade out.

"Don't hurt me..."

...

You wake up with a heavy weight atop of your body. The feeling of breathing...it's a man's body...your hands are free...the man seems collapsed...no...no Lawrence...it's Lawrence who is collapsed...it's his body and his heavy breathing in your ear...dammit...your head feels good...


What will you do?
Fuck.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

You shake his shoulders a bit.

"L-...fuck...Lawrence?..." It's difficult to talk, like you are all tongue tied. There's no response above you. With all your might to push on his shoulders. He rolls over to his back with a thud. Kneeling above, you start to tap at his cheek.

"H-hey...up...get up..." You struggle to keep your words straight. Lawrence's eyes are half open but they don't seem too...too alive...shit...

He's breathing though...

You pick up his arm. The blood has already begun to clot, the once bright red turning a dried brown. There's the slight imprint from your mouth and the area is red from your force but...but it doesn't look like you bit him hard enough to break skin. It smells gr-no, no keep focused. You...you feel sick...like you've drank too much...overindulged...

Help...you should get him help. Who can help...S-...Sam...he can help...he's smart. You need to...up the ladder, go up the ladder...back to where everyone is...and get help. Yes okay...that's a good plan.

You begin to stand, your limbs all shaky, but a tug on your arm pulls you down. You're greeted by the exhausted and pale face of Lawrence.

"Ah...you...I need to get you...help..." As you say this he licks his thumb and brings it up to your face, weakly pressing against your lip. He rubs your bottom lip and chin...right...right the blood...he's making sure you don't have any more blood..smart...smart man.

"I'll get him...get Sam..." The corners of his mouth raise up just enough to give an impression of a grin and nods at you to go. You rush to the ladder...careful...careful you can't walk straight...

Up the ladder, up up up...don't slip. Running down the hall. Trip...ouch...get back up...

Sam...Samsamsamsamsamsamsamsam-

"Sam!" He looks up as you nearly shout from across the room, stumbling in.

"What's wrong?"
What do you say?
"Lawrence...he's hurt...Lawrence is in basement....!" Keep calm...think calmly about the words you want to say.

"Wait what? What's wrong with him?" Sam gets up, crutch at hand.

"He...he needs help..." He's going to wonder how Lawrence got this way. Doesn't matter now, need to get him help.

"Alright alright I'm coming, go ahead and I'll follow right beh-"

Before Sam finishes you rush back, running down the hall and to the classroom. You trip into the door way but ignore the pain of hitting your head. Down the ladder...go go down the ladder..

You nearly jump half way down.

"L-Lawrence! Sam here...to help!" You run to where you had been, but he isn't there any more. Where...where did he go? Oh no...no no...

"L-Lawrence! Where...where are you?" You shout, looking around. It's not like he could hide. Where's Sam?

You rush back up the ladder. Ruining everything...you keep ruining everything...

Back into the hall...there's Sam. He's talking...talking to Lawrence...

Lawrence! He's up...he got up...did you run past him? Maybe...maybe you didn't see him in your hurry...

You approach them, watching your step. Can't trip anymore.

"...-you really need to be careful, this is the second time you've been hurt today!" Sam is...scolding Lawrence? Wait...you should be scolded. As you walk up Sam notices and gestures towards you.

"I mean, look! You scared her nearly to death! Poor girl can't even speak correctly, she was so scared you must have died or something!"

What? What's happening.

Sam sighs and shakes his head. "I don't mean to lecture, I just worry about you sometimes boy. Come by and I'll give you some supplements to get you back to your feet properly, alright?"
Lawrence nods weakly and Sam walks back.

Lawrence looks back at you, dried blood covering his left arm. He doesn't look mad or upset...just...tired.
What do you do or say?
"Sorry...I'm sorry..." You feel tired...incredibly tired. It's as if your body has gone through marathon after marathon. Your eyes are fluttering as you try to keep them open.

A warm feeling rises in your body. You want to collapse. You nearly do. Body is swaying...just stay awake.

"I don't know why...what happened...feeling took me..."

Chest hurts. You grab at it.

"Monster...deep down inside me...came out...wasn't...wasn't me...wasn't me doing that..."

Aha...you're going to cry again. You want to run away.

Coward.

A few uneasy steps back, steady yourself. Your head is a mixture of thoughts and you can't see what any of them are.

"I owe you...owe you big favor..."

How the hell are you going to make this up?

Pathetic. You're crying.

"I'm s-sorry..." Can't stop the tears now. Your body is swaying too much...you're either going to fall or collapse.

...

Warm...embrace. You're not going to fall. You're being held.

Your hands come up and cling to the shoulders holding you.

"Sorry...I'm sorry..." The only words you can focus on. Your hair is being stroked...feels nice...you want to feel nice again.

"I'll make it up...I will..." You hold on tighter. Two embraces in a day...you missed this...you miss being held...you miss the warmth...you miss the feeling on the person wanting you to be there...to be alive...

"I'll...I'll..."

You are going to have to do something huge to make this up.

What do you try to offer?
Your mind wracks over all the possible things you could promise him, but none of them are feasible...none of them worthy of being the repayment for the debt you now owe him.

...

An idea strikes you but...

"If...if I don't come up with something...by tomorrow night...I k-know what I'll do..."

You're so tired now. You just want to sleep and sleep for days. Right here would be nice.

No...you need to sleep in bed. The floor. Whatever.

"B-but...but right now...I n-need to sleep..."

Your head is just...what the hell is wrong with you...dizzy...too much...too too much...

You lean further into the hug.

"D-don't hate me...please..." You can't stop your eyes from closing.

As they close, you hear that raspy and hushed voice.

"I...don't."

...

You're warm for once.

...

Aha...you're still a monster though.

What kind of family did you dream of having when you grew up?
Honestly, you never had too grand of dreams for the future.
You just wanted a loving family. A nice husband, who would kiss you good morning and good night. A few children that you could shower with love and praise. Pets to tie it all together.

Yes...a husband...a nice strong one. Maybe something important and good...a police officer. He would come home every night in his uniform and you would greet him...your children would run up to welcome him home. Your children would always be happy. You would work on your writing in your downtime and spend the rest of it with them.

But you aren't the type of person who would have a happy family. If anything, you would be the one to ruin it. You would tear it apart by the teeth.

And there's nothing you can do to stop it.

...

You wake up by the feeling of licking at your face...

You reach up and feel Buttercup. Petting her, she settles down against you.

...

This...isn't your usual spot. There's actually something soft beneath your head. There's actually a blanket over you.

There's someone breathing next to you.

Flipping over, you see Lawrence is sleeping just a few inches away from you.

Behind your head, you see Marilyn sleeping with her arms crossed and curled up in a chair. It looks like you guys were pulled away a bit from the rest of the sleeping group...

Ah...that's right...you were all messed up...and Lawrence...

Sam probably just wanted to keep an eye on you. It's like sleeping in the nurses office. Except...everyone else in class is also asleep a few feet away from you. Or...something like that...yeah.

You lay on your back.

...

Tomorrow...is going to be rough...

...

After eating breakfast, what's the first thing you want to do?
You wake up to Marilyn nudging your shoulder.
"Hey...you're not dead...right?"

"No...no I'm alive..."

"Good, otherwise Buttercup would be sad and so would I." She passes you a plate as she says this, two fried eggs ready for you.

Sitting up, you eat in your 'bed'...Lawrence seems to be up and about somewhere already. Marilyn sits by you while you eat.

"Pappy told me to make sure you eat every bite, if I don't then I wouldn't be a very good nurse." She gives you a stern look, encouraging you to push past the strange taste they leave in your mouth. You don't feel like you're sick just...just not as good as you felt during your little 'trip' last night. As soon as you finish the last bite, what looks like vitamins are passed on to you.

"Take these now, they're supposed to...um...put stuff back in your body? I think...I forget what Pappy said. Sorry they aren't the chewy Flinstone kind..." It takes some effort and a lot of water, but you manage to get them down.

"Bleh...oh, do you know what day it is?"

Marilyn has to think about it.

"It's...umm...oh! Sunday the uh...the eleventh."

You thank her and she dashes off.

A butcher's shop would be open...right? It should be...you wonder if you would be able to get your animal blood that way. You can't go alone though, and whoever you tag along with will want to know why the hell you need something like that...

Do you want to try and ask someone to go with you? What will you tell them?
Lawrence would probably be glad to help you get animal blood if it meant you wouldn't have to do...that...any more. You look around but you can't find him anywhere. It looks like some of the other guys are gone too...

"You look a bit lost missy, what's up?" John is carrying a large stock pot from a different room, probably searched the cafeteria and kitchen for it.

"I uh...I was just looking for Lawrence..." You follow him as he takes it back to the rest of the kitchen supplies.

"Pretty sure he went with Eric and Kyle. We lost our generator at Good Hope, so they wanna try and see if there's another one they can snag us. That storm is really gonna hit us tonight, so we need to make sure and stock up before then." He pulls out a notepad and makes some notes. "In fact, I'm 'bout to head out myself. We need to get some basics for groceries. Unless, of course, you guys wanna eat sardines till the second coming."

Disgusting.

"Actually...I was hoping to um..."

You probably shouldn't say you're searching for blood.

"I was...hoping to buy some meat. For the group. I know fresh meat doesn't come easily..."

"Ah no way? If you do that I can whip up anything you want missy. We'd have to use it tonight, but we can just call it a house warming party." He pockets his list.

"Okay, go get dressed up in your warmest clothes. We're gonna be carrying back a good load, so I don't need ya freezing half way there, got it?"

Soon you have your coat and boots on. Mabel never asked for her hat back and she still has yours...it should be fine to wear it.

Outside, you make sure to walk in John's footsteps left behind in the snow. First you guys find vegetables, going for ones that are going to be thrown out later and you find out John is pretty great at haggling. Or...maybe it's the lady running the shop humoring him?...grown ups can be weird...

Beans and rice come next, big heavy bags full. John is wearing a hiking backpack, and you help stuff everything inside for him to carry. A loaf of bread. Eggs, you have to carry these. Two bottles of juice concentrate, one apple the other orange. A big sack of potatoes...you try to carry this but John takes this heavy burden from you.

"Alright, meat now right? I think the butcher's shop here has a cute cashier, let's head in there." John seems more eager then you do about this. Sure enough, he starts to chat the lady at the counter up. You look down the long displays of different cuts.

Beef...pork...lamb...goat...veal...venison?
What kind of meat do you want to buy for the group, and what kind of blood do you want to get?
"Excuse me ma'am...can I uh...get some pork?..."
"What kind and how much?"

Oh...you don't know enough about meat to give a proper answer.

"What were you hoping to make tonight missy?"

Oh thank god, John would know.

"Uh...soup?..."

"Lesse...we got rice and some stock...enough vegetables too...I think some pork and rice..." John begins looking down the rows of meat, investigating each one. The lady follows to assist him. A man comes from the back, writing down something by the phone.

"Uh, sir?..." This is your chance.

"Hmm?"

"I was...I hope this isn't weird...I was wondering if I could maybe...maybe buy some blood?..." What if you sound crazy. The man is looking at you like you are. Without a word he slips to the back and you start to think that he's just ignoring you.

However he soon comes back out, a white box in his hand. He places it on the counter and you can see something square and red inside.

"Is this?..."
"Coagulated pig blood. We get some Asian customers so we carry a few of these, you want it?"

"Ah...y-yes please! Ring it up with whatever that man down there chooses...if he ever does..."

John seems to be pretty elitist when it comes to choosing...you have to wait five minutes before he finally makes the choice for you. It rings up and you hand over your money....you note that you have about $120 left. Your purchase is wrapped up and placed in a bag, and soon the trek back to the school is in place. Careful steps into the premade footprints, you notice that it's beginning to snow again...the clouds look an angry dark color.

At the school you help John unload the supplies and you give him the meat, making sure to hide your newly purchased blood. He sets to work preparing the stew for tonight.

It looks like the guys are still gone, but most everyone else is here. The blood is in a bag in your hands.
What do you do?
You're not too sure if you could stand to eat the blood now...it might be best to wait till you are hungry or...craving again...hopefully that's not soon. You need to keep the blood cold though...meat spoils so blood will too...but there's no way to keep it chilled...

No...wait there is. Making sure no one watches, you sneak outside. The tree from yesterday...you will be able to find anything buried there easily enough. You keep the box wrapped up in plastic and paper before digging a hole into the snow. Carefully you set the pig's blood down and cover it up. You peel off a piece of bark from the tree to mark the spot.

Later...maybe later tonight you will try it. But for now...it should be safe...right?

Sneaking back in, you remove your boots and coat. Buttercup is curled up among the blankets...it would be nice to pet her again. You walk over to where she is and see that she has chosen Lawrence's usual sleeping place.

"Come on, don't dig around in there, it's rude..." As you pick her up, you spot the green cover of the sketch book peeking out from beneath a blanket.

...

"Don't you tell anyone, this is our secret, alright?" You whisper to Buttercup as you carefully remove the book and sneak off to a classroom. You feel guilty about this...

But you feel just a bit more curious.

Sitting Buttercup in your lap, you pull open the pages. You await for something to fall out...but there's nothing this time...only sketches.

You can see most of them are quick portraits...you can recognize some of them as the group. Most of them look like they were in the middle of doing a task...maybe he secretly did these. There are a few sketches that look more like illustrations and doodles...there's one detailed one of a lady wearing a sailor uniform sitting on an anchor. Her skirt seems rather...short though. Another flip of the page and you are greeted with a quick doodle of your own face. You almost didn't recognize it because of the hair...that means this one was recent. When did he do this. In the corner you see another small drawing...

...it's a cutesy rabbit with fangs and big eyebrows.

...

You decide that you need to return the book before he notices you took it. Ever so carefully you manage to slip it back into his space.

It's early in the afternoon, around 1:30. You remember that you need to figure out how to make it up to Lawrence by tonight...how stupid of you to promise that so soon.

Another thought occurs to you, you've told Jessica that you were 'sick', but you never really followed up to see what she thought...or if she even completely understood what you meant.
What do you do now?
You look for Jessica, finding her sat down and watching the kids play a card game with Marilyn.
"Hey...can I talk to you?" You ask and her face lights up.

"Well duh. They won't let me play anymore cause I'm a sore loser anyways. What's up?"

You glance at the kids, it would be best to not do it here.

"Can we um...not in front of them?..."

"Oh...oh yeah that's fine, just lemme..." Jessica catches their attention.

"Bunny needs me a for a second, so while I'm gone Marilyn is in charge, got it?"

There's a look of satisfaction on Marilyn's face when Jessica says this...power hungry...

"Here, in the hall should be fine." Jessica leads you away to a more secluded location, just far close enough to keep an eye on anyone coming by. You offer to let her hold Buttercup, which she gladly accepts.

"So...what's up? There's nothing wrong is there? Am I going to have to kick someone's ass?"

She makes this sound like it's going to be such a simple conversation...you wish it could be.

"Actually...do you remember when we were talking about your medicine? And...and I told you that I was sick too?..."

Jessica nods, Buttercup licking at her fingers.

"Yeah, I don't think you actually finished telling me bout it. But it sounds like pica or something."

"Pica?"

"Yeah, I remember hearing about it on TV. You like...get this weird need to get stuff. They had a lady on there who actually ate soil!"

She begins to grin.

"So, do you eat soil? What about glass? I think they even had a guy who liked to eat the tobacco from cigarettes!"

"I..." You feel like you're about to shatter her expectations.

"I...I feel sick if I don't eat blood..."

"What?"

You can feel her looking at you and it burns. Maybe...maybe this wasn't a good thing to do...maybe you shouldn't have said anything...

"Does anyone else know?..."

"Just Lawrence...and you now..."

"You're not going to hurt the kids, are you?" You quickly shake your head.

"What about the others? Do...do you think you'll end up...y'know, killing anyone?"
"No. I don't want to hurt people...I've only done it a few times before but...I don't think I've hurt anyone by drinking from them."

You think back to last night...though you guess that was more of a lack of control on your part...

"And I would rather not have to take it from someone who didn't want me to. I would...I would ask them permission. Like I've always asked Lawrence before I did it..."

Except for that one time...

"Whoa wait, you've like...tried Law's blood? How was it? Does it taste gross?" Jessica asks this like she's curious instead of disgusted.

"It uh...so far it changes depending on the person so far...a lot of them taste awful but his is like...sweet, but not like candy? More like...like a fruit or something, but then it leaves this bitter taste like medicine in my mouth..."

You feel strange describing the flavor of his blood.

"Does it like, do anything for you? Anything cool?"

"Well I don't feel any stronger, if that's what you mean...the most I've figured out is that...I think...my spit ends up like...healing the cuts up or something."

Why does it feel like she's asking you more about a cool toy?

"But what does happen is like, my head just kinda...spins. It doesn't sound exciting but when it is happenings its this weird and amazing feeling..." You feel yourself missing that rush...

"B-but! But I hate to do it. It's so gross...wanting to drink someone's blood. Later I'm going to try uh...p-pig's blood..."

Jessica wrinkles her nose at that. "Oh gross..."

"I know, but if that does it for me then it would be a lot easier then finding someone to leech off of..."

You read the expression on Jessica...she's not grossed out or angry looking...more like...excitedly curious. Like a child being given a new thing to pull apart and examine.

"So you think your spit can heal stuff, huh?"

"I think..."

You see Jessica pull off a band-aid wrapped around her middle finger, a fresh cut on it.

"Look...see I got an awful paper cut earlier today...it stings like crazy..."

Is she...?

"If you promise it won't hurt...do you want to try it?"
"O-okay...I'll try...I'm not putting my mouth on there though."
"Oh shoot that's right! I could get you sick!"

You could end up destroying her. If Lawrence wasn't so strong...

You put your thumb in your mouth.

"You seem pretty...okay with all this..." You say as you cover your thumb with spit.

"Are you kidding? This is exciting! I mean it's weird, yeah but it's also like...some kinda mystery too you know?" Jessica is holding out her finger, awaiting you.

Alright...here it goes...

You hold her hand and press your thumb lightly against the cut.

...

"H-hey...is this supposed to burn?..."

"What?"

"Yeah there's like...it feels like I'm burning..." Jessica suddenly flinches and pulls her hand away. "Owowowowow-"

"That's...I don't think it's supposed to do that...I-I'm sorry if I hurt you..."

Jessica looks over her cut.
"Nah it's fine, don't worry about it...I'll let you know if it changes later alright?"

As she covers the cut back up you give a sniff to your thumb.

There's a mix of something flowery and...and rotten.

"Oh, I promise not tell to anyone either. I figure you wanna keep this a secret."

"Well...I've kinda told Sam that there's something wrong with me...but I'm not sure how to actually tell him everything..."

"If you want I'll try to help you or something, alright? But for now..."

She sticks out her pinky.

"Our secret, yeah?"

You take her up on it, and Jessica looks over your shoulder.

"Hey, I think the guys are bac-CLARK YOU STOP PULLING HER PIGTAIL [B]RIGHT NOW[/B]"

Jessica is pretty loud...she apologizes for yelling and runs off to go control the kids.

Now...now two people know your secret.
What do you want to do now?
=====================================DIVIDER================
You watch as Lawrence helps Eric bring in a machine...it looks like a heater of some sort. Kyle follows behind, huge batteries in his arms. They try to set it up, John coming over to help but...it seems like it will need more work. Kyle and Eric bring out some tools and begin fiddling with it, looks like they are pushing Lawrence away. When he gets closer you can tell why...

He looks drained. Not as pale as yesterday but...it's still a bit scary. He plops down onto his sleeping a spot. Getting just close enough, you can see his arm blocking the light and his snores drifting off. He's wearing two shirts in lieu of his stolen coat. You spot his sketch book again and a stupid idea comes to you...

...

Half an hour later and you have a lined notebook in your hand, a pencil in the other, and Marilyn over you shoulder.

"How come he's got that weird thing sticking out?"

"T-that's the thumb..."

"Then what's that?"

"A uh...what is that?"

ERASING

"Okay but his hair isn't that long...no no too short..."

"This...is really hard..."

"You're pretty bad at this..."

"I know..."

You finish up, regardless of the quality. The poor, chicken-scratch and terrible anatomy, quality. You tear the page out, along with the two covered with words before of it.

"You really should let him give you lessons or something."

"Doesn't Sam need your help?..."

"Pappy said to check on you." She watches as you write the title on the illustration. "But you know, I bet he'll still like it. You gonna hand it to him?"

The thought of presenting it to him in person...

"No! N-no way! I can't do that!"

"Why not?" You watch a grin form on Marilyn's face. "Do you l-"

You push her away before she can add anything else.

"Just tell Sam that I'm feeling better from yesterday!" Marilyn sticks her tongue at you but skips off. You pick up your pages and meander back to where Lawrence was sleeping...he got up about five minutes ago...this is your chance. Every step closer is another step of regret. It feels like the time you tried to give the boy in first grade the other half of your heart shaped cookie during Valentines. He ended up dropping it on the ground and you cried and ran away...

You look for the sketchbook but it looks like he took it with him...okay that just means you'll do this later...or never at all...you know what this is probably better, you'll just embarrass yourself anyways. Before you can stand back up, a hand reaches over and tugs the papers from your hands. Quickly standing up and turning around you see Lawrence is holding them just high enough to keep them out of your reach. Your face feels like it's burning.

"N-no! D-d-don't look at that!" You try to snatch away the shameful pages but they are pulled away. You can see his eyes go from you to the picture.
W-wait! It's j-just a s-s-silly thing I was doing with M-Marilyn! It looks awful! D-don't look yet, lemme fix it up better!" You step up to pull it away but another hand comes up and holds you down by your head. You hear the sound of papers flipping. That means...oh no now he's going to start reading...nonononono

"T-that's not ready either! It's really dumb and awful-"

You can't possibly grab the page...

You should run.

As you begin to turn for your escape, his arm wraps around your shoulders and brings you back.

"Ah d-don't make me stand here wh-while you read...!" Your face is burning incredibly hot now, heart beating like crazy. You hide your face away, partially in your hands and partially into his arm.

Those are the longest seconds of your life. You're finally released and you see that he's finished the last page...and has tucked it away in his book.

"Y-you're not really g-going to keep it...!" You feel light headed...you kneel down, hands at your cheeks...you wanna faint.

Oh god...he's writing something now...

The note is presented and your shaky hand grabs it.

When you aren't trying to kill me, you're pretty cute.

Bullying. This is bullying. You can see him stifling laughter as you try to comprehend what to do next.
You crumple the note between your hands and stick your tongue at him.
"Y-you're just a big meanie...!"

There's no chance of getting the story and drawing back now. When you look up he's sticking his tongue back at you.

You're being mocked.

"D-don't bully me!" You can't help but pout and feel flustered. There's a stupid smirk on his face and you turn away with an annoyed noise.

"...I'm glad that you look better though...I mean...compared to l-last night..." You feel muddled for a different reason now.

It was a little scary last night, wasn't it?

"I don't know what happened...I never had that...that feeling before...not like that..." You look down at your hands. "I was horrified...but I can't imagine what it was like for you..."

You can see him thinking about what to write next.

"...I told Jessica about us."

Immediate and furious writing.

"I told her how I had a need to...to feed...and how you've been helping me..."

And now the sound of marking out and new words.

How did she take that? Lawrence looks a bit thrown off by this.

"She was pretty cool with it, actually. But I think its because she's so nice to me already..."

That's what matters.

"And I um...I bought some blood from a butcher today...pig's blood. I don't know how but I'm going to try that next time..."

Why does it sound just as bad...eating pig's blood? You quickly chance the subject.

"I was wondering if...if you wanted to use me as a drawing subject or something..." You feel weird asking this out loud. "I know they need to pose for a long time and stuff so I uh...figured I could do that for you or something..."

A portrait will cost you two hundred bucks.

You look up from the note, not entirely sure if he means it...but that stupid smirk tells you all that you need to know.

But I'll waive that fee if you bring that vodka. I'd rather drink it then have it poured in an open wound again.

"A-alright...!"

Just give me an hour to set up then head into the first classroom on the right. I'll have enough room in there and I'll set up a station for you.

Lawrence gets up and heads off.

You have an hour before you are going to be drawn, what do you do?
You've never been drawn before...well never sat down and drawn.

Don't...don't you need to look pretty? Maybe you can get yourself cleaned up first...at least make yourself look a bit nicer..

You see Aria is painting her nails when you approach her. She looks up at you, not breaking her work.

"Heeey, what's up? Rocking that new hair by the way."

Is your face ever going to stop being red?

"I uh...I n-n-need to look p-pretty..."

"You are pretty."

"N-no...I mean...I need to look nicer..."
"What's up? You got a date or something?"

"I'm uh...I'm having a portrait d-done by Lawrence..."

Aria's face lights up and the excited noise that leaves her scares you. With out another word she sits you down, pulling out her supplies.

"How ex~cit~ing! He never gets anyone who wants to sit down long enough, I bet he's excited too!" A hand on your chin holds you up and you feel the eyeliner make it's line.

"N-not too much..."

"No no, we're making you look 'all natural'!"

"Doesn't that mean I don't have makeup on?..."

"Pfft no, then everyone thinks you look sick instead."

It doesn't take long for her to finish, and next she starts messing with your hair. Brushing, a little hairspray...much more work then you're used to.

"Are you going to wear anything special?"

"I don't have anything else to really wear."

"I can't let this nice work go to waste! Uh here, wait a second..."

Aria digs through her suitcase...and then another one...and another one...

She pulls out a bundle of clothes and pulls you away so you can change in a different room. You rush to get these clothes on as Aria waits outside. When you step out she immediately begins readjusting and pushing everything into the proper place.

A white button-up blouse, a dark pleated skirt, a pair of earrings, and a pair of flats just a little too big for you.

"Does this look nice?.." You haven't dressed up like this in a long time, it feels strange in your current situation.

"Of course! If he says otherwise then I'll beat him up for you!"

"I'll make sure to get these back to you-"

"No no, you look really nice in these. Plus, every girl needs one nice outfit to look pretty in. Mabel will be glad if I downsize my wardrobe anyways! Now let me know how it goes, ok~ay?"

You still have a little more time to kill, and you remember that you need to bring the vodka.
Is there anything else you wish to do or bring before it's time?
You go ahead and pull out the vodka. It probably wouldn't be smart to carry the it out in front of everyone. Carefully, you wrap up the half full bottle in your blanket. It still looks like a bottle, but it'll do for now...
Buttercup waddles up to where you are, demanding attention. You pick her up and set her in your lap carefully. How long are you going to need to sit still for? You can barely do that now...how are you going to last for a long period? Not to mention that it means someone is going to be staring at you for the entire time too...

Hopefully you don't mess up sitting still...

Pulling out the dried fruit, you eat a few pieces. It might be a bit before you can actually eat. You don't want to ruin the work Aria put in to your face though..

Pink shiny lips...healthy looking red cheeks...eyelashes that go on and on...

Isn't it a little...deceiving to do that? To make yourself look nicer then you actually do?...

It doesn't matter...you're only doing this to help with the picture.

...

You wonder what vodka tastes like...it looks clear like water...

Of course you know what alcohol smells like and that there are so many different kind, but you never tasted any of them.

Well, except for once...

There was a time after you father died and your mother offered you a sip of her drink in a drunken stupor...

What kind of drink was it?
Well...actually...
Maybe it was vodka your mother gave to you...

You came home from school one day, weeks after the funeral. Of course you were in no means chipper, but between the two of you...

Your mother was beyond a wreck.

It was often that she would be laying about somewhere in the house, nursing a hangover back into inebriation. The routine would always be you would come home, go to your room, work on homework, get some food, and then stay in your room till morning.

One afternoon was different though. You were heading to your room when the half conscious voice of your mother called you back. You crept back to where she was, peering into the bedroom.

Photos of your father were surrounding where she sat on the floor, among the empty bottles. Many of the photos had ripped up, burnt, or just plain scribbled out. She hated him and missed him...

"'-lilah..." Her voice was wavering and she couldn't even form one whole word. Out stretched in her hand was a bottle...tall and clear. It was fancy looking, gold print up and down the side. The words looked foreign and you couldn't really tell what they said.

"Yes mom?" You didn't know what it was she wanted, but she gestured for you to take the bottle out of her hands. Maybe she had enough? It felt so heavy in your young hands, but the look your mother gave you confused you. She picked up another bottle at her side and raised it up.

"To my...-hic-...terrible...-hic-...beautiful...-hic-...de-ad....husband..." She put her bottle and began to drink away. You've seen toasts on TV before...she wanted you to drink...right?

You put the bottle to your lips and take the first drink like you would juice.

It burnt like fire. The taste overpowered everything, you dropped the bottle and threw up. Your mother took no attention so you ran back to your room.

She probably was trying to share a moment with you in her own messed up way...

...

You realize it has probably been enough time now. Letting Buttercup run off, you stand up, smoothing out your skirt. Bottle in hand, you go to the classroom.

Inside, you see that all the chairs are shoved against the wall...except for two. Lawrence isn't in there yet so you take one of the seats.

It's only a little bit of time before Lawrence comes in, his arms full. You watch as he sets down each thing.

There's one of the big lights, a metallic box that says something about colored pencils, a small radio, and a large drawing board with an equally as large white paper attached to it.

Is...is your picture really going to be that big?...

What do you talk to Lawrence about while he sets up?
"What's all that stuff?"

Prismacolors, professional kinda stuff. I want to make this one a completed piece.

You watch as he sets up the light. It falls upon you, dark and deep contrasting shadows cascading across your body. You see that he has a smaller light attached to the top of the board to illuminate his work.

"Are you sure it wouldn't be easier during the day?"

There's some nice shapes going on here, they really outline your figure well. It also lets me make this ~mysterious~

"Well um..what pose should I sit in?..."

Whatever you feel in comfortable.

"Do I like...need to get naked?"

That is up to you.

"I-I was joking...m-maybe next time..."

Lawrence draws a frowning face and you throw the balled up note at his head. As he lays out the different pencils, you try to figure out what would be best.

...

When Lawrence looks back up, you're leaning back in the chair, one knee brought up to your chest, one hand above your breast and a finger from the other pointing at your lips.

"Just like in the magazine...right Law?..."

This time he hits you with a crumpled up note.

...

You move into a real position, your side to him, legs slightly crossed and hands in your lap.

"Uh...like this then?...You can uh...fix it if you want..."

Carefully, he shows you how to sit. He brings up your chin slightly, presses your shoulders down lower, pushes your lower back in a bit, arranges your hands onto your thigh, and pulls off your shoes to place next to you instead.

"Ah right...the vodka...oh shoot I forgot cups though I'm sor-"

You watch as Lawrence presses it against his mouth and takes a big chug. He winces a bit as it hits his throat but swallows it all and sits down. Rock music begins to play and he starts to draw.

...

"Ah...my back is starting to hurt..."

It's about an hour in, though your back was in pain before this. Lawrence motions at you for one more moment then releases you.

"Will it be fine? I just need a second."

He nods, but pushes the board out of sight before you can see it. He takes another drink of the vodka and hands it to you, offering.
Would you like to share a drink with the Law?
You take the bottle and look at the opening. You're older now...it can't be that bad, right? Lawrence was able to drink it fairly easy...you can't let him think you're a wimp. You said so yourself, you're like an adult.

...

You were wrong. Oh GOD, were you wrong. You only allowed half a drink this time but it burns just as bad as when you were young.

Difference is that you force yourself to swallow it...your body shudders as it goes down.

And of course he enjoys watching your suffer through it. Quickly you push the vile bottle back to him and he takes another swig like a champ.

Jerk...

You stand up to stretch, but your head rushes as you do. It takes a bit, but you manage to catch your footing.

Okay...okay you know what? You're fine now. After the initial burning in your mouth and throat and the light weight feeling, it's kinda nice. There's a pleasant warm inside of you.

As long as you watch yourself, you should be good...right? Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. You ask for the bottle back and take a, much smaller, drink again. Still burns...you take another sip before handing it back.

Lawrence has to help you back into the proper position again. Hands against your skin tingles in a warm way. That's good...that's nice.

It feels like you sit there very well, but according to Lawrence you are swaying and moving your head too much.

It's fine, I have more then enough to finish this later. If I need to I'll have you pose again later.

"Oh good...it gets boring sitting there." You stand up...no you sit down...okay now you're back up. Lawrence is pulling out his sketchbook, jotting down some sketches or something. You don't know. You try to look over his shoulder but grab the bottle again.

This is...pleasant. Nice and pleasant. No wonder people get past that awful taste. You let it fill your mouth again before it's yanked away from you.

I don't think it would be wise for you to drink any more.

"H-ey, it's my drink! I earned it y'know! You can have one more sip but then I get to take the re-st back!"

Ha...you got him. You'll get your bottle back.

He looks you in the eyes before putting the bottle back to his lips.

...

You watch partially in amazement and the rest in anger as the rest of the clear liquid disappears...

Lawrence grimaces, shudders, and hands you back a now empty bottle.

That jerk drank the rest of your drink!

What are you going to do?
"Ah! Y-you jerkface!" Stomping your foot, you step forward and take a few hits at his torso. Even now you can tell that your hits did nothing...but it felt nice to do it.
"I'm a go and fi-nd someone who isn't a big...big...jerk!"

Heh, that'll show him.

You turn to walk away but you're pulled back from the door, Lawrence shaking his head quickly.

"Wh-y not huh? I'm a go find someone wh-o'll be nice to me!"

Despite this you wait for him to write his message.

...you take forever to read it. Several times over your eyes scan the words till they make sense.

I can NOT let them think I let you get drunk. Just hang out in here till everyone is asleep or you calm down.

"But you did let me~"

I can NOT let them know then.

You giggle at this.

"You're in tr~ou~ble!" Nonetheless you meander back to the center of the classroom.

"Now ~you~ owe me!" You sit on an empty desk.

"This is the second thing you took from me~ First my magazine and now my drink! In fact, I think I want my magazine back~"

You don't really...you don't think anyways. You just want to make him suffer for being so rude.

Lawrence sits back down in his chair, turning up the music.

I don't think so.

"Why~? Is it cause you're doin'...y'know...'bad stuff' with it?" You can't help but laugh at this, and as expected you don't get an answer.

"Why'd ya make me take my shoes off? You like my feet or somethin'?" You lay back, wiggling the toes on your foot in the air.

Pfft...that's dumb...who would like feet.

Still no answer.

"Y'know, I heard you was still one of those a...what're they called...v-...v-somethin'...is that true? Do you still have your uh...what'd she call it...v-card? I wanna see it~"

The sound of scratching pencil on paper...good he's finally gonna talk to you. The answer is taking so long...what's he writing.

You look over and see that he's sketching in his notebook instead.

Lawrence is ignoring you now and you want attention.

What are you going to do?
You walk over to the drawing board tucked away between the chairs.

"Lesse if you got mah nice side~" You start to pull it out but Lawrence gives you a death glare. Ah...maybe you should wait. You walk over to him and slip away his notebook.

"Is this wh-ere ya keep your ah...card thingy?" You flip through the pages but it's taken from your hands quickly.

What a party pooper.

"Y-you should be nicer to me! I got all prettied up for you to-day...and I'm never pretty! You should ap-preciate this!" Why does your voice sound more...upset now? Maybe it's just your imagination.

"B-but I guess I did owe ya...cause I almost killed ya yesterday! Did you know that? I did! Monster Del-ilah came out!" You bare your teeth and make clawing motions with your hands.

"S-she came out and she almost didn't g-o back in! Almost killed a n-nice big man! A nice big m-an who drank all of her drink!" You stick your tongue out at that last part.

Lawrence doesn't look angry or annoyed...more like...some other emotion you can't really read.

Ah...why do you feel so needy right now?...

You poke him in the shoulder.

"A nice mean big guy who keeps helping the little monster for some reason? Why does he do it huh? What does he wa-nt?" You hang off his shoulder, your mouth right next to his ear.

He actually writes you a response, though it takes several tries for you to read it.

What do you think I want?
I bet you wan-na be left alone so you can draw~"

Guess again

"Hmmm maybe you want more vo-dka and nudie magazines~:

I think I'm fine on those.

You can't stop the terrible words that tumble out next.

"I betcha want your sister back."

In that instant you feel Lawrence's body tense up. You struck a nerve, and for some stupid reason you continue to beat him while he's down.

"I bet ya wish she was alive...I know I do..."

Even though a big part of you feels sad, you don't want to ruin the wonderful feeling you have. Lawrence is looking down at the ground...uh oh, you made him upset.

How do you cheer up a man?

...

Ah...ha...

Your hands come up to cup his cheeks.

"I'm sor-ry...I mess up every~thing..." You were leaning on him for support earlier but now you're doing it for the..closeness of it.

"I can't do nothin' right..."

What good are you for? You've even ruined tonight already.

"I can't even pay you back properly." You move to sit on his leg, a hand moving from his cheek to around his shoulders. It's been at the back of your mind but with the alcohol to help bring it out...

You know how to pay a man back. You may not like it, but he should...right? From what you can tell men like this sort of thing...they would be more then happy to get this in return for things...right?

"I know I don't look like 'em...like the girls in the mag~a~zine...but that don't matter right?...the other men liked me enough..."

Your body is shaking slightly but you keep moving forward.

"But may-be you don't wanna...cause you wanna do it with someone you really li-ke and make it spe~cial...but it don't matter for me. It's too late to be nice and spe~cial." You lean in more but you don't know what you're supposed to be doing...

"Maybe it's the only useful thi-ng I can do...maybe it's all I'm good for..."

No, don't start crying. Finish this out...finish it out so you won't be a complete failure. You owe him, you owe him big.

"Guys love this sorta thing...don't they? Yeah...they do...it's why they take it when they want...ha...like when I took your blood last night...

Stop crying. Stop it...stop...

"Ah...haha...it's scary...thinking about doing that is scary...I...I don't really...I don't really wanna do this...I hate it...why do people like it...it hurts too much...it hurts me too much...d-don't make me do it Lawrence...don't make me hurt again...."

You feel sick...your stomach is in a twisted knot...you push away and back yourself into a corner. Kneeling down you hold your stomach...don't throw up...why do you feel so awful...why did you have to get sad...

You take time to catch your breath and stand up, looking back at Lawrence.

He looks horrified and confused. Exactly the same way you feel.
What do you do?
Don't...don't throw up...

"I'm...I don't think I'm okay..." Your back falls against the wall. It's the only steady thing for you in this moment.

A grin comes across your face. It's broken, just like the rest of you.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry for always being sorry..."

Your grin starts to fade as you slide to the ground.

"I...I think I'm...I'm fu-...fucked up..."

As soon as you reach the ground, any remnants of your smile have faded and your tears stain the blouse.

"I'm..."

Broken.
Fucked up.

A mess.

Used up.

Worthless.

"I'm sorry." It's the only thing you feel comfortable saying, but it has lost any impact it once had. You can only stare in Lawrence's general direction. The alcohol and tears make it impossible to see straight. You can hear Lawrence standing up from his chair, foot steps coming towards you.

"Don't come near me."

They stop. Your breathing becomes harder. Is this what you want?

"Go away."

There's a pause, but you can steadily hear the steps going farther away. The further back they go, the less you want to be alone.

"Wait..."

You hear the door open and close with a click.

Your body collapses forward, forehead against the cold floor. You miss the warmth, the heat. You do want it, you want to be in light. It feels like the darkness it surrounding you, ready to swallow your body up whole. It's already eating away at the edge of your sight. You can't force yourself above a desperate whisper.

"Don't leave me."

What is your biggest fear?
Your heart hurts. It hurts bad. You're in pain and nothing can stop it. You claw at your chest, you tear at the shirt much too pretty for you.

This is how your father died...isn't it? This is how you're going to die.

Good.

After your his death the idea of your own mortality scared you, even if you didn't fully understand it.

But now you want to accept it with open arms.

Take you away, away from everything awful.

Don't you just cause your own misery more and more?

You fear being alone forever.

You fear constant rejection.

You fear that the love you crave will be pulled away.

Too late. You fear it yet it's all already here. If anything you should be use to this, no?

You're the one to mess things up, and when someone wants to help...

You did this to yourself. Rejection...loneliness...pushing away what little affection is given to you...

You hate this. You hate everything.
You hate yourself the most.

Your shaky hand reaches into your bra...

Ha...even if one of the few people you trust...

You still feel the need to bring a knife...

You can't even use this correctly.

You just hurt people with it.

If...if anything...

You deserve to be hurt with it.
You deserve the pain it brings.

Flick the blade out...looking at your wrist...
What do you do?
As you stare at your unmarked wrist, the blue veins traveling down your arm there are voices in the back of your head encouraging you.
Though the fucking heart.
Ha...you wouldn't be strong enough to do that. The grip on the knife tightens. Lawrence cut himself so easily yesterday...you can do that too...can't you? Just keep cutting till there's no more terrible black blood in you, all the hate and misery inside will just bleed out.
You can't move though.
If you died right now...would you turn into sea foam? You doubt any angels would offer to help you into Heaven. No...no that's dumb. You're a human.
You would turn into the awful black goop from inside you and seep through the floorboards and right into Hell.
You sit up, the feeling of sickness washing over your body.
What are you thinking about doing? Killing yourself?
What...what the hell is wrong with you...
The morbid thoughts dance around your mind as you rise to your feet. It's hard, your bare feet freezing against the floor, but you are reminded of your heart beating.
You're not dead.
You're not dead in this moment, and that's what matters.
You sway back to the work station.
That's right, you have to get the portrait finished.
You have to help the people who've helped you.
You have to figure out why exactly you're in this situation.
If you do this now...then that's just like closing a book mid-chapter.
How dumb of you..
You see the drawing board still tucked away. What does a monster look like on a page? You pull it out carefully, holding it out in front of you.
Ha...what a terrible artist...
There's a young girl sitting on the chair, looking off and away like she doesn't have much cares in the world. She's cute, she looks like she could grow up to be a wife, a mother, someone who would be a good person and go to Heaven.
That's not a monster. Where are the claws? The big scary teeth? The awful lumpy body? How would this person hurt others.
Ha...
You hear the door swing open and Lawrence steps in.
Blanket, glass of juice, even a bowl of soup are balanced in his hands.
Stupid jerk.
"I don't actually look this pretty, you got it all wrong." You smile and put the board back. You're smiling but...it's not an actual smile, is it? It's a mask to hide what terrible thoughts you have.

You reach up to wipe your eyes clean and realize you're still holding your open knife.

"Ah...th-that's right...I had been thinking about...y'know..." You point the tip at your throat absentmindedly, your hand much steadier from earlier. You see Lawrence ready to pounce, to grab the knife away from you.

"I'm not gonna...that's too uh..." You return the blade into it's place and slip it away. "Too um...scary."
Exhaustion has you by it's teeth. You sit down, back against a desk.

"I think I need to sleep now..." Your head is buzzing. Lawrence sits in the chair in front of you. The glass and bowl are thrust at you.

That would be smart, but you need these first.

It's a little easier to read now then earlier. You take the glass first, drinking the sweet apple juice.

"Why?" You ask as you hold the still warm bowl next.

You don't want a hangover in the morning. You know what that is?

"Yeah, yeah I know what those are." You begin to spoon the soup into your mouth. The pork from earlier, everything tastes a bit off. That's just the alcohol though, isn't it?

It's already snowing outside. By the morning it should be high enough to reach the windows.

"Scary."

Maybe if you're short enough to get lost in it. He offers this one with a half grin.

...

Is he ever going to bring up what you did before? You hope not...it was certainly...something...

Awful. That's what it was.

You bite you lip.

"Why...do you put up with an awful person like me?..."

Lawrence takes time to think.

You're alone at this point. I am too. It's easier to be lonely together.

He wouldn't be alone if Michele was alive.

"What a sad reason..." You didn't mean for it to sound so condescending, it's still hard to control your words.

It's a sad story

"Yeah it is..." Your spoon clinks against the bottom of the bowl.

Is there anything else you need before you sleep?
There's so much you want, there really is. It's almost selfish.
"I want to be able to have the picture finished."
You want to see how the pretty girl will look.
"I'm cold...I want warmth..."
You crave it. Enveloped, you want to be enveloped in it.
"I don't want to be alone."
You're tired of loneliness. It's boring, it tragic, it's suffocating.
"B-but I think most of all..."
Aha...now you're getting embarrassed. You hide your red face behind drunken fingers.
"I think I n-need a h-hug."
This is the first time you've ever asked for one. Father never needed to be asked, mother never was asked.
You feel him throw the blanket over your huddled body.  He would be wary of getting close to you again, wouldn't he?
Lawrence sits himself next to you. You've been close enough today, you don't actually need your hu-
You're pulled in close. You hear a heart beat that isn't yours, feel breathing that doesn't belong to you, sharing space...your hands come up and pull yourself deeper into the warmth.
It's such a lovely feeling for such an unlovely girl.
You decide to pull it apart. Nice feelings can't last forever.
You do lean your head against him instead of the hard desk behind you. It's a struggle to keep your eyes open, but you feel like it's fine to let them drift shut now.
"I've...done something awful tonight..." As your eyes close, you look up at Lawrence. He's staring at the door, a look of concern on his face. His lips move, talking to himself.
[i]'Me too'[/i]
You don't ask him what he said and allow yourself to fall asleep instead.
Of all the people who have hurt you, who is the most to blame?

...
There's such a fierce anger inside of you, from all of the people who have hurt you. All of them...just awful people...

Even that man, with a daughter at home, was able to look past your tears and pleads and continued to hurt you.

But...if you had to rank them...

Your mother is the worst of them all. She's the reason the floodgate was opened, that all of this was allowed to happen.

You know...you know that if you want to get your proper answers and any sort of closure...

You will need to go back to that awful apartment, where it all started.

You're going to have to knock on that door that kept you captive inside.

And you are going to have to see that awful woman again.

...

When you wake up, the light from outside is a filtered gray. The clouds must still be covering the sky...you wonder if it's still snowing. You notice that while most of your body is pleasantly warm...your toes are freezing. There's also a slight feeling of nausea, but nothing that you can't ignore. You start to move, but realize that if you do then Lawrence will fall over. You fell asleep against him but now it seems like the two of you are supporting each other.

The radio is on low, you can hear people talking on it...a morning show. It's probably early morning now. You can hear Lawrence still snoring next to you. You decide to stay in place a bit longer. You tuck your feet in closer and listen to the voices coming from the radio. Two men are talking, something about politics it seems...something like receiving foreign aid...you don't understand any of it.
It might be best just to go back to sleep, you're going to be stuck inside all day anyways. Besides, its too warm under the blanket to get up, just like those mornings as a kid when you would try to stay in your warm cocoon of blankets for as long as possible.

You look up enough to see that Lawrence is still sleeping, which is fine as long as he doesn't end up accidentally crushing you. The hair on his chin has grown longer.

"You really need a trim..." You whisper, brushing the tip of your finger down the side of his jaw. Hopefully you don't sleep too much longer, but for now you can enjoy this. The only warmth you get at night has been from Buttercup, and her tiny body can only heat you up so much.

As you try to fall asleep, you begin to think.

How are you going to fill out your time today? You wonder about how long you are going to be stuck inside. If anything, the guys can probably venture out for supplies if needed. Claire's baby...is she really going to raise it in a place like this forever? Well...as long as it ends up healthy and happy. You remember hearing it make its weak noises...you hope it's warm enough now. If it's as close to Claire's body as you are right now...then it should be plenty warm.

You hear the click of the lock and the door push open.

Looking up you see Jessica pop in, she looks shocked and immediately closes the door. Your heart is beating fast, her sudden entrance scared you. Why did she run off so fast...?

What do you do now?
Oh right, she's probably been figuring out where you've been.
You reach up and pat Lawrence on the cheek, making him sit up.

"Morning." You say as you're allowed to get up now. Sitting in that position for so long as made your legs a bit sore, but you stretch it out. Your skirt is wrinkled now too, you attempt to smooth out the pleats but it will take an iron to get them proper. You feel a draft on your chest. Looking down you see that the top three buttons of your shirt were pulled apart from your little...'episode'...last night. You can get one of them closed but it looks like the other two are missing. You'll be able to sew new ones on easily, but for now you try to keep it shut. The work done to your hair is a mess now too, the new shortness will make it easier to brush through but it feels like its so much easier to get bedhead now.

As Lawrence stretches and is probably dealing with his own vodka induced nausea you grab your shoes, slipping them on. Before you dash off, you decide that you'll start the bullying today.

"I'll see ya later." You say as you bend down and press a swift light kiss on his forehead. "I gotta see what Jessica wanted."

You're quick to exit the room, before you can see his reaction. You're sure he'll get back at you for that later.
Down the hall you can see Jessica pacing back and forth, hands at her bright red cheeks. She spots you as you're walking down to her and she all but tackles you.

"What's up?" You ask in a strangely cool manner. "Why are you all...red and stuff?" Jessica's eyes glance from your face, down your body, and back up at you.

"Me?!" She asks this in a panic tone. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" You end this on a yawn, and this fuels Jessica further.

"L-look at you! I don't see you all night, and when I finally do find you it's sitting in an empty room with your shirt open and....and Lawrence all up on you asleep...! Your clothes are all a mess too...do you smell like liquor? What the hell?" She doesn't sound scolding but...

"What's the matter with that?" You're not fully awake yet, failing to understand the severity of the situation.

Jessica looks amazed that you could ask such a question. She speaks again, her voice full of a seriousness you've never heard from her before.

"What's he to you?"
"Lawrence? He's my..." You think about the words that would fit.

"He's saved me...I keep messing up and he keeps helping me..."

Your face starts to heat up, your fingers come up to touch your cheeks.

"He's my friend...he's like my...prince..." As the last word comes out a warm feeling rises up inside of you. A monster with a prince to keep saving her...isn't the wrong? But the thought of your own prince...

You can't stop the smile on your face and Jessica grabs your shoulders, practically shaking you.

"Hey! Focus! Friend! He is your F R I E N D! You don't hang out with a friend and walk out looking like you...you went for some wild...r-ride!" As you see the redness on Jessica's face, you click together what she saw.

"Y-you think he...? Ah! NO! I mean no, I did this to myself...my clothes I mean. I got...I got really upset last night...I got into some vodka and Lawrence was making sure I didn't get into any trouble..."

"V-vodka?! You drank? You're like....twelve!"

"I'm almost fourteen..."
"You're still younger then me! That means you're like twelve! I can't believe you did that just...you know what could have happened?"

"What?..."

Jessica looks you straight in the eyes as she speaks.

"Look, he's a good guy, he really is. But Lawrence is still a man. Just because he's a good guy doesn't mean he's always going to have the best intentions, y'know? He could have easily have taken advantage of the situation-"

"He could any of the other times I have been alone with him."

"Y-yeah but if you weren't sober-"

"You act like I haven't experienced this before. People haven't tried to do this, they have."

As you say this the grip Jessica has on you lets go. Your voice was stern, much more then you originally intended but...

You don't need a lecture on what you already know.

"I'm...I'm sorry...I just want you to be safe..." She sounds on the verge of tears.

"I know, I'm so-" Before you can apologize you can hear Lisa's voice calling for her.

"I-...I need to go help her...I'll see ya later..." Jessica turns and runs off. You are alone in the hallway.

What do you do?
Your mood feels much more somber now, but it would probably be best to get washed up and changed. It's pretty weird walking around in this skirt now. As you grab clothes and some warm water in a bottle, you can see Jessica busy with Lisa.
She seemed so upset but...you don't know...maybe later you should talk to her again. You take your stuff and go into a supply room. Carefully rubbing away the makeup and removing your nice clothes. Dressed in your much warmer and comfortable wear, you go back.

Breakfast sounds great, maybe it'll settle yourself. John makes you another peanut-butter sandwich, and while you really want juice you settle for water. Sitting down, you eat your sandwich and are greeted by Buttercup. Pulling off the corners you feed them to her little puppy mouth.

Once you're done you take a look at the shirt again, taking out your sewing kit. You need the button from the room to fit right, but for now the small translucent ones included with the kit will work. Easily you fixate the small button in place. It'll need ironing later and so will the skirt. For now you place them in your bag.

As you play with Buttercup, you focus on your body. You don't feel the need to feed yet...it would probably be easier to try the blood in the snow once you're actually in need.

...

You're glad that you experienced such closeness last night but...

That'll make it much harder to sleep alone, won't it?
What will you do now?
You look out the window...the snow is piling up higher. If it gets too high you might have trouble finding your buried box of blood...hopefully the cover of the tree will keep it from being too deep.

If it keeps snowing you might have to pull it out early...in that case you might have to force yourself to try it early. Gross...

You push it out of mind and decide to look for Mabel and Aria. Talking to them might be a nice change of pace...

Sitting in a chair is Mabel, hair pulled behind her ear.

As you approach she looks up at you.

"What's up chick?" You notice that the earrings she usually wear are missing.

"I was just bored...I hope I'm nothing bothering you..."

"Nah, this might be exciting for you to watch actually." She grins as Aria comes back, latex gloves on.

"W-what are you guys doing?" You eye a needle in Aria's hand.

"Boredom, boutta take care of that." She grins more as Aria rubs an alcohol pad over her ear.

"She thinks she needs a third piercing on this ear." Aria explains.

You have a set of piercings, but just the 'normal' kind. You don't remember what they felt like since you got them as a baby, but this looks...painful.

Watching, you see Aria position the needle on a section of Mabel's ear and push in suddenly. Mabel flinches but only a bit, and Aria begins cleaning the area.

"Not so bad." Mabel feels the area and then looks at you.

"You ever think about doing something like this?"
"I uh...I never really thought about it..."

Aria pushes a stud into the newly made hole. Part of you wants to try, to be adventurous...

But your blood might freak them out.

A bit of disappointment in your voice, you add on.

"I don't think I'm ready for that..."

"Eh, understandable. Maybe one day you'll wanna walk on the cool side." Mabel sticks her tongue at you.

Bully...

Aria swats her shoulder. "Be nice Mabel!"

"So how was last night?" Aria looks at you as she finishes cleaning Mabel's ear.

"I-it was fine...thanks for the help."

"It's no problem, I love doing that kinda stuff!"

Before you can find something else to do, Aria pulls something out of her pocket.

"Here, I decided these are your colors. You can practice on your own now!" Aria hands you a tube of pink lipstick and eyeliner.

"Thank you..." You say goodbye to the two and look around. You see Lawrence and decide to ask him if there's anything you should do, but he quickly walks away from you.

Instead of chasing after him you stop. You see Jessica sitting with the kids as they play a board game.

What do you do now?
You hope you don't make it too weird...
You go and sit down with Jessica, she's helping them play something with dice. She doesn't look up at you when you come, but she does say hello. You watch as the kids start playing, it looks like she's just observing.

"I um...didn't mean to sound so mad at you earlier..." You decide that it will be fine to talk here.

"Me either..."

"I just...I'm kinda in this weird spot..."

Jessica smiles a bit and puts words to some of the thoughts you've had.

"You feel stuck, don't ya? Between like...an adult and a kid, right?"

"Kinda yeah...I feel like there's a lot I should be able to do on my own already but...then I feel lost and like...I have to have my hand held..."

"That's normal though. I mean, I still get like that. But doncha tell no one, I gotta seem cool." She grins and you can't help but return it. Jessica's face falls back to worried though.

"And I just...got scared. I was worried that you were being hurt again..." She looks down at her feet. "Even if it wasn't someone older like that...guys like to say and do stuff to make you think they like you, but really they just want...they want 'that'."

You nod to show that you understand and continue to watch the kids.

What would you like to talk to her about?
"Thanks...for caring, you know?" You smile at her and get one back.

It's a weird feeling...having people care about your well being again. You start to feel like you need to take better care of yourself, if just for the sake of not making the people around you sad.

"Did your finger get any better?..." You decide to switch to something lighter.

"Ah! I didn't even look!" You lean in as she removes her bandage.

"..."

"Uh...it doesn't look much different from yesterday...does it?"

"I don't think so..." Jessica wiggles her finger as she says this. There's light scabbing but for something that small...wouldn't it be healed already if your spit did work?..

"Maybe it doesn't work anymore..."

"Nah maybe I'm broken." Jessica replaces her band-aid. "Thanks for trying, how did you think it worked like that anyways?"

"I uh...I licked a cut Lawrence had..." You see her look darken and you quickly add in, "It was when he let me...you know...feed. He had this cut, a bad one...and so I um...you know...from it...and it ended up healing right away."

"Jeez that's scary...maybe you need to find a way to try it out on like...another person.:

"Maybe..."

"Well...if it makes you feel any better...if I wasn't sick then I'd offer you a meal."

You both smile and watch the kids for a bit. You remember Lawrence walking away from you.

"Hey...did you talk to him..?"

"Lawrence? No...well..."

She looks away a bit before continuing.

"I...I didn't yell at him or nothing. I just asked him...to continue treating you nicely...that you deserve it...but that's all! I didn't scold him!" She scratches her cheek.

"And I mean...it's...it's not like I assumed he had...you know...with you...but I guess it was just like...mother bear instincts. Well...after I ran away like a little kid. Law is a good guy, I know that, don't think I don't..."

She puffs her cheek.

"Except for the fact that bastard owes me $20..." You laugh a bit at this, but still...why did he avoid you?...

What do you do now?
You tell Jessica you will see her later and get up.

Looking around you see that Law is talking with John...maybe it would be best to try and speak to him when he's not busy. You don't want to accidentally get him in trouble, and it seems like your 'secret' is safe with Jessica. Well...another secret now.

How long can you keep your...'condition'...hidden? You can't feed from Jessica and Lawrence would need time to recover if your pig blood doesn't work...

You look up and see that Sam is reading with Marilyn. You approach them and both of them greet you warmly.

"And what can I do for you?"

"I uh...have a question for you as a...patient."

"Ah, I see. Alright Lyn, scoot! Patient confidentiality!" He scoots Marilyn off his lap, she pouts but does as she's told.

"Alrighty, what seems to be the problem then? It's not about your blood, is it?"

What do you tell him?
ou sit down in the chair in front of him.
"It might be...kinda..."

You make sure there is no one else around before speaking.

"Sam...you told me that story of the boy that...that tried to eat other people..."

"I did, it spook ya?"

"N-no...I've been living it. Uh...kinda..." You bite your lip.

"Ever since I've found this weird...I think its a bite...on my stomach I have had these weird...desires...and they don't go away till I drink..." You trail off the last word before continuing.

"I hate it though! It's...it's terrible...but then if I keep from doing it my body is in terrible...terrible pain...but then when I give in...I'm scared of it and I don't know what to do."

You wait to see Sam's reaction.

"Now..." He sounds so...stern. "You aren't pulling my leg, are you?"

"No sir."

"You're telling me you're sick, like that boy was?"

"I ...well yes...but not like he was. I haven't hurt anyone..."
You decide to leave out the part with Lawrence in the basement.

Sam is deep in thought as you say this.

"Now...if I hadn't experienced this first hand...I'd say you was crazy...I still think you are. And I wouldn't be trustin' of a crazy person, specially around my girl..."

You brace yourself for his words.

"But you haven't given me a reason to not trust you yet. If what you say is true then I'm going to have to keep an eye on ya...but I won't leave you hanging neither. Can I see this bite?"

"I uh...I would have to take off my pants I think to show you..."

"You can show me later then, but for now..." Sam thinks some more.

"Well...I won't say for sure yet...but I'll tell you what. Lemme see my 'guy' in a few days and see if I can dig around for any information on this kinda thing. If there's any information, it's nothing you're gonna find in an official medical book..."

He eyes you carefully.

"You're not gonna go around attacking people...are ya?"

"No sir."

"Because you know what I did to that boy."

"Y-yes sir..."

"Alright then. I'll look into your situation."

"Thank you."

"And don't you go tellin' Lyn."

"Of course."
You thank Sam and walk away. You see John and it seems like Lawrence has gone off else where.
What do you do?
You decide to help cut down time and ask John where Lawrence has gone.
"Lessee...the big guy went up stairs. I think he was going to go see what was on the second floor. If you go up, be careful missy. Don't need you fallin' through the floorboards."

You thank him and go to find the stairwell. It's dusty, but you can see a few footprints going up and down it. You add yours to the mix as you climb up, watching out for cobwebs. There's signs of graffiti up here, but you don't understand any of it.

Down the halls, trying each door. Just like the first floor most of these are either locked or jammed. As you go to the next one, you see a hole in the floor. Carefully you inch around it before continuing your search.

A window in the hallway allows just enough of the winter light, and as you glance out of it you can see the tree. It's weird knowing that you have blood out there...waiting for you...

You continue on. Down the hall you make your way, finally finding a door that will let you through, only since it is already cracked open. Slowly you push it in and look through. It looks like it's a classroom that's never been cleaned up, the desks and chairs still sprawled out. With his back towards you sits Lawrence, hunched over and his head in his hands. Even though he doesn't know you're here...

The situation feels tense.

What do you do?
Despite the door being open you decide to knock.
"It's me..." As soon as you speak Lawrence jumps up, distress etched to his face. He looks at you then behind you at the door way.

"I'm uh...I'm alone..."

He looks a bit relieved but worry on his face remains. He slides back into the chair, hand at his head.

You aren't really sure how to start this so you just meander around the classroom.

"It looks like they forgot this one...or maybe they were using it right till they closed..." You walk towards the window. From here you can see the front gate and street, all blanketed in a thick snow. There's no noise from behind you, so you try to carry the conversation.

"Maybe when the snow is stopped for sure we can go out, looking for stuff...I know it's probably impossible but it would be neat if I could find a Walkman. I've always wanted one but I never got the chance to get it, I heard that the ones that play those discs are getting popular. The uh...oh the CD's! Can you believe it? I wonder if they'll really push out cassettes..." You rambling and Lawrence isn't reacting to any of it.

You come back and sit in a seat by him. You offer a smile.

"It's kinda like being back in class...well I didn't go to high school...and I guess you would be more like the teacher..." Hmm...smooth.

You don't say anything else and just swing your legs in the chair a bit.

"I just wanted to know if you were okay...you kinda ran away from my earlier and I was worried I did something wrong..."

There's silence once again, but it is followed by the sound of writing.

What would I have to do for you to hate me?
You wring your hands as you think about your answer.

"I don't think there's really anything you can do now that would make me hate you..." You look down and away.

"I mean...except for...for that..." Your hand clings to your stomach.

"If y-you...tried to hurt me like those guys d-did...or my m-mother..." You bite your lip and look back up.

"But I don't think you could ever do anything like that, so I don't think there's anything you could do that would make me hate you."

You're thrown back when you meet Lawrence with eye contact. His dark eyes are locked with yours, a serious yet desolate expression reflecting back at you. He breaks it with a grin and a chuckle, but you can tell they aren't happy in the slightest.

You say that, but I bet I've done something that will make you upset.

"Like what?"

Maybe I'll tell you later.

His face is in a crooked smirk, but his eyes and body does not match it.

"Why were you avoiding me earlier?" You decide to test the waters.

You know how weird it must look for a guy to be all alone with a girl like you constantly?

"I...well maybe but you're a good guy. Everyone here knows that!"

Do you think Roger thought that in the alley?

You feel a little a bit at unease by this, and you're unable to come up with a satisfying answer.

What about the woman, in that store? When you asked me for help? Think she knew I was a 'good guy' when I nearly caved her face in?

They are only words, but it feels like you can hear the anger and agitated voice in them.

"I...th-that was different..."

What about the guy I told you about? Am I a good guy for putting him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life? After he started getting his own life together?

You have no idea how to handle this situation right now. Lawrence's shoulders rise and fall as silent snickers come out...you know the laughter isn't for real...it seems more like a nervous habit.
What do you do?
"If you don't tell me...then I will always assume the worst..." You don't falter, you don't break eye contact, and you don't shrink away.

You await the sound of him writing, the long wait between your answer and his, but it doesn't come.

A grin unbecoming of him stretches his face and he moves with such a speed you were not prepared for. You don't move nor do you shake, but you have become aware as to how much bigger he is then you. You feel like a rabbit, ready to be snatched up in the jaws of a bear.

His hand comes up and his fingers wrap around your chin and cheek ever so gently, turning your ear towards him. You keep yourself in check, but you can't stop your heart from it's rapid beating. Slowly he leans in, his mouth right by your ear, his breath sending a shiver down your back. He's being so delicate with you, but it only feels like the calm before the storm.

"You rely-on me..." Lawrence's voice is low and rough, as if you could listen to rust. "And I-love it. The help-lessness..."

Are you shaking from the fear of his words or the sound of his voice?

"It makes-me feel-import-ant." Each syllable he forces out pushes a harsh breath to your skin. "Wh-en you ne-ed me-to save-you..."

"Wh-en you-tha-nk me..."

"Wh-en you pra-ise me..."

" I love it..." He manages to push that last past all at once.

"I need-it...I need-to be-"

"Needed." You finish his words for him.

Neither of you move from your positions, his hand still around your face. He's not holding you there to force you in place, yet you feel trapped.

What do you do?
"Why...is that so awful...to be needed?" You break the prolonged silence.

"Doesn't everyone want that? Isn't it a good thing?"

Why does the situation feel so tense?

You feel a slight shake in his body but he continues.

"Af-ter...Michele...died..." You feel his grip tighten, but it doesn't hurt.

"I de-cided...I mess-ed up...too...much al-ready..." His already weak voice wavers.

"I could...I-...couldn't...help...her at...home..." His hands follow the same path as his voice.

"I was...so foc-used...on get-ting to her...but I was too...too..."

You can feel all of his effort come out in this last word.

"La-te..." His whole body has begun to shake now.

"A-after...she died...I didn't...have any...anything else...in life...nothing...to str-ive for..."

"L-Lawrence..."

"I got...on that...bus...thinking...I was...going to...jump from...the bridge...that night..."

A violent shake wracks his body.

"I was...go-ing to kill...my-..." He is unable to finish his sentence. You reach a hand up to the shivering one touching you.

"Then I...saw you on...the bus...I th-ought...I could...get answers...before...I did it...that's why...I ch-chased...you..so long..."

You feel his hands clench up a bit.

"And then...I found...ano-ther pur-pose...some-one else...I cou-ld protect..." His voice is much raspier then before, each word becoming harder to say.

"Some...one...to make...up...for all...of my...f-fuck ups..." He pushes himself away, looking down at you with the broken expression of a man losing it.

"And...then I...realized...I was...just...using you...for my...own need...I even...tried to...scare you...away now...because...I don't...don't want to...say"

Lawrence backs up to the big solid desk.

"You thi-nk...I care...about you...but you're...just ano-ther...chance...for me..."

He slides down to the floor, a hand clutching his chest.

"...to be...a good...man..." It looks like he is only a few small moments away from losing it.
What do you do?
You watch as Lawrence opens his mouth to speak, but the only thing to come out is the hoarse and exasperated sob. You watch as the grown man in front of you breaks into tears, his other hand coming up to his face.
Rising out of your chair, you take careful steps towards him. As you approach you can see he's squirming, trying to turn away from you while also being trapped in his own angst.

You kneel down in front of him, and he refuses to look you in the face. Never have you been in the position where you were doing the comforting, but you act as if it all comes naturally.

Tugging his hand away from his face, you wrap your arms around his neck, pushing yourself closely against him. You can tell he wants to push you away or at the very least escape, but you don't let him.

Through his shivers and shakes you tighten your embrace.

"I would love it if I could be your friend for real then." You keep your voice steady and calm, and it's more then enough to crack the last of his defense.

This time you're the one being squeezed back, such a ferocious grip around your body but you endure it. It's always been you in tears, the one needing the affection, the one being for help.

And now you can offer it back.

You let him sob against your shoulder. It's not loud, Lawrence can't be loud. It's all coming out though, all the pain that has been bottled up inside and you can tell even without words.

"We're just two...messed up...pairs, aren't we..." You whisper this, but it's not really a question that needs an answer. His hands clutch at your tighter.

It's easier to be lonely when there's two of you.

...

The window is cracked and Lawrence is leaning out, a cigarette lit in his hand. You're sitting by him, watching the smoke carry out in the breeze. You held him for a while, and it was hard to pull away. There hadn't been a word between the two of you after this. You're almost surprised when Lawrence passes you a note.

Are you planning on always doing this? Living on the street, running from your mother and the police? "I don't want to stay on the streets...not really. But most of all...I think I wanna find out why I'm here." You look out the window.

"Why my mom...betrayed me. Why...why those guys thought it was okay to do what they did to me...and..." A hand brushes over your bite.

"How I ended up this way." You look back at him. "And then, I never wanna worry about running away."

Lotta promises from a little girl.

You smile and punch at his shoulder.

"Okay Mr Scaryman. Oooh look at me!" You square your shoulders and puff your chest out, speaking in a low manly voice. "I'm gonna try and scare away this poor girl like a jerk even though she just wants to help me!"

You furrow your brow and puff your cheek, trying to look mean. You're demeanor is sent flying with a well placed flick to your forehead.

"You're never going to pick up a nice lady if you keep that up!" You whine as you rub your forehead. Lawrence just smirks at you and continues smoking. He scratches down some words on his paper.

If you promise not to tell anyone I cried, then I'll help you out, alright?

"Alright, but you have to promise me something."

And what's that?
"Well...you have to show me where you're hiding your v-card-"
As soon as you say that Lawrence wraps an arm around your shoulder and digs the knuckles from his free hand into your scalp.

"I'm so-rry!"

When you're finally released from your bullying, hands rubbing your sore head, you give a new offer.

"Ouchie...okay...okay how about...best buddies then?"

Do you have to make it sound like you're in preschool?

"Augh! Friends! Be my friend dangit!" You stick your hand out to him, and his own easily envelopes it.

"This shake means you can't go back on it, alright? You have to keep it, or a thousand pins will stab your eye!"

And you brought it back to preschool.

"...please don't bully..."

By tomorrow the snowfall should have stopped. Moving around might suck but it can be doable. Don't focus too much on that though, try to focus on just being happy or something today alright?
Lawrence finished his cigarette before his next message.

What are you planning to do today?
"There's no much I can do right now..."

Maybe I can show you how to draw me with proper looking hands and not freakish claws.

Ack....the story and picture you did. Your face heats up.

"I...I wouldn't want to take drawing lessons from a big jerk like you!"

That's good, I think you're a loss hope.

You beat at his shoulders with your tiny fists.

"I don't wanna draw anyways!" You puff your cheeks and look away.
"I'd...I'd much rather write anyways...it's easier for me..."

Your story was surprisingly easy to read.

You're ready to accept the compliment when a second part is added.

Especially coming from a girl like you.

You decide to crumple the note in your hands instead. Another is immediately handed to you.

Maybe you want to practice writing then? If you give me something to work with I can even draw you something up.

"Ah...r-really?"

Long as it's not dumb. I only draw cool stuff.

What cool thing would you like Lawrence to draw for your story? "Um um well let's see..." You feel put on the spot. Your mind wracks over the possible ideas you could do, discarding most of them.
"What about...no no...uh and ah...no..."

It's like being thrust into the spot light.

"W-what about...a uh...a bear and a r-rabbit. But the bear is l-like...like a big strong knight, and he's on his way to protect his woods and the rabbit keeps making it h-hard for him...."

Can the bear ride a motorcycle?

"What? No! He's a bear!"

Lame, I love motorcycles.

You're prepared to scold Lawrence but decide against it when you see him laugh. Despite the genuine upbeat expression, you can still see the redness around his eyes and cheeks from earlier. A pang of pity hits you.

"We should probably head back down stairs." Lawrence tosses the cigarette butts out and fastens the window. Back out in the hallway you go, the floor creaking as you do.

"I can't believe there's that huge hole just in the middle of the floor like that, how awful would it be to not see it and fall thr-"

As you are about to finish your sentence, you feel your step sag into the floor. You are unable to stop yourself from stepping forward.

"....ah?"

You feel the sudden downward motion of your body as the floorboards beneath you crack and splinter, your leg and then the rest of you falling through. By instinct you grab the edge of the floor to prevent going through, and you hold on long enough to be pulled up.

"Thank you..." You're a little shaky as Lawrence sets you back on your feet. Brushing off your legs, you're a little dirty but no worse for wear. Lawrence is peering down the freshly made hole and you carefully look over his shoulder.

From what you can tell it leads down into one of the classrooms below, one of the ones you haven't been to before.
What do you do?
"Jeez that room is huge...I think it's one of the locked ones too."
You watch as Lawrence removes the loose floorboards away to reveal the way. It's not too big, but you feel like you could slide in through the hole.

"I think I could unlock it from inside if you lower me down."

Are you sure? It's a bit of a drop.

"I'll just try to land on that table right there, see it? Then I can let you in from the inside."

Lawrence clears out as much of the boards as he can before agreeing to lower you down. Holding on to his arm carefully, your feet dangle and search for the stable surface. As you let go there's a fear that you'll fall over, but you manage to find your spot.

"Okay...okay I'm good. Head down and I'll have it unlocked for you!" As you watch Lawrence disappear you jump off the table and go to unlock the door.

As you wait for Lawrence to go all the way down the building, down the stairs, and come back, you decide to take a look around. It looks like this room had been a science lab for the students. Long tables and stools take up most of the room, big empty cabinets line the walls, and a large blackboard with half wiped notes remain in the room. It's incredibly dusty as you look around. One of the cabinets look to still hold some of its remnants, but a lock on the door prevents you from entering. A door, only up to your hip, is hidden halfway behind one of the cabinets. In only a few minutes Lawrence enters the room, out of breath from rushing back.

What do you do?
"Do you think you could break into this?" You ask, pointing to the locked cabinet. Lawrence tries pulling it open, but the contents inside shake too much.
Not at the moment I can't, I would need some sort of tool to jimmy it open. If I force it now then it the stuff inside make break.

You look in through the long bars barring entry inside. You see boxes and boxes containing items such as dissection knives, gloves, alcohol wipes...on the higher shelves you can see an array of glass and marked containers.

"Okay...okay that makes sense...what about that cabinet?" You point to the one attempting to conceal the door. "Think you can move it?"

You step back as Lawrence pushes against the solid wood furniture. Even for him it takes plenty of effort to move, and there's a moment of panic as you see it sway and fall against him. Gritting his teeth and bracing his legs, Lawrence manages to win in the fight against gravity and pushes the cabinet upright again.

Now you can see the door clearly, despite all the dust covering it. It was made to match into the wall, and if it wasn't for the tethered handle you might have missed it. Grabbing on you try to pull it open.

...

A few steps back, you watch Lawrence try to pull it open. It takes some effort, but with the hinges screaming to be oiled he manages to pull open the secret door. Kneeling down, you can see that a short passage that leads into another room, though the room in the back is too small to see. Even with Lawrence peering his flashlight down you have trouble making out what it contains while standing outside.

What do you do?
You want to venture in, but you know that it might not be the smartest thing to blindly charge in.
...

Soon you, Lawrence, and John are crowded around the entrance. You had explained to Sam what you had found and he mentioned the possibility of a secret storage room. John pipped in that he would help you find out what could be inside.

"Well...it looks scary as hell." John's curtness of the situation doesn't really help you much, but he surprises you when he gets on his stomach and just crawls in. Lawrence and you watch as he pulls himself in, his ankles and feet poking out of the frame. His muffled voice tries to travel from inside.

"We can't hear you!" You shout at him, and suddenly John quickly begins to squirm and wriggle about. Is...is he stuck?...

Lawrence and you grab at what is available of his body and help pull him free.

"-DAMN-...IN MY HAIR!" John springs up, shaking himself and his head wildly.

"W-what did you see?" From his reaction you feel like he must have saw something terrible.

"AH DAMN SPIDERS-...ah, inside? Well there's a room, that's for sure. It looks like there's some supplies in there and a bit of a weird smell, but I don't think anything is going to grab ya..." John picks off a little spider from his hair and flings it away. "...specially since I just cleared out all the cobwebs for ya...I can't fit much further in and Law sure as hell can't. If you wanna go in you'll fit but I don't blame ya if you don't."

Do you want to go in?
"Okay...okay sure, I'll do it." You feel less confident when you are given the flashlight.
"If anything, just scream and ole' John here will come after ya missy." John smirks and points his thumb back at Lawrence. "Less the Law here decides to rip down the wall for ya first."

You get on all fours, pointing the flashlight in. The floor of the passage is rough concrete, like it had been poured in a hurry. You take your first movements in and instantly feel the claustrophobia from the situation. Just a short crawl...you can handle a short crawl right?

To your disappointment, the room is hardly any bigger then the crawl space. You are only able to crouch inside. Unlike the basement this room is much smaller, what little space there is covered in boxes, tarps, and dust.

"You alright in there?" You hear John's voice travel down.

"Yes! It's just...really tiny in here...who was this built for..." You pull one of the tarps away, causing the stack of boxes to topple.

"What was that?...-Law calm down I'm sure she's fine-"

"I just-" You cough as the dust fills the air. "I just knocked down some boxes is all."

Kneeling down you set them up right. It looks like cans...should be able to use them, right? As you pull one of the big boxes to you a shiver runs down your spine.

Is...is that...?

You shine your light at the newly exposed corner.

In it sits the small frame of a skeleton, not much bigger then you, in a faded and musky dress.

What do you do? Calm, be calm...it's just a skeleton.
You back up towards the entrance.

It's the skeleton...of a dead girl...

Despite the cramped space, you run out of there with such speed.

Alright, you're out of there, now you can just need to calmly explain to the two confused men what you saw.

"Wassit missy? Didja see a spider?"

"I just saw a skeletonofalittlegirlohmygod-"

Smooth, nice job remaining calm Delilah.

"Wait...skeleton? In there?"

Instead of answering you can only accomplish nodding quickly.

...

You, Lawrence, and John peer into the hole as you await for Mabel to reappear. Her head pops out, dusty and annoyed.

"I uh...I'm stuck."

Mabel is helped out of the secret door, a tarp in her arms. She sets it down, and you can see she has wrapped up the body inside.

"I don't think there's anymore dead people lurking inside." Mabel says as she dusts herself off. "Didn't expect to find...well...a kid though."

"Are...are we going to bury it?" You ask, as all the adults are just starring at the wrapped up bundle.

"Can't really do that. What d'you think it would look like if we walked out carrying something like this? They'd think we were running a human slaughter house." John sounds serious, something you haven't seen from him before.

"He's right, can't take it to the police neither. They'll ask where we found it and then we're outta another home."

It seems like...they have been down this path before.

You should find something to do for now while we figure out this situation "It's alright, I'm not a kid you know. I'm not scared by a sk-skeleton." You try to keep the tough demeanor despite your wavering voice.

"Alrighty, if you're not scared then how bout going back in there and pushing that stuff out? Maybe we can find something about this chick."

You would rather not, but you take the flashlight and venture back into the storage. Even though the skeleton is gone the idea of someone dying in such a small space if horrifying to you.

You can't make out the words, but you can tell that the three of them are discussing what to do. As they talk you work on moving the boxes out. Five boxes, each one filled with canned and nonperishable foods. You push them one by one into the classroom, returning back in after the last box to scrounge the area. You look and look, but aside from the tarps there seems to be little else. As the light does one last sweep, a slight sparkling catches your eye.

It seems to be a ring, a plain silver band. You hold it tightly in your hand as you crawl out to the open space. Examining the ring in better light, you can see there is a message craved inside of it.

To my dearest Amy

Amy...you remember seeing this phrase before...

Oh...wait...

You pull out the penny you had found in the basement. The portrait of the young girl's silhouette looks back at you...

Did you find Amy?

"...we'll just have to put it back I guess."

"That's so awful...putting her back in the dark like that..."

"I know missy, but we can't really risk carrying a dead body outta these doors."

"..."

You watch as Mabel goes back with the skeleton in her arms, placing her back into the place that will now serve as her tomb. The door to her is closed, and silence fills the room.

"Ah...well..." John picks up one of the boxes. "Better take these in and see what we got to work with."

Mabel and you each grab a box, Lawrence the last two, and you all help John carry the supplies back. Your box feels incredibly heavy...

As you set the box down you can feel the penny and the ring in your pocket.

What would you like to do now?
You pull the penny and ring out of your pocket. Lawrence and Mabel look preoccupied with taking out the food, so you get John's attention instead.
"Hey...I found this in the room with the uh...girl..." You pull out the ring and hand it to him, along with the penny. "And this in the basement."

"Well damn, look at that. I haven't seen one of these in a while." John examines the penny with earnest.

"What is it?"

"Ah well, we use to call em 'sweetheart pennies'. Back when I was in the army they were pretty popular. Lotta people had trouble coming across paper and canvas for a while and stuff like pennies and nickles were pretty worthless. If you wanted to impress someone you'd take a couple of 'em to a penny melter. They'd make the stuff flat and then you could pay someone to put a portrait on it. Ladies loved em cause they could put em in their necklaces and carry em around, and guys liked it cause they could take em when they were drafted or even have them sent in letters."

"Isn't that illegal? Messing up money like that?"

"Eh, it's a fine line. Course they went outta business when the feds cracked down on that kinda stuff, so it's pretty rare to find em."

He hands the items back to you.

"Y'know missy, it's weird. She had all this food and water, but she didn't touch none of it. Didn't look like she had been shot or nothing either, I don't know if she actually died there or if she was put there. Pretty sad either way." John has a somber look fall over his face. "I hate seein' something like that happen to kids y'know? I always think bout my own-"

John quickly stops what he's saying and doing, a distantly staring off. You decide to change the subject.

"Do you think there would be any old school records here?"

"..."

"J-John?"

He suddenly snaps back as you say this.

"Ah sorry, what were you askin' me?"
"School records, do you think there would be any?"

"Well...maybe in the front office? Locked up tight though from what I remember. If you can wait an hour or so I'll give ya something you can use to get into those doors."

John gets to work cleaning off the filthy cans.

What do you want to do to pass the time?
You decide to go over to Aria, who is brushing Marilyn's hair.

"It's so nice and thick...you got this from your gram, didn't ya?" Aria is pulling a comb through Marilyn's straight black hair.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"You have those cute Asian features, and you can see it in your hair." Aria rolls Marilyn's hair into a bun, fixing a big bow to it.

"There we go...all done." Aria greets you when you approach.

"Oh hey Bunny. Did Mabel help you guys out fine?"

"Yeah, but I was hoping you could um..help me with something."

Marilyn thanks Aria and runs off.

"What's up?"

"I uh...I have these...bruises...I need Sam to look at. But I'm a little embarrassed to show him alone. They're right uh..." You point at the spot near your stomach. The marks rest just underneath your the band of your underwear.

"AH! Yeah sure! You just want me to be there so you're not alone?"

You nod and Aria jumps up.

"Cool, no problem, let's go."

The two of you come up to Sam and tell him that you're ready to be examined. He leads you to a separate room and has you remove your pants. You're more embarrassed then nervous about this, but with Aria there you are able to slip them off. The teacher's desk is used for the makeshift examination table and you lay back on it.

"Alrighty lets take a look. I promise this will be over fast."

With a shaky hand you pull down the band of your underwear just enough to show off the two bumps. Sam's hand reaches up and touches them and you do your best to not flinch away.

"Huh...this is strange..."

"W-what is it?..."

"You said this was a bite, right?"

"I think so...no one else has looked at it."

"Well, I can't say for sure now that these seemed to be so healed up. But they don't seem to be from any animal I'd recognize."

"What?"

Sam thinks a bit and writes down some notes in a small notebook.

"You think this has something to do with your..ah...'condition'?"

You nod.

"Well, like I said I'm going to look further into it. I need to get the monthly supply of medicine within a few days. Just hold out till then, and let me know if anything else goes wrong, alright?"

You thank him and get dressed again. You also thank Aria and let her go back to her business.

Lawrence comes up to you, a long thin piece of metal in his hand, gesturing back that John gave it to him.

What would you like to do now?
It will be too dark to investigate in safety in a short time, so you decide to investigate first. Afterwards you'll get to writing, your finger has been itching to do it.

"Would you mind helping me into the office?"

Lawrence looks lost so you elaborate.

"I find these..." You show him the ring and penny "And I am pretty sure they are...were...those girl's. John said there might be some school records in the office and I guess I'm just...curious."

Lawrence agrees to help you and you set out to find the office. In a hall you have not been to you find the front entrance to the school, right by it looks like the administration rooms. You give it a try and find that, of course, the door is locked.

"Could you um...get this open for me?"

You step back as Lawrence approaches the door with the metal. You expect him to ram it between the frame and the handle, forcing it open like in the movies. You're a little excited to see something like that in action.

In all honesty, you're disappointed when he just uses the metal to break the doors window and reaches in to unlock it from the inside.

On the inside, the office is a complete mess. Whereas the rest of the building had been abandoned and left to the ages, it is like a storm blew through here. Papers and books are thrown on the ground, the chair knocked over, the potted plants long since dead. You and Lawrence try to look through these various pages but it looks like most of them are just classroom related.

While investigating underneath the desk you discover a picture frame buried away. Pulling it out, you can see it has been crushed by a foot print. The photo is clear enough to see though, a picture of a professionally dressed woman standing next to a girl. Your heart sinks a bit as you realize the girl in the photo was wearing the same dress as the girl in the secret room. You pocket the photo and leave the frame. There are some filing cabinets, locked of course, but at this point you have run out of light to use.

"I guess we should get dinner now." You head back out. You're a little disappointed you couldn't find out more at this time.

Back in the main room, you receive a bowl of rice soup. Between bites you write, Lawrence sitting across from you with his sketchbook.

What would you like to talk about while you work?
You think back to the picture you found.

"What...do you think about that photo? The one from underneath the desk?"

What do you mean?

"The girl in that photo...do you think she was the one..."

Probably. If I was to guess, I would say that was her and her mother, it looks like her mother worked her. You can see the fence in the background. Plus if the school was all locked up, it would make a bit more sense if she got in because her mother had connections here.

Ah...you didn't even think about all this.

"I'm just trying to think about why she was in there..."

I think someone put her there.

"Why?"

How would she have placed the cabinet back? I could barely move those.

"Oh...that's so scary...being caught in there like that. I could barely move, but to be forced in there?" You grimace at the thought.

"It's so weird that the office was like that too. It's like someone came in later or something..."

Who knows

"Hmm..."

You decide to focus on your writing. As it gets darker you finally set down your pen and stretch.

"Can I see the drawings?"

Can I read your writing?

"N-not till it's done!"

Then no.

You're a bit frustrated at this, but you leave it alone for now.

You prepare yourself for bed. Looking at your little 'nest', you are reminded about how lonely it is.

Do you want to move your sleeping area?
You're thinking about where to move when Buttercup runs up to your leg. As you pick her up you see Marilyn was close behind.
"Oh sorry, I didn't realize you two were playing." You hand her back the puppy when she spots that you've bundled up your blanket.

"Are you going somewhere?"

"No. Well I mean, I'm just moving my stuff."

"That's good, you looked so alone here." A grin reaches the corners of her face. "I'm surprised you didn't miss your boy~friend from out here."

"E-excuse me?"

Marilyn has a smug grin on her face and it feels like she is boring a hole into your soul.

"Y-you haven't been saying that around, have you?"
"Why? Is it true?"

"Of course not!"

"Then why's your face all red?"

You attempt to cover your cheeks but its too late. Averting your eyes, you can still feel Marilyn's smug face burning into you.

"I won't tell no body...tonight."
"You won't tell anybody EVER cause it's not true!"

She sticks her tongue at you before running off.

...

Well...you were going to ask Lawrence originally but...you feel like you might fan Marilyn's fire.

You go and see that Jessica is sitting with Mabel and Aria in a circle on the floor.

"-...don't see why you won't try girls out, it might be a nice change of pace for you."

"Well, even if I wanted to with a girl...I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Mabel! It's her...y'know...ah sorry Jessica..."

"It's okay Aria. I'd have to be super carefully normally during sex now, but if I was to...you know...with another chick then it could be easier for her to catch 'it'."

"Oh man, bummer."

"Yeah, I mean I really miss regular se-BUNNY!" Jessica goes beet red as she stops herself.

"Sorry if I'm interrupting, I was just hoping I could..." You feel a little embarrassed about asking them. "Hang...out with you guys."

"Ah yeah, of course! Um here..." Jessica moves over and gives you a place to sit in the mess of blankets. You take the spot and Aria claps her hands.

"Hey! It's kinda like a slumber party now! I haven't done one of these in forever!"
"Don't pop a gasket...actually yeah, that does sound fun. It'd give me a chance to bully the new girls." Mable smirks as she says this and you feel a bit...at unease.

"We won't do spin the bottle or nothing...but I feel like truth-or-dare might be fun~" Mable has started to warm up to the thought and your fear of her bullying you grows.

"Since you're the shortest and the youngest..." Mable's grin continues to grow.

"Truth or dare?"
Oh god, choose a good one...oh no...oh no oh no oh no oh no-

"D-dare?" Yeah..yeah that's good, you'll seem cool now.

Mabel's grin spreads even wider, you're worried it will rip from her face.

"Okay, I dare you..."

Oh god...what is she going to have you do?

"...to go..."

Please be easy please be easy pleasepleaseplease

"...and give a kiss..."

Oh godohgodohgodohgod

"...to Clark."

"...eh?'

"MABEL!"

"Hey! I'm just saying a smooch! A peck on the lips! Hell, just do it on his forehead! I know he has a crush on you Bunny~"

"W-what?" You turn to Jessica for support...but she has the same wide grin across her face.

"O-okay...I'll go do it..." You get up, seeing that Clark and Thompson are eating and looking at comics. Your face is bright red long before your approach the two boys.

"Uhm...um Clark...?

He looks up at you with his spoon dangling out of his mouth. Before you give him a chance to speak you grab his cheeks and plant a kiss on his forehead.

Clark looks horrified.

He immediately tries to rub away your cooties while Thompson can not stop laughing at him. You're afraid you'll burn up before you get back. You wish you would have when you see Mabel and Jessica giggling like crazy. Aria tries to look serious but you can see her suppressing her own grin.

"O-okay! I did it...i-it's my turn! M-Mabel...truth-or-dare."

Between giggle fits Mabel squeezes out the word 'dare'.

What do you dare her?
"Alright...I dare you to kiss-"

"Are you going to say Aria?"

"N-no..."

"I'm using my pass then. Monogamy is sexy, ya know?"

"W-we have passes?"

"Starting now. So try again."

"Okay then...umm....sing your favorite song. Really loudly."

With an unmatched confidence, Mabel stands up and takes a deep breath.

You've heard people with amazing voices before, almost angelic in nature.

Mabel's take on Jessie's Girl is an affront to all things good and holy to the world. She sings it in its entirety though, and you regret it. Aria is embarrassed at first but can't stop herself from laughing to the point of breathlessness.

...

The time passes, each of you going around. Stupid and dumb fun wastes nearly two hours, but you enjoy every second of it. You guys decide to end it with a dare to Mabel to show off her knife trick.

Holding your open blade, she stands in front of her audience of three.

"Now, be prepared for the natural talent of the Sanchez family, as I amaze you with the only party trick we know!"

You're all ready to watch her begin. As Mabel starts there's a sudden movement of her body as she sneezes, the blade catching in her palm.

Dropping the knife, you can see she cut herself.

"Ohmygod are you alright?" Aria is the first one up, looking at Mabel's hand.

"Ah shit...yeah babe I'm fine. Hurts like hell though..." Mabel holds her hand out, the blood dripping from her hand to the floor. As you get up you catch the stench of her blood.

Her savory smell.

Jessica jumps up as you're frozen in place, your chest growing tight.

There's so much of it...it smells amazing...

Your eyes spot your knife, the edge covered in crimson.

What do you do?
Calm...stay calm. Sam...you can get to Sam and he will know what to do...maybe...you can at least let him check you out and understand what you go through...maybe this is a good thi-

As you stand up your knife is handed to you by Jessica.

"H-here, we need to get her fixed up. This shouldn't be on the floor."

And as the scent is brought before you again, your rational thinking snaps.

As you snatch the knife away from Jessica you are able to just catch a glimpse of her face. She realizes what's wrong with you too late.

"I'm sorry-"

Before she can say anymore you rush off, knife in hand.

You go to the first room you can find; a dinky supply closet. Slamming the door, you fall to the floor and give in to your instinct.

How disgusting, licking the knife like this.

There's a huge rush for you as you lick the metal clean, your head hitting the door behind of you as you bask in the feeling.

"Ah...ha..."

You throw the knife in the darkness and your head collapses into your arms as you begin to weep.

Pathetic, you weren't even hungry...why did you react like this?

You have the familiar feeling of wanting more in your stomach.

There's a knock in the wood behind you.

"Bunny...are you okay?" It's Marilyn, she sounds concerned.

You don't want her to see you like this.

"Go AWAY!" You shout, but your voice is closer to a cry.

In silence you sit again, alone in the dark.

You're no longer sobbing, just ashamed.

So fucking ashamed.

A gentle knocking behind you.

"Bunny...I'm back..."

You say nothing.

"I uh...I brought Law with me too...we're worried about you..."

How fucking embarrassing.

What do you do?
"P-please...just give me a minute..."

You take a moment to collect yourself.
Wipe away the tears...wipe away the blood around your mouth.

...lick the blood from your fingers in your desperation.

The knife...okay...where is the knife...there okay...

You close the knife and slip it into your pocket, standing up. You push open the door slowly, to the sight of Marilyn and Lawrence standing there. Marilyn offers you Buttercup, but you only feel comfortable with giving her a pet.

"Are you okay now?..." Marilyn is speaking to you softly.

"Thank you...and I'm sorry for yelling..."

"It's okay, you were sad. I forgive you." Marilyn looks between you and Lawrence and takes a few steps back.

"I'll wait a little bit before I check on you again..." You nod at her and watch as she goes around the corner.

Lawrence takes his steps toward you, and you already know his question.

"It happened...again...Mabel cut herself...it smelt amazing. I didn't even have any...any cravings and I almost lost it right there..."

You bite your lip as you remember how it tasted.

"I didn't jump her...but I...I took the knife and...I licked it like some sort of animal..." Your head is buzzing but not enough to take away the awful feelings.

"And I want more...I just want more and more and I don't understand...I wasn't even craving it..." You can feel your fingers twitching, like you are trying to prepare yourself to spring in action. But for what? To do what?

"I think...I think I need a way to let you know what I have these u-urges...no matter where we are..." You watch the distance between you and Lawrence.

"That way if you need to...you can stop me...h-hopefully..."

Lawrence brings his right hand, in a cupped shape, to his throat. As you watch he brings it in a downward motion towards his chest.

"Hun-gry." He says it once as he continues the motion. You mimic him and he shows you another.

This time he holds his left hand over his chest and brings his right index finger to his mouth. His right finger goes down from his lips to his chin before the palm opens up and goes down to his chest.

"Bl-ood." You follow his motion and he performs one more.

His left palm open and up, he places his right fist on top with his thump poking up, raising both of them up.

"He-lp."

"That's a lot...I th-think I'll need to practice when I'm not...not messed up."

Lawrence nods and starts to walk towards you. As he does you remember the other night in the basement, the memory of his scent filling your head.

What do you do?
It should be fine...you can control yourself now. There's no blood around, you're fine.
Lawrence kneels down enough to be at your level and pulls you in close. Your hands come up and hold his shoulders as you take the time to further calm down.

Ah...why can't you get your heart to stop beating so fast?...

There's an irritation inside of you, like you didn't get to finish...

Finish feeding...

It's fine...just take some time now, focus on something else.

You focus on the sound of Lawrence's breathing, the movement of his chest, his hands on your back, the sound of his heart...

Ah..no don't think about that...it just makes you more...more excited...

No its okay...just don't focus on his heart...

You bury your face in his neck. As you breath you can smell his skin...it's...

It's similar to how he tastes...

Ah...no no no...

Your grip on him tightens but there's the feeling that you need to push away instead.

Your instinct is telling you to get closer...not for comfort but so you can...

"L-Lawrence..."

You can feel his face move so he can speak to you.

"What...?" That rusty voice again. He couldn't call for help if he wanted to...no one would be able to hear him...

No those are awful thoughts.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

What do you do?
You want to tell him but you find your body trying to act on its own. Your hands come up to grip his face, to hold him in place. It feels like you are ready to dive head first, ready to take a plunge you can't return from.

Lawrence is obviously confused with your actions...you could act before he could...you could just...right there...with your teeth...

You press your face against his neck.

Do it. Just do it. The need is screaming at you.

Your mouth opens.

Take care of yourself.

...

You move a hand down his cheek and to your mouth, biting your own skin hard. Lawrence catches on to what you are doing and pulls your face away, deep red teeth marks left behind in your flesh.

"I..." Okay, focus now.

"I think...I need t-to be locked away tonight...a-at least till this feeling goes away..."

You can't look him in the eyes, your own sight bouncing around.

"W-will you please...stay with me...b-behind the door...s-so I don't hurt anyone?"

...

Into the drawing classroom, you settle into the closet. Bigger then the supply one, you have a flash light, blanket, and some paper and pen with you. Lawrence sits on the other side.

The feeling still hasn't left you yet.

A note slides underneath the door.

I'll try to not fall asleep. Let me know if you need anything.

"D-don't let me out unless I'm safe...alright?"

I promise.

You wrap yourself in the blanket, staring at the wall in front of you.

The need is still there.

What do you do?
Your hand comes up to scratch at your neck.
How much time has passed now?

Too much...you still need...

You think back to the tree...the blood you have out there...

"Lawrence..." Your voice cracks a bit. "I-I have a favor..."

"Outside by that big tree...I buried some pig's blood. I don't know if it'll help...but if it does..."

Alright, I'll look for it. Can you give me more information?

"I uh...I marked it with some bark but it might be buried now...I-I'm sorry..."

It's fine. Stay put and I will be right back.

From inside the closet you can hear Lawrence rise up and leave.

You continue to sit alone in silence.

The time...it's passing by much to slowly. Your craving is growing much too quickly.

Maybe...you should try to get out and help him?...

You get up and leave the closet. Why does it feel like you're sneaking out?..

As you get to the door leading to the hall way..a thought occurs to you...

Everyone would be asleep right now...you could...could easily...

Fight it...fight that feeling...

That dark awful feeling inside your stomach...

"H-ha..." Your head spins as you think about it.

You begin to open the door when your way is blocked by Lawrence.

His clothes are soaked, the package is in his arms, and he is looking down at you in...

Ah...you don't even care...

"Lawrence, I want out. I'm fine now." You add that last lie in quickly. As you try to push past him, his arm comes up and pulls you back.

"N-no I'm fine...just let me..." As you attempt to release yourself you can hear the package drop and his other arm comes around, pinning your arms down and raising you off the ground.

"Hey...let me go Lawrence...L E T M E G O" The anger in your voice is...it's not yours.

The words still came from your mouth though...what the hell...

You struggle as Lawrence carries you back. In desperation you see his arm is close enough and sink your teeth down. Before you can taste that wonderful taste your body is pushed into the closet, the door slammed shut.

"Let me outta here!" There's of course no answer, and you try to leave yourself. That bastard is holding the door closed. You push hard against it, then beat against it with your fists. Angry sobs come from your chest as you keep trying to escape the room. You give up on the door and scratch at your throat in frustration.

"I want out...I want to feed...I want...I w-want..." You end your sentence in a cry.

For much longer then you should, you keep this up. It comes to the point where you stop only because you are exhausted. On the cold ground you lay, cheeks red and stained with angry tears, your chest heaving heavy, your throat scratched raw. A note slides underneath for you, but you ignore it for some time.

When you finally look at it, you struggle to read the message.

What do you want now?
As you read over the words over and over again, you feel hopeless.

"I want to die right now..." You whimper, and from the noise outside you can tell your choice of words startled Lawrence.

"...c-can you...give me the pig's blood...please?"

From your spot on the ground you watch as the door open a crack. Lawrence stands with the white box in his hands, and a terrible knot in your stomach tightens. He's probably waiting to make sure you won't do anything.

All you can manage at this point is to sit up, your body attempting to fall over itself.

Lawrence kneels down and opens the package for you. Inside you can see the soft, pinkish-brown squares waiting for you.

"I'm a little scared to try th-this..." You say, the thought of pig blood turning you away. Yet you'll try human...

With your bare hand you reach up and grab a small chunk in your hand. Your body is shaking as you bring it up to your mouth. Is it from fear or need?...

You put the chunks in your mouth. They flatten and drain down your mouth. For a moment you gag. There's that distinct taste of iron but something else mixed in there...something awful...

You force it down. There's...there's not that wonderful feeling...

In desperation you force more of the cubes down, forcing yourself to swallow each one till you can't stand it any more.

...

There's that...slight tingle in your head...

It's barely anything...nothing compared to people. But you more then welcome the minuscule pleasurable feeling.

"T-there's a little bit...of it there...that feeling...it's not much but..." Your hands are shaking still. "I-I should pr-probably keep sleeping in the closet for now...till the morning..."

You once again find yourself laying on the floor of the closet, the coat balled up underneath your head and the blanket covering you. The slight buzz and the feeling of want make it hard to sleep. As you curl up you catch some of the lingering smell of Lawrence on the coat and shiver.

How...how bad will you become?...

Your father promised you something that he never got the chance to do or get before he died. What was it?
As you lay there, shivering in the blanket, your mind thinks back to warmth...

The beach...your father promised you a trip to a beach that summer. Living in the north you never got the chance to visit one, and the thought of a wide ocean and endless beach seemed amazing. You remember the day he promised it...

You had been in a sorry mood after talking with your friend on the phone. Her family was on their annual ski trip, and the way she was talking about it sounded just amazing. When you described your jealousy, your father mentioned the idea of your own family vacation. You guys never went on one because of his work, but as he looked at your pitiful expression your father promised that you could choose a place to visit. The first words out of your mouth was 'beach', and your father swore that in the summer you all would go.

Four months later you stood on the edge of a hole, watching your father's casket descend into the ground. It was an awfully cold day.

"I wanna go to the beach..." You mumble, mostly to yourself. Tighter you curl yourself up, trying to keep your body warm and your shivers down.

Despite not having any dreams your sleep in restless that night.

....

When you wake up, you're incredibly thirsty.

However, your thirst is for juice rather then blood.

You try to push the door open but there's a wait against it keeping you in. Confused you try again but hear snoring. Instead you are forced to knock against the door till Lawrence wakes up. He creaks the door open just enough to look at you.

"I'm fine now...I feel fine anyways...now I just want something to drink..." Upon hearing your voice Lawrence lets you leave your makeshift cell. "Thanks for helping me through that."

Lawrence gives a tired smile and a thumbs up. You exit the room with him following close. He excuses himself and you go for breakfast. Eggs once again...this time scrambled. They are much easier for you to eat now. You make sure to get your juice, enjoying the short glass. As you finish Mabel approaches you.

"What's up chick? Mind if I talk with you for a bit?"

"Oh yeah...sure. What's up?" You look down and see that her hand is bandaged from last night. You avert your eyes away before she notices.

"Pretty scary shit last night, wasn't it?"

"Y-yeah..."

"Man, I swear Aria was never gonna stop crying. She worries cause I'm a uh...what's the word...hemophiliac. I cut myself and just bleed. Had to have her hold down a bandage for a while and she wanted to hold it down all night. 's all good now though, Sam's a good doctor."

"Oh th-that's good..."

"Yeah. You ran off so fast, does blood scare you?"

"Uh..."

"Jessica mentioned something about it bothering you. Hope I didn't freak ya out too bad."

"Oh no, it's fine!"

"That's good...that's good...so if you don't mind..."

"What?"

"Why were you all alone with Lawrence last night?"
For a brief moment, panic takes you over.

"He...he was just helping me last night...I was having a bad...bad..." You look down as you say this, emphasizing on the last word.

"Bad moment...I couldn't be around a t-ton of people." You keep your gaze averted to the ground, your hands and fingers intertwining and twisting. "E-ever since I've met him...Lawrence has been a good...good rock for me...to stand on when I get..."

Once again you let your words trail off, hoping that Mabel will not press further. Suddenly her hands come up to your cheeks and she bends your head to the side, staring intensely at your neck.

"H-hey! What're you doing?!" You're confused as your head gets tilted the other direction.

"Hmm..." Mabel's sounds like she's thinking before she lets your face go.

"Aria...Aria mentioned that you had some weird...uhh bruises or something."

"Y-yeah?"

"Can you show me?"

You quickly shake your head.

"It's too low, it's-"

"Oh your hip, right?"

"Y-yeah, by my underwear..."

Mabel is looking off, her face reflecting her thinking.

"W-was there anything else you needed?"

"Nah, just checking up on ya chick. Listen, there's something I need to do now. Try not to pass out aight?" Before you can say anything Mabel walks off. As you consider going after her you see Marilyn come up to you. Once again she is holding Buttercup and offers her to you.

"Are you feeling better now?..." She asks as you take the puppy.

"Yeah...a lot better. Thanks." Marilyn nods as you pet Buttercup.

"I uh...I was supposed to tell Pappy...when you get sick. He told me to keep an eye on you..." She looks down, as if she has done something wrong. "But Jessica told me that I should give you some time first..."

That's right...Jessica doesn't know that Sam knows about your condition now.

"You're not sick...like she is, are you?"

"Like Jessica? No...no I'm not like her."

"That's good...her stuff is scary. I'd...I'd be a bit worried if you had it too..."

"Aw, that's actually sweet of you."

"I'm sure your boyfriend would cry too-"

Her face is a mix of pain and a smug grin as you shake her by her shoulders.

After Marilyn finishes bullying you, she has to go off to study with Sam. Looking around, you see that Jessica and the kids are gone and you don't see Lawrence or Mabel anywhere.

What do you do?
You see John is sitting with a bucket in front of him, peeling potatoes. As you arrive he greets you and you take a seat in front of him.

"Do you know where Jessica is?" You watch as he drags the knife over the potato expertly, the thin skin winding up and falling into the upturned bucket.

"Think she and Aria took the little ones for showers. It might snow again in a few days so they wanted to make sure it's done before then." As he speaks John keeps peeling, the unusually large and scary knife making such precise and delicate movements. He notices you watching and grins.

"Pretty neat, huh? Most people stick with peelers, but I like this way much better. Reminds me of when I use to serve."

"In the army?"

"Yep!"

"Same one as Sam?"

"Excuse you, I'm a spring chicken. I served in the one after him. Was a cook then too." He finishes the potato and grabs another one and looks up at you.

"Wanna try?"

"With a knife? That big?"

"Why not? You'll do fine, it'll help ya get some control over it too." John passes you a potato and the knife. They both feel too big in your hands...

...

A bit later you are still on your first potato, large chunks of it missing and in the bucket.

"You'll get the hang of it. Potatoes are cheap so don't worry about messing up too much."

What would you like to talk to John about?
As you work on not butchering the potatoes, you decide to talk to John about his own war stories.

"So, if you didn't go to Vietnam, where were you?"

"Ukraine."

"Wh-where?"

"It's over by Russia, on the uh...the west end."

"What was that like?"

"Pretty boring for a while. Got crazy near the end."

"What happened?"

"Well, I wasn't really at the front lines. I was in this town, nice little town. Folks there were pretty kind. There was this huge famine hitting the area though. Lots of people were going much longer without food then they should have. They were trying to do their best, and most of them were thankful for our troop stationed there. Course one day..."

John trails off again, and as you accidentally cut out another chunk of potato you feel like you should change the subject a bit.

"Um...did...did you ever hear anything weird like...people eating other people?"

"You sure you wanna hear that kinda story missy?"

You nod and John leans back a bit.

"I didn't see it directly...but that famine was pretty bad. There was rumors of folks...well...they said folks would go and lure other folks away to chop em up and sell the meat. Lotta people got sick from that, lotta people died and then they would take those dead bodies and chop em up too. But that's just what I heard, my town...that town never did that."

"S-sorry about asking..."

"Nah, it ain't your fault missy. I just left that war a missing stuff compared to when I went in. Less like Sam and more..." John taps the side of his head. You nod in understanding.

"Anyways, it looks like you're doing alright so far, but I can tell you hate it. Here, I'll take it." You pass John the knife as you place your poor misshapen spud with the rest.

"Ah, will you do me a favor actually?"

"Oh, sure."

"I remember seeing a big plastic tub in one of the room, far end of the building, first floor, left side. If you could grab it for me, I need something I can soak these in."

"No problem." You jump up and head down that long hall. As you go you can hear Mabel's voice coming from down a different hall, from within a classroom.

Do you get the tub or try to listen to what she's saying?
With her weird behavior earlier, you think it might be worth trying to get a listen on what Mabel is talking about. Carefully you tiptoe down the hall, hanging a few feet behind the cracked door she's in. You can only hear Mabel's voice...maybe she's talking with Lawrence.
"...-just that my cousin went through that too, y'know man?"

"If she's got em right there...it just the way she described it made it sound like track marks..."

"She might be trying to hide em other ones too...I just wanted to know if-"

"Nah I'm not sayin' that she's doing it now, but if there's a chance of it..."

"Well you're always together, I was wondering if you had seen any others or somethin'-"

"Hey man, I told you that I don't think you're a chimo, no need to get defensive about it."

"Man, I just told you I didn't think you were doing anything weird! The way you're going on about it might change my mind though!"

Mabel starts to sound frustrated. As you continue to listen there is the sound of someone suddenly standing up. It would probably be best to not stay.

You run off before you can see whoever came out, and hopefully before they saw you. Running all the way to the classroom, you only stop once you're behind the door.

What were they talking about?...

You find the tub for John and rush to bring it back. As he washes it you see Mabel storming back in.

What do you do?
Mabel seems pretty peeved right now...you consider talking to her till she picks up and screams into her pillow.

M-maybe later...

Lawrence hasn't came back yet...it should be easy to find him. Well, maybe. You go and check through each room on the first floor. Nothing...up the stairs and to the second floor. You are careful to avoid any holes, including the one previously made by you. Back to the room from earlier, you see the door is closed. Carefully you sneak up to it, looking through the window.

Once again you see that Lawrence is leaning out the window leading to the back, cigarette in hand. You're about to go in but he seems...tense. His body and posture just seem...a little scary right now. You keep watching as he flicks out the butt, standing up straight and closes the window. Seems like a good time to come in now-

C R A C K

You watch in absolute shock as Lawrence's fist breaks into the wooden wall in front of him. He stays in place like that for a minute, his shoulders heaving. Finally, after what feels like forever, he pulls his hand away from the splintered wall.

From here, you can see the look on his face...it's anger. Lawrence begins to pace the room, his hand running through his hair as he's thinking. A mix of annoyance, concern, and worry shadows his face.

Calmly you open the door. Lawrence stops in his place and when you make eye contact with him you can see the irritation in his eyes, even after he tries to hide it. You can see his knuckles are scrapped up but not bleeding. Thank god...

"H-hey..." You really try to keep your voice calm so he wouldn't know you had watched him.

Lawrence leans against the wall, scratching as his head a bit but trying to ask you what's up.

You take a seat at a desk by him.

What do you want to do?
"I just wanted to come in and say thanks...for last night. I don't...don't think there was any way I could have handled that myself."

You can see Lawrence offer up a smile in acceptance, but there's something holding back the joy from spreading to the rest of his face and body.

"I'm always getting help here it seems. But I wanted to know if you're okay. You seem kinda p-peeved..." It crushes you to see his smile disappear.

"I was helping John earlier, he needed me to fetch something and I c-couldn't help overhearing...overhearing what Mabel was saying."

At the mention of her name you can see Lawrence's hand clench up.

"She mentioned something about...'track marks' and um...'ch-'....'chimos'?" You grimace as you watch Lawrence's expression turn dark once again. He's looking off in front of him and you hesitantly ask the next part.

"What...what are those? Why was she talking about them?..."

Lawrence seems to have a bit of difficulty getting his writing out, and when you get the note it's obvious that the pen was pressed hard and his letters contain a part of his irritant.

Track marks are spots on your body from needles. When someone takes drugs like that they usually get these marks up and down their arms and legs.

A chimo is a child molester.

Mabel was talking about how she was worried that you could be or used to be on something and that you would be hiding the 'tracks' under your clothes instead.

She was asking me about it because she thought I would have seen any of the others.

"Why does that...does that make you so upset?"

Jessica already thought I was doing something to you.

Mabel said she didn't think I was doing anything weird but she assumes I would have seen underneath your clothes like 'that'.

What the hell do the others think? Do the others assume I'm too eager to run off with you constantly too? That I would do something awful like that?

You can tell that writing this out has only made Lawrence more upset.

What do you do?
You're unable to say anything. How would anyone think something so awful about Lawrence?

"I'll...I'll go tell Mabel! I'll let her know that it's always my fault...my fault that you're always running off with me! I'll...I'll even..."

You are struck with inspiration and determination for helping Lawrence.

"I'll tell everyone that you've just been helping me! That...that I need you...if I need to...I'll...I'll even tell everyone about my...my condition!"

As soon as you say these words panic fills Lawrence's face and he quickly waves his hands 'no'.

"Why not? That would clear up any confusion then, right? I wouldn't need to worry about them being so awful to you anymore."

In such a hurry Lawrence writes, his words a mess on the page.

And you think everyone would just accept that? Just instantly? You are lucky as hell that the people you have told haven't tried to send you to the loony bin!

'Hello I'm a little girl and I need blood' doesn't make you sound like an appealing person to have, especially with children around.

"I'll j-just tell them...it's a...a medical condition! They should understand then, right?"

Even if they don't think you're just insane then they might treat you like a leper. Someone with an unknown 'disease' living among the group, with no way of knowing if it's spreadable, and then they have a craving for blood? They might think you'll attack them in their sleep

"But I'm just a little girl..."

A little girl who fucked me up, remember? What will you do if that happens again? At least right now if you go crazy again I can just pick you up and carry you off and blame it on a hysteric episode or something. If they know you like to feed and go crazy like that then don't you think they will be scared, even if you are just a little girl?

"I'm not c-crazy...just..." You are feeling upset at these words.

I'm not saying you are crazy but that won't change how the others might see it. And if they decide you are a threat to the group, not everyone will be willing to wait for spring to kick you out. Or worse, they will just hand you over the police.

"They've been so nice though! They wouldn't do something l-like that! You're just overreacting!" Your voice is much more angry then you were prepared for, and you can see the frustration in Lawrence grow.

Fine, tell them. It sounds like you want to go back to your mother.

Your heart breaks as soon as you read these words, despite Lawrence's best efforts to pull them back before you can see them. Your lip quivers as you try to keep the tears in.

"H-how could you say something s-so a-awful..."

Before Lawrence can try to pull back the damage he's done you run out of the room and down the hall. Down the stairs and to the closet from yesterday, you shut yourself in as you wipe away your tears.

What do you do?
How could he think you would possibly want to do anything that would send you back to your mother? The thought of her right now make you feel...

You feel a mixture of sick and rage.

But...

What he said might be right...

If it did cause panic and unrest with the group then what would you do? If anything you would need to leave...could you handle leaving out in the snow like this?

Still...you don't want Lawrence to be miserable because of it. Maybe you'll find a way to tell everyone...

But for now, you feel a need to talk to Mabel. He might be a stupid jerk, but Lawrence shouldn't have to get scolded for things that aren't his fault. You make sure to wait before you leave, that the tears are gone and the redness in your cheeks go down. Leaving your secluded place, you go out to find Mabel. She's got a big thick textbook in front of her, but you feel like she's not actually reading it.

"Hey..." You get her attention and you can tell that she was thinking.

"Oh hey you, what's up?"

"Please don't be mad..." You feel awkward admitting this. "I uh...I overheard you talking with Lawrence earlier...just a little bit!"

"Really? And what did ya hear?" Mabel doesn't look upset at you, thank god.

"I just...I just heard you talking to him. And I...I don't want you to think he's been doing anything...'weird' with me..."

As you say this Mabel lets out a loud groan.

"Oh for fuck's sake...I don't think he was doing anything weird with you!" She nearly tosses the textbook. "I'm just scared that you would be like...shootin' up or something. My cousin did it, and one day she just...did too much. She just wasn't the same afterwards. I didn't want you to go through the same thing, it's awful."

Mabel looks a bit sad as she says this.

"I'm not uh...'shooting up' or anything, I promise."

"You swear?"

"Of course!"

"Good. Course now I probably owe Law a pack of beer..." Mabel looks back at you. "Don't get into that kinda stuff, drugs. It'll just mess you up..."

"But drinking is fine?"

"Of course!" She smirks as she says this. "Where's the Law at anyways? I kinda stormed off, I hope he didn't run off or something."

"He's um...he's probably just upstairs."

"Ah well, I can't tell him sorry without a drink to offer. When you see him, pass that on for me, alright?"

You nod and she smiles more.

"Great, now I gotta get back to this reading. Boring shit, but it'll make the beers even better later."

You say good-bye to Mabel, and see that Jessica and Aria have returned.

What do you do?
It would probably be best to let Lawrence know that Mabel isn't mad at him...and allow yourself a chance to bully him for earlier. You haven't seen him come back, so maybe he's still back in the room. Back up you go, carefully down the halls, back to the door...

Once again you peer through the window...

And you are greeted with the remnants of what was once a classroom.

The desks and chairs thrown about, some of the wood broken and the metal twisted out of place. More holes decorate the walls, and the blackboard is beyond the point of usability. A crack in the lower corner has begun to climb its way up the window, looking like it could shatter on itself in any moment. The way Lawrence is sitting in the middle of all of it, hands clutching his face, you could describe him in the same way.

The anger his body held before seems to have been left behind in the destruction left behind instead. You once again enter the room and Lawrence looks up.

He seems shocked that you have came back, and then ashamed at you witnessing the mess he has created. Lawrence jumps up and pushes you out of the room, closing the door to the shame behind him.

"I'm uh...supposed to tell you that Mabel said she owes you a beer..." You say, currently unsure how to take in the scene. Did he do all of this after you left? You can see there's a large tear in his shirt by his stomach. It most likely ripped during his...'episode'.

"A-and now I'm here to b-bully you...for being a jerk..." Your voice is cheerful but Lawrence's reaction is not. When he does finally look down at you, remorse dominates his face.

"If...if you want I can fix this for you..." You say as you poke a finger at the hole. "And then we can..."

You could go outside if you wanted but anywhere you go will be stuck with walking. What would you like to do?
"You can work on something while I fix it, m-maybe you could work on the drawing?" As you await a response, you worry that maybe he is still too upset.

Lawrence sighs and runs a hand over his head, but you can see his nod.

"Okay, good! I'll get what I need and I'll meet you back in the classroom then?" Once again you are given a meager nod, but that is more then enough for you. As you rush to grab your sewing kit, you wonder if there's a way to help Lawrence with his little...anger issue. He doesn't show it often but when he does...it looks like he would be hard to stop.

Maybe you should help him find a way to release that...

Back in the classroom, you can see that he's already set up, drawing board in front of him and the open tin of pencils on the floor. His face doesn't read as too excited though...

"Will it be fine? For you to draw while I work on that?" You ask, pointing at the shirt.

Yeah, I will just focus on getting your facial features down now.

Augh...he's going to be starring at your face that means...

"Okay...d-don't make my nose to weird or anything...ah take off your shirt before you start though."

Without waiting Lawrence removes the button up and passes it on to you, a gray sleeveless undershirt remaining on his chest. You sit in front of him and begin your own work on the shirt.

"I um...I wanted to let you know that it's okay that you got angry..." You say this as you thread your needle. You don't expect any responses from Lawrence so you continue.

"I'm just glad that you took it out on stuff...instead of people. I think my dad...I think he had that problem once in a while with my mom..." You nearly prick your finger as you bring it up through the fabric.

"I uh...I hope I didn't make you feel weird about it now...I just don't want you to feel bad about it..."

...

Some time passes and you finish the shirt much before Lawrence is done. He sets down the board, stretching his arms and back.

"Is it done?" He shakes his head no. Darn...

You wait as he starts to write.

I'm sorry about what I said earlier, so don't take this the wrong way or anything. You said you wanted to talk with your mom again or whatever, when were you planning on doing this?
"Soon...it would be best to do it soon. But I think I should wait till the weather is a little better..."
If you're not scared of slush then you would have your opportunity in maybe two days, so long as there's no more snowing between now and then. But I don't know about the days afterwards, it might come and go then.

You nod but the thought of meeting up with your mother...

"I don't imagine that she would let me go though...if I want there..."

Are you asking for help?

"My mom isn't really...okay mentally, I think. If I went there alone, I won't come back out..."

If you need me to I'll tag along then. I won't let you get stuck there.

"Thank you...she might get violent though, and I'm not sure what all she might try to do..."

As long as you keep that knife of yours away from me, I think I will be fine.

You feel guilty, but Lawrence is obviously enjoying your discomfort over it.

"You jerk..." You throw the newly mended shirt back at him. You allow him some more time to finish up the drawing further, but a loud growl from your stomach interrupts the session.

"I guess I should get something to eat..."

John has managed to prepare a shepherd's pie, though it's mostly potato. You don't complain though and eat with Lawrence. As you guys are conversing Mabel pops in, bundled up and soaked, a big box in her arms.

"LAWRENCE!" She all but runs over to the two of you, panting and her face a bright red from the cold. You can recognize the sight of a big cardboard case of beer.

"Alright Law, listen up. It's been forever, but you, me, this case, Aria there to complain when I drink too much, no objections!" Mabel looks down at you and smirks. "Hell, you can even try one too if you wanna, but let me warn ya these are some cheap domestics."

You know that they are just beers and that it will be Mabel, Aria, and Lawrence drinking. Mabel will probably only let you have one. Do you want to join them?
"Ah sure! I mean..." You look up at Lawrence, as if asking permission. All he offers you is a 'why are you asking me' look.

That's right...technically you are in charge of yourself right now.

"...yeah...yeah I will join you guys."

"Ah sweet! Here...take this..." Mabel shoves the case into Lawrence's arms, "and I will go grab Aria. This is going to be great! Well...after she chews me out for spending money on a twenty-four pack..."

To keep from bothering everyone else your little group decides to take up in the room you and Lawrence had been used for drawing. Once again the radio is on, rock music playing in the background. The case is set out in the middle of four chairs, and you watch with Aria as Mabel pulls out two, handing one to Lawrence. There's a set of keys in her other hand.

"Alright Law, you remember how to do this, don't ya?"

Lawrence nods and she removes one of the keys and hands it over to him. You watch a bit confused as they hold the cans sideways, the point of the key pressed near the bottom.

"Alright....and...GO!"

They both puncture a hole with a key and it to their mouth, opening the tab at the top. Only a couple seconds pass as they drink this way, but Lawrence manages to pull his now empty can away before Mabel does.

"Ah...you still got it old man." Mabel coughs and wipes the remaining drops from her mouth.
"What was that?" You ask Aria.

"Them being dumb." She responds, rolling her eyes as Mabel proudly shows off the empty can.

"Well then, let's really get this started, huh?" Mabel passes out the cans again, handing one to you.

"Are you sure that's okay?" Aria asks as she opens her can.

"Aw come on, it's just one beer. Plus you know damn well you were this age when you tried one."

You accept the cold metal can, opening and giving it a sniff.

"Listen chick, I ain't going to lie. This stuff is cheap, but it does the job."

You take a sip and grimace. It's cold and that's the only good thing it has going for it. That and the fact its much easier then the vodka was. You notice that Aria is also sipping at her drink while the adults talk.

Is there anything you would like to talk about with them?
You decide to let Mabel and Lawrence talk a bit to make up from earlier.

"So when did you and Mabel start dating?" You direct your attention to Aria as she sips her drink.

"Ah well, we became best friends at our freshman seminar class and after my current roommate left she offered to fill in their spot. I think we started dating um...maybe a couple months after that. It will be two years some time in spring."

"Wow, that's a long time. I was uh...wondering though..."

"Ask away."

You take another sip of your beer before continuing.

"I just...I hope this isn't weird but I was...wondering...how did you know...that you liked um...girls..."

Aria laughs a bit at your shy demeanor.

"Well...I always figured I liked boys my whole life. One day though I was really upset cause the guy I had just started dating decided to dump me already. Mabel was there, and the more I thought about it the more I realized that I wanted my best friend to also be my, well in this case, girl friend. I still think boys are attractive but Mabel is the only one for me now."

"And what about her? Does she like boys too?"

"Oh hell no, she knew she liked girls since like...first grade."

"So she's your girl friend...and you best friend?"

"Yep! Course not everyone is going to be like that, but it can be nice when you have someone who can be both."

You look over and watch as Mabel once again tries to finish her beer before Lawrence, only to lose and add another empty can to their growing pile.
"I'll get you o-one day...I WILL beat t-the Law!"

"Do...you guys usually do this sorta thing? With Lawrence and all?"

"Well he's one of the few people here close to our age. I mean he's a bit older, but it's nice to just hang out with a...younger crowd sometimes, compared to the others. He's usually busy, but one day Mabel figured that he needed a way to relax and they would sometimes have their own 'Thirsty Thursdays' kind of deal."

You and Aria continue to make small talk, each of you sipping your drinks as the other two annihilate their own.
"Nah way Law...I totes could right now..." Mabel's voice is excitable and slurred and you watch as she pops out of her chair.

"Jus' watch me man...I got all the..uh wha'sit called...ch-...charm!"

You and Aria are both surprised as Mabel pulls her up for a kiss.

"C'mon babe, I gotta prove that I'm more a ladiesman here..."

"Ew no, you smell like beer."

"C'moooooonnnn..."

You try to look away, cover your eyes, anything when Mabel starts to kiss Aria again. It feels like your watching something you shouldn't be.

"Mph...a-alright! Alright come on already!"

Mabel smiles at Aria's surrender and pulls her out of the room, sticking her tongue out and giving Lawrence a face of triumph before the two of them go off.

Relieved that their...show...is gone, you finally finish your first can. You look over at their large pile Lawrence and Mabel have made and remembered what she had mentioned about him.You could probably ask Lawrence about anything right now and get an answer.

What do you do?
Lawrence seems pretty relieved to have Mabel out of the room. With each passing drink she became more loud and excitable, the music from the radio now fills the room. You think about getting Lawrence to bed, but an idea passes your mind.
You figure that you can maybe tease him a bit to make up for earlier...but another part of you is legitimately curious. You would never have the courage to just ask a boy this anyways...

"Hey, Lawrence?" You get up from your seat and walk over to where he's sitting. He offers you a nod in acknowledgement as he leans back in his chair, hands on his forehead. Mabel probably wore him out with all her challenges...

"Well...I was just wondering..." You try to act coy about it, swinging in place with your hands behind your back.

"Do you think...I'm attractive...?"

You feel your heartbreak a bit when he shakes his head in a big slow 'n-o'.

"O-oh..." You try to hide your disappointment. You're not sure what kind of answer you wanted, you didn't really expect a 'yes' or what you would do if you got one but...a no?

Lawrence sees the gloom on your face and sits up, shaking his head again before finding his notebook. His writing is pretty sloppy at this point.

Calm down I was just kidding, you are cute enough right now.

But if you just wait a while I'm sure you will be lovely, darling

Something about the word 'lovely' as apposed to just 'pretty' makes you feel a bit...excited. You've enjoyed that word, and the idea that it might describe you one day...

"Eh...what's this darling part?..."

Mabel told me to try and be more of a ladies man He offers a shrug with it.

"A-and you call me lame...you should go to sleep now."

Lawrence concedes his seat, rising up a bit shakily. You can't help but hold onto to the last note before returning his notebook, folding it up and placing it in your back pocket.

Despite the slight worry that he might fall over early, Lawrence manages to make it to his spot before going down, laying on top of his blankets and snoring almost instantly.

You return to your lonely spot...that right, you never got the chance to move all your things over. Jessica probably made sure to return your blanket back. Buttercup is waiting for you, curled up asleep already.

What would you like to do before going to sleep?
You decide that till you are ready for sleep, it might be nice to write a bit more. Placing Buttercup ever so gently in your lap, you balance your notebook on your knee, continuing where you left off.
The time passes as your words fill the page and your back begins to ache from being hunched over. You take the time to pet Buttercup, your hand starting to cramp up from holding your pen. You watch as Mabel and Aria stumble in, giggling before laying down to bed.

You can't help but feel your face glow red as you remember them earlier. You're not really sure how...that...would work between them, but you are certain that is what happened...

You try to write a bit more but your one beer from earlier causes you feel sleepy earlier then usual, or at least it is more difficult to keep your eyes open. You pack away your stuff, carefully sliding the note into the notebook next to the sketch you've kept and slide into your makeshift bed.

You can feel Buttercup settle in a spot by your head, curled up tight. You close your eyes, but there's a light buzzing in your head. You instead opt to listen to the sounds all around you. No one is talking but the silence they offer is relaxing in a way, you at least feel comfortable.

As the time passes you, there's a warm tingling in your center, spreading through your body slowly. It's nothing painful but you aren't sure what it is either. You open your eyes halfway, allowing them to adjust to the dark. You're not hungry or thirsty, you don't need to use the restroom or stretch or anything like that, so what are you feeling? It's warm, but not in a way you're used to. It's funny though, your fingers are still pretty cold. As you sometimes do when it's freezing you stick your chilly hands under your shirt and near your chest. The warmth your own body offers is nice, but there's that other sensation still there...

You think back to the 'lesson' Mabel gave you at the showers...

Would it be alright...even right here? As...as long as no one finds out right?...

Your hands travel beneath your bra...alright...this is...nice? It feels...kinda good you guess, but it just doesn't feel like it's enough. You keep trying though, and you 'warm up' to your own touch a bit. The tingling feeling in your stomach grows. Alright...maybe...maybe you can try something more...

You leave your left hand inside your bra and slowly, as if trying to sneak it in, your right hand begins to travel down your stomach. This is fine...she said it was fine to do...everyone does it...

Your fingers reach the edge of your pants and you stop. Okay...just ...don't think about yourself doing it...m-maybe think about something else or whatever...

Your hand travels inside your pants and you close your eyes. O-okay...think about...think about something...what are you supposed to think about? Your mind travels to the magazines...are you suppose to think about stuff like that? You try to, but it's not really...doing much...
Maybe...maybe you're supposed to think about a person you like then? T-that makes sense but it feels a bit...wrong to. Not that they would know you do this, right?

You take a deep breath, ready to start. Close you eyes, relax, and just think about a person you like, think about-...

At the first movement of your fingers, the violent memories of other hands being there previously causes you to jerk your hands away and a sob to leave your mouth. That filthy sensation from those times replace that tingling, and shame fills your chest.
You bury your face into your hands and silently cry till you fall asleep instead.

...

You wake up that morning, quietly getting your breakfast and sitting at your bed again.

Eggs...at least they're scrambled but is this what you're going to eat forever?...

You think about what you did last night at your skin...itches. You feel like you need to clean the sin off your body.

Would you like to ask someone to take you to get a shower? If not, what would you like to do instead?
You spot Mabel talking with Aria as they eat. Maybe she will go with you?

Waiting till they finish breakfast, you walk over and both girls greet you.

"Sorry bout leaving ya so early last night, we just had some...uh...business to attend to...yeah..." Mabel looks sheepish as Aria looks away at this.

"It's uh...fine. I was hoping that you could go with me? I just...really need to shower."

"Aw man you too? I also feel so gross after drinking, so hell yeah I'll go with you." Mable turns over to Aria. "Babe, which one did you and Jessica go to yesterday?"

"Oh the one by the Howard's, that other nice community center."

"Jesus, that's like...way to far away. I don't think I can handle a hangover and that kinda walk."

"Maybe you shouldn't have drank so much then."

"Man, whatever. You weren't complaining last night...eh...anyways...I guess we better head out then."

You and Mabel prepare for your long trek, heading out in snow covered in tracks. It takes about forty-five minutes to reach the community center, and both of you have long since froze. You have never been more thankful to sneak into a community shower...

Long rows of shower heads line the wall, each one divided by a wall the reached up only to your shoulders. As you begin to wet your hair you can hear Mabel next to you;

"Wow chick, I'm surprised. You might be even bigger then Aria."

You are confused at her words before you realize she's talking about your chest. You quickly cover it while trying to push her back.

"Eh I'm just messin' with ya kid." She sticks her tongue out as she hands you the shampoo. As you start on your hair you decide to discuss with her the events that happened to you.
"Hey Mabel..."

"What's up?"

"I hope this isn't too awkward or anything but...I think I need to talk to someone about this..."

"Oh man, yeah go ahead. I'm listening."

"You already know...a bit...anyways about w-what happened to me..."
You struggle a bit before continuing.

"It's...it's happened twice to me though...that I know of anyways..."

"Jesus. Ah...I'm sorry, k-keep going."
"There was one man, in my bedroom. I attacked him afterwards and that's why I ran away from home. But after that...while I was on the streets, I tried to get help at this store...but then the man I tried to get help from and the man I was running from...th-they both..." You calm yourself down before continuing.

"And then a b-bit after that...I tried to get help at this store...this time it was a lady...no two women...who tried to take advantage of me. I th-think they were going to l-let people use me...if Lawrence hadn't helped me there then I...I don't know where I would be..."

Mabel's face reflects your pain.

"Christ...are there any questions you have then? Fuck...that's just...is there anything you're like...confused about or whatever?"

"A...A lot I guess...d-does it allows hurt so badly...it always felt like I was going to die d-during..."

Mabel sighs and tries to think of the best way to answer this.

"No, it shouldn't. Well I mean...with a guy I guess it can, sometimes? But he should really be trying to make sure it doesn't, y'know? If you do decide to let it happen then he should be doing his best to make sure you're at least not in pain or anything...ah fuck...oh...OH FUCK!"

Mabel's sudden outburst startles you and she leans over the top of the stall.

"Have you like...used a pregnancy test or anything? This question sucks, I know it, but like...when was the last time you had your period? And like...how long ago was it from the last...'attack'..?"

You struggle to place it all in order.

"I uh...t-the last one happened...a day before m-my period, m-maybe the day of? And that ended a little bit a-ago..."

"Dammit...dammit how long does it survive...I can't remember. I'm not trying to scare you or nothing, but to be safe we really should try to get you a pregnancy test, sooner then later."

"Wh-why?"

"Alright, don't freak out and think carefully about what I'm asking..."
"O-okay..."
"What would you do if you ended up pregnant?"
Baby?....You could be carrying...

A baby?

The thought of this prevents you from answering and Mabel slaps herself in the forehead.

"Duh...of course you wouldn't consider that...you shouldn't HAVE to consider something like that...and here I am scaring you with the idea of...of something like that...but if you had your period recently...but man my cousin thought the same thing and nine months later...oh man...this is just...just so fucked up..."

Your mind is still reeling with the idea that your body could be carrying a baby.

"That...would mean...th-the daddy would be..." Your body begins to shake and it feels like you could fall over.

"Hey no, no don't think about that! Listen, lets focus on getting you a test first, alright? Man lemme try to remember sex ed...uh...okay, if I remember anything from that useless class...you can take a test seven days after 'that' happens and find out I think. I'll make sure to pick one up for you, and if it...if it does turn out that you are...don't worry, there are options from there, okay?"

Despite her words, they don't calm you any. You finish washing off but now...

You feel even filthier.

You don't talk to Mabel as the two of you get dressed, nor do you say a word on the freezing walk back. She tries to talk to you, but your somber silence lets her know this isn't viable. Back at the school she talks to you once more.

"Hey listen, just gimme a few hours or so and then I'll have that here for you, okay? And just...just try not to worry to much, alright kid?"

You can only muster a nod and go to your blanket. A sense of hopelessness washes over you as you flop down. Buttercup runs up, licking at your face but you can't even feel the effort to pet her. Your hand comes up to your stomach...

What if there is a baby inside?

You're not sure how much time passes, but you only have the energy to lay there in your own despair.

Lawrence comes up, kneeling down to offer you what looks like a donut. He must have been out around the same time as you. It feels like you couldn't even handle eating that.

What's wrong?
"Just..." You can feel your tears starting up again.

"...everything..." You whisper before turning your head to the cradle of your arms, violently sobbing. In that time you just let it all god, crying out all the fear you have inside. There's a warm hand on your back, but all you can do is wail.

What if you do have a baby...and it has one of your attacker's face?

Eventually, your sobs are nothing more then hiccups with tears, but the pain and fear still remain. You take Lawrence in private to properly explain your situation.

"M-Mabel...she s-said there's a chance of...oh a b-baby inside..." Each word only brings you further down then before, and you find yourself reduced to a blubbering mess. Lawrence embraces you and you nearly fall against him as you sob.

"W-what if there is a b-baby...i-if I'm preg-...pregnant...h-how can I take c-care of him..." You hands hold on tightly to his shirt, and you can feel his clench up against your back. You continue to cry for a long time, drenching his shoulder with your tears. Even when you finally push yourself away they still have not stopped.

"I-I'm s-sorry...I think...I think I need to l-lay down...maybe sleeping will make me feel better..."

Lawrence nods in agreement and leads you back to your bed. Before you lay down he brings his extra ones over for you, allowing you a more comfortable spot. Despite all of that...

You still feel awful.

For the rest of the day, you sleep. Emotionally drained...you've heard that word before but now you truly understand what it means. You keep waking up, but only manage to turn over and fall asleep again.

...

When you open your eyes again, it's dark. You have slept all day. As you finally sit up, you see a plastic bag has been set next to you, tucked away underneath the blanket. A small cardboard box is inside...it's that, isn't it? You're terrified of it...

Thirsty...you're really thirsty...and hungry...

You get up, hoping that it's fine if you find yourself some food. You manage to get yourself a slice of bread and some water. As you eat these you can movement in the hallway. As your eyes adjust, you can see the silhouette of Lawrence.

What do you do?
It might be smart to take a look at that test, you would need to go that way anyways. And maybe Lawrence still has that donut somewhere...
You go back and hold that horrible box in your hands and venture back to the hallway, borrowing the flashlight from the 'kitchen'. You shine your light down the hall and quietly call out for Lawrence.

The man is no where to be seen...maybe he went up for a smoke break? Well...for now you should probably deal with this horrible awful thing.

To the bathrooms you go, and you open up the box. Two thin things in plastic packaging and a set of instructions await you inside. You carefully read them over, hoping that you can accomplish this task on your own...

Taking out one of the tests from the plastic, you remove the cover from the tip.

Just pee on this...and it will tell you if you're carrying...carrying a...

You rush inside one of the stalls. Ah...maybe you should have waited a bit longer...you don't really need to...

...

You come out a few minutes later, holding the test in your hand.

You hope it was enough...the waiting for the next five minutes is excruciating. When you feel like enough time has passed, your heart is beating painfully...

...

What the hell...this is...inconclusive...right? That's what these symbols mean? You scan over the instructions again...

Okay...just take the other one later today and it will be fine...easy enough. You slip the other one into your pocket, keeping the instructions and throwing away the rest of the package. Your stomach growls...hopefully you can find something good to eat soon...

As you go back to the hallway, you can see Lawrence is facing the other direction. As you are about to call out to him the light flashes over his body.

Why...is he dressed up to leave? He looks surprised as you walk up to him.

"H-hey..." You don't want to seem obvious but it's the only thing you can think of. Lawrence is looking away from you the entire time.

"...where are you going?"

Looking like a man caught in the act, Lawrence contemplates his thoughts before you are given your answer.

I was thinking about doing a very stupid thing.

"What was it?..."

For some asinine reason, I thought that going over to that used car place would bring you something good.

That foreign man who...

"And what were y-you going to do...?"

Instead of words, Lawrence pulls out his clenched fist from his pocket, shiny metal spanning across his knuckles.

What do you do?
Inside of you there is a growing conflict, different voices in your head telling you different answers.
Of course there's a big part of you that want revenge, to make those men suffer for what they put you through.

Yet...

Even if that man is a monster, he has a daughter. He is a parent.

And you might be too.

That thought brings back the awful memories as they attempt to cloud your judgement.

Even...even if that man didn't have a family...having him face the wrath of Lawrence would still mean trouble. Lawrence would be on the run, or worse, caught by the police. You would lose one of the few allies you had.

"Lawrence..." You grab his fist, pushing it away and shaking your head.

"You...you can't do this...I don't want to see you angry like this, I don't want you to have to be on the run, or b-back in jail..."

You aren't crying, but you have to wipe away the occasional tear from your face.

"H-how are you going to go with me to t-talk to my mom in a jail cell? How are you going to finish the drawing? How will y-you keep being my friend in jail?"

Lawrence doesn't offer you any response and you fear that he is still set on going. He could easily move you away but you quickly wrap your arms around him.

"I don't want you to do this, please don't just run off...I feel like i-if you do then I'll never s-see you again and...and I l-...like you too much to let you do something like that..."

You finally feel Lawrence move, and you're relieved that he is kneeling down to return your embrace. The cold metal in his hands nearly takes away the warmth he offers.

"Please don't do it..." You whisper, holding him like you are the only thing keeping him from going.

"I...want-ed...to..." His raspy voice fills your ear. "But...I...know bet-ter...then to...just ru-sh in..."

You can feel him take a bit to catch his breath.

"I was...just in...the mom-ent...so rea-dy...to go...hurt peop-le...I've b-...been stand-ing...here...for two...hours...just think-ing...about...it...but I've...been so...angry...lately..."

You can feel his hands clench up some as he says this.

"I thou-ght...I could...help you...and get...that...anger out...but I...know that...doing...that wou-ld...help with...neither of...those things...and you...would ju-st...be more...hurt..."

"Stop talking dummy..." You can tell the use of his voice lately has been taking it's toll. He smiles a bit at your words.

"What...can I...do...to make...you...feel bet-ter...?"

"You can promise me something..."

"What...do you...want?"
"I think I just...need you to stay with me..."

As you say these words you squeeze him tighter.

"P-promise you'll stay with me no matter what...don't go do anything that will get you hurt or k-killed for my sake...I would hate myself forever and ever..."

You continue to think about the things you want.

"I don't think I can handle any...any of this alone...I don't want to do any of it alone...and I don't think there's anyone...anyone else out there would p-put up or stay with someone like me..."

Lawrence pulls back enough to look you in the face.

"You don't...have to...do this...alone." He offers you a small smile.

"I promise." Lawrence ends up coughing after he forces himself to say those last two words out as loud as he could.

"I told you to stop talking..."

You are only given a guilty smile in return for this. The promise of not having to go through this all alone is a small comfort in the sea of your problems. It's almost like you just made a promise for ...

"Hey...do you still have that donut from earlier...I'm starved..."

...

After eating a now stale pastry, you lay back down to sleep. Despite all the sleeping you did earlier, you manage to rest till morning.

Jessica comes over to you, a bowl of oatmeal in her hands for you. As she hands it over she takes a seat next to you.

"Hey, how are you doing?" She asks in a gentle voice.

"Um...that's got a kinda weird answer now..." You say as you spoon some of the lumpy oats into your mouth.

"Alright, I understand. Listen, I just wanted to know if you wanted to come along. I was going to go with Aria, Mabel, and Marilyn to this thrift store in a little bit. During Christmas time they usually have these days where clothes are pretty cheap. Do you want to come along, even if it's just looking?"
Going out might do you some good...give you a chance to think about something aside from...that.

"Yeah, sure. I'll come." Jessica's eyes light up as soon as you say this.

"Great! Finish eating and get ready then, we wanna get there soon!"

...

Your group of five are pushed through the snow, mainly driven by Aria's need to arrive quickly to the store. You can see how busy it is before you even go inside, but Aria is adamant about getting those deals. Despite the swarms of people, Mabel and Aria do their best to keep the rest of the group close enough together.

"Oh my GOD this is cute!"

"Eh...this will be good enough for me."

"I like this but...I don't think it will fit me around my..."

"Pappy said I can choose whatever I like with the money he gave me, but I don't know if this will make me look like a grownup..."

"..."

You guys actually have fun pulling down different clothes either for yourself or for another person to try, but you aren't really sure about what you want...

Aria must have noticed this, as she stops her plundering to talk to you.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I just...don't know what I want I guess..."

"That's fine! I happen to be an expert on this, trust me! Now just give me a moment..."

Aria begins piling different articles of clothing into your arms and pushing you to the dressing room. She insists that you try them all on and come out to model them. The first time you come out you are shocked by the four girls standing outside, waiting to judge you on each piece.

"Eh...that makes her look like a granny..."

...

"This one might be too...um...adult for you...h-here lemme just take that though..."

...

"Hey! That one really goes with your figure, totally stick with that one!"

...

"Ehehe...if you wear that one then all the boys might look and then you'll make your boyfriend jealous~"

After feeling like you're being judged like a piece of meat, you manage to lower your selection down to two shirts and a pair of pants.

Ah...you're still wearing Lawrence's coat...you should probably find something else to wear...

You push your way through the people, trying to find something else you could wear.

...

This...could work...right? It would fit you...

"You know that's a boy jacket, right?" Aria is right behind you as you're holding it up.

"Aw c'mon babe, don't bully her choices." Mabel.

"Hey, I think it could look like...really cute on her!" Jessica.

"Careful, you wear that and people might think you were a boy instead." Marilyn...
You decide that you want out of the busy building and make your choice to take the jacket.

"Hey, I think you'll look pretty cool. I mean, a letterman? Reminds me of my high school." Mabel congratulates you on your choice as your clothes are rung up. You hand over $16 and take the bag with your clothes. You'll change into the jacket at the school so you don't have to try and carry the coat.

Soon the five of you are back on the way. As you stand on a corner, waiting for the walk signal to turn green you look up at a billboard you couldn't see on the way there.

And your blood freezes.

Looking down at you in giant print, advertising for his plastic surgery services...

Is the man from your bedroom.

"Oh hey chick, what's wrong? You look sick."
"It's...nothing. It's fine, I'm just...freezing." You don't take your eyes off the billboard though.

James Bowers

Now...you have his name. And more importantly...an address. You memories it, making a note in your head to write it down along with the addresses of the others.

All too soon the sign goes from red to green, but you're glad that you don't have to see that man's face looming down at you.

The travel back makes you realize how much snow has turned to slush, and you even see the occasional bus and taxi pass by. The other girls are talking and while you occasionally chime in, you keep to yourself. You can't forget that name or address...

Once back at the school you immediately go to write down everything. You now have a list of your attackers and their locations.

James Bowers, the man from your bedroom.

The camping store owner.

The used car shop owner.

The grocery store girls.

You realize that you aren't sure of the condition of at least three of these people. You know that you and Lawrence really hurt those girls, and you did your damage to this...Bowers...but does that mean they're dead? That advertisement look old, they might not have taken it down even if he was dead. Looking at this list makes you feel...angry. And of course, your mother deserves to be on here too but you know that you can always remember her.

What would you like to do now?
You feel like you should return Lawrence's coat, but for now...while you are still thinking about it...
"Hey, Jessica?" You come up to her as she is putting away her own clothes.

"Oh hey, what's up?" She smiles at you as you kneel down beside her.

"You said that you and the kids usually gather the papers, right?"

"Yeah. I mean we haven't since the snow, but I've made sure none of them have your missing ad."

"Thanks, but I need to look through them, actually. Is there a stack of them anywhere that I can see?"

"Oh yeah! I usually just keep them by the kitchen, John's the only one who ever uses them. As long as you put them back when you're done that it should be fine."

You thank her and go to find the papers. They are stacked on the ground, many of them faded or dirty. Sitting there you start going with the top one, flipping through and scanning the headlines.

When you get to the obituaries, you take care to read the names carefully. Your pile soon grows as you continue to look through each one. Nothing....you see a few Bower's ads but other then that you don't see a mention of either places.

Is this a good or a bad thing?

Exhausting through the resources you had, you decide to find Lawrence and return his coat. He's sitting down eating and you offer it back. He tries to insist you keep it.

"No, it's fine. I found me one today, this fits you way better anyways." Lawrence finally accepts the coat back and you decide to sit with him for a bit as he finishes lunch.

What do you talk about?
You begin to realize that aside from the stuff with Michele's boyfriend, you don't know much about Lawrence's life before now. You want to try and keep the conversation from being too sad though...

"Um...what were you like...in school? Were you a good student? I couldn't imagine so..." You say that last part in a teasing matter, but realize that based on his past record...that may very well be the case.

I never really stood out too much, except for my height when I was in high school. They use to think it was funny to call me 'Shorty'. I got alright grades, but nothing amazing.

"Is that where you learnt to draw?"

No, that's while I was locked away. The only thing I did really well at in school was fighting, and even then it turns out I wasn't the best. He points at his neck to emphasize the last part.

"But you graduated, right?"

I didn't get to actually.

"O-oh...what about work? What do you usually do then?"

What ever is hiring, but usually stuff with labor. I did the construction stuff with William, I've done a lot of stuff in warehouses and stocking, just whatever is hiring at that moment. William's was the only full time job I've had though.

"I see." Which means he's been scraping by...

You give him a moment to finish his lunch, thinking about what you want to say.

"I think...after I visit my mom...I need to visit the other people. I was able to get a name and address for another one..."

Lawrence nods to show he's listening and you continue.

"I don't really know for sure what I'll do if I end up seeing those...those other people...but I can't just let them slide by either..."

I understand. When do you feel you will be ready to see your mother?
"I think tomorrow will be fine...it'll give me time to prepare for her."

There's a crinkling noise in your pocket.

"And...and it will give me t-time to...use the t-test..."

You feel Lawrence's hand on your shoulder but you force a smile anyways.

"It...it'll be fine though...I'm sure it will...I just need to be sure..."

...

You're standing in the restroom again, the used test resting on the counter. Lawrence is waiting outside for you.

God...why is this five minute wait so awful?

There's no way you can be carrying a baby...

You...you did have your period recently...the way Mabel was talking about it means you should be safe...right?

Yeah...this will just confirm that you're fine. You won't have to worry about it any more, you can push this awful terrible thought out of your mind forever-

...

Your cry is more akin to a scream. You feel sick...you end up throwing up. Carefully you read the test again...

You take another look at the results.

Why...

Why the fuck is this happening to you?

What did you ever do to deserve this?

The blue positive signs burn themselves into you.

Holding the test you stumble out of the bathroom. Lawrence is obviously concerned about what happened.

What do you do?
Your only answer is to hand over the positive pregnancy test. You can tell Lawrence is freaking out too but...you feel so tired again. Angry. Upset. It's...

"It's not fair..." You whisper to yourself.

"I think I need to go talk to Mabel..." You start to leave Lawrence in the hall. He's not taking this news well, the exact opposite of your shocked quietness. "There's another classroom upstairs unlocked if you need to..."

He doesn't follow you, and you know he's probably going to go rage hell somewhere upstairs.

You find Mabel, sitting with Aria.

"What's wrong? You don't look so..." Mabel starts to ask, but she has already started piecing the clues together.

"D-did you take it? What did it say?" She jumps up, to the confusion of Aria.

"What's happening guys? What's wrong?"

"It...it w-was positive..."

"Fucking Christ..."

"Mabel what is she talking about? What...wait...positive? Is she talking about? N-no way..."

Mabel sits you down with the two of them.

"Okay...okay we need to talk options." Mabel is in a panic while Aria looks ill. You can barely stand to look up.

"An..an abortion would be easy enough right now, right? That or one of those pills, they make those that you can take to get rid of it, right?"

"Mabel they aren't going to let her into a clinic without a parent or something."

"Then what about a pill?"

"You know how long it would take for her to get one of those? My sister thought she might have needed one, and the waiting list is ridiculous! By the time we got one the baby would already be-"

"Jesus don't call it a baby!"

"I'm sorry but that's what we're dealing with here."

"No fuck...it's a fetus. Call it a fetus."

"What's the difference..." You finally speak up.

"Look...look when you're ready and want to have one, then it's a baby, okay? But right now...this thing is just a fetus. It's alright to get rid of a fetus. Wait yeah...ah fuck I can't think properly..."

"We can't just take her to a clinic and the wait for a pill is too long...unless..." Aria thinks about this. "Unless...we ask Sam..."

"Hey you're right...Sam might be able to get something a lot quicker...good thinking...alright kid listen." Mabel grabs your shoulders.

"Don't you worry about this none, alright? We'll help you take care of this. As far as I can tell you...you should be under a month. That ain't nothing. We'll tell Sam what you need, we'll explain it to him. It might take a little bit...but we will get you what you need, alright?"

You can only muster a nod.

"I...I just want to sleep..."

"Oh yeah, go sleep sweetie. We'll handle this with Sam. Just...let us know if you need anything else, alright?"

You feel rude, but you just stand up and walk away. Back to bed you go. Back to sleep all day again...

What the fuck...

You curl up tightly. The words 'baby' and 'fetus' drift through your head as you close your eyes...

Try to think of something happy to make your pain fade away.
You need to think back to a happier time...a time when you didn't have...

Have something growing inside of you.

Suddenly you decide to reach into your bag...

Ms Buttons...

How long has been since you've confided in her? Much too long...compared to how you use to...

The day you got her...when was that? Right...right, your grandmother made her for you. She's handmade, one of a kind. You were...you were maybe three? It's been a long time since you got her. She had made your father his own animal as a child, and this was yours. All yours to love you forever. Apparently your grandmother even put in a little thing that was supposed to contain her heart so that no matter what...you could take it out and put it in another toy and always have her love you.

You look at her bead eyes, her cream fabric...

The dried blood stains.

She's seen the awful things that have happened to you...

The awful things you have done.

She knows them all...does she judge you? Does she still love you?

Don't be so fucking stupid.

Of course she doesn't.

She's a stuffed animal.

It's a toy. A toy can't love you.

Who the hell would love you?

You feel like throwing the damn thing across the room. You wanna be an adult, you want control over yourself...why the hell are you holding on to something so stupid?

...

You carefully hug her and place her back in your bag. You lay back down...maybe its best to not think of anything...

...

Once again you have a terrible sleep, but sleep nonetheless.

You sit up in your bed, it's early morning.

What do you do?
You just sit there, not thinking about anything. You really don't want to be thinking of anything right now.
...

Breakfast is alright to think about. You wait till John is up and in the kitchen. You get yourself a bowl of oatmeal...but this time there's some pieces of fruit and honey drizzled on top.

"Hey ya go missy, try to enjoy."

You thank him and take it to sit alone. As you eat, you can tell this is much better then yesterday's. Buttercup waddles up to you, putting her little paws against your leg. You pet her, earning her joy and affection. As she looks up at you with her big dumb eyes and half opened mouth, her tongue lolling out...

The smile that creeps on your face feels like it shouldn't belong, but it is there nonetheless. No matter what you choose to do...this dog will love you...right?

The sound of a baby crying makes you flinch. Right...right Claire has a baby...

...

You focus on finishing your breakfast instead.

It seems like most everyone is up and about, except for Lawrence. He's still asleep. You take the bowl back to John and thank him for a nice breakfast.

"Not a problem missy, you've been looking down and I can't allow that."

John offers you a big doofy grin, like when he was trying to impress the girls on your shopping trip. He's missing a tooth...

"Thank you." You return a smaller smile back.

You sit about, petting Buttercup, when Aria comes up to you. She kneels down and whispers.

"Hey sweetie, we've been talking to Sam and explained the situation. He's going to have to go to his 'friends' to get you something, but he thinks it might be like...a week or two. But he'll help you through it, and we can be there if you want too."

"Thanks Aria..."

You can't really be cheerful about the situation. Aria gives you a quick hug that you don't return before saying good-bye.

You remember what you planned yesterday...

Today...you can go to see your mother. Whenever you're ready, Lawrence said.

What do you do?
It might be good to talk to Lawrence, at least for you to settle your thoughts properly.
You go over to where he is. It looks like he has just...collapsed where he was. His face looks exhausted, even as he sleeps. As you start to shake his shoulders you take a look at his hands.

Bruised and busted up.

He took out rage for you last night, but you doubt it helped alleviate any of the anger.

"Lawrence...would you mind getting up?..."

He opens his eyes slowly, but upon seeing its you he nearly jumps up.

"Don't worry, it's fine. It's just that...you're the only one still asleep."

You see him relax as you say this...but barely. That tension you've seen before in him is still there, in the way he holds himself, the way his hands are. You can see all of this, and it's worrisome.

"I just...wanted to talk. About what I will do when I get to my mom."

You sit down and Lawrence shows that he's listening.

"I think...I just need to talk to her. Like...that's all I should do...instead of...of hurting her...I need to find out why she did all this...why she let this happen to me."

You think about it more.

"If I go in...with terrible violent thoughts then I might never get my answers and then I'll just be stuck living my whole life without my answers...and maybe in jail too."

Once again, collecting your thoughts.

"When I see her...I want to ask her what she did to me, if she's the reason I kept sleeping. If that...that man was the first one or the last one in my room...and why she let them do it. And..and if she knows about my 'condition' too. Those three things...those are what I need to know the most."

Sounds good to me, do you know when you want to go? Like I said, I am just waiting for you.
"Could...would it be fine if we left now? Or I mean...soon?"

Can you wait long enough for me to get something to eat first?

"Of course not." You push him a bit but there's a hint of a smile on your face. As he gets up to get his food you can't help but feel the worry in the pit of your stomach.

...

The two of you stand just outside of the school. Lawrence is back in his old coat and you are wearing your new jacket...it's still a bit big for you. But at least you don't have to worry about letting Lawrence freeze any more.

Hair tucked away in the cap, face covered in your scarf...and a long cardboard box in your arms. Inside you can feel the bat wiggling about...

Knife, money, and the gloves William gave you on your hands.

"Okay...I think I'm ready. Let's go."

You explain to Lawrence the way to your neighborhood, and the trek begins. It will take about a good bit of time to get there, it should be early afternoon when you arrive.

After an hour of walking, you pass a bus station. It looks like there a few running, but they are pretty busy. The next bus should arrive in just a few minutes though, and you decide that it may be worth waiting in case there is room. It would save you at least an hour of walking. As you sit on the bench, you take a look over the newspaper the man next to you is reading.

US to destroy Nuclear Weapon Stock

Kinda boring...

You focus on waiting for the bus instead. When it arrives, you can see it is already packed. You figure you're going to end up walking, but Lawrence proves otherwise. He manages to push you both in and claim seats before they all fill up. The rest of the rows quickly fill up and the bus rolls off.

In about twenty minutes you will be setting off from the bus, and then it should be a short fifteen minute walk to the apartment.

What would you like to do while you wait?
"Um here...will you hold this? It's kinda hard for me to..." You hand over the unwieldy box. You are not sure what to expect but if for some reason you would need to use it...

"And...thank you so much. I would never be able to do this alone."

He gives you a smile and you just focus on keeping calm instead.

Breathe...don't think about the pregnancy test in your pocket...just...think about what you're going to say to your mother.

You rehearse your lines carefully in your head, over and over again.

There's still that growing pit inside of you...but you just reassure yourself. You won't be hurt and you won't be kept there. Lawrence is here as your backup. No matter what ends up happening you will not be trapped.

That helps fill you with just enough courage. Even when the bus comes to the stop, you feel like you can do this. You follow Lawrence off the bus, but from there you are leading him down the streets. Your heart begins to race, you will just climb up those stairs...knock on her door...and you will get your answers.

Alright...just around this corner and then up those steps.

Here you go-

...

What...

What the hell?

You can only stare up at where your room had been, an angry confusion filling your face. Lawrence looks around, as if looking to make sure this is the right place.

You point up at where you had been kept for two months.

"I don't think...my mother is there..."

Even from here, you can see the damage that the fire had caused. The place that you once slept is charred, and while the building still stands it is obvious no one could be living on the floor any more.

What do you do?
"D-...damn..."
You stomp your feet and claw at your head.

"DAMMIT!" You didn't plan to, but your cursing comes out as a scream. Feeling stuck, you look around.

What the hell do you do now?

Frustrated you look around but you just feel...

Lost.

Lawrence taps on your shoulder and points at the lobby door. You can see an older woman is inside behind the counter. You only left the apartment once before that night but you recognize her as the landlady. You doubt that she would recognize you now but if she does then you could easily outrun her...

You and Lawrence enter the lobby and she quickly tries to point you out.

"I'm sorry ma'am-"

"Can't let folks in here with the damage upstairs."

"I wanted to know about that actually. I...my friend, use to live here and I just wanted to know what happened."

You can see her wrinkled eyes squint at you, making you pull your cap down further.

"Mmm...well I usually don't take to busy bodies...but if you said your friend was here." She sits herself down in the chair at the desk.

"What an awful night...I'd been noise complaints from one of my rooms for a while now...ah room 312? Shoulda went up there sooner, cause one night there's all this smoke just pouring out from underneath the door! Called the fire department, thank heavens everyone got out alright. Ah, well cept for the lady in that apartment. I think she had to be taken to the hospital, I think. She was babbling on and on, fact I think she's still there the...ah where is it...the one by the supermarket that went up recently. I like that place, bit expens-"

Before she can continue you thank her and run out, Lawrence following closely behind. You walk down the street, anger filling each step.

You were so ready...so ready to do this! Why?...

You kneel down and catch your breath.

Why...

Lawrence catches up behind you.

What are you thinking about doing now?
"W-what do you think? I'm going to find her at that hospital! She cant't...she can't just run away! I'm going to get my answers! I'm gonna..."
You can't stop the irritation in your voice, but...but dammit you are going to do this! You stand up and figure out where you are.

The supermarket...it's...right, you remember it being built when you came in. You storm off in the direction, Lawrence following your stead in silence. Part of you is angry because you're now on a hunt for your mother...

But a big part of it is that all your stuff got destroyed. Anything you didn't have on you was in that place. All your pictures...

An hour and a half of brisk walking brings you to the hospital. It...

Why is this so cheap? If your mother was...was getting money off of you she surely would have been going to a nicer one...

Doesn't matter.

You go into the lobby, about to head over to the front desk. Lawrence stops you before you can.

Here, let me try this.

"Why can't I?"

I've been in the hospital enough. It will be easier if we pose as family.

"A-alright..."

I know this is weird but, I realize I don't know something.

"What is it?"

"What's your last name?

Your grandfather was an immigrant to the US, and because of this you have a bit of a strange last name. Where did he come from, and what is your surname?
You've always been a bit embarrassed by your last name. Kids would sometimes tease you about it, as it sounded foreign to them.
"It's...don't laugh at it either, alright? My grandpa was from Italy, so my last name is Esposito."

Lawrence writes it down and shows you.

"Yeah, yeah that's how you spell it."

Lawrence nods and has you follow behind him to the front desk.

"May I help you?" The lady at the desk greets him, and you let him do the talking...writing...whatever.

"Uh huh...alright. I don't think she's very...nice right now, but she's down the left hall. Room 405. Visiting times are for another two hours."

Lawrence thanks her and leads you down the way. Outside the door you two stop. You try to catch your breath and Lawrence puts a hand on your shoulder for support.

"Y-yeah I got this..." You open the door and step in. There's two long line of beds, some with the curtains drawn shut. As you walk down your heart is beating like crazy. Each woman you pass only adds more to your anxiety. Finally, you reach the last bed on the right. You can see your mother laying there, looking out the window. IV's and other equipment is hooked up to her body. You stop in place and feel Lawrence's hand on your shoulder again.

You take a deep breath, and walk up to her.

...

She looks at you but...there's no reaction.

For the longest time you stand there, looking at her, waiting for her to say anything to you.

When she speaks, there's a weakness to her voice as if she is ill.

"Hello. You're not a nurse, who are you?"
What...the hell...

"You don't...recognize me?...Do you really not care that much about me that you could just...just forget me?"

"Refresh my memory...its's been a hellish...how long have I been here?..."

You struggle to keep your cool, your hands clenching tightly.

"Delilah. My name is Delilah, I'm your-"

"Delilah! Oh baby...where have you been?"

Shock can not begin to describe your emotions.

"You're so big already...where has the time gone..."

Your mother is looking at you with such a kindness you've never seen from her before. You study her face...is this really the same woman? Lawrence urges you to take the chair next to her bed, and he draws the curtains half shut. As you sit down you remove your cap and pull down your scarf.

"You...you do recognize me...right?"

"Of course, you're my daughter. But you've grown so much from the last time I've seen you and your hair is so short...it's cute."

"You told me short hair was for boys."

"Did I? Well, that doesn't matter, it looks cute on you."

You glance up at Lawrence, your face reflecting on the abnormality of the situation. He encourages you to continue.

"How old am I?"

"You think I wouldn't know that? You're...um..." You watch as she struggles to think, tears welling up on her face.

"I'm..I'm sorry sweetie...I can't seem to remember...t-tell me?..."

"I'm...I'm going to be fourteen next month..."

"Already? It's amazing. You look so much like your father already...I miss him...so so much..."

You watch as your mother's face begins to break a little more.

What do you do?
"What happened at the apartment...there was a fire?"
"There was? Wait...wait that's right...that's why I'm here...I was in the living room..." She bites at her lip, the same way you do.

"Ah...m-my head is starting to hurt sweetie...give me a minute..."

"Do...do you know what year it is?"
"Of course! It's...it's...1984. No...no you just said you were fifteen..."

"No, I said I'm almost fourteen."
"R-right...you're birthday is in January though...the twenty-first. Five days before mine, I remember that."

"Do you know where we are? What city?"

"The one you were born in-...wait no...that's right, we did move...we couldn't afford the house any longer after your father died..."

"Right, we moved in and I became sick...do you remember that?"

"Sick...you were sick? I don't...no...no you mean...you couldn't stay awake, right? You slept all day..."

"Yes! Yes that, do you remember that?"
You can see her stare off as she thinking about this.

"You slept all day...because I was...I was putting those awful pills in your food..."

"W-what?"

"Yes...I was told...told to give you those and that you would just...sleep. Sleep and then...then..."

"Then? THEN WHAT?!" You nearly jump out of your seat.

""I had to...had to do it..."

"Do what? What did you have to do? Dammit...tell me!"

"P-please don't yell at me sweetie..."

"NO, you are GOING TO TELL ME!" Your hands grab her shoulders, near her neck. Her blue eyes widen as she stares at you, afraid and tears flowing freely.

"S-sweetie...please don't shout...I...I..."

"JUST TELL ME!"

"I had to...had to make you sleep...he...he was supposed to..."

Her face shatters as these last words leave her lips.
"He was supposed to fix you..."

Suddenly her hands grab your wrists.

"Fix you...y-you were...were supposed to be...he was supposed to fix you...you were supposed to...to get..." As she speaks her body starts convulsing. Lawrence yanks you away, and soon a nurse comes up to take care of her. Before she can ask you any questions, Lawrence pulls you away and out of the hospital. You guys don't stop till you're a good distance from the building.

Does any of that make any sense to you?

You shake your head. It's starting to get dark.

What do you do?
"I...I need to go find that man...that first one who...who did that to me...he should know something..." An absolute rage begins to fill your soul.

"His address...I'll go there and wait for him to come there in the morning. I'll wait all night if I need to. I can't...I can't let this go!" You clutch at the cardboard box.

"His place is only...should only be...two hours from here? Y-yeah...I can walk that...l-lets go..." As you try to storm off Lawrence pulls you back, shaking his head.

"What? Why not?!" You pull yourself away from his grip.

He tries to speak but realizes resorts to his notebook.

We should head back, it wouldn't be smart to be out right now. We can figure out what to do then.

"No! I want to go see this guy! I want to see this...this bastard...I need to!" You start to walk away again. "Even if you won't come with me...!"

Once again you're pulled back by Lawrence.

"No! Dammit, I'm going to do this....!" You shove against Lawrence roughly and begin running. You didn't know what else to expect, but he gives chase to you.

That address...alright turn down this way...then...then this way? No...no now you need to compensate and go this...wait...wait why is this here? Just...just focus on getting there...

You trip over a curb and fall to the ground in a shattering stop. Dazed you can barely push yourself up, and it gives Lawrence more then enough time to catch up.

"Y-you're not taking m-me back..."
Stop crying, idiot. You got this far, keep going...

You push yourself up but there's a slight pain in your ankle. No...keep going...you can't breathe...

Forced to stop, you lean against the brick wall of a building, frustrated and winded.

"I...I just..." Stop crying.

"I can't let this get away from me now...I...I just can't..."

Lawrence gives you just enough distance, and there's that slight throbbing in your right ankle. You're not even sure where you are any more...

What do you do now?
"I...I give up..."
It hurts to say that.

"What...what am I doing...he'll be there tomorrow...won't he? Of course he will be...I'm just...stupid...so stupid..."

You take some steps towards Lawrence but your ankle hurts too much.

"D-...dammit..." You sit down on the curb and take a look. It doesn't look or feel broken...just bruised awfully.

"Stupid...so...stupid..." You get back up, walking on your bruised ankle carefully. You don't want to look at his face right now.

"Do you think there's a bus we can catch near by...I don't think we'll get back quickly now..."

Lawrence thinks and points back down the way you had ran from. You start to walk but he swoops you up instead.

"L-let me walk...I did this to myself..." He shakes his head and carries you down the street.

"I don't know why I thought this was a good idea...what was I really expecting...that he would tell me everything?..."

Your talking fills in the silence as you're carried down the street.

"I just got so caught up in being so close at figuring more stuff out...but now I think...I think I'm even more confused...I'm sorry for running like that again..."

As the streetlamps pass over you take a look at his beat-up hands. That's right...he knows how it feels to let your anger take over...

You let him carry you the rest of the way in silence, a dark and lonely bus stop coming into view. The schedule tells that you will need to wait twenty minutes for a pick up. Lawrence sits down on the bench, still carrying you. He looks even more exhausted then before. If he was dealing with his anger last night, he probably didn't get much sleep. That's your fault...

What do you do as you wait for the bus?
"You can um...you can nap if you want to right now. I'll wake you up when the bus comes..."
Lawrence shakes himself himself awake, then shakes his head no.

"You're tired though."

He just offers you a smug smirk.

The two of you just wait in silence for the bus. Each time you breath out there's a cloud of cold air marking the chilly air. Being held like this makes it easier for you to stay warm, and you're glad he hasn't set you down yet.

...

As you sit there in silence, the words from that night come back to mind...

Payment

Enjoy again

The man's voice rings so distantly in your mind, but you can remember those exact words.

Payment...

But...you were supposed to be...'fixed'?

When you get something fix...they don't pay you to do the fixing...you pay them...

Does that mean...the money was going to...that man? Not your mother?

But you heard him say...'enjoy again'...isn't that stranger if your mother was paying him? Why...why would she pay someone to do something like that? She might not have liked you a lot but...but not even she would go that far to make you miserable.

If she was the one paying the man...what was she paying for...what was supposed to be fixed...and...and why did it involve him doing...that?

Your thought it interrupted by the sounds of the bus brakes. You are carried into the bus and placed into a seat. Lawrence pretty much collapses into the one next to you. Once again you feel the now familiar motion of the bus starting down the road. As you look out the window, you can see there's no one else out there...there's hardly anyone on the bus either. You look back and see Lawrence trying to keep his eyes open. He cant help but let them close, and you let him sleep.

You keep a careful watch as the bus comes to it's various stops, the occasional people coming and going. You want to sleep, but you know Lawrence deserves it more right now.

You continue to look out the window as a group of four men pass by your seats, moving towards the back. It should be three more stops, then a ten minute walk, and then you'll be back.

You can hear the group talking from behind, among the noises of the bus.

"Hey...did you see that fucker up there?"

"What...the one with the girl? Looks like a bozo."

"Yeah yeah...but don't he look familiar?"

"What are...hey man...I think you're right...shit..."

"Figured that fucker would have drank himself to death or something already."

"Nah man, I'm glad he's here. I never got my rematch."

"What, you think you can beat the Law?"

Wait...wait did they just say-

"Man, I could kick Lawrence's ass any day and you know it."

You look over and see that Lawrence is fast asleep.

What do you do?
Okay...okay you have to stay calm. If they know you overheard them...this could mean trouble. Maybe...maybe they'll have to get off before you do. You hold your breath as the next stop rolls up. The passenger in front of you leaves and the bus starts it's travel again.

As the men in the back continue to talk, you carefully shake Lawrence awake. He's groggy, but you lean in close to whisper.

"I think those men in the back know you...don't look at them..."

Lawrence nods that he's listening and awaits for you to continue.

"Two more stops before ours, but I'm a little worried. They...they mentioned...k-kicking your ass..."

"Des-...cribe...them..."

"Well...they're dressed like punks. One of them has a tattoo on his cheek-"

As soon as you say this Lawrence clenches up.

"Need...to...get off...next...stop."

"Why?"

"Can't...let them...foll-ow...to...sch-ool..."

"Why not?" Your fear escalates.

Lawrence shakes his head, but you can see the fear in his face. You clutch your boxed up bat, and the bus begins to slow for the next stop. It feels like your heart might explode, but Lawrence calmly pulls you back up into his arms and out of the bus. You can't help but notice that the men are following you at a distance. From here it's at least a thirty minute walk, but that's if you were on a non-bruised ankle. Lawrence continues to carry you down the empty streets, passing businesses long past closing hours. Alley after alley passes you, but as you pass by a particularly thin one Lawrence quickly pushes you inside.

"R-un."

He dashes off the opposite direction from you, but you can see that he's easily caught up and dragged into an alley.

What do you do?
You can hear voices traveling from their alley. If it was just one or even two men you might not have to worry as much...

But four?

You run across the street, waiting just on the edge of the alley opening. As far as you can tell, they are just talking. You wait, bat in your arms, as you listen in.

"C'mon Law, we're all friends here, right? No need to look so scared. The five of us just want a chat...oh no, that's right. There's only four of us. You remember Charlie though, don't ya? Our fifth guy, my little brother, used to be nice to you? Ya know, till you sent him to the hospital."

S M A C K

You flinch at the noise.

"Still can take a beatin', can't ya? Turns out Charlie wasn't as built as you. But hey, speaking of siblings...heard you found Michele. That's good, that's good. Question is, did you find her on her hands and knees or on her back?"

It sounds like there's struggling, a few hits between the two, and then the sound of a body hitting the pavement.

"Uh uh, Law. I told ya man, it's not a fair fight if you get the first hit. I'll admit, the way you left us, I figured you woulda taken a couple bullets to the head or end up at the bottom of the river or something. Really glad you're still around though, I really am..."

The sound of a punch breaks his sentence.

"Cause it ain't fun to beat up a dead man. Benny, make sure there isn't anyone waiting outside. I need my time here."

As you can hear the noise of someone being beat, footsteps are coming towards you. Dammit...dammit dammit dammit...

You throw the box to the ground and rip it open, holding the bat in your hands. Just one good hit...that's all you need...

As soon as one of the men rounds the corner, you swing with all your might. The solid wood connects with the man's face, and he is sent flying back.

"Yo what the fuck? Shit...shit that's right..."
The force of your swing makes your hands sting like hell. You need to prepare for the next one though, you draw the bat up again but this time a man rushes towards you. The bat connects, but there's not enough room for your swing to do the proper damage to stun him.

"Fucking...you little bitch...!" Your grabbed, arms pinned....but you keep a tight hold of your bat.

Into the alley you're pulled and you see the bloody scene. It's been one man doing the beating, the other two standing as if they were holding Lawrence back during the hits. Were holding, anyways. Collapsed on the cold alley, the remaining snow decorated with red, lays Lawrence. He's struggling to breath, blood dripping out of his mouth, bruises and lacerations decorating the skin you can see.

"Man, she really fucked up Benny..." The man holding you comments as you're brought in. "Nearly got me too, gonna leave a pretty bruise on my forehead."

"You guys were already fucked up and you know it. But that don't matter right now. What matters is my little bro is going to enjoy this story when he wakes up." Lawrence tries to push himself up at this time, but the man connects a kick to his chest.

"Hey hey hey now, calm down. You know I wouldn't hurt a nice girl. Who is she? I would ask if she was your daughter, but we all know you're a two-pump-chump and a saint. Or...or maybe you're not. Did ya get that desperate, Law? Could only find some poor young girl to take care of ya? Is it cause she doesn't know what an awful person you are? Did ya trick her? Couldn't be with money, you still look like a fucking wreck. Maybe she thinks you're handsome."

He kneels down and grabs Lawrence's bruised face in his hands, looking up at you.

"Well girly? Still handsome enough for you? Well he'd heal easy enough at this rate. I've seen him take worse. But you know what? I'm a nice guy. I'll let ya see him once more before we continue. When I'm finished showing him what Charlie owes him, there ain't no way someone would wanna kiss that ugly mug."

You are let go and pushed towards Lawrence. The bat is yanked from your hands and tossed just a few feet away from you, landing in the snow. The three remaining men give you space, but you can see the smug grin on the man who's been doing all the talking.

You kneel down and help Lawrence sit up. It looks like he chipped a tooth or bit his tongue, there's a lot of blood in his mouth, cuts drying already in the cold. You look down and can see that he's secretly slipping on the brass knuckles.

What do you do?
You look at Lawrence, trying to figure out his plan. You've already helped to make this fight a bit more balanced...hopefully. Lawrence hides his fists when the man comes back around. He needs to wait for a good opening, for a chance to get the perfect hit in. You lean in closer to help hide his weapons, your hands over his.

"What's wrong? Too scared already? Or maybe you really don't care if we fuck him up. That's fine, no one else will."

If Lawrence can manage a good hit, he could knock out a man in one hit with those things. If he can manage that, then there's just two left. Even if one holds you back, then that means he's one on one, if they both try to fight him then you can intervene. You just need to make sure to get one of these guys down...

Your hand drifts to your pocket, to your knife. Too sudden of a movement or missing would mean the end...

"Well if you're done with your little chat-"

Dammit, you need to buy more time. Just enough for Lawrence to make his move. How to buy more time...shock them...yeah...shocking them will help...

"Lawrence...t-trust me..." Your pull a hand up to his cheek and give him a kiss. You're just pushing up against his, but it's more then enough to get a reaction.

"Holy fuck, he really did find himself a little girl. Man Lawrence, you're fucked up, you know that?"

You hold it there, doing your best to ignore the taste of his blood...his sweet sweet blood...the buzzing in your head...

Aha...even now you can't help it. You pull away enough to lick up the blood on his lips and chin. If...if you can stay focused...you should be fine...

"Hey there, that's enough now. This ain't a honeymoon." The guy bends down to pull you away, and your knife is out. As his hands are on your shoulders you ram the blade down into his forearm as hard as you can.

"FUCKING BITCH-"

Lawrence silences him with the connection of cold metal to his face. A tooth flies out, and the man goes down. The two men behind Lawrence are quick to jump in, and he has to swing around to face them. He lands a punch in the gut of one but the other man has an arm around his neck, pulling him down.

Okay...focus...what should you do...right...right your bat...

You grab it from the snow. You can feel the vibrations as the wood crashes against the back of the man's skull. He lets go of Lawrence, who focuses his punches to the man in front of him. You waste no time and bring the bat down again. The man turns to face you finally, and the bat comes down again.

And again

And again

And again

You don't stop swinging till the man falls to the ground. His hand comes up to try and protect himself from the wood, but it falls limply to the side.

Fuck...your head has that amazing feeling...

You look up and see Lawrence has the last man pinned down, his fists repeatedly raising up and slamming down. You watch as the man's limbs twitch and flail at each wet hit. The mixed smells of blood are filling you...it's too much for you to handle...

You go back to the man that had been beating Lawrence, his knife still embedded into his arm. You stand over him for just a moment...

and you find yourself giving in again.

His arm is more then enough, and you let yourself go. You drink and drink and drink, filling yourself. His blood tastes pretty awful, like it's overcooked. But the feeling it gives you is more then enough to convince you to keep going.

And, for the first time, you drink till you feel...

Satisfied.

You sit back, basking in the feeling...and then throw up. It's too much. Even more red decorates the snow, but that feeling is still there. That amazing, wonderful feeling. You look back to Lawrence, who has finally finished his rampage. Red decorates his coat and face. You don't feel like attacking him, you feel content. Like you have just eaten a big feast. You seem alright, and while he is able to walk Lawrence seems pretty messed up.

What do you do?
The only thing you can muster in that moment is a blood soaked smile.

"Don't worry...you should be fine. I'm full."

You take a moment to really see the damage the two of you caused.

"We...we really are fucked up..." You rise to your feet, the movement makes you feel the wonderful floating feeling. As you look back down at the pallid man, you decide that he still owes the two of you for what happened. Taking out a busted wallet, you find twenty bucks on this guy. Nothing else in there except for a faded photo of a younger him and a smaller boy. You replace the wallet, and decide that it would be best to check the others.

All together you find about sixty-seven dollars, which you pocket. Looking back at Lawrence, you can see he's trying to catch his breath as he's leaned up against a wall.

"You ok~ay?" You wander back to him. Despite the winter wind you feel so warm right now, it's coming in from deep inside.

"You look a mess." You sound more...upbeat...then you mean to. You can't help it, as you run a finger over some of his bruises.

"We need to get you cleaned up. You need a shower."

Not back at the school. I don't want them thinking I got caught up in anything bad again.

"That's okay that's okay...I got their ca~sh." You display the wad of bills in your hand. "They owe us a ni~ce hotel room."

Fuck, you feel great right now.

"You can get all wa~shed up and cleaned up and it'll be fine~ Look, I can walk on my ankle again~" You take a few steps back to show him. It's not so much that it's better, more like you can't feel the pain.

"C'mon, you look cold. You can lean on me if you need~"

Lawrence tries to play off his injuries but a few steps in causes him to almost stumble. You take the weight of holding him upright on your shoulders. The yellow glow of a tacky motel sign guides you like a flame, and though it takes time to reach the place it feels like no time has passed by for you.

The man working the front desk looks concerned, but you push fifty dollars at him.

"We uh...we're pretty booked so I hope this is okay."

"It'll be fi~ne. We just need a place to get cleaned up and sleep~." You accept the key and find your cheap room. A bed and funny smell greets you, but its more then good enough for you.

"If you aren't going to collapse then go show~er and then we can get you patched up~" You're taking control of the situation, which would be a bit odd if your head wasn't currently floating in the clouds. Lawrence stumbles to the bathroom and you can hear the water spraying down. You flop down onto the bed, and as you enjoy your sensation you laugh a bit.

You really are a fucking monster.

What's the biggest regret you hold right now?
As you lay there, enjoying the weightlessness of your body and the disconnection of your head, those familiar dark thoughts begin trying to creep into your blissfulness.

You hurt those men. You robbed them. You gave in to your instinct again.
If you didn't, then Lawrence might be dead.

But you went overboard. You went crazy with it.

They attacked you first.

And you kept hitting that guy after he begged you to stop.

It isn't your fault.

Yes it is.

You push away that line of thinking. You don't want to ruin this wonderful feeling.

The wonderful feeling that you can only get by hurting people. By drinking their blood. You do that and then enjoy the feeling afterwards.

No no...think about something else...something nice...what is nice...

That...that kiss you had was nice. It's the first time you had a kiss on the lips that wasn't...forced...on you. That didn't hurt you or make you feel terrible. Despite the situation you were in, there was still a small flame of enjoyment from it.

Why can't kissing someone make you feel this good? Is it because you're not old enough? You let a finger drag across your chapped lips. Would...would it be nicer to do that when you're older? Will you be able to do something like that...and it means something nice? That you weren't doing it to save someone's life, but because it's a lovely thing to do?...will you still be able to enjoy other adult things too? Even if the first time you were supposed to experience was ripped away?

The thought is still a bit scary...but you do wish you could have...could have had sex for the first time with someone nice...someone who wouldn't have hurt or thrown you away afterwards...someone like-

Stop crying, you're supposed to enjoy this feeling. Who knows when you'll get the chance to get your fill like this again? You wipe away the tears and Lawrence steps out. His bloodied and rip shirt is hanging uselessly from his hands, and you can see all the lacerations and bruises on his chest. God, he looks so tired...

He sees that you're crying and tries to ask what's wrong.

"It's...it's nothing...I just...I just never learned how to ride a bike..." You jump up and push past him, going into the bathroom to clean yourself up.

Dammit...you keep ruining these nice feelings for yourself.

You look down and see drying blood on your shirt. You must have looked like a freak at the front desk...

As you shower you let the shirt soak in the sink, as you try to remove the red remnants of your sin. It's going to take better soap to completely remove them but...for now you can wear it without too much attention. Wringing it out the best you can, you place your damp sweater back on.

Back in the room, you can see Lawrence has practically passed out on the bed. He's not going to die or need a hospital, but he has several cuts and bruises over his body and face.

What do you do?
You move beside Lawrence, shaking him awake. It takes a bit, but he opens his eyes enough to look at you.

"I...I promise I won't go crazy but...but if you wanted me to take care of s-some of those..." You point at his cuts.

You can see him thinking about it before bringing his fist up to your face, gently knocking it against your cheek.

"No...cra-zy..."

"I promise..." He smiles and closes his eyes. His hands, easy enough. Arms, alright too. You stick with only the biggest cuts, you're already thirsty enough from doing this.

You stop a bit and let yourself take a bit of a break. The little bits of blood that you taste are good, but they don't add to your...whatever it is you feel. It's like you're at that top limit already, like you can't get any....any higher up.

There's not too many but you take care of the few on his chest.

"You need to trim..."

Luckily, there's none lower down that you need to worry about. You look up at his face. One side of his face is pretty bruised up, and there's an area on his neck. You lean up and tilt his head right, licking over his cheek and head. Alright, nearly done...just his neck and you can sleep.

You're leaning across his body, tilting his head to give you access. It's not so much a cut on his neck now that you look at it, just an area rubbed raw and red, probably something that happened before you could get over there. You can see the scarring from his injury years ago, jagged lines across the skin. If you can reduce any of the pain and injuries, then so be it. Your mouth covers the spot and you give a gentle suck.

You're really tired...that buzzing feels so nice but it also makes you want to sleep...

When you feel like you've done enough you remove your mouth, man you're thirsty too. But at least you did what you need to. As you start to sit back up you can see Lawrence has opened his eyes again, and he looks up at you leaning over him.

"Ah...I'm all done now..."

He's looking at you for a moment before his body jerks up and he pushes you off of him.

"H-hey...what's wrong? I didn't go crazy, I promise! I...I did good!"

Lawrence is sitting up, looking down at the bed, a red spreading through his face.

"Did I do something wrong?"

You don't get an answer as he rushes up and to the bathroom, leaving you alone on the bed.

"What...what did I do...?"

You wait but...he's not coming back out. You're too tired to wait up. Did you mess up again? You get under the covers, curled up and facing the wall.

You did good this time though, you didn't let yourself go...

...

You are asleep when Lawrence comes back. The weight of him sitting on the bed rouses you, but you don't turn to face him. He finally lays down on top of the covers and you can tell he's trying to keep his body as far from yours as possible.

What did you do?

...

When you wake up, there's the remnants of that wonderful feeling in your head. Not as good as it was last night, but the feeling still remains. Lawrence is already up, looking out the blinds.

What would you like to do before you head out?
There's a sense of guilt inside of you, but you can't really pinpoint why you have it.

"How...how are you feeling?" Lawrence barely glances back at you to give a nod.

"I...I think they offer a breakfast at this place...back near the lobby..." You get up but there's no response. You focus on getting yourself ready, washing your face off in the bathroom. You wipe your face off with a paper-towel and toss it in with the other used ones. You'll figure out what's wrong...maybe he's just sore.

...you are. Your ankle is throbbing some and your arms ache. Other then that you aren't too worse for wear. You go back out to Lawrence. He's wearing the shirt with blood, but quickly covers it up with his coat.

"You sure you're okay to leave? We can probably wait a little longer..."

I'm fine.

He doesn't look at you as he hands you the note. Is he really okay?...

The hotel offers some off-brand cereal and fruit a little past their best days, but food is food. The two of you sit at the small table, and despite talking to him Lawrence refuses to look you in the face.

"I'm...sorry if I did anything...I don't know what I did but I'm sorry..." You offer him this sentiment, but it only causes him to look more...pained.

"If it's okay...when we get back to the school and you have a chance to rest up...I would like to go back to see my mom again...i-if you're okay with that..."

Yeah

You finish eating and walk the hour to the school, though you don't try to talk to him anymore during the walk.

When you come back you're greeted by Jessica as Lawrence walks off.

"Jesus, where have you been?"

"I...I saw my mom."

"What? Really? What happened?"

"She's in the hospital, the apartment caught on fire. I...I don't think she remembers a lot of things."

"Damn...that's crazy..."

"I'm going back to see her later today though."

"Wow, I don't think I could handle that."

"Yeah..."

"Well, is there anything you wanna like, talk about for now?"
"Did anything happen here?"

"Well...don't go spreading this but...but I think Claire might be sick. She won't stop throwing up and Sam has been tending to her all day..."

"What about her baby?"

"I think she's okay. It looks like they're mainly concerned about Claire."

You don't want to focus on babies too much right now...

"And...and there's been no like, cops, right? No one snooping around in uniform?"

"Nah...nah I think we're pretty safe here. Long as we're careful to sneak in and out of here. But it's been boring here, I want to hear about yesterday."

"Yesterday was...pretty rough...but I think I need someone to talk to."
Jessica nods and you two find somewhere private to converse. She passes you a juice-box...you like them but there's something weird about seeing a girl her age drinking from one.

"So I saw my mom and she just...seemed out of it. Before I could get any real answers though she just started to like...freak out. That's why I gotta go back today."

"Right right."

"But then..." You make sure no one is close and lean in.

"So...me and Lawrence were on our way back, right? Riding the bus, it's late at night and these guys come on and they follow us off. I guess they knew him, they were pretty mad..."

"Were you guys jumped?"

"Yeah...it got pretty bad too. I...I think we barely got away from there okay."

"Jesus..."
"Lawrence was hurt really badly too. I mean, he's fine and he could walk away from it all but...I gave him a uh...'hand'. Otherwise he would probably just...not be in the best condition right now."

"And it worked?"

"Yeah...yeah I think so but..."
"But what?"

"So he let me do it, and I um...I used my mouth because it's easier..."

Wow, that sounds awful when you say it out loud.

"But he was asleep during most of it, and it was mainly on his arms and stuff. When I was all done he ended up waking up and just...ran off to the bathroom. He won't look at me right now either...I don't know what I did wrong..."

Jessica nearly chokes on her juice box are you tell her this.

"W-what's wrong? Did I do something weird?"

She's trying to wipe away the juice around her mouth, her face a bright red.

"I uh...I'm pretty sure you didn't do anything wrong..."

"Then what is it?"

"Well...I can't say for sure. Only he can do that but...but if you want my opinion." Jessica thinks about how to word this, her face staying the deep red color.

"So uh...so you were using your mouth and stuff...right? I uh...I think he might have...maybe...accidentally...enjoyed that..."

"What do you mean enj-...oh. Ohhhhh....what?"

"Eh...g-guys are weird. My boyfriend use to uh...pop a chub if he watched me put up my hair sometimes..."

"What?"

"Ah never mind just...try not to act weird around him. He's probably just embarrassed about it." Before Jessica can tell you any more Lisa calls out about Thompson and Clark bullying her.

"Lemme deal with them for a bit...just...you didn't do anything wrong, alright?" Jessica gets up and leaves you behind.

It seems like everyone is here, what would you like to do before you leave?
You feel like it would be polite to go say hello to Sam and give your condolences to Claire. You've seen her around before but never spoke to her. You see that Claire is laying down, propped up by a few pillows with Sam at her side. As you come over, you're a bit thrown back by how she looks.

Her face looks so thin and sunken in...she didn't look like this before when you saw her...right? The skin on her looks so drawn out too...

Sam greets you as you approach and Claire can only offer you a nod.

"I just wanted to come over and say that...I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I hope you get better..." As you say this Claire offers you a weary smile.

"Ah, I'm glad you came over here. I just wanted to let you know that your medicine Mabel told me about will be here some time with in the next seven days. I'll let you know right away." Sam sounds somber as he tells you this and you can feel the same mood seep in.

"Th-thank you..." You notice that the baby is no where nearby. As you walk away to give Claire her privacy you can hear the baby's crying. John seems to be holding her, feeding her from a bottle. He seems pretty natural at it...did he have children? You can't help but put a hand to your stomach.

...

You walk over to where he is, and he greets you.
"I was just...wondering if I could have something to eat?"

"Sure thing missy just...ah, sorry. Will you hold her?"

"I've....I've never held a baby before..."

"Here it's easy. Just hold her for a moment and I'll heat ya something up." John shows you how to hold the baby in your arms just right, and he begins to cook some food. You try your best to not look at her too much.

"What's...what's her name?" Why are you asking....

"Cecilia. Ain't she cute?"

"Y-yeah..."

You've never been more thankful to receive fried eggs, trading him the baby.

"Hopefully mama over there gets better soon..."

"What's wrong with her?"

"Don't know. Sam's been trying to figure it out."

You eat as John talks more about the baby. You discover that the father isn't around and Claire hasn't mentioned who it is.

Almost like you...

You finish eating and thank John for the food.

Lawrence is taking a nap, but if you don't leave now then you won't make it in time for visiting hours. You're almost afraid to, but you wake him up anyways.

"I'm...I'm ready if you are..."

Once again he's not looking at you. You don't talk to him either as you guys make it back to bus station. You feel awkward sitting next to him, like you've done something wrong. You...you haven't according to Jessica but that feeling lingers...

Do you try to talk to Lawrence before you get to the hospital?
Jessica said to not make a big deal out of it. You...you can do that. Totally.
"The...the snow on the roads looks so gross right now. It's all just slush and dirty."

"..."

"Maybe...maybe after all of this...is all done then we can do something fun...l-like a movie."

"..."

"Ehe...that lady almost slipped in the snow."

"..."

"...I...I know you uh...'popped a chub' last night..."

"...!"

Lawrence looks absolutely appalled by your words. What if you were wrong and just...accused him of something awful?

"Ah! I'm sorry...I'm wrong, aren't I? Just...just forget I said anything!"

You turn away from him. Simple, easy, smooth. That's you.

As you look out the passing streets you can hear Lawrence writing. It takes a while but you're eventually handed a note.

I'm sorry if I've made you feel like you've done something wrong. You haven't, it's me. I let myself get too comfortable last night and I just ended up doing something awful.

"Did it involve...um..." You feel so close to figuring this all out.

I got scratched out wordsexcited, when I really shouldn't have. It wasn't right of me to do that, but for some stupid selfish reason I just let it happen.

You still feel a bit lost, but you can see he's flustered by all this.
"Well...I'm not mad at you or anything. But...but when we're in private...would you please explain it better to me?"

Lawrence nods, and while you feel a bit better you notice he's still not looking you in the eyes. You decide to end the conversation by giving his arm a pat. Jeez...your arms are pretty sore though...

You arrive at the hospital, and you let Lawrence take over the conversation again.

"Ah, yeah she gave us quite a fright yesterday. But I'm afraid she does have a visitor at the moment if you were wanting to see her alone...um, I believe it might be...a mother-in-law? I shouldn't be telling you though..."

Your heart skips a beat. Your...grandmother is here?

What do you do?
Lawrence glances back at you and you give him a nod to continue.

Back down the hall, to the room...

You look in through the window, back to where your mother had been. You can see another person standing there at her bed...

"Grandma...can you go in and I'll try to hide behind you?"

Lawrence nods and takes the lead. You two decide to stand by a bed with a sleeping woman, you keep yourself tuck away behind his body. Drawing down your cap and raising your scarf, you listen carefully.

"-don't believe that it's too late. If you would just..."

"..."
"Are you not going to talk to me? We're discussing your daughter here."

"..."

"Unbelievable. You move here with your greedy palm open, and now that I am trying to offer you help, nothing?"
"..."

"You...you are the worst. I can't believe my son would have married you."

And in a huff, your grandmother turns to leave. You watch her carefully from behind Lawrence. She has that usual annoyed look, like when she talks to your mother. But there...looks to be some sort of sadness there too. You allow her to walk out of the room, trying to comprehend the conversation.
"Um...who are you?" The woman in the bed you guys are standing by has woken up, and you quickly offer an apology. You go to stand beside your mother's bed.

"..." She looks over at you with deaden eyes and says nothing.

What do you want to talk about?
You remove your hat and scarf.

"It's me...m-mom." The formality you're using feels strange.

She doesn't say anything and you take the seat again.'

"..." You wait to see if she will say anything. Her eyes are still starring at where you were.

"Mom..."

"..."

You reach up and shake her shoulder. There's a pause, and she finally looks over at you.

"Oh...Don..." Her hand reaches out to you, her voice hazy.

Your father's name.

"I'm so scared...to be a mother. I really am."

"I'm not Don."

"You're...that's right. Delilah. You're Delilah."

"I am. Can you tell me about...the apartment."
"Apartment...the...the new one. Right. What...what about it?"

"When...when exactly did you start with those pills?"

"The pills...in your food...it was...the third day. After the movers left."

"And you kept putting them in all my meals?"

"Yeah...yes, I did. Had to keep you asleep as long as possible."

You don't want to push her too far.
"Do you remember the name, James Bower?"
"Bower...Bower was...a friend...a friend of Don's."

"D-Dad's friend?"

"Yes."

"What...what was he supposed to be doing at the apartment?"

"Fixing you."

"What does that mean?"

"I...I don't remember...you were...what were you..."

Your mother begins to freak out again and you back off of your questions for a moment.

Is there anything else you would like to ask her?
"Did I do anything wrong?" Your voice is soft as you ask this, like a child who knows they are in trouble. Her emancipated head shakes slowly.

"Then...did you hate me?"

"I didn't love you the way I should have."

You take this in silence.

"Did you...did you ever love me?"

"Of course. I don't think...I was ever good at showing it though..."

As she speaks her voice sounds closer to what you remember her, the sad terrible memories with her.

The silence hanging between you two is heavy. The sounds of other patients do nothing to cut the tension. Lawrence nudges you gently and you continue.

"Did you get paid for...letting me get treatment?"

"It cost me so much money to have you looked at."

"You were...paying to have me treated?"

"Yes...yes the doctor said that it would be expensive..and he's been right."

"Was there more then one doctor?"

"He...I think he sometimes came with others..."

You're struggling to think about this information.
"How did you know that...that I was sick?"

As she's about to answer your mother breaks down into the most horrific wailing. You can barely make out the words she squeezes out.

"You-...-got-....-from-...-me-..."

She's absolutely sobbing at this point. It looks like she's broken as she babbles on about things you don't understand. One of the machines hooked up to her begins to blare, and a nurse shoves the two of you away.

"You can't get her excited like that!"

The nurse rushes back to help with your mother, and in a lonely waiting room you stand with Lawrence.

How...are you supposed to handle this information...

You take a seat and hold your head in your hands.

Why was grandma here...why...just so many things...

Lawrence sits next to you as you begin to think.

It's the late afternoon, what do you do?
You consider asking a doctor about possibly getting some information on your mother but that might mean turning you over to either the police or your grandmother...though you suppose Lawrence could help pose as your guardian but...

Damn...you wish you understood this stuff better.

What could you do safely for now...

Grandmother...maybe you could go see her. The way she spoke with your mother just now...it's like it was a different person who had slammed the door in your face.

"I think I need to visit my grandma now...it sounded like she was looking for me or something..."

You sit upright, even if you don't have a whole lot to go off of...it feels like a new light has been struck inside of you. Even if it's the smallest flame, you can feel it spreading.

"And if she knows anything, anything at all...I can wrap my head around this whole thing. Even if she....even if she slams the door in my face again. It doesn't matter, I'll keep knocking on her door till my hands bleed and then more."

You jump up pulling your cap back on.

"And...and even if she doesn't open up then...y-you'll help me break down the door...right?" You look back at Lawrence.

He seems surprised by your new enthusiasm, but he stands up and offers his hand. You take it in your much smaller one and the two of you firmly shake. Glancing up, you can see he's looking at you again, a tug of a smile on his face.

"Alright, this is a promise. But don't forget the other one from the bus either, alright?"

There's the sign of fluster on his face, but you make a face at him before he can fall back into his mood.

"But we should get going now...I think by the time we get there it'll start to get dark."

Despite feeling like you've...'made up' with him, your long walk with Lawrence is silent. It doesn't have that awkward feeling to it though, and you're thankful for it.

As the orange light from the setting sun lights up the way, you can see you are coming into the right neighborhood. Tall and thin houses with their gates surround you rather then apartments. The rare lawn is even visible from the iron gates, and you stop in front of your grandmother's. A phrase you remember your father mentioning about his family rings in your head. Old money.

You glance up the walkway and to the heavy doors.

There's no reason to be nervous...running is always an option. Remember that...no matter what you can always run.

With a creak you swing open the heavy gate and ascend up the stairs. You bring your hand up, ready to knock. Hesitation pauses you, but determination moves you forward.

With firm hits your knocks echo through the doors. Your heart is fluttering about like crazy, but you try to keep your chin up right and steady.

The door swings open slowly and you find yourself facing your grandmother once more. It seems like she doesn't recognize you, and you slip off the cap and scarf.

"Delilah?"

What do you say to your grandmother?
There are seconds that hang between the two of you. She's stunned, as if comprehending that fact that you are standing in front of her.

"What part of me needs fixing?"

"E-excuse me?"

"Mom said I'm sick, and needed fixing. What exactly did she mean?"

Your grandmother stares down at you, a lost look on her face. She snaps out of it and you see her return to her more formal demeanor.

"Can we not have this conversation on the porch, Delilah?"

"Are you inviting me inside?"

"I am." Grandmother steps back, gesturing for you to come inside. She finally notices Lawrence standing a few feet behind you.

"...who is this?"

"Lawrence, he's my friend. If he wasn't around then I wouldn't be here right now so...um...please invite him in too."

You step inside and are greeted with the same interior style that your grandmother always had. As a child you always thought that her choice of decorating reflected her. Antique, gray, and wealthy.

Lawrence steps up to the porch, offering a welcoming hand to your grandmother. She looks averse to accepting it, but begrudgingly accepts it.

On a couch with thin wooden legs and a high back that offers little comfort, you and Lawrence squish in as your grandmother takes her spot in the same armchair she's had, the empty one your grandfather once sat in next to her.

The formality of the situation almost makes you forget what you had asked on the porch.

"Grandma...what's wrong with me? What needs fixing." Your hands are balled up in your lap, and while you look her in the face you can't help but feel intimidated.

"Hmm...Don had told me a little bit about it before he died, but I could never get him to elaborate. He insisted that you would be fine though, so I didn't try to pry. I tried in the beginning but he would tell me that I was being nosy." Your grandmother speaks sternly, but at the mention of your father there is that lingering softness that you once experienced.

"So you don't know what's wrong with me? What I am...?"

"Don just wouldn't tell me, and your mother certainly wouldn't either."

"Have you...seen mom recently?" You decide to keep your knowledge vague for now.

"I was informed when she ended up in the hospital. I expect that she did something stupid but no one has been able to get a straight answer from her. They noted that the fire didn't seem accidental. I honestly wouldn't have cared either way except..." She attempts to keep face, but you can see thin gray eyebrows wavering.

"They said she was the only one in the apartment. No one knew anything about, well, you. None of the officers or firemen or anyone at the hospital. It's like you had vanished."

"Well..." You mess with your hands. "...I did run away."

"That night when you came here?"
You nod.

"And your mother hadn't sent you out?"

"No."

How much about what has happened to you do you wish to tell your Grandmother?
"I ran away from home, because the man who was supposed to be helping me..." Your hand drifts to your stomach.

"I think he was coming in to give me medication, or do something like that. Mom said he would sometimes bring o-...other men in but I don't think she realizes what they might have actually been d-doing."


You can see that your words are beginning to spark some fear in your grandmother, and you deliver the blow that drives home her thoughts.


"I was asleep for almost the entire time...but one night I woke up and this man...this James Bower, came into my room. And..."


Deep breath.


"He raped me. Mom was passed out, so I don't think she heard what was going on, but I just ran. I tried to come here but..."


You decide to let your grandmother fill in the blank there, and from the realization on her face you can see it sink in.


"...so I was on the streets for a while. I...I ended up getting taken advantage of again by two more men..." You grip your own hands for support, you can feel Lawrence is uncomfortable with hearing all of this again.


"But I didn't know what else to do, so I just...wandered around for a while longer. I could have been worse but then...Lawrence helped me. He's helped me since then."


Your hands shake a bit.


"But now...here I am. Just confused and...and pregnant."


The look on your grandmother's face is one you have only seen once before. The face of a mother as she watched her only child being lowered into the cold ground.


"I...oh God...Delilah..." She puts a hand to her chest, and you worry that this might be too much.


"But I was hoping I could get some more information from y-"


"I-I'm sorry dear...I just...I need to take this all in."


Maybe it was too much for her to take in. You watch her rise with a shakiness unbeknownst to her.


"I...god...I need to take my pills..." You watch her shamble off to the kitchen. You only sit there with Lawrence till she returns, her wrinkled face an even paler white.


"Delilah..." Her voice is shaky, but she is so desperately trying to keep her sternness.


"I know that it doesn't mean much to you now. But...I am so sorry for all this hell you went through. You deserve any answer you want but...but I'm afraid if I continue right now then I won't make it through the night. Stay here if you wish, I have a guestroom for your...friend here, and you can take your father's room. There's food in the fridge but...I just can't handle all of this right now."


Before you can say anything she walks off and you hear the door to her bedroom open and close.

Do you wish to stay the night here?
You consider checking on your grandmother, but decide it would be best to leave her alone.

"You don't think I was too...rushed with that...do you?" Looking up at Lawrence he initially only offers you a shrug.

Don't know how else someone could have taken that. It's pretty heavy stuff you got going on.

"Yeah..." Your eyes look around at the living room and feel out of place among the nice things.

"Do...you mind staying here? It might be easier then going back and forth again."

Do you feel safe enough here?

"I think so, yes."

Then we can stay the night. If anything goes fishy we can bail.

"Right. And if...you don't mind..." You hush your voice, on the off chance your grandmother could hear you.

"Can..can I stay with you in the guest room? Dad's room is covered in his pictures and it...it makes me feel uncomfortable..."

It looks like Lawrence is about to put out that it's a bad idea, but nods his head in acceptance instead. You put out the tall narrow stairs to him and explain which door it is. As you go to the kitchen you can heavy his heavy footsteps creak above. This house is old, you knew that even as a child.

You open the fridge and you're rushed over with a semblance of...normal. Like this is something you would be doing, that this is something that shouldn't feel like a big deal.

...

Up the stairs you go, holding an old platter with sandwiches and cups on them. The skinny hallway, it looks even thinner now that you are older. First door, a closet. You use to hide in there. Second door, a washroom. Third door, dad's room. Fourth door, guest room.

You manage to open the door and balance the food. Inside, you see Lawrence is standing among the furniture, a little afraid to touch any of it.

"Don't worry, I've played on this stuff a bunch when I was little. If it didn't break then, it won't break now."

Lawrence sits at the vanity, and the creak of the chair makes you wonder if your previous statement had been untrue.

"Here, I made dinner." You sit on the bed, the platter balanced on the edge between the two of you.

"It's just...peanut-butter and jelly. Maybe...I should have made you something different..." You regret not asking him before hand, but he takes a sandwich regardless. Out of the oval window, you can see the street lamps begin to light up.

What do you want to do before bed?
You eat your sandwich quietly, memories of the guest room coming back to you. None of them are awful, in fact most of them were fun.
It just makes you all the more sad to remember them now. You think back to when your dad was alive, back before you had gone through...

Everything.

You feel bad about always letting those dark thoughts creep in, but even at your happiest you can't stop it. Do other girls who go through this feel the same way? The constant shame and guilt? That they're dirty. Do...do boys go through this too? Can a boy be hurt in the same way? You're not sure how exactly...but they must go through this kind of mental pain too...right?

Or...are you the only one who feels like this?

You choke a bit on the peanut-butter and take a drink. Lawrence is looking out the window, and you try to think about what to do. You splay out on your back, looking at the ceiling.

It's quiet. You remember one of your friend's always had her ceiling covered in celebrity pictures from the magazines and those plastic stars that glowed in the dark. You always wanted your room like that but...now that room is gone. Maybe it's for the best. It's like the fire ate away those awful events then, right?

You look back over at Lawrence. He's still leaning against the back of the chair, looking out the window, bored out of his mind. Rolling over to your stomach, you reach across and poke at his leg for his attention.

"Hey...tell me now. I wanna know."

Lawrence is looking back you, feigning innocence.

"Tell me bout you getting all...comfortable...last night."

You watch as he writes, constantly stopping the pen as Lawrence thinks about the best way to put these down into words for you.

I don't want you to freak out about all this, okay? Last night while you were doing your thing, I wasn't really paying attention to you doing it, just what was being done. And honestly, a feeling like that just ended up feeling too good, I should have paid better attention to myself. But by the time I had thought about it, it was too late. I was hard, and I'm so so sorry.

He refuses to look over at you as you read this. It feels like you understand most of it, but there are still the little gaps. You're nervous about asking, but you've come this far.

"What do you mean by hard...?" You have a sinking feeling as he passes you the answer. As a guy, I just got too excited. Turned on. Excited. An erection, like when a man is ready for sex.

"Eh...y-you got...t-those feelings from me..."

Why do you feel scared by that? The thought of sex doesn't bring back any good memories...Lawrence isn't like those guys though...right? But they had those same feelings for you and they did that awful stuff. Your flight response is yelling at you, but it feels like you can't move.

Please don't think I would have done anything to hurt you. I know this sounds like I'm trying to make it sound normal, but I didn't want to act on it. I swear. I feel horrible about it. It's sick that I would get that way around you I know. I was hoping you wouldn't find out because I never wanted you to think I would be one of those people to hurt you like that.

It's a struggle for Lawrence to get all his thoughts out this way. Too slow for him, his words like a scribbled mess on the page.

I've already put you through a lot. Like last night. Jesus Christ, I let you be in that situation. I was always the violent one, I was always the one to make people scared of me. But looking back at you, with that bat and all that blood around you and the way you just looked so pleased was awful. I put you through something like that and didn't even offer you any condolence or even an explanation, I just felt like this sort of thing was the norm for me, and expected you to handle it like I do. And then what I let myself do in the motel room on top of that?

Lawrence's body is bent over, his face in his hands as you read this one. You look up at him when you reach the end, and it looks like he's ready to write you more but he gives up.

"I'm...so-rry..." He's looking in front of him, a pained look on his face, like he knows he's done wrong.

"I'm just...fu-cked...up...De-lilah..."

You're shocked to hear your name from him, but you remember that's what your grandmother had been calling you.

What do you do?
There's the need to run of the room, but you fight the need. Your feelings of fear aren't from him...but...but things you've experienced in the past. Things he hasn't done to you. Things he doesn't want to do to you.
"It's alright..." You keep your voice soft, like you're afraid of startling him.

"I..." What's the right words to use here...forgive? Wouldn't that imply he did something wrong though?

"...You're fine." He still isn't looking up as you say this.

"You haven't hurt me. You haven't done anything bad. Why should you feel bad about it?" Lawrence is still starring at the ground, and you feel a connection.

"I feel bad a lot too. Parts of me says that I shouldn't...that what I feel guilty for isn't my fault. But despite that...I can't help it. Maybe...maybe I'll learn not to feel bad about it...but I do now. Maybe you're the same way."

There's nothing and you reach a hand for his shoulder. Lawrence flinches at your touch but otherwise doesn't pull away.

"But...the only thing I can tell you is that, I'm not mad at you."

You want to give him a hug, but you don't want to scare him off.

"If it bothers you too much then I can go sleep in the other room."

He slowly shakes his head.

"If you want the bed to yourself then that's fine."

Once again he shakes his head.

"Well...you can't sleep on the floor. I've tried. So um...when you're ready to, don't be scared about sleeping in the bed."

You would offer him your father's bedroom, but you don't feel like your grandmother would take too kindly to that. The room is basically a shrine for her.

You slip off your shoes and slide into the bed, as close to the wall as you can get.

"Um...you can just turn off the light when you're ready."

Laying against the downy pillows, keeping your face hidden, you listen for Lawrence. The lull makes you a bit nervous, you don't move to keep from breaking it. Finally you hear Lawrence stand up and the lights flick off. He's lays in the bed, above the covers and trying to keep a space between both of you.

As the time passes you can feel yourself becoming sleepy, but it feels like there's something you need to do. Turning around and facing his back, you let your hands come up to his back and lean against him in lieu of an embrace. He tenses up but doesn't stop you either.

"I don't want you to be scared about me...I don't hate you. I promise."

You stay in this position, and eventually you feel Lawrence's body relax some. Still, it feels like you should say something else to relax the situation...

Your grandfather died when you were fairly young, but your grandmother use to tell you the story about how they met. How did it go?
"Even though she might not seem like it...grandma use to be a lot less strict when she was younger. There's a story she use to tell me about her and grandpa..."

You press against Lawrence a bit more as you remember how she told you this story. It was a happy story and she would always laugh, but there was also that spark of loss in her eyes too.

"When she was way younger, she had to work at the restaurant her dad owned. She was supposed to take it over when she got older, cause there wasn't any boys in the family who could do it. It was such a nice place too, so there was a lot of pressure on her. She would go and sneak out to the piers to go see the sailor men. One day though there was a ship that brought in some immigrants, and my grandpa was one of them. He just came from Italy, and wanted to make a name for himself in America with just the clothes on his back. Grandma says she remembers laughing at him because of how lost he looked and the funny way he spoke. When he came up to her for directions she could barely understand a word he said, but she tried her best to help him out anyways. He found where he needed to go and she said goodbye, and they didn't see each again for a while."

You aren't sure if Lawrence is even listening to the story, but maybe it will help him get to sleep if anything.

"Then one night, she and some of her girl friends went out to a fair that was being held. While she was there she saw that funny Italian boy again, working one of the rides. He was on a...a motorbike I think. She watched as he did his trick and failed, the bike rolled away from him and he crashed near by. She helped him up, and he told her right there, 'I'm going to marry you pretty lady'. Course she didn't believe him, but she started going out with him anyways. Grandma's dad didn't really approve though, he was a poor boy who ran errands for a grocer and did stupid stunts on the side. He barely had any money and lots of dreams instead. Grandma had to marry a good smart man he said. Then one day, grandpa said goodbye and left for a long time. It broke grandma's heart, she refused the offers from any other man. Everyone thought she would become a ...what's the word she used...a spinster. Then, one day, after three years had passed the Italian boy came in to the restaurant in these nice clothes. He asked grandma for her dad and when she brought him out, grandpa got down on one knee, took grandma's hand, and asked her to marry him. She said yes even after all that time. Grandpa had gone and became successful just so that he could marry grandma."

You can't help but smile at the story. It always sounded so sweet and romantic when you heard it as a child.

Is there anything else you want to talk about before you sleep?
You curl up some more and feel your breathing slowing down as you allow your body to fall into it's slumber. The heat beneath your fingers makes you stay where you are and you hope that's fine.

"I...I hope..." You're talking out loud but to yourself.

"That one day...I can have a nice story like that...to tell my kids..."

You close your eyes and your words become a barely audible mumble.

"Maybe one day I'll find a prince who is nice like you."

There's some slight movement behind your hands, but other then that you are able to fall asleep easily enough.

No dreams tonight, but you stay warm.

...

You wake up to Lawrence shaking you gently. Out of the window, there's the beginning signs of morning reaching in. Grandmother will probably be up soon, and it would be better for you to go and meet her then to have her come find you.

In the washroom you freshen up, preparing yourself for the questions you'll ask grandmother today. Down the stairs, with Lawrence following, you go and see your grandmother is sitting at the kitchen table. You could smell them from upstairs, but you weren't convinced that your grandmother would make pancakes. It's like when you were a child all over again.

She only has a cup of coffee in front of her, two plates already set out. You take the seat next to her, a glass of apple juice already in place. Knowing about some of the questions you're about to ask...it feels strange just sitting at the table like this

"I hope you slept well." You nod.

"Well then, eat up. And...you can go ahead and ask me what you want."
It may be best to just get down to the nitty-gritty of it all.

"What do you know about the fire?"

"Just that it baffled the firemen. It looked like she was trying to escape but just couldn't for some reason. Your mother may be idiotic at times, but I doubt she would get lost in her own living room like that"

Trying to escape...

"I know it was mom's but...what do you know about my sickness?"

Your grandmother takes a drink from her coffee to steady herself.

"Like I said, not much. Your mother had it, but I don't think Don knew till after she became pregnant. Whatever it was didn't seem to be too serious for her, but I think there was some risk for the child, for you. He did try to tell me that you would be fine though. Don got angry if I asked any more though, so I stopped pestering him."

Not much more there...

"Did dad work with any special people? I knew he was a surgeon, but was there anyone else he worked with that was...weird? Someone like...by the name of-"

"Bower. You mentioned his name before."

"Yeah...d-did dad know him"

"From what I can remember, they were on pretty good terms with each other. But that Bower...he was a strange one. I couldn't place my finger on it exactly, but there was something about him that worried me." Your grandmother's face turn sad. "And I can see now that I was correct."

You look down at your half eaten pancakes as she says this.

"I think the two of them worked together for a bit before Bower went off to start his own practice. That's all I know about him."

You struggle to take this in. The man that hurt you...knew your father...

Your grandmother only looks at you with a sorrowful expression while Lawrence is just letting you take this all in.

"Um..." You sniff a bit and wipe your nose with your sleeve. Why is this question coming to you now?

"Why...did you never like mom?"

Your grandmother has an annoyed look, but it seems more from the thought of thinking of your mother.

"I knew the two of them weren't meant to be together. They just weren't cut out for it, but then she went and got pregnant. I was worried that she would drag my little boy with her...I was so attached to Don. I...I lost two babies before I had him. He was my special one, the one who stayed by my side. I felt like your mother ripped him away from me, and after he died...I couldn't help but see a mix of her with Don in you and it just made me think of what I had lost."
You never heard about how you look like your mother. It was always, 'oh you look so much like Don' or 'you have Don's this and that'. It's...it's weird to remember she's part of you too. You wipe at your eyes with your sleeve.

"I know this has been unfair to you. Being thrown into the middle of all this."

"Was it you that put up the missing ads?"
"I looked into it, but it looked like your mother had already done it."

"Mom posted a $25000 reward..."

"Gracious, where would she have came across that money? She never asked me for that amount "

"I...I don't know..."

It feels like your head is starting to hurt from all this.

"Can...can I stay here if I need to?"

"I can't turn you away again."

"Th-...thank you. I...I think I need to speak to Lawrence alone though."

Your grandmother gives a strange look to this, but rises up.

"Of course." You wait till you can hear her bedroom door open and shut again.

What are your plans?
"I need to get to Bower...I need to get to those others." You say this, and you can feel all the hate starting to well up.

"I want to find them and...and I want to..." There aren't words that you can find to describe your wants, the things that you truly want to do. The fork in your hand clatters against the glass plate, you feel so focused on a goal you can't even put into words.

"...we should leave now. It's morning, that means it's plenty of time to get...get what I need to do done." You rise from the table, but you can see Lawrence is looking off, a conflicted and worried expression on his face.

...

You stand in front of your grandmother, ready to head out. Lawrence stands at the bottom of the steps, letting you talk to her alone. Your grandmother is looking down at you with her usual stern expression.

"I should tell you, I really don't feel like I should be letting you out alone."

"I'm not alone. I'm with Lawrence."

There's a grim expression on her face.

"I see. I...I know it's too late for me to tell you this. But...just be careful around men."

You look away as she says this.

"He...I'm assuming he's a nice man, even if he's dumb. Er...I suppose your generation calls it mute now. Either way, I would feel much better if you were home before dark...even if you won't tell me what you're doing."

You don't answer this and your grandmother has the tinges of worry on her face.

"...please, wait a moment." She disappears into the house and returns quickly, slipping something small into your hands.

"Be careful with this, but don't be afraid to use it either, alright?" She whispers this as you look down in your hand. A tube...?

"It's pepper spray. Make sure it's not facing you and make sure the wind isn't blowing towards you either when its used."

"Ah...thank you...grandma."

You're about to walk off but she pulls you close and hugs you.

"I'm...so sorry about everything, Delilah. I really am." She whispers this and you can't hear the tears in her voice. You decide to return the hug before you set off down her steps. She watches for a long time before the door is closed.

"Bower...we need to find Bower first." Your mind is reeling with the thoughts, with the plans, with what you need to do-

Lawrence has his hand on your shoulders and turns you to face him.

"What is it?"
He has that same look from earlier, and he pulls out a note that he must have written earlier when you weren't paying attention.

I know you're set on this. I understand, but I don't know if you fully understand what might happen, or what it could mean afterwards. I don't think it's healthy for you to sit down and think about it the entire day before making whatever choice you have. But please, hear me out.

Let me give you a day where you don't have think about any of this. You don't have to think about revenge or anyone hurting you or anything like that.

Just let me give you a day with nothing negative, and then you can make your choice.

Do you accept Lawrence's offer?
"You promise this isn't a trick to convince me of anything?"

Lawrence nods, and you can see the mix of concern and sincerity on his face.

"Okay...okay we can." He smiles as you say this.

"What do you have planned?" And it's gone as he realizes that he hadn't gotten anything past this. Lawrence takes a moment to think and looks like a revelation has come over him.

Have you been to the Plaza?

"Uh...no. No, I don't think so." As you say this Lawrence looks really excited, contrasting harshly against his tired look that you have been used to. Without another thought he takes you by the hand and leads you down the way.

It takes nearly two hours and a bus ride, but you are led to a loud and busy area. There's a large park settled in the middle of a large open space, several businesses surrounding it. Plenty of families and couples are filling the area, many of them dressed nicely, probably straight out of church. There are trees dotting the place, unlike the majority of the city. Unfortunately they are missing their leaves, but the clinging snow makes up for the bareness. From the distance, in an outdoor stage area, you can see that a nativity scene has been set up.

"It feels pretty busy here..." You say, but Lawrence points at an older looking building. Large letters take up little space, but you can see that it's a movie theater.

"Ah...y-yeah. Yeah, I haven't seen a movie in a while."

There are a handful of movies playing, but you haven't been able to keep up with recent releases so you feel a bit lost looking up at the names. The posters offer you a bit more information, but you still have no clue what to pick.

"Would...would this one be okay?" You point at the poster in front of you.

Land Before Time

Cartoon dinosaurs decorate the scene, but you worry that it might be too boring for Lawrence. He agrees with your choice, but you feel like he would have gone for anything you chose. At the ticket booth he pays for both tickets and you find yourself among a sea of children and their parents. You usually like to sit up front but because of Lawrence's height you decide it would be more polite to stay near the back instead.

You're surprised by how much you cry at the beginning of the movie, you're pretty sure even Lawrence was looking away so you wouldn't see him tear up. But you still enjoyed the movie. Yep yep yep.

You're almost lost in the sea of literal children, but you come out of the theater just fine. It's about noontime now. From what you can see there are;

Restaurants: A café, a bakery, an ice cream parlor, and an Italian place.

An Arcade

A play that will happen later in the day

A photo-booth

A book store

A clothes store

An art gallery

What do you want to do next?
"Um...would it be fine if we ate there?..." You point at the small restaurant, a chalkboard advertising the specials of the day.
The Vine

One again Lawrence agrees and soon you are waiting in a small line. People stand in front and behind you and all of them are dressed fairly nice, compared to the pair of you anyways. When it is your turn to be seated the host seems a bit taken back by you, but seats you at a table anyways. A small round table with a one page menu waiting greets you.

"Before grandpa died, I remember him cooking some food from his country. Maybe this stuff will be as good." You're excited to look over your options.

...

You...have no idea what half of this is. Why is there so many options for wine? What is this....

The waitress comes all too soon to take your order, and you can barely get your words out.

"I w-want uh...oh man um...p-pasta?" You figure you would try to sound fancy with it to impress everyone around.

"Alright, but which kind?"

Oh god there are other kinds? The only ones you can think of is spaghetti and maybe...wait...is ravioli pasta? Chef Boyardee is Italian...right?

"J-just spaghetti..." You feel so lame right now, but the waitress is nice enough to just smile and take your order. Lawrence just points to what he wants all calm and cool.

"I d-didn't look stupid just now...did I?"

No more then you usually do.

"Oh god." You feel incredibly lame.

...

"So...have you been to this place before?" You look out the window at the business outside, waiting for your meal to come.

Once. Usually you hear about people spending a weekend here or something. It's just a pretty family friendly kind of place.

"Why'd you come here before?" You hope this isn't a loaded question.

It was when I worked with William. I was a bit more cleaned up then and he thought I would be cheered up if he helped me get set up on a date.

"W-what happened?"

The girl was nice, I think it was his cousin or something. But there just wasn't anything special there I guess. We hung out here, she gave me a good-bye kiss, and I never ended up calling for a second date. I don't really know why. I guess I wasn't really ready for something like that. Or maybe I figured she couldn't handle me.

Lawrence is looking out the window as you read this.

"Oh...do you think she missed you though?"

Well if she did she got over it pretty quickly. Pretty sure she's married and has a kid now.

The food is brought and you enjoy the spaghetti given to you. Definitely not Chef Boyardee's.

You watch as Lawrence pays for this, removing the bills from his shrinking wallet. You hope this wasn't too expensive...

The book store catches your attention, and you pull him inside. You're excited to look at all the new arrivals, flipping through many of them.

Is there anything you want to get here? And where would you like to go to next?
You vaguely remember the Princess Bride being based off of a novel. Maybe if you look hard enough you can find it. Lawrence follows behind as you search the shelves, quickly scanning over the spines of each book. You slowly become more and more disappointed as your search reveals nothing.
"Maybe it isn't here...I love the Princess Bride movie but I don't think they have it here..."

Lawrence points you over to the mess that is the bargain bin section. The mess that is the unorganized boxes almost scares you away.

Almost.

You are elbow deep in the amass of paperback books. You pass over several selections, none of them filling the gap in your heart that the Princess Bride would.

You manage to get to the bottom of the bin, one book in hand.

With the Old Breed

That's not your wonderful story. You let it bounce back into the box. Admitting defeat, you're ready to tell Lawrence you're ready to go when he pushes you a worn out and dog-earred book. It looks a bit of a mess but...

You have the book rung up at the counter, and as you walk out you're carefully scrapping the price sticker from the cover.

"I hope it's as amazing as the movie was." The smile on your face is wide, you have found a treasure. You slip the book back into the bag from the store, noticing the photo-booth.

"Can we do that next?"

There's another line for the tall box. A couple stands behind you and a group of girls in front. A small family slips out from the black curtains and the girls go in next. You're excited, you've always wanted to use one of these. Your friends had shown you the photos they got before and you always thought it was cool. As you wait you're almost bouncing in your spot, so ready to go in.

The girls could not come out any sooner and you draw Lawrence in with you.

There's little space for the behemoth of a man and you, but with careful positioning the two of you manage well enough. The screen in front of you gives a small variety of options for your photo theme.

"Ah...um here, this looks pretty." You choose the winter theme and are greeted with a giant count down.

"Oh ah...pose, we have to pose!" It's about to go off-"

As you're trying to get ready the first picture snaps. You quickly turn and prepare yourself for the rest. Five pictures in total, printed off on a long black-and-white roll. You rush to pick them up, looking at the photos.

The first one, it looks like neither of you were ready, you just have a surprised look. The next few you think you look pretty cute in, despite the last one having Lawrence give you bunny ears. You make sure to show him the pictures before carefully placing them in the middle of your book.

It's about mid-afternoon. There's still some time before the play tonight. Where would you like to go next?
You think that maybe the art gallery would be a good idea, something that Lawrence will enjoy. The building is fairly small compared to the others, large glass covering the front so you can get a glimpse inside. There's a sign displaying the current artist, but you don't recognize it.
Inside, the walls are covered in an assortment on paintings and drawings done with different mediums. You take the time to walk down and look at each one carefully.

"Hey, this is that one old bank...um the one by that huge library downtown. I recognize the front door, it's huge. Are all these paintings places done here?" Lawrence nods and you decide to pay even more attention, to see if you can recognize more locations.

A park in the early morning, a couple walking in the distance. There's huge trees in the frame, you don't think you've been there before.

And this one...this is one of the few sky scrapers the city has. You can just see the letters of the building poking out from the top. Rather then focusing on the building it looks to be more about the old man walking down the street. His clothes look like they may have been nice once but just like him they have been worn down with age.

This one looks like it takes place by a garden, maybe a community garden? There's a tall wooden fence but there's an open gate and there are shadows of people coming and going.

And then this one...

...

It's a woman, standing on the guard rail of the bridge that leads out of town. Late at night, you can see the bleak night sky and the vivid water. From the way he made it look, you feel like it would have been more appealing to jump in the water instead. Oh...no wait...that is what she is about to do...isn't it? This woman, who's face you can't even see, is about to jump. Yet...it looks like she's holding on to the bridge for desperate support. Maybe....she's still thinking about if she wants to go through with it or not?

You look back at Lawrence, he's looking at this painting for a grimace. This could have just as easily been him.
[1/?]
"I'm glad that...you chased me for as long as you did." It feels like it's the only words you can offer, but he takes them with a small sideways grin.

"Have you ever wanted your stuff in a gallery?" You ask this as you reach near the end of the exhibits. Lawrence shakes his head no.

"Eh? Why not? You're good! You could totally have your own show!"

Lawrence is taking this by looking away as you say this.
"I'm for real! I'm sure people would love to see them! It might take a while to make this many, but you should try. What if you become like...famous?"

That's the part that gets me. Even if it's positive attention I feel like I would just freeze up. I've never been good at being near the center of attention. Watching people look at my stuff might give me a damn heart attack.

"Aw, so you're scared of heights and have stage fright?"

Lawrence's subsequent bullying makes you have to take the time to fix your hair back to presentable again before the two of you leave.

"Eh, I was trying to be nice and this is what you do?" You're still trying to flatten out the mess that is your wavy locks. Lawrence looks content with his actions.

"F-fine....I want to go in there then." You point at the clothing store. Everything is that light gray color, and the writing on the window is some foreign words you could never hope to pronounce written in silver letters.

Inside you can see that, compared to a department store, there isn't as many selections to choose from. It still feels nice to explore, looking at all the nice clothes. The dresses, the skirts, the cute shirts with a ridiculous price tag, the...why is the underwear so fancy looking? You can't help but want to take a look. Frills and bows adorn many of the sets but they don't look kiddish, they actually look pretty. Many of them have matching bras that look just as nice.

"Heh...why would anyone put so much effort into making panties look pretty like this? Who would see it?" You turn to ask Lawrence, but you can see he is doing his best to keep his eyes averted from any of it. As you look back at the white set in front of you, they remind you somewhat of a wedding dress.
[2/3]
Going through the clothes, you can't help but want to stop at the glass display cases. Different jewelry rests in velvet spaces, shinning in that eye catching way. Even if they aren't your style you go down looking at the necklaces, the bracelets, the earrings, the rings-

The rings are just...so lovely looking. The bigger more adorned ones don't hold your interest as much, but you can't help but become attracted to one ring in particular. A thin gold band, this one has a bright red jewel set in the middle but you wouldn't be able to notice it unless you were up close. Maybe it's just the simplicity of it, but you can't help but think about how nice it could look.

"Look how pretty it is..." You say to Lawrence, pointing your chosen one out.

"May I help you?" A well dressed woman comes up to the counter, a lipstick smile on her face.

"Ah! No I'm sorry I was just looking..." You back away a bit, feeling a disconnect with the store. You aren't dressed to be in here, it must look so odd. You decide it would be best to head out of here now.

The sun has begun to set and people are gathering around the stage area. You decide it might be nice to go watch whatever it is they are doing, feeling better about choosing to do something that is free instead.

There are a rows of chairs set out, most of the ones near the front taken up by parents with their children. The back is relatively free, and you manage to find a spot that still allows you to view the stage. The nativity scene that had been there earlier has been pushed aside, and it looks like they might begin in about ten minutes.

Is there anything you would like to talk about before the play?
"I um..." You speak up suddenly. "I was in a play once, when I was really little. I don't even remember the name of it now but...I do remember that they made me play one of the bad characters. I had to help the evil queen or something like that. I remember thinking how weird it was that I had to play someone like that."

As you say this there is a slight smile on your face, partially from nostalgia and partially from how you remember something so...silly like that. You look down at your feet, your boots against grass buried under trampled snow.

"I...I also just wanted to say..." It's not so much that you're embarrassed to be thankful for this but rather how you're going to say it to him. You want him to really hear you, to understand each word you're going to say. It might seem weird, but you put a hand on top of his to make sure you have his attention.

"I hope it didn't seem like I didn't want to do this or something, I...I've really enjoyed it. It feels weird being treated like this again...so nicely."

You watch as the rigs on the stage warm up and begin to shine their light.

"And I...I hope that I can do something like this again. I hope I can come back to the Plaza and have fun like this again. I hope I can go other places too, and just...just enjoy it. I want to be able to have days like this over and over again...I'm sure most people do." Your voice falters a bit as you put your last sentence in before the announcer comes up.

"But I need to deal with everything first...I need things to become normal..."

...

It's a Christmas play, put on by a local church. Mainly children play the roles, a few of them are your age. You can see that some of them are nervous and reading their lines from a script, but that doesn't take away from your enjoyment. There are even a few parts where you found yourself laughing. Just a simple story of some kids getting ready for Christmas, yet it makes you feel that weird mixture of warmth and sorrow. Once it's over a pastor comes up and offers a short sermon. You stay and listen to his words, talking about Christmas. When everything is wrapped up, the sun has been replaced by stars and the sliver of moon.

You and Lawrence walk away, your hands shoved into your pockets and watching your breath in the air. As you are walking to the bus station you can see in the distance the bridge, illuminated by its many lights and the cars passing over. It looks beautiful, splashed against the starry sky, but you can't help but remember the painting of the woman. Did she end up jumping?

Would...would Lawrence really have?

You're still starring over at the bridge when a note is handed to you.

Think carefully about this, I beg you.

What do you plan to do if you go to see Bower?
"I want to know about what's wrong with me...as much as I can get of course." As you think about it you feel the knot in your stomach twists further as terrible thoughts come up.

"I...I still have these feelings about...about wanting to hurt him too. To make him feel pain like I have but...those thoughts scare me. They're still there though...deep down inside."

You're speaking softly, to keep the conversation quiet among the many people around you waiting for the buses. Many of them are the families from the Plaza, waiting to go and continue their happy lives, and here you stand with such awful thoughts.

Lawrence lights up a cigarette and sighs out the smoke. You say nothing more and the bus rolls up. In your seat you clutch to the bag you have. Today was fun, but who knows when you will get to experience something like this again? Or if you ever will again.

You look out the window the entire ride back. Dark streets and neon signs pass by, as do the lively people outside. These things pass by all too soon, and you instead pass by houses decorated in Christmas lights and decorations. That's right...most people are enjoying this time for the holidays, while you sit here with the sickening feelings in your stomach.

The walk up the hill to grandmother's house has never been more difficult. Once you're back, that means you have to go back to what you were doing before, back to getting information, back to...
You and Lawrence didn't say a word to each other the whole ride, and from what you can tell he was thinking the entire time. Are his thoughts about the situation similar to yours.

Without a key, you have to knock on the door till your grandmother arrives. Sunset was almost four hours ago, which means you're late. She must be asleep-

You are surprised by how quickly she opens the door, and more so by the worried look on her face.

"Delilah! Do you know what time it is? I've been waiting!" She practically pulls you inside, her voice a scolding tone. The door is almost slammed on Lawrence, who she lets in begrudgingly.

"I-I'm sorry...we just got caught up at the Plaza..."

"You shouldn't be out after dark like that! I shouldn't have let you out...don't you understand how worried I was?"

"You should have been this worried when you turned me away..." You don't mean to sound so harsh, but this sudden concern annoys you a bit. Grandmother looks like you have just struck her with your words, letting go of you.

"I'm sorry about that...but I'm fine. I promise. I was with Lawrence the whole time, he...he wouldn't let anything bad happen to me."

The look your grandmother has is...you aren't sure how to describe it. There's a scowl on her face, but when her eyes fall on you they soften.
"As...as long as you're home safe..." She says this, but it sounds like she's forcing it out. You can understand part of her concern, even if it is a little annoying to be...babied? You still are just a teen so this kind of concern should be normal, but after all that you been through...
"I suppose I can go to bed now that you're home. It's much past my bedtime." You notice that your grandmother refuses to look or talk to Lawrence. Maybe it's a bit awkward to have him here...?

"You did sleep in your father's room, right? When I went inside this morning after you left it didn't look like anything had been touched."

"Ah...y-yes, I know how you like to keep things tidy so I tried to keep it this way..." You lie through your teeth. You aren't sure if she buys it, but your grandmother says nothing more on the subject. Instead, she offers you a good night and goes to her room. Once the door shuts you sigh a breath of relief, you were afraid it would be much worse. Maybe she's being so much nicer to you because of everything?

You shower in the bathroom, and discover that your grandmother has set a bag of clothes inside. A nightgown and two changes of clothes are inside, which you are glad to exchange for your dirty ones. It feels a little weird wearing one again, but once you have cleaned up you don the nightgown. It's almost like you're home again.

Back in the guest bedroom, you can see Lawrence is in the middle of writing. You sit on the bed and brush your drying hair as he finishes his thoughts.

You were talking about how you have those feelings of wanting to get back at the people who hurt you, to make them feel pain too. I understand that, to want revenge on someone who did you wrong.

But there's something you need to realize. Even if they did you wrong, if you just go in and hurt them, then you won't be applauded as a hero. What evidence do you have against them? Even if you could pin the crime on them, do you think the law would just give you a slap on a wrist? Even though they hurt you so badly, if you blindly went in for revenge then you're going to end up in a worse position. They will march you out on trial, and there will be people who will testify against you, calling your crimes thoughtless and heartless. They will try to paint you as a monster, and there's a chance they would succeed. Then, instead of justice, you will end up suffering more.

These words weigh heavily as you read them. Isn't the justice system supposed to help the innocent?
[2/3]
There's always the option to run, but then what? You will be forced to run forever. You will never get to stop, get your life together, find a nice husband and start a family. All those dreams you had will be gone for good.

I went in and took my own justice blindly, and look where I am now.

It's a lot for you to think about, you aren't sure what to say.

I'm sorry if all this has spooked you, I just want you to realize the choices you are going to be making. But, don't think about it anymore. I feel bad for bringing down your mood today.

Lawrence scratches at his head awkwardly as you read this one.

Is there anything you want to say or do before going to sleep?
The note in your hands crinkles as your hands shake a bit.

"I understand..." You swallow your grief. "You're...you're right. It doesn't s-stop those feelings inside of me...but it wouldn't be smart to run in like that..."

You hand the notebook back to him with a quiet somberness, and remember the bed in the other room.

"Ah...I-I'll be right back..." You dash out, hoping Lawrence doesn't see that you were getting a little teary eyed. Walking down the hall you wipe your eyes, opening the door to where you are supposed to be sleeping. It doesn't look exactly the same as when he used to live here, but it still breathes your father. Pictures adorn the walls of him, from the day he was born to ones that even have you in them. Old sports posters take up some of the space, as do the awards and trophies he had earned from school.

It really does make you uncomfortable seeing him all over.

You hurry to the bed, yanking the blanket off just so you can make the bed in the best way you can. Of course, you could never get it as perfect as grandma wants, but it will at least convince her otherwise. As you pick up the pillow to frump up, you look up and are greeted with a smiling photo of your father from high school. Just barely, you can see a reflection of yourself in him.

Soon you leave him and return to the guest room. You crawl into the sheets and with the nightgown you have a strange sense of...of just being clean. Lawrence must be showering, so you just lay back and look at the ceiling, listening to the monotonous sound of the clock. From today's events you feel tired, but in a way you usually would. Not in that strange emotional way that you have almost gotten use to.

Lawrence comes back in, wet haired and in his pants and undershirt. You sit up and smile a bit in an effort to show that you aren't focusing on the conversation from earlier.

"Since you uh...took me to the Plaza and all...." You can feel a cheeky smile on your face. "Does this mean I have to give you a goodnight kiss?"

Your smile is smothered by a pillow as it is pushed down on you. You can't help but laugh a bit as you try to get away from the bullying.
Some time later, after Lawrence is finished being mean to you, you're laying on your side again facing him as he lays back on top of the covers. He's facing away from you again, attempting to put as much space between the two of you as possible. You press your chilly hands against his warm back and whisper.

"Thanks again for taking me out like that...it really was fun. I'm...I'm really glad I got to do something for once that wasn't just..." You bite your lip instead of finishing your sentence. Surprisingly Lawrence moves to his back, looking at you. In the dark, your eyes have adjusted just enough to see his face, a sad but warm smile on his face.

"Eh...you really need to trim..." You say as you poke at the whiskers on his face and Lawrence only offers a shrug at this. Your eyes trail down and you can see a glimpse of the scars on his neck and his bruises still trying to heal. You keep poking at his hair as you feel your eyes finally close.

Tonight, you have a nice dream. What was it about?
You dream of a rabbit again, running down a dark forest with a starving pack of wolves giving chase behind. The run stops when she is pushed to the edge of a cliff, forced to choose between jumping into either angry jaws or the unforgiving rocks and waves below.

But tonight, the bunny doesn't meet a gruesome end. Before the white fur is ripped apart between teeth or stones all the wolves turn and run. A bear has scared them off, with his bigger jaws and his matted scarred looks. He doesn't try to take the rabbit for his own though, and despite his appearance and size she shows no fear. While running around his legs the bear almost steps on the much smaller animal, and from there keeps trying to push the rabbit away. No matter how much he growls or tries to scare her off, she knows that it's only for show. Despite her attempts to make the bear happy and show her gratitude for being helped, he continues to try and push her away in fear of hurting her. The bunny can see that all the other animals are afraid of the bear and that he is lonely because of this, and so she keeps trying. Eventually, the rabbit feels bad because she can't help him just right and cries alone. The bear hears her and finally approaches her and despite his big paws and sharp claws he manages to put her on his back to carry her away from the dark forest, to somewhere happier where she doesn't have to worry about the wolves any longer. Ehe...that's a little funny...now there's a motorcycle on the road passing by the forest. A man is driving and there's a woman clinging to his back, it kinda looks like-

You wake up, laying alone in the middle of bed. Looking around, you are greeted with faces...your father's photos. Why are you in your dad's room? From downstairs the smell of breakfast and your grandmother's voice waft up, and you are quick to head down the stairs. From the steps you can see into the kitchen. It looks like your grandmother and Lawrence are sharing a pot of coffee, and while you wouldn't say your grandmother looks happy...

She is civil and friendly...friendly enough. Glancing up, she spots you standing there.
"Ah! Delilah! Go get some real clothes on! It's unfit for you to be in sleeping clothes in front of your friend here!"

You suddenly feel flustered by her mild scolding and only offer a quick 'Yes ma'am' before rushing up to get dressed. You put on the new clothes your grandmother bought, a long sleeve knit shirt and a thick long skirt that you wear with a pair of leggings. Presentable now, you rush back down the stairs, trying to smooth out your bedhead.

At the table, you can see there is a plate with french-toast and fruit ready for you. You don't say a word as your grandmother and Lawrence converse between you. It feels...weird. From what you can tell they are just talking about the Plaza or something. Your grandmother asks you about your time yesterday and you are quick to tell her it was fine and about some of the places you went. The phone from her bedroom rings and she excuses herself to go answer it, the door closed behind her. It might be a good time to plan what you are going to do today.

What do you talk about?
Making sure she's out of range, you look at Lawrence confused as he drinks his coffee.
"What was that...? Grandma isn't usually to uh...nice...with new people. I figured she was waiting to throw you out cause you're...y'know...kinda a hobo..." You shrug when Lawrence throws some shade at you for the last part.

I came down and she was trying to wind up the grandfather clock in the living room. I gave her a hand, and then helped her with the other chores around the place. Light bulbs, fixing the kitchen drain, stuff like that.

That's right, she probably would have trouble with handiwork around the house now. You remember mention that she had something like arthritis when you were younger, it probably has gotten worse with time.

You pick at the toast with your fork, a blueberry rolling away.

"Did you...put me in dad's room last night? Why did you do that?"

You play with your food more then eating it right now as you are given your answer.

Are you kidding? You get so clingy when you sleep, it felt like I was going to end up suffocated. You sleep like a rock, I probably could have dropped you and you'd never notice.

It feels like this isn't the actual reason, but you are also pretty sure he wouldn't tell you why right now anyways. Instead you start to eat the strawberries.

"We should probably stop by the school first, check in there. Then...then we should head out to...'there'."

Lawrence nods and you finish your breakfast. As you get up to wash your plate your grandmother returns, her face pale.

"Ah...I'm sorry but I need to go out again toda-"

"That's fine. I have business to attend to right now." She goes and grabs her giant bag of a purse, her sudden movements odd for her.

"Is...something wrong?"

"No no no...just...you should go." She stops and comes up to you, hands on your shoulder.

"Delilah, listen carefully to me. If you come back here and see a car, do not come up here. Have Lawrence take you away."

"Why?"
"It shouldn't be a problem...but in case it is...I will explain next time you come by but absolutely do not try to come in if there's a car here, alright? Go grab your coat."

She waits for you at the bottom of the stairs as you come back down, slipping on the coat. Suddenly she begins to push you out, Lawrence jumps up to follow.

"G-grandma..."

"I'm sorry Delilah, just be safe for now. Here, take this..." From her purse she takes out a roll of cash and slips it into your hands before shutting the door on you. Looking down, you can see that it is a small bundle of twenties. Neither you or Lawrence understand what is going on, and you decide it would probably be for the best if you hurry to the school.

On the way this time, you notice that once the nice neighborhood stops, everything after take a severe drop in quality.

At the school Lawrence is immediately taken aside by Sam, away from where you can hear. He seems to be talking to him about something serious, but it would probably be best to wait till they are done before interrupting. Looking around, you can see everyone is here except the man or Claire. John seems to be taking care of her baby again.

What would you like to do?
You find Jessica standing with Mabel and fill in what you have missed with them. They're standing by the hallway, looking like they're discussing something but their attention goes full force on you as you come up to them.

"Jesus, where have you been?" Jessica nearly knocks you down as she rushes over, Mabel following in tote. It's now that you notice that you don't see Aria around either.

"I just...I stayed with my grandma for a few days...Lawrence was with me...I'm sorry for now telling you...I hadn't really planned on it either..."

"It's...well I mean you're fine, so it's fine. We're used to Lawrence just kinda disappearing for days but after the first night.." Jessica seems both concerned and relieved.

"I'm sorry guys. I really am, I just...been trying to figure stuff out. I might still be just...kinda coming and going."

"Well listen, you just...jeez you just gotta be careful, alright chick?" Mabel butts in and Jessica nods.

"Did...did something happen?"

"I don't know how serious it actually is, I don't want to scare you or nothin'." Mabel's face is in a worried state, as if she isn't sure if she should tell you or not.

"What is it?"

"Well...me 'n' Aria went out to get food yesterday, just stopped at one of the convenience stores. When we started walking back some dude in a car with dark windows just...just started following us. It took an hour of walking around to lose him but after what happened at Good Hope...just, be careful out there. We still don't know what that was about..." You listen carefully to Mabel's words. A car with dark windows...

"Eh...w-where's Aria at?"

"She's been trying to help Sam with Claire. She's not doing the best right now. He moved her to one of the other rooms for now." Jessica answers your question, her eyebrows bent in worry.

"What's wrong with her?"

"No clue...she's tryin' to keep her spirits up but I don't know if her body will..." Jessica looks back to one of the doors, probably the one she's in.

"John has been takin' care of the kid for now. Never figured him to be a family kinda guy, but he hasn't complained." Mabel points over at him. "I don't think whatever Claire has is contagious and it looks like her baby might be fine for now."

"How awful..."

"You're tellin' me-" A crash comes from the room and Mabel runs back inside, Sam is quick to follow behind. The door shuts to keep the scene inside hidden away, leaving you and Jessica.

"Oh dear..." Jessica looks even more worried now.

"Do..do you think they're okay in there?"

"I dunno...I'll see what I can figure out and keep you updated though, alright? I need to make sure the kids are keeping quiet, they need to be able to concentrate. Lemme know if you need anything." Jessica waves at you as she bounces off.

Mabel, Aria, and Sam are in the classroom with Claire. What do you do now?
You meet up with Lawrence, who's already writing.

"Are you going to tell me what Sam said?" You whisper and he nods.

He was letting me know that Claire isn't looking too good. Sam was talking about the options if she gets worse. We won't let her die, but that may mean taking her to a hospital. It'll ruin her even more financially though, and if they deem her unfit they may try to take the baby away and put it up in foster homes. If she does go we can keep the baby here, but then that means a newborn with out a mom. If we keep her here and she continues to get worse though then we may have another dead body on our hands.

"Oh jeez..." You look over as John is comforting the whimpering Cecilia.

If I remember correctly, the birthing process was pretty hard on her. I think it was a breech birth, or something about the umbilical cord getting wrapped up wrong. I don't think that's all that's wrong with her, but it didn't help her any.

"Is there...anything we should do?"

You need to stay back from her. Sam mentioned that there was some bleeding involved, but he had to go back and help before he could elaborate.

"Y-Yeah...it would probably be pretty b-bad if I had gone back there..." You're upset that you have to be so careful now.

"Ah...by the way...Mabel mentioned that her and Aria were followed by a car yesterday...do you think it would have anything to do with what William had mentioned?" You decide to change the subject.

I don't know. If it's just a car it might not be something to get too worked up about. If you go around telling people it might cause more stress then needed, get everyone all worked up over nothing. I'll mention it to Sam and John, but I wouldn't recommend fanning any unnecessary flames.

"Alright...I just don't want everyone to have to move again."

Mabel and Aria don't really stick out as looking 'homeless', they keep themselves up pretty well. If anything it might have been a guy looking to score a thr-the rest of this is too scribbled out for you to read

We'll keep an eye out and be careful when coming and going.

Now, what do you want to do?
"We should head out now...go see Bower. I'm ready." Your voice wavers on the last word, but you keep your face straight. It's time for you to be strong, to get through this, no matter how difficult it is. Something like the bat might bring more problems then it's worth, but you still keep your pockets full. Money, pepper-spray, and the knife. Bundle up, keep your face and hair hidden away, jacket buttoned up all the way. You pull out the list you made and point out Bower's address.

"I have no clue where this is...do you?" Lawrence takes the page and looks closer at the writing and he begins to mentally map. There's a sinking feeling when his face turns sour as he nods.

Sleazy ass part of town, unfortunately. During the day it's usually fine, but at night that's when all the scumbags crawl out. Whatever you do, stay close to me when we get there, don't run off no matter what, understand?

"I was planning to do that already, but thanks for the warning. Are you taking...those?" To answer your question Lawrence pat his coat pocket, a thudding noise beneath his fingers. You take extra care when leaving the school, taking a note of any nearby vehicles. Maybe it was just a creep following them...
For the first hour and a half, you two walk through familiar enough territory. Apartment blocks that you feel comfortable enough walking down, not really wealthy but they look safe enough. The small shopping district after, a community center paired with it across the road. Any spot for grass is covered with cold concrete, but nothing awful. There are a few more apartment complexes and even a few small houses here and there, but you wonder if Lawrence was just overreacting or remembering incorrectly. It's when you hit the next rows of shopping areas that you notice the slight shift. Cheap looking liquor stores, electronic shops with bars over the windows, a vandalized store front with slurs you don't understand. A man much too thin to be healthy and shaky with each step comes in your direction, but Lawrence grabs your hand and pulls you past him. The change from there is much less subtle. Posters will scantily clad women adorn brick walls, advertising for special 'shows'. Large and gaudy neon signs start leading the front of more and more buildings, but with them turned off in the daytime it's hard to see what they are advertising. The people you pass by are much rougher looking before, and you doubt it's because any of them are homeless. Harsh words pass by as you walk, it sounds like there might be a fight down an alley, the apartments built above the businesses are cheaper and look like they could break down at the slightest touch. When you see an empty glass bottle break against one across the street, you learn that they have probably stood up to plenty of abuse.

The entire time Lawrence keeps a firm hold on your hand, pulling you to the other side or in front of him when needed. At least one man calls out to him, but you doubt that he actually knows Lawrence. Still you are dutifully led through the hellish scenes.

Bower's business is on the edge of all this, a big road separating his pristine white building from the dirty underbelly. You can see there are more buildings after his, ones that are probably a bit more...respectable, then the ones you have just passed. Lawrence stops before you cross the road, keeping a hold of your hand as he writes with the other one.

How do you want to approach this?
Just looking at the building, knowing who may inside...
Scares the living hell out of you.
From the note you look back up at the place, your hand shaking with an uncontrollable shiver. He's going to be in there, he's going to be in there waiting for you. Bower is bound to remember you, bound to remember the things he's done, remember the way he took advantage of your body while there was nothing you could do to stop it for so long.
[i]We don't have to do this, you don't look ready yet. We can go back.[/i]
"N-....no....no no no..." You try to steady yourself. "I...n-need to s-s-see him..."
[i]This can't be good for you, there's no shame in trying later.[/i]
"I h-have to do this...I h-have to..."
You don't want to.
"L-....l-lead the w-way and I'll f-follow behind y-you...w-we can just see if h-h-he is here..." You sound like a child right now, but you can't stop yourself. Lawrence looks down at you with a look that says 'you're not okay, this is not okay'. Instead of trying to stop you, he squeezes your hand tightly. You pull your hat down lower in an attempt to hide your face and the tears threatening to fall.
Cars are continuously passing the road and it takes a good amount of time to let an opportunity to cross. Every step you take to carry you closer just causes your heart to feel like it may explode at any moment, that there are stones being thrown into your stomach. You feel sick, you feel scared, your head hurts, you don't want to do this. As you stand on the sidewalk outside the building, large windows allow you to see in. There's a front desk, a lady working the phones. You see a few other people walking in the background, not many. They look to be mostly employees, maybe a patient or two. No Bower though.
"L-...let's just s-see if he's h-here first...t-then we can come back out and f-figure out what to d-do from th-there..."
A squeeze of your hand and the chime of a door opening. The woman smiles as you come in, though she makes you wait while she finishes the conversation on the phone.
"Ah, sorry about the wait! How may I help you?" Her eyes glance from Lawrence to you. You try to speak up, to ask if Bower is in, but your voice is caught in your throat. You can't focus right now...
You just stand there, slightly behind Lawrence, as he writes.
"Dr. Bower? I'm afraid he's out to lunch right now, but he should be coming back at any moment. If you like, I can set up a consultation for when he comes back, he loves meeting with patients."
[b]What would you like to do?[/b]
You press against Lawrence's back and nod at him to continue, not letting go of his arm.

"Alright then, I'll just need a name...alright....now let me put you in...okay! Dr. Bower will be with you after he comes back Mr. Talbot." The receptionist smiles at you and motions to the waiting area. You keep a close grip on his arm as you go to sit down. Nice chairs in a semi secluded area, you sit so you can see whoever comes in through the door. You let go of his arm even though you really don't want to. In response Lawrence pulls it around your shoulder, acting like a shield from your unseen fear. You allow this, the closeness comforting even though the rest of you is full of fear.

[i]We can always leave when you want.[/i]

You nod but keep quiet, scared to speak up, as if you're afraid Bower has ears in the walls. A radio plays music from above you, some generic waiting room sounds. Every time someone passes by the door, your heart catches in your throat. You hug yourself, attempting to keep your body as small as possible. You're just begging to get swallowed up, to be taken away from here.

When is he going to come in...when is he going to walk through those doors...just...just calm down...prepare yourself for this...it...it'll be okay...you have someone here to help...Lawrence is here to help...stop shaking...stop it...

"Oh, welcome back Doctor!" You hear the receptionist and a door open from the back. "How was your lunch?"

"Oh good good, took the missus out. Does she have an appetite, let me tell you." There's the sound of gruff laughing and you freeze up again.

"Ah, by the way. You have a consultation waiting right now."

"Great! Just send them to my office and I will meet them in there!"

You hear the man, Bower, walking away. He came in through the back...

The receptionist comes up to where you two are waiting, that warm smile still on her face.

"Dr. Bower is ready to see you now, if you want to come this way."

[b]What do you do?[/b]
Lawrence is looking down at you, waiting for your answer. It feels like your chest will just explode at any moment, that you're going to just die right there. You can't understand why you shake your head 'yes', even Lawrence can see this is a bad idea. Your legs are knocking together as you stand, though you're only able to stay upright because you are desperately gripping to Lawrence's side. He almost has to carry you as your led down the small hallway, pictures of the man who raped you on the wall smiling with different doctors and patients. He's all around you, ready to pounce.
"If you just wait in here, the doctor will be in a moment." The lady offers you another smile, but of course you can't return it. How could she work for someone so awful like Bower and keep that happy look on her face. When you don't return her hospitality her face falters a bit, the slight shimmer of pity replacing her smile.
Lawrence walks you into the room and the door closes behind you. There are three chairs seated in front of a heavy wooden desk covered in files and papers, a big phone on the corner. A picture frame shows the image of a happy Bower and a woman about his age smiling with neon lights in the background. Big shelves fill up most of the empty walls, books and folders crammed inside.
If this man hadn't fucked you then it would feel like a normal office.
You both remain standing and your grip on Lawrence only increases, your body shaking badly.
The sound of two people conversing outside the door break the silence. It sounds like a woman and....and Bower...from what you can tell they are just discussing another patient or something.
God, you are terrified.
He's about to come in here. That terrible awful man is about to come face to face with you.
You hear him laughing, your grip on Lawrence must be hurting at this point, it's like you're hanging on to him for dear life.
[b]What do you want to say to Lawrence before Bower comes in?[/b]
You attempt to speak up, to say something to Lawrence, anything at this point. This was a bad idea, you need to turn, you need to go, you need t-

The door behinds you swings open and it feels like your soul drops through the floor.

"Ah yes, Mr. Talbot? You're my current consultation?" Bower comes up, closing the door behind him, and Lawrence quickly slides you behind him. The doctor has a hand out for a greeting, Lawrence returns it but there is a death glare radiating from his eyes.

"Eh...strong grip you got there sonny..." Bower's pulls his hand away and tries to look at you. "Brought the missus out with you too, huh? Well what a trip to take, here at my humble office."

Bower's continues to his desk. You can see a large bandage covering the back of his balding head...that's right...from the result of your vase. He plops himself down in the big chair behind the desk, gesturing at the two of you to sit. Lawrence remains standing and so do you. You can barely hear the man's words over the beating in your ears...the pounding in your head...the sickness in your stomach...

"Quiet pair, aren't you?" Even though Lawrence is shielding you away, the eyes of Bower feel like they are absolutely burning into your very being.

"Well, I can't offer any advice till I know what's wrong with you. Heck, I don't even know for sure which one I'm supposed to be working on...is it you, little girl?"

You want to throw up.

"Why don't you show me your face? I'm sure it's very pretty, but I'm sure I could make it even prettier...Delilah."

Bile rises in your mouth and the ground below you begins to spin. You can feel Lawrence tensing up, his fist balling up tightly.

"Do you think I could forget a girl as pretty as yourself? I know you don't remember most of it, but we even spent those wonderful couple of weeks together."

You start to back up as he speaks, his wrinkled blue eyes starring directly at you. Lawrence tries to pull you towards him, but you just...you can't...
"I really wish our last night together had gone better though. I really do, you left me with a nasty cut you know. Took me a couple stitches, but don't you worry about it. Forgive and forget, right? Though, I don't know if I could forgive you breaking the nice vase I brought you. I figured a girl like you would love to wake up to flowers, even if they were plastic. "

Into a corner...don't throw up...don't...fuck...fuck...stop looking...stop looking with those hungry eyes...

Lawrence has rushed to Bower's desk, his hand at his collar pulling him out of his seat. Bower looks surprised by this action but there's no fear to be found in his face.

"Big fellow, aren't you? Well this behavior in my office will not stand..."

Z A P

You see a flash of a white blue and Bower's hand against Lawrence's stomach. You can only watch as your friend bends over a bit, gritting his teeth and attempting to keep his hold. Another flash of light, this time lasting much longer. As seconds pass Lawrence releases his grip, backing away and gripping his stomach, stumbling to a knee. The loud zapping noise fills the room as he is once again hit with the stun gun, this time to his back.

Oh god...oh god is it going to kill him...?

Bower finally pulls away the gun and shows it off to you, Lawrence's body twitching on the floor as he tries and fails to rise.

"Pretty neat, isn't it? Had to carry one around with me when someone tried to get the keys to my car coming in to work one day. Never thought I would actually use it inside. Or that you would come back to me." Bower steps over Lawrence, coming over to you.

"D-Doctor? Are you alright? T-the door is locked..." The receptionist's voice calls out from behind the door, worry in her words.

"It's fine it's fine. Just had a little accident, no need to be concerned." Bower's answers for you, and you can hear the woman walking away.

What do you do?
Your eyes shift over to Lawrence as he is attempting to steady himself. It seems like he can't use his body properly, he keeps falling back down, unable to get proper footing. If...if you can just distract Bower enough...then Lawrence should be able to do something...anything...

Can you?

Yes...yes you need to do something...anything.

Lord, even if it's the smallest bit, take all of your luck and give it to your friend...and please forgive you for anything that may happen.

You slip your hand into the pocket of your jacket, tightly grasping the plastic cylinder. Remember how grandmother told you to use it...just wait for the right moment...

"Why...w-why me?" You don't know what answers you can get right now, but if anything you can get a distraction going.

"Ever since Don showed me those cute pictures of you..." Bower kneels down in front of you, a disgusting pudgy hand coming to grab your chin, a thumb dragging across your bottom lip. "I just knew that a pretty girl like you would fill my life with joy."

You can't stand to look at this man, you try to glance back at Lawrence without being obvious. He's managing to stand with the assistance of the desk, but his legs are still weak.

Jesus, he looks pissed.

You push Bower hard, toppling him to the ground. Before he can register what you have done, the spray is in your hand and a dark cloud choking him.

"YOU LITTLE BITCH!" He squeezes out the words, and Lawrence takes his chance. His arm wraps around Bower's thick neck, pulling hard, an intense anger and snarl on his face. Lawrence looks up at you, and his eyes soften, but only a bit. His grip on Bower loosens just enough to keep the man from suffocating. You need to get help now...you need to...

You scramble up to the door, unlocking it and swinging it wide open.

The young receptionist is waiting outside, holding a minuscule gun in her shaking hands.

"W-what's going on?" Her voice shakes as much as her hands, as she looks between you and the men behind you.

What do you do?
You can see that the gun is pointed at Lawrence...you can't let him get hurt anymore. The pepper spray remains in your hands, but you place yourself in the space between the barrel and Lawrence.

"Th-...this man...this...this pig...!" Anger begins to surge in your voice.

"He's...he's raped me. For two months he's h-hurt me and he's let others do the same...Are you really going to d-defend him?"

The woman looks confused, looking back at the crying and snotting Bower.

"Is...is this true...h-have you really b-been doing this d-doctor...?" The woman sounds close to tears, you can hear Bower still choking.

"It's true. T-this man is a monster..." You give an answer for him.

There's the look of extreme guilt and sorrow on the woman's face, but the gun is not lowered any.

"I'm...I'm so sorry a-about this..." The woman moves forward, she's going to get Bowe-

Her arm spins you around and wraps around your neck and shoulders, preventing you from moving. You can feel the cold barrel of the gun press up against your temple.

"Please...let the d-doctor g-go..." She's stuttering the entire time, as if she is being forced to do this.

"Wh-why are you?" You watch dismay as Lawrence begrudgingly releases his hold on Bower, the older man chocking and gasping for breath. The receptionist takes a few steps back, taking you with her.

"I'm...I'm so sorry...i-if anything happens to Dr. Bower...we'll all be out of a job...I finally got this after two y-years of unemployment..." The woman is sobbing but she doesn't release her hold on you or the gun. "I-If I let you do a-anything to him...then that means I'll l-lose my c-child again...the state will t-take him away a-again and I won't be a-able to g-get him b-back..."

Bower rushes to his feet, finding something to wash his eyes out with. Lawrence is standing, keeping a close eye on the gun, readying to move forward. You can hear Bower cursing as he tries to clean the pepper from his face.

What do you do?
"Please..." Your mind is racing full of things you could say to her. It doesn't seem like she is a bad person, just...just desperate.

"You're a mama...y-you just want to do whatever you c-can for your kid...my...my mom didn't treat me as well as you're trying to do...she...she let me get hurt b-by him...you'll be doing the s-same i-if you let him do this...'" Keep calm, you don't want to scare her, not with that gun anywhere near you.

"But y-you can't let him do this...w-what if it was your son getting hurt?" You can feel her body shift about as you say this, you need to appeal to her the best you can. There's a tightening in your stomach, and you think about how you can strike a cord.

"You have a b-baby...and because of that man there's one growing inside of me now." As these words leave your mouth there's a violent sob from the woman. She's still holding on, but her body is shaking badly, you fear that her trigger finger might accidentally...

"I...no...we all k-know Dr Bower h-has s-some...some t-terrible interests b-but..." The gun lowers away from you. "I had n-no idea it was...was this fucked up...God...what the hell is all of this..."

You look down the hall and can see the few other doctors are out, either looking away or watching the scene, all with guilt painted over their faces.

"Y-You...Mr. Talbot..." The woman points at Lawrence, gesturing for him to come over. He follows her command, walking over carefully, his hands held up, a careful eye on the gun. When he's close enough you are pushed into him and the woman steps out of the way. The gun is pointed in your direction again.

"Leave...leave now. I'm...fuck...I'm so sorry a-about what's happened to you b-but...I c-can't lose Jonathan. Not again." The woman looks like she might end up sick. She practically marches you out, leading you two through the backdoor. Before the door is closed in your face, you can see her mascara is running down her cheeks. She's a wreck as the door closes, and so are you as the two of you stand in the dirty alley behind the building.

What do you do?
You can only stare at the door keeping your attacker hidden away from you. There's hands on your shoulder, but you only buckle down as you can feel yourself trying not to sob.

"H-home...I...I just wanna go home..." Surprisingly, you aren't shaking, but it feels like everything else is crashing down. Lawrence pulls you towards the street, your feet dragging as you follow him. You pass by the parking lot for Bower's business, shoddy cars filling up the spots. You don't want to be out right now, you don't want to do anything but sleep.
Lawrence keeps a careful arm around your shoulder again, but even the simple act of walking is too tiring for you.

"Can you...just call a taxi or something...I don't care how much it costs..." You don't even look up as you ask this, pulling out a twenty from your pocket. Lawrence doesn't hesitate to try and flag one down, eventually getting you one after...you don't even care about how much time has passed. You just don't want to be awake any longer. You basically crawl into the cab's backseat, your head lolling against the dirty cover. Lawrence is there next to you of course, writing the address of the school down for the driver. You soon close your eyes for the ride, but you don't sleep. You want to, but not here. Your stupid head is hurting again...

Lawrence is the one who has to lead you carefully into the school. You feel like you couldn't care less about precautions. As soon as you go in, you drop into your blankets without a word to anyone else. You close your eyes, ready to shut out the world.

...

Everyone has tried to talk to you, tried to get you back up. During the first day, they let you sleep. The second day, Jessica tried to get you to come with her and the kids to shower. You didn't budge and barely gave an answer. Food brought to you began to pile up as you refused to eat. The third day, you kick and cry and scream as food is forced down your throat. Today you just lay in your blankets, eyes starring at the ceiling. Jessica has already tried coming around, asking for you to join her. Your silence served as an answer and you can tell she left with tears in her eyes. You're not even sure what part of the day it is now, you just know that if you were to die in your sleep, that would be okay.

Lawrence comes up to you slowly, taking a seat next to you. You don't give him any reaction at all, but you can hear him writing.

Is there anything you need?
You look down at Delilah's face. It's only been a few days, but Jesus...

You would say it looked like she has been dragged through hell and back, but that wouldn't be a far off description of what she has been through. You tuck that familiar surge of anger away deep inside, like you're used to, and try to keep a soft face around her.

"Please...leave me alone..." Delilah's voice is weak, but her answer is firm. Holding her down to feed her that first time was terrible, her crying to be let go broke your heart. You don't want it to happen again, but from the way she's looking and acting, you know damn well that's going to be the case.

You get up, taking one last look at her tiny frame. Delilah is bundled up in a heap of blankets, looking like at any moment she could be lost.

You might still lose her if she doesn't get better.

Heading over to Sam, you can see he's prepping the meal that Delilah will eat...be forced to eat. Supplements have been stirred into the warm oatmeal, in an attempt to keep her healthy.

"Well...do you think she's going to eat today?"

You shake your head no, and Sam grimaces. He already knew the answer though, and he hands you the bowl.

"Let's get it over with then."

Once again you're forced to hold down Delilah as the food is pushed down her throat. She's crying, kicking and screaming, but you are able to easily hold her down. God, she must hate you for this.

Eventually, you finish the awful deed and she is just laying on her back, spit at the edge of her mouth and tears rolling down her eyes. You recognize that broken look easily enough, something you have felt before. Sam waits around to make sure she isn't going to throw any of it up, but Delilah curls into a ball and sobs herself to sleep. Even though you're doing this to help her...

You feel like a monster.

Sam motions for you to follow him back to his workstation, where he keeps his supplies. Sitting in his chair he sighs and runs a hand over this thinning white hair.

"Christ...first Claire and now that poor girl...I don't know what we're going to do." You set the bowl down and take the chair in front of him.

"That pill...you know which one Lawrence, I should be able to get it soon. I don't know if that'll help her mental condition at all though."

You can only nod to show that you understand his grim words.

"For now, keep an eye out but let's not add anymore stress to her. If she...if she goes off anywhere alone, follow her. Stop her, understand?"

Of course you do, you understand perfectly well what Sam is implying.

Sam goes over his inventory, he's going to need to go and restock soon. You get up to take the bowl back to John, and Marilyn stops you on the way, tugging your pant leg.

"Lawrence..." She has such a pitiful look on her face, something Marilyn isn't known for. "Is...is Bunny going to be okay?"

Dammit...you know how you should answer this question, but at this point you aren't sure if it's the right thing.

You nod anyways, but Marilyn's face doesn't change.

"I hope so...I liked teasing her...and...and it would be sad if you were all alone again..." You can only watch as Marilyn walks back over to her grandfather, helping him with his count.

You bring the bowl to John, who takes it with a grim look on his face. It's impossible to ignore Delilah's screams, it feels like they pierce through the walls themselves.

"She'll get through this buddy..." John puts the bowl with the other dirty dishes. "You were pretty down when I brought ya in from outside...but...well she's a different case I suppose." You had told John what happened with Delilah, though he probably heard about it from elsewhere already. You offer him nothing and decide to give in to your addiction instead.

Outside by the tree, you light up a cigarette in the cold air. The stick droops down from your mouth as the smoke billows up to the air.

God...Delilah...

What do you do?

You breath in the smoke deeply, letting it drift out of your lungs slowly.

Everything is so fucked.

Why the hell did you let Delilah do all of that? She wasn't going to handle that well, no matter what the outcome was. Letting her see that man...that James Bower...

How fucking stupid of you.

Once again, you show off just how much of a fuck up you really are.

Shit, you're even tearing up. You aren't the one who came face to face with a man who raped you, this is you're fault that she's like this, don't you dare fucking feel pity for anyone else but Delilah.

You rub you eye in irritation, frustration....

Anger. Dammit, keep yourself in check.

The cigarette in your mouth quickly begins to turn into ash as you fill your lungs with the smoke. It burns the inside of your throat, but you put up with it anyways. The butt is thrown carelessly into the snow as you stomp back into the school.

As usual, you check in on Delilah. Her hair is a mess and despite being asleep once more, heavy dark circles are formed under her eyes. It's fucking depressing, seeing someone you once saw smiling and laughing in such a dreary state. Sometimes you sit by her, seeing if there's anything she needs. Of course she wants to be left alone, and you never push her but...

Fuck, what the hell are you supposed to do? Your hand begins to shake as you think about the pain she's in, but you shove it in your pocket. Count back...back from 100 like you're supposed to...

You have started counting back up by the time you get back into the classroom, the one you were supposed to finish the drawing of Delilah in. Pulling out the hidden drawing board, you take a look at your work.

Look how healthy and happy she looked in this, how she use to look...how could they take that away from her? Selfish pricks, letting someone as sweet as her get hurt like that...fuck...fuck...

You hide away the drawing again and make your way upstairs. The far down classroom has taken your abuse enough before, it should be fine taking it once more...

...

The splintered remain of a chair lays in front of you, your chest heaving as you catch your breath. You resort to this every time but you never really feel better afterwards.

You never do, yet you keep trying to let your anger out this way.

Leaning out of the cracked window, you remove another cigarette, your last one. You toss the empty pack behind you and allow this one to slowly burn between your lips this time. You watch as the ash falls from the cigarette and to the far ground below. You're going to need to get another pack soon. There's no less anger inside of you...
But it seems you have tamed that beast enough for now, enough to focus on the drawing. You go back down and set yourself up, the drawing showing you the ghost of the girl sleeping in the other room. As you color in the shirt's wrinkles, work on her delicate fingers, shade her blonde hair, you are just reminded further about how Delilah isn't like this now.

Regardless, you keep working. You only stop when the light from outside stops filling the room. There's still some work that needs to be done on this, but you'll burn yourself out at this rate.

What do you do?
It would be the best if you got ready for bed.

But when do you ever do what you're supposed to?

Back outside you go, to walk down the dark streets. Alone.

As soon as you step outside, you can see your breath forming in the air. It would be more satisfying if it was tar smoke leaving your lungs instead, you think this as you cough. On to the streets you go, walking down the gray cracked sidewalks with only the lights from street lamps to accompany you. You're use to these lonely walks, or you thought you were. Having someone once at your side only reminds you how big the sidewalk is now.

To the convenience store you go, the block it rest on much more lit up compared to where you came from. As you come up to the smudged glass door a man moves out of the way, averting his eyes to the ground. The usual, what do they expect? That's you're just going to reach out and hurt them?

You enter the store, flickering florescent lights showing off the limited stock inside. This visit was only for a pack of cigarettes, but your eyes catch on to the well stocked coolers lined up on the back wall.

At the counter, you have a bottle of whisky rung up and you point towards the cigarettes. The young man working the counter has seen you around before, and knows which brand you usually get.

Down the street you go again, whisky in your pocket and the pack of cigarettes in hand. You pull one out, forced to look at the face of the packaging.

Cowboy Sue's, the mascot a doofy looking caricature with a wide grin and a little hat to the side. Cheeky looking bastard...

The cigarette has fallen to ashes by the time you return to the school and your nicotine addiction should be fed till the morning. By instinct, as soon as you walk inside you check in at Delilah. It's alarming to see her and the blankets just...gone.

That's right...Sam talked about moving her. You go back to the classroom you have been drawing in, and sure enough you can see Delilah's nesting inside her swarm of blankets. Mabel is sitting in a chair beside her, arms folded and snoozing. You nudge her awake and point her out the door.
[1/?]

"Whuzat...you wanna take watch Law?" Mabel yawns widely and you nod. "'ight man, just...y'know...keep a good eye on her."

Mabel walks out of the room, but you can see that she's worried.

Not nearly as much as you must be.

Delilah remains sleeping as you open up the cheap whisky. It burns going down, but it's the only thing you got to take off the edge. The pangs of hunger hit your stomach, but you don't feel like moving. Instead, you attempt to fill the empty space with more liquor.

Dammit...just...dammit. What the hell are you supposed to do? You think back to the time when you were like this...back on the bus. It took something to snap you out of it, it took Delilah. What the hell could you possibly do for her now? Just keep forcing that whisky down...

You think back to the last time you saw her smiling, when she looked happy. The Plaza, the place you hoped would help her. Delilah had smiled so much that day, despite everything. You spent so much money there too, now you only have 35 bucks to your name. Fucking pathetic.

Delilah had wanted something there...you remember that. What was it...a ring, yeah? She was captivated by one...which one...fuck more whisky...

It was...it was pretty simple looking, actually. A band with just one stone inset inside of it. Wouldn't that fucking rock her world? How happy would something like that make her?

You don't have that money though, you fucking bum.

Still...if you could find a way to get that to her. If this was a movie, you would find a way to get it to her by Christmas in a few days.

If this were a movie, she would have found herself a proper hero. Instead, what is she stuck with? A man closer to playing the no name baddies in the background, only there to terrorize the heroine and to make the hero look good when he kills them.

She found and stuck you with despite everything she's been through. Delilah was worried that you would be afraid of her, instead of the other way around. Most people fear you, between your actions or the way you look, it doesn't help that you can't speak to no one either. It just makes you look like a fucking creep.

Yet, Delilah has stuck by you through it all.

How much have you drank so far? Too much.

There's a whimpering from her blankets and, nearly falling, you kneel down to check on her. Delilah is still asleep, just experiencing a terror only she can see in her dreams, and there is nothing you can do about it. Nearly collapsing, you take a seat beside her and stroke her hair till it stops. Michele use to do that for you when you guys were kids, whenever the other kids would send you home crying.

Ah...you're too drunk to focus on that kind of stuff. You lay on your back, next to Delilah, keeping just the right amount of distance away.

You fuck up, you absolute fuck up. She's like this, and it's because you let her be this way, how can you close your eyes and just sleep?

The alcohol, that's how.

What do you plan to do when you wake up?
Lawrence...

You're awake before the sun is up, but you can tell it's going to be out soon. Glancing over to your left, you can see that Delilah has barely moved from when you passed out.

What's worst, seeing her constantly asleep or those few moments when she's awake and hating it?

Fuck...you should not have drank as much as you did, your head is killing you and there's that familiar nauseousness in your stomach. Sitting up, you run a hand carefully over Delilah's forehead, moving her hair out of her face.

"Go-od...morn-ing..."

Of course doing this doesn't help her any, but you can't help but do it anyways, on that off chance that she might respond.

You rise to your feet, shaky and unstable, but isn't that how you usually feel? The bottle is still on the ground, you didn't even both to put the lid on.

Dammit, you really need to show some restraint. There's a little less then half of this cheap shit left.

...

Just a quick drink, to help stave off the headache. Hair of a dog. You should really buy the nicer stuff...

The door slowly creaks open and you see an exhausted Aria enter the room. She's been helping Sam with both girls, it's probably the most she's ever had to work.

"Oh...hey, Law." Aria yawns and kneels down beside Delilah, looking her over. "Slept all night?"

Yes.

"Hopefully...hopefully she gets to the day where she only sleeps at night..." Aria mulls over this thought. "Ah, I-I'm sorry, could you leave for a bit? I'm going to try and help her clean up...I'll try to get Mabel to help me but if she gets like...like she does when she eats, then we may need you to..."

You nod, but the thought of holding Delilah down to clean her up is a grim one. Leaving the room, Mabel gives you a quick greeting as she walks past you, a bucket of water and sponges in her hands.

Please just let them do this Delilah...no...get to the point where you want to do it yourself...get better....

You don't see John in his usual spot, you might to have a cigarette breakfast instead. When you step outside though John is leaning up against the school wall, his own cigarette in hand.

"Hey Law." The sound of your name is accompanied by a cloud of smoke. You decide to join him here, taking out your pack. Cigarette hanging out of your mouth, you struggle to find your lighter but John lights you up.
[1/2]
"You look like you're not doin' too well."

You inhale quickly, the end of your cigarette becoming a deep red and smoldering cherry. You're doubtful that John is talking about your missing lighter.

The two of you stand with backs against the crimson bricks, filling your lungs and letting the smoke rise to join the dark gray clouds that already fill the sky.

"You smell like alcohol, have you been drinking again?"

Your eyes stay towards the ground and you shrug, in a 'so what?' way.

"I'll make you some eggs but let's...let's not have a repeat of Good Hope. If I end up finding you passed out in the snow on Christmas eve again, you owe me big time buddy." John is trying to keep his voice positive, like how he usually acts. He's good at masking when something is upsetting, but that takes a toll on him. Those times when he just stares off in the distance, forgetting what he was just talking about.

"It would make that girl of yours sad too." John crushes the butt of his spent cigarette under his heel and heads back inside. You can feel your hands shake a bit at the thought of her.

...

You know it's rude of you, but instead of going back inside you take a walk to the bus station instead. You're going to do something useful, for the first time in your life, you're going to do something that's actually going to be helpful. You think about what you have on you. Thirty-five dirty bills, pack of smokes and a lighter, notebook and pen...your brass knuckle grazers...

Dammit...you have these different options floating around in your head...

Where should you go?
The Plaza...you can at least see how much it would cost. Maybe you can convince the person at the counter to give it to you for thirty bucks. Yeah, and maybe you're voice will magically come back.

On the bus ride, you sit alone. Even as the other seats around you fill up, the one next to you will stay empty. It always does.

Unapproachable

That's you, no matter how hard you try to fix it. Hell, Delilah wouldn't have stopped running if she hadn't needed you to save her.

Needed you

And you fucking love it. Even though it means that she has been afraid, constantly worried for her life...the way she clings to you for support...physically...emotionally...it means you're still useful for something. It's your life line, the one thing to keep you from closing your eyes and jumping into open water. She could have found support in anyone else, yet she sticks to the fuck up. And you take that trust and support for your own advantage, using it as a means to keep yourself going.

What's it going to be like when she doesn't need you anymore?

It'll be for the best. Delilah can go off and find herself some happiness, and you can let the world deal with your sorry ass.

...

You sure as hell don't look like you belong in such a pristine looking store, and the stale whisky on your breath doesn't help either. Still, you scan through the display, trying to find the one Delilah had been fascinated with. Where the hell is it...

"Ah, may I help you sir...?"

There's a well dressed woman behind the counter, a bit put off. Not that you aren't use to those reactions already. She flinches a bit as you rise back up, she probably didn't expect you to absolutely tower over her.

I'm looking for a ring that was here a few days ago. I think it was just a gold band with a red rock set in the center. It wasn't very big, did you still it?

"Gold band...I think, oh I think I know which one you're uh...talking about. It's last season's stock, we have it on clearance right now actually." She goes to another glass case, pulling out the black velvet display and bringing it over. There are an array of rings and earrings...wait, yeah...this was the one Delilah wanted.

You nod and point out the one.

"Let's see...this one, on sale, costs ah...three hundred dollars."

That is not thirty-five dollars. You thank her and walk out of the building. Thank God the sun isn't out right now, your head is already a mess right now. You take a secret swig of your whisky and shudder as it travels down.

What do you do now?
You aimlessly walk down the sidewalk, attempting to organize your thoughts. It suddenly hits you that Delilah's grandmother hasn't been caught up with what has been going on. Maybe if you let her know about her granddaughter's situation, then she will lend a hand. Before you head out her way you duck into the bathroom of a convenience store.

The sink fills up with water as you attempt to make yourself look presentable. Wash the dirt and grime from your face, ignore your scars, attempt to wash out the taste of death from your mouth. Looking back at the mirror, you stare at the man reflected back.

What a fucking loser

You need to save up all the cash you can, so walking is your mode of transport for now. The walk between the Plaza and her nice neighborhood is an easy one. This side of town somehow managed to keep it's nice wealthy appearance up, no pot holes in the road or abandoned buildings. The houses closest to the Plaza aren't nearly as wealthy as Delilah's grandmother's, but those people inside still have a stable roof over their head. They don't have to worry about getting mugged anytime they leave their clean door step. What is it like on the side though? Are the people inside just as perfect?

Of course not, but they must be much happier then bums like you.

When you begin to see fences, you know that you are entering the place of wealth. Houses built before you were born, standing the test of time much better then the rest of the city has. A car comes in front of you, passing by slowly.

You must stick out, they probably worry that you're here to rob someone. This visit will need to be a quick one. It takes a little bit, but the iron gate reminds you of which house it is. Up the stairs you go, thinking about what you're going to tell her.

Your granddaughter is fucked up because of me, please lend me money to fix it

That'll go well.

You sigh and knock on the door. The instant your knuckle touches the door it swings open, it was never closed properly. You look in a bit and see that all the lights are off, the bedroom door open. From what you can see and hear, there is no one here.

What do you do?
This...isn't right. The air inside is cold, the door has been like this for at least a day. You knock again anyways, your fists easily echoing through the house.

It's silence that greets you back. Checking around, you remember her warning words about a car, but aside from that one that passed by you there's not any....

Shit, you better hurry and take a look. You leave the door open just a crack and begin to snoop about. It's freezing even further inside, she wouldn't have...collapsed, would she?

Look carefully around the bedroom, the kitchen, the living room...

No one.

You're attempting to walk up the wooden stairs quietly, but you can't stop the creaking. You go through each room, looking to see if she's here, if anyone is here. The guest bedroom is the last door, and you can't help but feel nervous as you open it.

Nothing...well, no. Nobody.

This room is a wreck. So...so was that other one, the one with Delilah's father. Well, more then her grandmother would allow it to be. The sheets and blankets were thrown about and things shifted out of place. This room is the same, if not even more trashed. You remember that Delilah left behind the extra change of clothes and the old ones she changed out of, but you only see the new ones thrown to the ground. Did...someone take them? Didn't she leave her book behind too? That might cheer her up, if you could find it. You work quickly, trying to locate it but...it doesn't seem to be here either.

What the hell...

Shit, you should leave. Even if she had just left the door open by accident, if someone sees you snooping about that won't be good. You quickly walk outside and don't stop to think till there is plenty of distance between you and the house. All this is weird...

Focus on Delilah for now. She needs to get better first, then you can focus on this other shit. How could you get money right now though...

You feel a loose note in your pocket and pull it out.

That's right...Delilah wrote down a list of people. More importantly...their addresses. You feel like you could definitely get something from these guys...

Do you go to the camping store or the used car lot, and how do you approach either place?
You've already seen what that guy from the used car place is like, it might be good to go pay a visit to the camping store.

The walk there is long, you have to completely walk out of the nice neighborhoods and head to the cheaper part of town. Places there are run down, and while many of them are still in operation it's easy to spot the closed buildings of failed businesses. It's a shame, when you were a teen they probably would have done well.

You stand across the street from the alleged store, double checking the address written down with the fake gold numbers near the front.

This should be it. What kind of man are you going to face inside?

There are only a few customers here, and as you enter you can see the place closes it's doors at seven, four hours from now.

You meander over to a display of hiking backpacks, feigning interest at them while you scope out the cashier. He seems to be the only one working here...

Is...is that kinda guy really...?

He looks like a ladies man. Soft features, that almost androgynous look that has been popular recently. He just...looks like such a pushover. Could a guy likes this really have raped a little girl?

You move to further back in the store, behind aisles holding the smaller camp gear. There's a glass counter around the cash register, stuff like knives and compasses kept in.

You feel sick to your stomach when you remember Delilah's cheap knife.

Alright...focus right now. There are only two more customers inside with you. Take the chance to scope the place...

There's a door behind the cashier, maybe a supply or break room? You can see there's a phone set up next to the register, but it doesn't look like this guy can afford security cameras.

What is your plan?
It doesn't look like this guy is all that busy. Getting him alone should be easy, so long as you're patient. As you continue to fake interest in the low quality supplies, you spot a box of zip-ties used for tents. You pocket them, keeping an eye on all the customers.

An hour passes, and the last customer is at the register. The elderly woman pays for her racket and shuffles out of the door. You have kept to staying in the back to watch the entire time, but now it's time for action.

"Can I help you, sir?"

That bastard asks you with concern, he's seen you hanging around, not interested in his supplies. You go to the counter, writing him a short message. He's confused that you're communicating with pen and paper, as most people usually are, but accepts the note anyways.

You raped my friend

He looks at you, wide eyed and ready to speak but his words are cut off the second your fist kisses his face. Unprepared and surprised the man falls to the floor, blood flowing from his now crooked nose.

There's struggling and a call for help, but you easily pin his body down and zip tie his wrists and ankles to each other. He's a wriggling mess as you go back to the front door, locking it and flipping the sign to 'Close'. He's ready to scream when you duck behind the counter, pulling out one of the display knives. You pocket it and decide that the back room would be the best place to handle this.

...

It takes some work, but you manage to rearrange the man to a chair, his arms and legs tied down. He's a sobbing mess at this point. You take a look at the Polaroid pictures behind him. You recognize the used car salesman, this must be the right guy.

What do you do?
The familiar burn of anger rises up inside, but you can't let it come out. If you do, then you'll end up with a dead body and no answers. The guy is begging for his life, to let him go. You ignore him, walking over to the desk, removing your coat. Count down from one hundred, calm yourself.

You set down your heavy coat on top of the desk and allow yourself to reach zero. Looking at the photos, you can see this man is in almost all them. There's a few with the used car salesman too...this has to be the right guy...right? You remove one of the Polaroids, one with both men in it, and pocket it. Steady yourself...

A few swigs of whisky and you're ready to begin your task. The man has stopped crying, the blood beneath his nose drying. There's a name tag on the front of his shirt...

Alex

You should try to get him to admit to what he's done, before you do anything too drastic. Luckily for you, intimidation is something that has always came easy in life, even when you didn't want it.

And you definitely want it right now.

The guy braces himself as you walk closer to him, flinching as you lean in close. Your mouth is by his ear, and you prepare yourself for the painful task of speaking.

"Little...girl. Blonde...hair. Know...her?"

"What are you talking about man? A customer? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He's starting to get angry, and you remind him of who is in charge with a strong grip to his shoulder. This Alex guy quickly shuts up.

"You...raped...her. Hurt...her bad." You tighten your grip on his shaking shoulders.

"She...just needed...help. And you...took ad-vantage...of her." Fuck, your throat is already starting to burn.

"Hey man! Don't try and pin something shitty like that on me! I'm a great guy! I don't take random people fucking hostage!"

"You...gave her...a kn-ife. A...cra-ppy knife...and she...will cry...about this...forever."

Once you mention the knife you feel the guy instantly tense up. You stand up straight again, rubbing your throat. Alex is looking up at you, intense hate furrowing his eyebrows.

What do you do?
You're going to make this guy admit to the fucked up thing he did and he's going to face the hell that comes from his actions.

You are absolutely burning up on the inside right now.

Keep that fire down...keep it in check. If you get too angry too quick, then it will all be over and it'll be no better then when you started.

"That...man. In the...photos." You gesture over to his wall. It's sickening, knowing that all those normal looking photos hold the pictures of rapist in them.

"He...helped you. You both...hurt her."

"You can't be talking about Berk. He has a daughter, man!"

In an attempt to keep calm, you close your eyes. Count down again...like you're supposed to...

"I don't know what you're up to man, but you can't just come in here and take an innocent guy like me-"

Alex shuts up as the knife is embedded in the empty space between his legs, the blade half way through the chair. There's half an inch of space between him and the knife, but that's more then enough to get him to shut up.

Okay...now you need to count down...

Fuck it.

You put a firm hold on his neck, squeezing down.

"What...did y-ou...do to...her."

"N-Nothing man!"

You tighten your hold, and you can see him turning red in the face.

"What-"

"I told you! Nothing!"

You jab at his face with your free hand, a large welt forming on his cheek.

"Tell...me."

"FUCK YOU-"

Again, you strike his face. Again and again and again.

You force yourself to stop, the side of his face welling up black and blue, his eye forced shut. You let him go and give him time to catch his breath.

"I'm not getting out of here alive...am I..."

Jesus, it's like hell itself is burning inside of you. It would probably be good for you to take a step away from him, even just for a moment. Lighting a cigarette, you step back into the store front. The cash register...
It takes a bit, but you manage to get it open. Pulling out all the cash, you carefully count it.

Two hundred and thirty three dollars.

You bring the bills in with you, laying them down in a bundle next to your coat. From the chair you can hear what sounds like nervous laughing. Maybe he's lost it...

Kneeling down in front, you force his head to look at you.

Why the fuck is he grinning like that.
"You aren't letting me go...doesn't matter what I say at this point. What was she to you? A little sister? A niece?" His words are coming out a little jumbled, maybe he is losing it. You stand up, looking around the room for anything you could use as...you don't know...evidence? Why the hell would a rapist keep something incriminating though?

As you're rummaging around, Alex keeps speaking.

"Maybe she's a girlfriend then...pft...you seem like a guy who would scope out middle schoolers." You can hear him spit, trying to keep the blood out of his mouth. You look through the desk drawers.

"Are you jealous cause I got to fuck her?"

You stop in place and can only look over at him. He has the most sickening shit eating grin.

"Must be the reason. You don't look anything alike, can't be related. Crazy ass bastard, coming in here like this. Not like it matters...what're you gonna do? Tell the police? You came in here, held me hostage in my own store, and then beat the shit outta me. Doesn't that look bad on you?"

You turn to face him as he says this, and that fucking grin just grows.

"I saw you counting that cash. You gonna rob me too, aren't you? Fucking mute bastard. " He's becoming smug, his friendly facade from earlier melting away.

"You're either going to end up killing me or taking that cash, I just know it. But I can at least get one last kick out of this, can't I? Course I can, that's what I love. Living life to the fullest. You just gotta learn to take what you want, life is too short. Everyone else just wants to take and take from you anyways, why not do the same?"

He's speaking like he is giving a speech to a room full of people, as opposed to only you.

"I taught my friend that, Berk. Guy was always feeling down and depressed, he just needed to learn how to live life. You could do the same man, but maybe this is how you get your kicks. Beating up guys who can't even fight back..."He spits out more blood from his mouth.

"Course...you might just be jealous. She not give it up to you? I know girls just end up becoming whores anyways, spreading their legs to get what they want in life. It's so easy for them, y'know? If they're just going to do that as adults, why not let 'em do it now?"'

Fuck...calm yourself down...

Your fists ball up tightly, yet it feels like you can't move.
"Tell you what, lemme tell ya about that little bitch and then you can just keep that cash. Maybe buy yourself a real whore with it later, or maybe your girl will let you in now that you got something to flash. After the first couple minutes of crying and kicking, she's a real drag in the sack, know what I mean? Like a dead fish! Just laying there on her back, wouldn't even look at me! I thought maybe keeping her around for a bit would be good, even suggested taking her back to the ole apartment for some real fun, but Berk was the one who wanted to let her go. It's a shame, I'm sure after a few days she would just be begging fo-"

The sound of the punch cracks through the air and the chair topples over with him still attached. He's choking on blood and spit, but Alex manages to look you in the eyes.

Despite the hell fire burning in yours, his eyes show that he's absolutely enjoying your pain.

"C'mon man! Lighten up! Or maybe you wanna hear about what her body looks like? Or maybe how tight she wa-"

Your foot connecting to his face shuts him up, at least leaving him dazed and confused.

Calm...calm down. Just...keep yourself calm...

Fuck...fuck fuck fuck FUCK

You pull the knife out from the chair and look down at him. His eyes are closed, but he's still breathing. This piece of shit has nothing here that you can use and you sure as hell can't call the cops. Don't...don't kill him. If you keep beating him, he might die. As much as he deserves it...you can't let that happen.

You still feel that burning anger inside of you though...fuck...

...

Cutting the hair away from his forehead, it's like you've a clean canvas to work with. With a careful and steady hand, you begin to carve letters into his skin, digging just deep enough that you know it will leave scarring.

Rapist

If the law can't bring him down, then maybe society will instead.

You wipe the knife down and pocket it, going back to your coat. Another drink of whisky...fourth of a bottle left.

Putting your coat back on, you look down at the money on the desk. As you contemplate taking it, there is knocking at the door leading in from the alley. Police...? No...no that doesn't sound like police knocking. You wait a moment, but it still persists.

What do you do?
Shit...if they come in and see you then it could mean trouble.
There's part of you that says to leave the money...
But this bastard owes Delilah the world and beyond.
You quickly pocket it and open the door to the front, carefully looking out. It doesn't look like anyone it out there, certainly nothing like cop cars. It might be worth seeing who is coming in. If needed you can just make a dash for the front door.
Safest place to hide would be behind the door leading to the front, allowing for a quick escape. Hiding in a closet means your stuck there if anyone finds you...
Crouching down, you keep the door open just enough to peer in and watch the alley door. The knob begins to shake furiously, is it one of his friends? Maybe they saw that the front was locked...they'll probably just assume he's not here and lea-
You nearly jump from your spot when the alley door is slammed open, the busted lock spewing pieces to the ground. Two men enter in, scanning the area before kneeling down beside the unconscious Alex. They're dressed formally but...they aren't cops though...right? Cops don't dress like that...
They untie Alex from the chair and carry him out through the door. You wait a little bit longer, barely able to hear them speaking. Just wait a bit and they should leave...
One of the men renters the building, and you decide it would be best for you to go before he finds you. Watching your step, you head towards the front door. You can hear the man looting about in the back room, if you can just leave silently it should be fine...
Unlocking the door is easy enough. Alright now just walk outside-
Those stupid fucking bells.
You hear the backroom door open and sprint out to the street. Dodging cars you race across the road and duck behind a thrift store. Crouching behind a dumpster, you try to calm yourself.
What the fuck was that...
You remain in your hiding spot, and as the minutes tick by you're pretty certain they hadn't seen where you went.
You now have a knife and $268, and the sun is about to disappear under the horizon. Tomorrow will be the twenty-fourth.
[b]What do you do?[/b]